Post by Alex Richards on Oct 24, 2017 21:51:10 GMT -6
The black super souped up truck also known as the Strange Rover speeds to it's destination. Which appears to be a large heavy link chain fence with barbed wire around the top of it. This would probably be difficult to get through. If you know Alex Richards wasn't driving a near invincible tank of a truck which he uses to plow through the fence. He backs the truck off then crashes though the fence again. He backs the truck off again but appears satisfied with the size of the hole, as he decides to park the truck. Out hops Alex Richards, his girlfriend Rebecca Thatch, his brother Shaun Zach Richards, and two lesser known characters, the pink leisure suited, young Ron Jeremy look a like Steven Osbourne, and a blonde woman who is wearing a skin tight pink dress. Alex looks around grinning as he spots the signage on the fence.
Seems firmilar, right?
Alex Richards: I'll be right back.
SZR: Where's he going? I thought it was going to argue with him about whether we should go in.
Rebecca Thatch: And I was going to back him up.
Steven Osbourne: And I was gonna fuck Amber up the pooper.
ADV: Is that like ass to mouth? Because I don't like donkey shows.
Rebecca Thatch: Can I kill her?
There is only one killer.
Alex returns carrying a large sledgehammer painted silver.
Alex Richards: I had to tie this back to the boudlebot somehow. Meet Maxwell's Silver hammer.
Steven Osbourne: That thing is bad ass.
Alex Richards: Glad you approve.
Alex swings the hammer and smashes Steven's skull. He swings the hammer again and this time destroys Amber Del Vallee almost before she can get a scream off.
SZR: Alex. Man.. what the fuck?
Alex Richards: This is the killing floor.
Rebecca Thatch: You know we aren't you..
Alex's response is deadly calm.
Alex Richards: There is only one way to win the killing floor. Be the killer. My friends.. you should run.
And run they do.. but the impossibly fast Alex Richards catches up to his brother Shaun.. and grabs him by the back of the head and gives it a twist.. turning his head around backwards. Rebecca stops, turns.. and faces Alex Richards.
Rebecca Thatch: If it were a horror movie.. I'd be the final girl you know.
Alex Richards: This is no movie. And sorry Bonnie Blue, Celeste Mallory.. there will be no final girl.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out.. a machete.
Rebecca Thatch: How did that even fit in there..
Alex Richards: I'm sorry this has to be done.
And with that.. Alex stabs his girlfriend in the chest... then lifts his weapon up gutting the Elvira look-a-like. Alex kicks down the gates, walks inside and puts on the t shirt. Meanwhile a man with a bloody maple leafs jersey and hockey mask looks at Alex.. annoyed.
Killer: WHAT THE FUCK! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE KILLER.
Alex walks over..and rips off the mask.. revealing.. himself.
Alex Richards: But you are the killer. And that's what the killing floor is all about.
Alex paces like a lion looking around at the carnage.. the carnage he caused.
Alex Richards: I killed my friends. My brother. My girlfriend. Do you know why? Because that's what I had to do. That's what the killing floor is all about. In this match there are going to be three Guardians. We are all friends, teammates, allies beforehand. We will be again afterwards. But during the match.. not only will I do it. I will do it without a second thought. Without pause. Because that's what the killing floor is all about.
Alex Richards: People don't realize what Alex Richards is capable of. I don't why but unfortunately it's still true. What do I have to do to get a little respect around here? Former world champion. After he faced me Howard Black was never the same. I basically ended the career of someone everyone thought was going to be a sure fire UCI hall of famer. Won the first Watch the Throne tournament. Two time tag team champion. 35 victories. A win over every major star that has ever come through the UCI, including certain hall of famer and first world champion Crow McMorris. Including three victories over last year's Killing Floor winner Andre Holmes. Yet people look at me.. and they see this easy going, buffet loving, Zim-Quila drinking goofball. Which I am.. but there's more to me than simply that. Much, much more.
Alex Richards: I was the fucking runner up in this match last year. You know how much that burns me? You know.. how much it eats at me.. that Andre Holmes beat me? I could have stopped this. I could have fucked stopped this! This whole Society bullshit.. I could have ended it before it even started. You got famous because you beat me. You got more reconation because you beat me. And you.. you couldn't fucking handle it! You're not a real champion! You're not a real man! You're not a real warrior! You're..
Alex pauses before delivering the death blow.
Alex Richards: YOU'RE NOT A REAL GUARDIAN! There... I fucking said it! You won last year's Killing Floor and what did you do as an encore? Fucking yelled at Jack Schlongson? Fucking pathetic!
Alex slams down the machete in anger.
Alex Richards: But you were just getting started weren't you Andre? Today.. I killed my friends and family. Do you know why I did that? Because that was the nicest thing I could do for them. That was the only thing I could offer them here... on the killing floor. What did you do for your family, Andre? You allowed them to be tortured. You allowed them to be corrupted. You allowed them to be used. AND YOU FUCKING DID NOTHING TO AVENGE THEM! Relentless Andre Holmes? More like Useless Andre Holmes. No wonder you became defamed!
Alex Richards: You won the Killing Floor last year. This opens the floodgates. For Celeste Mallory. To show up at your home. And fucking terrorize your loved ones. She fucking bent you to her will. She fucking made you her bitch. How do you think that made your family feel? Their lives were in her hands... because of fucking you! I'll bet right then.. right there.. they knew you couldn't protect them. But you had a chance to prove otherwise. You had a chance at Civil War to show why people shouldn't fuck with Andre Holmes' family. But you didn't. You choked. Literally. Celeste Mallory choked the life out of you, took your title, left you helpless and unconcious in the middle of the ring. Less then a month. It took less then a month for you to show weakness. One time.. one fucking time.
Alex Richards: I had one bad night against you Holmes.. and it might be the death of the Guardians because of it. Every other time Holmes.. every other time I fucking kicked your pathetic, stupid, overrated ass! Two singles matches including one for a world title shot.. I kicked your ass! Tag team title match.. Bonnie Blue and I... we fucking kicked your ass. But one time.. Andre.. I guess every dog has it's day. But that was your one day Andre. This year at the Killing Floor, balance will be restored. And your family Andre.. if they are watching.. who are they rooting for?
