The Curse Or The Legacy Of Shadowlove!

Laying down relaxing and sunbathing on a Wave Chaise Lounge with Cushion designed by Source Outdoor, the Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei”, Ms. Miyamoto, is reading a copy of the Wall St. Journal. The simply ravishing femme fatale temptress has her raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin is dressed for success in a camouflage string bikini, created by Beach Bunny Swimwear. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:


MS. MIYAMOTO: Jessica, Jessica, Jessica, bellissimo, brava! Girl Power and all that jive! And now that we have all the festivities and the accolades of your winning the Television Championship out of the way, let's say we both get down to the reality of facing “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san this week on Overload? As your esteemed Mayor David Sanchez-san and Howard Black-san can attest,  Shadowlove-san is quite the worthy antagonist as well as quite the worthy protagonist in the United Championship Infinite as well as in the entire sports entertainment business. And as a once prolific and popular avant-garde personality once said, “Everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes in their life”. Well, I really, really hate to be the one to break this to you, but your fifteen minutes of fame and fortune have pretty much ran dry once you defeated Wentworth Updegraff Jr-san for the United Championship Infinite’s Television Championship. . .


She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face showing off her incandescent green eyes, looking over the top of the Wall St. Journal, scans back and forth like The Terminator then focuses on the viewing audience at home, especially one, Jessica Buck and The Syndicate.


MS. MIYAMOTO: Jessica Buck, when you and Syxx Gibbler first saw “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san’s name written on the contract for your first title defense at Overload this week, you, Syxx Gibbler, and even The Syndicate knew right away that the new “it” girl’s weak and pale venture into becoming “The Face” of the United Championship Infinite has not only come spiralling down but has also come crashing down to a very terrible end right before your very eyes. But, don’t fret too much though, Jessica, your day in the sun may, or may not, come to fruition one day. After all, The Syndicate always tries to recruit the fresh off the boat types like yourself with the same old “schpeel” of being the “face” of this organization. Oy Vay! Even, David Sanchez-san knows that being “The Face” of The Syndicate is nothing special, just look at the rest of your competition in The Syndicate? Jessica, your better than average “face” is just one that only a “parent of the year” like your mother could love. Enough Said!. . .


A silhouette of an apex predator glides smoothly and sleekly through the crystal clear sky blue water of an Infinity pool. With each head position, each body rotation, each extended arm stroke and flutter kick taken by the apex predator, their minds, bodies, hearts and souls seems to reach the maximum levels of synchronization in anticipation of winning the United Championship Infinite’s Television Championship.

And as if on cue. . .

“The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove breaches the crystal clear sky blue water showing the muscular upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs. He runs his hands over his slicked back classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and down his muscular chest and washboard abs and flicks beads of crystal clear sky blue water from off his fingers in a “No one in the UCI makes it rain better than ‘The Handsome Half-breed’! You may be that “Hot As Fuck” Jessica Buck, but everything appears cheap on the UCI’s dollar menu when you got the munchies, babe” gesture.


SHADOWLOVE: Reality! Ain’t that a Bitch? J-Buck, you’re better off being a mindless drone like Mr. Tay-Tay and that “Choke and Puke” Chef in The Syndicate rather than being just another cheap floozy out for a quick Buck. Do you really want to be the next Erin Fausse when taking a handout from The Syndicate? If you can't beat him, you might as well join that hawker, gambler, and swindler, who is pawning his wares like a snake oil salesman each and every week in this organization, right? You know, Sancho, I've heard that “pimping” ain't easy? But, Jessie Girl and The Relentless One’s Ladykiller, I’ve also heard that “whoring” a whole lot rougher down there at City Hollow, right? J-Buck, after I end you with The Dark Gift and the UCI Fandom starts singing in harmony, “See me, feel me, touch me, heal me”, the good news is, at least The Syndicate will know that “Hot As Fuck” Jessica Buck can still play a mean pinball!. . .


Shadowlove, wearing custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned swim trunks, exits the crystal clear sky blue water of an Infinity pool and in slow-motion, turns into a head-banging tsunami giving a big hearty shake like a dog drying off. He slides on custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned flip-flops and makes his way to Ms. Miyamoto laying on Wave Chaise Lounge.


