Post by Mr. Wright on Aug 4, 2016 17:45:02 GMT -6
Incidental Memories
5…4…3…2…1…
*BLAST OFF*
“How the fuck did I end up here?” I said out loud to myself as the giant rocket ship began to release copious amounts of hyper heated hydrogen gas in an effort to create enough propulsion to send it off into space. David Sanchez had convinced me that the best way to get back at the Guardians was to take the fight to them. The fight at the Sloshed Pit was my attempt to do so, and though it didn’t end precisely as I had expected, the flaming remains of the god forsaken pub was the sight I wanted to see at the end of the day regardless, so in the end I felt that I had won anyway.
As the shaking of the rocket juggled my senses around I looked out the porthole window as the cloud cover faded and the atmosphere outside began to darken. I saw the blackest black I have ever seen in deep space, and we were nowhere near deep space yet. Our itinerary had us making our way past the moon and past Mars and then jutting through the asteroid belt. From there we were going to hit Hyper Speed, which is a speed faster than the speed of light which literally tore a hole in the fabric of space and time and would get me to my destination before the trip even started, technically. It was technology stolen from Bonnie Blue and Jay Omega.
“Oxygen levels are fine… helium levels rising…” the voice of mission control said to me.
I felt my voice getting higher in my head. The helium, I was told cause I really don’t know much about this shit, was used to equalize pressure in the cabin. By lowering the air pressure in the cabin, when we hit Hyper Speed it would basically prevent me from exploding from the outside in… which I guess would be called imploding.
I felt light headed. The world began to fade and then I felt that luxurious pinch in my right arm as the world began to fade back into view.
“We’re almost there, sir.” The same voice from earlier said. Apparently what felt like a brief stint of discomfort was in fact hours of unconsciousness. Which is fine, because I was starting to get claustrophobic in this flying pile of junk metal anyway. “MAYDAY…MAYDAY!”
I knew enough to know that ‘Mayday’ meant that shit was going down.
“What the fuck is happening.” I screamed through the microphone in my facemask. But I could hardly hear myself. The world was spinning. The G-force was making me feel sick, and I pressed the button to hook the hose to my mouth so I wouldn’t vomit inside of the helmet.
Thank goodness for that hose because I let it loose, and the next thing I knew we were stopped. There didn’t seem to be any damage to anyone on the vessel or to the vessel itself. I unhooked my seatbelt as the voice in the cockpit said,
“Levels outside seem hospitable. Safe to remove suit.”
And I happily did. As if I wasn’t getting claustrophobic enough from the goddamned cramped space, I was in this suit that was exactly one inch bigger than me on any side, so I was bumping into it and wishing for escape. It was glorious as I had my first breath of dank cockpit air. The antechamber opened and they allowed me in and the doors closed behind me again.
Fucking claustrophobia.
The outside world opened up to me and I stepped out, seeing it for the first time. I had a plasma pistol on my belt, and a light saber over my back for close combat. All of these things fucking exist, it’s wild. I had training on how to use a bow staff, but I knew that the light saber was crazy dangerous. I hoped I wouldn’t have to use it. The plasma pistol was crazy dangerous too, but there was less of a chance of me shooting myself than there was of chopping my hand off like Luke Skywalker.
The world was completely yellow. Like a dessert leading off into the distance. The ground felt like sand and there were pillars that looked like totem poles to my right. Something told me to go there, and it wasn’t the voice inside of my head.
“Don’t go towards those totem poles.” The voice said. It was mission control. They had implanted a camera in my eyes and a com-radio in my ear so they can see and hear me at all times. Sanchez put me on this suicide mission, probably as punishment for losing to Richards at Beachmania, but he wasn’t going to leave me with nothing. Say what you want about the Mayor, but he always gave you a fighting chance, even if he was literally shitting on you’re the whole time.
