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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:41:39 GMT -6
Opening segment
Tarantula blasts through the T-Mobile Arena in Paradise, Nevada much to the delight of the fans in attendance.
Sebastian Reid: Welcome, ladies and gentleman to the final Overload by Summermania!
Jimmy Garcia; Big show planned tonight with some huge matches including a TV title lumberjack match and round one of a tournament to crown a new Rising Stars Champion! I can’t wait!
"2nd Sucks" by A Day To Remember hits the PA as the crowd goes raucous with cheers as dat 5 foot 11 stud Kaz Mazy walks out from behind the curtain and out on the stage, microphone in hand.
Kaz Mazy: My name is Kaz Mazy, and I'm a certified Thick, and a bonfide Slick thumpah, ja feel? Cut my music!
The music stops as Kaz continues down the ramp.
Kaz Mazy: How you doin' UCI?
Crowd POPS.
Kaz Mazy: Yeah, yeah I know. I know y'all must be feelin' a little delirium lately, a little down in da dumps because this is 2017 and we got ZMAC struttin' around here wit two titles wrapped around his dainty waist and ya got Calvin Harris tossin em away like his star hasn't fallin' already. But I'm back now BAYBEE, I'm real, and I ain't got no strings no hold me down!
Crowd POPS again.
Kaz Mazy: I gotta little summin' summin' I wanna talk to y'all about tonight, a little summin' called the HyperMeta Championship. Ya see, dis right here is the exact typa thing that The Godson was built for. To hold that HyperMeta, ya need a little summin' I like to call EN-DUH-RANCE and STAM-EEN-NUH...and I got both in spades!
A lot of people like to talk bad about the UCI... that's it's where wrestlers careers go to die, but I don't see it dat way, I see it as a place where wrestlers careers goes to thrive!
Crowd POPS!
Kaz Mazy: But deez very same people wanna come up in the YOU when opportunity comes knockin' on' their door...NOT ON MY WATCH!
Crowd POPS again.
Kaz Mazy: This is a message for everyone in the HyperMeta Championship...Kaz gonna cut ya down, make ya humble, make ya realize I ain't the wrestler I once was...I'm even fuckin' better than before. Certified Thick, recognize!
Crowd POPS!
Kaz Mazy: I ain't out here to stroke my own shit doe, I'm out here to make a statement, I'm gonna prove everyone wrong when I walk away as the NEW UCI HYPERMETA CHAMPION AT THE BIGGEST SHOW OF THE SUMMER! Play my music again!
"2nd Sucks" by A Day To Remember hits again as Kaz makes his way to the back. |
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:43:35 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:44:38 GMT -6
Sam Kidsgrove vs. Suzi Spitz
Jimmy Garcia: Welcome To UCI Monday Night Overload!
Sebastian Reid: What a main Event we have for you tonight! I can’t wait to find out the outcome of the big lumberjack match later but first up we have Newcomers Suzi Spitz versus Sam Kidsgrove.
Gravedigger: That fucking actor has no right being in the ring, the UCI locker room will eat him alive.
Sebastian Reid: Well in the ring now Is Suzi Spitz.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing her opponent,
There are lots of spotlights swirling around the arena as the Universal Studios fanfare hits the audio system. After the initial fanfare and the breakdown, Sam Kidsgrove launches himself through the curtain and starts walking down the red carpet that the backstage crew put down for him. He throws a massive grin on his face while striking a pose in his tuxedo on the ramp for the paparazzi. He walks down the ramp, going to each side and talking to the fans, signing autographs and taking interviews. Shaking a lot of hands. The ramp walk lasts a good five minutes because of this. When he finally gets to the ring, he turns to the crowd and performs a deep theatrical bow. Then rolls into the ring under the bottom rope and immediately climbs a turnbuckle, grinning at the crowd and doing yet more poses, such as the double gun salute, the “Hey I know you” wave and the classic Magnum.
Taylor Lorde: Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam Kidsgrove!
Sam walks over and signs Taylor’s Mic, to which she grins a huge grin then retreats to her spot outside the ring.
Female Crowd: Sammy Sammy Sammy!
Many Marry me Sammy signs can be spotted throughout the crowd along with men drooling over Suzi.
Suzi and Sam tie up and Suzi gets Sam in a side headlock and Sam fights out of it. Suzi Slaps Sammy across the face and Sam over sells it as if in a drama movie.
Gravedigger: What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Sam is holding his face and complaining to the ref like he is in some bad soap opera when Suzi rushes the former actor. Sam ducks a clothesline and the ref is nearly taken out. Suzi plows into the turnbuckle before Sam rolls Suzi up in a flash pin.
1
2
3!!!
Sebastian Reid: Out of nowhere! He calls that little move the Stunt Double!
Gravedigger: Thats stupid, thats not even a move it's worse than the Worm or People's Elbow!
Jimmy Garcia: Well it got the job done what a debut for Sam The Man Kidsgrove. And folks stay tuned after Overload tonight for a Special Preview of the SciFi Origninal movie Ass Xxxplosions 3!
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:45:32 GMT -6
Mystery Segment
WIthout warning the arena darkens as the sound of roaring flames issue through speakers. The tron comes to life to reveal a raging forest fire engulf thousands of acres of dry match like trees.
 : Summerslam is nearing and like a this fire I will burn away the chaff that stands in my way. Be it Dead or not I will accept any who dare to lay an open challenge out upon the airwaves. In time you will see just who I am but until then know that I am watching always watching
The flames flare up to almost blinding before the sound of a loud cracking sound is heard followed by a loud thud as the image seems to shake a moment.
: Even the mightiest of oaks will fall before nature's fury. Remember that as the storm approaches. Soon enough it with arrive with a life changing impact. Are you prepared for it?
