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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:06:45 GMT -6
Opener
Nova-Kaine’s Open Challenge Sah’ta Thor vs. Nova-Kaine
Little Bit More by Jidenna plays through the Staples Center as we are greeted by the announcers.
Jimmy Garcia: We're gonna begin Summermania with a one on one match-up in a Nova Kaine's Open Challenge Match.
Sebastian Reid: We have Nova Kaine stepping up against Sah'ta Thor.
Gravedigger: This should be an interesting match!!
"Paper Cut" by Linkin Park starts blaring across the arena and red beams of light aim at the entrance of the ramp. Nova walks out with the beat of music controlling his movements and he bows to the fans in attendance. Nova throws up a salute and he runs down the ramp full speed.
Taylor Lorde: Coming down to the ring... From Columbus, Ohio!! Weighing in at 205 pounds... The Extreme "High" Flyer!!
At the end of the run way, Nova slides into the ring and pops up in the middle of the ring. He moves to the music a bit more before ascending the far right ring corner, where he bows to the fans. Nova leaps off the top rope and rests against the corner to await his opponent.
Gravedigger: Spencer Adams needs to do the right thing and administer surprise drug testing and see who would pass and who fail!! Where would Mr. "Nova-Kaine" fall? Straight to a methadone clinic!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Jimmy Garcia: That's not funny!!!
The opening riff to "Ruina Imperii" by Sabaton echoes through the arena's speaker system as the lights dim. A few seconds pass before an almost demonic looking Sah'ta Thor. He is dressed in a pair of black jeans and a red t-shirt with a golden pattern of the Seven Deadly Sins with the words Sin Incarnate in white. After a moment of standing at the top of the ramp He starts towards the ring with a purposeful stride.
Taylor Lorde: Approaching the ring... From Parts Unknown, weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds... The Raging Storm... Sah'ta Thor!!!
Getting to the ring he looks at his foe for the night with a look that promises impending. After a moment he pulls off his shirt revealing his scarred toned muscular upper body. He turns and starts pacing in the ring as he awaits his opponents much like a caged animal as he waits for the starting bell.
Jimmy Garcia: Both competitors lock up... Sah'ta Thor pushes Nova Kaine away!!
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
Sebastian Reid: Spinning back fist by The Raging Storm!!
The Extreme High Flyer stumbles back. With determination, charges Sah'ta Thor...
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
Gravedigger: Enzuigiri!!
Sah'ta Thor drops to the mat, which Nova Kaine picks him up....
THWACK!!!
Jimmy Garcia: The Raging Storm struck Nova Kaine with a Kesagiri chop!!
Sebastian Reid: The Hero of the Underdogs is down!!
The crowd: NOVA!!! NOVA!! NOVA!! NOVA!! NOVA!!
Sah'ta Thor: SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!
The Raging Storm proceeds to stomp on Nova Kaine, who struggles to stand up.
Jimmy Garcia: Sah'ta Thor whips Nova Kaine into the ropes...
Sebastian Reid: Nova Kaine bounces off the ropes... leaps over Sah'ta Thor...
Gravedigger: Dropkick!! Another Dropkick!! Nope!! This this time third strike your out!!
Sah'ta Thor bites the forehead of Nova Kaine....
Jimmy Garcia: IT BITES A FOREHEAD!!
Nova Kaine wipes his forehead and sees blood, goes berserk
Jimmy Garcia: Uh oh!!
Nova Kaine kicks Sah'ta Thor in the midsection then....
WHOOSH-WHAM!!!
Gravedigger: TWIST OF FATE!!
The Extreme Cruiserweight hurries over to the corner and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Without any hesitation, Nova Kaine flies off...
WHAM-BAM-KABOOOOOOOOMIE!!!
Sebastian Reid: Ode to Danny D!! High angle frog splash!!
Gravedigger is starting to laugh.
Jimmy Garcia: What's so funny?!
Gravedigger: All that?! ALL THAT?! THAT'S IT?! That is why Sah'ta Thor laying there laughing his ass off, waiting.
Sebastian Reid: Waiting for what?!
Gravedigger: Waiting for this!!!
Nova Kaine grabs for Sah'ta Thor...
THWACK!!!
Jimmy Garcia: Two chops to the throat, a roundhouse kick to the head, followed by a heart punch!! That's the Sah'ta Combo!!
Sah'ta Thor grabs Nova Kaine hangs him upside down on the turnbuckles then charges at him full steam, hits him with a running knee!!
Gravedigger: CROM'S EMBRACE!!
Nova Kaine collapses to the mat. Sah'ta Thor drags him to the center of the ring...
The crowd: ONE!!
The crowd: TWO!!
The crowd: THREEEEE!!!!
Taylor Lorde: The winner of the match... Sah'ta Thor!!! |
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:08:39 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:09:41 GMT -6
Sam Kidsgrove vs. Joe Smarts
Jimmy Garcia: Welcome to SummerMania!
Gravedigger: And what an card we have for this sold out ppv event live in Los Angeles, California at the Staples Center!
Sebastian Reid: That triple threat world title match is going to be LIT! But first let's get to our opening match.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing first the self proclaimed smartest man in UCI, JOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE SMARTS!
The opening beats of 'Catgroove' plays throughout the arena as the crowd goes silent. As the music continues, a faint voice echoes around the arena. The only words that are understandable are
'Dams it, the mic is toos quiet.'
Then a deafening voice can be heard over the arena saying
'HERE COME... OH FUCKS, IT TOOS LOUD!!!'
Finally, as the final part of the opening beats of Catgroove plays, a reasonably loud microphone can be heard throughout the arena.
'Here come the World Smartsest Man, Captain Bruddahhood, JOE SMAAAAAARTS!!!!
Then the crowd realises that Joe fiddled with the mic volume, and they cheer out loud when he struts out on stage, doing a Scotty 2 Hotty dance down, I suppose, as the main part of Catgroove plays.
Joe climbs up the steps, and falls over the ropes into the ring. He then taps his head, as he fails to try and display his 'intelligence'.
Taylor Lorde: And uh, his opponent,
There are lots of spotlights swirling around the arena as the Universal Studios fanfare hits the audio system. After the initial fanfare and the breakdown, Sam Kidsgrove launches himself through the curtain and starts walking down the red carpet that the backstage crew put down for him. He throws a massive grin on his face while striking a pose in his tuxedo on the ramp for the paparazzi. He walks down the ramp, going to each side and talking to the fans, signing autographs and taking interviews. Shaking a lot of hands. The ramp walk lasts a good five minutes because of this. When he finally gets to the ring, he turns to the crowd and performs a deep theatrical bow. Then rolls into the ring under the bottom rope and immediately climbs a turnbuckle, grinning at the crowd and doing yet more poses, such as the double gun salute, the “Hey I know you” wave and the classic Magnum.
Taylor and all of the female audience plus a few males all sigh SAM KIDSGROVE loudly in unison scaring Joe Smarts.
Joe goes to tie up with Sam but trips over his own feet and Sam capitalizes on it with a pin fall.
Female crowd and few guys: 1!...2….Thr..OH! Sammy Sammy Sammy!
Sam raises Joe to his feet and whips him into the turnbuckle.
Sebastian Reid: Looks like the Actor is begging Joe to come get some!
Jimmy Garcia: And here comes the Smartest man alive!
Gravedigger: Well if you believe that I have oceanfront...OH! Stunt double from Sam Kidsgrove and the crowd is going wild.
Sam Turns Joe around and unleashes with chops and forearms to the lanky man’s quickly reddening chest.