So despite the constant nagging in my ear I headed towards those pillars. As I got closer the figures became clearer. On the top was what looked like an eagle except instead of a beak, it had what looked like a human nose; it’s majestic wings spread open and at this angle, and at this time of day the tips of the wings touched the very edges of the two suns surrounding it. Below that was definitely a dog, or a wolf’s head. Below that was the body of a bear, or other hairy, giant woodland creature and upon closer inspection that head of the wolf or dog was connected to the bear body and it appeared to be holding the ‘eagle’ above its head.
On the very bottom were symbols carved into the stone, or whatever material this was. It seemed like some sort of Alien language…
“Keep scanning the symbols, Taylor… we’re running it through Genesis and we’ll get back to you.” The voice continued. Genesis was the computer software that they had created that was the smartest and most effective AI the world had ever seen. It was like Jarvis from Iron Man but real, not in some make believe story. “Ok, read after me…”
They said some words and I repeated them. Apparently Genesis had translated the symbols into words.
“En took en La Graplock, Genesu Genesu Jeeva…” I went on for a while repeating these nonsense syllables why Genesis spoke like the robot he was in my ear. Funny that Ihe’s a robot but I consider it a ‘he.’ I finished with… “Yu Tu Ru Pu Gu…VACHA…VACHA…VACHA!”
My voice rose at the end. I was screaming, but I couldn’t help myself… I felt compelled to do so, like I was gaining power form some outside source. It was quite exhilarating really. A rush of energy and a pinch of my arm pulled my towards the totem pole as a door opened.
“Don’t go in there.” The voice said, and even if I wanted to listen to it I couldn’t. An unknown force was pulling me in, grabbing me towards it with invisible arms. I felt the pinching and it get tighter, and pulled harder. Then the door closed behind me and it was dark.
From the outside the totem pole didn’t seem more than 3 feet wide, but as I stretched my arms out I couldn’t feel anything. I stepped forward, expecting to crack my face on the inside but I just kept walking. Then I saw a light in the distance, ever so small. So I walked towards it. The walk turned into a trot and the trot to a run. I was bolting through this dark area, and there was nothing in my way. The light grew larger and brighter with each step and then finally I got to it. And it was just a light. There was no escape there.
It was a dead end. The words never felt more appropriate in my life.
Suddenly, a light turned on behind me. It was about 3 feet off the ground and below it was a little man… or more like a little thing. I had never seen anything like it. It was a chubby little creature, its face more human than anything I had seen around here. It had a nose, and 2 eyes. It looked yellow, but it could have just been the light sticking out of its head on this wire-like appendage. I could see that it had clothes on, it looked like overalls, and had two arms and two legs. For all intents and purposes it was a tiny little man with a light growing out of its head.
“Hi there.” I said and the light shut off. It started making this sound like an old AOL dial up Modem from the 90s or early 2000s where you would have to log in through your phone line, and then if your mom had to make a phone call you would get disconnected always at the time where the Porn was buffering. You know; the original dubstep.
And then the light turned on and the thing spoke back to me.
“Hi there.” It said in perfect English.
“You speak English?” I inquired.
“I heard you speak, and then ran it through my database.” His voice was high pitched and delightful. It sounded almost like Genesis and it made me wonder if it could see and hear what was happening. “English is your primary language and for now it is mine. My name is NFLTR…but you can’t pronounce that with your tongue so you can call me Ned.”
“Hi Ned… where am I?” It’s all I really wanted to know.
“Let me show you…” It made that dial-up noise again and then another door opened in the light behind me. “Come.” It said as it grabbed my hand and led me forward. Beyond the light was more darkness, and the only thing lighting the path was the light on its head. The hallway seemed to go on forever.
I had a feeling I had lost contact with mission control. They would definitely be commenting on this right now. Either they could see and hear what I saw and I couldn’t hear them, or they were gone completely. Neither scenario made me feel good. I was alone except for Ned. Ned was my new best friend. And to think, all of this when I was slated to fight in a tournament for $100,000 dollars.
