Today's Special: Howard Black's Peking Duck
Jun 29, 2016 19:58:10 GMT -6
Spencer Adams, Bonnie Blue, and 1 more like this
Post by SHADOWLOVE on Jun 29, 2016 19:58:10 GMT -6
An unmanned, subcontracted by the United Championship Infinite, U.S Air Force MQ-1B Predator Drone, carrying a Hellfire air-to-surface missiles, flies a covert black ops mission over the United States territory of the sacred Native American Paha Sapa, the Black Hills, rising from the Great Plains of North America in western South Dakota and extending into Wyoming.
The unmanned Predator Drone’s aerial satellite imaging shows the majestic panoramic view of the sacred Native American Paha Sapa, the Black Hills, has the exact shape of chambers, veins, and arteries from that of the human heart.
The cross-hairs from the unmanned Predator Drone’s aerial satellite imaging targeting system hones in on the true heart of the matter. . .
Your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, stands posing like a fashion model on a catwalk. He’s stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a black leather trench-coat along with Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots.
Shadowlove looks up into the wild blue yonder showing off a fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a shit-eating grin, seamlessly knowing that the unmanned Predator Drone has targeted him for termination.
He runs his fingers through his classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and down his muscular chest and washboard abs and flicks beads of sweat from off his fingers and up at the unmanned Predator Drone in an “I don’t sweat you Howard Black” gesture.
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei” Ms Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, stands cradled next to Shadowlove caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
Her raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses to go along with a Native American Headdress. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin encased in a form-fitting Hot On The Trail Native American Dress with knee-high moccasin boots.
Adding a little naughty flair to this gorgeous earth goddess look and unlocking your primal passion and go native and having no trouble finding someone to share your tepee. Embracing the power, the beauty, and the spirituality of nature with this elegant sleeveless evening dress design. The playful, inviting fringe tops a plunging V neckline with bead detail, showing off her assets.
The long, fringe-fronted skirt provides a peek at her legs while keeping it classy. Even the hottest dress is nothing without the proper accessories. The neckline and belt are accented with beautiful bead work reminiscent of tribal crafts and adding extra color and flirty fun. A delicate earth-tone and a faux-suede treatment finishes this native-inspired look.
Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
MS. MIYAMOTO: There has been a lot of speculation and hyperbole about Shadowlove-san’s ancestry, personal hygiene, and skill-set both inside and outside of the squared-circle here in the United Championship Infinite as of late. Shadowlove-san, be it winning or losing, will always play a very crucial role in the United Championship Infinite by residing not only at the very top of this organization but also maintaining the very sanity of the sports entertainment business. Where three wrestlers like Crow McMorris-san, Howard Black-san, and the self-esteemed Mayor Sancho skirmish over the nuances of the samo he said/she said hurt feeling dynamics over their falling out of who should be the face of the United Championship Infinite, Shadowlove-san shows how a wrestler can reshape the beliefs, the desires, and the priorities of the United Championship Infinite by achieving influence in this organization without having a Championship around his waist. Shadowlove-san, therefore doesn't need to be distinguished by such things as hereditary titles deemed necessarily to win over the hearts and minds, or for that matter, harnessing the energies and passions of the United Championship Infinite. . .
“The Dynamic Duo” make their way to and enter a traditional Wigwam made up of slender withes of willow lashed together with rawhide and set into the ground in a circle, approximately 10 feet in diameter, covered in Buffalo hides which sits at the base of the desecration of Paha Sapa, the Black Hills, Mount Rushmore.
The slender withes of willow were bent over and lashed to form a low domed framework approximately 7 feet high at the center. The pit in the center was about 2 feet in diameter and a foot deep. The floor of the lodge was clean swept dirt, covered with a mat of sweetgrass, soft cedar boughs, sage leaves for comfort and cleanliness, and kept well away from the central pit.
The Inipi Ceremony was designed for the spiritual, mental, and physical healing for those who needed the power and wisdom from The Great Spirit and Mother Earth.
"The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove sitting Indian-style, the wagon burning way and not the taxi driving way. His low dusky voice ringing out fully, with charm and charisma that one can muster, mister:
SHADOWLOVE: Howie, just look at how easy it was for me to manipulate you into this match? All I had to do was use social media to my advantage. You should be thanking me for keeping your name relevant. I mean, look at all that Howard “The Duck” Black gear selling out like hotcakes? Hell, Crow McMorris and the UCI should have a pancake breakfast in my honor before the World Championship Match. Look into it Price! But Howie, you have threatened my livelihood with dire consequences over blind innuendo. That is “es muy malo” for you señor. Your civil disobedience on your supposed march towards the World Championship is a recipe for failure. Not only will you have to expend every considerable ounce of mental and physical resource that you think that you have against me in this match, Howie, but you will have to cash in the ever-increasing mental and physical asset that you have in order to defeat me in this Sunday on Overload. . .