Crowd: MARRY ME SAM!
Sam turns and runs to the opposite corner and blows the crowd a kiss, before heading back and nearly kicking off Joe Smarts head.
Sebastian Reid: Scene 2! That might be a wrap! NO! Sam isn't done yet with Joe Smarts, Suplex!
Gravedigger: Three more! Wait goddamn how many this boy got in him, he suplexing that handicapped boy all around the damn ring, And 7 suplexes! No 8, 9..
Female crowd: 10!!! Sammy Sammy Sammy!!
Joe stands up groggy as all hell before he is blasted by Sam’s running Knee. Smarts drops like a sack of potatoes and Sam goes in for the pin.
1
2
3
Gravedigger: don't even Sebastian or I’ll make you eat your teeth.
Sebastian Reid: What?
Gravedigger: No more damn movie jokes let's just go to the next match. |
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:10:42 GMT -6
El Payaso Loco vs. Suzi Spitz
Gravedigger: Now we get to watch something really special that little masked fuck vs some chick with big tits I can't wait.
Sebastian Reid: Oh god, I am glad we are on ppv for this show. Any way Uci Summermania is brought to you by the Dumb and Dumber Remake starring our own Sam Kidsgrove!
Gravedigger: Way to miss your spot. This is why you don't wrestle anymore huh? Always late. Anyway onto the mexican vs the pornstar. Think i seen that on pornhub somewhere
Taylor Lorde: Introducing first from The Rabbit Hole, El Payaso Loco!
The opening riff of "Let's Go" hits the PA as the lights lower. Red, white and green spotlights flicker around the entrance ramp, falling onto one central space. At that point, they focus upwards as Payaso Loco descends from the rafters on a cord of some form, landing safely on the ground. He detaches himself from the cord, making a beeline for the ring and jumping from the floor, over the top rope and into the ring. He flies up to the nearest turnbuckle, his arms outstretched as he takes in the reaction from the fans.
Taylor Lorde: And his opponent from New Orleans, Louisiana, Suzi Spitz!
Suzi walks out to the ring while men stare at her rack. She climbs into the ring and the bell sounds.
Sebastian Reid: OH wasting no time, Payaso Loco nails a Disaster Kick and knocks Suzi out cold.
Jimmy Garcia: He is up on the turnbuckle again and OH! Coupe De Grace! The finishing blow.
Gravedigger: Spence and his talent relations need to find better talent.
Jimmy Garcia: Agreed a win for Loco but not much of one for the audience but the next match should be a real treat. Triple threat action in the rising stars division when we come back! |
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:11:20 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:12:19 GMT -6
Rising Stars Match Matt Angel vs. Cheyenne vs. Oblivion
Sebastian Reid: Time to get freaky Jimmy.
Gravedigger: Why do we keep you around Reid?
Sebastian Reid: Well I appeal to a certain demographic.
Taylor Lorde: The following is a triple threat Rising Star Division match. Introducing first from right here in Los Angeles California, Matt Angel!!
"I will Show You" By From Ashes To New blasts from the PA system, Matt Angel walks out and with his arms raised he walks down the ramp way high-fiving the fans. He jumps onto the apron and climbs the turnbuckle and also celebrates cheering to the fans.
Taylor Lorde: and his opponent, from Chicago IL, Chhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyeeeeeeenneeee!!!
I'm Gonna Show you Crazy by Nightcore Hits. Then a red headed woman in a figure shrouding tattered black and moss colored floor length Overcoat burst threw the curtain, spasticity shaking her head back and forth. In her hand she holds a black leather bag that appears to be alive. The lights flicker off and on to the beat giving the appearance that the woman is blinking in and out towards the ring. Upon reaching the the squared circle, she puts the bag into her mouth then pulls herself up onto the apron then backbends over the top rope flipping into the ring. Holding the bag high above her head she drops the coat revealing underneath a tightly fitted dark green and black top and tight green pants with knee high black boots.
Taylor Lorde: And their opponent, from From The Deepest and Darkest Side of a Sick Man's Mind, OBLIVION!!!!!!!!!!!!
The house lights go out, as lighter colored lights come on. The multiple cameras pan around the jam packed Arena. The fans are holding up various signs. The atmosphere is explosive and the crowd is cheering. "Oblivion" by Mastadon begins to play. The blaring guitar begins to play.
The house lights go out. The crowd begins to murmur. Strobe lights begin to flash, as bright white lasers begin to flash. Two bright spotlights hit the entrance stage. The music continues to thump. Some of the fans are thrashing and/or dancing a long with the music...
BOOM!!
Explosive fire pyro shoots straight up, on the stage and down the ramp. Then right about that time, Oblivion slowly comes, with a dead stare. The music continues the blare out and rattled the arena.
Oblivion slowly begins to walk down to the edge of the entrance stage, bringing in the cheers, of the crowd...
Crowd: OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!!
Past the entrance stage there are sixteen hooded cloaked individuals, eight on each side of the aisle, with their heads down. Chanting...
Hooded individuals: A-WHOO!! AWHOO!! AWHOO!!
Ring Announcer: From The Deepest and Darkest Side of a Sick Man's Mind... Weighing in at 325 pounds... IT is The Monster... Oblivion!!
Oblivion drags IT's right leg as drags along a sledgehammer. The Monster sneers at a nearby camera, right before Oblivion slowly run up the steel steps and climb the turnbuckle from out the ring, once again throwing up IT's massive right arm.
Crowd: OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!!
Oblivion leaps into the ring, stomping around, taking long strides, barking, shaking the top ring rope..
Before the bell can ring Chey goes to attack Matt but he ducks and she about hits Oblivion. The redhead stops short as the large masked man glares down at her she grins a wicked grin and gets on all fours as she slides backwards through a confused Matt Angel’s legs.
Sebastian Reid: Looks like Cheyenne wants none of the big monster Obi.
Gravedigger: Well wants it or not Matt just got a large boot to the face!
Obi then drops a leg onto Matt, while on the outside Cheyenne is seated in the corner of the barricade laughing.
Jimmy Garcia: But looks like Matt Angel is firing back, trying to chop the big man down at the knees with a mix of kicks.
Matt ducks a right fist and goes under the arm. He bounces off the ropes and hits a chop block that brings the big man to a knee. Matt unleashes with a Flurry of blows that Oblivion covers up for.
Sebastian Reid: Matt has the big man where he needs him now! But wait, what's that charlatan doing?
Cheyenne Slides in the ring as Matt attempts a ddt on the kneeling Oblivion. She slithers up behind the Extreme Icon and kicks him in the back of the head with a roundhouse kick. Cheyenne mounts the downed man as Obi shakes his head trying to regain his bearings. The red headed fiend locks in an Omoplata on Matt Angel, but quickly releases it as Oblivion rises to his feet and advances towards the pair.
Jimmy Garcia: Oblivion doesn't quite know what to think of the fiery red head Cheyenne’s actions. The two have locked eyes for the second time now but again Cheyenne slides out.
Cheyenne walks slowly over to the announce table and climbs up on it and lies down across it.
Sebastian Reid: What is..
Gravedigger: Not sure now is the time to ask tough guy.
Meanwhile back in the ring Oblivion has Matt in a double underhook.
Jimmy Garcia: The monster looking to give Matt Angel a Dirt Nap! But no Matt fights out and hits a dropkick! Big man is rocked but not down. Matt with an enziguri rocking the monster again.
OBI: HIT IT AGAIN LIL MAN!!!!
Sebastian Reid: Well that got Cheyenne to sit up at least. Obi looks pissed as he is dropped to a knee again. Matt Is hitting the monster hard with those muay thai kicks.