Oh, the things I could do with that money. First thing I would do is buy my own car. It was cool riding in that magic limo that Sanchez had but I wanted my own set of wheels. I wouldn’t cheap out either, I figure I’d spend around 30K on that bad boy then I would use the rest to take my girl on the greatest date ever.
Derrin and I had been seeing each other steadily for some time now. She deserved a nice night on the town. I was thinking of renting a private jet and taking her to Paris for the weekend. Staying in the nicest hotels, eating at the nicest restaurants, and walking through the beautiful city of lights while holding hands at night.
All I had to do was get past Dustin Beaver first. That ball of positivity was not going to be an easy challenge. The dude just won’t die, it’s pretty fucking nuts. He was a joke at first. I didn’t think he would or could amount to anything, then the next thing you know he’s got one of the tightest holds on a belt that is defended every week at his old joint.
He proved his worth and ever since joining the UCI had done even more to cement his place in the fed. Wentworth told me that he was only allowing the ones he felt were most worthy into this tournament. Something told me that Crow and Howard Black were busy so he let me in, but I’ll allow it. Because it’s been a long time since I had a good fight on my hands.
I had been on a good streak leading into my match with Richards. I had been putting my all into wrestling in a way that I didn’t even think imaginable, and the whole time maintaining my duties as the Ambassador of Urban Relations for the city of Chicago under the Sanchez administration. And I was fucking killing it.
The blacks loved me, the Puerto Ricans loved me, even the Chinese loved me. I had them eating out of the palm of my hand. The Crips, the Hearts and the Triads were all working for the Syndicate now. I had done everything that Sanchez had asked of me while nursing a broken nose and faking having a broken neck from the hands of Alex Richards.
And then he sends me to this...
Breathtakingly beautiful place…
THIS is where I need to bring Derrin.
A door opens and it looks like paradise. There is a beautiful ocean in the horizon in front of a beach of beautifully manicured sand. There were trees of every color you could imagine and some that you can’t surrounding the edges of the beach and Ned led me towards a cabin in the distance. I heard the voices of the other little creatures saying ‘he’s here… he’s here… the chosen one…’ I didn’t know what they meant but it was pretty cool to be a celebrity even on another planet.
He brought me to the cabin and let me in first. It led to a beautifully decorated room. These aliens lived the life. They lived like rich humans… I imagined that Updegraff would even be impressed. The head alien, or what I assumed to be the head alien, was sitting on a throne made of what looked like gold. Apparently Gold was cool everywhere. He was bigger than all the rest of the little aliens, and he looked most like a human out of all of them.
“Taylor Wright… we meet at last.” He said to me.
“I haven’t told anyone here my name.” I said, it wasn’t a question, I didn’t have to ask it.
“You are a famous man, Mr. Wright. The Wright man for the job, I’m afraid.” He spoke with this creepy British accent but it was like German too or something. I don’t know where he was pulling it from, I know they had access to the human language but I don’t know from where. He sounded like a bad Bond villain.
And then I remembered. I was sent here for a reason. I’m not sure if I’m on the right planet, but I might as well inquire.
“I’m looking for the orb of Halderob. Am I in the right place?”
“Yes.”
How convenient, I thought. Could it be THAT easy?
“Can… can I have it?” Please… I should have said please.
“Yes.” He replied. I guess it IS that easy. “But I must first have you for dinner.”
I’m no dummy.
“I don’t think so, pal. I’m no one’s dinner…”
“I’m sorry. I meant you should join us for dinner.”
I AM a dummy.
“Um… sure…” I answered unconvincingly.
“But first… the PARADE!” He shouted
“The what?”
Before I could even finish two little guys picked me up with abnormal strength on their shoulders. They carried me through the little town as the other little creatures shouted my name…
TAYLOR…TAYLOR…TAYLOR…
They brought me towards this fog and as they did I could still hear my name being screamed but had lost all vision. I felt like I stopped moving too. The little guys I think put me on my back. I put my head down and started to sweat.