The tron dies and darkness once again covers the arena before the ring suddenly catches fire.
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:46:24 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:47:50 GMT -6
Rising Stars Tournament Round One Umeji vs. Cheyenne
Jimmy Garcia: This is the first match in the tournament to crown a new Rising Stars Champion. Two newcomers to the UCI Umeji and Cheyenne look to make an impact and start their careers off right with a championship.
Sebastian Reid: This Umeji appears to be my kind of wrestler. That guy is cool and confident in his abilities.
Gravedigger: And Cheyenne is an absolute lunatic. Imagine her and Oblivion in the finals.
Jimmy Garcia: I don't even want to think about that.
Gravedigger: Her bug eating, his lady eating...
Jimmy Garcia: I'm going to be sick.
Sebastian Reid: The biggest question for this match might be whether Cheyenne can get inside the head of Umeji here tonight. If he is as calm as he seems it could be a long night for Cheyenne. If she can fluster him though she could pick up her second victory in two weeks in the UCI.
Taylor Lorde: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a first round match up in the UCI Rising Stars Tournament! Introducing first from Chicago, Illnois, Cheyenne!
I'm Gonna Show you Crazy by Nightcore Hits. Then a red headed woman in a figure shrouding tattered black and moss colored floor length Overcoat burst threw the curtain, spasticity shaking her head back and forth. In her hand she holds a black leather bag that appears to be alive. The lights flicker off and on to the beat giving the appearance that the woman is blinking in and out towards the ring. Upon reaching the the squared circle, she puts the bag into her mouth then pulls herself up onto the apron then backbends over the top rope flipping into the ring. Holding the bag high above her head she drops the coat revealing underneath a tightly fitted dark green and black top and tight green pants with knee high black boots.
Taylor Lorde: And her opponent... from Kobe, Japan... he is.. Umeji!
“Katana Groove” by Hotei cues a haiku across the screen:
Where were the faces
Not here, but in the moment
Now across the sky
Lights dim displaying red, pulsing words to a taiko's beat. The music picks up with the entrance of Umeji, inside drifting fog, followed close by Stuart Mendelsohn. His manager drums up the crowd. Umeji descends the ramp and slides into the ring to no fanfare. His manager circles outside while in route for the turnbuckle. A quick spring lands Umeji atop the ropes. He takes a long breath, spotlights shine around him, sitting before mixed reactions. Two arm pumps throw a white suit jacket into Mendelsohn's outstretched arms. Umeji jumps down into a warm up combo. His music fades behind a high kick held for several seconds.
Jimmy Garcia: There's the bell and we are underway. The duo lock up. Umeji is under 200 pounds but it appears he has an easy power advantage here tonight. He easily muscles Cheyenne to the corner and offers a clean break.
Gravedigger: But Cheyenne instantly headbutts him down and stomps the face several times hard. You can't underestimate crazy strength Jimmy! Umeji gets up and Cheyenne immediately drops to her back and slaps on a flying armbar! Right into an omoplata shoulder lock.
Sebastian Reid: Interesting. Cheyenne in spite of her appearance appears to have been full trained somewhere. Umeji calmly gets to the ropes and causes the break from the referee. At least eventually. Referee Spike Taylor is counting and at the end of four Cheyenne releases the hold just before disqualification. Now she executes a single arm DDT! Then applies a hammerlock.
Jimmy Garcia: I can honestly say I didn't expect technical wrestling from Cheyenne.
Gravedigger: She could be setting him up for the Woman's Scorn early on. But Umeji reverses applying a hammer lock of his own. Cheyenne gets to her feet and Umeji smashes her shoulder first right into the corner then drops her with a roundhouse kick! He makes a cover.
1...
Sebastian Reid: It's going to take more than that to put Umeji away. Umeji delivering a series of hard kicks to the mid section of Cheyenne now. She paws at the leg of Umeji.. and instead he sweeps her feets out from under her then nails a savate kick right to the jaw! Umeji's martial arts appear to have thrown off Cheyenne tonight.
Jimmy Garcia: He's putting on a clinic now Cheyenne pulls herself to her feet looking a little woozy.. then a bicycle kick to the side of the neck really makes hard contact followed up with a jumping knee right to the jawline! Cheyenne collapses. I think she might be out here.
1..
2..
kick out!
Gravedigger: Cheyenne isn't going to go down that easily. Umeji dead lifts her off the ground and rams her straight into the corner with a spinebuster! Then monkey flips her out of the corner right into a triangle choke dead center in the middle of the ring. I think he's got the dangerous Cheyenne here. She's going to have to tap out.
Sebastian Reid: Yeah but instead.. she's laughing! She's laughing while being choked! Umeji drops the hold and looks over at his manager Stu. Maybe he's wondering what he has to do to put Cheyenne away. Stu says something to him, it looks like Umeji didn't even acknowledge it and he nails a gut wrench suplex on Cheyenne.
Jimmy Garcia: And bridges into the cross armbreaker.. that's the Edo Special! He's really got this locked in. But Cheyenne doesn't seem like the type of person who is going to submit.. ever. I think Umeji might end up breaking her arm here.
Gravedigger: You don't have to make them tap out Jimmy. They pass out you get the same result. Cheyenne sliding towards the ropes.. and slips out under the bottom rope. Umeji holds onto the arm and slides out to the floor with her.
Jimmy Garcia: Umeji is finally forced to drop the hold because he doesn't want to be counted out. Cheyenne sacrificed her own body to avoid defeat there. I don't think it's going to save her though. Umeji immediately goes on the attack on the floor, delivering a series of hard knife edge chops right to the already injured shoulder area of Cheyenne.