Cheyenne slides in and goes to hit Matt from behind but is knocked out of the equation with a Pele kick. Matt explodes up with a super kick knocking Oblivion to the mat.
Matt Goes for the pin but Oblivion sits up. Matt is taken back so steps back but runs into Cheyenne who throws him into the monster. Obi catches Matt and drops him with the double underhook DDT.
Jimmy Garcia: Dirt Nap! Oblivion gets the win!
Sebastian Reid: Yeah but with that psychos help.
Gravedigger: A W is a W no matter how obtained.
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:13:34 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:15:48 GMT -6
Hollywood Deathmatch “Evil” Paul Rudd vs. Alex Richards
Gravedigger: Up next is the greatest mistake Alex Richards has ever made, signing to face Evil Paul Rudd in his own match, the Hollywood Death Match.
Jimmy Garcia: Alex Richards is a former world champion. An early legendary UCI performer. Throughout his year in the UCI it's been shown time and time again. You don't want to face an angry Alex Richards. And after what Paul Rudd has done to him for months on end, I don't know if I've ever seen Alex this angry.
Sebastian Reid: Normally I would agree with that. But after seeing the way Alex begging for his brother to make sure his girlfriend doesn't get hurt tonight. I'm not sure.
Gravedigger: Why is Alex letting Rebecca come anyways? That's almost as stupid as signing this match in the first place! Let's go to the live feed from Hollywood and we'll see what Alex has gotten himself into.
Sebastian Reid: The only rules we know are.. pinfalls and submissions only count if the victor decides to allow the match to end. Otherwise death is the only way to finish the fight. Besides that your guess is as good as mine.
Gravedigger: Gentlemen.. we are about to witness the end of a Guardian.
Alex Richards consults a piece of paper and mutters.
Alex Richards: Where the fuck is Rudd. This is where I'm supposed to meet him. I swear if he chickened out.
Alex looks around and is immediately blindsided with a diving clothesline by Paul Rudd from the golf cart he was driving.
Evil Paul Rudd: You stupid idiot! You dare face me in my fucking match! You don't know shit. You don't have anything about what I have planned for you!
Paul slams Alex's head into the side of what appears to be a metal sound stage. He opens the door and tosses Alex inside.
Revealing what appears to be the set of Paul Rudd's Hollywood Death Match. There are weapons everywhere. There are several rows of steel folding chairs, as well as a regal looking throne with Rebecca's name over top of it. There is a wrestling ring towards the back of the room, and a stage at the front.
Alex fights back connecting with a series of hard punches rocking Paul Rudd. He picks him up and slams him on the floor before tossing him right onto the stage.
Evil Paul Rudd: Stagehand! A little help please!
Alex snap suplexes Rudd on the stage then begins to garvin stomp him hard.. the wooden stage creaking each time Alex stomps. Until a stagehand dressed in black sneaks onto the stage, tasering Alex Richards right in the small of the back.
Jimmy Garcia: This is a set up!
Evil Paul Rudd gets up kneeing Alex several times in the back.
Evil Paul Rudd: Did I forget to mention the best part? This is my stage Alex! My production! You know what that means? That means I have my own stagehands.. my own production assistants! And they do anything I want! Anything.. I mean if I say.. hey.. bring me a piano!
Two stagehands come out from backstage pushing a piano.
Evil Paul Rudd: Thank you.
Paul blasts Alex with the piano bench.. then drags him on top of the piano.. and quickly executes a piledriver.
Evil Paul Rudd: You just have to tune it properly.
Paul kicks Alex in the ribs a few times then walks off the stage, returning with a toolbox. He opens it up and pulls out a pair of pliers. He kneels on Alex's wrists, grinning evilly.
Evil Paul Rudd: This should take you back a few months. Now which nail should I pull?
The door creeks open.. then the lights go out and we hear Rebecca Thatch's voice in the darkness.
Rebecca Thatch: Sorry I'm late. Don't worry.. I'm used to the low light, I can navigate in the darkness just fine.
Evil Paul Rudd: Turn the fucking lights back on!
The lights return only to have Alex Richards standing beside Rudd now holding a kendo stick, a sick grin on his face.
Alex Richards: Thanks for the gift Becky. I'm sure Paul is gonna get lots of enjoyment out of it.
Alex blasts Paul with a hard kendo stick shot! Then another one! Finally he wraps the stick around Rudd's throat and breaks it by russian leg sweeping Rudd on the stage. Meanwhile Rebecca is making her way into the empty sea of chairs. She looks at throne and shakes her head.
Rebecca Thatch: If Paul Rudd left that for me... I don't want it.
She promptly sits down in a metal chair.
Gravedigger: See? Paul Rudd knows how to treat a lady! She's so ungrateful. Wow! Belly to belly suplex right off the stage onto the floor! Alex spots the discarded pillars.
Alex Richards: You were right.. I do know how much this hurts. Which is why this is going to be so much fun.
Alex grabs Rudd's hand.. and immediately rips out his thumb nail.
Alex Richards: This is going to save you tons of time on those manicures!
Paul meanwhile reaches into his signet pulls out his trademark handful of powder and tosses it right into Alex's eyes! Rudd grabs the pillars.. then tosses them aside.. reaching into the tool box and pulling out his wrench.
Evil Paul Rudd: Oh... I missed you.
Alex swings wildly still blinded by the powder only to eat a vicious shot to the knee with the wrench!
Gravedigger: Yes yes! This wrench lead to victory for Paul Rudd over David Sanchez! It surely is going to lead to a victory again tonight! Yes.. look at that... figure four leglock!
Evil Paul Rudd: Get me a referee!
A referee runs in from the backstage area.
Jimmy Garcia: That is new UCI official Jerry Tucker. He just graduated referee school and surely is going to have a long and distinguished career in the UCI.
Sebastian Reid: Jimmy.. having background information on the refs makes you seem really nerdy. And in a bad I want to smack you kind of way.
Evil Paul Rudd: Give it up! Give it up!
Alex Richards: If I did give up would you let the match finish?
Evil Paul Rudd: No.. I just want the satisfaction of making you quit!
Alex Richards: Well in that case..
Alex turns the figure four over applying the pressure to Paul Rudd. Rudd quickly releases the hold and grabs his wrench again swinging for the head of Alex Richards... who rolls just barely out of the way. He takes a second swing and barely misses again. Alex rolls towards the ring dodging a third and fourth shot. But finally eating a shot to the ribs as he tried to slide into the ring.
Evil Paul Rudd: I mean you would feel more comfortable in there. All the better to trap you!
Paul whips Alex off of the ropes and clotheslines him with the assistance of his wench. Alex collapses bleeding heavily from his nose. He makes a cover.
1..
2..
kick out!
Jimmy Garcia: That could have shattered Alex's jaw there. What a vicious move.
Paul decides to go to the corner and removes all three turnbuckle pads. Alex gets up only to eat a drop toe hold onto the bottom steel bolt!
Gravedigger: That was brilliant! Paul Rudd isn't done though! He's got his trusty wrench and he's going to the top rope. Alex's face is positioned right on the bolt.. he's going to somehow make Alex's face even uglier!
Paul leaps swinging the wrench for basically a brutal version of a double ax handle. Only to have Alex rolls out of the way. The wrench connects with the bottom bolt and flies back nailing Paul right in the face busting him wide open!
Alex Richards: Are you bleeding? Are you hurting? Not nearly fucking enough! I'm going to fucking ruin those movie star good looks of yours! Make you look as ugly as you are!