Ms. Miyamoto takes her proper place and cradles against Shadowlove's body and caresses his muscular chest with her fingers. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose, showing off incandescent green eyes on her angelic face.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Shadowlove-san can inspire the United Championship Infinite through his influence and manipulation as an act of articulating what Howard Black-san can and cannot do in the ring. This power of persuasion increases the credibility of Shadowlove-san and the entire United Championship Infinite. In other words, instead of being the self-depleting “Best That Never Was” like Howard Black-san, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san is a self-regenerating brand-name not only here in the United Championship Infinite but also in the sports entertainment business. It is quite remarkable, almost alchemic, that this quality of life makes Shadowlove-san so importantly fascinating not only here in the United Championship Infinite but also in the sports entertainment business. . .
An Ogala-Lakota-Sioux squaw enters the Wigwam carrying a red-hot stone to the pile in the middle of the pit and leaves. A red hot illuminating reddish-orange glow appears on Shadowlove’s chiseled fighter's face. He is drinking ice-cold coconut water from a coconut with a straw and little pink umbrella. Shadowlove takes a quick sip of the ice cold coconut water.
SHADOWLOVE: Since my brand-name centers on the self-regenerating influences and manipulations not only here in the UCI but also in the sports entertainment business, then in order to understand my true value in this organization you will need to focus more on the mental state of Howie Black and take heed in what he has to say and ask yourselves a question, “Does Howie Black have what it takes both mentally and physically to defeat Crow McMorris for the World Championship, much less, defeat ‘The Handsome Half-breed’, Me, this week?”. . .
Aglow with the luminance of the red hot stones, Ms. Miyamoto dips her hand into some ice cold water and pours it onto the red hot stones producing a large amount of steam signifying the hot air being blown Shadowlove’s way by the likes of Howard Black, David Sanchez, and among others who want to fill in their name here?
MS. MIYAMOTO: No, no, no, not quite yet, Howard Black-san. It isn't quite that easy of an answer. It is very important to stress, however, that Shadowlove-san’s emphasis on being “The Handsome Half-breed” isn't entirely based on a phenomena built just around class, privilege, and wealth. Shadowlove-san is like a Rembrandt painting, he is a picture perfect design. He is designed on speed, strength, surprise, adlib and aggression to achieve total domination against weak-minded people like yourself and Mayor Sanchez-san among others. Shadowlove-san has payed very close attention to the nature of society that defines you, Howard Black-san, and you Mayor Sanchez-san, and the many other journeymen that has made their way to the United Championship Infinite looking to live out past-glories and he has identified which features of society that you try to impact most strongly. The only thing that Howard Black-san is telling us by his body language when he is spouting off about his past achievements is that he is providing the viewing audience at home a pretext for ignoring what is happening throughout the United Championship Infinite when hitting the “mute” button on your universal remote controls until he is finished rambling. . .
Shadowlove holds the coconut like a universal remote control to demonstrate to Howard Black what the viewing audience at home are doing when he is cutting a promo or wrestling in the squared-circle. He frantically presses the “mute” button on the coconut in a weak pre-emptive strike to quiet Howard Black, David Sanchez, and among others who wants to fill in their name here? He shakes the coconut, taps the side of the coconut, then tosses the coconut up into the air.
SHADOWLOVE: Howie, in case you haven't heard, this isn't the WCF, this is the UCI. Deserves? Deserve's got nothing to do with this match of ours. There is a wide range of social and contextual factors that impact upon the WCF’s Howard Black and the UCI’s Howard Black capacity to try to manipulate and influence the other top talent in this organization. So what if you stood perpetually on the summit of a World Championship in another organization only to have that rug pulled out from under you and cast aside and held down by talent far better than you? SHIT HAPPENS! Just keep on drinking your Kool-aid, my friend, those so-called Championships that you won, don't mean squat to me. Even if we were back in that old organization, your so-called Championships would still mean “Jack-Shit” to me. You really think that you, or for that matter anyone, has what it takes to make me “tap-out”?. . .
As the steam dissipates and the temperature rises, Shadowlove has been “tapped-out” by the coconut like “Rowdy” Roddy Piper “tapped-out” Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka back in the day on Piper’s Pit.
Ms. Miyamoto snaps her fingers and six Ogala-Lakota-Sioux squaw’s pick-up “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove, three squaws on his left side and three squaws on his right side.
Ms. Miyamoto leads the way out of the Wigwam, being followed by the six Ogala-Lakota-Sioux squaw’s closely from behind carrying Shadowlove.
A close up of Shadowlove’s chiseled fighter's face shows him “winking” towards the viewing audience at home that he completely sold the move.