Sebastian Reid: Like I said. I like Umeji because he's such a targeted, meticulous striker. He knows right where to strike in order to maximize the damage. Ohh.. but Cheyenne comes back with a drop toe hold right onto the ring steps!
Gravedigger: Cheyenne has a lot of fight in her. And would you look at that. She picks up the ring steps and climbs to the apron.. diving off and blasting him in the skull with those steps! I think she knocked him out! Cheyenne rolls Umeji back in the ring and makes the cover.
1...
2...
3!
No! No! Shoulder up.. but just barely!
Jimmy Garcia: How on earth did he kick out of that? Cheyenne pulls the stunned Umeji to his feet and dumps him off on his head with a german suplex.. then rolls back to his feet.. and spikes him again! Cheyenne will roll Umeji back to his feet again and drops him on his head a third time with the german! Umeji, who had complete control of this match a minute ago now appears to be out. Cheyenne makes the pin.
1..
2..
and 3/4 quarters!
Gravedigger: Cheyenne grabs the referee by the shirt screaming at him that she got the pin. I for one would love to see Cheyenne knockout of those rules enforcing weasels. She pushes him aside, unfortunately, then roughly drags Umeji to his feet and places him on the top turnbuckle. Where is she going to go from here? Belly to Belly superplex! What a move from Cheyenne!
Sebastian Reid: There is definitely more to Cheyenne then there appears to be that's for sure. This lady is both talented and disturbed. No cover from Cheyenne though. This could be a mistake. Instead she appears to be going for that black leather bag.
Jimmy Garcia: Oh.. no... I don't want to see the roaches. I really really hate those bugs.
Gravedigger: It looks like Umeji is about to get up close and personal with them don't it? Cheyenne walks over.. She leans in with the bag, only to eat a vicious up kick knocking the bag back into Cheyenne's face and out of the ring! Cheyenne turns to grab the bag and eats a dropkick right to the chest followed up with a brutal leaping elbow strike! That one knocked Cheyenne for a loop!
Sebastian Reid: Umeji is shaking his head trying to clear the cobwebs after all those blows to the head as he climbs to the top rope.. and leaps off shooting star press right into an elbow drop... the Tsuchigumo, connects! He drapes an arm across for the cover.
1...
2...
3!
Taylor Lorde: Your winner of the match, advancing to the semifinals of the Rising Stars Tournament.. is Umeji!
Jimmy Garcia: Umeji's manager encouraging him to get out of there. But Umeji merely raises his hands to the crowd celebrating his victory.
Sebastian Reid: These two were evenly matched. But in the end Cheyenne went for the bugs early and it cost her as Umeji kept calm and picked up the victory. He advances to face the winner of Cormack MacNeil and Matt Angel.
Gravedigger: I thought it was Matt Angle.
Jimmy Garcia: No, I'm pretty sure it's Angel.
Gravedigger: He better not be related to Kris Angel.. I hear that guys a dick.
Sebastian Reid: Would you unprofessional fucks quit making fun of the talent?
Gravedigger: Clearly not.
Jimmy Garcia: For once I agree with Gravedigger.
Sebastian Reid: Fuck you both.
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:48:33 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:49:58 GMT -6
Alex Richards Segment
After a commercial break the viewers at home are treated to a view of a big screen television. We see the backs of Alex Richards and his girlfriend Rebecca Thatch watching a “classic” movie..
Rebecca Thatch: The colors.. I never thought I would ever get to see such bright colors again.
Alex Richards: And you can't go wrong with Jury Duty! Pauly Shore is the man!
Rebecca Thatch: I didn't know anyone was actually a Pauly Shore fan.
Alex Richards: The Weasel is where it's at!
You see I told you he would be here!
Evil Paul Rudd, who is watching the feed on a monitor alongside his flunky Jake Steele crows with delight.
Evil Paul Rudd: I knew that idiot wouldn't be able to stay away.
Jake Steele: Why is he here anyways? That don't make no sense. Especially with his girlfriend after you kidnapped her last week.
Evil Paul Rudd: I know it doesn't make any sense. No sense is the only sense Alex Richards has. He's probably here in hopes that Bonnie Blue finally has that meeting with him. I wish I had more time then one week. Perhaps I could strike a deal with Bonnie in return for permanently eliminating Alex. But no time for all of that now.
Jake Steele: So what are we going to do?
Evil Paul Rudd: In two weeks I am facing Alex Richards in a Hollywood Death Match. What would you do if you were facing a 300 plus pound psychopath?
Jake Steele: Run!
Evil Paul Rudd: Did that work for you last week?
Jake Steele: You pushed me in his path!
Evil Paul Rudd: Exactly! I used my brain to avoid Alex crushing me.
Jake Steele: You used me as a human shield!
Evil Paul Rudd: Like I said.. I used my brain. So what do you suppose I'm going to do this week?
Jake Steele: Use me a human shield again?
Evil Paul Rudd: No stupid! Use my brain! The easiest path to victory next week is to destroy Alex's heart this week.
Jake Steele: You're going to give him a heart attack boss?
Evil Paul Rudd: I need to find smarter lackeys. No, I'm going to destroy Alex Richard's heart by permanently taking away from him the one thing he cares about most. Last week Rebecca chose Alex over me. FOR THE FINAL FUCKING TIME! THAT WAS HER LAST CHANCE! THIS WEEK.. THIS WEEK I WILL SIMPLY FUCKING SLIT HER FUCKING THROAT AND WATCH HER FUCKING BLEED OUT. THEN I'LL TAKE THE BODY TO TESLA AND MAKE SURE SHE'S FUCKING DEAD THIS TIME!
