Two Gents Reunion Tour '95 -Part 2.Together Again
Sept 26, 2019 12:30:30 GMT -6
Kevin Bishop and L Verez {L-7} like this
Post by Teo del Sol on Sept 26, 2019 12:30:30 GMT -6
Times were hard on the gent front. The duo had been heard naught a peep from since their disbanding. The world was thrown into inexorable chaos without the plucky vigor of their two most celebrated heroes. For indeed, a world without gentlemanliness is no world worth living in! Villains, vagabonds, and other non-V ne’er do wells had their proverbial way with the world in their absence, even casting down the very company that spawned them. And now, with a reunion on the horizon, and the honor, dignity, the very reputation of UCI at stake, there could be only one recourse. The long-demanded, sought after, and honestly overdue of the two men who revolutionized the UCI Tag team division. Yes, indeed, it is time for a return to form for two of the greatest to ever don the spandex, to once again cast the die of fate into the realm of the unknown, to call upon that which has long lain dormant! It is time for the return of the two gen-
Andre Jenson: Oy Teo, are you monologuin’ again?
The voice comes from one of the two eponymous Gents, who stand fast in their long-since established secret lair, the one and only Gent Cave™! The gold masked Teo del Sol looks happily at the man with the twenty-sided heart and offers the gentlemanly smile that has long been the duo’s trademark.
Teo del Sol: What? I wanted the grand return to be spectacular.
Jenson: Speaking of spectacles, I am kind of surprised to see the old white and gold back. I was expecting you to bring the glasses.
Teo del Sol: Glasses? Why, are we having a drink?
Jenson is of course referring to the fact that the Teo del Sol that stands next to him is of the masked variety. Of course the two gents always comprised the masked Teo, so this should be completely expected.
Jenson: You’re damn right we’re having a drink. To celebrate our ‘95 reunion tour, I bought us a fine vintage champagne.
The luchador examines the label on the bottle, eyeing it carefully with a look of sheer curiosity.
Teo del Sol: Oh right! I think I’ve heard of this; it came from a famous vintner, although I’ve heard that there’s another brand from his son. They say his kid’s grove is better.
Jenson: Kid’s grove? Never heard of him.
Teo del Sol: Probably not important. But I’ll gladly drink to a reunion, and an assured victory!
Jenson: Indeed! And next week, we will finally have our revenge on the Moustache brothers after we dispatch culture shock.
Teo del Sol: Come again?
Jenson: After we are named the #1 contenders of course!
Teo del Sol: Aaaaactually, that’s not how this works. We’re on a reunion tour, son, not a full fledged revival.
Jenson: Wait, just one match?
Teo del Sol: That’s what it said on the contract.
Jenson: Well bloody hell, we better make it a banger then!
Teo del Sol: I couldn’t have said it better myself! A toast!
The masked luchador begins shaking the champagne bottle violently, and within a few seconds an errant projectile is launching around the room at speeds that would be considered dangerous to lesser men.
Jenson: I knew it was a good idea to buy those rubberized walls.
Teo del Sol: Especially for that zero gravity shooting star press training, why I-
As Teo speaks, the cork, mere instants from being launched around the room with complete abandon for safety, collides with the very expensive champagne bottle, resulting in a shower of glass and golden liquid.
Jenson: In hindsight that must be considered rather predictable.
Teo del Sol: Bah, forget hindsight, nothing we do is predictable!
Jenson: Hear hear!
Teo del Sol: Is it time we turn our attention on our opponents, the...well I was looking for an adjective for Culture Shock but all I could come up with was “redundant”.
Jenson: Useless fools? Dead Weight? Wastes of a contract?
Teo del Sol: All true, but none of those are adjectives.
Jenson: Blast, you’re right.
Teo del Sol: No, to truly examine Culture Shock on a level that would be both fitting for their character but also exposing the inherent weaknesses therein, I must go back in time!
Jenson: I’ll get the DeLorean.
Teo del Sol: No no, not that! (see me later) I’m talking about the mere fact that the Two Gents Reunion Tour 95 has been tasked once again with the disposal of two ego-driven buffoons who have made the grave error of underestimating us.
Jenson: Tell it like it is, son!
Teo del Sol: I’ll consider it a culture SHOCK if these two are even able to last more than a few minutes against the full and unbridled fury of the Two Gents. For when we unleash our massive arsenal of specially designed moves, the likes of which have been kept secret for centuries!
Jenson: Held by the sages and masters of Kem!
Teo del Sol: There can be no chance, no opportunity, indeed not even a shred of possibility that men as weak, as worn down, and as impotent as Culture Shock will be able to withstand the onslaught! The beatdown! The assault that awaits them!
