Chicago Nights
May 29, 2016 13:56:49 GMT -6
"Mr. God" Benjamin Atreyu, John Gable, and 3 more like this
Post by Kyle Cameron on May 29, 2016 13:56:49 GMT -6
KYLE CAMERON PROMO #2 - Chicago Nights
I woke up in a daze, no idea where the hell I was. It must've been about two hours or so I was out, I vividly remember being in the ring and winning my match, then nothing else. My ring attire was still on me too, my MGMT shirt and khakis. After getting up and readjusting myself, I saw where I had been laying for the past two hours: the wreckage of the UCI Backstage Interview Backdrop. Meaning I was still in the Warehouse.
Kyle Cameron: SHIT! My flight!
I had gotten tickets for a flight back to Lafayette as soon as Overload went off the air. No doubt it was long gone by now. Shit. Shit. SHIT. What am I gonna do? I stated going into panic mode, running around the gorilla position looking for anyone who was still there.
Kyle Cameron: Hello? Anyone here? I need help! Please!
No luck. The Warehouse seemed to be closing down for the night, a successful first show in the books. Anyone who I passed by looked at me funny, refusing to speak to me. My pleas were falling on deaf ears. Fuck man, my mom is gonna KILL me.
Finally, it seemed as though I had run out of people to bug. Everyone was gone, and I was prepared for the lights to shut off on me and the doors to lock shut. I can already imagine my phone blowing up with texts and calls from my mom. "Where r you bby?" "Are u safe?" "Plz text back." She never did learn how to properly text/use proper grammar using the phone, but her heart is always in the right place. Mi madre didn't need this kind of worry in her life, I needed to get home FAST.
When all hope seemed lost, a brief flicker of hope came to me, the flicker of the lights in the office of Management. Someone was still in there, and by god they were going to help me even if I had to beg. I made my way into the office, and sure enough there was someone there. Mr. John Gable, one fourth of Management, a big ole' scowl on his face, mindlessly looking down at his phone. From what I heard about the guy that seemed to be all he did, look at his phone. He didn't even notice me walk into his office, forcing me to speak up.
Finally, it seemed as though I had run out of people to bug. Everyone was gone, and I was prepared for the lights to shut off on me and the doors to lock shut. I can already imagine my phone blowing up with texts and calls from my mom. "Where r you bby?" "Are u safe?" "Plz text back." She never did learn how to properly text/use proper grammar using the phone, but her heart is always in the right place. Mi madre didn't need this kind of worry in her life, I needed to get home FAST.
When all hope seemed lost, a brief flicker of hope came to me, the flicker of the lights in the office of Management. Someone was still in there, and by god they were going to help me even if I had to beg. I made my way into the office, and sure enough there was someone there. Mr. John Gable, one fourth of Management, a big ole' scowl on his face, mindlessly looking down at his phone. From what I heard about the guy that seemed to be all he did, look at his phone. He didn't even notice me walk into his office, forcing me to speak up.
Kyle Cameron: Excuse me, Mr. Gable?
No answer. Still browsing on his phone.
Kyle Cameron: Mr. Gable, I've got an urgent matter that I need taken care of right n-
A single hand went up, signaling me to hold my horses. A few seconds later, Gable finally put his phone away long enough to actually speak with me.
John Gable: What is it? I don't have time to be dealing with you right now Mr...Mr...
Kyle Cameron: Cameron.
John Gable: Oh yeah, that Kyle guy. Right.
Kyle Cameron: Listen, I need to meet up with a...buddy of mine in Lafayette, and I missed my flight, is there any way you can schedule another one for me.
John Gable: You're kidding me. You've got to be kidding me. Why can't you do it yourself, you've gotten paid tonight, right?
Kyle Cameron: Well the thing is, I just woke up, so I kinda...haven't gotten paid yet.
John Gable: OH. Oh. I remember you now. You're the guy Frank kicked through the backdrop.
Kyle Cameron: WHAT?
John Gable: ...and you don't even remember. That's precious.