MS. MIYAMOTO: Jessica Buck, even before you attempt to climb on Shadowlove-san’s leg and try to dry hump his legacy, you should know doppelgänger, no matter how you want to package yourself, you will, and will always be, just a very cheap knockoff version of a mediocre female Hollywood remake of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. And if you have been paying any sort of attention to Hollywood these days, then you would know that the “Hot As Fuck” Jessica Buck remake is as bland, as blasé, and as passé, as those that have come before “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san and those that are coming after him when hanging on to his coattails in the veil attempt to make a name for his or herself in this organization. You claim to be the “new” hotness in the United Championship Infinite? Well, with one quick around the world snap of fingers, in the blink of his ice cold blue eyes, with the arrogance, lust, and greed from his tight wolfish whiplash smile, Shadowlove-san has turned your “hotness”, Jessica Buck, into nothing more that an infomercial, only to be seen on late night “coathanger for rabbit ears” TV without your local cable and satellite and Internet provider. . .


“PERSONAL JESUS” by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.

The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, bows his head, raising arms straight out to his side, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, definitely wept and let out a big sigh of relief knowing that he’s back 100%, she’s Asian and The Dynamic Duo are a couple of badassed mutherfuckas.


SHADOWLOVE: J-Buck, just think, this is me liking you too! “The Handsome Half-breed”, Me, has been at the forefront of every “Past”, “Present”, and “Future” trend happening in this organization ever since circa May 9, 2016 at 9:11am. You don't need to steal Bonnie Blue’s 1974 Ford Ranchero to figure out that I was doing that voodoo that I do better than anyone in this organization and in the entire sports entertainment business even before The Syndicate was a thought in Sancho’s groin and that “parent of the year” mama of yours painted your face up like a nickel and dimebag street-walking toddler while slapping that cubic zirconia tiara on your head. By the time we are through with this Television Championship match this Sunday Night on Overload, J-Buck, you will be bindging and purging everything in sight. So much so that, Chef Atticus Rex will be making The Syndicate a very special “Royale With Cheese” in honor of your defeat since you choke and puke when gagging on all meat that you eat. But if you’re lucky, I will autograph your chest with a Sharpie, so that you can have a permanent magic-marker reminder of who really is the “New” UCI Television Champion!. . .


Shadowlove raises his head showing an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes on his chiseled fighter's face. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appears on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a “ask everyone in the UCI backstage and the UCI Fandom, who your modern day charismatic and charming egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac, and apex predator really is in this organization?” shit-eating grin.


Ms. Miyamoto rolls up the copy of the Wall St. Journal and begins tapping it into the palm of her hand. And with Bushidō catlike precision, she seductively rises up from the Wave Chaise Lounge and takes her proper place cradling against Shadowlove's body. She starts caressing this magnificent Specimen’s muscular chest with her fingers.


MS. MIYAMOTO: Jessica Buck, it is easy to see why you are filled with so much animosity, so much mental and physical suffering in your life, especially when you're feasting your eyes on your demise. Your modern day charismatic and charming egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac, and apex predator affluence in the United Championship Infinite has caused quite the psychological malaise in quite a few people such as yourself. While this very above average looking woman desperately starves for attention by having to flaunt her “hotness”, so to speak, in the in the Red Light District of City Hollow, Shadowlove-san just has to show up to any event in the United Championship Infinite, or any other organized event such as a concert, a nightclub, a restaurant, or any other sporting event throughout the world and shit, pardon my French, hits the fan. Contrary to what you might believe, Jessica, you weren't born to be great in this organization; you weren't born to be a leader in this organization; and you weren't even born to rule in this organization. No, no no, you were, and always will be, born to be that toddler with that chintzy tiara on your head that your “parent of the year” mother, Katrina Buck, has always groomed you to be all your life and nothing more. Save your thank yous, you have just learned yet another valuable life lesson about “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san’s Legacy. . .


Shadowlove and Ms. Miyamoto starts to the dance, the dance of passion, a Sexy “Dynamic Duo” Tango, around the Wave Chaise Lounge and the Infinity pool. “The Dynamic Duo” are mesmerizing to watch, they're seamlessly *NSYNC with one another. So much so that, the rhythmic motion of the crystal clear water of an Infinity pool mystically appears to be matching every dip and sweep coming from the Sexy “The Dynamic Duo” Tango.


SHADOWLOVE: J-Buck, just like when Wentworth questionably pinned yours truly in his first defense of his first reign as Television Champion; just like when The Beavs took the Television Championship from Wentworth; just like when Wentworth took the Television Championship back from The Beavs; and just like when you took the Television Championship away from Wentworth; POOF! And just like that, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove will be the “new and very much approved” World Television Champion!. . .


