Post by Derrick Vayden on Sept 26, 2019 19:29:12 GMT -6
Greetings, people of UCI. You don't know me, but I know you. My name is Derrick Vayden and I am a member of the team that will spoil your little reunion show.
I am a proud member of Team AW. A dream team. A who's who of Action Wrestling's finest. We have a monster, a hulking brute of a man in Bobby Rage. We have the United States champion, mayhaps an even bigger threat than Rage in Walter. You got me, the current and longest reigning cruiserweight champion. One of the fastest rising stars this business has to offer, Ms. All-In, Lissie Hope! And, of course, a certifiable freak, the world FUCKING champ himself... Dandy DiVito!
If you follow Action Wrestling (which, why shouldn't you?), that list of names should either make you cream your jeans, or shit in them... depending on which side of the battle lines you're on.
It's a war, ladies! It's a goddamn Civil War!
----
Derrick Vayden and Amy Burns are seen walking through the busy Chicago streets. The pair seemed to be drawing annoyed looks from everyone they passed by. Neither one of them could figure out why...
Except maybe Vayden's Green Bay Packers t-shirt.
"Why the hell are you wearing that here?"
"Well, I'm already the enemy here right now. Why not embrace it?"
"Don't you think there are some dudes who will feel just a little salty towards someone like you?"
"Hey, it ain't my fault my team is better than theirs. That goes for this Civil War match, too."
"Is that all you're going to talk about on this trip?"
"Hell yeah. It's the only reason I'm in this trash pit of a city."
Amy sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Where are we going anyway?"
They kept walking through the streets. Block by block, mile by mile, it seemed to go on forever. Amy wondered if they were ever going to stop until they finally reached an old, run down building. As they approached it, Vayden held his arm out to stop Amy in her tracks.
"What the hell, dude??"
"We're here."
Amy turned and looked at the decrepit building.
"Why? What's so special about this place?"
Derrick pushed the door open. The door made a harsh creaking sound as it swung open. The two entered the building, giving Amy instant chills.
"This place is creepy."
"Yep. And this is where the show is going to be."
"You cannot be serious..."
"I am. See, UCI wasn't polished like Action is. They were grunge, underground. So they wanted to look the part, putting on shows in a shitty warehouse like this."
"I'm... starting to see why it closed."
----
It's funny. I see the list of opponents we have to face in this match and I start to laugh. You look at this list and what do you see? You see a bunch of names who couldn't keep UCI afloat. You see a bunch of names who couldn't cut it in Action Wrestling either. Fausse loses every match she's in, Alex Richards gets shot after shot at the heavyweight title and fails time after time. Andre Holmes was in and out like a ghost. The only Bishop anyone remembers in this place is Karma.
Oh, and how could I forget Zombie McMorris. How fitting that our paths finally cross after I shatter your cruiserweight championship record? Congrats on actually making a splash in that place, but I'm happy to be the one to erase you from the record books, dude. Just like how it will be my honor to erase this sorry company from the map.
You see, gentlemen (and lady), I've already been taking your guys out. Bolas de Arana, member him? Yeah, me neither. Point is, I beat him. Kyle "Champion" Cameron? I made that nickname of his into a lie when I beat him to become the undisputed cruiserweight champion. Up next is all y'all. And I swear you all will be just as easy.
But for now, let me focus on your biggest threat, figuratively and literally, Alex Richards. We're cool, man. I got nothing against you, but we need to face facts man. You may have been hot shit in UCI... but AW just isn't your place. You have been handed plenty of opportunities. The last big prize you won was some other dude's jewelry against another irrelevant blast from the past. You're the past, brother. I'm the present, the future. Time to step away, dude. Hand the keys over to the young guns and ride off into the sunset.
----
Amy kicked an old beer can as they entered the old building. The can went rolling, making loud clanging noises as it rolled through the warehouse and echoing off of the metal walls. It finally stopped when it collided with a rusted ring post near the middle of the place.
"Check it out."
Vayden jumped up on the ring apron and entered. Dust went flying in all directions from the ring ropes as they were disturbed after seemingly years of no disruption.
Amy coughed and covered her face as she climbed up onto the apron, trying to keep the invading dust and dirt away. Derrick held the ropes open for her, but ended up falling backward out of the ring as the rope he was sitting on snapped.
