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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:16:51 GMT -6
The Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Missouri has been sold out for the second anniversary of UCI Presents: Lazarus. Some pretty historic moments has happened under this PPV. The 20,000 arena has been completely filled. Each seat holding each butt of crazy loyal fans of UCI coming from all around the world. The camera turns over to Gravedigger, Jimmy Garcia and Sebastian Reid sat behind the announce table.
The screen fades in from a distorted black, the sound of Saint Remi’s voice cuts in to separate a faint buzzing beat.
“Kraven and I both will be at Lazarus to retain OUR tag titles from you.”
Got loyalty, got royalty..
“BUT... I say we give the King of Hell a REAL SHOW.”
I got loyalty, got royalty..
“The Heaven or Hell match!”
Loyalty, got royalty..
“So don’t chu dare be souah.
Clap your hands for your world famous
soon to be TV Champ
and FEEEL…. DAATT… POWAH”
Got loyalty, got royalty..
“the Guardians will end the night, Stylin’ and Profilin’.”
I got loyalty, got royalty..
"The World is a canvas, My Crown is the Paintbrush."
Loyalty, got royalty..
“Your reign is over, Mad King. Long live the Hardcore Queen!"
The music fades as we are shown pure black. After a moment, the vocals and beat drop in harder as a montage of highlights between Bonnie and Bishop are shown.
This is my heritage, all I’m inheritin’, money and power the makin’ of marriages!
The song continues as we cut to the inside of Scottrade Center in St. Louis, greeted by the thousands of screaming loyals. Soon after, attention turns to the commentary team of Jimmy Garcia, Sebastian Reid, and Gravedigger.
Sebastian Reid: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Lazarus from good ol’ St. Louis, Missouri!
Jimmy Garcia: Quite the show we’ve got in store for you all tonight with two matches never before seen in a UCI ring!
Gravedigger: Plenty of surprises and big moments to be had, but what about that main event? The longest reigning UCI world champion against the only person to beat him in a one on one match? That’s money and that’s why we’re on PPV, baby!
Sebastian Reid: Heaven or Hell for the tag titles, an inferno ladder match! We’ve got Rising Stars, Intercontinental, and Television championships on the line as well!
Jimmy Garcia: One thing’s for sure, there will be history made at the Scottrade Center!
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:21:50 GMT -6
UCI Tag Team Championship Heaven and Hell Tag Team Match The Two Gents © vs The Soul Hunters
Taylor Lorde: The following is a heaven or hell match and is for the UCI tag team championship!
The lights in the arena go out and a silhouette of a short haired woman appears on the screen. Her eyes turn red and her lips do the same as she kisses the screen. Suddenly a hard rock "Bad Blood" in style of Disturbed plays and out walk Kraven Killjoy in his hunter gear and Saint Remi in a blue "Sell Your Soul" t shirt and a pair of Oakley aviator sunglasses. The two walk down the ramp passing up the fans who have their hands out. Killjoy and Remi climb into the ring and Remi holds his arms up in the air to take in the boos. The two enter the ring, both men’s eyes darting around to the ladders ringside as well as the pyro rig surrounding the ring as they await their opponents.
Jimmy Garcia: Former tag champs with a ton at stake tonight!
Sebastian Reid: The clock for these two seems to be ticking and if they’re going out, they’re gonna do it right!
A deep voice booms from the PA system "In the world of the fantasy land of Kem begot a new type of warrior, one which was created from the fires of the star Elume and forged in the great battles of the third age. A warrior so daring and so brave that King Dennis the maker himself would try to destroy him and fail. This man is more than man, he is legend"
The Crowd explodes as a twanging bass riff cuts through the stadium. All eyes converge on the entrance ramp as spotlights swirl through the audience.
Finally, with a burst of pyro and a screaming trumpet blast, Teddy Sol flies through the curtain, hands in the air, Andre Jenson following just behind. With a deep bow and a flourish from Teo, the two begin making their way to the ring. They lean over to high five the front row, posing with a few lucky fans for photos as they does so. The crowd offers appreciative applause and chants before the gents rolls under the ropes into the ring.
They turn towards a couple of turnbuckles and hop to the top, raising their hands before Teo backflips into the ring. They runs across to the opposite and Teo once again backflips onto his his feet. Finally, the chaps turn towards a ring corner and give a couple of thumbs up to the front row as they awaits the opening bell.
Jimmy Garcia: Champs looking as motivated as ever, not showing any sign of backing down from what is sure to be a hellacious match!
Sebastian Reid: Both teams are, Jimmy. They know that what they signed up for is about to do permanent damage to their mental and physical health!
Gravedigger: Let’s get some gore in this bitch! If anyone dies tonight, I’m giving free Doritos Loco tacos to everyone in attendance!
DING DING DING!!
Jimmy Garcia: Fists flying from the very start, Remi trading blows with Teo as Kraven and Jenson go toe to toe as well!
Sebastian Reid: I don’t think they’d have it any other way!
Remi and Kraven hit dual dropkicks on the champs and drop down to roll out under the bottom rope.
Gravedigger: Quick to retrieve a pair of ladders here.
Jimmy Garcia: Yep, they want to make this a quick one and avoid as much of this monstrosity as possible!
Kraven grin at one another before turning towards the ring again with ladders held horizontally across their chests.
Sebastian Reid: The flames flare up for the first time in this one!
Gravedigger: The challengers stuck on the outside here with Teo and Jenson back to their feet inside, appears to be a stalemate with the inferno keeping them apart.
Jimmy Garcia: Maybe not for long, Digger!
Jenson and Teo look at one another and nod their heads before dashing towards Remi and Kraven, leaping over the top with a double crossbody.
Sebastian Reid: The champs taking on the heat and taking out their opponents!
Gravedigger: Big collision their, all four with their guts meeting the steel.
Jimmy Garcia: The flames die back down, pretty cruel timing!
Sebastian Reid: I expect plenty of it tonight!
Teo and Jenson get to their feet before prying the ladders away from Remi and Kraven and sliding them into the ring. The champs slide in as well and begin to set the ladders up, looking to the belts suspended above the middle of the ring before taking their first step onto the ladders.
Gravedigger: Another quick burst of flame there, that one distracting the champs.
Jimmy Garcia: It dies out just as quickly though and here come Remi and Kraven!
Teo and Jenson try to climb the ladders as Kraven gets in position under Teo.
Sebastian Reid: Electric chair drop from Kraven!
Gravedigger: Fire flaring a bit from the impact there as Remi climbs up the opposite side of that other ladder, chasing after Jenson.
Jenson reaches for the belts, but is hit with a couple of elbows to the side of the head from Remi.
Jimmy Garcia: I believe we’re seeing a desperate man with nothing left to lose tonight!
Sebastian Reid: Make that four desperate men, Jimmy!
Remi swings a leg up to hit Jenson in the side before delivering a vicious headbutt that sends the champ flying off.
Gravedigger: Remi alone up top early.
Remi reaches up for the belts, but feels the ladder shake as he looks down to see Teo holding onto the base. Sol pulls himself up just enough by using the ladder for leverage before pushing against it and sending Remi off the top.
Jimmy Garcia: Remi tumbling to the mat, hard landing there!
Kraven pushes back to his feet, pulling Teo up by the head and delivering a couple of haymakers. He then sets him against the corner in a daze before reaching down to scoop up the fallen ladder.
Sebastian Reid: Here comes Kraven!
Gravedigger: Ladder smashed hard into Teo, just sandwiching the champion against the turnbuckles!
Teo collapses to the mat and rolls away, ladder positioned standing up against the corner.
Jimmy Garcia: Jenson to his feet, charging at Kraven now!
Kraven turns around just in time, whipping Jenson into the ladder and taking a step back as he does so.
Sebastian Reid: Kraven with the spear!
Jimmy Garcia: NO!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Gravedigger: Jenson side stepping in the knick of time as Kraven goes crashing through the ladder!
Sebastian Reid: UCI’s resident big game hunter just took himself out in this one!
Kraven slumps away and falls limp to the outside under the bottom rope while Teo struggles up using the ropes while Jenson recovers a bit opposite him on the mat.
Jimmy Garcia: Teo moving toward that second ladder, but Remi after him with a clubbing forearm to the back!
Gravedigger: Teo right back down and Remi seems to be reaching for something in his pocket now.
Remi shines a wicked smile as he pulls out a bottle of unmarked liquid which he then proceeds to pour across the ring mat, doing his best to spread it out.
Sebastian Reid: This spells trouble!
Remi turns around, pulling Teo up before smashing his head off the standing ladder and throwing him through the ropes to the outside. Remi begins his climb up the ladder, but is met by a refreshed Andre Jenson on the other side.
Jimmy Garcia: We’ve got a race on our hands!
Gravedigger: Big blow from Remi, but Jenson right back at him with a counter punch of his own!
Sebastian Reid: Remi spitting in the eyes of Jenson, the champ wiping at his eyes and trying to hold on with one arm now as Remi fires back with more big shots!
With Jenson temporarily blinded, Remi reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter which he flicks open and lets fall to the mat.
Jimmy Garcia: The ring is on fire! I had a feeling that’s what that substance was for!
Gravedigger: With Teo and Kraven on the outside, it’s just Jenson and Remi at the top now standing right over their own literal hell!
Sebastian Reid: Jenson trying to get back into this, but Remi shoving his foot into the hand that Jenson uses to hold on!
Staff rush to ringside with extinguishers, about to extinguish the flame spread across the mat just as Jenson recovers and hits an uppercut right on the button.
Jimmy Garcia: Remi off balance now as Jenson lifts the boot up over the top!
Gravedigger: Jenson pushing with all his might, trying to knock off Remi.
Sebastian Reid: Remi slipped! No way!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Jimmy Garcia: Remi is sent into the flames!
Gravedigger: Jenson stepping up, he reaches for the belts!
Sebastian Reid: CHAMPS RETAIN!!
DING DING DING!!
Taylor Lorde: The winners of this match and stiiiillll the UCI tag team champions, Teo del Sol and Andre Jenson!
Jimmy Garcia: Staff trying their hardest to extinguish the flames right now!
Gravedigger: The belts are still on the champions, but this is just madness!
Sebastian Reid: A very disturbing moment in the history books for UCI.. |
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:27:15 GMT -6
Petrov 2.0 vs Mystery Opponent
Gravedigger: Up next is Petrov 2.0 against a mystery opponent and I know exactly who Petrov is facing tonight.
Jimmy Garcia: And who would that be?
Gravedigger: Why it's you Jimmy!
Jimmy Garcia: It is not! I would never step in the ring.
Gravedigger: Sure you are Jimmy. Because I signed you up for this match!
Sebastian Reid: Leave Jimmy alone we all know he's too much of a wuss to wrestle.
Jimmy Garcia: Thank you Sebastion.
Sebastian Reid: I didn't mean that as a compliment but whatever we'll go with it. I have heard a rumor about who the opponent really is though. I heard that Bad News Brawler might be making his return. Apparently he has issues with Petrov 2.0's poor performance back when they were tag team partners.
