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Post by Red Queen on Oct 24, 2017 19:38:11 GMT -6
Can I please get feed back please
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Post by Jack "The Crack" Schlongson on Oct 25, 2017 16:49:20 GMT -6
Really strong way to start your RP by presenting a legitimate grievance for your character and letting that more or less set their mood for the RP. Even think her frustration stems over to the promo, creating a consistent tone. Also seems like you've been steadily developing the character, which I imagine can be hard with the word limit.
While I felt largely the promo reflected the character's mood and attitude, one small note I would make is be careful of repetitious word use. For example you tended to rely a bit on 'whore' and 'match'. Its not a huge deal, but using a bit more variety will help a stronger read.
You definitely seem to be consistently improving, which is great, so keep it up. Hope any of this is helpful.
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Post by Red Queen on Oct 26, 2017 2:53:13 GMT -6
Why thanks. And yeah also had that same problem in school o tend to use the same words alot...gonna have to stray away from that
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Post by hippoharry on Oct 26, 2017 5:12:38 GMT -6
I enjoy her toughness. Red, ya really bring it when stuff gets rough. Although she could be more of a good guy/gal. Do less with names calling and more about how good you is. We know Red gonna beat some A. Let your fists do that 'cause talk cheap 🔇🥊 Got a lot of energy in there, release it, get meaner, girl, let it fly gunsling'a 🔫
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Post by Red Queen on Oct 26, 2017 16:46:35 GMT -6
Definitely will try that
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Post by hippoharry on Oct 26, 2017 18:38:34 GMT -6
Nou doubt, you got this Red 💯💯
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