Ms. Miyamoto snaps her fingers and the six Ogala-Lakota-Sioux squaw’s drops Shadowlove. He bounces off the ground and stands statuesque like a fashion model on a catwalk as if nothing has happened.
Ms. Miyamoto takes her proper place and cradles against Shadowlove's body and caresses his muscular chest with her fingers. She raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic face with her middle finger.
MS. MIYAMOTO: The precipice of your United Championship Infinite’s career, Howard Black-san, is joining the subculture of personalities that are already in this organization that underestimates Shadowlove-san when demonstrating how they try to impinge on and try to influence and manipulation of Shadowlove-san‘s career. You see, behind the scenes in that old organization that we were in, Shadowlove-san, was strongly touted as their next Television Champion. Some will say that he should’ve beaten Tiffany White and some say they he shouldn't have. C'est la vie! There are some here behind the scenes in the United Championship Infinite that would say the same thing about Shadowlove-san as well. Just ask Wentworth Updegraff Jr.-san? C’est la vie, mon ami!. . .
Shadowlove puffs out his chest in an “I'm rubber you're glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you, Howard Black” gesture. He sticks his thumb on his right hand into his mouth, pumping up his left bicep, He sticks his thumb on his left hand into his mouth, pumping up his right bicep. He poses down like “The Heartbreak Kid”, Shawn Michaels.
SHADOWLOVE: Nevertheless, my primary focus remains the same, developing a comprehensive influence through manipulation on the way to remaining one of the most influential wrestlers in the UCI. I am the epitome of every young wrestler in this organization. I provide a framework from which it is possible to understand the impact that “The Handsome Half-breed” will have not only on the other young wrestlers in this organization but also on the hierarchy of this organization as well. I am the only wrestler in the UCI that gives you a true look into the mind of how a real Champion should operate in this organization, with or without a Championship. I play a very critical part in this organization as we know it, I am one of the first wrestlers recruited and one of the primary reasons why the UCI is flourishing. “The Handsome Half-breed” is one of the standard bearers when motivating this organization towards the common goal of making the UCI the greatest organization in all of sports entertainment. . .
Miyamoto reaches inside Shadowlove's black leather trench-coat and removes her 12.9 inch Apple rose gold iPad Pro (product placement). She speaks to the 12.9 inch Apple rose gold iPad Pro (product placement) with her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
MS. MIYAMOTO: SIRI, Dono yō ni hawādo Brexit irai dau, Nasudakku, S & P 500 ni ya~tsu Yunaiteddo senshuken mugen no kabushiki de" dakku" burakkugia wa?. . .
SIRI: Hai, Ms. Miyamoto. Tadachini. Anata no hawādo dau, Nasudakku, S & P 500 ni ya~tsu Yunaiteddo senshuken mugen no kabushiki de" dakku" burakkugia ni wa, saidai 50-pāsento Brexit iraidesu. . .
SIRI starts un-encrypting the encrypted and very “Top-secret” Dow Jones, NASDAQ, and the S & P 500 on her 12.9 inch Apple rose gold iPad Pro (product placement), translates and reads back in English:
SIRI: Your Howard "The Duck" Black gear in the United Championship Infinite stock on the Dow Jones, Nasdaq, S&P 500 is up 50% since Brexit. . .
Ms. Miyamoto slips her 12.9 inch Apple rose gold iPad Pro (product placement) back inside Shadowlove's black leather trench-coat and takes out a rolled up copy of The Wall St. Journal. She starts tapping the rolled up copy of The Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Shadowlove-san has become quite the phenomenon in the United Championship Infinite. Most obviously, bringing a considerable amount of fun with his brand-name entertainment to this organization. And like any kind of artist in the sports entertainment business, Shadowlove-san devotes his time, money, and patience to the time honored tradition of painting a masterpiece of the personification of Howard Black-san by acknowledging that his reputation is not that of a Champion but that of a petulant little “Lost Boy” throwing a temper tantrum because he doesn't get the accolades of being a World Champion like Crow McMorris-san. This characteristic remains the emphasis throughout his entire career and how imperative his reputation is to the viewing audience of the United Championship Infinite and every other organization. In short, Howard Black-san’s career has not been about about identifying or extolling that “special shit" he believes that sets him apart from Shadowlove-san in the position of power and influence in the United Championship Infinite. . .
"PERSONAL JESUS" by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor surround sound system.
