Post by SEAMAC on Dec 7, 2017 18:29:56 GMT -6
UCI
Overload
TV Championship
Fatal Four Way
Henry Diderot ( C )
vs.
ZMAC
vs.
Corey Bull
vs.
Payaso Loco
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CHAPTER 1: ZKAST PT 1
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CHAPTER 2: WHAT I TOLD YA’LL
I done did tell ya, UCI. I told you -> Ruby done fuckin told Jew. She told you that Ol’ Z gone be runnin N’ Gunnin -> stunning and stomping out fools left and right until he gets the vengeance that he is out questin’ fo. Now vengeance comes knockin on the devils door and ol’ Z gone answer with a blow torch and an iron. Stick a nail through ya foot as a warning not to come around these parts again. N You all think ol’ Z done stumbled like a little boy who dropped his groceries but ANH-ANH Ol’Z been knockin out fools with a shovel -> turnin bodies into mummies.
* mummies *
bury you bitches in salt cuz you salty.
This has been a long road -> a winding path but it is one of destruction. N’ it all started when ol’ Z fell into a fucking pit within the Earth and he popped out the other side smelling like freedom ( and fish ). Now ol’ Z is back taking names -> creating havoc and is about to set his sights on the TV championship yet again. The king of 3K has come back to take what is his ( spoilers: its all mine ). N’ Hippo D-ROT, I see you there. I done told Jew I like yo style. You and me -> we the same mother fuckin OG but we got different sides to different means. Ol’ Z, he just wants to kill every foo’ he sees and you -> you just want to make it in this business. Well heres a little tip from one Coked Up Mad Man to the Collard Green Monstah ->
YOU. DO. NOT. MAKE. IT. IN. THIS. BUSINESS.
You just survive it.
Me on the other hand, I make it, I break it. I mold it and I recreate it. I mold it in my image and everyone else just gets super fuckin sweaty in the process. That’s gone be you this week son. I know you racked up those wins -> you gotta with that belt. It’s the hardest belt in the U. But between you and me, heavy is the THICK that wears it. I mean, I know you got your bros to carry up the hill but eventually that hill gets too steep to climb, son. That hill gets too steep to climb-> if’n you know what I be sayin and I know you know what I be sayin. This is where three hundos from D-riot stop and re-evaluate their life choices.
Every road leads to Z.
I want you to know that. Every road leads to Z and it ends with Z.
Sure, Ol’ Z might lose a match or two but no one really beats me. No one gets the ol’ one up on the STUN UP. Ya dig? Preecha thought he could so he sent his little troll after me. His little troll thought he could and now this is where we at.
Zombie McMorris looking to kill a cuppa dudes from that piece of leather and gold around you waist and let me tell you from experience -> it aint worth your life. I mean, its worth t for me to take that shit and end your life but its not worth your life. Just ask the 33 dudes whose career I’ve ended. They don’t come around the wrestlin’ world no more. Ol’ Z done did them in. You don’t hear from Jack Schlongson no more from two weeks ago -> cuz ol’ Z done did him in. Whoops.
Make that 34.
I’m like the Baskin’ Robins od wrestling. I ended more careers that you got flavors of fat fold lint.
But hey -> ol’ Z aint here to judge. He’s just here to execute.
destroy.
kill.
ZMACS gonna walk into Overload -> pimp slap that grits N’ Gravy smile off ya face and rip that chubby whubby a new axe wound. You and the other two -> Corey Bull and Loco. Just go ask them.
I mean -> How did Civil War go for you three?
Not great, huh?
Huh?
If I’m lyin’ -> I’m dyin.
Yah, that’s what I thought. HD-Rot, you ‘walked away with a win’ ( LOL IN THE SENSE THAT YOU DIDN’T WIN ) but look where that got you. In the hands and clutches of the Coked Up Mad Man and you gone be lookin for a little bit of vengeance of your own.
vengeance begets vengeance.
or sumshit like that.
Yah. Or sumshit like that.
And you got Loco out there who let you down. Better go fix that little red wagon.
And you got Bull over be crying that he’s 3k years old. Like a bitch.
And then you got ol’ Z makin Zombie Jobbers out of each and every last one of you because I’m on a mission from GAWD JAM WILLY HIZZSELFF.
And that’s a mission that ya’ll just cant fuck with.
Fuckin WU TANG stamped and sealed approval.
So ol’ Z gone approve this fatal four way -> triple beat down fo you boiz right now.
3 axe wounds.
3 dove killahs.
3 FGT KLRS
3 WORLD TOURS
3 CURB STOMPS
Trust me when I tell you I got more moves than an epileptic Michael Jackson.
And I’mma break it awf on each of you dumb motha fuckahs and walk out of overload with my second TV Championship because there aint a damn thang any of you can do to stop me.