I had no idea what was happening. The soft sand became a stuff wood floor. The sweet smell of ocean air suddenly stunk of pot and crack. The sweet voices shouting my names turned into the stuttering mess of a trio of men and women shouting at me…
“Taylor…TAYLOR!” One particularly raspy voice said to me. I opened my eyes and suddenly I could see again. I could hardly lift my head, I looked down at my arm where I felt the pinching and found the needle in one of the less scarred portions.
“Ah, shit man,” I said. “I was having the best dream, and the best part of it was that none of yous were there!” I was only half joking, but they laughed like it was a full joke.
I looked to my right and Derrin lay next to me with her own needle in her arm. She was completely passed out, the only reason I knew she was alive was her chest heaving up and down.
“Your phone is ringing off the hook, man.” the bald toothless guy said to me.
“Oh, shit!” I knew what was up. I was supposed to meet Sanchez at like… I looked at the clock… and hour ago. Fuck, that bitch didn’t like waiting. I tried to get up quickly, but could hardly move.
“Here, have some of this.” Baldy shoved a crack pipe in my mouth and sparked up. I instinctively took a breath in and got a surge of adrenaline. I sat straight up and got my shit together. If I could just get there… he’ll be pissed, but he’ll be glad I showed up… fuck I can’t screw up again!
“Tell D to meet me at home... and stop fucking shooting her, she’s done, bro. Hear me?” He nodded as I rushed out of the dilapidated boat house. And fuck if that magic limo wasn’t FUCKING waiting for me right in front. The door opened and I reluctantly stepped inside.
I hardly sat down when Sanchez laced into me.
“The fuck is wrong with you? Listen, I’m all for enjoying myself, but do it with fucking style, man. Do it with grace. Don’t fucking hole up with these white trash junkies and settle for fucking crack instead of cocaine. We’re the fucking face of the city…”
“I’m the ambassador of Urban Relations. What do you think THEY would think if they caught me living the lavish lifestyle?”
It was hard for him to argue. I had to maintain appearances.
“Don’t fucking be late for our appointments again.” He spit at me as he grabbed his bottle of tan liquid and poured himself a glass. I didn’t dare ask for one myself.
“That’s why this tournament is so fucking important to me, man. If I win this money then I can start living more like the way you want me too without losing my cred, ya hear?”
“Well you aren’t going to win anything looking like that. You look like the fucking crackheads that Beaver is feeding on the weekends. You think you can win in the UCI with THAT garbage. You couldn’t even beat Alex Richards.”
“He beat me and got a title shot…shot. A contendership match. That’s fucking saying something.”
“But I’M a champion. This is how a champion presents himself. THIS is how a champion looks.” He points to himself in his perfectly tailored suit and his Italian leather shoes. He points to his perfectly groomed 5’oclock shadow and his tight AF haircut. He continued. “You dress for the job you want, not the one you have.” He said wisely.
“I promise you that I’m taking this shit seriously.” I was. “I want to win this tournament more than you can possibly beavlieve… I mean believe… see… I got Beaver on the mind. It’s all I can think about, bro. I watched him fucking handle Jayden Thunder last week. The little bitch got moves. He got skills, and don’t you think I’m underestimating him, alright, ‘cause I’m not. I’m fucking legit, bro. I fucking gon’ take this nig to town when I face him on Sunday at the tournament. You think I’m playin?”
“I don’t think you’re playing.” Sanchez began “But if you get by Beaver you’re gonna eventually face me. And if you think that I’m going to lie over and play dead for you… you got another thing coming. Now get your shit together, beat Beaver and join me in destroying the guardians at Overload.”
As always as soon as the conversation ended the limo stopped right in front of where I was staying. The door opened and I could have sworn that I felt Sanchez’s boot on my ass as I exited the limo. I looked at the doorway and Derrin sat there looking disheveled as hell.
What did I do to her? She was a perfectly groomed and beautiful woman when we met. And now look at her. Shit went south for me and I drug her down with me… Sanchez was right… I gotta get my shit together.
“Come on babe… lets take a shower.” I said to her as I helped her to her feet.