----
Oh, but this is a different kind of war. Once the opposition has been eliminated, we are encouraged to turn on one another until there is but one left standing. So that means this dream team that is Team AW will have to turn on one another. At first glance, this would seem like a difficult thing to come to terms with... Banding together for a common goal, building up team chemistry, and emerging triumphant over the common enemy... only to turn on one another for the sake of ultimate victory.
But, at least to me, I face no difficulty in taking down each and every one of my so-called teammates. Every one of them has been a pain in the ass in one way or another, so I know of no reason why I should show mercy to any of them.
----
"Great going, Slick. You okay?"
"Yep..."
Vayden got up and slid back into the ring, dusting himself off as he stood up.
"You hurt at all?"
"Just my pride."
"I highly doubt that. So, what am I 'checking out'?"
"C'mon, Amy. Breathe it in!"
"I'd much rather not."
"You mean to tell me you don't see the history surrounding us at this very moment??"
"All I see is dust, rat shit, and sadness."
----
Let's start from the top, shall we? Dandy DiVito, the world champion himself. See, it's pretty funny, to call you that... the world champ. Your meteoric rise was impressive and entertaining to watch. But I remember back when you were the US champ. It feels so long ago but I remember it well... do you?
April 28th, the Havoc Rumble. You had a phenomenal showing, lasting for well over an hour. Quite impressive, I have to say. But there was one person who got the better of you. One man who literally brought you to your knees.
It was me, Dandy. Sure, I didn't do so well in the Rumble. But that was one of the most important nights in my career. Me kicking you in your Lil' Dandys may have been the only highlight of the match for me, but it shot me into the sky. Yeah, your world title win is impressive, but if I were you... I'd be more proud to be the catalyst to my ascension.
It's great that you've reached the mountain top, Dandy boy. But have you realized that you really haven't gone anywhere? I mean, you're STILL fighting Sam Kidsgrove. You need to need to move on, man.
Unless, of course, you can't... Maybe you're too scared to move on to real opponents. Maybe you're comfortable with beating Kids day in and day out until one of you finally kill each other, I don't know. But what I do know is you're not winning here, brother. How do I know that? Well, Kidsgrove ain't in the match.
----
"That's because that's all it is!"
"What?"
"UCI was nothing and still is nothing. This old, dingy, disgusting warehouse is the perfect symbol. It's the decrepit ruins of a building that wasn't even good, to begin with. It's embarrassing. I lose faith in humanity every time I think about anyone actually enjoying the shit this place had to offer."
"So... Why are you a part of this show if you hate this place so much?"
----
Lissie Hope... Lissie motherfucking Hope. You have been a thorn in my side ever since I stepped foot in Action Wrestling. You've beaten me, annoyed the ever-living shit out of me, and took the All-In briefcase from me.
Like it or not, Lissie, our careers are so intertwined it hurts. We came in together, I had my first match against you. We won championships around the same time.
Oh... Wait.
Granted, you won the All-In briefcase. I congratulate you on that. But let's remember who won a title first between us. You've had plenty of shots but you never could capitalize on them. Meanwhile, I've made the most of mine. Just like how I'm going to take advantage in this match, beat those UCI hasbeens, beat the rest of our team, and beat *you* to become the sole survivor.
See, Lissie, while our careers started on the same path, we've also taken some separate paths to get to where we are now. I went off on my own to improve my craft while you ran off and hid behind those royal wannabes in the Royal Family. Y'all thought you were better than everyone else yet rarely won. You fizzled out without winning anything of note.
Something tells me your singles career will have the same result. That little briefcase you have? You're going to fail. You're going to cash in, get thumped by DiVito or whoever is holding the belt at that time, then go crawling back to whoever you're fucking that week. Just like the last poor soul who held that thing before you. You're no Lockhart, you're no Holiday...
You're not even a Vayden, someone you swear up and down is below you.
----
"I have no interest in being associated with UTI. But... I am overjoyed at the prospect of finally putting an end to this place. When I think about taking Alex Richards to Dick Kick City, leaving an imprint of my knee on Kevin Bishop's face, or making Erin Fausse tap out, I just get a huge smile on my face."
"...Do you have some kind of weird fetish I don't know about?"
"Yes. But this ain't it."
"Okay, one thing at a time. Why do you care so much about tearing them down?"
"Because I've been there. I've been one to dwell on the past for far too long. Hell, I first got into this business because of shit I went through in the past. These guys are clinging to the glory of a bygone era. For whatever reason, they can't let go. UCI died long ago yet people involved still talk about it. Now this ridiculous reunion show is a thing.