Alex waits for a answer.
Alex Richards: That's a serious question Andre. Because why would they cheer for you? You're a monster Holmes. You're a traitor to the Guardians. You're a traitor to all metahumans. You're a traitor to your own family. All I had to do was do what I did every other time and destroy Andre Holmes.. and nobody would have known what a weak, cowardly excuse for a man you truly are.
Alex Richards: Shadowlove beat up my girlfriend and brother once. After I was done with him he knew better then to ever try again. Paul Rudd kidnapped Rebecca, tried to kill Becky and myself. I destroyed him physically, and mentally. I left him a hollow shell. What about you? You let Celeste take your title, take your pride. And that.. that was the lesser of two evils now wasn't it? Look what the Society did to your family?
Alex Richards: I killed my friends and family tonight because I couldn't save them. I'll bet your family wishes you did the same for them. How do you think they feel? With you committing mass genocide in the name of saving them? Some hero, huh? They would probably rather be dead then be saved by a monster like you Holmes! If.. they are even still alive? Ever think of that Holmes. Maybe your family is already dead. And you're doing this for nothing. The Society has killed thousands, tens of thousands perhaps hundreds of thousands of metahumans. What's your family to them? You're a fool Holmes.
Alex Richards: And you're selfish. You destroyed thousands of families on the off chance you save your own. You're no Guardian Holmes. You're just a sociopath. If that... Maybe you're really more like a cockroach. You survive and you don't care how has to die in the meantime.
Alex states with deadly calm.
Alex Richards: You will not survive the Killing Floor this time. I will be the reason you will not survive. What to know what's fucked up about this though? You already know that. How can I state that with such simple, obvious confidence? Simple.. you proved it time and time again. You don't really want none of you. You almost ended the life of Damian Kaine. But sorry Damian.. you're the weakest Guardian. Everyone knows that. You went after him because like every bully, every coward, you chose the one least likely to be able to fight back against you. You didn't choose me.. you didn't choose L.. you chose Damian because it made your statement with the least amount of risk. Ditto for your return. When you assaulted Bonnie Blue.
Alex cocks an eyebrow and raises his hands in a whoa gesture.
Alex Richards: I'm not saying Bonnie is weak. But I am saying that you counted on your long standing friendship. You counted on the love Bonnie has for you. You thought that Bonnie wouldn't kill you because of your friendship. You thought that Damian Kaine couldn't kill you. But you made a mistake. You didn't directly come at me because you didn't want to poke the bear. But you did it anyway. You fucked with the Guardians. You fucked with all metahumans. You joined the dark side. That means you fucked with me. I won't hestiate to kill a traitor. I might be a nice guy most of the time Holmes, but there's darkness within me. I remember the evil that people can do. The evil that people do just because they think they can get away with it. When I was a child I was almost destroyed. I was betrayed by a sick child loving freak, and then much worse by my own family who was blinded by greed and money.
Alex Richards: Some people are just evil. Like you Holmes. When you meet someone who's pure evil. You don't give them a second chance. They will merely ruin more lives. When you get the chance.. you take them out. This is my chance Andre. You're alone in the Killing Floor. Your bodyguards and assasions from the Society can't help you this time. This is my best shot to take you out and I will not miss! I joined the Guardians to hunt monsters Andre.. and you have become the biggest monster of them all.
Alex snorts.
Alex Richards: And the stupidest one. I can't wait for this match to come down to the final four. Because it's going to be Preecha Kamon, Bonnie Blue, and myself against you Andre Holmes. Make no mistake Holmes we are going to save you for last. And do you know why? You did happen to see XIII? Spinebuster from Alex Richards.. into a backstabber from L Verez.. into a double stomp from Bonnie Blue. We broke Frank Veneble's back with that one move. But you want to know a secret? We like Frank. And that's what three Guardians did to him. We despise you, we loathe you.. we hate you. What do you think we are going to do to you? There's a lot of barbed wire Andre... someone could lose their head.. literally. Now we all know Petrov came back from that. So we're gonna have to do worse to you to make sure you don't. This is the killing floor Andre.. and this is your final judgment.
Alex Richards: People remember me coming back to the UCI. Coming back from the dead seemingly. Nobody else in this match has had a worse experience then me. Nobody else has literally watched themselves die. What kind of advantage do you think that gives me? I know the edge between life and death because I literally walked it. How is anyone else going to win the killing floor?
Alex Richards: But that wasn't even what I was going for. People don't remember why I came back. I came back to the UCI to take on Bonnie Blue. I had questions about her alliance with the Beach Krew. What that would mean for the Guardians. Now while I wasn't wrong about the Beach Krew being a bunch of self righteous douche nozzles licking the bag of the master manipulator Johnny Rabid. I am happy to admit I was wrong about Bonnie Blue. The Guardians were in good hands. Bonnie may have made a deal with the devil but she did it to ensure the survival of the Guardians. It's the ultimate lesson. You can't deal with truly evil people unless you are willing to get your hands bloody yourself. So Bonnie consider my win at the Killing Floor a tribute to you. When the match is over and I raise the championship consider it an acknowledge of your leadership. I respect you more then anyone else Bonnie. This is almost going to hurt me more than it hurts you. Seems cliche I know but it's actually true. I am going to have to hurt you Bonnie.. a lot. But when it's over.. it will all be worth it. Because we will have destroyed that turncoat Holmes and we will have returned the world championship where it belongs.. to the hands of Alex Richards.. to a member of the Guardians. And I will be the last Guardian standing.
Alex Richards: I'm not going to talk smack about Bonnie or Preecha. Why would I? I have nothing bad to say about two warriors such as yourselves. For one night only though.. I wish you weren't both such badasses. Everyone else in this match.. they have their breaking points.. and once they reach it they'll give up. There is no quit in either of you. But unfortunately for you there is no quit in me either and I will not be denied. Not on this day. Warriors like Kamon and Blue won't stay down until they are forced to. But I'm going to have to be the one to apply that force. Sorry.. this is my night.