“Together?” She coyly asked…
Of course together.
5…4…3…2…1…
*BLAST OFF*
“How the fuck did I end up here?” I said out loud to myself as the giant rocket ship began to release copious amounts of hyper heated hydrogen gas in an effort to create enough propulsion to send it off into space. David Sanchez had convinced me that the best way to get back at the Guardians was to take the fight to them. The fight at the Sloshed Pit was my attempt to do so, and though it didn’t end precisely as I had expected, the flaming remains of the god forsaken pub was the sight I wanted to see at the end of the day regardless, so in the end I felt that I had won anyway.
As the shaking of the rocket juggled my senses around I looked out the porthole window as the cloud cover faded and the atmosphere outside began to darken. I saw the blackest black I have ever seen in deep space, and we were nowhere near deep space yet. Our itinerary had us making our way past the moon and past Mars and then jutting through the asteroid belt. From there we were going to hit Hyper Speed, which is a speed faster than the speed of light which literally tore a hole in the fabric of space and time and would get me to my destination before the trip even started, technically. It was technology stolen from Bonnie Blue and Jay Omega.
“Oxygen levels are fine… helium levels rising…” the voice of mission control said to me.
I felt my voice getting higher in my head. The helium, I was told cause I really don’t know much about this shit, was used to equalize pressure in the cabin. By lowering the air pressure in the cabin, when we hit Hyper Speed it would basically prevent me from exploding from the outside in… which I guess would be called imploding.
I felt light headed. The world began to fade and then I felt that luxurious pinch in my right arm as the world began to fade back into view.
“We’re almost there, sir.” The same voice from earlier said. Apparently what felt like a brief stint of discomfort was in fact hours of unconsciousness. Which is fine, because I was starting to get claustrophobic in this flying pile of junk metal anyway. “MAYDAY…MAYDAY!”
I knew enough to know that ‘Mayday’ meant that shit was going down.
“What the fuck is happening.” I screamed through the microphone in my facemask. But I could hardly hear myself. The world was spinning. The G-force was making me feel sick, and I pressed the button to hook the hose to my mouth so I wouldn’t vomit inside of the helmet.
Thank goodness for that hose because I let it loose, and the next thing I knew we were stopped. There didn’t seem to be any damage to anyone on the vessel or to the vessel itself. I unhooked my seatbelt as the voice in the cockpit said,
“Levels outside seem hospitable. Safe to remove suit.”
And I happily did. As if I wasn’t getting claustrophobic enough from the goddamned cramped space, I was in this suit that was exactly one inch bigger than me on any side, so I was bumping into it and wishing for escape. It was glorious as I had my first breath of dank cockpit air. The antechamber opened and they allowed me in and the doors closed behind me again.
Fucking claustrophobia.
The outside world opened up to me and I stepped out, seeing it for the first time. I had a plasma pistol on my belt, and a light saber over my back for close combat. All of these things fucking exist, it’s wild. I had training on how to use a bow staff, but I knew that the light saber was crazy dangerous. I hoped I wouldn’t have to use it. The plasma pistol was crazy dangerous too, but there was less of a chance of me shooting myself than there was of chopping my hand off like Luke Skywalker.
The world was completely yellow. Like a dessert leading off into the distance. The ground felt like sand and there were pillars that looked like totem poles to my right. Something told me to go there, and it wasn’t the voice inside of my head.
“Don’t go towards those totem poles.” The voice said. It was mission control. They had implanted a camera in my eyes and a com-radio in my ear so they can see and hear me at all times. Sanchez put me on this suicide mission, probably as punishment for losing to Richards at Beachmania, but he wasn’t going to leave me with nothing. Say what you want about the Mayor, but he always gave you a fighting chance, even if he was literally shitting on you’re the whole time.