We will unleash a flurry of blows, a combination of strikes, a smorgasbord of suplexes that will be sung of in legend for years to come, and the only recourse, the only reward for our unlucky opponents is the mere fact, the knowledge that they will indeed be remembered for their suffering. For when the careers of the Two Gents, UCI’s most heroic pairing, who fought nobly and without hesitation at each and every opportunity is examined...There indeed, at the bottom of a page, in a near missable footnote will be the names of Corey Bull and Oblivion! The final unfortunate foes who made that same oft-repeated mistake yet again, and chose to step into the ring with the Two Gents!
Jenson: Comeback tour ‘95!
To punctuate the series of statements, Teo expertly tosses the half-shattered bottle into the air, watching it through masked eyes. With a careful and measured motion, he turns his entire body, launching a perfect kick into the air. He pauses in place as the kick reaches it’s maximum height, holding his foot still as the end of the bottle lands perfectly balanced onto his outstretched limb.
Teo del Sol: You see, unlike our opponents, our time has not been spent merely indulging in the all-too tempting lifestyle of the hiatus. Each and every day that has passed we have been honing our already sharp skills, engaging in feats of strength and stamina to test the very limits of human endurance!
Our dear Oblivion would tout that he is beyond the limits of the mere human, and to that I welcome his boast. Man, beast, or monster, a true gent never cowers when faced with so monstrous a foe. Indeed, Oblivion, despite your great size and massive frame, you will have no advantage against us! For mere size belies an inherent weakness, after all. The man who is naturally large need not improve himself, and thus he enjoys the benefits of nature’s gifts with none of the work.
So it is with you, Oblivion! You have relied for so long on your massive frame, your intimidating stature, the idea that your mere presence is enough to intimidate even the most staunch of your victims. But we know all too well the fate that awaits you, my monster. For when you try to intimidate a gent, you are signing your own death warrant! You are turning yourself over to the winds of fate and welcoming a reckoning reserved for only the most foul of creatures!
Jenson: And dwarves! And politicians! And dwarven politicians!
Teo del Sol: For you see, Oblivion, it is no pair of rank amateurs which stand across from you in this ring! Our skills at dealing with monsters are among the greatest seen upon this planet. You think of yourself as an unstoppable force, an immovable object, but I see only a pussycat. One who is long overdue to have his teeth knocked out! And then, maybe finally they’ll let you in at the Old Monster’s home.
Jenson: You and Dracula sharing liquid peas!
Teo del Sol: But maybe, just maybe Oblivion is hoping that he can rely on his tag team partner, that perhaps the depravity of one so low as Corey B. can make up for the fact that Oblivion belongs more at an early bird special than in a match with the Two Gents!
Jenson: Give it to Corey! Take that bull by the horns!
Teo del Sol: Well said sir! And to Corey I must voice my open disappointment and confusion at the perpetual identity crisis that you have been carrying on, the turgid passion play you carry about every week! Simultaneously pandering to a fanbase who seeks only to witness violence while trying to maintain a facade as a good guy!
The truth is though, that you’re not a good guy, and you’re not a bad guy, you’re just...a guy. A guy with a propensity for swinging anything he can get his hands on to make up for the fact that his most well-honed skill in the ring is that of a punching bag!
Look, I am no stranger to hardcore stipulations, but let me make something perfectly clear. Whenever I encounter someone who touts themselves as a hardcore expert, as someone to whom the deathmatch is a second home, it is often simply a distraction, a way to draw attention from the fact that they never actually learned sufficient skill in the ring.
Weapons are a crutch, after all!
Jenson: And crutches are weapons!
Teo del Sol: And it is no brave man who must rely on the solid clang of steel on skull, no indeed! And not only that, Corey, but you force yourself to take the shortcut that is hardcore wrestling despite the fact that your natural gifts should be more than enough to trounce anyone given proper training! You’re a monster of a man if we’re talking strictly in terms of size, but if we look at your character, you’d have to put on ten pounds to match up to a mouse!
But then again, our match is falls count anywhere, and that means the rule book is thrown out the window, yes? Therefore you should have the advantage, yes?
A loud, game-show esque buzzer echoes throughout the Gent Cave™
Teo del Sol: Oh no, Mr. Bull, for you must simply do the math! If you require weapons to be on even footing with either myself or fellow Gent Jenson...then if we both have weapons, the Gents will still be just as far ahead of you!
The bottom line is that Culture Shock is relying heavily on the concept of intimidation, that the gents have been placed in a dangerous match with a pair of monstrous lunatics!
But you see, the Gents do not do fear. The Gents do not back down from a challenge, and we certainly do not see this as anything more than an opportunity.
