Warbird
Developmental
Asshole
Posts: 34
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Post by Warbird on Oct 25, 2017 17:01:07 GMT -6
Sure, why not. Let me have it! I know I’m light on CD, but word limit + Number of opponent’s... |
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 25, 2017 17:07:07 GMT -6
Sure, why not. Let me have it! I know I’m light on CD, but word limit + Number of opponent’s... Boom, there it is, almost like magic >.> And yeah, working with a 3K limit with the TV title is a bitch, so you really impressed me with what you did, but go check out my full feedback in your thread haha. |
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Post by hippoharry on Oct 25, 2017 19:56:30 GMT -6
Sounds good to me. You take trip round A-town, and I get you back tomorrow. You like them numbers? 🤑
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 25, 2017 20:58:24 GMT -6
Sounds good to me. You take trip round A-town, and I get you back tomorrow. You like them numbers? 🤑 Works for me, dawg. |
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Post by Corey Bull on Oct 26, 2017 12:45:22 GMT -6
Im here to request crack....wait a minute, thats not right. No, Im here for feedback and I brought a paddle for the douche canoe. Yeah...thats it.
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 26, 2017 17:44:40 GMT -6
Will get to feedback shortly, just got back from work and tired as hell haha, but I promise I will give feedback TONIGHT!
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Post by Kevin Bishop on Oct 26, 2017 18:22:28 GMT -6
Be so kind senor... You probably haven't read my entire past, hopefully my rps still came off okay.
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Post by hippoharry on Oct 26, 2017 18:40:59 GMT -6
Be so kind senor... You probably haven't read my entire past, hopefully my rps still came off okay. |
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 26, 2017 19:14:09 GMT -6
Be so kind senor... You probably haven't read my entire past, hopefully my rps still came off okay. If we ever go head to head, you can count I'll be reading as many of your RPs as I can. *adds you to my feedback queue* |
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 26, 2017 22:48:39 GMT -6
Be so kind senor... You probably haven't read my entire past, hopefully my rps still came off okay. You are now on my 'must do tomorrow list', and being I have no other requests left, I'll be sure your stuff gets a good thorough read. |
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L Verez {L-7}
Hypermedia Champion
Open minds and positive vibes!
Posts: 289 
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Post by L Verez {L-7} on Oct 26, 2017 23:26:15 GMT -6
Now that I've posted my Hypermedia RPs, I'd like for them to get some feedback.  |
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 26, 2017 23:42:20 GMT -6
Now that I've posted my Hypermedia RPs, I'd like for them to get some feedback. You know what you did? you... YOU JUST MADE THE LIST. *Add you to feedback queue* |
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 27, 2017 19:37:14 GMT -6
Be so kind senor... You probably haven't read my entire past, hopefully my rps still came off okay. In this hobby, making sure people understand your past can be a bitch, but to be honest, even without knowing all of it, I feel I got a good enough sense with how you presented it to let me get the gist of the emotional elements and relevance of certain things, even though I might not have felt the entirety of it due to my own personal unfamiliarity. So being able to see this history of Bishop and the kind of characters that were important to his growth is a very interesting read, and I think those RPs worked really well as a two parter and felt like a rather significant point in Bishop's personal story. Along with a past, its clear you are also setting up for the future, which is really nice, because I also dig a good long term narrative. While being go through all this, you still managed to keep it match relevant to a pretty good degree, which is nice, didn't feel jarring to go from on to the other. I will say that I felt that the second RP had the better shoot with stronger focus on it, better use of personal voice, and more direct criticisms of the opponents, but I feel like that was the plan from the beginning, to make the shoot in the second one the grand finale of the piece, which is nice, makes it all feel like one grander expression, for a lack of a better word. If I have any real complains, the color used for one character's dialogue that was dark red was kind of a strain on the eyes, but other than that, I think you present a solid encapsulation of Bishop's past for those unfamiliar and have set up the ground work for a future narrative. Solid stuff, dawg. |
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 27, 2017 20:29:23 GMT -6
Now that I've posted my Hypermedia RPs, I'd like for them to get some feedback. I would like to start by saying its clear, at least to me, that you had fun writing these, which, in the end, means I had fun reading them. I will say, with the nature of the hypermedia title, it makes it harder to give constructive feedback, because the whole idea is kinda batshit, but in a good way haha. RP1: Fucking ninjas! With all the mentions of chakras and Jutsus and whatnot, I was practically giggling through the whole thing. You also had some legit funny lines in there as well. I think this might have been the most amused I've been reading through RPs this whole week. Also, Corey as a pirate is gold. RP2: It took me a sec to lock onto the Dexter reference, but soon as I did, I laughed. This might have been the weakest out of the three, but it tied in enough fun stuff and was tightly paced enough to be another amusing read, contributing to the wackiness that already is this whole PPV. I did dig the throwback 'cop versus killer' motif, so points on that as well. RP3: Solid shoot. You came in with a point and thoroughly expressed it. You took the route of attempting to define what separated you from others and that being not only being someone to openly challenge corey when others wouldn't, but doing it twice. Your voice was solid through the shoot and really made it about character v. character, with the prize of the title being the cherry on top. Great work. All three very fun RPs, with the time allowance you did a great job. |
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Nov 7, 2017 21:32:19 GMT -6
Okay Schlonglovers, I'm going to be taking a break for the next two weeks BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT, I will still be doing feedback if requested. So, feel free to send me that shit.
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