No fucking way. This guy had to have been making this shit up. No way I could've let myself get humiliated like that on TV. He had to be lying. After a brief fit of laughter, Gable scrounged around a filing cabinet and handed me an envelope.
John Gable: There's your pay. That's all I'm doin though, I ain't scheduling no flights at this time of night. You're on your own, kiddo.
Kyle Cameron: Well thanks...I guess.
John Gable: No problem. And by the way...
I turned to him just as I began walking out of the office.
John Gable: Try not to get fucked up much more tonight, you look like a mess.
Well SHIT. There goes my own chance at getting help. Now I was all by myself, sitting outside The Warehouse all by my lonesome. I had phoned up my mom after leaving Gable's office letting her know I was hanging out at my friend Cody's house and that I didn't know when I would be back. She sounded happy that I was spending some time outside the house hanging with a friend, since she knew I didn't have many. In reality Cody was just a name I made up on the spot, I knew no one with that name. While on one hand I felt horrible for lying to her like this, it was a necessary lie to keep her from asking where I was, lest she find out I was all the way in fucking Chicago.
I took a quick glance at my check. Couple hundred bucks, direct deposit. Looks like I got a couple extra bucks for winning. Damn straight. At least I had some spending money on me out here. Quick glance at my watch showed me it was a little past midnight. Good. If I'm gonna be stuck in this city for the night I might as well make the most of it.
After a bit of searching I finally came across a 24 hour liquor store not too far from the Warehouse. I walked inside and as soon as I did the clerk, a shifty lookin' dude who seemed like the type of guy who'd sell you human body parts if you asked him nicely, shot a dirty look at me. I paid him no mind, instead grabbing what I came for and marching straight to the counter. The place looked exactly like you'd imagine a 244 liquor joint would look, packed with booze and kinda dingey, but shit it's the best I could do right now.
I took a quick glance at my check. Couple hundred bucks, direct deposit. Looks like I got a couple extra bucks for winning. Damn straight. At least I had some spending money on me out here. Quick glance at my watch showed me it was a little past midnight. Good. If I'm gonna be stuck in this city for the night I might as well make the most of it.
After a bit of searching I finally came across a 24 hour liquor store not too far from the Warehouse. I walked inside and as soon as I did the clerk, a shifty lookin' dude who seemed like the type of guy who'd sell you human body parts if you asked him nicely, shot a dirty look at me. I paid him no mind, instead grabbing what I came for and marching straight to the counter. The place looked exactly like you'd imagine a 244 liquor joint would look, packed with booze and kinda dingey, but shit it's the best I could do right now.
Kyle Cameron: Two bottles of Fireball, por favor.
Clerk: Sure, I just need to see some I.D.
He said those last two words as if he had caught me red handed. HA! you little scum, I know you're not old enough to buy booze, get outta my store and go buy a juicebox from Wal Mart. I could only smirk as I pulled out my I.D and handed it to him.
LOUISIANA
PERSONAL DRIVER'S LISCENSE
CAMERON, KYLE DELAIN
DATE OF BIRTH - 11/08/1993
SEX - M
HGT - 6' 0"
WGT - 210
PERSONAL DRIVER'S LISCENSE
CAMERON, KYLE DELAIN
DATE OF BIRTH - 11/08/1993
SEX - M
HGT - 6' 0"
WGT - 210
Another dirty look from the clerk, as I handed him my debit card with a cheeky grin. The fake ID always works. Always. He bagged my goods and handed them back along with my card without saying a word. Kyle 1, Clerk 0.
With about a bottle of Fireball gone now, I stumbled my way to the next destination. Obviously now that I've quenched my thirst, it was only right to quench my hunger too. And when you're in the mood for food at night where do you go? Fuckin Waffle House of course. The people who work there don't judge you, probably cause they're too busy hating both each other and themselves to care. Perfect place for after hours drunken dinner.
I walked in. There were a few other fellow ne'erdowells with me. I paid them no mind, taking a seat in a small booth in the corner of the restaurant. A waitress came up to take my order of a burger and hashbrown. To my credit given how inebriated I was at the time, I think I came off quite coherent and not out of my mind. I didn't even get any dirty looks from the waitress. Perhaps she actually knew and didn't care. Perhaps.
