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Post by Cormack MacNeill on Aug 27, 2017 3:47:12 GMT -6
I'd love to get some feedback on my rp this week. I ended up having to trim some bits to shoehorn into he word count limit, so it's not quite what I had in mind.
After a lengthy break, I'm still searching for Cormack's voice. Constructive criticism is strongly recommended
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Post by Kaz on Aug 27, 2017 14:59:36 GMT -6
I don't think there's an issue with Cormack's "voice" per de, he just needs an antagonist to open his dialogue up. The Rising Stars limit kind of holds you back in this regard because you want to spend the words you have promoting your character, so maybe some Extended Universe type posts can help in that regard?
Welcome to UCI, Cormack!
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Post by Cormack MacNeill on Aug 27, 2017 15:48:37 GMT -6
Great feedback Kaz.
Glad to be back in the swing of things. I have been knocking around a few 'Extended Universe" storylines in my head. Good thing I have all that extra space
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2017 16:17:02 GMT -6
Agree w/ Kaz there, using the extended universe really helped with my voice - because we don't have some luxuries in the ur length of speech. Every time you can make him talk--I'd say go for it. It doesn't have to be Twitter either. You can make 500 - 2k (or less) vignettes on the extended universe thread. So buy him a beer every now and then.
Mac has a huge personality--that's what I enjoy most about his promos. From the bag pipes to dive bars, you have the direction nailed down. I think his big thing is getting more matches in too. We've had collectivley, what, 7 or 8 now?
A simple few add-ins: more theme, more emotional range and, as Kaz said too, this action figure needs a bad guy. Everything else will sew these seams shut.
You're doing a great job with the limit, spawning some fun vingettes. I've certianly enjoyed the character so far. GL tonight!
- U's handler
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