Love, Whatever That Is (Pt. 5-2) - To Save the Maiden Fair
Aug 3, 2016 18:48:44 GMT -6
Wentworth Updegraff Jr., Bonnie Blue, and 1 more like this
Post by The Polar Phantasm on Aug 3, 2016 18:48:44 GMT -6
(Missing pieces of "To Save the Maiden Fair", Part V of Guardians: Love, Whatever That Is. Sorry about the delay!)
<3
-B.
-----------------------------------------
[Scene: Wicker Park, Chicago; more specifically, the Sloshed Pit. Ms. Miyamoto, Alex Richards and the Polar Phantasm - an unlikely trio, for sure - prepare for a bit of 'action diplomacy'. Alex grabs a baseball bat; Polar jacks 'clips' into his cryopistols.]
Phantasm: So I see two ways we could handle this, neither of which is necessarily an 'easy' way... I mean, it's the friggin' Yakuza. They're not exactly teddy bears.
Richards: Whichever way means I get to bust a few heads, I support it.
[Alex checks the weight of his bat, giving a practice swing.]
Richards: You think I have time to put nails in this?
[Polar starts to say something in response, but Miyamoto jumps in...]
Miyamoto: Let me talk to them first; perhaps I can open a dialogue. Whatever else they may be, these men are businessmen first and foremost.
------------------------------------
[Scene: West Town, Chicago; more specifically, a small fenced off industrial park. We see the Strange Rover pull up to the fence, Phantasm giving a bit of voiceover...]
Phantasm (voiceover): We're gonna ease in there and let Miyamoto try to sort this out. If that goes sideways, we go to Plan B... good old Guardians justice.
[Inside the building, we see a number of Yakuza sitting around playing cards, drinking Sapporo and generally looking nasty... there is a pounding sound as something- or someone- hits the side of the warehouse outside. The door opens; the Yakuza draw their weapons as Miyamoto steps in with hands raised.]
Miyamoto: Watashi wa fuyasu yō ni natte kite imasu. Watashi wa busō shite inaidesu. Bōryoku o hitsuyō to shimasen*.
(* - "I am here to parlay. I am not armed. There is no need for violence." -B.)
[Guns drawn, the Yakuza tense slightly... one of them shouts a challenge in interrogative form.]
Yakuza Soldier: Anata ga koko ni kuru tame ni daredesuka*?
(* - "Who are you to come here?" -B.)
Miyamoto: Watashinokazoku wa kishi-dō no soshiki to no tsunagari o motte imasu. Anata no nakama wa watashi no nakama no yūjin o totte imasu. Watashitachiha bijinesu o okonau koto ga dekiru to shinjite*.
(* - "My family have ties to the chivalrous organizations. Your associates have taken a friend of my associates. I believe we can do business." -B.)
Yakuza Soldier: Watashitachi no shinjikēto wa, sudeni pātonā o motte imasu. Wareware wa mada kakawarazu, anata to no bijinesu o motsu koto ni narimasu*...
(* - "Our syndicate already has a partner. We will still have business with you, though..." -B.)
[Switching back to English suddenly, Miyamoto says a curious word...]
Miyamoto: Scorpio.
[...and, on cue, in come Guardians Phantasm and Richards. The Yakuza aim and fire; their bullets bounce back, kneecaping two of their number and catching one man through the left eye. Alex Richards' forcefield does it magic, keeping the Guardians and their guest alive to fight another day... or, more pertinently, a moment later. Forcefield and all, Alex charges the densest concentration of Yakuza; one of them takes the worst of the impact, flying backward through a sheet metal wall.]
Richards: Wow, how 'bout it for West Town construction!
[Polar and Miyamoto leap into action a moment behind Alex, Miyamoto delivering a blistering high kick to her would-be assailant as Polar begins thinning the herd with his cryopistols. The final Yakuza moving gets up from his prone position- having been thrown to the ground by Miyamoto's kick- and catches a very stiff baseball bat swing to the back of the head.]
