Post by SEAMAC on Jun 10, 2017 13:05:24 GMT -6
UCI – Overload 6/12
TV Championship Match
Triple Threat
Zombie McMorris
vs.
Psychopomp
vs.
Bolas De Arana
___________________________________
~ Damian Kaine -> I done told Jew. ~
~ American Deadite Darkness Pt 1 ~
Northern Alberta
Deep in the wilderness of Alberta, the Syfy Camera crew is filming B-roll for American Deadite Darkness. Getting cabin shots, getting woods and creek and moose N’ shit. Majestic as fawk. Everything was fine.
until the darkness came….
~ The Ultimate Media Champion Speaks! ~
What I tell you, what I tell you -> what in dah world did ya boi -> ol’ Z tell you.
You know what he told you. He told you Damian Kaine weren’t gone be no thang and guess what -> he wasn’t no thang at all!. No sir! No how! Now we kh-kh-kh-khuggin right along into the first week of this Ultimate Media Championship reign and before ol’ Z is nothing but pay-thet-(S)ic -> pasty -> sorry -> broke -> two jokes fo the price of one-> beat down -> mo fawks.
Bolas De Arana and Psychopomp.
Now, Bolas and Psycho -> ya’ll got to think to yourself how and why ya’ll be in this match because it ain’t to redeem yourself for losing the Rising Star strap or cuz you beat NSK.
Who the fuck is NSK to ya boi -> ol’ Z? Ain’t nobody. He a ghost-> a figment -> like you boys are to ol’ Z. You exist so that on paper, ol’ Z has a ‘challenge.’ But lets face it -> you ain’t. You both low curtain jerking sad sacks who exist only for me to defeat. Ain’t nobody looking at this like Bolas or Psycho can whoop ol’ Z. Ol’ Z -> he a world title contender BAY-BEY! He a step away from being in that world title match at Election Day and not even worrying about this shit! Ol’ Z about to be the only triple champion in UCI straight up hiZtory. Only man to hold three belts at one time cuz ain’t nobody gone stop me.
Not a psychopomp
Not a psychochop.
Cuz dat psycho about to be psycho-fuckin-stomped.
Spiders balls, this goofy fuckin’ mo fo better make sure he knows where he is cuz his dumb ass just got off at the wrong stop.
You in the wrong part of town to be k-k-k-ummin at ol’ Z like that -> be thinking shit be like NSK. NSK a FGT. He a fu-kay-Zee. He a fraud. He being investi-fuckin-gated like a cheap hand bag at a flea market.
Lock the doors Bolas-> they k-k-kummin fah you next.
Shee-it.. Ol’Z k-k-kumming for you next. He coming for you this week. Sunday night. No rules. All Weapons. No count outs. No nuttin but ol’ Z nuttin. Ol’ Z droppin goo like he be droping bombs.
and spoilers: I be droppin’ bombs.
I know that ol’ Z don’t look like success BUT THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE!
It don’t look like either one of you but I’ll tell you this. I’ll you this right fuckin’ now -> ya’ll gone look a whole lot different when ol’ Z gets done with you. Shee-it -> like ol’ Z gone easy on you or something LOL
Or something.
Fuck. You boys better bring a gun or something. Put ol’ Z down quick or sumthin cuz the longer this match goes, the better it is for ya boi -> ol’ Z. This match is already in my favor.
1. I’m not you.
2. I’m ol’ Z
3. I’m the double champion to end all double champions.
4. It’s a triple threat.
5. Its easier for me to take you out than it is for you to take me out.
I got that cocaine. You got that coke-lame. You a pepsi cola dream with that aspertaine sickness. Be getting’ a hole in the dome if’n you think you can defeat ol Z this week. Zombie McMorris about to go out there -> walk the glass and put boots to asses. Curb stomp on a step ladder if’n you get my drift.
If’n you do.
IF’N YA’LL MOTHERS DON’T NEED TO GET IT CUZ THE RESULT IS STILL THE SAME.
WHAM BAM
CURB STOMP
WHAM BAM
AXE WOUND
WHAM BAM
DOVE KILLER EXTRODINAIR.
1
2..
3..
ZMAC retains.
Cuz trash bird givith and he taketh away.
and this week trash bird done gave ol’ Z an easy week.
Hey my boi-> the straight up savage -> spencer adams.
keep feedin’ me your sick and your dying.
ol’ Z getting super powahs up in here
LOL
~ On the Set OR Get Set UP ? ~
Que into some bogus Hollywood sound stage in the hills of men so rich they don’t even remember where the money trail even began. It was here where ZMACs crossroads of ideology came to head. Mother fuckin CGI? How can one act in front of a green screen? What does one have to react to?
“Alright ol’ Z, this is the part where the deadite rises from the groud. Give me something special.” Says the director
ZMAC looks unimpressed and annoyed at the prospect of acting off nothing.