Gravedigger: No! Don't do that!
Alex german suplexes Rudd right into the exposed steel corner nearly knocking the actor unconscious. He drags him to the middle of the ring and applies the crippler crossface while at the same time rubbing Rudd's bloody face into the mat.
Evil Paul Rudd: Jobbers! Jobbers!
The Wambulance hits the ring stomping away on Alex while screaming like he's an actual ambulance. He is followed by Eric Draven who delivers a few brooding kicks.
Jimmy Garcia: Why are these guys involved in this match! They don't belong here!
Sebastian Reid: It's no disqualification. Hiring some help isn't illegal. Although he probably should have hired better help.
The Wambulance is choking Alex with a stereoscope while Eric Draven throws some of those karate chops that would make a 6th grader jealous. They decide to whip Richards off the ropes and go for a double backdrop. Alex stops smashes the Wambulance with a superkick then sambo suplexes Eric Draven. He grabs Draven and choke tosses him far far out of the ring right into the throne that Paul had made specially for Rebecca.. sparks fly as Eric finds himself in what appears to be an electric chair!
Jimmy Garcia: There's one of Paul Rudd's plans that have backfired!
Alex picks up the man dressed as an ambulance and nails him with the spiked samoan punch knocking him from the ring. Only to have Hardcore McMurderkill nail him in the spine with a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat!
Gravedigger: Yes Yes! Hardcore McMurderkill comes through for Rudd! He's going to DDT Alex on that bat... Nooooooo!
Sebastian Reid: Alex countered with a hard spinebuster! So much for the murder man. But that gave Paul his opening. Backstabber from behind is blocked with a mule kick to the crotch. Vicious headbutt sends Paul Rudd flying!
Paul staggers to his feet as Alex lifts him up into his press slam. Alex press slams Paul Rudd over his head, walking around the ring.. then finally disposing him hard on the cement floor!
Jimmy Garcia: No padding out there tonight! Paul Rudd hit with a sickening thud on the concrete!
Gravedigger: That is no way to treat a great actor.. a national treasure such as Evil Paul Rudd!
Alex rolls out of the ring, seeming to go after Rudd, but instead he lifts up the ring skirt looking underneath.
Alex Richards: I knew it! Every single ring I have ever been in had one of those! It looks like one of us are in luck.
And with that Alex pulls out a press table and quickly sets it up. Paul Rudd staggers to his feet, blood leaking from the back of his head.
Alex Richards: That's gonna leave a nasty hangover isn't it. A Zim-Quila Hangover!
Paul grabs Rudd by the throat.. lifting him up for the chokeslam.. but before he can fall backwards with the move he is met with a vicious big boot to the skull by Petrov 2.0!
Gravedigger: Notice that Petrov didn't need to be called like those jobbers earlier? Petrov knew when he was needed and he just destroyed Alex Richards!
Alex lays on the hard cement and looks up at Petrov.
Alex Richards: Betty Adams deserved better than you.
Petrov: 2.0: Fuck you! You die now!
Rebecca Thatch from her seat in the crowd shrieks in agony as Petrov lifts up Richards for the powerbomb, while Evil Paul Rudd shouts Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You over and over again in Alex's ear. Petrov delivers the powerbomb with the styles clash ending through the table!
Jimmy Garcia: Holy shit!
Sebastian Reid: Alex Richards is not getting up after that.
Evil Paul Rudd gives Petrov a high five, the soviet superman, barely masking his contempt for it. Then he makes the pin on Alex.
1..
2...
3!
Evil Paul Rudd: I don't think he's had enough. He's still twitching.
Sebastian Reid: I assure you.. that leg twitch is involuntary. The King of Mass Confusion is out to the world after that brutal version of the Fuck You! Who could possibly get up after that?
Evil Paul Rudd: I enjoyed that Fuck You so much I want to see it again. Only better! Minions... I want two tables!
Paul's assistants come out carrying two tables which they place beside each other.
Evil Paul Rudd: No.. you idiots. It's so hard to find good help. Like this..
Paul stacks the tables on top of each other. Then he comes back with a bottle of lighter fluid and a blow torch. Petrov meanwhile is setting up what appears to be a 20 foot ladder. He lifts up the massive 300 pound Richards and flungs his dead wieght over his shoulder and begins to climb the ladder.
Jimmy Garcia: I wish someone could stop this match. Alex is defenseless already!
Gravedigger: I can't wait until someone makes a gif of this so |I can watch Alex get destroyed over and over on my iPhone. He never should have fucked with Paul Rudd.
Evil Paul Rudd: Wait.. wait..
Paul dumps the fluid over both tables.. then uses the torch igniting them.
Evil Paul Rudd: Now.. fucking burn him!
Petrov sits on the top of the ladder.. positioning Alex's dead weight in between his legs for the powerbomb.. He yells out Fuck You! Only to have Alex come to life and backdrop Petrov landing him on top of the table which bends but does not break.
Alex Richards: No... Fuck you!
Alex launches himself backwards off the top of the ladder leaping onto Petrov with a brutal King-Quila bomb.. the force driving Petrov through both flaming tables!
Sebastian Reid: Oh my god that was brutal!
Alex Richards rolls free clutching his ribs. Petrov does not move. As the door opens and someone makes their move. Elvira rushes into the room, grabs Petrov by the ankles and starts dragging him towards the exit.
Elvira: What? A girl's got needs. He does have a cock like a tree trunk after all.
Alex Richards struggles to his feet, only to have Paul Rudd jump him from behind with the back stabber.. into the rear naked choke!
Gravedigger: I love it! Paul Rudd was lying in wait. If Petrov didn't finish Alex off he was going to do it himself with the Evil Accolades! Nobody has ever broken this move.
Alex tries to fight his way out with desperation punches to the face of Rudd but reaching behind yourself and blindly punching isn't particularly effective. Alex begins to turn a deeper shade of red as Paul continues to pour on the pressure.
Evil Paul Rudd: I just want to let you know Alex.. after I finished choking the life out of you.. I'm going to do the same thing to Rebecca. You think if I apply the same amount of pressure I'm giving you I can snap her neck? What do you think Alex?
Sebastian Reid: That may not have been the right thing to say. It appears it gave Alex some extra energy as the big man is clawing at the hands around his throat.
Jimmy Garcia: He can't break the grip though. Alex Richards is... climbing to his feet with Paul Rudd on his back!
Gravedigger: You guys don't know what you're talking about. Winning the psychological war is even sweeter than winning the psychical one.
Alex Richards, unable to break the hold begins slowly climbing the ladder.
Sebastian Reid: This can not be a good idea.
Jimmy Garcia: This is a horrible idea.
Gravedigger: This is a great idea! Ever see someone pass out on a ladder? It's on my bucket list!
Paul Rudd holds tight as Alex begins to turn blue. Finally in desperation he flings himself backwards... right in the direction of the ring steps! The steps are flattened as Paul Rudd is crushed against them by the mass of Alex Richards!
Gravedigger: That's not fair! He had this won!
Sebastian Reid: Alex had a plan after all. He knew exactly where he was and used those steps to absolutely annihilate Paul Rudd. He is not getting up after that.
Jimmy Garcia: All Alex has to do is pin him here.
Gravedigger: Alex isn't in much better shape then Rudd.
Jimmy Garcia: Would you look at the blood pouring from Rudd?
Sebastian Reid: You sound like a low rent macabre version of Dr. Seuss.
Alex crawls away from the ring steps on his hands and knees and barks in an even harsher voice than usual.
Alex Richards: Hey stooges... get me a chain saw!