Gravedigger: That would be one hell of a brawl.
Petrov's voice can be heard over the PA saying in a calm but intimidating voice "Total. Fucking. Badass." as Blind by Korn starts to play. The crowd begins to talk amongst themselves in anticipation as the intro plays out before the words "ARE YOU READY!?" are shouted and the song drops in as Petrov emerges from the curtain and leans back and let's out a deep voiced shout and walks to the ring with a serious look on his face. He runs up the steps and climbs between the ropes as he paces about while shadowboxing and waiting for his opponent. Petrrov grabs the mic away from ring announcer Taylor Lorde and shouts to the crowd.
Petrov 2.0: Some pussyfuck actually challenged Petrov 2.0? Is this open challenge. Well Petrov 2.0 he open up your skull and scoop out your brains! Do you know that Petrov is total fucking badass?
The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived by Weezer begins to play and the crowd boos like mad when they notice “Evil” Paul Rudd walk towards the ring, holding a doctor's bag in one hand and a mic in the other. He talks to the crowd on his way to the ring.
“Evil” Paul Rudd: Did you miss me?
Cue the boos.
“Evil” Paul Rudd: Oh c'mon.. you can do better then that!
Cue the louder boos.
“Evil” Paul Rudd: Do I really deserve all this hate? I mean it's not like I murdered one of your beloved world champions or something.. alledgedly.
Cue far louder boos. Paul Rudd laughs and takes a bow. The crowd continues to boo, except for Gravedigger who stands up behind the broadcast booth and claps for Rudd.
“Evil” Paul Rudd: In April.. at Beyond I promised you all a new superstar that I would take to the top. But then.. you got exactly what you all deserved.. nothing! But why did I lie? Because I realized something. I'm way too talented, way too good to lead someone else to championships. Why would other people benefit from my scheming, my intellgence, my self given abilities. So at Beyond, I let my charge's career get ended. While I laughed the whole time. Now here I am.. the King of Cannes, the one true superstar, the legend of Hollywood, the only good thing to ever come out of New Jersey. I am here to take all the glory.. for myself.. like a true icon does!
Jimmy Garcia: Is he joking? Paul Rudd is going to die at the hands of Petrov.
Gravedigger: Don't underestimate him Jimmy.
Paul Rudd takes off his expensive looking coat as he enters the ring.
Gravedigger: You see that? In the month and a half since he's been gone it appears “Evil” Paul Rudd has put on 50 pounds of muscle.
Sebastian Reid: While that is impressive I feel the need to point out that only puts him at around 210 pounds so he's still severely undersized.
“Evil” Paul Rudd: Now before this match starts.. I have one more challenge for you Petrov. I want tpo make this is a no disqualification bout.
Petrov 2.0: Fuck you no disqualification buddy.
“Evil” Paul Rudd: The great Petrov is refusing my challenge?
Petrov 2.0: Do you not speak English? Petrov didn't refuse your challenge. Petrov say fuck you buddy because fuck you buddy. You want no disqualification with the total fucking badass? Fuck You buddy because you are fucked.
“Evil” Paul Rudd: I still have no idea what you're saying. Did you accept my challenge or not?
Sebastian Reid: Petrov grabs Rudd by the throat and throws him right into the corner! There's the opening bell, this one is underway. I think Paul's attempt to play mind games may have backfired. Why did he want Petrov in a no dq match anyways?
Jimmy Garcia: Act of desperation?
Gravedigger: Or maybe Paul has a new client waiting in the wings. Ever think of that? Brutal clothesline by Petrov in the corner. Paul staggers towards the middle and eats a big boot and knocks him right over the top rope to the arena floor. Petrov going out after him.. but wait a second.. that referee just grabbed Petrov. He's chewing him out for some reason. That guy is maybe 120 pounds and looks like he lives in his parent's basement.
Petrov: FUCK YOU BUDDY!
Sebastion Reid: Petrov 2.0 taking advantage of the no disqualification stipulation by booting the referee in the gut. I don't know this guy's name but I don't think it's going to matter since Petrov just snapped his neck with a violent Fuck You! That Styles Clash powerbomb just ended this guy's night.
Jimmy Garcia: Wait a second.. Paul Rudd has snuck up onto the ring apron with that doctor's bag. He's doing something with that ring post. He shouts at Petrov who comes over having just destroyed that official.. and he sticks to the ring post. Oh my god.. he had a giant magnet in that bag! Petrov's head is stuck to the magnet!
Gravedigger: I told you we were going to see something brillant tonight! Petrov's metal replacement head is stuck to that giant magnet!
Jimmy Garcia: What kind of villian uses a magnet on their opponent?
Gravedigger: Magnets how the fuck do they work? Ask Petrov after this match ha ha! And would you look at “Evil” Paul Rudd taunting him.
Sebastion Reid: That's not all he's going to do. He's got himself a steel chair. Petrov can't free himself. And he's taking chair shot after chair shot to the back and spine.
Gravedigger: Notice how he isn't targeting the metallic head? I'm telling you guys.. this guy knows what he's doing.
Jimmy Garcia: Yeah but does he have any actual wrestling ability? It looks like he's just wearing him out with a steel chair!
Gravedigger: That's all he needs to do isn't it? He must have hit Petrov a good 20 times with that chair. Look how damaged it is now.
Sebastion Reid: He tosses the chair down and wow! That was impressive.. he just hit a backstabber on Petrov right into a rear naked choke. Where did he learn that?
Jimmy Garcia: I think I may have undestimated Rudd.
Gravedigger: Damn right you did. A second referee in now, he calls for the bell... Petrov is out cold.
Taylor Lorde: Your winner of this match, “Evil” Paul Rudd!
“Evil” Paul Rudd releases the hold and raises his hands to the boos from the crowd.
“Evil” Paul Rudd: Fuck the good guys.. Evil always wins.
Paul kicks Petrov in the ribs once then walks over top of him on his way to the back as the Greatest Man Who Ever Lived plays again.
Jimmy Garcia: I.. totally didn't expect that.
Gravedigger: Alex Richards underestimated Paul Rudd. Petrov underestimated Paul Rudd. Look what happened to them. “Evil” Paul Rudd is more of a threat then people realize.
Sebastian Reid: You may have a point there Gravedigger.
Gravedigger: Of course I do. I always do. |
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:30:07 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:31:53 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:33:40 GMT -6
Kuno Kenji vs Captain Zero
Captain Zero stands in the ring awaiting his opponent.
Taylor Lorde: This next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first… CAPTAIN ZERO!
He raises his hands in the air and the crowd is indifferent. Suddenly ‘MROW!’ is heard over the loudspeakers as the lights go down. A spotlight turns on the stage and Kuno Kenji appears with a harem of beautiful people dressed like the Broadway Rendition of cats around him. He strokes each cat as he makes his way down to the ring.
Gravedigger: The newest member of the Brotherhood making his way to the ring tonight surrounded by none other than cats.
Taylor Lorde: And his opponent… KUNO KENJI!
He makes his way to the ring and the lights turn back on. The cats exit the stage leaving Kuno alone with Captain Zero.
The bell rings and the match begins.
The two lock up and Kuno hooks on a headlock. He licks his hand and wipes it on his head before tossing Zero into the ropes and delivering a clothesline knocking him hard on his ass. Kuno poses for the crowd as the crowd boos.
Suddenly he’s distracted as he looks towards the entrance ramp where a single hairless cat walks down the ramp. He gets on a knee and calls for the kitty to come to him and it doe as she leaps onto the ring and does some figure eights around his legs. He picks up the cat and gets to his feet.
Suddenly the cat attacks, latching onto his face and as he pulls the creature off 8 scratch marks are left on his previously flawless face. He growls at the cat who arches it’s back and hisses back.
Suddenly from behind Cordelia Malice comes running through the crowd and attacks Kuno from behind to the raucous applause of the crowd.
Jimmy Garcia: Folks, we haven’t seen Cordelia Malice since Kuno injured her the night after Beyond during a 10 man tag with the Brotherhood. And she’s pissed that she missed this time.
Gravedigger: She’s got his arm locks in a kimura… And she’s wrenching like crazy. Kuno is tapping but this isn’t a match.
Kuno is screaming in pain as the cat comes over and claws at his face adding insult to injury.
Suddenly a loud *CRACK* is heard and then silence as Cordelia looks at the flopping arm in her hands. Kuno passes out from pain and Cordelia shows remorse at the actions she had just done.
Jimmy Garcia: I think this was too far for even her.
Gravedigger: The medics are in there and fortunately Malice has stepped away. She’s actually leaving through the crowd.
She grabs Misty, her cat, and exits through the crowd. Meanwhile in the ring Captain Zero asks if he won and the referee tells him no. Zero shrugs it off and walks off while the medics attend to Kuno Kenji. |
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:38:04 GMT -6
Tag Team Match Super Stache Brothers vs El Payaso Loco/TBD
“We’re the Mounters” as sung by Biff Mustache plays as the team of Biff and Buff Mustache walk down the ramp wearing red Canadian Mountie uniforms, wearing the big black hat and holding big black dildos in their hands.
Sebastian Reid: These losers can’t keep their heads out of their ass long enough to win a match. We saw what happened at the BONO tournament when they finally had to compete. Buff got destroyed in the finals of that tournament.
Gravedigger: You better watch your mouth or you’ll be getting the balls end of that shock dick!
The Super Stache Brothers make their way into the ring and pose for the crowd before bringing the dildos to their mouths and using them as microphones. Amazingly, it works.
Buff: Hey guys, It’s Buff, and I’ve got the stuff!
Biff: Hey guys, It’s biff, and boy and I stiff!
Buff: You all have been with us through the Stereo Old scandal, through our triumphant rise to the top of the Cock Cup Battle Royal and the BONER Tournament. And now you all have the pleasure to be with us in the beginning of the Super Stache Brother Trek To The Top Of The UCI Tag Team Division!
Biff: Or the SSBTTTTOTUCITTD for short.
Buff: But we never do anything for short, if you know what I mean.
Biff: He’s talking about sex!
Buff: Oh Yea! High One!
They bump crotches together.
Biff: And it all starts as we step into the ring with El Payasshole Roto and Teeny Bitty Dick tonight here at Lazarus.
Buff: Lazarus was the prophet that rose from the dead… well we’re always rising to the occasion if you know what I mean.
Biff: He means our Penises!
Buff: OH YEA! HIGH ONE!
The bump crotches again.
Buff: and this week we’ll rise to the occasion as we pound Payasshole raw and walk out the number one contenders to the UCI Tag Team Championship Belts.
Sebastian Reid: I didn’t know that the number one contender spot was on the line for this match.
Jimmy Garcia: It’s not. And they don’t just get to insert themselves into talks when they’ve only wrestled one tag team match here.
Biff: That’s right, so whoever won that match earlier for the tag team belts will have to sleep with one eye open because you never know when we’re going to roll you up.