Miyamoto: I thought you were the good guys.
Richards: We are!
Phantasm: Yep- welcome to post-Wave Chicago.
[The trio head further into the warehouse; a pair of Yakuza rush from the back, machine guns ringing out their particular song... the team take cover, Polar changing clips in his cryopistols.]
Phantasm: Miyamoto, stay here- Alex... Alex?
[He looks to his left, expecting the commanding presence of Alex Richards... and seeing no one instead.]
Phantasm: ...Alexa?
[They hear a clunk, then a shout in Japanese, then another clunk. An oddly feminine voice shouts...]
Richards: Handled it.
[Polar looks at Miyamoto, who seems quite confused.]
Phantasm: That look, right there? We call that an Alex Richards special.
[Deeper in the building, Alex (not Alexa, as he is now visible) finds a confused and alarmed Rebecca, gagged and tied to a radiator. He quickly undoes her bindings, trying to keep his composure as the girl throws her arms around him.]
Rebecca: It's you again- somehow I knew you would save me!
Richards: It was nothing; just the Yakuza, no big deal. Just be glad you didn't get nabbed by 8-Bit or somebody like that!
Rebecca: I'm sorry, what?
Richards: Oh, uh... glad you're ok! Can I give you a ride home?
Rebecca: Actually- can you take me to meet my friend Paul? I was supposed to meet him hours ago, and I'm sure he's worried sick.
[Alex shrugs, not remembering that Rebecca can't see.]
Richards: Oh- sure, no problem. Come on, follow me.
[...A few moments later, outside... we see Polar and Ms. Miyamoto waving goodbye to Alex and Rebecca as they head off in the Strange Rover. Polar makes a call...]
Phantasm: I need a cab... 1732 West Kinzie. Name's Cameron. Thanks.
[Miyamoto looks to him, wondering what their timeframe is for escape.]
Phantasm: Twenty minutes. Gonna make one more call- give me a second, ok?
---------------------------------------
[Scene: City Hollow, Chicago; more specifically, Sanctuary. Mayor Sanchez stands by the window behind his desk, sipping an amber liquid from a rocks glass... he notices with some annoying that his phone has begun to ring.]
Sanchez: Can't these fools do anything without a fucking consultation?
[He answers the phone in a businesslike fashion.]
Sanchez: I'm in an important meeting with an 18-year-old right now; what is it?
Phantasm: Her name wouldn't happen to be Glenmorangie, would it?
Sanchez: Oh... you again. To what do I owe this displeasure?
[Reacting with even more annoyance, Mayor Sanchez reaches over and presses a few buttons on his console. A window pops up doing a visual trace of the caller's whereabouts.]
Phantasm: Not going well with the Yakuza, eh? So hard to find good help these days...
[Trace completed, the Mayor realizes with some disappointment that he's receiving this phone call from the likely location his 'insurance policy' was being kept.]
Sanchez: You just keep turning up everywhere, don't you?
[He switches view to a camera on West Kinzie; as he does, he looks right into the face of the Phantasm. Polar stares down a 'crime-control' camera across the street from him as he speaks...]
Phantasm: Yeah, it's a thing I do. Another thing I do? Figuring people out. I'm figuring you out, Sanchez... and that's bad news for you.
Sanchez: We'll see about that, Phantasm... we'll see.
Phantasm: Just watch me, Sanchez.
[Sanchez reacts to his screen with a double-take- he isn't positive... but he can swear he just saw the Phantasm wink at him as he hung up the call.]
----------------------------------------
[Scene: Wicker Park, Chicago; more specifically, West Pierce Avenue. Despite the hours' time Rebecca is late for her... uh, meeting... her 'friend' is still waiting. A handsome fellow, Alex notices as he pulls up- wait a second, is that Paul Rudd? Is 'Paul' motherfucking Paul Rudd?]
Rebecca: Do you see Paul? He's, uh... I've heard he's handsome...
Richards: Is he Paul Rudd?
Rebecca: Oh, you know him! That's nice.
Richards: Is it, now.