Sebastian Reid: Oh no.
The assistants, being employed by Paul Rudd don't do anything.
Alex Richards: Stooges.. get me a chainsaw! I'm telling you.. if I have to go back there... I'm going to destroy each and every one of you until I find my chainsaw.. What I'm saying is.. get me a fucking chainsaw!
One of the assistants come out carrying a chainsaw. They drop it next to Alex then sprint towards backstage. Alex slowly, gets up, using the chainsaw as a sort of makeshift crutch. He grabs Rudd with his free hand and sits him up as much as he can on what's left of the stairs. He places the chainsaw against Paul's jaw and..
Alex Richards: You give it up Rudd?
Evil Paul Rudd: Not a chance you obese troll!
Alex Richards: I was hoping you'd say that.
Alex fires up the chainsaw and Paul immediately begins waving his arms.
Sebastian Reid: It's amazing how much energy you suddenly have when someone comes at you with a chainsaw.
Evil Paul Rudd: Wait Wait Wait!
Alex Richards: I knew you'd quit.
Evil Paul Rudd: No... I'm not quitting. I want a last prayer.
Alex Richards: Yeah... right. I'm not falling for that.
Evil Paul Rudd: A last prayer.. to the flying spaghetti monster! As a devout Pastafarian you have to grant me that request!
Alex sighs.
Alex Richards: You have ten seconds.
Jimmy Garcia: Alex Richards.. showing some mercy.
Gravedigger: He doesn't have the killer instinct!
Sebastian Reid: We know that isn't true!
Paul drops to his knees.. bends over.. then unleashes Hell on Alex Richards launching a massive fireball directly into his face. This engulfs Alex's beard in flames. The big man stops, drops, and rolls.
Gravedigger: I knew it! There is no quit in Evil Paul Rudd! He suckered Alex Richards in and the big dummy fell for it!
Evil Paul staggers around looking for the closest weapon.. a metal shovel wrapped in barbed wire. He blasts Alex in the head of it with it! He blasts him in the back of the head again. He blasts him in the skull one more time in order to make sure.
Jimmy Garcia: Who on earth wraps a shovel in barbed wire? Why does a shovel need something extra to be used as a weapon?
Sebastian Reid: You got me there Jimmy but I have to say.. that thing really ripped up Alex's head as well as seemingly knocking him out, perhaps for good.
Evil Paul Rudd: It's time for the Grand Finale!
Gravedigger: And as if on cue. Actually definitely on cue some of those overpaid stage hands come in wheeling... ohh.. this should be good. Look at the glee in Paul Rudd's eyes as they wheel in that dunk tank.
Evil Paul Rudd: Last time I dunked you in there you weren't seen for months Alex. This time.. let's make your death permanent? You remember the way that lye dissolved your body? But you came back last time. I guess we need a quick test to make sure this time will be fatal.
Paul Rudd quick grabs the referee! The man screams as Paul boots him in the gut and DDTs him! He screams again as he hits the lye as Paul hoists him up and tosses him in the tank. The man scrambles as his body begins to dissolve turning the “water” red.
Evil Paul Rudd: Perfect! Backup referee!
A second, very nervous looking official tentatively approaches.
Jimmy Garcia: This is bad. We aren't going to show this on pay per view are we?
Gravedigger: Shut up your pussy! Live death equals ratings!
Sebastian Reid: That is technically true. But I don't think anyone wants to see it.
Paul picks Alex up.. and the door of the studio swings open. Shaun Zach Richards sprints towards the door grabbing Rebecca Thatch by the hand.
SZR: C'mon Rebecca.. we have to go.. NOW!
Evil Paul Rudd: Oh no.. you fucking don't!
Evil Paul nails the tribute to the oscars superkick to Shaun's groin! Then tosses him right into a row of the steel chairs.
Evil Paul Rudd: Sit the fuck down! Both of you! You get to witness this! You get to witness history! Nobody is going to be able to stop this.
Paul Rudd strains, and heaves then finally..
Evil Paul Rudd: Stagehands! Would you fucking help me already?
Two stagehands come over and help Rudd hoist Alex up in the air.. going dangerously close to the lye.
Gravedigger: It's over! It's finally over! We finally get rid of one of the Guardians.
Jimmy Garcia: You are sick Gravedigger.
Gravedigger: Think I can ask Paul to borrow some of that lye for my favorite announcer?
Suddenly the far wall of the sound stage buckles as a white van with the words “Free Candy” in blood red letters on the side crashes through the wall.
Evil Paul Rudd: Oh! What the fuck now? You have got to be fucking kidding me!
Evil Paul drops Alex and rips over the door of the van.. pulling out the driver... the older version of Alex Richards from the future, the one with the long flowing black hair steps out. Paul immediately rips off the hubcap smashes older Alex in the face with it.. then piledrives him on the hub cap.
Evil Paul Rudd: That was your fucking plan, Alex? That was your fucking trump card? You're such a fucking failure Richards!
The passenger door opens and out hops... an alternative version of Paul Rudd.
Evil Paul Rudd: A fucking imposter? This is what you have for me.
Paul Rudd looks at Evil Paul coldly.
Paul Rudd: I'm not an imposter. Alex brought me here because you're disgracing my name in this universe.
Evil Paul Rudd: Disgrace your name? I'm fucking Ant Man bitch!
Paul Rudd: Yeah.. well I'm fucking Batman in my universe. Furthermore I won an Oscar for my performance in the Dark Knight. I'm not here to brag about things like in my world I'm a more respected actor then Al Pacino AND Robert Deniro combined. But actually I am here to do just that. Because when I heard about your evil deeds.. and about the fact you're proud of it. I had to come and tell you I have everything you ever wanted. I am the greatest actor of my generation, and Rebecca Thatch? In my universe she's my wife.
Evil Paul Rudd: Well big fucking deal! Let's see how much you enjoy it.. when you're fucking dead..
Evil Paul picks up the discarded chainsaw. He pulls the cord it doesn't start. He's about to pull it again when he is tapped on the shoulder... he turns and
Jimmy Garcia: Spear by Alex Richards right into the side of the van!
Gravedigger: Oh for fuck's sake! What does it take to keep this guy down?
Sebastian Reid: Paul had him but he got distracted and too full of himself. And look what's happening now.. Alex is dragging him onto the hood of the van. Now the top of the van. He positions Paul for a powerbomb.. and SANITY SLIP OFF THE TOP OF THE VAN TO THE CEMENT FLOOR! WOW!
Alex rolls over and covers Rudd. The replacement ref makes the count...
1...
2...
3!
Alex pulls himself to his feet, looking determined. He presses Paul over his head.. walking towards the dunk tank filled with lethal lye.
Alex Richards: I should throw you in there. You would do it to me. After what you do to me, to Becky to the Guardians.. you have it coming. But I'm not going to. You know why? Because I'm going to let you live with the knowledge that the love and respect you truly want. It's never going to come. And more importantly.. live with the knowledge that you failed BECAUSE you're evil. Or you know.. maybe I changed my mind..
Alex throws Paul Rudd with his last bit of strength.. javelin style right into the side of the dunk tank leaving him in a heap on the floor.
Alex Richards: This is over.
The referee raises Alex's hand.
Referee: Your winner of the Hollywood Death Match... Alex Richards!
Rebecca rushes over and embraces Alex. He slowly limps over towards his wounded brother, helping him up and whispering You did great into Shaun's ear. The trio help up the future version of Alex and load him into the van and drive off barely surviving the Hollywood Death Match.