So despite the constant nagging in my ear I headed towards those pillars. As I got closer the figures became clearer. On the top was what looked like an eagle except instead of a beak, it had what looked like a human nose; it’s majestic wings spread open and at this angle, and at this time of day the tips of the wings touched the very edges of the two suns surrounding it. Below that was definitely a dog, or a wolf’s head. Below that was the body of a bear, or other hairy, giant woodland creature and upon closer inspection that head of the wolf or dog was connected to the bear body and it appeared to be holding the ‘eagle’ above its head.
On the very bottom were symbols carved into the stone, or whatever material this was. It seemed like some sort of Alien language…
“Keep scanning the symbols, Taylor… we’re running it through Genesis and we’ll get back to you.” The voice continued. Genesis was the computer software that they had created that was the smartest and most effective AI the world had ever seen. It was like Jarvis from Iron Man but real, not in some make believe story. “Ok, read after me…”
They said some words and I repeated them. Apparently Genesis had translated the symbols into words.
“En took en La Graplock, Genesu Genesu Jeeva…” I went on for a while repeating these nonsense syllables why Genesis spoke like the robot he was in my ear. Funny that Ihe’s a robot but I consider it a ‘he.’ I finished with… “Yu Tu Ru Pu Gu…VACHA…VACHA…VACHA!”
My voice rose at the end. I was screaming, but I couldn’t help myself… I felt compelled to do so, like I was gaining power form some outside source. It was quite exhilarating really. A rush of energy and a pinch of my arm pulled my towards the totem pole as a door opened.
“Don’t go in there.” The voice said, and even if I wanted to listen to it I couldn’t. An unknown force was pulling me in, grabbing me towards it with invisible arms. I felt the pinching and it get tighter, and pulled harder. Then the door closed behind me and it was dark.
From the outside the totem pole didn’t seem more than 3 feet wide, but as I stretched my arms out I couldn’t feel anything. I stepped forward, expecting to crack my face on the inside but I just kept walking. Then I saw a light in the distance, ever so small. So I walked towards it. The walk turned into a trot and the trot to a run. I was bolting through this dark area, and there was nothing in my way. The light grew larger and brighter with each step and then finally I got to it. And it was just a light. There was no escape there.
It was a dead end. The words never felt more appropriate in my life.
Suddenly, a light turned on behind me. It was about 3 feet off the ground and below it was a little man… or more like a little thing. I had never seen anything like it. It was a chubby little creature, its face more human than anything I had seen around here. It had a nose, and 2 eyes. It looked yellow, but it could have just been the light sticking out of its head on this wire-like appendage. I could see that it had clothes on, it looked like overalls, and had two arms and two legs. For all intents and purposes it was a tiny little man with a light growing out of its head.
“Hi there.” I said and the light shut off. It started making this sound like an old AOL dial up Modem from the 90s or early 2000s where you would have to log in through your phone line, and then if your mom had to make a phone call you would get disconnected always at the time where the Porn was buffering. You know; the original dubstep.
And then the light turned on and the thing spoke back to me.
“Hi there.” It said in perfect English.
“You speak English?” I inquired.
“I heard you speak, and then ran it through my database.” His voice was high pitched and delightful. It sounded almost like Genesis and it made me wonder if it could see and hear what was happening. “English is your primary language and for now it is mine. My name is NFLTR…but you can’t pronounce that with your tongue so you can call me Ned.”
“Hi Ned… where am I?” It’s all I really wanted to know.
“Let me show you…” It made that dial-up noise again and then another door opened in the light behind me. “Come.” It said as it grabbed my hand and led me forward. Beyond the light was more darkness, and the only thing lighting the path was the light on its head. The hallway seemed to go on forever.
I had a feeling I had lost contact with mission control. They would definitely be commenting on this right now. Either they could see and hear what I saw and I couldn’t hear them, or they were gone completely. Neither scenario made me feel good. I was alone except for Ned. Ned was my new best friend. And to think, all of this when I was slated to fight in a tournament for $100,000 dollars.
Oh, the things I could do with that money. First thing I would do is buy my own car. It was cool riding in that magic limo that Sanchez had but I wanted my own set of wheels. I wouldn’t cheap out either, I figure I’d spend around 30K on that bad boy then I would use the rest to take my girl on the greatest date ever.