Jake Steele: But how are you gonna get her alone? Alex isn't gonna just leave.
Evil Paul Rudd: That's the first smart thought you've had all night Steele. Fortunately I'm Evil Paul Rudd, I always have a simply brilliant, simply evil plan. In addition to being a great actor, I'm also a great voice actor. I will simply lure Alex from his dressing room and then dispose of Rebecca at our leisure.
Paul pulls out his cell phone, clears his throat a few times then impersonates L Verez. Alex answers the phone on the third ring.
Alex Richards: Just take the elephant straight up to the roof and put the purple parachute pants on her.
Evil Paul Rudd: What?
Alex Richards: Nevermind, what's up?
Evil Paul Rudd: It's L, Alex.
Alex Richards: What's wrong with your voice you got a cold or something. What you need is an Alex Richards home remedy. Heat up some Zim-Quila. I call it a Hot Drunkard. It does wonders for colds.
Evil Paul Rudd: No! I don't have a cold. I'm pregnant Alex. And I'm delivering my little giant monster right now.
Alex Richards: Wait.. you wrestled last week when you were pregnant?
Evil Paul Rudd: I wasn't pregnant then.
Alex Richards: And aren't you a transgendered female?
Evil Paul Rudd: Silly milk, on my home planet both males and females can have babies.
Alex Richards: That's weird. Your planet sounds awesome!
Evil Paul Rudd: Just get here now. I need help with the delivery.
Alex Richards: I'm on my way.
Alex hangs up the phone, then looks at Rebecca nervously.
Alex Richards: Becky, I gotta go. L is pregnant and about to deliver her baby. I gotta step out for a few minutes. If anyone comes, text me on my cell and scream for help. I'll be back soon.
Rebecca Thatch: I can do that. But make it quick. I don't want to be left alone with that slimeball Rudd lurking around.
Alex Richards: Lova ya!
Alex races out of the room. A few seconds later Evil Paul Rudd makes his move. Alongside his assistant he waltzes into the room carrying a seriously scary hunting knife with a very sharp looking blade.
Evil Paul Rudd: Oh, Rebecca.. you chose Alex over me. Me! Paul Rudd. Well Rebecca.. Alex is not going to be able to save you this time.
Rebecca Thatch turns around. It appears she's aged 20 years since last week. Paul Rudd looks absolutely shocked.
Evil Paul Rudd: Elvira?
Elvira: I prefer Cassandra when I'm not working.
Evil Paul Rudd: But you're supposed to be Rebecca! Why are you here?
Alex Richards large frame darkens the doorway.
Alex Richards: You know what your problem is? You think everyone but you is stupid. You really thought I was going to buy L being pregnant? And even dumber just drop everything and leave Becky alone? How stupid is it you think I am? You know why I'm here this week Paul? It's a Guardian thing.. you wouldn't understand loyalty. You never leave a Guardian behind. So what I'm going to do is beat on you until you tell me you're hiding Nicky Tesla.
Evil Paul Rudd: You have to catch me first!
And with that.. for the second week in a row Paul tosses Jake to the wolves.. shoving him into Alex Richards, who grabs him.
Alex Richards: Like I said.. you don't understand loyalty. Why are you hanging out with this guy anyways?
Alex doesn't wait for an answer. He quickly drops Steele with the spiked Samoan punch.. Jake drops to the ground holding his throat. Meanwhile Rudd slides through Alex's legs and makes a beeline for the door. Only to run right into the massive form of Petrov holding a baseball bat no less.
Petrov: Petrov remembers you. You're the pussyfuck who thinks magnets are funny. You know what Petrov thinks is funny? Petrov go to play baseball but because Petrov is total fucking bad ass he hits his only ball so hard it breaks in two. You know, pussyfuck like you, your head looks like baseball.
Evil Paul Rudd: I'll buy you a new baseball! I'll buy you a dozen baseballs! Just don't..
Alex Richards: You don't get it do ya, Paul. Sooner or later, everyone you wrong catches up with you. So I'm gonna let Petrov have his fun. I'll be back in a few minutes to collect my information. Have fun.
Alex walks past Petrov whistling the theme to the Andy Griffith show. Only to get nailed right in the ribs by the baseball bat! Petrov blasts Alex in the skull with the bat! Then does it again! Then places the bat around Alex's throat applying a modified version of the camel clutch. Paul meanwhile decides to gloat.
Evil Paul Rudd: I AM smarter than you Alex. I always.. always have a backup plan! My back up plans have backup plans! I hired Petrov to aid me in my death match against you. You know what I promised him? When Alex Richards is permanently defeated, erased even, I would give him a new, upgraded robotic body courtesy of Nikola Tesla.
Petrov: You may be pussyfuck, but you make Petrov good offer. I'll be even more total fucking bad ass if I can shoot laser beams out of my eyes!
Evil Paul Rudd: What you really need to know Alex is that I always.. fucking win!
Alex Richards: Fuck you.. this ain't over..
Evil Paul Rudd grabs the television from the wall and smashes it over the skull of Alex Richards spitting over his bald head.
Evil Paul Rudd: Now it's over. Alex... evil always wins. And as for you..
Paul turns to Elvira, the B horror movie icon looks more than a little shaken by what she just saw.
Evil Paul Rudd: We totally have to work together. Give me a call, I would gladly do a guest spot on movie macabre.
Evil Paul jots his information down on a piece of paper and hands it to Elvira.
Evil Paul Rudd: C'mon Steele.. we have to go.