Sebastian Reid: They don’t even know who won the Heaven and Hell match earlier. How do they expect to be champions with that attitude.
Buff: It doesn’t matter if it’s the team of Scott Balls and Kevin Snatch of the Back Siders or Pound and Smash of Penetration, whoever wins that match earlier tonight will have to deal with the Super Stache Brothers!
Sebastian Reid: THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO’S IN THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH! WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK ARE THESE GUYS TALKING ABOUT!?!?
Biff: But that’s next week. This week we’re gonna shove Teeny Bitty Dick into Payasshole Roto and toss em both out of the ring and win this battle royal!
Sebastian Reid drops his headset and walks off.
Jimmy Garcia: Well Sebastian has taken a quick break, likely for the reminder of this contest, but rest assured, fans, that nothing that the Super Stache Brothers said here tonight holds even an iota of merit. Don’t worry, our tag team division is still intact. And in fact, here comes a man who is gonna make sure that these two men get put in their place.
Payaso Loco walks down the ramp as the opening riff of ‘Lets Go’ hits throughout the PA system. He cuts the music quickly as he addresses the crowd and the Stache Brothers.
Payaso Loco: Yo eses, this shit is crazy. You guys don’t even know what I’m about or where I’m from, now do you. But you will after tonight, and as for my partner, TO BE DETERMINADO… well… this is a woman who will isn’t adverse to breaking a few skulls, gringos.
“I miss the Misery” by Halestorm plays.
Jimmy Garcia: It’s Cordelia Malice! She just returned last match to take out Kuno and somehow got her way on the card too. This woman is a tough bitch.
Malice and Payaso High Five each other as they rush to the ring. They slide under the bottom rope and chase the Stache Brothers out of the ring as they hide in fear. They lean over the rope and yell at the Stache Brothers as the music begins to fade.
The referee pushes Loco and Malice back as the Stache brothers reluctantly get back in the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Rarely do social media antics work their way out into physicality but this is professional wrestling. The Stache Brothers were ranting on and on about inappropriate and unnecessary topics and Payaso Loco stood up for the women being insulted. This obviously turned into a big shit show and here we are tonight in a PPV match pitting the arguing parties against each other in combat.
Gravedigger: If only all internet trolls could get their asses handed to them like Payaso is going to tonight.
Jimmy Garcia: Well time will tell. I have a feeling that the Super Stache Brothers are going to eat those words.
The Stache Brothers play Butt, Penis, Vagina to figure out who will go first. It’s a version of Rock paper scissors where Butt scares penis, penis enters vagina, and vagina pees on butt. As usual Buff chooses butt and biff chooses penis and gets to start the match.
Meanwhile on the other side of the ring Malice lets Payaso start the match.
Gravedigger: Here we go!
Before Malice gets out of the ring she delivers a superkick to the back of Payaso’s head knocking him out cold. She slides out the bottom rope as the fans begin to boo her for her actions.
Jimmy Garcia: What the hell just happened?
Gravedigger: I’ll tell you what happened. Malice is smart. She realized that she was on the losing team and cut her losses. If she’s not ringside when the bell rings she won’t officially be part of the losing team.
Jimmy Garcia: I’m not sure that’s how it works, but it seems that this team is losing now.
The bell rings and the match begins.
Buff shouts from ringside
Buff: RAPE HIM…RAPE HIM!
Biff: YOU MEAN PIN HIM!
Buff: WHATEVER!
Biff drops down and hooks the leg and the ref drops for the pin. With each drop of the referee’s hand Biff repeatedly punches Payaso in the balls.
1…2…3!!!
Biff rolls on the mat on his back acting as though he just fought a tremendous battle. Buff dives into the ring and lands on top of his brother, hugging him in an oily embrace.
Gravedigger: WHAT A MATCH!
Jimmy Garcia: Ugh… I’m glad Sebastian missed this one.
Sebastian Reid: I didn’t miss it… I came back just in time. You know what… maybe one day I’ll get back into the ring and put these mother fuckers in their place.
Gravedigger: Well that will have to wait till next time because right now there’s 2 tickets to Mustache Manor for the greatest mustache rides of your lives, people! CHOOO CHOOO! |
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:38:41 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:42:37 GMT -6
UCI Rising Stars Championship Triple Threat Match Psychopomp © vs Udy vs Calvin Harris
Taylor Lorde: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the UCI Rising Stars championship!
Blue Pyro and smoke in stage area as the arena goes dark. A howl followed by demonic chants. Udy enters and kneels on right knee and howls as another set of pyro goes off and Homage to Satan plays. He slowly walks to the ring accompanied by Fenris. After entering the ring, he walks to the center and again gets to his knee and howls at the sky as a the spotlight shines on him like a moon. Fenris stands behind arms wide open. The light comes back.
Jimmy Garcia: Big debut match here, Udy is in UCI!
Gravedigger: Who?
Jimmy Garcia: Udy!
Gravedigger: Who?
Jimmy Garcia: You’re no fun.
Inside the arena the fans were sitting on the edge of their seats waiting in anticipation for the next bit of action to take place. With that being said Fall Out Boy's "Memories" began to hit the arena's speakers. The guitar riff kicking it all off and it was something the thousands in attendance were able to recognize from the start. Didn't take long at all for those fans to begin to change their tune. They went from being excited for action to completely and utterly loathing the show. All because of who was about to make their to the ring.
Only a few seconds had passed since the song began to play. That's when the curtain could be seen being slowly pulled back. Stepping out a moment later happened to be none other than the man known as the Martyr of Pro Wrestling himself, Calvin Harris. Seeing the man caused the crowd to uproar again, but this time with louder boos and jeers. All of them hoping that this was going to be enough to get him to go away. However they should've known better than that. Standing center of the stage, Calvin looked around the ring with this smug smirk on his lips. The type of smug smirk that would make people want to knock it right off his expression.
That being said Calvin found himself stretching his arms out to either side of him. Almost like he was encouraging the crowd to give him more hate. For this was something that actually motivated him and something that actually drove him. Like puppets the fans gave in booing even louder and vocally expressing their hatred for him anyway that they could. After a few moments he lowered his arms back down at his side and began to slowly make his way down the ramp.
Hearing that announcement put the crowd on edge. It was like they were hearing nails running down a chalkboard. Not a pleasant situation at all. Again they were vocal getting louder with their boos. At this point they were so loud it was hard for people to even hear themselves think. Let alone begin to form an actual thought that made any sense. By this time that he had been introduced to the crowd. Calvin was halfway down the ramp, seemingly taking his time. That smirk of his remained on his expression as he let out a couple of chuckles at those fans he deemed pathetic. Though, he had finally made it to the end of the ramp.
Calvin took a couple of steps towards the ring and reached up with his right hand grabbing the middle rope. He proceeded to pull himself up onto the apron and onto his knees. He pushed himself right up to his feet and in a pretty swift motion. He lifted one leg over the middle rope, ducked down under the top, and found himself right in the ring. That's when Calvin took it upon himself to take the nearest turnbuckle. He climbed it right up to the second rung and looked out at the booing crowd. Not a single one of them were backing down from how they felt about him. Something that was just making him happier and happier with each boo he heard.
All of the sudden he brought his hands up and out to each side of him while tilting his head back a bit. It was almost like he was in a position where he was forcing the crowd to "bask" in all his glory or as if he was wanting them to "praise" him. Something that wasn't going to happen. Not even on his best day. That taunt remained for only a couple of seconds. At least until the theme song found itself fading out. At that point Calvin turned himself around leaping down from the turnbuckle and found himself bouncing around on his two feet waiting for the next bit of action to take place.
Sebastian Reid: This is the guy, Spencer Adams big new acquisition for UCI! Solid debut against Defenestration Jones on Overload and he looks to win his first title in just his second match in UCI!
Gravedigger: The hype is real, even if it’s come from the mouth of Calvin Harris himself.
Jimmy Garcia: Both him and Udy are big time challengers for Psychopomp’s throne!
Sebastian Reid: Here comes the champ now!
The lights goes out and Babylon by The Tea Party starts playing from the speakers. Different colored light beams goes off to the rhythm of the song and Psychopomp jumps in the middle of the entrance. The lights turns back on and while he walks down the aisle, he high fives only the fans that are wearing a Brotherhood t-shirt like he is and ignores the others. He rolls inside the ring and gets on his knees to raise his arms in victory.
Gravedigger: THIS is an alpha championship match right here!
Jimmy Garcia: Last year, Lazarus was the first ever PPV and we saw this belt fought for between Chase Jackson and Erin Fausse! Tonight, we see another great Rising Stars title match at Lazarus!
DING DING DING!!
Sebastian Reid: Harris rolling out of the ring immediately, looking to stand back and analyze a bit in the early going perhaps.
Gravedigger: Pomp turning towards Harris, big mistake!
Jimmy Garcia: Udy out of nowhere with a shot to the back of the head!
As Pomp is dropped, Harris claps slowly on the outside at Udy who seems irritated as he walks towards the ropes near him.
Sebastian Reid: Udy leaning over the ropes, taunting for Harris to bring it.
Gravedigger: Harris catches him off guard, Udy pulled face first into that top rope.
Harris jumps up on the apron as Udy takes a swing, but Harris is able to duck it as he drives a shoulder into Udy’s midsection.
Jimmy Garcia: Harris flips over him now, rolling through for the pin!
1!
KICKOUT!
Harris rolls back through to his knees as Pomp recovers and fires away at the challenger.
Sebastian Reid: Kick to the head from Pomp!
Gravedigger: Cover by the champ now!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Jimmy Garcia: That could’ve been it right there, Pomp catching Harris off guard!
Sebastian Reid: Udy up now, pulling Pomp to his feet.
Udy pulls Pomp in, trying to set up the DDT, but the champion is able to push out as he grabs hold of his challenger’s arm and brings him in.
Gravedigger: Short arm clothesline from Pomp there, cover by the champ again.
1!
KICKOUT!
Jimmy Garcia: Not quite, but this is just the nature of the matchup!
Sebastian Reid: Udy stomping away at both men now, trying to keep the advantage and stay as fresh as he can right now.
Udy rolls to the outside and reaches under the ring, quickly retrieving a chair which he brings back to the ring with him as he is met by Psychopomp.
Gravedigger: Chair shot by Udy, that one right to the ribs of Pomp!
Sebastian Reid: Udy smashing away with a couple more shots to the back!
Udy drops the chair, looking down at the fallen champ in disgust.
Jimmy Garcia: Harris up behind him!
Gravedigger: Harris spinning Udy around here, lifting him into position for the finish!
Sebastian Reid: ART OF BETRAYAL ON THE CHAIR! UDY IS OUT COLD!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!!
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match and newwwww UCI Rising Stars Champion, Calvin Harris!
Harris gets to his feet, snatching the belt from the ref’s hands as soon as he goes to hand it to him.