Derrin and I had been seeing each other steadily for some time now. She deserved a nice night on the town. I was thinking of renting a private jet and taking her to Paris for the weekend. Staying in the nicest hotels, eating at the nicest restaurants, and walking through the beautiful city of lights while holding hands at night.
All I had to do was get past Dustin Beaver first. That ball of positivity was not going to be an easy challenge. The dude just won’t die, it’s pretty fucking nuts. He was a joke at first. I didn’t think he would or could amount to anything, then the next thing you know he’s got one of the tightest holds on a belt that is defended every week at his old joint.
He proved his worth and ever since joining the UCI had done even more to cement his place in the fed. Wentworth told me that he was only allowing the ones he felt were most worthy into this tournament. Something told me that Crow and Howard Black were busy so he let me in, but I’ll allow it. Because it’s been a long time since I had a good fight on my hands.
I had been on a good streak leading into my match with Richards. I had been putting my all into wrestling in a way that I didn’t even think imaginable, and the whole time maintaining my duties as the Ambassador of Urban Relations for the city of Chicago under the Sanchez administration. And I was fucking killing it.
The blacks loved me, the Puerto Ricans loved me, even the Chinese loved me. I had them eating out of the palm of my hand. The Crips, the Hearts and the Triads were all working for the Syndicate now. I had done everything that Sanchez had asked of me while nursing a broken nose and faking having a broken neck from the hands of Alex Richards.
And then he sends me to this...
Breathtakingly beautiful place…
THIS is where I need to bring Derrin.
A door opens and it looks like paradise. There is a beautiful ocean in the horizon in front of a beach of beautifully manicured sand. There were trees of every color you could imagine and some that you can’t surrounding the edges of the beach and Ned led me towards a cabin in the distance. I heard the voices of the other little creatures saying ‘he’s here… he’s here… the chosen one…’ I didn’t know what they meant but it was pretty cool to be a celebrity even on another planet.
He brought me to the cabin and let me in first. It led to a beautifully decorated room. These aliens lived the life. They lived like rich humans… I imagined that Updegraff would even be impressed. The head alien, or what I assumed to be the head alien, was sitting on a throne made of what looked like gold. Apparently Gold was cool everywhere. He was bigger than all the rest of the little aliens, and he looked most like a human out of all of them.
“Taylor Wright… we meet at last.” He said to me.
“I haven’t told anyone here my name.” I said, it wasn’t a question, I didn’t have to ask it.
“You are a famous man, Mr. Wright. The Wright man for the job, I’m afraid.” He spoke with this creepy British accent but it was like German too or something. I don’t know where he was pulling it from, I know they had access to the human language but I don’t know from where. He sounded like a bad Bond villain.
And then I remembered. I was sent here for a reason. I’m not sure if I’m on the right planet, but I might as well inquire.
“I’m looking for the orb of Halderob. Am I in the right place?”
“Yes.”
How convenient, I thought. Could it be THAT easy?
“Can… can I have it?” Please… I should have said please.
“Yes.” He replied. I guess it IS that easy. “But I must first have you for dinner.”
I’m no dummy.
“I don’t think so, pal. I’m no one’s dinner…”
“I’m sorry. I meant you should join us for dinner.”
I AM a dummy.
“Um… sure…” I answered unconvincingly.
“But first… the PARADE!” He shouted
“The what?”
Before I could even finish two little guys picked me up with abnormal strength on their shoulders. They carried me through the little town as the other little creatures shouted my name…
TAYLOR…TAYLOR…TAYLOR…
They brought me towards this fog and as they did I could still hear my name being screamed but had lost all vision. I felt like I stopped moving too. The little guys I think put me on my back. I put my head down and started to sweat.