Jake Steele stumbles to his feet, coughing, holding his throat. He stumbles out after Rudd. Petrov also leaves after throwing his bat through a window just for the hell of it. Elvira tucks the piece of paper in her cleavage before calling for help for Alex as the scene fades out. |
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:50:32 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:52:05 GMT -6
Rising Stars Tournament Round One Matt Angel vs. Cormack MacNeill
Taylor Lorde: The following is scheduled for one fall!
"I will Show You" By From Ashes To New blasts from the PA system, Matt Angel walks out and with his arms raised he walks down the ramp way high-fiving the fans. He jumps onto the apron and climbs the turnbuckle and also celebrates cheering to the fans.
Jimmy Garcia: Big spot to debut here for Matt Angel!
Sebastian Reid: A win here would be huge!
Gravedigger: I think his opponent is thinking the same right now.
The drone of the pipes fills the air as MacNeill slowly walks out onto the entrance ramp. He stops and looks around at the raucous cheering crowd. He takes a moment and brings his fist to his chest before raising it in salute.
As the drums kick in, MacNeill walks slowly down to the ring, stopping at the end of the ramp to eye the ring(his opponent) before climbing up and sliding into the ring. With great ceremony, he unclasps his kilt and hands it to the ring attendant before taking up a position in his corner and using the ropes to stretch out and warm up.
Jimmy Garcia: Cormack MacNeill in a UCI ring? This makes another major signing for UCI!
Sebastian Reid: No kidding. This guy is tough as nails!
The two get into position, stretching out in anticipation as the ref calls for the bell.
DING DING DING!
Gravedigger: Tie up here, Cormack MacNeill quickly whipping around with the arm right under the chin now.
Sebastian Reid: Cormack really cranking on it early on, trying to slow the pace of Matt Angel very early on.
As Cormack tries to bring Matt to the ground, the aerial superstar pushes back up, spinning out and catching MacNeill by surprise.
Jimmy Garcia: Twist of Fate out of nowhere from Matt Angel! He calls that The Prophecies End!
With a big pop from the crow, Matt pumps himself up before stepping through the ropes and climbing to the top turnbuckle.
Gravedigger: Shooting star press from Angel!
Sebastian Reid: Nooooo! Cormack with the knees up!
Jimmy Garcia: Big time counter as Cormack grabs Angel in the small package!
1!
2!
NO!
Gravedigger: Just barely there!
Sebastian Reid: Big awareness by both men early on and I think it’s safe to say that we’ve seen a respectable amount of damage done both ways in just the first few sequences tonight!
Cormack pushes up a bit, pulling Angel to a sitting position as he clobbers him in the head with a couple of stiff elbows.
Gravedigger: Another pin attempt from MacNeill.
1!
KICKOUT!
Jimmy Garcia: Not quite, but definitely wearing Angel down right now!
MacNeill pulls Angel to his feet, yanking his opponent forward and sending him off the ropes.
Sebastian Reid: Hurricanrana from Angel!
Cormack is sent flying across the ring as Angel bounds off the ropes.
Gravedigger: Another hurricanrana, Angel feeling it here.
MacNeill is once again sent flying across the ring, barely able to stand as Angel runs at him again.
Jimmy Garcia: Angel with the crossbody!
Sebastian Reid: INSTANT HANGOVER! Nasty big boot from MacNeill!
Gravedigger: He caught Angel sideways and damn near kicked his head off!
Jimmy Garcia: Here’s the pin!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match, Cormack MacNeill!
Sebastian Reid: Cormack advances to round two at Summermania!
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:53:00 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 24, 2017 23:58:38 GMT -6
Mustache Segment
“Turbo Lover” by Judas Priest plays. Mama Mustache, Ulysses Nabrow, and Papa Stache all walk out to the ring. Papa Stache poses but Mama grabs him by the arm and drags him down the aisle.
Sebastian Reid: You know, I’m practically resigned to the fact that Mama Mustache is going to come out here and spew her vomit all over us while her sons make a mockery of the Tag Team Championships.
Gravedigger: Vomit? Mockery? Have some respect for wrestling royalty.
Sebastian Reid: Yeah, royalty.
Jimmy Garcia: Well, before Mama can say anything, our broadcast colleague Dani Applegate is in the ring and I’m being told she has a few questions for Mama Mustache.
They enter the ring and are met by Dani Applegate. The music stops.
Mama Mustache: What the fuck are ya doin’ in the gawd damn ring? This is OUR gawd damn television time!
Dani Applegate: I understand that, Mama Mustache, but I had a few questions if you don’t mind.
Mama Mustache: Well, I do fuckin’ mind but I’ll indulge ya. Make it quick!
Dani Applegate: Thank you. In just a few moments you’ll be introducing two new “clients” of Mama Mustache Managerial Services, Incorporated to take on your sons, the Super Stache Brothers, for the UCI Tag Team Championship. A lot of people over the past few weeks have been saying that after your sons lost to the team of Defenestration Jones and Casey Holliday, you created this managerial agency to basically feed opponents to your sons, helping them fulfill their obligation to defend their titles while at the same time making it easy for them hold on to those titles. What do you have to say to that accusation?
Papa Stache butts in.
Papa Stache: Well, let me tell you something, brother…
Mama Mustache: You ain’t tellin’ her fuckin’ nothin’, ya dumb prick! Go sit in ya chair in the fuckin’ timekeeper’s area and stay there!
Papa Stache leaves the ring with his head hanging down.
Mama Mustache: Now listen, ya mannequin with a microphone: I ain’t got nothin’ to say about these accusations. First of all, who’s sayin’ that shit, Sebastian fuckin’ Reid?
She looks at Sebastian, who just shrugs his shoulder nonchalantly.
Mama Mustache: Hey Sebastian, eat this!
She grabs her crotch.
Gravedigger: Well, Jimmy, at least she didn’t say it to you.