Jimmy Garcia: The element of surprise gets it done here tonight and as a result, The Martyr is the new Rising Stars champion! |
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:45:58 GMT -6
Karlie Nash vs Joe Smarts
Taylor Lorde: The following is scheduled for one fall!
War Machine by AC/DC plays in the arena, Tracy steps on the stage and moves to the side, Karlie steps on the stage, Tracy and Karlie walks to the ring showing disdain for the crowd, Tracy walks up the steps and enters the ring, Karlie climbs the ropes from outside and flashes the loser sign to the crowd, she then climbs down and stretches in her corner.
Jimmy Garcia: Big win last week in that four way and Karlie Nash finds herself with a nice bit of momentum now against Joe Smarts!
Gravedigger: He’s Joe Smarts, you don’t need much against the guy.
Sebastian Reid: The man just might surprise you, Digger.
The opening beats of 'Catgroove' plays throughout the arena as the crowd goes silent. As the music continues, a faint voice echoes around the arena. The only words that are understandable are
'Dams it, the mic is toos quiet.'
Then a deafening voice can be heard over the arena saying
'HERE COME... OH FUCKS, IT TOOS LOUD!!!'
Finally, as the final part of the opening beats of Catgroove plays, a reasonably loud microphone can be heard throughout the arena.
'Here come the World Smartsest Man, Captain Bruddahhood, JOE SMAAAAAARTS!!!!
Then the crowd realises that Joe fiddled with the mic volume, and they cheer out loud when he struts out on stage, doing a Scotty 2 Hotty dance down, I suppose, as the main part of Catgroove plays.
Joe climbs up the steps, and falls over the ropes into the ring. He then taps his head, as he fails to try and display his 'intelligence'.
Gravedigger: As I said, it doesn’t take much.
Jimmy Garcia: Say what you will, but we have an excellent pairing here in this one on one contest!
DING DING DING!!
Smarts takes an old timey fighting stance as Nash looks on in disgust. Karlie steps forward and Smarts playfully smacks at her face which Nash bats away before smashing into him.
Sebastian Reid: Shoulder block from Nash there.
Gravedigger: What a moron this guy is!
Smarts spins around and right back to his feet, forming a Karate Kid pose and prepping for a big kick under the jaw of Nash.
Jimmy Garcia: Nash ducking under it!
Sebastian Reid: She hooks the leg and hits a big belly to belly!
Gravedigger: Pinfall attempt here.
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Jimmy Garcia: Smarts barely getting the shoulder up!
Gravedigger: He’s not a durable one, is he?
Nash pushes to a knee, locking her arm under Smarts chin and cranking down.
Sebastian Reid: Smarts pushing up though, nice elbow to the midsection to break the hold there.
Karlie doubles over a bit as Smarts shakes off the cobwebs and bounds off the ropes with a leaping clothesline.
Jimmy Garcia: Smarts firing right back at Nash, nice offense on the run there!
Smarts runs off the ropes again, but is met with a big back body drop from Nash.
Gravedigger: Elbow drop from Nash here and a cover.
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Nash pounds the mat a bit before leaping back up and taking Smarts to the corner and hitting him with a big elbow smash to the head.
Sebastian Reid: Counter strike from Smarts, throwing Nash around into his corner now as he mounts for some punches!
Joe Smarts (with the crowd): 1! 7! 239! Derf!
Gravedigger: Why are they encouraging the stupidity like this? Makes me sick.
Smarts is shoved back by Karlie Nash, but heads right back in for a clothesline.
Jimmy Garcia: Spinning back fist from Karlie Nash on the counter!
Sebastian Reid: Smarts drops like a ton of bricks with that one being right on the money, Nash sets him up for the crossface! Can she get it?
Gravedigger: Nash-ural Selection! It’s locked in!
Jimmy Garcia: Smarts looking for the ropes, but he’s stuck in the middle here!
Sebastian Reid: Smarts not tapping, Nash cranking back even harder here!
Gravedigger: He’s done for!
DING DING DING!!
Jimmy Garcia: Nash makes him pass out!
Taylor Lorde: Here is your winner, Karlie Nash!
Nash pushes to her feet, quick to make the ref raise her hand.
Sebastian Reid: Absolutely dominant in that finish as Karlie Nash makes Joe Smarts pass out! |
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:46:31 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:54:41 GMT -6
UCI Television Championship Damian Kaine © vs Zombie McMorris
Jimmy Garcia: Guys, we’re coming towards the end of the night and the world championship title match. Right now we are getting ready for the Television championship match. Its Damian Kaine taking on Zombie McMorris. Damian Kaine will be defending his championship against ZMAC because Zombie McMorris won the Battle of New Orleans Tournament. ZMACs prize for wining was a title shot of his choosing and he chose the TV Championship because in his words he wants to be ‘the ultimate media champion.’
Sebastian Reid: I don’t like it. It’s not fair to Damian Kaine. He is a hard working champion and he does not deserve to put his championship on the line with such short notice.
Wavedigger: Zombie McMorris won the Battle of New Orleans. He won fair and square. Damian Kaine knew when he entered that tournament that his title could have been on the line. If he didn’t want to defend, then he should have won. But he lost. He lost out to ZMAC then and he’ll lose now.
Jimmy: Well, lets go ringside with Taylor Lorde as we get this match started.
Taylor Lorde: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is for the UCI Television Championship!
"Killed By Death" hits the PA system as the arena begins to fill with smoke. The Guitar and drums kick in and play up as the crowd search for ZMAC. Them vocals smash the speakers as the spot light is shows ZMAC whose stand out in the middle section of the area.
Fans: If you squeeze me lizard, I’ll put my snake in you. I’m a romantic adventure and a reptile too.
He stands there with his back turned to the ring with his arms out in a ‘T’ pose. He turns to face the crowd as he takes a few steps down the aisle way.
Fans: Easy! Easy!
He pumps the crowd up as they go rabid for the Coked UP Mad Man who reaches into his pulls out a vial of cocaine and snorts it.
Fans: The only time I’m gone be easy is when I’m.. KILED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH!
Taylor Lorde: Making his way to the ring.. from the Big Easy.. He stands six feet, six inches tall and weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds… He is the Coked Up Mad Man.. ZZZOOMMMBIE… MCMORRR-IISSS!
Fans: I’m a lone wolf ligger but I ain’t no pretty boy!
Fans swarm him as he takes beer after beer and chugs them; getting some all over his face and chest. ZMAC is in a sea of “Dove Killah Certified OG’s” as the fans lift him up and body surf him down to the crowd barrier.
Fans: KILLED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH!
He jumps the barrier and slides into the ring. ZMAC takes to the adjacent turnbuckle and taunts the crowd before taking off his jacket and throwing it to the towards the time keeper. The Honey Badger has arrived.
Taylor Lorde: And introducing the champion..From Savannah Georgia.. He weighs in tonight at one hundred and fifty-seven pounds..He is the current UCI Television Champion… DAMIAN KAINE!
The guitar riffs of “Caffeine” by Jeff and Casey Lee Williams brings the crowd to their feets. As the song moves along, Damian Kaine runs to the stage, hopping around before dashing down the ramp and sliding under the bottom rope.
Taylor Lorde: Making his way to the ring, from Savannah, Georgia! Weighing in at 157 pounds. Representing the Brotherhood! He is “The Prodigy of Pestilence,” Damian Kaine!
Kaine hops to his feet, and immediately climbs the corner, backflipping off of the top rope. He then removes his vest and settles in his corner, waiting for the match to begin.
Jimmy: Guys, this is going to be a great match!
Reid: Damian Kaine is finally going to take ZMAC down a peg. DK won that title from the Golden Ticket Match. He knows how to get things done. ZMACs just a passing fad of memes and internet stupidity.
Wavedigger: Look at ZMAC, stretching in the corner. He’s ready to go.
Reid: And so isn’t Damian Kaine.
DING DING
The two men lock up in the middle of the ring and push back and forth for position but it’s ZMAC who wins out with a knee to the gut and a go behind but DK is quick to spin out of it with a waist hold. ZMAC tries to elbow him but DK ducks the shots. ZMAC backs them up into the ropes and grans ahold of DKs hair. He shoots DK off the ropes and tries for a back body drop but DK flips over him but as he turns around he eats a big boot.
Wavedigger: Look at that, he caught DK right in the mouth. He’s on queer street and liking it right now. DK has a fist full of three dollah bills and he’s making it rain men.
Reid: What does that eve mean?
Wavedigger: It means DK just got knocked the frig out.
ZMAC pulls DK to his feet and whips him off the ropes the ropes again.
Wavedigger: Psycho-crusher! That modified spinning back elbow but the coked up Mad Man.
Reid: But DK gets to his feet. And ZMACs just looking at him.
ZMAC: Alright then, get it up, son!
ZMAC kicks DK in the gut and sets him up for a sling shot suplex but DK floats over and rolls ZMAC up with a school boy.
The pin.
1..
2..
NOO!!!
Jimmy: ZMAC kicks out.
Reid: That’s how smart DK is. He countered that terrible suplex into a school boy and almost had ZMAC for the three.
DK gets to his feet and kicks ZMAC down with a front drop kick. ZMAC goes to get to his feet but DK stays on him with a clothesline and ZMAC stumbles back into a seated position against the lower turn turnbuckle pad. DK charges now and leaps up into the air and comes down hard with a double stomp to the face.
Reid: Look at DK. Look at him. He just hit a modified Silver Bullet on ZMAC. That’s how good this man is.
Crowd: Lets go! DK! LETS GO! DK!
DK is starting to feel it. He’s getting charged up! He signals towards the adjacent turnbuckle!
Jimmy: Whats DK doing? Whats he thinking?
Reid: I’ll tell you what he’s thinking, he thinking of doing a little coast to coast action. I think he’s going for the older brother of the van dominator, the van terminator.
Wavedigger: He’s taking his sweet ol’ time doing it.
Reid: Digger, the VT is a move of precision. It requires distance, height, velocity, wind speed. He needs to know if Mercury is in retrograde.
Jimmy: DK leaps..
NOOO!!!!
Wavedigger: And ZMAC spears DK out of his Guardian fan boy socks!
ZMAC takes DK by the week and airplane spins him.. once.. twice… and lets go!
Jimmy: And DKs back just bounced off the ring post! Oh my God! Did you hear that impact? DK might have chipped bone in his back!
Reid: This is insane! How many people does ZMAC have to hurt! He might have ended DKs career.
Wavedigger: That’s what ol’ Z lives for. He lives to end careers. DK knows this. He was prepared for this. He knows that if he fights ZMAC, he might never wrestle ever again.
The ref exits the ring to check on DK and signals for the EMTs.
Reid: Guys, this match might be a draw.
The EMTs come out as ZMAC paces back and forth in the ring. They load DK onto the stretcher and as they start to wheel him up the ramp, DK struggles free and gets off the stretcher.
Reid: Damian Kaine, the true heart of a champion.
Wavedigger: With the head of an idiot.
Jimmy: Damian Kaine still wants to fight. He still wants to defend his championship!