Cuz I’m HORROR KORE KILLAH ~MAKIN’~ HARROR KORE THRILLAHS
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CHAPTER 3: OF SMAUGS AND BELROGS
Reemus McCayle Institute. Haddonfield, CT.
Bawbee Z’ee in a V-neck maroon heavy cotton long sleeve stands with Vincent ‘Buddy’ Roman. Bawbee Z’ee is wearing the ol’ corduroy slacks with brown shoes. Lookin’ like a dime store dame in man drag. Fuckin disgraceful. Like, H-rot, you see’in this? Take this young man and teach him how to dress. You know, at one of those places where they can fit you for a suit, a coffin and give you all you can eat bacon chilli burgers. Ya know, really try to expedite their sales process. Like a bar that gives you peanuts. Or an ice cream store that gives you tid bits of fruit. Make you think you eatin healthy but let me tell you sumthin’ none of this is healthy. But yo, check it. Ol’ Buddy Roman chillin out with Bawbee Z’ee at the Reemus McCayle Institute. Fuckin Reemus, its been a minute. You been good? Fuck yah, you been good. Look at chu with that lab coat and clip board. Doing horror kore doctor science N’ shit. They stand there, the cameras roll. We got speed. We got film. We got #MOTHER_FUCKIN_DOCTOR_SCIENCE_SHOOT!!!!
“ Buddy Roman, All week and really the past few months we have seen inspirational quote after inspirational quote coming from UCI TV Champion Henry Diderot. And coming off his recent successes do you have anything to say to the champ this week as he defends against your client whose been M.I.A.?” Baww’bee ZZ’eeee lifts the microphone up but Buddy Roman checks that white devil privialage at the door and takes it. Just like ol’ Z gone take dat TV championship.
“You will understand that regret is also a motivation. You see, MY client, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS is not only formidable but he is undoubtedly the toughest, most brutal, most cunning ( You see where I'm going with this? I know you see where I'm going with this. ) However, what you don't see Mr. Diderot is your hopes and chances at defeating my client this Monday at Overload. You have had a good run with the UCI Television Championship but all 'good things' die young. Very young. Tragically young. Unlike my uncle Jonah, who survived the culling of the first borns, who survived in the wilderness for 41 days and 42 nights. Who elected ( not lost ) to wander in the desert for 52.55 years. Who stood and beheld the land of milk and honey and as my uncle Moses died there on the spot, my uncle ( the better man ) triumphantly walked into the land of milk and honey and ALL THE girls brought the milkshakes to the yard. You damn right, its better than yours. My client would teach you but he'll have to charge. Just like my client will teach you on Monday night and charge you that trinket. We Jews, we like trinkets. We come from a long line of Smaugs. Smaugs and Belrogs. Family gatherings are a hoot. But I digress. Just as you digress with your little motivational speeches. Then... Mr. Diderot... My loving uncle was eaten by a whale. A whole whale. Giant, gigantic super apex predator of a whale ( also a anti-semite ). And do you know what my uncle did? He survived. He thrived. He prospered under extreme conditions and direst. You, Mr. Diderot, are not my uncle and please do not quip how you are my or my clients daddy -such things are between you because if you want to talk JIVE, SUCKA, then we can talk JIVE, SUCKA. So whatever you need to put your head to rest before the end comes. But unlike you, true survival is in my blood. While your blood will just be all over the arena. A sad will and testament that is the failed experiment of the funky hippo ( or whatever you call yourself.) And my client ZOMBIE MCMORRIS will be a two time TV Champion and well on his way to his 2nd grand slam crowning.”
“ Buddy, do you have any words in regards to Corey Bull or Payaso Loco?”
“ The way I see it, and trust me when I tell you that I see it quite clearly. This is a match filled with losers. Corey Bull, last week -> loser. Payaso Loco -> loser. There is a lot of tension and turmoil in this match between those three and it is something that my client will capitalize on like Roy Moor capitalizes on back to school sales. As it pertains to Corey Bull, he has no legs to stand on. Three thousand years old and has to cart around his sisters and her friends because eons old entities need a new plasma screen TV -> so he can watch tape after tape of him losing and tape after tape of MY CLIENT BEING VICTORIOUS. Ya know, I heard that the spirit that manifests in Corey Bull is a god from the Mayan culture. You know, the Mayan Culture. The culture that never invented the wheel. The culture that never flipped through national geographic and saw a horse. Real dumb mother fuckers. That explains why Corey Bull is a real dumb mother fucker. And Corey Bull would have to be truly and one hundred percent brain damaged if he thinks that he can defeat my client on Monday night.
As for Payaso Loco, He is a man that has accomplished nothing. He has done nothing and beaten no one. It is hard to explain how a man who got eliminated last week and a man who lost both deserve a shot at the TV Championship; especially in such a brutal and demanding match such as a bare bones match. This is a match for my client. And if anyone sits there and thinks that Spencer Adams is bias towards my client, they’d be right because no one has provided UCI with more income than my client and if there is anyone sitting at home – Diderot, Bull or Loco and you wana cry about that fact and you wanna paw at the fact that despite whatever lame success you’ve had doesn’t grant you any favor than I just have one thing to say. Get. Good. “
“ What about Dr. McCayle over here. Does he have anything to say?” Asks Bawbee Z’eee.
