Recruitment Drive (GoT spoilers inside)
May 19, 2016 16:13:06 GMT -6
John Gable, Spencer Adams, and 5 more like this
Post by jenson on May 19, 2016 16:13:06 GMT -6
The fields were a lovely lush green colour, blue skies, bright like a very beautiful azure blanket above their heads. The sunshine beat down, casting a golden glow on everything it surveyed. Most people had a barbecue on days like this, most people sat in deckchairs, on patios, in parks, on benches or whatever they had to hand while drinking beer, lemonade or something refreshing. Most people just enjoyed being outdoors and waving in the full summer, loving their lazy days as they relaxed for the weekend after a hard week of work.
Most people.
Andre Jenson, for want of a better phrase isn't most people. For example, he'd feel too comfortable or bored sitting on a deckchair drinking beer or Pimms and Lemonade. He'd feel out of sorts wearing some board shorts and a t shirt in the heat, wearing sandals on the beach or generally doing any of those things that most people were doing right now. No, Andre Jenson on this particular hot early summer's day was participating in “Le grand tournoi Unicorn” wearing full plate armour, that frankly felt like an oven on days like this. He couldn't drink because he'd need to pee and peeing – one of the pretty much staple things that you need to do as a human being was impossible in full armour, unless you want to get some nice chafing and/or rusting. It was the grand final of the melee. He'd already on that day bested some of the best LARPers in the country and was just about to go out and face the grand Champion “Brontar the Fist” who won the tournament 5 years in a row.
Brontar was a big, hulking beast, a brute that could shatter a shield into splinters. That the shields were made of balsa wood wasn't really a talking point amongst the LARP circles of the country, nor was the fact that the guy generally won the thing because he was the owner of the particular LARP event that was happening this particular summer day. The last time he faced anyone, he won because the other guy chose a rubber duck as his weapon, with no shield and spent most of the final few seconds of the tournament quacking at him and running around in circles. This kind of thing always happened to Brontar and frankly, he was getting bored of it and wanted a real melee for once.
To AJ's credit, he didn't know a single thing about any of this, he was as they say being “incognito” and touring the country to find the best LARPers in the realm. He entered the lists as a last minute entrant, under the name “Lord Personne” and signed with a seal which said “definitely not Andre Jenson” so, yeah completely legit and 100% incognito. He didn't know that people threw matches for Brontar, he didn't think that he needed to do anything other than give a true, honest account of himself and do the best he could. He was confident – knowing that his superior speed and endurance could help him here. The other guy wasn't so quick, but fuck, he was strong. He assessed him on the opening melee and figured that he must have rolled 20s in strength. His technique with the sword was also almost perfect. Almost. There was a weakness for a quicker person to get through, but it's hard to be quick in full plate.
“Ashbury,” He said while Lord Ashbury was helping him to check his suit for issues. “What do you think of this chap?”
Ashbury replied while not looking away from his armour. “No my Lord, he doesn't have the right mindset. You want someone who will follow you in battle and be disciplined on your forthcoming quest. This man is prone to flurries of emotion and his technique fails.”
AJ looked at Ashbury on hearing this. “Serious? How did I not notice that?”
“He hides it well, my Lord. However during the semi final he lost his temper at one point, albeit fleeting and did indeed drop his guard.”
“And what was I doing at this time?” AJ asked, while adjusting the strap on a gauntlet.
“I believe you were finding out your opponents at the upcoming UCI tournament my Lord.” Replied Ashbury, somewhat tersely.
“You still don't approve?” AJ asked.
“I do whatever you decide, my Lord. My opinion doesn't count in such matters.”
“Ashbury, you are my oldest friend, of course it matters.” AJ replied, tenderly.
Ashbury hesitated. “My Lord, it's just,” he paused while trying to think of how best to say it. “You have an important quest, yet you want to face these degenerates in hand to hand combat every week. I just feel like you could spend your time more wisely.”
AJ smiled. “What's more wise or noble than the fine art of hand to hand combat? I believe that our quest will be fulfilled and by winning these matches in UCI we shall be able to collect what we need and finally bring an end to our quest. Rest assured Ashbury, magic shall once again permeate throughout this realm of Earth. The mages of Shone have promised this.”
“They asked you to bring gold and prove your prowess at combat. You already have that – why did you just smile and walk away?”
“While it is true that I have gold aplenty and I have proven my prowess with the sword, bow, mace, shield, axe, staff, dagger, flail, morningstar, dirk.” He paused for a second, with enough time for Ashbury to try to speak – but AJ cut him off and continued: “Scimitar, pole, hammer, sickle, sling, club, kukri, mace, scythe, pick, spear, glaive, ranseur, arbalest and, in one case a bouquet of flowers. I have yet to prove myself fully in hand to hand combat. UCI is where I can learn and prove my craft. I can face fearsome competition using hand, foot, head and body. Once I have mastered it, I can truly be worthy of the mages' attention. Until then, UCI is where we are going.”
This was enough to stop any protestations from Ashbury, who shrugged and tightened a strap on his back.
“There.” He said, “you are ready.”