"The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove bows his head, raising his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
SHADOWLOVE: Now, now, now, Howie, I know you better than you know yourself. You will try to spend all your time and energies in a particular sense of direction and purpose in trying to blast me about how you are a more established “Superstar” because you were some sort of Champion in some other organization. Blah, blah. . . De-blah, blah, blah. That only gives you the perception of being a “follower” instead of having the perception that is representative of being a Champion. That kind of action only benefits your own best interest. It is fatal for anyone in the sports entertainment business to be seen feathering their own career instead of promoting what is in the best interest of this organization. What that means is that "The Handsome Half-breed” doesn't exactly wrestle within the constraints of any pre-existing rules that are handed down by any General Manager, any other wrestler, and any other organization when reflecting on the norms, the values, and the priorities of the true hierarchy of this organization. . .
Shadowlove starts to "strip" off his black leather trench-coat like a Chippendale's dancer. Spinning the black leather trench-coat around him like a Matador in a bullring, throwing it up into the air, catching it and putting it back on as if nothing has happened.
“HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
Ms. Miyamoto exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around Shadowlove. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses, showing off her incandescent green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, Shadowlove-san, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san is not in the United Championship Infinite to express what is supposed to be the status quo way of doing business like wrestlers like you, Howard Black-san. The reality of what really defines a true wrestler like Shadowlove-san in the sports entertainment business isn't embed in his ancestry, his personal hygiene, or in his skill-set both inside and outside of the squared-circle here in the United Championship Infinite. What makes “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san so sucessfully unique in the sports entertainment business is he doesn't let people tell him how to live, he doesn't let people tell him what he can and cannot do in or out of the squared-circle, he doesn't let people tell him what he can or cannot say. Those are people like you, Howard Black-san, who want to hold him back. Those are people like you, Howard Black-san, that are jealous and secure. Those are people like you, Howard Black-san, that are out to get “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. . .
Shadowlove looks up into the wild blue yonder showing off a fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a “Donald Duck, Daffy Duck, Duck Dynasty” shit-eating grin, seamlessly knowing that the unmanned Predator Drone is still targeting him for termination.
SHADOWLOVE: Howie will draw upon these various principles together when addressing this Match on Overload in Minnesota this week, because that is in his nature, and overwhelming reason why he will fail to defeat “The Handsome Half-breed”. Most importantly perhaps, you might ask yourself, why it takes so long to get to what might be seen as the heart of the matter? Why not? It is very important, probably, most important, for any wrestler to provide a secure foundation before you set out to tell people what to do. Through the power of persuasion and manipulation, I will give the UCI the credibility and the coherence of what “The Handsome Half-breed” approach really is, before I set out to show what being “The Handsome Half-breed” means in the sports entertainment business. . .
The unmanned Predator Drone’s aerial satellite imaging shows the majestic panoramic view of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove pulling down his Crocodile skinned pants, bending over and full mooning the Predator Drone.
Shadowlove grabs his absolutely fabulous great looking pasty white ass with Howard Black written on his ass cheeks. He does a quick impression of Howard Black cutting a promo by opening and closing his pasty white ass cheeks saying, “QUACK!, QUACK!, QUACK!”
Ms. Miyamoto, blinded by Shadowlove’s version of a solar eclipse, raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic face with her middle finger.
MS. MIYAMOTO: This is all more important given the huge degradation that currently challenges you, Howard Black-san, when you come face-to-face with “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san this Sunday Night on Overload. The difference between Shadowlove-san and you, Howard Black-san, can reasonably be said, constitutes all the differences in the Wrestling Championship Federation and the United Championship Infinite. We need someone like Shadowlove-san who not only has the right goals in mind but who also has the right mind-set to mobilize this organization to support those goals. You, Howard Black-san, take the United Championship Infinite and Shadowlove-san too lightly based on a hunch and a whim. Shadowlove-san will build the United Championship Infinite less on unsubstantiated opinions from the likes of you, Howard Black-san, and more on the well-substantiated opinions of that “Living Legend In His Own Mind”, himself, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san!
The cross-hairs from the unmanned Predator Drone’s aerial satellite imaging targeting system hones in on a new target. . . The Howard “The Duck” Black pasty white face doing a cameo in Shadowlove’s promo.
The unmanned, subcontracted by the United Championship Infinite, U.S Air Force MQ-1B Predator Drone fires a Hellfire air-to-surface missile at The Howard “The Duck” Black’s pasty white face.
An aerial satellite image from the Hellfire air-to-surface missile shows the image coming closer and closer, until finally, it has a close-up of the Howard “The Duck” Black’s pasty white face.
BOOM!
An immense and incredibly powerful distinct sound from a Ducati 1198cc Testastretta 11° Dual Spark V-twin world-beating engine can be heard coming to life and echoing through the thick grayish black smoke and soot cloud left by the Hellfire air-to-surface missile.