Shadowlove does a Discount Double Check (no product placement here only where the UCI Television Championship truly belongs) style move like Green Bay Packers Quarterback, Aaron Rodgers.


SHADOWLOVE: TRUST ME! And there isn't a damn that that you, J-Buck, that Sancho, that Erin Fausse, that Syxx Gibbler and the rest of that band of unimportance in The Syndicate, can do about it! It’s just the circle of life here in the UCI when it comes to a mediocre talent like yourself reigning as Television Champion. Since you won't blame your loss on having a “blonde” moment, if you've been paying very close attention to the UCI backstage and the UCI Fandom, then you know that my first World Television Championship Title Reign will be my last, that is, until I retire, of course. Whichever comes first? That is the reality of your situation and will no doubt very simply be my very, very rude awakening Dark Gift to you, The Syndicate, and the entire UCI. This Television Championship has been long overdue and The World Television Championship will be around my waist. That is either The Curse or The Legacy Of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove. J-Buck, your idle threats and sappy combacks about me will be, and are, completely meaningless. . .


Shadowlove reaches into his custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned swim trunks, makes an adjustment, and pulls out a handful of Ketchup packets and opens them with his teeth. He fakes slitting his own throat with his finger and simultaneously, squeezes the Ketchup packets at the same time. The “old-school” special effect style move sends the Ketchup, substituting for his own universal O-Neg blood, all over his neck, from jugular vein to jugular vein, left to right, for the viewing audience at home.


SHADOWLOVE: J-Buck, Howie Black threatened my livelihood and what good did that do for him? So what if he won a match against me? SO WHAT! Did Howie set out to do what he promised to do to me in our match? Nope! Did Howie end my UCI career by breaking my arm? Nope! Did Howie make me squeal like a pig in a “Relentless” pursuit of submission as he did in the so-called, self-proclaimed match of the year against Andre Holmes? Nope! Do you, J-Buck, have anyone like Howie Black who is afraid to sign on the dotted line in a Hardcore match before a PPV, even after challenging you live on Twitter to a rematch, even after he won our first encounter? Now, ever’body, all at once. . . NOPE!. . . END OF STORY!. . .


Shadowlove, wearing custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned swim trunks and custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned flip-flops, stands at the edge of the Infinity pool and looks down at his reflection in the calm crystal clear sky blue water.

Shadowlove hypnotized by his own reflection of handsomeness in the calm crystal clear sky blue water, performs a “Karate Kid” style Crane Kick sending the first, then the second, Calvin Klein alligator skinned flip-flop into the Infinity pool.

Shadowlove starts to "strip" off his custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned swim trunks like a Chippendale's dancer. Spinning the Calvin Klein crocodile skinned swim trunks around him like a Matador in a bullring, throwing them up into the air, catching them and putting the Calvin Klein crocodile skinned swim trunks back on as if nothing has happened.

“HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.

Ms. Miyamoto exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around Shadowlove. She pirouettes with Bushidō catlike precision in a double, triple toe loop, salchow, style move over the calm crystal clear sky blue water and sticks the landing on the other side of Shadowlove. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses, showing off her incandescent green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen and takes her proper place cradling against Shadowlove's body and caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.

Shadowlove looks at his custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned flip-flops floating on the calm crystal clear sky blue water. A light bulb, and actual light bulb, lights up above his head and making quite the halo around his slicked back classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair. His ice cold blue eyes begin to sparkle and a malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appears on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a “UCI Public Service Announcement: Don’t you try this at home, boys and girls.” shit-eating grin.


SHADOWLOVE: And now, for my next trick or treat, I will walk on water. . .


Shadowlove starts to “funky” strut, like “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes in an attempt to walk on the calm crystal clear sky blue water. He “Flair-flops” into a Ron Burgundy style CANNONBALL in the calm crystal clear sky blue water.

SPLASH!

A mischievous smile appears on Ms. Miyamoto's very angelic looking face in an “Oh, well!” gesture. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:


MS. MIYAMOTO: Jessica, Jessica, Jessica, you shall reap what you sow. The basic nature of The Voice of God, not "THE GOD", but, a God’s Old West Style of Justice is; Galatians 6: verse 7 thru 9 in the King James Version of The Bible; Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap; For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting; And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not!


She raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic face with her middle finger.

THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND...THE END!