“You know, I’ve fought mythical beasts right? I ain’t no chump bitch afraid of no ghosts. Besides there ain’t even nothing here. Its just me and some green tape and some dude lookin like a ping pong monstah spit his goofy ass up.”
“Yah, Z, he’s the monster. We’re going to CGI over him.”
“Shee-it, Stan Winston be rolling over in his grave if’n he saw this shit. Practical effects are making a k-k-k-kumm back.”
“Z, you don’t have to be in character. We arnt filming yet.”
“Knee-grown, this is how I talk. Ain’t chu evah seen my movies? Juice? That was a good one.. Deep blue sea.. They ate me – a mother fuckin’ shark - ”
Suddenly ZMAC gets tackled by producers and Dave Chappelle because jokes from over a decade ago is all he got and you don’t want to hurt that dudes feelings. He might run away to some dark continent and sing kumbaya in a loin cloth or some shit, snortin peyote powder off some big tittay’d bitch with a bone in her nose. Dude, if’n you be with a long lost tribe, how jew find your way back? Shee-it, but Netflix be payin you like forty mill just to cry and complain. Now go and do the pancake sketch. Prince is dead, he don’t care.
Blouses Bitch!
#oh #wait. Scenes not over.
I guess Dave Chappelle wrestles ya boi -> ol’ Z to the ground and demands an apology with one of those little injin tears rollin’ down his face, like ZMAC just threw a drink cup into the purifying waters of lake Minnetonka. Damian Kaine is all confused cuz he don’t know how he do.
LIKE A FUCKIN’ DOUBLE CHAMP, DK. YOU FUCKIN JAY-BRONE.
Back at the plot.exe -> Security separates ol’ Z and a washed up comic whose tryin’ to get his life together but yet he’s just an extra in this Syfy movie. He plays “Larry” and will probably get nominated for an Oscar because he’s like the black Heath Ledger and he’s wicked edgy and art-Z or sum shit.
“ Yo son -> just go sit over there, screw another Newport into your gums and drink a forty ounce until we need Jew. If’n not -> I’mma knot you up.” Barks ol’ Z.
“THIS SHITS CRAP! I HAD IT!” Yells Dave Chappelle. “THIS MOTHER FUCKER HAS BEEN ON MY SHIT ALL DAMN DAY!”
Its true. ZMAC has been poking fun at Dave Chappelle for the last twelve hours. But DC is a punk bitch and can’t handle that good good.
Security finally gets the two apart as Dave walks the other way, off set and out of sight. Just like his entire career. It’d be poetic if’n it wasn’t true.
#oh #wait. Shit is true. Shit is true and Bolas and Psycho are sittin there not knowin what the fuck tah do cuz to be THE UCU TV CHAMP, you fuccbois got to BE THE MOTHER FUCKIN TV CHAMP. Ya’ll ain’t. Ya’ll cant match this shit. Now go and pull your shitty promo about trying hard and over k-k-k-uming the odds and shit or how ol’ Z ain’t shit or sum shit.
Shee-it. Ol’ Z can say shit a million times in a row and beat cho asses like molasses.
Spoilers: that’s what he’s been doing all along.
“Alright, Z. I think we’ll just break for now. We gotta make sure Dave hasn’t hopped a flight to the congo to hide for another ten years.”
Truth son. Art imitating life over here. And ZMAC just straight up killin’ it.
~ TMZ Special Report ~
In a TMZ special Report, word has gotten out that comedy actor Dave Chappelle has once again disappeared to parts unknown because he’s a punk bitch who ain’t worth nuttin. When TMZ went to the Chappelle home for comment all they said was that they “love their new daddy, Daddy Z.”
There have been no reports of where Dave Chappelle went and only the ten people in the world who watch his show on syndication care and really, fuck those people.
- That dude from TMZ with the waterbottle. You know the one.
~ THANK THE WORLD ~
Psychopomp -> Bolas. Thank the world. Thank the world for such an unfortunate predicament. Thank the world for your shitty, malcontent place in life. Reflect on it. Is this really where you want to be? Sure you might -> stress that word -> MIGHT be doing something you love but do you really love this?
Truly -> love this? You both love being shit stain jobbers in the U. I means, dats cool if’n you do. I can respect that shit if you do. I got respect for anyone following whats in their bones.
That’s what life is truly about. It ain’t about what Shadowlove be doin, fah example. It aint about cars and women and the grind upon grind to get next to nothing when you die.
This week, you both are going to die.
Thank the world for everything currently in your life because I understand that you both see this a great opertunity. Perhaps it is if’n the man with the strap wasn’t ya boi -> ol’ Z.
But it is.