AJ smiled before putting on his helm. “Besides,” he said, the helm muffling his voice somewhat. “It's fun.”
AJ strode out to the middle of the arena, which was marked with rope on the field. His vision now fixed on the competitor in front of him. His opponent did the same, standing 10 feet away. Even though his helm was shrouding his face, AJ got the sense that Grongar was focussed on hurting him and beating him. There is something in a man's stance that tells you just what the measure of a man was and what his intentions were. This man in front of AJ right now may as well have been singing the song “Mama said knock you out” by LL Cool J at the top of his voice, in AJ's face. He just oozed danger.
Nonchalantly, AJ stepped forward just as the brute stepped forward, closing the distance, ready for the fight. It began in a flash. Bronthar came at him with his sword in a crushing overhead sweep, crashing down on to the earth as AJ dodged. The idea, he thought was to stay away from him and tire him out. A fine strategy, thank you very much. Another swing, another dodge, closer this time. The dude just isn't tiring. AJ tried some offence of his own, a parry and a thrust here, a swing there, everything effortlessly deflected by the other man. AJ even came in close to him, locking the bigger man's sword with his own sword and shield. The man simply let go of his sword, laughed, and punched him in the face, knocking AJ down with a terrible thud. AJ's head buzzed, he had really no idea where he was at that point, which was pretty bad news considering the giant was bearing down on him with the full force of his sword. AJ willed himself to throw his body to one side and, with great protestation it managed it. Just in the nick of time, as AJ heard a thwack of the sword going past his head and missing him by an inch. He heard a voice from above him.
“Ser, remember, he's too good.” Came Ashbury's voice, urgently. “Make him angry”
AJ rolled his eyes behind his visor and managed to struggle to his feet as Brontar managed to get the sword out of the earth, apparently he hit it so hard it got stuck in the ground. As you do. AJ picked up his sword, throwing his shield to the side as he thought of possibilities. He started circling the giant while talking.
“So,” He began. “Your mom, I heard.....” He was cut off by having to dodge a swinging blow. “OK, how about you look like a....” Another dodge, this time very close, A J let out a small whistle as it went past him by the width of an ant's left antennae. Clearly those insults weren't working, so AJ thought of a plan B – if you can't make them mad then why not make them a friend? AJ backed up a little, catching his breath, with his sword still out in a guard position, just in case. He held his other hand up in a conciliatory gesture.
“You and I obviously are very well matched,” he began, then shrugged. “Well, you may well be more matched than I am, and I'm ok with that.” He smiled behind his visor, a pointless gesture, as he had his whole face covered by metal, but he did it anyway. “Tell me, do you watch Thrones?” He asked, in a very nice manner, he thought. I mean who wouldn't want to talk about Game of Thrones he thought? Clearly, he was correct, as a small grunt of acknowledgement came from the other side.
“Ah! Excellent!” He began, “Have you seen this week's episode yet?”
Another grunt came from the other side, Brontar clearly not attacking because a conversation about Game of Thrones is clearly a good topic to get onto, even in the midst of a grand melee final. This grunt sounded negative though, like a no. AJ, however, his head trapped in a metal case that meant sounds were kinda muffled thought it might have been a yes. He said the immortal line that would finally tip Brontar over the edge and come at him in such a violently furious frenzy that AJ would finally have his opening, albeit rather by accident.
“Wasn't Dani killing all the Khals and taking over the Khalasar, then Jon Snow agreeing to go and attack Winterfell with the Wildlings just totally awesome?”
Of course, if you, as the reader not seen this episode yet? I'm sorry. I will try to hide it for you, but I am making no promises. You'll just have to lump it and not go in a rage like Brontar did. To this end, Brontar, as predicted, lost his form, AJ was easily able to dodge his blow and sneak in behind his guard and take him out with a well placed sword to the throat. (Obviously it would be a killing blow in the real world, but AJ stopped just short and asked Brontar to yield. To his credit, he yielded with no fuss and calmed down considerably after AJ apologised for the spoiler.)
AJ held his arm out in an unmistakable gesture of friendship, which Brontar duly took and helped him to his feet as the assembled crowd cheered and applauded, while the trumpets blared in the background, signalling the end of the contest. AJ slapped Brontar on the back and took off his helmet, Brontar doing the same.
“I knew what you were doing, trying to rile me up.” Said Brontar, smiling. “I just kept trying to shut you up, you persistent little shit. How'd you know Thrones would do it?”
AJ simply smiled at this and changed the subject, not really wanting to admit it was an accident.
“I have a proposition for you.” He began. “I'm in need of a good swordsman for my party. I have something coming up soon, a huge adventure and I will need some hardy souls for it. There will be plenty of coin and ale in it for you.”
“Aye?” Brontar seemed intrigued. “Who else is with you?”
AJ thought for a moment, not wanting to say what he was going to say, but having to say it anyway. “Well, we have Amy, of course with her majestic bow, Puny Elfling does what he can, bless him and..” He hesitated, noticing the growl coming from Brontar.
“No.” He said in disbelief.