ZMAC looks over and sees DK has gotten off the stretcher and is walking in pain towards the ring.
ZMAC: Oh, dats how you wana do? Ight son.
The EMTs crowd DK and try to get him back on the stretcher but he’s not having it.
WHAM!
Crowd: ZMAC! ZMAC!
Wavedigger: And ZMAC with a suicide dive through the ropes and he takes out everybody. Now hes just unloading on DK with left hands. The southpaw is going yard.
ZMAC picks DK up and whips him into the steel post. DKS back cracks against it as he falls to all fours.
ZMAC: BOOOT PPAARRRTTYYY!!
WHAM!
Jimmy: And ZMAC hits the punt kick!
ZMAC rolls DK back into the ring and goes for the pin.
1..
2..
3..
NOO!!
Reid: Damian Kaine kicks out just in time!
Jimmy: With his back hurt, I don’t know how smart that is.
ZMAC: What you got to prove, DK? What you got to prove? I already broke ya back. Now I’ll break everything else.
ZMAC tosses DK into the corner and unloads some stiff shots. DK takes some abuse before blocking on and hooking ZMAC up for a tornado ddt. Both men are down but DK puts the arm over ZMAC.
The pin.
1..
2..
NOO!!
Wavedigger: ZMAC kicks out. Its going to be hard to DK to get any strong offense with that hurt back.
Both men get to their feet as DK tries to work through the pain and gain momentum. He hits the ropes and comes back towards ZMAC..
WHAM!
Jimmy: Sidewalk Back Breaker! We haven’t seen that from ZMAC.
Wavedigger: He calls that Deep Dick Six.
The pin.
1..
2..
NOO!!!
Reid: Damian Kaine kicks out again!
ZMAC picks up DK and sets him up with a vertibreaker.
Wavedigger:FGT-KLR!
ZMAC with a cocky pin.
The pin.
1..
2..
NOO!!
Jimmy: Damian Kaine just keeps kicking out.
Damian Kaine gets to his knees.
Damian Kaine: LOL FGT!
Wavedigger: I think ZMAC broke DKs brain. DK is laughing at ZMAC.
Jimmy: Did you guys hear him? He just said “ lol fgt.” I think DK is enjoying this.
Reid: Mind games, Jimmy. Its mind games.
ZMAC scowls at Kaine as he just starts stomping out the TV Champion. ZMAC whips Kaine off the ropes and misses with a haymaker. Kaine comes back but gets hit with a falcon uppercut!
Wavedigger: Right out of his boots.
ZMAC picks Kaine up and throws him into the turnbuckle. He charges for clothesline and misses. ZMAC leaps up onto the turnbuckle , walks the ropes and leaps off as DK gets to his feet; ZMAC connects with a rope walk hurricanrana. He gets off DK but DK gets to his feet. He grabs ZMAC in a headlock.
Reid: SLICED BREAD NUMER TWO!
The pin!
1..
2…
3..
NOOO!!!
Wavedigger: ZMAC kicks out. The last, best thing DK has in his arsenal, ZMAC kicked out of like it was a pregnant woman.
ZMAC rolls out of the ring to collect himself.
Reid: ZMAC digging in his pockets, looking for cocaine. THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.
Wavedigger: You should be illegal.
Reid: That doesn’t even make any sense.
Wavedigger: Your face doesn’t even make any sense. Its all ugly and weird. Like Dr. Mofesto fucked a basketball that was out in the sun too long then got hit by a truck then set on fire then hit by another truck and rolled down an ugly hill and hit every ugly rock on the way down until you rolled down ugly street right to the front steps of an ugly convent where four ugly nuns took care of you till you were ugly enough to make it out on your own ugly own and then you got mauled by a bear who had ugly sticks duck taped to his paws and you got stitched back together by the worlds most ugly doctor and you looked like a hollow man recast- which was actually an improvement but then you took the bandages off too soon and it got infected but your stupid ugly face was too stupid and ugly to care so you got a job here at UCI where I got to look at your stupid ugly face and vomit every night because your face is just too stupid and ugly to even comprehend. Like I am even dumber now for having sat here with you just by sheer physical approximation. You make me sick and I hope you burn in ugly, stupid hell.
Jimmy: Digger saying what we’re all thinking.
Reid: fuck you Jimmy.
Jimmy: Hey Reid, I got my kids a basketball for Christmas that they don’t want; are you looking for a girlfriend?
Back at the plot, ZMAC hits a rail of coke as DK gets to his feet and springboards off the ropes with a crossbody to the outside. ZMAC catches him and hits a throw away suplex that causes DK to crash into the barrier. ZMAC slides in and out of the ring to break to break the count before going back for DK. ZMAC lays the boots to DK before focusing on the mat and pulls it up. ZMAC sets DK up for a tombstone..
Wavedigger: Corckscrew tombstone onto the exposed concrete!
Reid: No! DK breaks free and is able to slip under ZMAC! Powerbomb! DK just powerbomed ZMAC onto the concrete!
DK rolls back into the ring as the ref continues counting.
4..5..
DK rolls out of the ring. Forcing the ref to restart the count.
DK picks up ZMAC and sets him up against the ring post.
Reid: Superkick!
Wavedigger: If you had done it Reid, it would have been a stupid ugly superkick.
Reid: Shut your mouth, Digger!
1..2…
DK throws ZMAC against the barricade…
Jimmy: Another superkick!
DK tosses ZMAC on the announce table and heads back in the ring and up to the turnbuckle.
Reid: No, DK! Don’t do it. You can retain. You can retain.
Damian kaine: DEUCES BITCH!
WHAM!
CROWD: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Jimmy: Damian Kaine just sacrificed himself with an amazing 450 splash from the turnbuckle to our announce table!
Wavedigger: The ref signals for the EMTs again. Both men are out.
The EMTs hit the scene and tend to Damian Kaine since he’s on top of the pile. The load him up on the stretcher and start to wheel him away but ZMAC gets to his feet. He knows that if DK leaves, the match ends. ZMAC bumps a rail of coke and takes a bite of of that Popeyes two piece and mashed from a fan as he launches out for an attack. ZMAC leaps up onto the apron, then onto the turn buckle then leap of faith, coast to coast with an elbow drop from outside fucking space.
Wavedigger: YOU CANT CAGE THE FRIGGING MADDNESS!! OHH YAHH, DIG IT!
Everybody gets taken out. ZMAC like a coked up madman that he is, starts ripping the straps off DK. He starts pummeling DK to death.
ab-so-lute-fucking DEATH!
The ref starts counting like a fucking stupid idiot.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8..
ZMAC notices and throws DK back into the ring.
9…
ZMAC slides into the ring as DK gets to his knees. ZMAC hits the ropes and connects..
Wavedigger: DOVE KILLAH!
The pin..
1…
2…
3…
Wavedigger: ZMAC done it! He did it! ZMAC has captured the UCI TV Championship! The Honey Badger is a double champion!
Reid: I don’t believe it!
Wavedigger: Well you better. Like it or not, Zombie McMorris is now the Ultimate Media Champion.
Jimmy: Damian Kaine just sacrificed himself in one last effort to try and defeat the coked up mad man and it didn’t work. He did his absolute best and was so close.
The ref hands ZMAC the TV Championship as his music starts to play.
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match.. AND NEEWWWW UCI TV CHAMPION…. ZOMBIE… MCMORRISS!!!
The EMTs are able to get back into the ring and check on DK as ZMAC goes over and calls for a mic.
ZMAC: Hey yo. Damian, you fought a good fight. If’n you could fight a good fight but this right here, this is MY TV Championship. Like I fucking told you. Now be a broken little fuccboi and get the fuck out of my ring.
ZMAC throws the mic down, leaves the ring and jumps into the crowd where they celebrate and body surf him around the area with both the TV and Hypermedia championships on his shoulders. |
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 0:58:44 GMT -6
NegaSoniK vs Bolas de Arana
Jimmy Garcia: Well Folks, after a great TV Title match we’re moving on towards our last few matches of the night and this right here; its going to be NSK taking on Bolas De Arana.
Sebastian Reid: Bolas has been doing good things as of late but NSK is Brotherhood- lets see how he handles that.
Wavedigger: Tell you what I hate. If there's one thing that I hate, its Mexicans. If there's another thing that I hate, its spiders. If there's a third thing that I hate, its Mexican spiders. Taking the good jobs away from the American Spiders. I went to my garden the other day and there American Spiders with MAGA signs and hats and the Mexican spiders were just sleeping with little spider sombreros on. Little spider Tequila bottles were everywhere.
Jimmy Garcia: You hate Mexicans?
Wavedigger: Yes I do.
Jimmy: Even me?
Wavedigger: Especially you. Heres ten US dollars. Now slap yourself and use the change to buy yourself a mansion in Mexico City.
Reid: I’ll slap him for twenty.
Jimmy: And I’ll slap Reid for five.
Wavedigger: Deal. Do you see that Reid. Do you see how fast that dirty Mexican took your job from right out under your nose.
Reid: But you hired him over me.
Wavedigger: Workforce cost analysis and budgeting. I just cut my worker cost by twenty five percent.
Reid: But now I don’t have any money.
Wavedigger: Blame the Mexican; he’s the one that took your job.
Reid: HE TOOK MER JERB!
Wavedigger: See, Jimmy. Filthy Mexicans coming in, taking jobs away from hard working Americans like Reid; its disgusting. Now we got Mexican Spiders coming in and taking away roster spots from hard working American wrestlers.
Jimmy: Can we just go ring side to call this match? Why does it everything have to be political with you?
Wavedigger: This isn’t about politics; this is about hardworking Americans trying to feed their families.
Jimmy: I hate the both of you so much right now.
Taylor Lorde: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first… from Asbury Park, New Jersey… he weighs in at one hundred and sevety-five pounds… Bolas De Arana !!!!
"Smooth Criminal" starts and the crowd goes wild as the Worlds Favorite Jackass comes out to a roar. He raises his hands in the air, does a double fist pump and runs to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope. He practically slides to the middle, striking a sexy "I'm on a bear skin rug" pose, before bouncing up and climbing a turnbuckle to the roar of his fans. He walks to the ref, shakes his hand, sticks some Monopoly money in his hand and walks away, the mask winking at the crowd as he points out pretty women and happy children in the crowd and waves to them.
Taylor Lorde: And his Opponent…Representing the Brotherhood… He weighs in at one hundred and thirty-five pounds… NegaSonik !!
NegasoniK comes out very slowly swaying side to side to the beat, he slowly walks to the arena with a devious grin on his face, when he gets to the ring apron he slowly crawls up onto the apron,after sitting on his knees for 3 minutes examining the crowd he throws his head back laughing. Then he stands up and flips over the ropes running to the corner, climbing the turnbuckle, where he throws his hands up and then backflips from the turnbuckle.