Alex Richards: Celeste Mallory. I haven't heard a word from you or about you in months. I hope you finally learned how toxic your mother was. I hope you finally got out of her grasp. I hope you found peace. Peace with what a terrible piece of garbage human being you are. Peace with the fact you may be the worst UCI world champion of all time. Because you know.. peace is good. Because you're going to need a little serenity after what happens to you at the Killing floor. You think you can just waltz in here unprepared and take home the prize? How arrogant are you? Listen here you snot nosed little bitch.. I would say your time is passed.. but your time barely even started.
Alex Richards: This is going to be your final match in the UCI and it's going to leave you the legacy you deserve. Nothing. Your title reign will be shown to be a fluke. Once upon a time you got inside Andre Holmes head and you were rewarded with the world title. The mind games were the only thing you had though. It was your greatest weapon. It was your only weapon. Without it.. you have nothing. Which is what you will enter and leave the Killing floor with.
Alex Richards: Kevin Bishop.. how did you fail actually? First off.. you beat me to being the first two time world champion. I mean that's kind of disappointing but I could deal with that. You earned it before me. Complaining about that is just childish whining. But you really lost the world title to Zombie McMorris after Bonnie and I gifted you a successful title defense? We beat the hell out of Z Mac. We took his tag team championship away from him. We did exactly what I said we were going to do. But then.. you couldn't get the job done Kevin Bishop. You failed where we succeeded. You unleashed that egomaniac Z Mac on the universe as it's world champion. You did that!
Alex Richards: But that's hardly your biggest failure is it Kevin? You tried to turn the wrestling universe against the Guardians. You tried to wage a war against us with your Brotherhood. Shit, you even defeated me twice in matches. But in the end Bishop.. like everything you do... you failed. The Guardians.. still fucking here. What about your Brotherhood? Not a soul remains except for you.
Alex Richards: People used to call you the Plague. And there was no more fitting nickname. Because you brought down a plague on anyone who followed you. Your entire Brotherhood, out of wrestling, or possibly dead. Your best friend Lester Parish was killed.. because of you. You're poison Kevin Bishop. Everyone who fights for your cause.. except for you, winds up suffering in the end. They wind up walking down the path of destruction.. for you.
Alex Richards: Not this time. This time you answer for your crimes. This time you pay the price for what you did. There is only one member of the Brotherhood left. That is one member too many as far as I'm concerned. Because one of these days you are going to rebuild. And start the circle of misery again. Not on my watch. The Guardians help people. Even misguided people willing to listen to your lies. Willing to push themselves beyond any normal limits in order to benefit you. I know your cult is gone now but I'm going to the source. Taking out Kevin Bishop means I destroy the brotherhood for good. Shit, I would do that for free let alone for the world title!
Alex Richards: You lost your edge Bishop. You proved that last month by ending one of the worst world title reigns of all time by losing your title in your first defense to a man who already lost that night. All that's left is for someone to destroy the body and scatter the ashes. If I have to be that man... it'll be my pleasure.
Alex Richards: Oblivion.. you're a god of terror. You think this is your match. But it's not. It's my fucking match. I went through almost an hour of Hell last year, starting the match and finishing it.. just narrowly being defeated. Oblivion.. you want to hurt someone. I want to win. I need to win. This is just another match to you. Just another day to maim. That's the difference between us. I know the history of the Killing Floor because I lived it first hand. Perhaps if you come find me I'll give you a brief history lesson. Or you know... Preecha might get you first.
Alex grins, nods.
Alex Richards: Yeah.. Preecha is going to get you first. He qualified at the last minute for that very reason. Who I am to deny him a little revenge? I am winning the main prize after all. No need to be greedy. Preecha.. Obi is all yours. Have fun. You know he did when he put you through that table.
Alex Richards: Corey Bull.. no I haven't forgotten about you. We have never had the pleasure of meeting in the ring. But I know all about you Corey. You fought three of my teammates. You fought Damian Kaine to a standstill. You were defeated by Preecha Kamon. And most impressively you hold a win over Bonnie Blue. You didn't pin her but a win is a win.
Alex Richards: You know what I do know about you though Corey Bull. I know you worked with Bolas Da Arena. You were supposedly his friend. You supposedly were training him for success. But I don't buy it. For every report I ever hear all you really did was give him beatings. But that's the kind of man you really are isn't it Corey? The kind of man who would beat up his own friends just to get a few cheap, sick thrills. Bolas was no friend of mine. But I'll give him one thing. Bolas had heart. Bolas was willing to do anything in order to succeed even turn himself into a metahuman of sorts.
Alex Richards: You're just a big, muscular guy who likes beating people up.
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: I can understand that. I like beating people up too. Especially the kind of people who abandon their friends. You're low Bull. When Bolas needed you.. you let him fail.. then took his place in the UCI. I'm going to give you a first hand lesson on what treachery like that earns you. You won't get 15 pounds of gold from the Killing Floor.. but I might get a pound of flesh out of your hide. In fact.. I'm counting on it.
Finally satisfied Alex raises his hands and touches the sides of his head...
You son of a bitch! You killed me! You actually killed me!
Alex had just removed his helmet when he is immediately smacked hard across the face by his beautiful, fiery, pale skinned, red eyed girlfriend Rebecca Thatch.
Rebecca Thatch: You weren't supposed to kill me! I worked so hard on that virtual reality simulator. I thought it was perfect. But how were you able to see that it wasn't real?
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: Strange technology.
Rebecca Thatch: Yeah so?
Alex Richards: Is there anything strange I can figure out. Besides Becky it worked perfectly. It got me in the absolute best mindset for the killing floor. Because I learned that when I'm in a truly fucked up situation.. the correct reaction is to do the most fucked up thing possible.
Rebecca hugs Alex hard.
Rebecca Thatch: You always know just how to make a girl feel all her hard work was worth it.
Alex Richards: Don't worry Becky.. when the killing floor is over I'll bring back that belt and we'll celebrate in truly unique style. What's more fucked up then a barbed wire hell in a cell filled with weapons. And who is more suited to creatively punish people until only he is left standing? Only the king of mass confusion of course.
Rebecca thinks for a second.. then decides she wants an answer to her question.
Rebecca Thatch: You wouldn't really kill Shaun and I when presented with a dangerous situation would you?
Alex doesn't hestiate.
Alex Richards: Of course not! Well not unless my original plan failed.
Alex's eyes seem to grow darker.