Coming through the thick grayish black smoke and soot cloud, left by the Hellfire air-to-surface missile, is “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove, with Ms. Miyamoto arms and legs wrapped around his waist like a Black Widow Spider, riding the sophisticatedly carbon fibre and premium Ducati Diavel 1198cc Testastretta 11° Dual Spark V-twin high performance motorcycle, with Marchesini wheels and and slick Zircotec-coated dual exhaust pipes into the sunset.
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND...THE END!
The unmanned Predator Drone’s aerial satellite imaging shows the majestic panoramic view of the sacred Native American Paha Sapa, the Black Hills, has the exact shape of chambers, veins, and arteries from that of the human heart.
The cross-hairs from the unmanned Predator Drone’s aerial satellite imaging targeting system hones in on the true heart of the matter. . .
Your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, stands posing like a fashion model on a catwalk. He’s stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a black leather trench-coat along with Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots.
Shadowlove looks up into the wild blue yonder showing off a fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a shit-eating grin, seamlessly knowing that the unmanned Predator Drone has targeted him for termination.
He runs his fingers through his classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and down his muscular chest and washboard abs and flicks beads of sweat from off his fingers and up at the unmanned Predator Drone in an “I don’t sweat you Howard Black” gesture.
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei” Ms Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, stands cradled next to Shadowlove caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
Her raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses to go along with a Native American Headdress. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin encased in a form-fitting Hot On The Trail Native American Dress with knee-high moccasin boots.
Adding a little naughty flair to this gorgeous earth goddess look and unlocking your primal passion and go native and having no trouble finding someone to share your tepee. Embracing the power, the beauty, and the spirituality of nature with this elegant sleeveless evening dress design. The playful, inviting fringe tops a plunging V neckline with bead detail, showing off her assets.
The long, fringe-fronted skirt provides a peek at her legs while keeping it classy. Even the hottest dress is nothing without the proper accessories. The neckline and belt are accented with beautiful bead work reminiscent of tribal crafts and adding extra color and flirty fun. A delicate earth-tone and a faux-suede treatment finishes this native-inspired look.
Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
MS. MIYAMOTO: There has been a lot of speculation and hyperbole about Shadowlove-san’s ancestry, personal hygiene, and skill-set both inside and outside of the squared-circle here in the United Championship Infinite as of late. Shadowlove-san, be it winning or losing, will always play a very crucial role in the United Championship Infinite by residing not only at the very top of this organization but also maintaining the very sanity of the sports entertainment business. Where three wrestlers like Crow McMorris-san, Howard Black-san, and the self-esteemed Mayor Sancho skirmish over the nuances of the samo he said/she said hurt feeling dynamics over their falling out of who should be the face of the United Championship Infinite, Shadowlove-san shows how a wrestler can reshape the beliefs, the desires, and the priorities of the United Championship Infinite by achieving influence in this organization without having a Championship around his waist. Shadowlove-san, therefore doesn't need to be distinguished by such things as hereditary titles deemed necessarily to win over the hearts and minds, or for that matter, harnessing the energies and passions of the United Championship Infinite. . .
“The Dynamic Duo” make their way to and enter a traditional Wigwam made up of slender withes of willow lashed together with rawhide and set into the ground in a circle, approximately 10 feet in diameter, covered in Buffalo hides which sits at the base of the desecration of Paha Sapa, the Black Hills, Mount Rushmore.
The slender withes of willow were bent over and lashed to form a low domed framework approximately 7 feet high at the center. The pit in the center was about 2 feet in diameter and a foot deep. The floor of the lodge was clean swept dirt, covered with a mat of sweetgrass, soft cedar boughs, sage leaves for comfort and cleanliness, and kept well away from the central pit.
The Inipi Ceremony was designed for the spiritual, mental, and physical healing for those who needed the power and wisdom from The Great Spirit and Mother Earth.
"The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove sitting Indian-style, the wagon burning way and not the taxi driving way. His low dusky voice ringing out fully, with charm and charisma that one can muster, mister:
SHADOWLOVE: Howie, just look at how easy it was for me to manipulate you into this match? All I had to do was use social media to my advantage. You should be thanking me for keeping your name relevant. I mean, look at all that Howard “The Duck” Black gear selling out like hotcakes? Hell, Crow McMorris and the UCI should have a pancake breakfast in my honor before the World Championship Match. Look into it Price! But Howie, you have threatened my livelihood with dire consequences over blind innuendo. That is “es muy malo” for you señor. Your civil disobedience on your supposed march towards the World Championship is a recipe for failure. Not only will you have to expend every considerable ounce of mental and physical resource that you think that you have against me in this match, Howie, but you will have to cash in the ever-increasing mental and physical asset that you have in order to defeat me in this Sunday on Overload. . .