[Cut to outside; Alex helps Rebecca to meet Paul, who rushes over with a look of concern.]
Paul: What happened? Is everything ok?
Rebecca: Oh, everything is fine, Paul- there was some trouble, but Alex here-
[Paul embraces Rebecca protectively. Alex takes a step back; he sighs.]
Richards (voiceover): I guess this is how it goes for a guy like me.
Paul: Who's this guy? Alex what? You messing with my friend, buddy?
Richards (voiceover): Oh well- no reason I can't have a bit of fun on my way out.
Richards: I ain't your buddy, guy. Far as I'm concerned, you owe me the nine bucks I paid to see Dinner For Schmucks!
[WIth practiced flair, Richards lifts Paul Rudd and delivers The Final Enlightenment. There is a brief gurgling noise after the thump of flesh on sidewalk... Rebecca looks slightly confused.]
Rebecca: Paul? Alex? What happened?
[Alex shrugs, this time counting on Rebecca not being able to see it.]
Richards: He was choking on something, but he's fine now. Hey, you want a ride home? Or maybe to grab some dinner? Paul looks like he's otherwise occupied.
Rebecca: Oh... well, in that case, sure- you're my hero, after all. Lead the way, sir?
[She offers her arm; he takes it and heads back toward the Strange Rover with his 'date' in tow.]
Richards (voiceover): Sorry, Paul Rudd- you were the shit in Ant-Man, though!
--------------------------------------------------
LOVE, WHATEVER THAT IS
Series conceived by Alex Richards, Bonnie Blue and the Polar Phantasm
Series directed by the Polar Phantasm
Episode Five: To Save The Maiden Fair
Episode written by the Polar Phantasm
'The Guardians' created by Bonnie Blue, Jay Omega and the Polar Phantasm
(Come home soon, Spaceman.)
-------------------------------------------
[Scene: Wicker Park, Chicago; more specifically, the Sloshed Pit. The employee door opens, sunlight streaming into the dank hole of a bar... inside, Crystal Bankston and Bonnie Blue react with vampiric agony at the shockingly sudden, shockingly bright visit... as the door closes, we can see that Alex Richards has returned... and brought his date along with him.]
Richards: How'd you sleep?
Rebecca: Fairly well; your truck is very spacious on the inside.
[Nightmare coughs on a hit as she shakily passes the joint to Bonnie; she doesn't even notice, barely able to sip her coffee in shock at the sight before her.]
Nightmare: Alex- who's your friend?
Rebecca: Oh! Is someone there?
Bonnie: Your blind friend.
Richards: Rebecca, this is Bonnie and Crystal- they work with me.
Rebecca: Oh, do you work at the Sloshed Pit too?
Nightmare: Yes. Yes, we do.
Bonnie: We're here so much we might as well move on in!
[They share an exaggerated sitcom laugh entirely for Rebecca's benefit.]
Richards: Rebecca, sweetie- give me a second?
[She sits in a chair nearby, waving a bit in the general direction of the other Guardians. Alex approaches, surprise etched on his face.]
Richards: I don't know either- I thought she'd freak out at... every point during the date, honestly, but... nothing shakes this woman! She figured out what I look like, right? Still here!
Bonnie: Thinking she's a keeper, Alex...
Richards: So then just to make sure, I went invisible... during, you know... she *still* didn't shake! Visible, invisible, man, woman-
Nightmare: Talk about going both ways... hehe.
Bonnie: Definitely a keeper, Alex.
[Alex looks to his date, then back to his friends.]
Richards: What am I supposed to do now that I had sex with her? Normally this is the part where they wake up, realize what they've done and run screaming.
[Nightmare laughs; Bonnie chokes on her hit a little.]
Nightmare: Just go with it, Alex. Relationships can be fun-
Bonnie: Yeah... it just gets more weird from here. You'll love it!
Richards: Thanks, ladies.
[Alex walks off, escorting his date to the bar. There is a celebratory cheer at Alex's arrival.]