I had no idea what was happening. The soft sand became a stuff wood floor. The sweet smell of ocean air suddenly stunk of pot and crack. The sweet voices shouting my names turned into the stuttering mess of a trio of men and women shouting at me…
“Taylor…TAYLOR!” One particularly raspy voice said to me. I opened my eyes and suddenly I could see again. I could hardly lift my head, I looked down at my arm where I felt the pinching and found the needle in one of the less scarred portions.
“Ah, shit man,” I said. “I was having the best dream, and the best part of it was that none of yous were there!” I was only half joking, but they laughed like it was a full joke.
I looked to my right and Derrin lay next to me with her own needle in her arm. She was completely passed out, the only reason I knew she was alive was her chest heaving up and down.
“Your phone is ringing off the hook, man.” the bald toothless guy said to me.
“Oh, shit!” I knew what was up. I was supposed to meet Sanchez at like… I looked at the clock… and hour ago. Fuck, that bitch didn’t like waiting. I tried to get up quickly, but could hardly move.
“Here, have some of this.” Baldy shoved a crack pipe in my mouth and sparked up. I instinctively took a breath in and got a surge of adrenaline. I sat straight up and got my shit together. If I could just get there… he’ll be pissed, but he’ll be glad I showed up… fuck I can’t screw up again!
“Tell D to meet me at home... and stop fucking shooting her, she’s done, bro. Hear me?” He nodded as I rushed out of the dilapidated boat house. And fuck if that magic limo wasn’t FUCKING waiting for me right in front. The door opened and I reluctantly stepped inside.
I hardly sat down when Sanchez laced into me.
“The fuck is wrong with you? Listen, I’m all for enjoying myself, but do it with fucking style, man. Do it with grace. Don’t fucking hole up with these white trash junkies and settle for fucking crack instead of cocaine. We’re the fucking face of the city…”
“I’m the ambassador of Urban Relations. What do you think THEY would think if they caught me living the lavish lifestyle?”
It was hard for him to argue. I had to maintain appearances.
“Don’t fucking be late for our appointments again.” He spit at me as he grabbed his bottle of tan liquid and poured himself a glass. I didn’t dare ask for one myself.
“That’s why this tournament is so fucking important to me, man. If I win this money then I can start living more like the way you want me too without losing my cred, ya hear?”
“Well you aren’t going to win anything looking like that. You look like the fucking crackheads that Beaver is feeding on the weekends. You think you can win in the UCI with THAT garbage. You couldn’t even beat Alex Richards.”
“He beat me and got a title shot…shot. A contendership match. That’s fucking saying something.”
“But I’M a champion. This is how a champion presents himself. THIS is how a champion looks.” He points to himself in his perfectly tailored suit and his Italian leather shoes. He points to his perfectly groomed 5’oclock shadow and his tight AF haircut. He continued. “You dress for the job you want, not the one you have.” He said wisely.
“I promise you that I’m taking this shit seriously.” I was. “I want to win this tournament more than you can possibly beavlieve… I mean believe… see… I got Beaver on the mind. It’s all I can think about, bro. I watched him fucking handle Jayden Thunder last week. The little bitch got moves. He got skills, and don’t you think I’m underestimating him, alright, ‘cause I’m not. I’m fucking legit, bro. I fucking gon’ take this nig to town when I face him on Sunday at the tournament. You think I’m playin?”
“I don’t think you’re playing.” Sanchez began “But if you get by Beaver you’re gonna eventually face me. And if you think that I’m going to lie over and play dead for you… you got another thing coming. Now get your shit together, beat Beaver and join me in destroying the guardians at Overload.”
As always as soon as the conversation ended the limo stopped right in front of where I was staying. The door opened and I could have sworn that I felt Sanchez’s boot on my ass as I exited the limo. I looked at the doorway and Derrin sat there looking disheveled as hell.
What did I do to her? She was a perfectly groomed and beautiful woman when we met. And now look at her. Shit went south for me and I drug her down with me… Sanchez was right… I gotta get my shit together.
“Come on babe… lets take a shower.” I said to her as I helped her to her feet.
“Together?” She coyly asked…
Of course together.