Because the Two Gents are and Always have been the heroes that the UCI Tag Team division needed, and we will always be there for it, happy to slay any monsters that cross our paths!
So buckle in, boys, because you’re about to see exactly what it means to be a gent.
Jenson reaches into his pocket and retrieves a Microphone with a 20-sided die covering the receiver, while Teo retrieves a microphone with a small Lucha mask on the end. In unison they hold them out and drop them on the floor of the Gent cave before turning around with a fist bump as they depart for the UCI reunion, reunited for one last ride.
Andre Jenson: Oy Teo, are you monologuin’ again?
The voice comes from one of the two eponymous Gents, who stand fast in their long-since established secret lair, the one and only Gent Cave™! The gold masked Teo del Sol looks happily at the man with the twenty-sided heart and offers the gentlemanly smile that has long been the duo’s trademark.
Teo del Sol: What? I wanted the grand return to be spectacular.
Jenson: Speaking of spectacles, I am kind of surprised to see the old white and gold back. I was expecting you to bring the glasses.
Teo del Sol: Glasses? Why, are we having a drink?
Jenson is of course referring to the fact that the Teo del Sol that stands next to him is of the masked variety. Of course the two gents always comprised the masked Teo, so this should be completely expected.
Jenson: You’re damn right we’re having a drink. To celebrate our ‘95 reunion tour, I bought us a fine vintage champagne.
The luchador examines the label on the bottle, eyeing it carefully with a look of sheer curiosity.
Teo del Sol: Oh right! I think I’ve heard of this; it came from a famous vintner, although I’ve heard that there’s another brand from his son. They say his kid’s grove is better.
Jenson: Kid’s grove? Never heard of him.
Teo del Sol: Probably not important. But I’ll gladly drink to a reunion, and an assured victory!
Jenson: Indeed! And next week, we will finally have our revenge on the Moustache brothers after we dispatch culture shock.
Teo del Sol: Come again?
Jenson: After we are named the #1 contenders of course!
Teo del Sol: Aaaaactually, that’s not how this works. We’re on a reunion tour, son, not a full fledged revival.
Jenson: Wait, just one match?
Teo del Sol: That’s what it said on the contract.
Jenson: Well bloody hell, we better make it a banger then!
Teo del Sol: I couldn’t have said it better myself! A toast!
The masked luchador begins shaking the champagne bottle violently, and within a few seconds an errant projectile is launching around the room at speeds that would be considered dangerous to lesser men.
Jenson: I knew it was a good idea to buy those rubberized walls.
Teo del Sol: Especially for that zero gravity shooting star press training, why I-
As Teo speaks, the cork, mere instants from being launched around the room with complete abandon for safety, collides with the very expensive champagne bottle, resulting in a shower of glass and golden liquid.
Jenson: In hindsight that must be considered rather predictable.
Teo del Sol: Bah, forget hindsight, nothing we do is predictable!
Jenson: Hear hear!
Teo del Sol: Is it time we turn our attention on our opponents, the...well I was looking for an adjective for Culture Shock but all I could come up with was “redundant”.
Jenson: Useless fools? Dead Weight? Wastes of a contract?
Teo del Sol: All true, but none of those are adjectives.
Jenson: Blast, you’re right.
Teo del Sol: No, to truly examine Culture Shock on a level that would be both fitting for their character but also exposing the inherent weaknesses therein, I must go back in time!
Jenson: I’ll get the DeLorean.
Teo del Sol: No no, not that! (see me later) I’m talking about the mere fact that the Two Gents Reunion Tour 95 has been tasked once again with the disposal of two ego-driven buffoons who have made the grave error of underestimating us.
Jenson: Tell it like it is, son!
Teo del Sol: I’ll consider it a culture SHOCK if these two are even able to last more than a few minutes against the full and unbridled fury of the Two Gents. For when we unleash our massive arsenal of specially designed moves, the likes of which have been kept secret for centuries!
Jenson: Held by the sages and masters of Kem!
Teo del Sol: There can be no chance, no opportunity, indeed not even a shred of possibility that men as weak, as worn down, and as impotent as Culture Shock will be able to withstand the onslaught! The beatdown! The assault that awaits them!
We will unleash a flurry of blows, a combination of strikes, a smorgasbord of suplexes that will be sung of in legend for years to come, and the only recourse, the only reward for our unlucky opponents is the mere fact, the knowledge that they will indeed be remembered for their suffering. For when the careers of the Two Gents, UCI’s most heroic pairing, who fought nobly and without hesitation at each and every opportunity is examined...There indeed, at the bottom of a page, in a near missable footnote will be the names of Corey Bull and Oblivion! The final unfortunate foes who made that same oft-repeated mistake yet again, and chose to step into the ring with the Two Gents!