Alex Richards: Kill all of them. Or try dying. And I'm a Guardian. So even if I do die.. there's always a chance I can come back. But if anyone fucks with my family.. either they will be dead. Or they will wish they were. One of these days.. the Society is going to send someone for you and Zach. I know they will. And I know it will either be Andre Holmes or will be because of Andre Holmes. Unless I stop him first. You know how I know this?
Alex reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled photo. He holds it up high. It is a picture of a middle aged male. Absolutely average, not spectacular in any way visually.
Alex Richards: This is Ryan Stevens. His wife Tabitha sent me this photo. Ryan Stevens lives in Richmond, Virginia. Ryan Stevens has two children Joe and Bryan. Ryan Stevens worked as a male nurse for 23 years. That's what Ryan Stevens had. Now he has nothing. Because you fucking murdered him Andre Holmes. Ryan was the kind of guy who always followed the rules, never broke a law in his life. So when he heard that the Society were requiring metahumans to register with them he immediately signed up and indentified himself. You know what Ryan Stevens dangerous metahuman power was?
Alex glares sullenly.
Alex Richards: Ryan Stevens had the power to grow his fingernails super long. Yeah.. that's it. And even then he always kept them clipped because of his chosen profession. But apparently somebody in the Society thought it was wrong to allow metahumans to work in a hospital. So they sicced their dog on him. They, you Andre, cut him down. I never met the man even once in his life. But I know he didn't deserve that. I know that he deserves vengeance. And giant spaghetti monster help anyone who gets in my way of extracting it. I will not only win this match, but I will paint the cell with your blood Andre Holmes! You have victimized your last metahuman... I promise you that.
Alex.. Alex..
Bonnie Blue's voice finally jars him back into reality. He looks around the cabin. He looks at Armand. He looks at Preecha. He looks at Bonnie. He smiles.
Alex Richards: Don't worry.. I got this.
Armand and Bonnie exchange a look.. having no clue what Alex has been thinking all that time. Alex however simply smiles contently.
Alex Richards: You guys got any Zim-Quila?
Bonnie laughs
Bonnie Blue: Please.. this is a Guardians meeting. I know you'd walk out if we didn't!
Alex grabs his boot full of booze. Then returns rejoining the meeting for real this time as the scene..
Fades To Black
Until we hear laughter
Alex Richards: Hey.. Zombie McMorris.. I'll bet you've been waiting for this haven't you? I know you were. That's why I saved you for last. That's why I made you wait. Just to piss you off. Shit, I even had this video re-edited so I could put you at the very end. You're not the only one who can troll Z Mac. Of course since I'm already a better wrestler then you and apparently a better troll as well I don't know what else is left for you Z Mac. I saw you on twitter this week Z Mac and you're lucky I don't have any respect for you. Because if I did I would have lost it there. You talking about how nobody else had said anything yet as of it actually meant something. It made me think.. how on earth is this guy world champion? Because it seems to me you don't have a clue how things actually work. You do know that the killing floor is a wrestling match, right? Or at least a street fight. One thing it definately isn't is a circle jerk. The one who gets their nut off first is not the winner, Zombie. I'm a professional fighter Zombie. I use every moment I can to prepare for my match. Especially a match like the killing floor. I spend all week getting ready, figuring out just what I need to say, just what I need to do in order to get the victory.
Alex Richards: But you? You speak like you fight Zombie. Sloppy. You sling shit like a monkey on heroin and hope that's going to be enough. Well guess what.. I'm Alex fucking Richards and it ain't even going to be close! I know exactly what you're thinking too. You're thinking I won four titles in the UCI so I must be doing something right. Well actually in Zombiespeak you're thinking.. LOL FGT. But as far as I'm concerned you haven't really done shit. Damian Kaine, Kevin Bishop, Biff and Buff Mustache, Shadowlove, NegaSonik. All those guys were the people you beat for titles. You notice a name missing from that list? Yeah.. Alex Richards. You never won a title from Alex Richards. But you fought me for a title once. You fought Bonnie Blue and I for the tag team championships just last month.
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: How'd that work out for you? Because I gotta say it worked out great for Bonnie and I. That tag team around my waist. The one I'm going to wear to the ring. I want you to remember that I took that from you. Bonnie even broke your arm. In a regular match mind you. Not a killing floor match. Imagine what she's going to do to you? If I don't get to you first that is. Well we are a tag team maybe we'll get to you at the same time. Maybe we'll fight over your body like a thanksgiving wishbone. Because if we rip you in half... do you die Zombie?
Alex Richards: I really don't know the answer to that question. But I'm dying to find out. But you should be worried Zombie. But you're too stupid to. Because here's a simple truth Z Mac.. that title win against you... it was easy compared to our last one. Team Rekless.. now that was a challenge. As little as I like Andre Holmes I will give him and Schlongson that. Z Mac and Kaz Mazy.. you were no Team Rekless. In fact for someone who prides himself in ending careers that match had to really hurt didn't it? Because we ended the career of the ZWO. Your tag team partner Kaz Mazy hasn't been seen since. We destroyed the Zombie World Order.. and it only took us minutes.
Alex Richards: But yet you still don't respect me. That's okay though. Like I said earlier I don't respect you either. But there's a difference. The difference being the reason why. Because as far as I'm concerned Zombie.. you're cheating. You're a coward. I think you're a lesser being than anyone in this match. Because you're the only who isn't risking anything. Sure.. you're putting that world title on the line. Big fucking deal. You lose the world title. You can always win it back. I'm going to do that this week. But everybody else.. they are putting their lives, their health, their careers on the line in the killing floor. But you aren't. Because you're a zombie Z Mac. So that makes me wonder. What kind of a zombie gets involved in competitive fighting with mere mortals? You don't feel pain like a human, you don't die like a human, if your bones are broken they don't heal slow like humans. Basically you're using your supernatural advantage to beat up on the weak. I find that pathetic Zombie. I think you need to pick on someone of your own strength. Someone who is willing to break every single bone in your body. I can't kill you Zombie.. but I damn sure fuck you up. And I damn sure you make you quit. Because in theory you should never lose. Because of your unfair advantage. But you do. So that makes me think.. even though the body is strong, maybe your heart is a little weak. Maybe when things get tough for you you chose to lose and fight another day. Don't worry Zombie.. in a thousand years you'll win the Killing Floor. But this year's Killing Floor belongs to me. You will heal... but I will fucking hurt you Zombie. You could use your powers to do good. You could use them to do evil. But mostly.. you just use them in the least interesting, more slackerish way possible. You're lazy Zombie and this WILL be your downfall.