Getting more and more bored waiting for my order, I took out my phone and engaged in some John Gable-esque web browsing. A quick check of the UCI Website. Apparently it wasn't a fever dream, I actually WAS moving forward in the tourney. And my next opponent? Chase Jackson.
I walked in. There were a few other fellow ne'erdowells with me. I paid them no mind, taking a seat in a small booth in the corner of the restaurant. A waitress came up to take my order of a burger and hashbrown. To my credit given how inebriated I was at the time, I think I came off quite coherent and not out of my mind. I didn't even get any dirty looks from the waitress. Perhaps she actually knew and didn't care. Perhaps.
Getting more and more bored waiting for my order, I took out my phone and engaged in some John Gable-esque web browsing. A quick check of the UCI Website. Apparently it wasn't a fever dream, I actually WAS moving forward in the tourney. And my next opponent? Chase Jackson.
Kyle Cameron's inner thoughts: fuck everything about this chase jackson guy fuckin suplex city reject thinkin he can stop my REIGN of DOMINANCE bitch get in line i mean just look at thiss butt ugly face of his would you make out with it I KNOW I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T thinkin he can make up for having no charisma by having "technical skills" BITCH i'm the most charismatic person you'll ever be in the viCINITY of do you understand what i'm saying to you right now there's a reason his theme song is called broken mirrors because everytime he looks in the mirror IT BREAKS because o' how UGLY he is jesus fucking christ bitch ass thinking he can add "variety" to his bland as oatmeal moveset by adding top rope moves BITCH if this guy was a bird he'd be a penguin cause PENGUINS SUCK AT FLYING for fuckin real and just like the egg of a penguin imma craack his skull open with a DEVASTATING SHOW STOPPER there's a reason i call thaat shit the show stopper CAUSE IT STOPS SHOWS you feel me son i mean this fucking loser got a whole posse of people who hype him up to himself like he hot shit BITCH i don't need a posse of people tellin me im good I already know im good THAT IS A QUANTIFIABLE FACT suck my dick YOU FUCKIN LOSER BEFORE I MAKE YOU HUMBLE AT OVERLOAD-
My train of thought stopped dead in it's tracks as I noticed everyone in the restaurant looking at me weirdly. I must've been thinking out loud again. Oops.
I then looked down at my phone and noticed I wasn't even looking at a picture of Chase Jackson but instead a picture of Colt Cabana. Double oops.
The waitress from before handed me my food before getting the fuck away from me. I felt silly for my outburst and tried to eat my burger in peace before a hazy yet familiar face sat beside me in the booth with a steaming hot cup of coffee in his hand.
I then looked down at my phone and noticed I wasn't even looking at a picture of Chase Jackson but instead a picture of Colt Cabana. Double oops.
The waitress from before handed me my food before getting the fuck away from me. I felt silly for my outburst and tried to eat my burger in peace before a hazy yet familiar face sat beside me in the booth with a steaming hot cup of coffee in his hand.
FPV: You know Kyle, if you wanted to talk shit about Chase, all you had to do was call me.
Kyle Cameron: Fuck you, Frank. What are you doing here and why are you drinking coffee this goddamn early in the morning?
FPV: Never too early to start your day the right way, Kyle. You would do well to know that instead of drinking...whatever it is you've been drinking tonight.
Kyle Cameron: I don't need this shit right now man.
FPV: Still made about that Headshot, eh?
Kyle Cameron: I don't know what you're talking about.
FPV: You don't remember being sent right into the UCI backdrop?
Kyle Cameron: Nope.
FPV: Well then, either you're repressing the memory hardcore or my superkick musta scrambled your dome harder then I thought.
Kyle Cameron: Can you just leave me be, man? I've already made enough of a douche out of myself tonight, I don't need to you getting all up in my business.
FPV: Well actually, if you calm down for just a minute I can actually help you out a bit.
I thought about it for a moment. Should I just tell him to fuck off or actually listen to what he has to say. Decisions, decisions.