DING DING
NSK and Arana square off and lock up in an impressive teeting back and forth, test of strength and it is NSK who trips Arana and flips over him with a snapmare. NSK gets to his feet and taunts the crowd as he goes to pick up Arena. NSK whips Arana off the ropes and Arana comes back with a hand spring sommersault over NSK only to spring board off the middle rope and connect with a twisting crossbody.
quick pin.
1..
2..
kickout!
Wavedigger: Mexican Jumping spider. Should be illegal. SHOW ME A HEADLOCK! OR AN ARM BAR!
Arana takes to the ropes again as NSK gets up..
Jimmy: Running head scissors by Arana.
Arana comes at NSK again but NSK low bridges the ropes and Arana goes over top but catches himself. NSK crawls away to make some space but when he gets up and turns around he eats a springboard forearm.
Reid: Arana is on fire right now!
NSK tries to get to his feet but Arana is right there…
Jimmy: MILF DRIVER!
The pin..
1..
2…
3 !!!!
Jimmy: He did it! Arana just beat NSK!
Reid: I think the speed was just too much for NSK. As fast as he is, he didn’t have a chance to get his footing. He couldn’t even get going.
Wavedigger: This is terrible. Where is ICE when you need it. Or some wasp spray. Hell, I’ll get right in that ring and beat him to death with my shoe if I have too.
Arana doesn’t even wait for the announcement, he is so excited he just books it out of the ring and does a victory lap Before leaping into the crowd and celebrating with the fans! |
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 1:00:37 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jun 7, 2017 1:10:00 GMT -6
Co-Main Event UCI Intercontinental Championship 2 Out of 3 Falls Triple Threat Match Andre Holmes © vs Casey Holliday vs Erin Fausse
The Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Missouri has been sold out the second anniversary of UCI Presents: Lazarus. The fallout from Beyond has been great with championship matches, huge rivalries and great competitive action coming to it’s final destination. Now we’ve reached the co-main event of our PPV which shall be explained as the camera turns over to Jimmy Garcia, Sebastian Reid and Gravedigger sat behind the announce table.
Jimmy Garcia: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to UCI Presents: Lazarus. We have now reached the co-main event of our PPV. Andre Holmes will defend his UCI Intercontinental Championship in a Two Out of Three Falls Triple Threat Match against Casey Holliday and Erin Fausse. Talk about a first time defense for the inaugural UCI Triple Crown Champion.
Sebastian Reid: I’ll say. It’s the rehashing of Erin Fausse vs Andre Holmes with Casey Holliday as the wildcard. You have such incredible athletes but Andre won’t go down without a fight. If he keeps his distance and manages to put them both down, he’ll be able to walk out of the match still the champion.
Gravedigger: Yeah right?! How many times has Andre lost to a woman- better yet, how many times has a woman taken Andre’s belt? He can’t handle against women hence why he spends every day beating the crap out of them! Erin Fausse and Casey Holliday should take it upon themselves to ensure he never lays a finger on them again! The UCI Intercontinental Championship should never be around his waist!
Sebastian Reid: I never knew you were a guy for womens’ rights. I thought you said all women should be in your bedroom sucking you-
Gravedigger: What?! I never said such things! It’s 2017! Equality man!
Jimmy Garcia: Well whether Gravedigger is apart of the exploding Womens Revolution, we can’t waste anymore time now. Here we are with the UCI Intercontinental Championship on the line in the co-main event of UCI Presents: Lazarus. Let’s take it over to Taylor Lorde inside the ring.
The camera angles shifts over to Taylor Lorde standing in the center of the ring wearing her signature blue dress along with her black high heels. She nods her after receiving the cue from production to begin with the match introductions.
Ding Ding Ding!
Taylor Lorde: Ladies and Gentlemen! This match is a Two out of Three Falls Triple Threat Match! The first competitor to score two falls in the match will become the winner and it is for the UCI Intercontinental Championship!
The introductory percussion segments strikes all lights to dim around the audience. Once darkness completely falls, “Far From The Road” by The Handsome Family begins playing with that sinister acoustic guitar riff playing. Erin Fausse emerges from behind the curtains to center stage, receiving the tremendous amount of boos and negative reactions due to the raucous Missouri audience.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
On her strut down to the ring, she has a poised and tuned smile on her face due to her distaste for the fans. She even keeps her distance from the fans behind the barricades stretching their hands attempting to touch her. Erin walks down the entrance path waving her hands around her waist, mouthing off to the camera telling the world the UCI Intercontinental Championship is hers!
Taylor Lorde: Introducing the first participant! Hailing from Oskaloosa, Iowa! At five feet, six inches tall, weighing in at 135 pounds. She is Erin Fausse!
Wearing a white tank top, white wrestling tights, black boots. Erin stops before the apron facing the stage and looks around the audience who paid to boo her. She waves off the fans at ringside, climbs up the steel steps then walks alongside the ropes to the turnbuckles outside the ropes. Erin slowly climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and forms her right hand into a gun before pretending to shoot at the kids at ringside.
Gravedigger: You remember when Erin became the first ever UCI Rising Stars Champion and became the living fall of Andre Holmes? That was one of my favourite moments in UCI. You know what’s one of my worst? When that jackass Thrust Kicked my baby girl with a mouth full of thumbtacks, revenge is sweet! My baby girl Erin is gonna return the favor times ten!
Erin climbs down the turnbuckles then moves through the ropes to the interior of the ring. She bounces from rope to the other; Preparing her body for another championship match. Once her music fades away, she stands in her corner ignoring the crowd and continues to trigger them by mocking them. Erin is very confident she will become the next UCI Intercontinental Champion.
Jimmy Garcia: The former UCI Rising Stars and Television Champion. Erin Fausse is one of the few UCI originals to still remain in the company and has laid out a great foundation for future generations. Her story with the champion has been seen as one of the top feuds in history and their match at #Beachmania was legendary. Erin wants to end the tiebreaker by beating the man who was responsible for her previous lisp.
The chorus of “Fashion” by Lady Gaga changes the atmosphere to a more brutal one. Every boo, insult and negative reaction you can think of is thrown towards the stage and increased tenfold when Casey Holliday storms out extremely pissed off. Holding the Golden Ticket contract case in her right hand, she flips off the crowd and roars back at them infuriated by her position on the card.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Casey rolls her eyes then continues her walk down the entrance path. She argues with a couple of fans behind the barricades during her strut down to the ring. Erin doesn’t really show much emotion to this flaming women nor does she care about the Golden briefcase she carries. It doesn’t mean Casey won’t insult Erin but her attention is focused on the Guardian thus adding more insult to injury.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing the second participant! Hailing from Bellevue, Washington! At five feet, five inches tall, weighing in at 125 pounds. She is the Golden Ticket Winner, Casey Holliday!
She walks around the ring keeping close to the apron; There’s a point where she nearly swings her briefcase at a fan screaming at her. Casey slams her hand on top of the announce table before stomping her way up the steps. She swings through the ropes, climbs on the middle turnbuckles of her corner then raises the briefcase. Holliday points around towards the members of the audience.
Sebastian Reid: The longest reigning UCI Rising Stars Champion and the first ever Golden Ticket Winner. However, that is not enough for her because her actions towards Bonnie is completely out of control. She wants to take everything away from The Guardians starting with the UCI Intercontinental Championship!
Casey drops down from the turnbuckles and leans back against the turnbuckles in her corner. Neither her nor Fausse bat an eye at each other, they don’t even respect their presence. Once Casey’s music fades away, the crowd are still at their highest peak of boos for her which only pisses her off even more.
Jimmy Garcia: The controversy surround Casey Holliday revolves around the Golden Ticket along with Bonnie Blue going for the UCI World Heavyweight Championship. We’re seeing a change in Casey, a more demented and infuriated women. It’s a change for the worse and she’s becoming unhinged. She said exclusively that the Guardians will one day be hers and that’s by taking everything from them!
The famous guitar riff which shuts all lights out changes their attention to the titantron revealing Andre Holmes backstage preparing for his match. “Relentless” by New Years Day immediately takes off cuing the lights to dance and flash around the audience. A single spotlight center stage revealing Andre Holmes covered in that leather black hoodie with the UCI Intercontinental Championship belt around his waist surveying the supportive Missouri audience.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ANDRE HOLMES! ANDRE HOLMES! ANDRE HOLMES!
He walks down to the ring nodding his head along with the beat and those championship gold garnering the attention of Erin and Casey in their corners. Andre pauses in his walk as the lyrics are heard: “Tear Me Down, It Won’t Build You Up…”. Removing the hoodie over his head, he assumes the lone wolf stance, emits a war cry and the lights return to normal while the stage behind him erupts with a line of smoke firing in the air.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing the final participant! Hailing from Houston, Texas! At five feet, nine inches tall, weighing in at 201 pounds. He is the first ever UCI Triple Crown Champion and the UCI Intercontinental Champion, “Relentless” Andre Holmes!
Wearing a simple black, and red design underwear with a long sleeve black arm wear covering his right forearm with "Holmes" engraved in red across it. His MMA gloves sponsored by tap-out representing his striking background. Along with that, "Relentless" is tattooed down his spine, and his black knee pads are custom-made with his insignia of his graphically designed initials on each pad. Finally, his leg padding covers the lower part of his legs, and his boots are striped in red, and black together.
Gravedigger: Here he is ladies and gentlemen! The man who will take pleasure in beating down not one but two beautiful female competitors. If you don’t know, he’s marked his territory on Erin Fausse by kicking her mouth filled with thumbtacks and now he’s about to do the same to Casey with the excuse of: “It’s to defend my title bruh.”
Andre hops on the apron then climbs onto the middle turnbuckle outside his corner. He unstraps the belt from around his waist, raises it high over his head; Smoke rises from below along with a spotlight shining behind him while the arena falls into darkness. The silhouette is shown to the fans at ringside until he jumps over the top rope into his corner bringing everything back to normal.
Sebastian Reid: If there’s anyone who has done everything for UCI, it’s Andre Holmes. He has accomplished a lot and has proven how much he can hold in the company. Andre should never be ashamed of himself, he’s opened a lot of doors for new generations. Now he defends the UCI Intercontinental Championship against Erin Fausse and Casey Holliday.
Once his music fades away, Andre hands the UCI Intercontinental Championship belt to the referee. He takes off his leather jacket and tosses it to the ringside crew, Taylor Lorde is outside the ring and the referee holds the belt over his head to the camera. Erin, Casey and Andre looks back and forth between each other; The referee returns ensuring this match is ready!
Jimmy Garcia: This is it ladies and gentlemen! The co-main event of Lazarus! Erin Fausse, Casey Holliday and Andre Holmes, Two out of Three Falls in a Triple Threat Match for the UCI Intercontinental Championship! Here we go!
Ding Ding Ding!
All three competitors remain in their corner and are tensed up to get into the action. Erin and Casey continue to stare among each other while Andre gets into his Unorthodox stance. They both realize who is the main target so they leave their corners holding close to the ropes. Andre goes into the middle exactly where they wanted him to be; Now he’s surrounded as they get closer inch by inch.