Now we fade to black
Seems firmilar, right?
Alex Richards: I'll be right back.
SZR: Where's he going? I thought it was going to argue with him about whether we should go in.
Rebecca Thatch: And I was going to back him up.
Steven Osbourne: And I was gonna fuck Amber up the pooper.
ADV: Is that like ass to mouth? Because I don't like donkey shows.
Rebecca Thatch: Can I kill her?
There is only one killer.
Alex returns carrying a large sledgehammer painted silver.
Alex Richards: I had to tie this back to the boudlebot somehow. Meet Maxwell's Silver hammer.
Steven Osbourne: That thing is bad ass.
Alex Richards: Glad you approve.
Alex swings the hammer and smashes Steven's skull. He swings the hammer again and this time destroys Amber Del Vallee almost before she can get a scream off.
SZR: Alex. Man.. what the fuck?
Alex Richards: This is the killing floor.
Rebecca Thatch: You know we aren't you..
Alex's response is deadly calm.
Alex Richards: There is only one way to win the killing floor. Be the killer. My friends.. you should run.
And run they do.. but the impossibly fast Alex Richards catches up to his brother Shaun.. and grabs him by the back of the head and gives it a twist.. turning his head around backwards. Rebecca stops, turns.. and faces Alex Richards.
Rebecca Thatch: If it were a horror movie.. I'd be the final girl you know.
Alex Richards: This is no movie. And sorry Bonnie Blue, Celeste Mallory.. there will be no final girl.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out.. a machete.
Rebecca Thatch: How did that even fit in there..
Alex Richards: I'm sorry this has to be done.
And with that.. Alex stabs his girlfriend in the chest... then lifts his weapon up gutting the Elvira look-a-like. Alex kicks down the gates, walks inside and puts on the t shirt. Meanwhile a man with a bloody maple leafs jersey and hockey mask looks at Alex.. annoyed.
Killer: WHAT THE FUCK! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE KILLER.
Alex walks over..and rips off the mask.. revealing.. himself.
Alex Richards: But you are the killer. And that's what the killing floor is all about.
Alex paces like a lion looking around at the carnage.. the carnage he caused.
Alex Richards: I killed my friends. My brother. My girlfriend. Do you know why? Because that's what I had to do. That's what the killing floor is all about. In this match there are going to be three Guardians. We are all friends, teammates, allies beforehand. We will be again afterwards. But during the match.. not only will I do it. I will do it without a second thought. Without pause. Because that's what the killing floor is all about.
Alex Richards: People don't realize what Alex Richards is capable of. I don't why but unfortunately it's still true. What do I have to do to get a little respect around here? Former world champion. After he faced me Howard Black was never the same. I basically ended the career of someone everyone thought was going to be a sure fire UCI hall of famer. Won the first Watch the Throne tournament. Two time tag team champion. 35 victories. A win over every major star that has ever come through the UCI, including certain hall of famer and first world champion Crow McMorris. Including three victories over last year's Killing Floor winner Andre Holmes. Yet people look at me.. and they see this easy going, buffet loving, Zim-Quila drinking goofball. Which I am.. but there's more to me than simply that. Much, much more.
Alex Richards: I was the fucking runner up in this match last year. You know how much that burns me? You know.. how much it eats at me.. that Andre Holmes beat me? I could have stopped this. I could have fucked stopped this! This whole Society bullshit.. I could have ended it before it even started. You got famous because you beat me. You got more reconation because you beat me. And you.. you couldn't fucking handle it! You're not a real champion! You're not a real man! You're not a real warrior! You're..
Alex pauses before delivering the death blow.
Alex Richards: YOU'RE NOT A REAL GUARDIAN! There... I fucking said it! You won last year's Killing Floor and what did you do as an encore? Fucking yelled at Jack Schlongson? Fucking pathetic!
Alex slams down the machete in anger.
Alex Richards: But you were just getting started weren't you Andre? Today.. I killed my friends and family. Do you know why I did that? Because that was the nicest thing I could do for them. That was the only thing I could offer them here... on the killing floor. What did you do for your family, Andre? You allowed them to be tortured. You allowed them to be corrupted. You allowed them to be used. AND YOU FUCKING DID NOTHING TO AVENGE THEM! Relentless Andre Holmes? More like Useless Andre Holmes. No wonder you became defamed!
Alex Richards: You won the Killing Floor last year. This opens the floodgates. For Celeste Mallory. To show up at your home. And fucking terrorize your loved ones. She fucking bent you to her will. She fucking made you her bitch. How do you think that made your family feel? Their lives were in her hands... because of fucking you! I'll bet right then.. right there.. they knew you couldn't protect them. But you had a chance to prove otherwise. You had a chance at Civil War to show why people shouldn't fuck with Andre Holmes' family. But you didn't. You choked. Literally. Celeste Mallory choked the life out of you, took your title, left you helpless and unconcious in the middle of the ring. Less then a month. It took less then a month for you to show weakness. One time.. one fucking time.
Alex Richards: I had one bad night against you Holmes.. and it might be the death of the Guardians because of it. Every other time Holmes.. every other time I fucking kicked your pathetic, stupid, overrated ass! Two singles matches including one for a world title shot.. I kicked your ass! Tag team title match.. Bonnie Blue and I... we fucking kicked your ass. But one time.. Andre.. I guess every dog has it's day. But that was your one day Andre. This year at the Killing Floor, balance will be restored. And your family Andre.. if they are watching.. who are they rooting for?
Alex waits for a answer.
Alex Richards: That's a serious question Andre. Because why would they cheer for you? You're a monster Holmes. You're a traitor to the Guardians. You're a traitor to all metahumans. You're a traitor to your own family. All I had to do was do what I did every other time and destroy Andre Holmes.. and nobody would have known what a weak, cowardly excuse for a man you truly are.