But it is and that leaves you two fuccbois out in the cold on this one. Ol’ Z been in this game a couple of years now and make no mistake about it -> this success aint no secret. This is what happens when you aint held bac -> When that straight up Savage, Spencer Adams don’t hold ya boi back.
Ya see, I spent a couple years being held back-> I was taking joy in a couple scant pay checks and dropin FGTs on their skulls. I had those outlier belts, much like I got now except my dominance is much more prominent. I’m rollin through the U on fire. I know the world wants to give out to that shitty Casey Holliday but ol’ Z done put her in her place.
#check_mate #Kitchen #MAKIN_SAMMY_J’Z_ALL_DAMN_DAY
ZMAC touched her life and she found it in her to hold that Intercontinental strap. But ol’ Z kk-k-kummin at chu strong armmin’ this media trip. Which one of you gone come down and take it from me?
You Bolas? You? You walkin up here with a stiff trip tryin to run down ya boi ol’ dirty style.
Nah. No way. Ol’ Z ain’t thinkin that nor iz he going out like that. But ol’ Z gone tell you how you two fuccbois gone go out.
Try the two on one game, try the weapons game. If theres one thing I’m good it -> its taking a fucking beating. I’ve died in the middle of the ring more than once -> trust me -> you aint gotta get to take it that far. But I got stamina on my side. So the longer we go, the longer you boys toil with whose getting that one up -> ol’ Z gets stronger.
Listen -> I know that this is some new unfounded territory for you both and that’s scary. It is scary. I am a scary dude. I lurk and I stalk. I’m in your house and I’m ready to kill. I came to the U to kill. I came to the U to get everything I can get my hands on. This week I get my hands on you both. A twist of the neck and we off. The world already knows that I’m better than you both and trustfully -> you both know it as well.
SO THANK THE WORLD.
Thanks the world that the madman is in your house -> a k-k-k-krazed killah with ill’ah fo intentions. About to rock on up to that election day tri -> if’n the world wants a shake up for that title scene.
If’n not -> ol’ Z be right here, keepin fuccboi and homebody nobodies in K—k-kheck. What this is about is ol’ Z hanging onto whats his. Its what I earned. I whooped so much as to get these two straps and aint no spider balls or pussy licked cleaned dick done gone stop me.
In a couple days, after ol’ Z beats you both -> its back down to jobbing out. That’s where you both belong. Neither one of you are world champ material -> Let alone Ultimate Media Champion material.
Ya’ll just Zombie Jobbers.
About to get Z-Wrekt.
I know ya’ll be hearing about Bonnie wakin dudes up. Getting woken and swollen. Mushroom tip style. I Right now, ya’ll FGTs need to be woke. You FGTs be dreamin a schemin’ if’n you be thinkin that any plan you got for the coked up mad man gone work.
LOL
You be doin’ werk -> workin’ N’ Tay-werkin dem azz checks cuz ol’ Z about to bust them like double D’s on a hawt summahs Day.
Busty.
Lusty.
Bonnie Blue knows whats up.
She dah Worlds champ. Got two perfect globes right there on her chest. Love em. They Beautiful. She beautiful. Lick them up like ice cream on a San An-Tone Side Walk. Supah Hawt. Supah Dirty.
Like ol’ Z gone do tah ya’ll.
Bolas be talkin’ like he the voice of the people well this is Dat Dark-Merica. Dat Hawt Amerik-k-k-k-k-an darkness. You aint be talkin cuz you got a k-k-k-k-ollective three hunnit million cocks N’ poon of plenty in yo mouth. Be Gaggin’ on Freedom like Putin be gaggin’ on post modern FGT art.
DIS-FUCKIN-GUSTIN
but chu know what -> dats beauty son. Theres beauty in dat hawt destruction. Theres beauty when ZMAC lays waste to a peoples here like Bolas.
Cuz peeps like a bad guy. Peeps like a bad guy the way I like Bonnie Blues world class nips.
So you gotta remember, Bolas. You can die the people favorite -> fuckin strapless N’ hopeless or live long enough to get your wrektum wrek’t.
N’ you might be thinkin’ that bad times don’t last but chu know what -> chico -> bad people do.
and ol’ Z.
He’s the worst.
the fuckin’ worst.
So say your Spanish prayers N’ eat your Spanish fuckin vitamins N’ sing your fuckin’ Spanish song.
Here -> I’ll start it fo’ yah.
LOL Nah not that but like there ain’t nothing more culturally devastating than a bunch of drunk Scotts improving some of the worst of your culture ( LOL fuck you -> its all bad ) with the worst instrument this side of the Myanmar skin flute.
Yah -> son Dats more like it.
Sharks kummin -> ZMACs kummin.
And when I leave -> ya’ll wont be the same but one things fo sure
THIS BELTS KUMMIN’ WITH ME.
Wit hell in my wake.
DEUCES BITCH!
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