Crowd: LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO ANDRE!
Jimmy Garcia: Andre feared this would happen. He’s the favourite out of the betting odds, the champion and arguably the most dangerous person in the match. It’s only right the contenders would target him first. How will Casey Holliday and Erin Fausse keep this temporary alliance until who gets the last pinfall?
Casey fakes an attack which leaves Andre to fake a right Side Kick. Erin tries to jump from behind but he attempts a Spinning Back Kick to keep her distance. Having enough of the two, he quickly jumps into Casey barraging her with Elbow Shots into her dome forcing her into the corner. Erin strikes from behind leaving the two to get an early combined pummeling on the champion!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gravedigger: Ha! So much for being a fighting champion! He can’t even take on two women at once!
They continue to barrage him in the corner with Forearm Shots, Elbows and Kicks into his exposed midsection. Casey halts the attack and holds onto one arm while Erin holds the other; They step back to whip him into the ropes. Upon the return, both girls bend down for a Double Back Body Drop but Andre Soccer Kicks Holliday in the right shoulder standing her up!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOH!
He follows with an Axe Kick to the back of Erin’s head also standing her upright then he leaps up Dropkicking them both through the top and middle rope. As Andre lands down on his side, Casey and Erin collapse on the apron then slips off to the ringside mat. He gets back up on his feet then looks around the crazy crowd going nuts for him.
Crowd: ANDRE HOLMES! ANDRE HOLMES! ANDRE HOLMES! ANDRE HOLMES!
Sebastian Reid: Is Andre Holmes going for a dive?!
Gravedigger: Randy Orton disapproves!
Erin and Casey are recovering at ringside, getting back up on their feet at a slow pace. Andre runs to the ropes behind him then rebounds to the ropes near his opponents. He dives through the middle and bottom rope, Spearing both ladies in the chest thus taking himself along with them out. All three competitors are down at ringside and the fans go ape shift.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jimmy Garcia: Heat Seeking Missile! One of his famous trademark moves; A Suicide Dive through the middle and bottom rope took out both Erin Fausse and Casey Holliday! Luckily, there is no count outs in a Triple Threat Match so expect a lot of action on ringside!
He gets up first then reaches his hands around Erin’s head. Dragging her back up, he rolls her inside of the ring following her. Both competitors are back up but Erin eats a Spinning Back Kick into her midsection bending her forward. He takes her right arm, puts it over his neck then slams her down with a Snap Suplex! Andre floats over on top of her chest hooking the right leg.
One!
Erin kicks out leaving Andre to continue the offense. He brings her up onto his feet then holds onto her right arm before throwing her into the corner. Her back glued against the turnbuckles, Andre charges into the corner and nails Fausse with a Corner Clothesline sitting her down. He runs back to the opposing corner, rebounds and lands that Freight Train Corner Knee into her nose!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Gravedigger: Oh wow! Doing the same thing he did to her in the No Disqualifications Match! The Trapped in the Corner trademark move where it’s a Corner Clothesline followed by a Corner Knee. He still has a knock for abusing beautiful women in the face!
He drags her out of the corner and rolls her down into the center of the ring. Andre exits through the middle and top rope to stand on the apron, lining himself up with both hands held onto the top rope. Holmes nods to the crowd then goes to leap to the top ro- No! Casey comes at the right time grabbing his ankles then pulling him down with his chin slapping against the edge of the apron!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gravedigger: Haha! I love that! Casey taking advantage of the Triple Threat and bringing the pain to Andre Holmes! You saw the way she smacked his chin Reid?
Sebastian Reid: Yeah and?
Gravedigger: You suck. Appreciate a beautiful woman taking charge, will ya’?
Casey gets to work ignoring the pissed off fans behind the barricades. She helps Andre back up to his feet and grabs him by the back of the head. Loading him up, both of them are going into the steel steps then she launches him face first against the steel steps. His body ricochets the top step from the bottom as he falls onto the ringside mat nearly unconscious from the chaotic blow!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sebastian Reid: Oh my God! She just rammed him through the steps and his face might have been busted wide open! He’s bleeding from the blow!
She rolls him over and smirks at him bleeding in the middle of his forehead. Rolling him back inside the ring, she follows to help him up on his feet. A good kick in the ribs bends him forward followed by a knee clocking him in the chin. Andre is spun around to a Diving Crossbody from Erin Fausse landing on top of him in the center of the ring!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Jimmy Garcia: The numbers game always have a strong advantage in this type of matches! Here comes Erin Fausse with the pin attempt!
One!
Tw-
No! Andre kicks out leaving Erin to stand up. Casey whispers something into her ear then she nods agreeing to the plan. Both women help him up then whips him into the ropes where he rebounds to a Double Clothesline into the chest. He hits the canvas then sits up where they both run to the ropes, return the Basement Dropkick him in the chest and back!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Sebastian Reid: Double Basement Dropkick after the Double Clothesline! Andre Holmes is getting attacked on both sides and he can barely fight back!
This time it’s Casey Holliday who gets the pin attempt and the referee slides down onto the mat to count it!
One!
Tw-
No! Hell no! Andre ain’t going out like that! The two girls are getting frustrated so they both help Andre back up to his feet. He breaks the hold off of them and starts striking them both with back to back Boxing combinations followed by Roundhouse Kicks. It wasn’t until Erin rips her thumb into his right eye blinding him then getting dropped on the mat with Casey hitting a Spear!
Crowd: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Gravedigger: So much for that attempted momentum change. No matter what you do Andre, you won’t win this one period!
Holliday picks up Andre and launches him into the corner. His back slams against the turnbuckles and he nearly collapses onto his right knee. Casey holds onto the right arm of Erin thus adding more speed into her sprint by whipping her into Andre Holmes. Fortunately for the champion, he spins out of the way letting Fausse hit the turnbuckles back first then kicks her in the chin with a Gamengiri!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jimmy Garcia: And their plan backfires as Andre Holmes moves out of the way plus nailing her in the chin with a Gamengiri!
He lands on his feet then charges over to Casey to boot her in the head. She catches the boot, shaking her head with a smile on her face saying “Not this time!”. She tosses his leg upwards but that helps the backflip motion which adds more impact on the Pele Kick to Erin Fausse! Fausse falls down on the canvas and Andre lands on his knees looking up at the embarrassed Casey Holliday.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sebastian Reid: Now that’s funny! Another backfire in their plan!
Casey yells being pissed off then runs straight into the Relentless champion. He carries her up on his shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry before falling back to the mat slamming her down with a Samoan Drop! Rolling backwards over her chest to his feet, he leaps off the mat, flip backwards then lands his weight on top of her ribs finishing the sequence with a Standing Shooting Star Splash!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Sebastian Reid: Shooting Star Samoan! Shooting Star Samoan! He landed that Trademark Move again and Casey rolls out under the bottom rope to the apron! Now Andre’s following her outside and this means bad news!
Damn right this means bad news! He’s pretty upset from being tossed face first against the steel steps. He stands on the apron grabbing a handful of Casey’s hair, violently forcing her back up to her feet before shoving her head in between her thighs. Lifting her upside down, he sits down thus spiking her head against the apron edge with a Piledriver on the apron!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
She collapses like a corpse to ringside. No movement, nothing from her reaction. Andre takes a moment to wipe the blood off then marches over to the announce table. He starts ripping away the covers, removing the television sets inside then even demands the announcer's to get the hell out of the way. Holmes returns back to Casey dragging her on top of the apron!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Gravedigger: Andre! No! No! No! Come on Andre, not this again! Not again Andre! Don’t you have enough?!
He stands on the announce table then slowly reaches his hand for her head. Dragging her up onto her feet, Andre destroys her ribs again with back to back knees in the Muay Thai clinch. Casey collapses onto her right knee then he shoves her head in between her legs. Making matters worse, he underhooks both her arms into her legs setting up for the Package Piledriver!
Sebastian Reid: Oh my God! He’s setting up the Package Piledriver which was the same move that nearly put Kuno Kenji out of commission! Come on Andre, you don’t need to go this far!
Gravedigger: ANDRE STOP!
Luckily, Erin nails a Forearm into the back of his right leg tripping him spine first on the top of the announce table. Casey rolls off to the ringside mat letting Erin tend to her. Both women are back up except for Casey who looks at Andre then back to Erin. They both nod again, confirming an attack. She starts slapping his chest with Forearms over and over while Fausse goes to the apron and makes her way up to the top rope.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jimmy Garcia: What are they doing?! What are they setting up?! Erin Fausse is on the- LOOK OUT!
Casey yells at Erin Fausse to do it! Fausse stands on the top rope with her back facing Andre Holmes on the announce table. She leaps backwards off the tope producing a picture perfect Moonsault flip crashing her on top of Holmes thus shattering the announce table! Pieces of it go flying everywhere and Casey falls back on her ass due to the explosive crash!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Jimmy Garcia: ERIN FAUSSE JUST LANDED A DIVING MOONSAULT ON ANDRE HOLMES TAKING THEM BOTH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! OH MY GOD!
Gravedigger: THAT. WAS. BEAUTIFUL!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Erin rolls back and forth in agony from the crash while Andre is currently laid out. Casey gets off her ass then quickly holds Andre in her grasp dragging him into the ring before rolling him in. She rushes back over to Erin who is barely getting up using the barricade for aid. Pulling her into the ring, Erin lies in a corner while Casey is standing up on the apron.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sebastian Reid: Andre Holmes has taken the most damage in this Triple Threat Match and he’s still fighting the urge to get back on his feet!
Andre stands on his legs, wobbling from the pain. He slowly turns around to see Casey Holliday Springboarding off the top rope into the air. She leaps into his general direction taking the head into his grasp before spinning all the way down into the mat. The Intercontinental Champion gets spiked onto his head in the center of the ring!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Gravedigger: The signature move of Casey Holliday! The Springboard Tornado DDT literally breaking the neck of Andre Holmes! Wait, Erin Fausse is back up!
He sits up after rolling from the Springboard Tornado DDT. Erin grabs onto both sides of the top rope dragging herself back up to her feet then she bolts into Andre. Lifting up her right knee while falling onto the mat, she digs the tip of her powerful knee into his nose blowing him back down onto the canvas!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Jimmy Garcia: Knee Trembler! The Knee Trembler takes out Andre Holmes in the center of the ring and Erin Fausse makes the pin attempt!
One!
Two!
Three!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Taylor Lorde: Erin Fausse has scored her first fall!
She rolls off Andre Holmes letting Casey Holliday drop on top of his chest. She hooks up the leg and the referee slides back down on the canvas to count the pin!
One!
Two!
Three!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Taylor Lorde: Casey Holliday has scored her first fall!
Jimmy Garcia: Oh wow! Their plan was worked so far. Both women have scored the first fall on the champion and Andre Holmes is in a broken mess. Now what will they do knowing the second fall will earn them the championship belt?!
Erin and Casey walk around the ring regaining their strength until Fausse jumps quickly on top of Andre Holmes to hook the leg up again for another pinfall attempt!