Nightmare: He probably will love it- weird's pretty much his jam.
Bonnie: And how could it not get weird? Boy went and found himself the one woman in this town that can keep up with him!
------------------------------------
[(c) United Championship Infinite 2016. All rights reserved.]
<3
-B.
-----------------------------------------
[Scene: Wicker Park, Chicago; more specifically, the Sloshed Pit. Ms. Miyamoto, Alex Richards and the Polar Phantasm - an unlikely trio, for sure - prepare for a bit of 'action diplomacy'. Alex grabs a baseball bat; Polar jacks 'clips' into his cryopistols.]
Phantasm: So I see two ways we could handle this, neither of which is necessarily an 'easy' way... I mean, it's the friggin' Yakuza. They're not exactly teddy bears.
Richards: Whichever way means I get to bust a few heads, I support it.
[Alex checks the weight of his bat, giving a practice swing.]
Richards: You think I have time to put nails in this?
[Polar starts to say something in response, but Miyamoto jumps in...]
Miyamoto: Let me talk to them first; perhaps I can open a dialogue. Whatever else they may be, these men are businessmen first and foremost.
------------------------------------
[Scene: West Town, Chicago; more specifically, a small fenced off industrial park. We see the Strange Rover pull up to the fence, Phantasm giving a bit of voiceover...]
Phantasm (voiceover): We're gonna ease in there and let Miyamoto try to sort this out. If that goes sideways, we go to Plan B... good old Guardians justice.
[Inside the building, we see a number of Yakuza sitting around playing cards, drinking Sapporo and generally looking nasty... there is a pounding sound as something- or someone- hits the side of the warehouse outside. The door opens; the Yakuza draw their weapons as Miyamoto steps in with hands raised.]
Miyamoto: Watashi wa fuyasu yō ni natte kite imasu. Watashi wa busō shite inaidesu. Bōryoku o hitsuyō to shimasen*.
(* - "I am here to parlay. I am not armed. There is no need for violence." -B.)
[Guns drawn, the Yakuza tense slightly... one of them shouts a challenge in interrogative form.]
Yakuza Soldier: Anata ga koko ni kuru tame ni daredesuka*?
(* - "Who are you to come here?" -B.)
Miyamoto: Watashinokazoku wa kishi-dō no soshiki to no tsunagari o motte imasu. Anata no nakama wa watashi no nakama no yūjin o totte imasu. Watashitachiha bijinesu o okonau koto ga dekiru to shinjite*.
(* - "My family have ties to the chivalrous organizations. Your associates have taken a friend of my associates. I believe we can do business." -B.)
Yakuza Soldier: Watashitachi no shinjikēto wa, sudeni pātonā o motte imasu. Wareware wa mada kakawarazu, anata to no bijinesu o motsu koto ni narimasu*...
(* - "Our syndicate already has a partner. We will still have business with you, though..." -B.)
[Switching back to English suddenly, Miyamoto says a curious word...]
Miyamoto: Scorpio.
[...and, on cue, in come Guardians Phantasm and Richards. The Yakuza aim and fire; their bullets bounce back, kneecaping two of their number and catching one man through the left eye. Alex Richards' forcefield does it magic, keeping the Guardians and their guest alive to fight another day... or, more pertinently, a moment later. Forcefield and all, Alex charges the densest concentration of Yakuza; one of them takes the worst of the impact, flying backward through a sheet metal wall.]
Richards: Wow, how 'bout it for West Town construction!
[Polar and Miyamoto leap into action a moment behind Alex, Miyamoto delivering a blistering high kick to her would-be assailant as Polar begins thinning the herd with his cryopistols. The final Yakuza moving gets up from his prone position- having been thrown to the ground by Miyamoto's kick- and catches a very stiff baseball bat swing to the back of the head.]
Miyamoto: I thought you were the good guys.
Richards: We are!
Phantasm: Yep- welcome to post-Wave Chicago.
[The trio head further into the warehouse; a pair of Yakuza rush from the back, machine guns ringing out their particular song... the team take cover, Polar changing clips in his cryopistols.]