Jenson: Comeback tour ‘95!
To punctuate the series of statements, Teo expertly tosses the half-shattered bottle into the air, watching it through masked eyes. With a careful and measured motion, he turns his entire body, launching a perfect kick into the air. He pauses in place as the kick reaches it’s maximum height, holding his foot still as the end of the bottle lands perfectly balanced onto his outstretched limb.
Teo del Sol: You see, unlike our opponents, our time has not been spent merely indulging in the all-too tempting lifestyle of the hiatus. Each and every day that has passed we have been honing our already sharp skills, engaging in feats of strength and stamina to test the very limits of human endurance!
Our dear Oblivion would tout that he is beyond the limits of the mere human, and to that I welcome his boast. Man, beast, or monster, a true gent never cowers when faced with so monstrous a foe. Indeed, Oblivion, despite your great size and massive frame, you will have no advantage against us! For mere size belies an inherent weakness, after all. The man who is naturally large need not improve himself, and thus he enjoys the benefits of nature’s gifts with none of the work.
So it is with you, Oblivion! You have relied for so long on your massive frame, your intimidating stature, the idea that your mere presence is enough to intimidate even the most staunch of your victims. But we know all too well the fate that awaits you, my monster. For when you try to intimidate a gent, you are signing your own death warrant! You are turning yourself over to the winds of fate and welcoming a reckoning reserved for only the most foul of creatures!
Jenson: And dwarves! And politicians! And dwarven politicians!
Teo del Sol: For you see, Oblivion, it is no pair of rank amateurs which stand across from you in this ring! Our skills at dealing with monsters are among the greatest seen upon this planet. You think of yourself as an unstoppable force, an immovable object, but I see only a pussycat. One who is long overdue to have his teeth knocked out! And then, maybe finally they’ll let you in at the Old Monster’s home.
Jenson: You and Dracula sharing liquid peas!
Teo del Sol: But maybe, just maybe Oblivion is hoping that he can rely on his tag team partner, that perhaps the depravity of one so low as Corey B. can make up for the fact that Oblivion belongs more at an early bird special than in a match with the Two Gents!
Jenson: Give it to Corey! Take that bull by the horns!
Teo del Sol: Well said sir! And to Corey I must voice my open disappointment and confusion at the perpetual identity crisis that you have been carrying on, the turgid passion play you carry about every week! Simultaneously pandering to a fanbase who seeks only to witness violence while trying to maintain a facade as a good guy!
The truth is though, that you’re not a good guy, and you’re not a bad guy, you’re just...a guy. A guy with a propensity for swinging anything he can get his hands on to make up for the fact that his most well-honed skill in the ring is that of a punching bag!
Look, I am no stranger to hardcore stipulations, but let me make something perfectly clear. Whenever I encounter someone who touts themselves as a hardcore expert, as someone to whom the deathmatch is a second home, it is often simply a distraction, a way to draw attention from the fact that they never actually learned sufficient skill in the ring.
Weapons are a crutch, after all!
Jenson: And crutches are weapons!
Teo del Sol: And it is no brave man who must rely on the solid clang of steel on skull, no indeed! And not only that, Corey, but you force yourself to take the shortcut that is hardcore wrestling despite the fact that your natural gifts should be more than enough to trounce anyone given proper training! You’re a monster of a man if we’re talking strictly in terms of size, but if we look at your character, you’d have to put on ten pounds to match up to a mouse!
But then again, our match is falls count anywhere, and that means the rule book is thrown out the window, yes? Therefore you should have the advantage, yes?
A loud, game-show esque buzzer echoes throughout the Gent Cave™
Teo del Sol: Oh no, Mr. Bull, for you must simply do the math! If you require weapons to be on even footing with either myself or fellow Gent Jenson...then if we both have weapons, the Gents will still be just as far ahead of you!
The bottom line is that Culture Shock is relying heavily on the concept of intimidation, that the gents have been placed in a dangerous match with a pair of monstrous lunatics!
But you see, the Gents do not do fear. The Gents do not back down from a challenge, and we certainly do not see this as anything more than an opportunity.
Because the Two Gents are and Always have been the heroes that the UCI Tag Team division needed, and we will always be there for it, happy to slay any monsters that cross our paths!
So buckle in, boys, because you’re about to see exactly what it means to be a gent.
Jenson reaches into his pocket and retrieves a Microphone with a 20-sided die covering the receiver, while Teo retrieves a microphone with a small Lucha mask on the end. In unison they hold them out and drop them on the floor of the Gent cave before turning around with a fist bump as they depart for the UCI reunion, reunited for one last ride.