Kyle Cameron: Go on.
FPV: I overheard you in Gable's office, saying you need a flight to Laffy. I'm headed there myself to pay my brother a visit. Give me an interview that doesn't end with me kicking you in the fuckin chin and I'll let you fly with me.
Kyle Cameron: Why do you care so much about helping me out, man?
FPV: To be honest, I feel kinda bad about the whole "superkick" business, and I wanna make up for it. That and I kinda pity you at this moment in time. A little mixture of both.
I grumbled a bit. Every bit of me wanted to tell him to fuck off, but this was my best shot at getting back home, so I gritted my teeth and let him have his way with me.
Kyle Cameron: Fine. You can have your interview. Just get me out of here as soon as we're done.
FPV: Groovy.
He got his phone out and began recording. I hoped the people at home wouldn't hear how drunk I was on this recording.
FPV: So Mr. Cameron, let me be the first to congratulate you on your first win in the UCI. Even with all the people who will no doubt complain about it's legitimacy, a win is a win, so good job.
Kyle Cameron: Thanks. I guess.
FPV: So obviously now you move along in the World title tourny, and your next opponent is one Chase Jackson. How do you feel about your chances.
Kyle Cameron: It's not even a question in my mind that I'm gonna win. It's a straight up certainty at this point. Chase needs a whole team of yes men like Seth Colt to tell him how awesome he is. I'm not about that whole Yes Man business, feel me son? I don't need to be told I'm the best, because no matter what anyone else says in this damn fed, I know deep in my heart of hearts that I AM the best, and everybody else is a fuckin loser who needs to get on my level. You know it, Management knows it, fuck even CHASE knows it deep down. That's talent.
FPV: I see. Next question, I'm curious, how do you feel about Chase Jackson as a person?
Kyle Cameron: I fucking hate him and everything he stands for. Motherfucker goes around saying "Embrace the Babyface." Like we get it, you shaved and feel bad that you look like a toddler, you don't need to remind us at the end of every promo you fuck. But if I could be serious for a moment, the only reason a loser like you would even need to say embrace the babyface is if you have something hidden. No one goes around saying they're such a good guy unless they have skeletons in their closets. If I were you Chase I'd embrace every bit of darkness in me and say "yeah I'm the bad guy, deal with it BITCH." The fact that you're holding back to try and shill merch means you've already lost the war. Cause unless you have that edge, don't even consider yourself on my level you scrub.
FPV: We all know Chase is being trained by a former World Competitor in Chris Avery. Does that deter you at all?
Kyle Cameron: You ever seen Chris Avery's title history. Does it look like he's won anything important?
FPV: Well...not exactly.
Kyle Cameron: Then I have nothing to worry about. Chase Jackson is getting back alley training from a bum for all I care. His moveset is super limited, Chase only knows how to do two things, jump and throw. As long as I stay speedy enough to avoid any suplexes I'm gucci. Lock in No Pain, No Gain and maybe break his legs to make him even more useless. Yeah...yeah, that sounds like a plan, wouldn't you say?
FPV: I suppose so. Let's switch gears for a bit, is there anyone else on the UCI roster that you want to wrestle soon?
Kyle Cameron: Hmm, that's a good one. I guess number one on my list would be that dickface Andre holmes, just so I can tell him to shut the fuck and show him who the real champ is. After him would be Kyle Kemp for having the fucking gall to use the name "The Main Attraction" when we all know that's ME. Then after that, a combination of Erinn Fausse, Thursday, and Bonnie Blue, for my umm...personal enjoyment.
FPV: I'm surprised you haven't mention DIAVOLO in that group.
Kyle Cameron: Fuck no, I ain't into femdom.
FPV: Ahh, I gotchu. Finally Mr. Cameron, any parting words for Chase?
Kyle Cameron: Fuck you Chase Jackson you no good dick ridin' toddler faced suplex botching milk drinking poop stain.
After the interview FPV brought me to his flight where I fell asleep and had a wet dream about being dominated sexually by Alessandra Malignaggi.