Phantasm: Miyamoto, stay here- Alex... Alex?
[He looks to his left, expecting the commanding presence of Alex Richards... and seeing no one instead.]
Phantasm: ...Alexa?
[They hear a clunk, then a shout in Japanese, then another clunk. An oddly feminine voice shouts...]
Richards: Handled it.
[Polar looks at Miyamoto, who seems quite confused.]
Phantasm: That look, right there? We call that an Alex Richards special.
[Deeper in the building, Alex (not Alexa, as he is now visible) finds a confused and alarmed Rebecca, gagged and tied to a radiator. He quickly undoes her bindings, trying to keep his composure as the girl throws her arms around him.]
Rebecca: It's you again- somehow I knew you would save me!
Richards: It was nothing; just the Yakuza, no big deal. Just be glad you didn't get nabbed by 8-Bit or somebody like that!
Rebecca: I'm sorry, what?
Richards: Oh, uh... glad you're ok! Can I give you a ride home?
Rebecca: Actually- can you take me to meet my friend Paul? I was supposed to meet him hours ago, and I'm sure he's worried sick.
[Alex shrugs, not remembering that Rebecca can't see.]
Richards: Oh- sure, no problem. Come on, follow me.
[...A few moments later, outside... we see Polar and Ms. Miyamoto waving goodbye to Alex and Rebecca as they head off in the Strange Rover. Polar makes a call...]
Phantasm: I need a cab... 1732 West Kinzie. Name's Cameron. Thanks.
[Miyamoto looks to him, wondering what their timeframe is for escape.]
Phantasm: Twenty minutes. Gonna make one more call- give me a second, ok?
---------------------------------------
[Scene: City Hollow, Chicago; more specifically, Sanctuary. Mayor Sanchez stands by the window behind his desk, sipping an amber liquid from a rocks glass... he notices with some annoying that his phone has begun to ring.]
Sanchez: Can't these fools do anything without a fucking consultation?
[He answers the phone in a businesslike fashion.]
Sanchez: I'm in an important meeting with an 18-year-old right now; what is it?
Phantasm: Her name wouldn't happen to be Glenmorangie, would it?
Sanchez: Oh... you again. To what do I owe this displeasure?
[Reacting with even more annoyance, Mayor Sanchez reaches over and presses a few buttons on his console. A window pops up doing a visual trace of the caller's whereabouts.]
Phantasm: Not going well with the Yakuza, eh? So hard to find good help these days...
[Trace completed, the Mayor realizes with some disappointment that he's receiving this phone call from the likely location his 'insurance policy' was being kept.]
Sanchez: You just keep turning up everywhere, don't you?
[He switches view to a camera on West Kinzie; as he does, he looks right into the face of the Phantasm. Polar stares down a 'crime-control' camera across the street from him as he speaks...]
Phantasm: Yeah, it's a thing I do. Another thing I do? Figuring people out. I'm figuring you out, Sanchez... and that's bad news for you.
Sanchez: We'll see about that, Phantasm... we'll see.
Phantasm: Just watch me, Sanchez.
[Sanchez reacts to his screen with a double-take- he isn't positive... but he can swear he just saw the Phantasm wink at him as he hung up the call.]
----------------------------------------
[Scene: Wicker Park, Chicago; more specifically, West Pierce Avenue. Despite the hours' time Rebecca is late for her... uh, meeting... her 'friend' is still waiting. A handsome fellow, Alex notices as he pulls up- wait a second, is that Paul Rudd? Is 'Paul' motherfucking Paul Rudd?]
Rebecca: Do you see Paul? He's, uh... I've heard he's handsome...
Richards: Is he Paul Rudd?
Rebecca: Oh, you know him! That's nice.
Richards: Is it, now.
[Cut to outside; Alex helps Rebecca to meet Paul, who rushes over with a look of concern.]
Paul: What happened? Is everything ok?