Ms. Miyamoto takes her proper place and cradles against Shadowlove's body and caresses his muscular chest with her fingers. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose, showing off incandescent green eyes on her angelic face.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Shadowlove-san can inspire the United Championship Infinite through his influence and manipulation as an act of articulating what Howard Black-san can and cannot do in the ring. This power of persuasion increases the credibility of Shadowlove-san and the entire United Championship Infinite. In other words, instead of being the self-depleting “Best That Never Was” like Howard Black-san, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san is a self-regenerating brand-name not only here in the United Championship Infinite but also in the sports entertainment business. It is quite remarkable, almost alchemic, that this quality of life makes Shadowlove-san so importantly fascinating not only here in the United Championship Infinite but also in the sports entertainment business. . .
An Ogala-Lakota-Sioux squaw enters the Wigwam carrying a red-hot stone to the pile in the middle of the pit and leaves. A red hot illuminating reddish-orange glow appears on Shadowlove’s chiseled fighter's face. He is drinking ice-cold coconut water from a coconut with a straw and little pink umbrella. Shadowlove takes a quick sip of the ice cold coconut water.
SHADOWLOVE: Since my brand-name centers on the self-regenerating influences and manipulations not only here in the UCI but also in the sports entertainment business, then in order to understand my true value in this organization you will need to focus more on the mental state of Howie Black and take heed in what he has to say and ask yourselves a question, “Does Howie Black have what it takes both mentally and physically to defeat Crow McMorris for the World Championship, much less, defeat ‘The Handsome Half-breed’, Me, this week?”. . .
Aglow with the luminance of the red hot stones, Ms. Miyamoto dips her hand into some ice cold water and pours it onto the red hot stones producing a large amount of steam signifying the hot air being blown Shadowlove’s way by the likes of Howard Black, David Sanchez, and among others who want to fill in their name here?
MS. MIYAMOTO: No, no, no, not quite yet, Howard Black-san. It isn't quite that easy of an answer. It is very important to stress, however, that Shadowlove-san’s emphasis on being “The Handsome Half-breed” isn't entirely based on a phenomena built just around class, privilege, and wealth. Shadowlove-san is like a Rembrandt painting, he is a picture perfect design. He is designed on speed, strength, surprise, adlib and aggression to achieve total domination against weak-minded people like yourself and Mayor Sanchez-san among others. Shadowlove-san has payed very close attention to the nature of society that defines you, Howard Black-san, and you Mayor Sanchez-san, and the many other journeymen that has made their way to the United Championship Infinite looking to live out past-glories and he has identified which features of society that you try to impact most strongly. The only thing that Howard Black-san is telling us by his body language when he is spouting off about his past achievements is that he is providing the viewing audience at home a pretext for ignoring what is happening throughout the United Championship Infinite when hitting the “mute” button on your universal remote controls until he is finished rambling. . .
Shadowlove holds the coconut like a universal remote control to demonstrate to Howard Black what the viewing audience at home are doing when he is cutting a promo or wrestling in the squared-circle. He frantically presses the “mute” button on the coconut in a weak pre-emptive strike to quiet Howard Black, David Sanchez, and among others who wants to fill in their name here? He shakes the coconut, taps the side of the coconut, then tosses the coconut up into the air.
SHADOWLOVE: Howie, in case you haven't heard, this isn't the WCF, this is the UCI. Deserves? Deserve's got nothing to do with this match of ours. There is a wide range of social and contextual factors that impact upon the WCF’s Howard Black and the UCI’s Howard Black capacity to try to manipulate and influence the other top talent in this organization. So what if you stood perpetually on the summit of a World Championship in another organization only to have that rug pulled out from under you and cast aside and held down by talent far better than you? SHIT HAPPENS! Just keep on drinking your Kool-aid, my friend, those so-called Championships that you won, don't mean squat to me. Even if we were back in that old organization, your so-called Championships would still mean “Jack-Shit” to me. You really think that you, or for that matter anyone, has what it takes to make me “tap-out”?. . .
As the steam dissipates and the temperature rises, Shadowlove has been “tapped-out” by the coconut like “Rowdy” Roddy Piper “tapped-out” Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka back in the day on Piper’s Pit.
Ms. Miyamoto snaps her fingers and six Ogala-Lakota-Sioux squaw’s pick-up “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove, three squaws on his left side and three squaws on his right side.
Ms. Miyamoto leads the way out of the Wigwam, being followed by the six Ogala-Lakota-Sioux squaw’s closely from behind carrying Shadowlove.
A close up of Shadowlove’s chiseled fighter's face shows him “winking” towards the viewing audience at home that he completely sold the move.
Ms. Miyamoto snaps her fingers and the six Ogala-Lakota-Sioux squaw’s drops Shadowlove. He bounces off the ground and stands statuesque like a fashion model on a catwalk as if nothing has happened.