Alex Richards: Shadowlove beat up my girlfriend and brother once. After I was done with him he knew better then to ever try again. Paul Rudd kidnapped Rebecca, tried to kill Becky and myself. I destroyed him physically, and mentally. I left him a hollow shell. What about you? You let Celeste take your title, take your pride. And that.. that was the lesser of two evils now wasn't it? Look what the Society did to your family?
Alex Richards: I killed my friends and family tonight because I couldn't save them. I'll bet your family wishes you did the same for them. How do you think they feel? With you committing mass genocide in the name of saving them? Some hero, huh? They would probably rather be dead then be saved by a monster like you Holmes! If.. they are even still alive? Ever think of that Holmes. Maybe your family is already dead. And you're doing this for nothing. The Society has killed thousands, tens of thousands perhaps hundreds of thousands of metahumans. What's your family to them? You're a fool Holmes.
Alex Richards: And you're selfish. You destroyed thousands of families on the off chance you save your own. You're no Guardian Holmes. You're just a sociopath. If that... Maybe you're really more like a cockroach. You survive and you don't care how has to die in the meantime.
Alex states with deadly calm.
Alex Richards: You will not survive the Killing Floor this time. I will be the reason you will not survive. What to know what's fucked up about this though? You already know that. How can I state that with such simple, obvious confidence? Simple.. you proved it time and time again. You don't really want none of you. You almost ended the life of Damian Kaine. But sorry Damian.. you're the weakest Guardian. Everyone knows that. You went after him because like every bully, every coward, you chose the one least likely to be able to fight back against you. You didn't choose me.. you didn't choose L.. you chose Damian because it made your statement with the least amount of risk. Ditto for your return. When you assaulted Bonnie Blue.
Alex cocks an eyebrow and raises his hands in a whoa gesture.
Alex Richards: I'm not saying Bonnie is weak. But I am saying that you counted on your long standing friendship. You counted on the love Bonnie has for you. You thought that Bonnie wouldn't kill you because of your friendship. You thought that Damian Kaine couldn't kill you. But you made a mistake. You didn't directly come at me because you didn't want to poke the bear. But you did it anyway. You fucked with the Guardians. You fucked with all metahumans. You joined the dark side. That means you fucked with me. I won't hestiate to kill a traitor. I might be a nice guy most of the time Holmes, but there's darkness within me. I remember the evil that people can do. The evil that people do just because they think they can get away with it. When I was a child I was almost destroyed. I was betrayed by a sick child loving freak, and then much worse by my own family who was blinded by greed and money.
Alex Richards: Some people are just evil. Like you Holmes. When you meet someone who's pure evil. You don't give them a second chance. They will merely ruin more lives. When you get the chance.. you take them out. This is my chance Andre. You're alone in the Killing Floor. Your bodyguards and assasions from the Society can't help you this time. This is my best shot to take you out and I will not miss! I joined the Guardians to hunt monsters Andre.. and you have become the biggest monster of them all.
Alex snorts.
Alex Richards: And the stupidest one. I can't wait for this match to come down to the final four. Because it's going to be Preecha Kamon, Bonnie Blue, and myself against you Andre Holmes. Make no mistake Holmes we are going to save you for last. And do you know why? You did happen to see XIII? Spinebuster from Alex Richards.. into a backstabber from L Verez.. into a double stomp from Bonnie Blue. We broke Frank Veneble's back with that one move. But you want to know a secret? We like Frank. And that's what three Guardians did to him. We despise you, we loathe you.. we hate you. What do you think we are going to do to you? There's a lot of barbed wire Andre... someone could lose their head.. literally. Now we all know Petrov came back from that. So we're gonna have to do worse to you to make sure you don't. This is the killing floor Andre.. and this is your final judgment.
Alex Richards: People remember me coming back to the UCI. Coming back from the dead seemingly. Nobody else in this match has had a worse experience then me. Nobody else has literally watched themselves die. What kind of advantage do you think that gives me? I know the edge between life and death because I literally walked it. How is anyone else going to win the killing floor?
Alex Richards: But that wasn't even what I was going for. People don't remember why I came back. I came back to the UCI to take on Bonnie Blue. I had questions about her alliance with the Beach Krew. What that would mean for the Guardians. Now while I wasn't wrong about the Beach Krew being a bunch of self righteous douche nozzles licking the bag of the master manipulator Johnny Rabid. I am happy to admit I was wrong about Bonnie Blue. The Guardians were in good hands. Bonnie may have made a deal with the devil but she did it to ensure the survival of the Guardians. It's the ultimate lesson. You can't deal with truly evil people unless you are willing to get your hands bloody yourself. So Bonnie consider my win at the Killing Floor a tribute to you. When the match is over and I raise the championship consider it an acknowledge of your leadership. I respect you more then anyone else Bonnie. This is almost going to hurt me more than it hurts you. Seems cliche I know but it's actually true. I am going to have to hurt you Bonnie.. a lot. But when it's over.. it will all be worth it. Because we will have destroyed that turncoat Holmes and we will have returned the world championship where it belongs.. to the hands of Alex Richards.. to a member of the Guardians. And I will be the last Guardian standing.
Alex Richards: I'm not going to talk smack about Bonnie or Preecha. Why would I? I have nothing bad to say about two warriors such as yourselves. For one night only though.. I wish you weren't both such badasses. Everyone else in this match.. they have their breaking points.. and once they reach it they'll give up. There is no quit in either of you. But unfortunately for you there is no quit in me either and I will not be denied. Not on this day. Warriors like Kamon and Blue won't stay down until they are forced to. But I'm going to have to be the one to apply that force. Sorry.. this is my night.
Alex Richards: Celeste Mallory. I haven't heard a word from you or about you in months. I hope you finally learned how toxic your mother was. I hope you finally got out of her grasp. I hope you found peace. Peace with what a terrible piece of garbage human being you are. Peace with the fact you may be the worst UCI world champion of all time. Because you know.. peace is good. Because you're going to need a little serenity after what happens to you at the Killing floor. You think you can just waltz in here unprepared and take home the prize? How arrogant are you? Listen here you snot nosed little bitch.. I would say your time is passed.. but your time barely even started.
