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Post by Corey Bull on Sept 26, 2017 22:02:27 GMT -6
Threw up a quick CD under the Expanded Universe, just wanted peoples thoughts on the character so far.
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Post by Corey Bull on Oct 15, 2017 15:45:50 GMT -6
Any feedback on any of the rps I have done would be of great help......so BUMP!
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Post by Preecha Kamon on Oct 15, 2017 17:06:11 GMT -6
Any feedback on any of the rps I have done would be of great help......so BUMP! I'm about to read your RP in a moment here! |
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Post by Preecha Kamon on Oct 15, 2017 17:36:10 GMT -6
So, let me start by saying the RP is definitely, above all else, solidly structured and to the point. Brevity is a very underrated tool many have a hard time with but I feel like you excelled. You definitely master your character's voice and nothing seems out of place for how you have developed him. The shoot is nice and smooth, goes from one point to the next without any jarring elements to the flow and that is quite the accomplishment. Your character development is purposeful and not fluff by any means. It is trimmed of any fat and lets you know exactly what is going on.
But, I think with that said, there could be more expanded upon. Not that it is a negative by any means but I feel like you have room to do more; to add more dynamic with a little bit more complicated scenes. By that I mean, going beyond just the psychosis of the character and playing out scenarios in fuller scenes. Now, it isn't necessary but I feel you do leave it open for the possibility. And maybe that is to speak for your talent as a writer as it makes me want to see more.
It is early in your character's run and so there is plenty of time to expand on the character. If you work towards it, you definitely have a character that can reach for the stars in this fed!
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