"I was able to let go of my past and became a better wrestler for it. Once I let go, focused on what's ahead of me rather than behind, I started winning. I won championships, I beat people I had no right to beat. I learned that the hard way. Now it's time for me to pass on what I've learned to these guys."
----
Bobby Rage, the certified meathead of Team AW! Let me be entirely honest with you, dude. You're only here to fill space. Andre Holmes tossed himself in and the higher-ups had to scramble to find a fifth man and for Team AW and they had to settle for you.
You may be big, you may be scary, but you're also the weakest link of our team. Lissie, Ms. All-In. Walter, US champ and one scary motherfucker. Me, longest-reigning cruiserweight champ. DiVito, world fucking champion. But you? You haven't done shit besides sticking your nose into everyone else's business.
Oh, yeah, big man. Don't think for a second I forgot about what happened at Uprising. I was fingertips away from winning the All-In briefcase when you had to barge in and fuck me over. Ever since I've wanted to get my hands on you and humble your ass. Imagine the humiliation you'll feel when you get shown up by a cruiserweight. Big, scary Bobby Rage gets his ass handed to him by one of those flippy shit kids.
So that's why, despite you being absolutely worthless to our team, I'm overjoyed that you're in the match. Because, if you happen to make it to the end, I get my chance to shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll be brushing the sole of my boot in the morning.
Bobby, buddy. You've been allowing your daddy to order you around, decide what to do and who to go after for you. What kind of real man does that?
----
Amy remained silent, letting her boyfriend's words sink in. As she did so, she looked around the abandoned warehouse. Suddenly, something clicked in her mind.
"Wait, I thought you said this is where the show is gonna be."
"Hm?"
"You said the show is going to be here. Why does it look so run down? Shouldn't it be fixed up for the show?"
"Oh, no. I didn't mean it's literally gonna be here."
"...What?"
"I said that to graft the state of UCI to this trashy warehouse. This place may have been young and new at one point, but it was never pretty or fancy. And now, as it was left to rot, it's gotten worse. Much worse. Nobody should care about it anymore. It should just be left to fall into ruin. Yet, for no logical reason, someone decided it's still worth the upkeep, so it's still here.
"The building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. This place is going to fall, the real warehouse is going to fall. All of UCI is going to fall... Once and for all."
----
Walter, my man. Honestly, you've never done anything wrong to me. Our paths have never crossed, you haven't taken out someone I care about, none of that. My problem with you is that you have something I want. That US title over your shoulder? I want that.
So, now that we're finally in the same space, I have the opportunity to show you how deserving I am of a shot at your title by beating you. You may be some kind of Frankenstein's Monster but I know you can be defeated. It's happened before.
So here's what's gonna happen. You, me, and the rest of Team AW are going to bury these UCI guys and piss on their graves. Then we're going to fight. I'm going to beat you. Then, down the line when I decide to give up my cruiserweight title, I'll beat you again.
But until then, I'll settle with kicking your ass here at Civil War. I've dealt with so-called monsters like you before and came out victorious on the other side. So it really wouldn't be considered an upset when I beat you too.
Oh man, let's face it. You're too slow and dumb to even make it to the free for all. Maybe next time, big guy.
----
"Do you really have to be so dramatic about all this?"
"Yes, I'm getting into the spirit! UCI was all about drama and all that crazy shit! I need to be dramatic, I need to kill someone. I need to acquire over-the-top superpowers!"
"Jesus Christ..."
"Right? It's ridiculous."
"And that's legal?"
"Look, I have no idea. I don't think anyone got serious time for it so I assume not."
"Just... Please don't stab anyone."
"Fuck that. If anything I'm using a cannon! Blast those fuckers out of their shoes!"
"You're scaring me, dude."
"Perfect! That means I'm ready."
Vayden walked over to the corner and stepped up to the middle rope, throwing his arms into the air in mocking celebration...
Until the turnbuckle gave out on him, sending him sprawling backward once again...
"You won't ever learn, will you?"
----
So, in closing... Huge congratulations to everyone at United Championship Infinite for a successful reunion show. And I feel like I should apologize for spoiling the heartwarming finale... But I'm not going to. Because I feel the need to snuff out this UCI flame once and for all. And this is the time to do it. It's done. It's over, guys. Its time to let go of the past and embrace the future.
Show me your war face!
FIN