One!
Two!
Thr-
Casey drags Erin from off Andre and she gets back up on her feet. She argues with Casey asking why the hell would she disturb the pin but Holliday convinces her to put more beatdowns on the champion. When Erin turns around, Casey drops down onto her side behind her then rolls her up onto her shoulders for a sneak pin!
One!
Two!
Erin kicks out and the two get back up on their feet. The crowd are getting off their feet knowing they are about to explode as they put their heads together. They start fighting back and forth, each blow into their head becoming faster and stronger. The Missouri crowd are off their seats watching the two temporary friends revert back to permanent enemies!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gravedigger: No! What are you dumb bitches doing?! Stop fighting each other and focus on making sure Andre Holmes never rises back up again!
Sebastian Reid: What happened to respecting women?
Gravedigger: Shut up Reid!
The final blow into their cheeks drives them both back a few steps. Erin and Casey need a moment to regain their breath. A few steps into their personal space results in a highly unstable staredown between the two. They continue to argue and insult each other until they slowly turn heads viewing a bloody Andre Holmes standing on his feet for one last chance into the match.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jimmy Garcia: After everything they’ve done to him, Andre Holmes is still in the match and he’s ready for one last try! Here he comes!
Erin charges first into Andre but falls down into the canvas after eating a Roundhouse Kick into the chest. Casey follows after leaving Andre to repeat the same action and knock her down with a Roundhouse Kick into her chest. He runs into the ropes then rebounds back down into Casey before spinning around after she gets up then clocking her in the head with a Rolling Elbow!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sebastian Reid: Andre Holmes just got his second wind and is cleaning house in the match! He’s on the verge of being the best in the world and defending the UCI Intercontinental Championship!
Fausse is back up again and she charges into Andre before getting scooped off the mat then planted down on the back of her head with a Michinoku Driver II. Holding her shoulders down in the execution, the referee slides down to the mat to count the pin!
One!
Two!
Thre-
Andre gets back up on his feet and sees Casey Holliday in the corner trying to recover. When she stands up to her feet against her back, he bursts down into the corner she’s in. Lifting his right leg up, a Yakuza Kick uproots into his chin completely knocking her into the canvas. Andre climbs up onto the top turnbuckle before leaping backwards corkscrewing into a 450 flip crashing onto Holliday with a Phoenix Splash!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sebastian Reid: DEADLINE TRAP! DEADLINE TRAP! HE’S GOING FOR THE PIN ATTEMPT ON CASEY HOLLIDAY!
One!
Two!
Thre-
No! Erin pulls him off at the last minute which lets Casey Holliday roll out of the ring for a moment. She drags him into the center of the ring where she helps him back up to his feet then tries to set him up Piledriver but instead, he hoists her up onto his shoulders in a Powerbomb position. Charging into the corner, Andre brutally Powerbombs Erin Fausse into the turnbuckles!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Jimmy Garcia: BAD LANDING! BAD LANDING! ERIN FAUSSE IS ON HER KNEES AND IT’S DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN!
Gravedigger: IT CAN’T HAPPEN LIKE THIS! NOT TO MY GIRL ERIN! NOT AGAIN! THE HORRIBLE MEMORIES ARE COMING UP!
Erin walks from the corner and drops down to her knees in front of Andre. He looks down at her and screams out the same words he said before, “God Forgives”. Andre skips over on his right leg before Thrust Kicking her down in the chin, her body snapping backwards onto the canvas where he drops down to pin her!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Sebastian Reid: THRUST KICK! THE THRUST KICK ON ERIN FAUSSE! HE’S GOT IT!
One!
Two!
Three!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Taylor Lorde: Andre Holmes has scored his first pinfall!
He rolls off the chest of Erin Fausse who is temporarily knocked out and crawls in the center of the ring. The Missouri crowd is begging and screaming for Andre to get up; It takes him moments before he actually does. Standing on wobbly legs, he turns around to Casey Holliday kicking him in the ribs to bend him forward. Arm around her neck, head under her armpit and the right leg hooked up, she twists over landing that Corkscrew Neckbreaker onto the back of his head!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gravedigger: STOCK PLUNGE BY CASEY HOLLIDAY! THE STOCK PLUNGE BY CASEY HOLLIDAY! IT’S OVER! WE HAVE A NEW UCI INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION AND HERE IS THE PIN ATTEMPT!
One!
Two!
Three-
Hell no! Andre shoves his right shoulder which shocks the entire Missouri crowd. Casey sits up nearly ripping her hair out and she looks around for any chance of resentment. The referee confirms it was a two count so she starts throwing a temper tantrum around, banging her arms and legs like a spoiled child!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!
Jimmy Garcia: AFTER TAKING SO MUCH IN THIS MATCH, ANDRE HOLMES REFUSES TO GIVE UP! HE IS SHOWING EXACTLY WHY HE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST WRESTLERS IN UCI HISTORY!
That bulge in her red eyes is twitching. Casey rolls out of the ring before dropping onto her knees on the ringside mat. She gets back up and walks over to the timekeeper’s area tossing Taylor Lorde to the floor violently. Folding up the steel chair, Casey marches back over to the ring before sliding it in following after. The referee warns Casey not do it but the look in her eyes means business!
Crowd: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Gravedigger: Casey, keep your head baby girl! Don’t get your disqualified from the match, you can do this baby girl! You need to focus!
She walked over to Andre Holmes crawling in the center of the ring until she grapples onto his head from behind. She stands him up and positions him in front of the chair, holding his arm out, putting her leg in front of his. The Forward Russian Legsweep is positioned with the steel chair as x marked the spot.
Sebastian Reid: Oh God! If she hits this signature move, it could end his career! She’s going to kill him!
She goes to sweep him until Andre rolls over her right leg sweeping her down onto her back. He sits down on her chest taking her legs in her arms and locking them around. Holmes rolls onto his back having Casey on top of her with his legs wrapped around her waist. Basically, he locks her deep into the rare version of his submission finisher. Displaying the legendary “Gorilla Clutch” in the center of the ring!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jimmy Garcia: THE INFAMOUS GORILLA CLUTCH SUBMISSION HOLD IS LOCKED IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! THIS SUBMISSION HAS WON HIM WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS AND ENDED CAREERS! WILL CASEY HOLLIDAY TAP OUT TO THIS?!
Casey is screaming at the top of her lungs, she’s clawing down on the canvas like a chained animal caught in a bear trap. Andre leans back more with the tied legs in his grasp while bear hugging her stomach with his legs. The referee leans in very closely to the submission and Casey raises her right hand almost ready to tap out.
Sebastian Reid: SHE’S ABOUT TO TAP OUT! SHE’S ABOUT TO TAP! ANDRE HOLMES IS GOING TO RETAI- WAIT! WHAT IS ERIN FAUSSE DOING ON THE TOP ROPE?!
All this time wasted was the perfect opportunity to get to the top rope for Erin Fausse. She stands at her full height and Andre notices it too late as he releases the hold on Casey attempting to escape. Fausse leaps off the top turnbuckle displaying a 450 Flip but Casey moves first letting Erin crash onto the champion!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Gravedigger: YES! YES! YES! THE 450 SPLASH ON TOP OF ANDRE HOLMES AND ERIN FAUSSE IS GOING FOR THE PIN ATTEMPT!
One!
Two!
Three-
Erin is dragged off by Casey who got away just in time. She grabs Erin by the head, drags her onto her feet before tossing her out of the ring to ringside. Standing in the distance between Andre Holmes and the corner, she gets that sadistic smirk on her face. Casey walks over to the corner then climbs onto the top turnbuckle with her back facing the downed Andre Holmes.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sebastian Reid: What is Casey doing?
Casey stands on the top rope mimicking the Bonnie Blue powerfist. She leaps backwards in the air corkscrewing into a Swanton. She lands her back down onto his ribs again, Casey just took the legendary finisher of Bonnie Blue, the Sonic Screwdriver. As Holliday’s back lands against his ribs, she leans back hooking the leg with both arms for the pin attempt!
Gravedigger: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Sebastian Reid: OH THAT IS JUST WRONG!
Jimmy Garcia: CASEY HOLLIDAY ADDING INSULT TO INJURY ON THE GUARDIANS AND SHE TOOK THE FINISHING MOVE OF BONNIE BLUE! THE SONIC SCREWDRIVER! WILL WE HAVE A NEW UCI INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION?!
One!
Two!
Three!
Ding Ding Ding!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
“Fashion” by Lady Gaga returns to the stereo system of the arena supported by thunderous boos by the Missouri crowd. Casey slowly gets off from Andre Holmes and back up to her feet in the center of the ring receiving her Golden Ticket briefcase. Now she is handed the UCI Intercontinental Championship belt and her hand gets raised by the referee!
Taylor Lorde: Introducing your winner and the NEW UCI Intercontinental Champion, Casey Holliday!
Casey falls back into the ropes smiling and laughing to herself, hugging the championship belt to her chest which is in her possession. She climbs onto the middle turnbuckle in the nearest corner raising the briefcase and the belt above her head, laughing to the fans at ringside. The referee continues to check on the medical condition of Andre Holmes who hasn’t moved!
Gravedigger: I never thought I’d see the day a Guardian gets destroyed but holy moly, Casey Holliday has broken tiers! I told you that she would be a champion again and I wouldn’t have it than she beating Andre Holmes to become the new UCI Intercontinental Champion!
Casey leaves the ring backtracking in her step as she is over excited to be the new UCI Intercontinental Champion. She flips off the audience and heads to the back along with Erin Fausse escorted by medical personnel. As her entrance music fades, inside the ring is Andre Holmes sitting up on his feet accompanied by medical personnel checking on him. Rounds of applauses are heard from the Missouri crowd.
Crowd: THANK YOU ANDRE! THANK YOU ANDRE! THANK YOU ANDRE! THANK YOU ANDRE!
Sebastian Reid: Man, I don’t know what Andre is feeling right now. He put a lot into this match and he gave a heartfelt performance. He has nothing to be ashamed of and he’s one if not the best wrestler to grace our hearts. Andre Holmes has accomplished a lot and there are rumors if this would be his last match.
Gravedigger: ….Man. As much as I hate to admit it, he helped with the foundations of UCI. I’ll give props where props is due. He’s earned my respect but I still hate his midget ass.
Andre slowly stands back to his feet but leans on the ropes for support. He slowly makes it out of the ring before limping all the way up to the entrance ramp. Holmes turns around to look at the crowd center stage, nodding his head as they continue to cheer his name. He bows to their support before heading backstage needing time to recover and recuperate.
Jimmy Garcia: This was one of the best matches we’ve ever seen. Erin Fausse put up an amazing performance and Casey Holliday is our new UCI Intercontinental Champion! The real question is what will Andre Holmes do? What is his intentions and is this really the last time we’ll see Andre Holmes ever compete in the UCI? Stay tuned for our main event of UCI Presents: Lazarus! |
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