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:17:46 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:20:07 GMT -6
Betty Adams vs. Mama Mustache
Jimmy Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen, a lot of words may be used to describe our next match. Interesting. Ground breaking. Weird. Vomit inducing. But no matter what, it’s going to be personal, it’s going to be a brawl, and it’s going to be the first official Silver Cougar Fight in UCI history.
A camera backstage shows Biff and Buff massaging Mama Mustache’s arms while her brother, Ulysses Nabrow, stands behind her, massaging her breasts.
Jimmy Garcia: There’s Mama Mustache in her locker room being...um...prepped.
Gravedigger: You’re not vomiting.
Jimmy Garcia: I’m so desensitized at this point.
Another camera shows Spencer Adams talking to Betty Adams in her locker room. They stand up and hug before Betty leaves. Spencer looks on with a look of concern on his face.
Sebastian Reid: Go get her, Betty.
The camera cuts back to the ring.
Taylor Lorde: This contest is a Silver Cougar Fight!
The crowd cheers.
“Turbo Lover” by Judas Priest plays. Out steps Mama Mustache in her purple singlet. She flexes her muscles at the top of the aisle before marching down to the ring.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing first, from Centereacharound, NY, weighing in at “none of ya fuckin’ business,” Mama Mustache!
Mama enters the ring and poses on the second rope.
“Supremacy” by Muse plays. Betty Adams comes running down to the ring in a tank top and shorts.
Taylor Lorde: And her opponent, from Chicago...
Taylor can’t finish the ring introductions as Betty flies into the ring and immediately spears Mama.
The bell rings to start the match. The two women roll around on the mat, punching each other and pulling each other’s hair.
Crowd: FIGHT FOREVER :clap clap clap clap clap: FIGHT FOREVER
Sebastian Reid: Already?
Mama is finally able to free herself from Betty’s grip and rolls out of the ring. Betty gives chase. They run around the entire circumference of the ring before Mama gets back in and tries to run out the other end. Betty, however, grabs the back of Mama’s singlet. Mama holds on to the bottom rope while Betty pulls and rips the singlet, exposing the sagging skin on Mama’s back and the top of her butt crack.
Sebastian Reid: Quarter moon!
Gravedigger: Have some respect for the matriarch!
Sebastian Reid: She’s getting what’s been coming to her ever since she stepped foot in this company!
Betty grabs Mama’s legs and throws Mama up in the air, causing Mama to belly flop on the mat. Mama releases her hold on the bottom rope. Betty takes the piece of singlet she ripped off, walks around the ring with it, twirling it in the air, and tosses it into the crowd. The crowd cheers.
Betty gets Mama on her back and starts slapping her in the face repeatedly. She grabs Mama by the hair.
Gravedigger: Not her beautiful hair!
Betty starts yelling at Mama.
Betty Adams: You want to kick my son in the balls?!
She tosses Mama across the ring. She grabs her hair again.
Betty Adams: You want to try to embarrass him?!
She tosses Mama again and grabs her hair for a third time.
Betty Adams: You want to mess with me?!
Mama goes flying again. Betty traps Mama for a fourth time.
Betty Adams: Time for some of your own medicine!
Instead of throwing Mama, she pounds Mama’s face into the mat over and over again.
Gravedigger: She might be concussed!
Betty gets up and roars. The crowd cheers. Betty points to the corner of the ring and climbs up onto the second rope. With her hands, she summons Mama to get to her feet. Mama gets up with her back to Betty, stumbling around, the left strap of her singlet falling off her shoulder.
Mama turns around. Betty jumps off the rope and attempts a double axe handle but Mama avoids it by grabbing Betty’s crotch.
Mama continues to squeeze Betty’s crotch and slaps Betty right across her tits.
Gravedigger: SHE SLAPPED HER ACRAWSS HER GAWD DAMN TITS!
Mama continues grabbing Betty’s crotch. The pain is so intense that Betty falls to her knees, but Mama doesn’t let go. She forces Betty back up to her feet and slaps her in the breasts again. The ref begins a five count but Mama grabs the ref by his collar, kicks him right in the balls, and throws him out of the ring.
Mama turns back around and Betty spears Mama. She begins slapping her and choking her.
Jimmy Garcia: Wait! Here come the Super Stache Brothers!
Biff and Buff run into the ring and pull Betty off of Mama. They pull Betty into the corner and hold both off her arms down. Mama marches over to Betty and starts ripping off her top and her bra. She smacks Betty across her tits once again.
Jimmy Garcia: Okay, this is uncomfortable.
Sebastian Reid: This isn’t about a fight anymore! This is about embarrassment! This is straight up sexual assault! I can’t sit by and watch this anymore!
Sebastian Reid throws his headset down and runs into the ring. The crowd cheer this act of heroism, but he’s met with a bicycle kick by Biff and thrown out of the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Our broadcast partner Sebastian Reid has just been taken out by Biff Mustache!
Buff continues to hold Betty in the corner while Mama relentlessly smacks Betty’s tits over and over and over again.
Jimmy Garcia: My god! Betty’s breasts have been busted open!
Despite the blood, Mama continues her onslaught. The crowd begins to cheer.
Jimmy Garcia: IT’S SPENCER ADAMS!
Spencer gets in the ring, grabs Mama and throws her down to the mat. He and Buff start trading blows but Biff clobbers Spencer in the back of the head with a forearm. Mama orders Biff and Buff to pull Spencer into the corner opposite Betty. They comply and force Spencer to his knees. Buff chickenwings Spencer’s arms while Biff holds Spencer’s head up.
By this point, Betty has fallen to her butt in the corner. Mama walks towards Spencer and yells in his face.
Mama Mustache: She asked for this, Spencer, and now ya gonna fuckin’ watch!
Mama runs towards Betty and slams her crotch into Betty’s face with a Bronco Buster.
Jimmy Garcia: This has got to stop!
Mama goes back to smacking Betty across the tits.
Jimmy Garcia: Come on! Enough!
Mama adds a few more smacks in for extra measure. When she’s satisfied, she drags Betty into the center of the ring and motions for someone to come out from the back. Ulysses Nabrow runs down to the ring in his ref’s shirt.
Mama stands over Betty, swivels her hips, jumps in the air, and sits down on Betty’s face. Ulysses counts.
1…
2…
3…
Jimmy Garcia: We are not counting that pinfall.
Ulysses raises Mama’s hand in the air. Mama poses for the crowd. She turns around and sees Betty holding her left arm.
Jimmy Garcia: Oh my god. Don’t tell me. She’s not...she’s having a heart attack!
Mama’s face goes from elated to shocked.
Mama Mustache: Oh shit! Boys, let’s get the fuck outta here!
Ulysses and Mama run out of the ring. Biff and Buff release Spencer and high tail it as well. Spencer immediately comes to his mother’s aid. He motions for EMTs to get to the ring. Sebastian Reid recovers and joins Spencer’s call for medical help.
Jimmy Garcia: Can we get some medical attention out here please?! Jesus Christ! Maybe we should just see if there’s a doctor in the crowd!
Finally, UCI officials and EMTs run out to the ring with a stretcher. They get Betty onto the stretcher and rush her down the aisle. Spencer follows right alongside the stretcher. Sebastian Reid gets back on commentary.
Sebastian Reid: That’s the people you admire ‘Digger?! These people who use intimidation and harassment to get what they want?! These people who will cheat to win? These people who will brutalize anyone whenever they feel like it? These people who will cause someone to have a heart attack?!?! You know what the Mustaches are, ‘Digger?! They’re UCI’s equivalent to terrorists!