Ms. Miyamoto takes her proper place and cradles against Shadowlove's body and caresses his muscular chest with her fingers. She raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic face with her middle finger.
MS. MIYAMOTO: The precipice of your United Championship Infinite’s career, Howard Black-san, is joining the subculture of personalities that are already in this organization that underestimates Shadowlove-san when demonstrating how they try to impinge on and try to influence and manipulation of Shadowlove-san‘s career. You see, behind the scenes in that old organization that we were in, Shadowlove-san, was strongly touted as their next Television Champion. Some will say that he should’ve beaten Tiffany White and some say they he shouldn't have. C'est la vie! There are some here behind the scenes in the United Championship Infinite that would say the same thing about Shadowlove-san as well. Just ask Wentworth Updegraff Jr.-san? C’est la vie, mon ami!. . .
Shadowlove puffs out his chest in an “I'm rubber you're glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you, Howard Black” gesture. He sticks his thumb on his right hand into his mouth, pumping up his left bicep, He sticks his thumb on his left hand into his mouth, pumping up his right bicep. He poses down like “The Heartbreak Kid”, Shawn Michaels.
SHADOWLOVE: Nevertheless, my primary focus remains the same, developing a comprehensive influence through manipulation on the way to remaining one of the most influential wrestlers in the UCI. I am the epitome of every young wrestler in this organization. I provide a framework from which it is possible to understand the impact that “The Handsome Half-breed” will have not only on the other young wrestlers in this organization but also on the hierarchy of this organization as well. I am the only wrestler in the UCI that gives you a true look into the mind of how a real Champion should operate in this organization, with or without a Championship. I play a very critical part in this organization as we know it, I am one of the first wrestlers recruited and one of the primary reasons why the UCI is flourishing. “The Handsome Half-breed” is one of the standard bearers when motivating this organization towards the common goal of making the UCI the greatest organization in all of sports entertainment. . .
Miyamoto reaches inside Shadowlove's black leather trench-coat and removes her 12.9 inch Apple rose gold iPad Pro (product placement). She speaks to the 12.9 inch Apple rose gold iPad Pro (product placement) with her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
MS. MIYAMOTO: SIRI, Dono yō ni hawādo Brexit irai dau, Nasudakku, S & P 500 ni ya~tsu Yunaiteddo senshuken mugen no kabushiki de" dakku" burakkugia wa?. . .
SIRI: Hai, Ms. Miyamoto. Tadachini. Anata no hawādo dau, Nasudakku, S & P 500 ni ya~tsu Yunaiteddo senshuken mugen no kabushiki de" dakku" burakkugia ni wa, saidai 50-pāsento Brexit iraidesu. . .
SIRI starts un-encrypting the encrypted and very “Top-secret” Dow Jones, NASDAQ, and the S & P 500 on her 12.9 inch Apple rose gold iPad Pro (product placement), translates and reads back in English:
SIRI: Your Howard "The Duck" Black gear in the United Championship Infinite stock on the Dow Jones, Nasdaq, S&P 500 is up 50% since Brexit. . .
Ms. Miyamoto slips her 12.9 inch Apple rose gold iPad Pro (product placement) back inside Shadowlove's black leather trench-coat and takes out a rolled up copy of The Wall St. Journal. She starts tapping the rolled up copy of The Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Shadowlove-san has become quite the phenomenon in the United Championship Infinite. Most obviously, bringing a considerable amount of fun with his brand-name entertainment to this organization. And like any kind of artist in the sports entertainment business, Shadowlove-san devotes his time, money, and patience to the time honored tradition of painting a masterpiece of the personification of Howard Black-san by acknowledging that his reputation is not that of a Champion but that of a petulant little “Lost Boy” throwing a temper tantrum because he doesn't get the accolades of being a World Champion like Crow McMorris-san. This characteristic remains the emphasis throughout his entire career and how imperative his reputation is to the viewing audience of the United Championship Infinite and every other organization. In short, Howard Black-san’s career has not been about about identifying or extolling that “special shit" he believes that sets him apart from Shadowlove-san in the position of power and influence in the United Championship Infinite. . .
"PERSONAL JESUS" by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor surround sound system.
"The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove bows his head, raising his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
SHADOWLOVE: Now, now, now, Howie, I know you better than you know yourself. You will try to spend all your time and energies in a particular sense of direction and purpose in trying to blast me about how you are a more established “Superstar” because you were some sort of Champion in some other organization. Blah, blah. . . De-blah, blah, blah. That only gives you the perception of being a “follower” instead of having the perception that is representative of being a Champion. That kind of action only benefits your own best interest. It is fatal for anyone in the sports entertainment business to be seen feathering their own career instead of promoting what is in the best interest of this organization. What that means is that "The Handsome Half-breed” doesn't exactly wrestle within the constraints of any pre-existing rules that are handed down by any General Manager, any other wrestler, and any other organization when reflecting on the norms, the values, and the priorities of the true hierarchy of this organization. . .