Reemus looks over his charts and ponders them all scientific and medical like. Super serious. He flips through a few pages and comes to his conclusion.
“Yah.” Replies Reemus. “ They’re fucking retards.”
“Is that your medical diagnosis?”
“ Yes. I ran their DNA through a science machine and the results came back positive.”
“Positives for?”
“Fucking retards, yes. Its extremely serious. They, they don’t stand a chance against the charismatic Zombie McMorris in any capacity. Be it checkers, tic-tac-toe, red rover or even fifty two pick up; let alone in a physical competition such as pro wrestling where my best friends client, can and well most likely, without question, probably – definitely kill or severely injury one of these three fucking retards. I have phoned their families for emotional support and to advertise my services not only as a doctor but as stake share-holder in ‘Ground N’ Pound,’ a suit, coffin and cheeseburger emporium. "
Reemus looks at the camera and pitches.
“ Ground N’ Pound. You put away the pounds and we’ll put you in the ground. No questions asked. No guarantees made.”
* wink *
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CHAPTER 4: ROOM FULL OF GAWDS N’ CLAWDS
Helheim.
Down in a hole -> ( N’ Alice, still in Chains ). With 8-0-0 to goo(o’ohh ) can ol’ Z wax ( ack-axxe dez foolz? ) YAAA’AAHH’AAHH’AASSSS.
#BACK AT THE PLOT
ZMAC N’ Doug chill out in the pit, guarded by other ZMACS. Our hero has contemplated escape dozens of times but is subdued by legions of his doppelgangers. Z looks at Doug and spits on the floor.
“This is some broke ass retarded shit.”
“Yah, its pretty lame but hey – at least you get warped out to wrestle.”
“ Only to come right back here! I haven’t smashed the poon in forever. And Rubys sweet ass sure is taking its sweet ass’in time getting here. Its only been forever.”
“Two weeks for you. Four months for me.” Sighs Doug.
“Four months? I’d have kilt every last Nilla up in this bitch.”
“So why haven’t you? Waiting for Ruby to come rescue you?”
“Somethin’ like that, son. If I know Ruby – she’s bringing friends. Its ok doe, cuz when she does, we killin everybody up in here. In fact I got an idea.”
ZMAC struggles but ultimately is about to climb out of the whole and fights past some guards to announce his match.
“My name is at Worldtour69! And I am a grand slam champion at UCI! This week I have a fatal four way match for the TV Champion.”
‘ the king of 3k’ they all mutter.
“Exactly. We are the kings of 3k and yet here I fuckin sit, like a gawd among clawds and risk no showing a championship match when I should be killin it and thrillin’ it 25/8. Now I don’t give a fuck which limp wristed me is in charge of shit but I want a Hex stone, a tardis, a a jump jet, a fucking portal gun with enough fluid to get me off this fucking prison so that I – unlike the rest of you can get back to doing what I do best. Killing Nillas dead. Jobbers like Corey Bull and Payaso Loco are up there right now going un-checked because one of you decided that paper work was more important than putting IN work.”
@hang_em_high, the lead ZMAC chimes in with a booming voice. “ We let you out to take vengeance on Damian Kaine and then to fight jack Schlongson at your pay per view. You will not get a third chance at vengeance. You need to wait. Throw him back down the hole.”
Guards grab our hero who yells at Hang_Em_High.
“What are you scared of me, Danny? You afraid I’m gonna eclipse you? I’m the OG legend. How Many belts you got? Like two? Still clawing at the WCF internet trip? I got twelve. I’m a grand slam champion? Hows that feel Danny boy? I’m the most accomplished Z up in here and you be tryin to silence the violence but you know what.. you and Bull and Loco… ya’ll a bunch of jobbahs and that’s why you fear me. I aint a jobbah you all float down but ol’ Z he rises to the tippy-whippy! I’m on top smashin dat ass. While ya’ll down here beatin ya meat. Fucking pathetic! You let me out for this match and I’ll show each N’ every one of you just like I showed all of them up there that Ol’ Z aint nuttin to fuck with. Then when I’m done curb stomping them -> I’m k-k-kumming for all of you.”
@hang_em_high laughs. “Deuces Bitch!”
The guards let go of ZMAC whose struck by a bolt of lightning and disappears.
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CHAPTER 5: ZKAST PT 2
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BONUS SCENE
The Cliffs of Poon-sanity. PoonGuinea
Ruby Red climbs the cliffs of Poon Sanity in search of someone -> anyone -> who can hlp return her Southpaw to her.
word count: 2862