Gravedigger: Hey, Betty agreed to this match. You’re just mad because Biff kicked you in the face.
Sebastian Reid: You know what, ‘Digger?! Fuck you!
Jimmy Garcia: Sebastian, I’m just as mad as you, but we’ve all got to compose ourselves here. We have a very serious situation. The mother of UCI’s owner is on her way to a hospital right now with a possible heart attack.
The show cuts to a camera backstage following Betty’s stretcher. The EMTs load her into an ambulance. Spencer hops in and the ambulance drives away. Another camera follows the Mustache Family, who hop into the Mustache Machine and speed away as well.
Sebastian Reid: Cowards! All of them! Cowards!
Jimmy Garcia: Of course, we all hope Betty Adams will be okay. That’s the most important things for now. Let’s take a quick pause and try to reset here. My god... |
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:20:57 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 31, 2017 23:22:32 GMT -6
Rising Stars Tournament Round Two Umeji vs. Cormack MacNeill
Taylor Lorde: This next contest is for the second round of the Rising Stars Tournament, and is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Jimmy Garcia: This one is going to be good, ladies and gentlemen! It's Umeji vs Cormack MacNeill!
Gravedigger: Apparently, these two have respect for each other… *yawn*.
The drone of the pipes fills the air as MacNeill slowly walks out onto the entrance ramp. He stops and looks around at the raucous cheering crowd. He takes a moment and brings his fist to his chest before raising it in salute.
Taylor Lorde: Making his way to the ring. From Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada! Weighing in at 285lbs! CORMACK MAAACNEEEEEIIIIILL!!!
As the drums kick in, MacNeill walks slowly down to the ring, stopping at the end of the ramp to eye the ring before climbing up and sliding into the ring. With great ceremony, he unclasps his kilt and hands it to the ring attendant before taking up a position in his corner and using the ropes to stretch out and warm up.
Sebastian Reid: Big Mac's first match went well against Matt Angel. Let's see if he'll have the same luck against Umeji.
Jimmy Garcia: Umeji also did well on his debut against Cheyenne. Let's see who wants the Rising Stars title more!
“Katana Groove” by Hotei cues a haiku across the screen:
Time walking forward
One breath from a high mountain
Stops to see it all
Lights dim displaying red, pulsing words to a taiko's beat. The music picks up with the entrance of Umeji, inside drifting fog, followed close by Stuart Mendelsohn. His manager drums up the crowd.
Taylor Lorde: And his opponent! From Kobe, Japan! Weighing in at 182 lbs! UUUUUUUUUUUMEJIIIIIIIIIII!!!
Umeji descends the ramp and slides into the ring to no fanfare. His manager circles outside while in route for the turnbuckle. A quick spring lands Umeji atop the ropes. He takes a long breath, spotlights shine around him, sitting before mixed reactions. Two arm pumps throw a white suit jacket into Menedelsohn's outstretched arms. Umeji jumps down into a warmup combo. His music fades behind a high kick held for several seconds.
Before the bell rings, they walk toward each other and have a bit of a stare down. Cormack raises his hand out for a handshake, and Umeji accepts. They break apart as the ref calls for the bell, both gearing up for the fight.
Spencer Reid: There's that respect Gravedigger brought up, as they lock up, with Cormack powering Umeji out!
Gravedigger: I hate being right, sometimes.
Jimmy Garcia: Big size advantage for Cormack here! They lock up again, this time, Umeji getting the waist lock.
Gravedigger: Only for Big Mack to drive him to the turnbuckle. That size advantage is gonna be a problem for Umeji.
Mack hits a snapmare on Umeji, and follows it up with a chin lock, while driving his knee to the back of Umeji.
Jimmy Garcia: We're getting a good look at Cormack's form of offense here! Very methodical, with emphasis on the back region! Now hitting him with some elbow strikes to add even more pressure! Umeji is in trouble!
Umeji grabs the rope to break the hold.
1! 2!
Cormack breaks the hold and steps back, only to be met with a savate kick that staggers him.
Gravedigger: Good ring awareness by Umeji, getting the rope break, and using the slight hesitation from Mack to his full advantage.
Crowd: WOOOOOO!!!
Jimmy Garcia: A chop from Umeji to to Cormack!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Sebastian Reid: Cormack returning the favor, with twice the power!
Umeji hits an elbow to Cormack, Cormack returning the favor. Umeji hits another one, only for Cormack to hit one twice as hard.
Crowd: OOOOOOH!!
Jimmy Garcia: A headbutt from the Japanese poet!
Crowd: OHHHHH!!!
Sebastian Reid: And Big Mack returns the favor, taking Umeji down to the mat!
The crowd applauses as Cormack goes for the cover.
1!
2-NO!!
Jimmy Garcia: Kick out! Umeji is nowhere near done!
Gravedigger: Yeah, but he's gonna deal with an uphill battle here. He's having a hard time dealing with the size difference. Even with his strikes, Cormack is able to blow them back twice as hard.
As Cormack rises, Umeji is on all fours, attempting to get back to a vertical base. Cormack doesn't allow this. He hits the rope and drops an elbow to the back of Umeji. He rolls him over for another pin attempt, but Umeji rolls out of the ring before Mack can get the lateral press. Mack stands up while Umeji takes a breather and savors his back.
Gravedigger: More ring awareness by the Asian, rolling out of the ring to get some energy back, and at the same time, taking away Cormack's momentum.
Once Umeji gets back into the ring, Cormack goes after him, only to be caught with a hotshot. Mack now staggering, Umeji quickly rolls into the ring and sweeps the leg to finally bring Cormack flat on his back.
Jimmy Garcia: And the Big Mack is down!
Gravedigger: Umeji is using the ring to his full advantage in this match, and it's paying him dividends! He heads up to the top now.
Cormack is back up to one knee by the time Umeji is at the top rope. Umeji jumps off, wraps his arm around Mack's head, and drives it to the mat.
Sebastian Reid: Wow! Major turnaround for Umeji, hitting a big DDT from the top! Lateral press, now.
1!
2- NO!!!
Cormack pushes Umeji up and sits up, but eats a big kick that takes him right back down.
Gravedigger: Damn! Cormack must be seeing stars after that! Umeji pulling off a good mean streak now. Repeatedly jumping off the bottom turnbuckle to hit some major stomps! So much for Big Mack's size advantage.
Cormack tries to turn to his side, only to be met with a soccer kick to the back.
Sebastian Reid: Umeji hits the rope, and lands a big senton to Cormack! Cover now.
1!
2!
NO!!
Jimmy Garcia: It's gonna take more than that to keep the big man down and out.
Umeji sits up for a second after the kick out. Cormack takes advantage and attempts a Crossface submission, but Umeji reverses it into a submission of his own.
Sebastian Reid: The cross armbreaker is locked in! Middle of the ring! Will Cormack submit?
Gravedigger: He's got no choice. There's nowhere for him to go.
Cormack defies that. He rolls over Umeji and picks him up with one arm, taking him to the top turnbuckle.
Gravedigger: I stand corrected! That doesn't happen a lot, ladies and gentlemen.
Sebastian Reid: Yeah… Sure, it doesn't.
Umeji kicks Mack off, and goes for a dive, but…
Gravedigger: Caught! Cormack has him right where he wants him now. He puts him up to his right shoulder…
*BAM*
Jimmy Garcia: Powerslam! He goes for the cover!
1!
2!
3--NO!!!
Jimmy Garcia: He's still in it! Umeji won't quit!
Cormack gets up to argue with the ref, but Umeji catches his leg and gets the ankle lock.