Shadowlove starts to "strip" off his black leather trench-coat like a Chippendale's dancer. Spinning the black leather trench-coat around him like a Matador in a bullring, throwing it up into the air, catching it and putting it back on as if nothing has happened.
“HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
Ms. Miyamoto exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around Shadowlove. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses, showing off her incandescent green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, Shadowlove-san, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san is not in the United Championship Infinite to express what is supposed to be the status quo way of doing business like wrestlers like you, Howard Black-san. The reality of what really defines a true wrestler like Shadowlove-san in the sports entertainment business isn't embed in his ancestry, his personal hygiene, or in his skill-set both inside and outside of the squared-circle here in the United Championship Infinite. What makes “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san so sucessfully unique in the sports entertainment business is he doesn't let people tell him how to live, he doesn't let people tell him what he can and cannot do in or out of the squared-circle, he doesn't let people tell him what he can or cannot say. Those are people like you, Howard Black-san, who want to hold him back. Those are people like you, Howard Black-san, that are jealous and secure. Those are people like you, Howard Black-san, that are out to get “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. . .
Shadowlove looks up into the wild blue yonder showing off a fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a “Donald Duck, Daffy Duck, Duck Dynasty” shit-eating grin, seamlessly knowing that the unmanned Predator Drone is still targeting him for termination.
SHADOWLOVE: Howie will draw upon these various principles together when addressing this Match on Overload in Minnesota this week, because that is in his nature, and overwhelming reason why he will fail to defeat “The Handsome Half-breed”. Most importantly perhaps, you might ask yourself, why it takes so long to get to what might be seen as the heart of the matter? Why not? It is very important, probably, most important, for any wrestler to provide a secure foundation before you set out to tell people what to do. Through the power of persuasion and manipulation, I will give the UCI the credibility and the coherence of what “The Handsome Half-breed” approach really is, before I set out to show what being “The Handsome Half-breed” means in the sports entertainment business. . .
The unmanned Predator Drone’s aerial satellite imaging shows the majestic panoramic view of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove pulling down his Crocodile skinned pants, bending over and full mooning the Predator Drone.
Shadowlove grabs his absolutely fabulous great looking pasty white ass with Howard Black written on his ass cheeks. He does a quick impression of Howard Black cutting a promo by opening and closing his pasty white ass cheeks saying, “QUACK!, QUACK!, QUACK!”
Ms. Miyamoto, blinded by Shadowlove’s version of a solar eclipse, raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic face with her middle finger.
MS. MIYAMOTO: This is all more important given the huge degradation that currently challenges you, Howard Black-san, when you come face-to-face with “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san this Sunday Night on Overload. The difference between Shadowlove-san and you, Howard Black-san, can reasonably be said, constitutes all the differences in the Wrestling Championship Federation and the United Championship Infinite. We need someone like Shadowlove-san who not only has the right goals in mind but who also has the right mind-set to mobilize this organization to support those goals. You, Howard Black-san, take the United Championship Infinite and Shadowlove-san too lightly based on a hunch and a whim. Shadowlove-san will build the United Championship Infinite less on unsubstantiated opinions from the likes of you, Howard Black-san, and more on the well-substantiated opinions of that “Living Legend In His Own Mind”, himself, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san!
The cross-hairs from the unmanned Predator Drone’s aerial satellite imaging targeting system hones in on a new target. . . The Howard “The Duck” Black pasty white face doing a cameo in Shadowlove’s promo.
The unmanned, subcontracted by the United Championship Infinite, U.S Air Force MQ-1B Predator Drone fires a Hellfire air-to-surface missile at The Howard “The Duck” Black’s pasty white face.
An aerial satellite image from the Hellfire air-to-surface missile shows the image coming closer and closer, until finally, it has a close-up of the Howard “The Duck” Black’s pasty white face.
BOOM!
An immense and incredibly powerful distinct sound from a Ducati 1198cc Testastretta 11° Dual Spark V-twin world-beating engine can be heard coming to life and echoing through the thick grayish black smoke and soot cloud left by the Hellfire air-to-surface missile.
Coming through the thick grayish black smoke and soot cloud, left by the Hellfire air-to-surface missile, is “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove, with Ms. Miyamoto arms and legs wrapped around his waist like a Black Widow Spider, riding the sophisticatedly carbon fibre and premium Ducati Diavel 1198cc Testastretta 11° Dual Spark V-twin high performance motorcycle, with Marchesini wheels and and slick Zircotec-coated dual exhaust pipes into the sunset.
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND...THE END!