Alex Richards: This is going to be your final match in the UCI and it's going to leave you the legacy you deserve. Nothing. Your title reign will be shown to be a fluke. Once upon a time you got inside Andre Holmes head and you were rewarded with the world title. The mind games were the only thing you had though. It was your greatest weapon. It was your only weapon. Without it.. you have nothing. Which is what you will enter and leave the Killing floor with.
Alex Richards: Kevin Bishop.. how did you fail actually? First off.. you beat me to being the first two time world champion. I mean that's kind of disappointing but I could deal with that. You earned it before me. Complaining about that is just childish whining. But you really lost the world title to Zombie McMorris after Bonnie and I gifted you a successful title defense? We beat the hell out of Z Mac. We took his tag team championship away from him. We did exactly what I said we were going to do. But then.. you couldn't get the job done Kevin Bishop. You failed where we succeeded. You unleashed that egomaniac Z Mac on the universe as it's world champion. You did that!
Alex Richards: But that's hardly your biggest failure is it Kevin? You tried to turn the wrestling universe against the Guardians. You tried to wage a war against us with your Brotherhood. Shit, you even defeated me twice in matches. But in the end Bishop.. like everything you do... you failed. The Guardians.. still fucking here. What about your Brotherhood? Not a soul remains except for you.
Alex Richards: People used to call you the Plague. And there was no more fitting nickname. Because you brought down a plague on anyone who followed you. Your entire Brotherhood, out of wrestling, or possibly dead. Your best friend Lester Parish was killed.. because of you. You're poison Kevin Bishop. Everyone who fights for your cause.. except for you, winds up suffering in the end. They wind up walking down the path of destruction.. for you.
Alex Richards: Not this time. This time you answer for your crimes. This time you pay the price for what you did. There is only one member of the Brotherhood left. That is one member too many as far as I'm concerned. Because one of these days you are going to rebuild. And start the circle of misery again. Not on my watch. The Guardians help people. Even misguided people willing to listen to your lies. Willing to push themselves beyond any normal limits in order to benefit you. I know your cult is gone now but I'm going to the source. Taking out Kevin Bishop means I destroy the brotherhood for good. Shit, I would do that for free let alone for the world title!
Alex Richards: You lost your edge Bishop. You proved that last month by ending one of the worst world title reigns of all time by losing your title in your first defense to a man who already lost that night. All that's left is for someone to destroy the body and scatter the ashes. If I have to be that man... it'll be my pleasure.
Alex Richards: Oblivion.. you're a god of terror. You think this is your match. But it's not. It's my fucking match. I went through almost an hour of Hell last year, starting the match and finishing it.. just narrowly being defeated. Oblivion.. you want to hurt someone. I want to win. I need to win. This is just another match to you. Just another day to maim. That's the difference between us. I know the history of the Killing Floor because I lived it first hand. Perhaps if you come find me I'll give you a brief history lesson. Or you know... Preecha might get you first.
Alex grins, nods.
Alex Richards: Yeah.. Preecha is going to get you first. He qualified at the last minute for that very reason. Who I am to deny him a little revenge? I am winning the main prize after all. No need to be greedy. Preecha.. Obi is all yours. Have fun. You know he did when he put you through that table.
Alex Richards: Corey Bull.. no I haven't forgotten about you. We have never had the pleasure of meeting in the ring. But I know all about you Corey. You fought three of my teammates. You fought Damian Kaine to a standstill. You were defeated by Preecha Kamon. And most impressively you hold a win over Bonnie Blue. You didn't pin her but a win is a win.
Alex Richards: You know what I do know about you though Corey Bull. I know you worked with Bolas Da Arena. You were supposedly his friend. You supposedly were training him for success. But I don't buy it. For every report I ever hear all you really did was give him beatings. But that's the kind of man you really are isn't it Corey? The kind of man who would beat up his own friends just to get a few cheap, sick thrills. Bolas was no friend of mine. But I'll give him one thing. Bolas had heart. Bolas was willing to do anything in order to succeed even turn himself into a metahuman of sorts.
Alex Richards: You're just a big, muscular guy who likes beating people up.
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: I can understand that. I like beating people up too. Especially the kind of people who abandon their friends. You're low Bull. When Bolas needed you.. you let him fail.. then took his place in the UCI. I'm going to give you a first hand lesson on what treachery like that earns you. You won't get 15 pounds of gold from the Killing Floor.. but I might get a pound of flesh out of your hide. In fact.. I'm counting on it.
Finally satisfied Alex raises his hands and touches the sides of his head...
You son of a bitch! You killed me! You actually killed me!
Alex had just removed his helmet when he is immediately smacked hard across the face by his beautiful, fiery, pale skinned, red eyed girlfriend Rebecca Thatch.
Rebecca Thatch: You weren't supposed to kill me! I worked so hard on that virtual reality simulator. I thought it was perfect. But how were you able to see that it wasn't real?
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: Strange technology.
Rebecca Thatch: Yeah so?
Alex Richards: Is there anything strange I can figure out. Besides Becky it worked perfectly. It got me in the absolute best mindset for the killing floor. Because I learned that when I'm in a truly fucked up situation.. the correct reaction is to do the most fucked up thing possible.
Rebecca hugs Alex hard.
Rebecca Thatch: You always know just how to make a girl feel all her hard work was worth it.
Alex Richards: Don't worry Becky.. when the killing floor is over I'll bring back that belt and we'll celebrate in truly unique style. What's more fucked up then a barbed wire hell in a cell filled with weapons. And who is more suited to creatively punish people until only he is left standing? Only the king of mass confusion of course.
Rebecca thinks for a second.. then decides she wants an answer to her question.
Rebecca Thatch: You wouldn't really kill Shaun and I when presented with a dangerous situation would you?
Alex doesn't hestiate.
Alex Richards: Of course not! Well not unless my original plan failed.
Alex's eyes seem to grow darker.
Alex Richards: Kill all of them. Or try dying. And I'm a Guardian. So even if I do die.. there's always a chance I can come back. But if anyone fucks with my family.. either they will be dead. Or they will wish they were. One of these days.. the Society is going to send someone for you and Zach. I know they will. And I know it will either be Andre Holmes or will be because of Andre Holmes. Unless I stop him first. You know how I know this?