Jimmy Garcia: Ankle lock! Middle of the ring! It could be Umeji making it to the finals here!
Sebastian Reid: Cormack is trying to get some leverage, but it's Umeji getting leverage by getting the scissor lock in for added pressure!
Jimmy Garcia: This could be it! If Cormack taps out, this will bring Umeji to the final round of the Rising Stars Championship tournament!
Cormack gets just enough leverage to roll over, slamming Umeji to the mat, and causing him to finally break the hold.
Gravedigger: Every time Umeji is able to gain an advantage, Cormack is able to use his power to turn the tables. But the damage seems to be taking a toll on Cormack. Both his right arm and leg are hurting. He manages to get a weak cover though.
1!
2!
NO!!!
Gravedigger: Just as I thought, Umeji kicks out. But his back isn't doing too well either. Both of these guys are reeling.
Both competitors are on opposite sides of the ring, reaching for the ropes. They manage to get to get to the ropes, and use them to get to a vertical base, savoring their damaged body parts. The battle continues.
Jimmy Garcia: Left arm clothesline attempt from Cormack, but ducked by Umeji. Now he goes for a bicycle, but Mack grabs the leg and pushes him away. Umeji hits the ropes. Big Mack goes for a hip toss, but Umeji lands on his feet! U goes for the roundhouse kick, but Mack ducks. Umeji flips…
*BANG!!!*
Jimmy Garcia: Wow! The roundhouse kick was a fake out, so that he could hit that beautiful backflip kick!
Gravedigger: He's not going for the cover though. He's going springboard. This is not gonna end well…
Jimmy Garcia: This is it… he's going for…
***BAM***
Jimmy Garcia: TSUCHIGUMOOOO!!! An amazing shooting star elbow!
Sebastian Reid: Guys, both of their shoulders are down!
1!!
Jimmy Garcia: Could this be!?
2!!
Gravedigger: You've gotta be kidding!
3!!!
*DING DING DING*
Gravedigger: A tie? A fucking tie!?
Jimmy Garcia: Guys, what does this mean for the Rising Stars Championship Tournament!?
Sebastian Reid: We'll just have to see what Spencer Adams decides… |
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Post by Results on Aug 1, 2017 0:04:33 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Aug 1, 2017 0:05:55 GMT -6
Rising Stars Tournament Round Two Cordelia Malice vs. Karlie Nash
Jimmy: We conclude the tournament with more contrasting styles.
GD: Speed kills, unless it gets caught.
Jimmy: Well here comes the power.
Reid: And Nash has that.
War Machine by AC/DC plays in the arena, Tracy steps on the stage and moves to the side, Karlie steps on the stage, Tracy and Karlie walks to the ring showing disdain for the crowd, Tracy walks up the steps and enters the ring, Karlie climbs the ropes from outside and flashes the loser sign to the crowd, she then climbs down ans stretches in her corner.
Lorde: On her way to the ring… Karliiiieee Nash!
Jimmy: Any keys for Nash tonight?
GD: Like I said, Jimmy, catch and destroy.
Reid: That’s easy to say from here.
Cordelia Malice wearing a full length leather duster steps out to a single spotlight then the music begins to play. It builds to a crescendo and she raises her head and smiles while petting her cat Misty. She slowly walks down to the music and gets to the ring. She puts her cat down gingerly on a stool waiting for the feline. She sits there looking around as Cordelia walks up the steps and climbs under the bottom rope into the ring. She removes her coat and hands it to a runner by ringside and speaks to her cat giving her commands as she waits for the match to begin.
Lorde: And her opponent… Cordeliiiiiaaaa Malice.
Jimmy: Malice has her eyes set on the title. Let’s see who strike first—
Reid: Nash beat the bell there.
Jimmy: Ryan Jackson didn’t even hit the bell. Malice trapped in the corner.
Nash rains blows, pushing the limits of the 10-count. Malice drops to knees. Nash fights around Jackson and goes for a gutwrench suplex clutch. A deadlift has Malice careening for the mat. Her feet catch the ropes, propelling her over Nash’s shoulder.
Reid: Smart reversal there.
GD: Can’t be afraid of a little rope burn.
A back bump sends Cordelia into a roll. She regains before taking a rough shoulder block. Nash applies an abdominal stretch. Male voices start howling on the arena, as she transitions to ground game. She moves from mid-guard to the legs into finally, a vicious Boston crab. The high angle has Malice clawing for the break, but Karlie pulls her back every time she reaches in vain hope.
Reid: Nash wants to work the legs. Take those out and she can't run.
GD: She should go for one of the power moves.
Jimmy: We’ve seen her strength. She took down Oblivion last week.
GD: Have to show killer instinct. No regrets tonight.
Jimmy: Malice caught the ropes—Nash won’t break.
Jackson hovers over them with the count. Nash relinquishes, only to circle around for another Boston crab. Malice grabs the apron to break the hold again. She crawls under the ropes while Jackson berates Karlie Nash. Seeing her climb, mightily so, sends Nash into a bull rush. A shoulder block stuns her for a second, delivered from the middle rope by Malice.
Jimmy: Look at the height on that!
Reid: A show of her speed. Cordelia hit a textbook arm drag.
GD: If like that lucha s***, it is.
Nash rebounds to face a high angle dropkick. She falls into the corner. Cordelia backs up like Jordan for maximum air. The crowd lifts to its feet. Three long strides smashes one helluva kick to Nash, still strapped in the corner. She drops rump first in a thud.
GD: She wants more. Go on—finish it already!
Jimmy: That cannonball splash might do it.
She pulls Nash far enough for the pin.
1..
2..
Jimmy: I thought that’d be enough.
GD: Nash is tougher than that.
Reid: Yeah, but Cordelia should stop playing with her food.
Cordelia setting up for her moonsault. She climbs backwards, her back to Karlie, and checks only once to see if she’s still down. Fans begin to shout as she teases the takeoff. Nash rolls over in time—
Jimmy: Nash caught Malice on her shoulders! Here she goes!
Reid: A jackknife powerbomb. I bet that gave digs a hard on.
GD: I could do better.
Nash goes for the cover.
1…
2….
3..
Reid: Shoulder up. Love the fight.
GD: Should have gone for the kill.
Reid: I don’t know if Malice has much left after that.
Jimmy: Nash signaling for that underhook piledriver!
Nash hoists for the finish—Cordelia catches her legs for a hurricanrana. The impact has Karlie stunned by the apron. Cordelia looks for any strength to stands. Jackson goes for the 10 count.
1.. 2.. 3..
Karlie gets to her knees, receiving encouragement from Tracey on the outside. Misty the cat, stalking the apron, leaps onto her manager’s back. Tracey panics in circles. Karlie looks behind to see Cordelia gaining to her feet.
Jimmy: Big clothesline—Nash missed!
Reid: Now that’s speed.
Coming off the ropes, Malice surprises Nash with a springboard bodysplash. The angle is high and has her rolling out of a pin. Nash walks dazed into a charging flash—
Jimmy: Up and over—Divine Malice! This has to be over!
1…
2…
3…
Lorde: Your winner… Cordeliiiiia Maaalice!
She wastes no time rolling out of the ring. Misty the cat leaps off the well-dressed cougar, staying close to her mistress’s heel. They head to back as Tracey and Karlie Nash collect themselves in the ring.
Reid: Nash goes to the championship round. I like her chances.
GD: Gotta stay hungry. One loss and you’re out.
Jimmy: Next up, is for the UCI Intercontinental Title—don’t go anywhere! |
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Post by Results on Aug 1, 2017 0:06:55 GMT -6
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