Mama Mustache: And ya know what, Jimmy, if there’s any left over afta Sebastian’s done, you can have some, too.
Jimmy Garcia vomits.
Gravedigger: Whoops, spoke too soon.
Mama Mustache: Oh, grow up Jimmy. Like ya neva seen a pussy before. Well, actually, knowing you, ya probably haven’t.
She turns back to Dani Applegate.
Mama Mustache: If people got somethin’ to say about me and my family, they can say it to our gawd damn faces. Secondly, my boys have been comin’ out here every gawd damn week and defendin’ those GAWD DAMN GANG BANG TITLES like the fuckin’ champions that they are. Who cares who the hell it’s against? It’s not like there’s any otha teams here in the UTI that are steppin’ up to take on my boys besides Damian Kaine and Kaz Mazy, and that fuckin’ shit ain’t happening until Meltdown when Damian gets back from playin’ movie star on some C movie in Hollywood. These fuckin’ people who are talkin’ shit about us should be thankin’ me for findin’ challenguhs to take on my boys. Besides Zawmbie MacMorris, Biff and Buff are the hardest workin’ champions in the UCI. Not that Intacuntinental Champion Casey Hawlliday, not that Risin’ Stars Champion Calvin Harryass, and especially not that time travelin’ skank Bawnie Bitchface, who should stop dodgin’ me like I was HIV and give me a shawt at that World Gawd Damn Title!
Dani Applegate: Well, speaking of that, Spencer Adams has denied your demands for a World Title shot and last week said “no” to your demand for a match between you and him before he was viciously beaten by you and the Super Stache Brothers. Are you worried about any retaliation from Spencer?
Mama Mustache: Retaliation? HA! Don’t make me laugh, sweetie. Spencah Adams is probably hiding in a bathroom stawll somewhere waitin’ until we leave the building so that we don’t beat his ass again. Spencah, I know you can hear me, so listen up: I still want my gawd damn title shawt and I still want my gawd damn match with you, and until you give me those two things, I’m gonna find you no mattuh where ya hide and beat you just like I did Biff when I cawght him stickin’ my vibratuh up his ass when he was six!
Sebastian Reid: That explains a lot.
Mama Mustache: You gawt any more gawd damn questions?
Dani Applegate: Um, no, that was all.
Mama Mustache: Good, now get the fuck out of my ring before Ulysses here whips out his dick and starts beating you in the face with it like he did to me when we were kids!
Sebastian Reid: That explains a lot, too.
Dani leaves the ring.
Mama Mustache: So allow me ta intraduce the newest signees to Mama Mustache’s Managerial Menage a trois… DEFLOWER AND WHORY!
Gravedigger: Look at these two impressive men. Clearly they are the most dominant force in tag team wrestling today, well, next to the Super Stache Brothers of course. Sebastian Reid: I think I’m gonna be sick. The bell rings and the match begins. Buff starts off the match with DeFlower, the larger of the two men. Meanwhile on the outside of the ring both Biff and Whory circle the ring and entertain female guests in the first row. After a back and forth of the ages DeFlower gets Buff in a full nelson. Buff drops to one knee, then the other. Gravedigger: OH NO! Buff is going out. It looks like DeFlower and Whory are gonna win this one! The Referee, Ulysses NaBrow, raises Buffs hand once and it drops. Then he raises it a second time and it drops again. Gravedigger: One more drop and we have new Gang Bang Champions! Sebastian Reid: That’s not what they’re called. Gravedigger: Sorry, GAWD DAMN Gang Bang Champions! NaBrow raises Buffs hand a third time, but it doesn’t drop. He raises a finger in the air and points to the sky and starts shaking it. He then raiss his other finger and creates a circle with his thumb and forefinger. Then he starts inserting his pointer into the circle in and out repeatedly, over and over again, grunting and moaning the whole time as he seems to gain a second wind and gets to his feet. A member of the crowd screams 'GET IT IN!' He powers out of the Full Nelson and tosses DeFlower into the ropes. When he returns he hits a big boot, then a leg drop then tags in Biff. Biff drops down, pins DeFlower while punching him repeatedly in the balls while the referee is focused on his shoulders. 1…2…3!!! Mama Mustache: The winna’s of ‘dis match and STILL UTI GAWD DAMN GANG BANG CHAMPIONS… THE GREATEST TAG TEAM IN WRESTLING HISTORY… THE SUPAH STACHE BROTHAS! Suddenly, Spencer Adams’ music plays. He comes out and stands at the top of the aisle, staring straight at the Mustaches in the ring. Mama motions for Spencer to get in the ring but Spencer doesn’t move. He continues to stare at his foes when suddenly, Betty Adams walks out from behind him and stands to his left. The crowd pops. Jimmy Garcia: IT’S BETTY ADAMS! Spencer and Betty look at each other and march down towards the ring. Sebastian Reid: My god! The mother of the UCI owner is marching down to the ring right beside him. Gravedigger: You don’t think...she’s not...she’s not going to stand up to the Mustache Family, is she?! Sebastian Reid: A mother can only take so much before she has to step in and defend her child from a bunch of thugs! The Adamses get in the ring. They engage in a standoff with the Mustaches. Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME [clap clap clap clap clap] THIS IS AWESOME [clap clap clap clap clap] Like a bat out of hell, Betty runs across the ring and spears Mama Mustache. They roll around on the ground, punching and pulling at each other’s hair. The crowd pops. Sebastian Reid: CATFIGHT!!! Jimmy Garcia: That’s not a catfight, that’s a COUGAR FIGHT!!! Gravedigger: That’s not a cougar fight, that’s a SILVER COUGAR FIGHT!!! Spencer runs across the ring and takes out Biff and Buff with a double front dropkick. Biff gets up and goes to clothesline Spencer, but Spencer ducks and hits an atomic drop, which sends Biff bouncing over the top rope and down to the floor. Ulysses grabs Spencer in a full nelson. Buff goes to punch Spencer but Spencer escapes and Ulysses gets knocked out. Buff turns around and Spencer hits a standing shooting star reverse STO. Sebastian Reid: QUARANTINE!!! The crowd pops. Papa Stache spins Spencer around and points at him. Crowd: YOU! Gravedigger: Vintage Roid Rogers! Jimmy Garcia: Are we going to see Roid Rogers fight once again after all this time?! What a moment! Papa punches Spencer three times, sends him off the ropes and goes to hit the big boot, but Spencer catches the foot, spins Papa around and hits another Quarantine. Another huge pop. Sebastian Reid: Spencer stopped that big boot that has felled many an opponent! Gravedigger: How disrespectful! I’d pay a million dollars to get Roid Rogers’ boot planted in my face! Biff pulls Buff, Papa, and Ulysses out of the ring. Meanwhile, Betty is on top of Mama, choking her and slamming her head into the mat. Gravedigger: Anyone else hard? Mama manages to push Betty off of her and quickly rolls out of ring and running into the arms of her family, who’s now in the aisle. Crowd: BETTY ADAMS! [clap clap clap clap clap] BETTY ADAMS! [clap clap clap clap clap] Betty grabs a microphone. Betty Adams: Hey, Ursula, you want to kick my boy in the balls?! You and your family want to gang up on him like a bunch of gutless cowards?! Well, I’ll tell you what, my son is too honorable to step into this ring and assault an old lady...BUT I’M NOT! The crowd cheers. Betty Adams: So why don’t you step into this ring and fight me at Summermania, BITCH! The crowd pops. Sebastian Reid: WHOA! Did she just challenge Mama Mustache to a match?! Jimmy Garcia: I think she did! Mama tries to run back into the ring but her family holds her back. She nods her head frantically. The camera picks up her response. Mama Mustache: Ya want me, bitch! Ya gawt it! Ya fuckin’ gawt it!!! The crowd cheers. Jimmy Garcia: Oh my god! For the first time that I can ever recall in professional wrestling, we are going to see a Silver Cougar Fight on pay-per-view! Sebastian Reid: I can’t wait! Betty Adams is going to teach that jezebel a lesson! Mama continues to struggle, but her family pulls her down the aisle and through the curtain. Spencer Adams’ music plays. He raises his mom’s hand up in the air as the show cuts to commercial. |
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Post by Results on Jul 25, 2017 0:00:04 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 25, 2017 0:01:45 GMT -6
Rising Stars Tournament Round One Oblivion vs. Karlie Nash
Jimmy Garcia: This next match will be one, that everyone will be talking about for vary long time!!
Gravedigger: What the Hell are you talking about?! Oooohhh that's RIIIIIIGHT!!! Oblivion versus Karlie Nash!! This WIIIIILL be a good match!!
Gravedigger sits back with some popcorn with a sinister smile!!
Sebastian Reid: What are YOU doing?!
Gravedigger: I know Oblivion!! I went to war with Oblivion!! If miss Karlie Nash thinks this will be a cakewalk she has another thing coming!!
Jimmy Garcia: These are two competitors that the crowd are completely behind.
Gravedigger: Reid!! You better tell your boy!! Oblivion has a STRONG, yet unusual fan base!! You all heard it... Once The Monster steps out, this crowd, for Oblivion or against IT, The T-Mobile Arena WILL explode!! Gaureendamntee it!!
: The house lights go out, as lighter colored lights come on. The multiple cameras pan around the jam packed T-Mobile Arena. The fans are holding up various signs. The atmosphere is explosive and the crowd is cheering. "Oblivion" by Mastadon begins to play. The blaring guitar begins to play.
The house lights go out. The crowd begins to murmur. Strobe lights begin to flash, as bright white lasers begin to flash. Two bright spotlights hit the entrance stage. The music continues to thump. Some of the fans are thrashing and/or dancing a long with the music...
BOOM!!
Explosive fire pyro shoots straight up, on the stage and down the ramp. Then right about that time, Oblivion slowly comes, with a dead stare. The music continues the blare out and rattled the arena.
Oblivion slowly begins to walk down to the edge of the entrance stage, bringing in the cheers, of the crowd. The Monster is carrying a constricting viper.
Jimmy Garcia: Is that a snake Oblivion has with him?!
Gravedigger: IT!! Oblivion wants to be called IT!! Unless you wanna be stuffed in IT's black van, I suggest you keep u with the lingo. No, that's not just any snake. That's a constrictor viper!! That's badass!!
Sebastian Reid: Are those spiders crawling all over The Monster too?! EEEEEEEEEWWWWW!! Did I see bugs crawl on IT too?! OH MY GOD!!!
Gravedigger: Listen to you two!! Bunch of pansies!! This is what Oblivion does... Psychological mind games!!!
Crowd: OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!!
Past the entrance stage there are sixteen hooded cloaked individuals, eight on each side of the aisle, with their heads down. Chanting...
Hooded individuals: A-WHOO!! AWHOO!! AWHOO!!
Taylor Lorde: From The Deepest and Darkest Side of a Sick Man's Mind... Weighing in at 325 pounds... IT is The Monster... Oblivion!!
Oblivion drags IT's right leg as drags along a sledgehammer. The Monster snears at a nearby camera, right before Oblivion slowly run up the steel steps and climb the turnbuckle from out the ring, once again throwing up IT's massive right arm.