Alex reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled photo. He holds it up high. It is a picture of a middle aged male. Absolutely average, not spectacular in any way visually.
Alex Richards: This is Ryan Stevens. His wife Tabitha sent me this photo. Ryan Stevens lives in Richmond, Virginia. Ryan Stevens has two children Joe and Bryan. Ryan Stevens worked as a male nurse for 23 years. That's what Ryan Stevens had. Now he has nothing. Because you fucking murdered him Andre Holmes. Ryan was the kind of guy who always followed the rules, never broke a law in his life. So when he heard that the Society were requiring metahumans to register with them he immediately signed up and indentified himself. You know what Ryan Stevens dangerous metahuman power was?
Alex glares sullenly.
Alex Richards: Ryan Stevens had the power to grow his fingernails super long. Yeah.. that's it. And even then he always kept them clipped because of his chosen profession. But apparently somebody in the Society thought it was wrong to allow metahumans to work in a hospital. So they sicced their dog on him. They, you Andre, cut him down. I never met the man even once in his life. But I know he didn't deserve that. I know that he deserves vengeance. And giant spaghetti monster help anyone who gets in my way of extracting it. I will not only win this match, but I will paint the cell with your blood Andre Holmes! You have victimized your last metahuman... I promise you that.
Alex.. Alex..
Bonnie Blue's voice finally jars him back into reality. He looks around the cabin. He looks at Armand. He looks at Preecha. He looks at Bonnie. He smiles.
Alex Richards: Don't worry.. I got this.
Armand and Bonnie exchange a look.. having no clue what Alex has been thinking all that time. Alex however simply smiles contently.
Alex Richards: You guys got any Zim-Quila?
Bonnie laughs
Bonnie Blue: Please.. this is a Guardians meeting. I know you'd walk out if we didn't!
Alex grabs his boot full of booze. Then returns rejoining the meeting for real this time as the scene..
Fades To Black
Until we hear laughter
Alex Richards: Hey.. Zombie McMorris.. I'll bet you've been waiting for this haven't you? I know you were. That's why I saved you for last. That's why I made you wait. Just to piss you off. Shit, I even had this video re-edited so I could put you at the very end. You're not the only one who can troll Z Mac. Of course since I'm already a better wrestler then you and apparently a better troll as well I don't know what else is left for you Z Mac. I saw you on twitter this week Z Mac and you're lucky I don't have any respect for you. Because if I did I would have lost it there. You talking about how nobody else had said anything yet as of it actually meant something. It made me think.. how on earth is this guy world champion? Because it seems to me you don't have a clue how things actually work. You do know that the killing floor is a wrestling match, right? Or at least a street fight. One thing it definately isn't is a circle jerk. The one who gets their nut off first is not the winner, Zombie. I'm a professional fighter Zombie. I use every moment I can to prepare for my match. Especially a match like the killing floor. I spend all week getting ready, figuring out just what I need to say, just what I need to do in order to get the victory.
Alex Richards: But you? You speak like you fight Zombie. Sloppy. You sling shit like a monkey on heroin and hope that's going to be enough. Well guess what.. I'm Alex fucking Richards and it ain't even going to be close! I know exactly what you're thinking too. You're thinking I won four titles in the UCI so I must be doing something right. Well actually in Zombiespeak you're thinking.. LOL FGT. But as far as I'm concerned you haven't really done shit. Damian Kaine, Kevin Bishop, Biff and Buff Mustache, Shadowlove, NegaSonik. All those guys were the people you beat for titles. You notice a name missing from that list? Yeah.. Alex Richards. You never won a title from Alex Richards. But you fought me for a title once. You fought Bonnie Blue and I for the tag team championships just last month.
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: How'd that work out for you? Because I gotta say it worked out great for Bonnie and I. That tag team around my waist. The one I'm going to wear to the ring. I want you to remember that I took that from you. Bonnie even broke your arm. In a regular match mind you. Not a killing floor match. Imagine what she's going to do to you? If I don't get to you first that is. Well we are a tag team maybe we'll get to you at the same time. Maybe we'll fight over your body like a thanksgiving wishbone. Because if we rip you in half... do you die Zombie?
Alex Richards: I really don't know the answer to that question. But I'm dying to find out. But you should be worried Zombie. But you're too stupid to. Because here's a simple truth Z Mac.. that title win against you... it was easy compared to our last one. Team Rekless.. now that was a challenge. As little as I like Andre Holmes I will give him and Schlongson that. Z Mac and Kaz Mazy.. you were no Team Rekless. In fact for someone who prides himself in ending careers that match had to really hurt didn't it? Because we ended the career of the ZWO. Your tag team partner Kaz Mazy hasn't been seen since. We destroyed the Zombie World Order.. and it only took us minutes.
Alex Richards: But yet you still don't respect me. That's okay though. Like I said earlier I don't respect you either. But there's a difference. The difference being the reason why. Because as far as I'm concerned Zombie.. you're cheating. You're a coward. I think you're a lesser being than anyone in this match. Because you're the only who isn't risking anything. Sure.. you're putting that world title on the line. Big fucking deal. You lose the world title. You can always win it back. I'm going to do that this week. But everybody else.. they are putting their lives, their health, their careers on the line in the killing floor. But you aren't. Because you're a zombie Z Mac. So that makes me wonder. What kind of a zombie gets involved in competitive fighting with mere mortals? You don't feel pain like a human, you don't die like a human, if your bones are broken they don't heal slow like humans. Basically you're using your supernatural advantage to beat up on the weak. I find that pathetic Zombie. I think you need to pick on someone of your own strength. Someone who is willing to break every single bone in your body. I can't kill you Zombie.. but I damn sure fuck you up. And I damn sure you make you quit. Because in theory you should never lose. Because of your unfair advantage. But you do. So that makes me think.. even though the body is strong, maybe your heart is a little weak. Maybe when things get tough for you you chose to lose and fight another day. Don't worry Zombie.. in a thousand years you'll win the Killing Floor. But this year's Killing Floor belongs to me. You will heal... but I will fucking hurt you Zombie. You could use your powers to do good. You could use them to do evil. But mostly.. you just use them in the least interesting, more slackerish way possible. You're lazy Zombie and this WILL be your downfall.
Now we fade to black