Rebecca: Oh, everything is fine, Paul- there was some trouble, but Alex here-
[Paul embraces Rebecca protectively. Alex takes a step back; he sighs.]
Richards (voiceover): I guess this is how it goes for a guy like me.
Paul: Who's this guy? Alex what? You messing with my friend, buddy?
Richards (voiceover): Oh well- no reason I can't have a bit of fun on my way out.
Richards: I ain't your buddy, guy. Far as I'm concerned, you owe me the nine bucks I paid to see Dinner For Schmucks!
[WIth practiced flair, Richards lifts Paul Rudd and delivers The Final Enlightenment. There is a brief gurgling noise after the thump of flesh on sidewalk... Rebecca looks slightly confused.]
Rebecca: Paul? Alex? What happened?
[Alex shrugs, this time counting on Rebecca not being able to see it.]
Richards: He was choking on something, but he's fine now. Hey, you want a ride home? Or maybe to grab some dinner? Paul looks like he's otherwise occupied.
Rebecca: Oh... well, in that case, sure- you're my hero, after all. Lead the way, sir?
[She offers her arm; he takes it and heads back toward the Strange Rover with his 'date' in tow.]
Richards (voiceover): Sorry, Paul Rudd- you were the shit in Ant-Man, though!
--------------------------------------------------
LOVE, WHATEVER THAT IS
Series conceived by Alex Richards, Bonnie Blue and the Polar Phantasm
Series directed by the Polar Phantasm
Episode Five: To Save The Maiden Fair
Episode written by the Polar Phantasm
'The Guardians' created by Bonnie Blue, Jay Omega and the Polar Phantasm
(Come home soon, Spaceman.)
-------------------------------------------
[Scene: Wicker Park, Chicago; more specifically, the Sloshed Pit. The employee door opens, sunlight streaming into the dank hole of a bar... inside, Crystal Bankston and Bonnie Blue react with vampiric agony at the shockingly sudden, shockingly bright visit... as the door closes, we can see that Alex Richards has returned... and brought his date along with him.]
Richards: How'd you sleep?
Rebecca: Fairly well; your truck is very spacious on the inside.
[Nightmare coughs on a hit as she shakily passes the joint to Bonnie; she doesn't even notice, barely able to sip her coffee in shock at the sight before her.]
Nightmare: Alex- who's your friend?
Rebecca: Oh! Is someone there?
Bonnie: Your blind friend.
Richards: Rebecca, this is Bonnie and Crystal- they work with me.
Rebecca: Oh, do you work at the Sloshed Pit too?
Nightmare: Yes. Yes, we do.
Bonnie: We're here so much we might as well move on in!
[They share an exaggerated sitcom laugh entirely for Rebecca's benefit.]
Richards: Rebecca, sweetie- give me a second?
[She sits in a chair nearby, waving a bit in the general direction of the other Guardians. Alex approaches, surprise etched on his face.]
Richards: I don't know either- I thought she'd freak out at... every point during the date, honestly, but... nothing shakes this woman! She figured out what I look like, right? Still here!
Bonnie: Thinking she's a keeper, Alex...
Richards: So then just to make sure, I went invisible... during, you know... she *still* didn't shake! Visible, invisible, man, woman-
Nightmare: Talk about going both ways... hehe.
Bonnie: Definitely a keeper, Alex.
[Alex looks to his date, then back to his friends.]
Richards: What am I supposed to do now that I had sex with her? Normally this is the part where they wake up, realize what they've done and run screaming.
[Nightmare laughs; Bonnie chokes on her hit a little.]
Nightmare: Just go with it, Alex. Relationships can be fun-
Bonnie: Yeah... it just gets more weird from here. You'll love it!
Richards: Thanks, ladies.
[Alex walks off, escorting his date to the bar. There is a celebratory cheer at Alex's arrival.]
Nightmare: He probably will love it- weird's pretty much his jam.
Bonnie: And how could it not get weird? Boy went and found himself the one woman in this town that can keep up with him!
------------------------------------
[(c) United Championship Infinite 2016. All rights reserved.]