Crowd: OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!!
Oblivion leaps into the ring, stomping around, taking long strides, barking, shaking the top ring rope. Some bugs and spiders fall down to the mat and scatter. The nearby fans scream. Oblivion walks to a nearby corner, Combs halfway up, holding the constricting viper above IT's head. Oblivion drops down to the mat, hands the snake to a snake handler.
Gravedigger: Some say The Monster lost IT's way, but it looks like Oblivion looks refocused!!
Sebastian Reid: Now, it's time for Karlie Nash!!
War Machine by AC/DC plays in the arena, Tracy steps on the stage and moves to the side, Karlie steps on the stage, Tracy and Karlie walks to the ring showing disdain for the crowd.
Tracy Lorde: From St. Paul. Minnesota... Weighing in at 172 ponds!! She is The Cougar Hunter!! Karlie.... Nash!!!
Tracy walks up the steps and enters the ring, Karlie climbs the ropes from outside and flashes the loser sign to the crowd, she then climbs down and stretches in her corner!!!
Jimmy Garcia: The referee Paul Stevens signals for the bell.
[DING-DING!!]
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
Instantly, Oblivion charges towards Karlie Nash...
Gravedigger: TOLD YOU!!
Jimmy Garcia: The Monster charges at The Cougar Hunter, missing her!! Hitting the turnbuckles!!
Sebastian Reid: The force of the hit caused Oblivion to bounce of the turnbuckles.
WHAM!!
Gravedigger: Karlie Nash took advantage of Oblivion's mistake with a dropkick!!
Jimmy Garcia: The Monster didn't even budge!!
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
Sebastian Reid: Another dropkick!!
Gravedigger: That one rocked The Dark One!!
Karlie rakes the eyes of Oblivion then boots The Monster in the gut...
Jimmy Garcia: That's playing dirty pool!!
Karlie Nash runs, bounces off the ropes, charges behind Oblivion...
THWACK!!!
Sebastian Reid: Chop block!!
Karlie takes off again, bounces off the ropes...
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
Gravedigger: Dropkick!! I am so surprised, it's been all Karlie Nash up to this point!!
Oblivion looks stunned.
Jimmy Garcia: The Monster looks absolutely stunned!! Struggling to stand up. IT's eyes... See Digger, I'm learning. IT's eyes are glossing over. This match is already over!!
Oblivion's hands begin to shake.
Gravedigger: Um... Oblivion's eyes are NOT glazing over from being defeated... They're glazing over from EXTREME anger!!
Jimmy Garcia/Sebastian Reid: OOOOOHHH!!!
Karlie Nash runs and bounces off the ropes...
WHOOSH-WHAM!!!
Gravedigger: CAN U SAY NITE-NITE!?
Oblivion nails Karlie with a superkick and immediately makes a pin attempt, referee Paul Stevens slides in...
The crowd: ONE!!
The crowd: TWO!!
The crowd: THREEEEE.... NOOOOOOO!!!
KICKOUT!!!
Frustrated, with what was a sure victory, The Monster mounts Karlie and proceeds to pound down with massive lefts and rights...
Sebastian Reid: OUT OF NOWHERE!!! MODIFIED TRIANGLE CHOKE!!
Oblivion flails all over...
Gravedigger: She has that thing deep!! Paul Stevens is checking on Oblivion to see if IT wants to submits!!
The Monster squirms and moves...
Paul Stevens: Karlie Nash break the submission!! One....
Karlie Nash: Do I have to?!
Paul Stevens: Two!!
Karlie Nash: NOOOOOO!!!
Paul Stevens: Threeeeee!!
Karlie Nash: NOT GONNA DO IT!!
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie Nash needs to be careful or she'll be disqualified!!
Paul Stevens: Four!!
Karlie Nash: SCREAM MONSTER!!
Paul Stevens: Fi-...
Karlie Nash let's go of the triangle choke and Oblivion leaves the ring.
Sebastian Reid: With Oblivion trying to catch IT's breath and adjust IT's arm, Karlie Nash is perched on the top turnbuckle.
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
Karlie Nash nails Oblivion with a flying forearm. Karlie picks up The Monster, who knees her in the mid-section...
WHOOSH-WHAM-CLANG!!!
Gravedigger: YES!! Here we go!!!
Oblivion picks up Karlie...
WHOOSH-WHAM-CLANG!!!
Jimmy Garcia: OH MY GOD!! That's called...
Gravedigger: That's right... Hangover... Gutwrench powerbomb!!
Sebastian Reid: But... On the ringside steps?!
The Monster drags Karlie Nash off the steps...
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie Nash is standing, wobbly but standing... Oblivion swing at Karlie misses...
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
Karlie Nash kicks The Monster with a Big Boot...
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
...follows that up with Clothesline from Hell!! Oblivion collapses, but Karlie picks up The Monster and proceeds to bash Oblivion's skull against the security railing. The Dark One's face is now a crimson mask. Karlie Nash rolls Oblivion into the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie Nash is showing us her vicious side tonight!!
The Cougar Hunter grabs The Monster for a double undertook piledriver!!
WHOOSH-WHAM!!
Gravedigger: UPPER BODY INJURY!!!
Sebastian Reid: THAT'S IT!!
Paul Stevens slides in...
The crowd: ONE!!
The crowd: TWO!!
The crowd: THREEEEEEE!!!
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match... Karlie Nash!!! |
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Post by Results on Jul 25, 2017 0:03:22 GMT -6
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: Summerslam is nearing and like a this fire I will burn away the chaff that stands in my way. Be it Dead or not I will accept any who dare to lay an open challenge out upon the airwaves. In time you will see just who I am but until then know that I am watching always watching