#BeachMania Predictions

I want to see predictions for what my announcement is!

Price announces that he's drunk

Price announces that he drugged us all after War and this whole UCI thing has just been a drug-addled illusion orchestrated by he and Seth to keep the white man down.

Or... "Price Wears Panties" by DJ Corey Black and the Evening Funk just became number one hit song in all Kazakhstan.

Real predictions to follow when Raw's finished... yes I know it's Tuesday.

Main Event
UCI World Heavyweight Championship
Crow McMorris © vs. Howard Black
Winner: Howard Black
Reason: This is a beast of a match. I love Crow's work, he's so consistant and deserved to be a world champion when I feckin' joined the last place, nevermind a year later. I have to return the #manlovefromabove though - IMO Howie's the best RPer here, without competition at the minute. I'm my own worst critic, Flash is fucking with-holding, Omega's terminally AFK, Gable's still dropping that Gabley goodness but as a character I can't quite get into yet (early days for me), Crow's boss but there's just something missing in comparison, that Dark Knight Feeling perhaps. Not literally, don't start trying to take down petty criminals and shit. I just mean that one RP you read and immediately go: "this guy... this is the fuccin' guy." Howie had it way back when and has it every two or three weeks since bringing back Black. Kidding... it's the beard <3

Co-Main Event
No Disqualification
Andre Holmes vs. Erin Fausse
Winner: Erin Fausse
Reason: #SyndicateCleanSweep. Fausse is the best writer here I hadn't read before I got here. If the little shit doesn't submit his portion to Windy City Stories soon I'ma tell his mother he smokes so he gets grounded and ultimately loses but yeah, there's a reason I recruit who I do, and it usually isn't character relevance (not primarily anyway although that shit does help) It's people who either give me a great match, which he did - or post interesting, well-constructed and alluring RPs each week, which he did.

UCI Intercontinental Championship (Formerly Rising Stars)
David Sanchez © vs. Michael
Winner:
Reason:

Bar Room Brawl
Alex Richards vs. Mr. Wright
Winner: Fister Mantastic
Reason: #SyndicateCleanSweep. Gem's been out for a while, but I has faith. Richards is a strong character and constantly stuck at that gap between midcard and main event (which is my fucking gap, get out my fucking gap! xD) but if you've got a second and are unfamiliar with the Taylor Wright character - go back and read: "Riding Little Red in the Hood" I might have got that title wrong but search

Ladder Match
Kyle Cameron vs. Andre Jenson
Winner: Can't call it.
Reason: I know too much, and even if I didn't it'd be closer than unwashed hands to your food at any Pizza Hut... anywhere... ever.

Wentworth Updegraff Jr. vs. Bonnie Blue
Winner: Bonnie.
Reason: I don't like betting against Dale. I don't like it at all but Bonnie's a great writer and lately her shoot's been getting a lot more vicious - which this guy likes. It's okay to be an absolute bastard sometimes, even when your the sweet-looking crowd pleaser, this is one of those times. Sorry Dale, I still love you <3

UCI Television Championship
Jessica Buck © vs. Chase Jackson
Winner: Jessica Buck
Reason: #SyndicateCleanSweep. Buck gets better at shoot every week, Tort is Tort, so we all know he could win this and any other match at any given time by applying auto-tune to a dog wearing a hat for fifteen minutes whilst he sings about her left breast but... I have faith in my girl/boy. 3k word limit seems to be the money shot for Jess, and that belt's hers/his for as long as he/she wants it. We need to get you into more Syndicate story but when you've only got 3'000 words to play with, you need them all to rip apart your opponent.

DIAVOLO vs. Julian Mercury
Winner: Diavolo
Reason: I kinda want Moreno to take this because Chris tried to trick a newb into his transit van with promises of candy and kittens, but this outcome is paying taxes bruh, inevitable.

Shadowlove vs. Polar Phantasm
Winner: Polar
Reason: #PushPolar, probably don't actually push Polar though lol, dude's an amazing writer, his method of structure is second to none and he's an idea machine. You should have given the Guardian's their own belt and made them fight to the death for it in weirdly stipulated matches each week. Jay Omega on a pole match? Hell in a Tardis? Power-Armor and Panties match? Where the fuck is Vince Russo?



Jayden Thunder vs. Dustin Beaver
Winner: Beaver
Reason: ... You don't want me to put anything in this box. I am taking the moral high ground here. I am officially a Beavliever, okay I'm already writing. My prediction? Jaydandoxalypse needs a new sig, sucks some Crow meat, and will be back in the Dub by Friday. Sorry, warn me, ban me... give a fuck, it's been 13 years of this shit. Dude should be opening the show, at best.



Mandie Wheeler vs. Chris Cane
Winner: Mandie Wheeler
Reason: I think Chris Cane left us via penis(writing)envy.


Chase Scott vs. Jericho Salazar
Winner: Jericho Salazar
Reason: Gets better every week he shows, takes in critique like a sponge.


Jonathan Porter vs. Night Wolf
Winner: Porter
Reason: If I hadn't kidnapped Buck straight out of the starting gate I'd be considering doing the same to this guy. I will say something though; It doesn't matter who you were somewhere else when you come to a new place. I hope what I read to open Overload was a character being over-confident in his abilities and not a writer, 'cause if it was the latter then booooo! Solid segment though, and dude sounds accomplished, I dunno if it's just me being cynical because most people here have already seen what eachother can do. I was right about Jess Buck's Boytits and I'm going to be right again here. One to watch.

Hajeet vs Captain Zero
Winner: Hajeet
Reason: See Howie's Ford Focus based explanation.

I vouge for porter. Great shooter. I'm excited to see what he does here. And for the record Sanchez, I've already tried to court him loll