AJ cringed. Then nodded. “Yes, we have Sir Slashalot on the party as well.”
Brontar spit.
“Why not Ashbury?”
AJ shrugged,
“Ashbury doesn't want to be adventuring these days, he wants to only advise. He says it's something to do with taking an arrow to the knee.”
“And you decided to ask me, despite knowing about my past with Slashalot?”
“Well, yes – it was a long time ago and I'm sure he...” AJ was cut off by a hand in his face from Brontar.
“Do not say it Jenson. I do not want to hear it.”
Brontar chewed his lip for a moment while looking around, they had walked to the feasting tent by now and the sounds of drinking, merriment and a hog roast crackling filled their ears and the smells delighted their nostrils. Brontar turned back to AJ.
“What is the job anyway? Not that I'm saying I'm in yet, I just want to know what I'll be getting myself into.”
AJ sat down on a bench and grabbed a mug of ale, waiting for Brontar to join him before he continued.
“Have you ever heard of the lost city of Shone?” He said in a hushed voice. Brontar nodded in affirmation. “We found it, not so long ago.” He had to stop Brontar from looking too excited by placating him with a calm down gesture and hissing for him to be quiet. Once Brontar was quiet enough, he continued. “We visited the mages there, they gave us a quest. The whole enclave wants us to bring them tales of victory in hand to hand combat as well as the gift of gold.”
Brontar nodded again while listening.
“Why don't you just tell them the stories of today and, well, not being funny but you have all the money in the world. You can actually give them gold anything.”
AJ grimaced at this, as he did whenever anyone brought up the fact he was super rich.
“That's not what they are suggesting. As you know, I can best everyone with a number of weapons.”
Brontar coughed and looked at him, eyebrows raised.
“OK,” AJ laughed “I can best most people. What I have yet to do is win any hand to hand competitions. I have yet to test myself against the very best in combat sports.”
Brontar shrugged, shaking his head. “So what are you saying? You want to do MMA?”
AJ frowned at this suggestion. “No, not MMA. That's not the very best, you are limited in weight class and gender. No I am talking UCI.”
“UCI?” Brontar laughed “That new wrestling place in Chicago? How do you know they're the best, AJ?”
AJ showed Brontar the roster on his iPad. Brontar whistled.
“OK, so they're the best. What do you need me for?”
“Protection mainly. When things happen I don't want to be cheated, you know? Besides, when we go to Shone again, I want you there. We need 5 people to open the portal to Shone and, well, Ashbury doesn't want to be there.”
The idea of going to Shone filled Brontar with great thoughts, dreams of riches and magic beyond all of his imagination. Even enough for him to consider being on the same team as Slashalot and not want to smash his thick head up against a wall constantly until the screams ended. He sighed, then took a swig of his ale. Making his mind up.
“You have yourself a deal, my Lord. I will protect the party on your behalf. I apologise in advance for what I may do to Slashalot though.”
AJ gave him a stern look. “I would expect you to act professionally,” he scolded. “I don't mind you not liking each other, but you do need to work together.” He continued the stare. Brontar shied away from his gaze.
“Promise me.” AJ said
Brontar mumbled
“Promise me.” AJ repeated, a little more sternly.
“Oh alright then,” Brontar gave in, eventually. “I promise to protect all of you and ensure that I don't fight with Slashalot until the adventure is over.”
They shook hands. AJ then swiped on his iPad to the next part of the UCI app he had open, this was the card for Overload.
“Overload eh?” Commented Brontar. “Stupid name for a show.”
AJ scowled at him, not wanting to let Brontar know he named it.
“So, we have this tournament to name the first ever UCI champion. A perfect opportunity. Win this tournament and I am sure this will be enough gold and glory to impress the mages.” He said, while flicking through the bios of each of the members of the roster in the tournament.
“You know anything about these 3?” Brontar asked, pointing at Demarcus Jordan, Occulo and Aurora. “You need to know your opponent in order to beat them. This is how you beat me, you knew my weakness was anger. You knew that my weakness was Game of Thrones and you were cunning enough to use it against me.
“Quite, quite,” AJ hurried on. “I know Occulo, I have faced him before. The others, not so much.”
AJ leant forwards and grabbed a satchel, sitting on the floor near his feet. He pulled out a massive book from the satchel, which had a stylised M inscribed on it. He opened the book at the index and started searching.
“What's this?” Asked Brontar.
“This, my friend, is the Macebook. It contains an in depth analysis of each and every competitor that I have come up against or am likely to come up against. I have now started to fill in entries for UCI fighters.”
Brontar looked a mixture of impressed and puzzled. “Am I in there?” He asked, naturally. As every time someone says something has names of everyone he needs to know about, the person who hears this instantly for some unfathomable reason decides they want to know what they said about them. Maybe it's vanity, maybe curiosity? Who knows? AJ wasn't about to tell him though and ignored the question. He flicked to Occulo's profile.
The profile page was laid out in almost the exact same way as a Dungeons and Dragons character sheet. It had the name of the person, a little picture attached to the side, a detailed breakdown of strengths and weaknesses along with motivtions, physical and mental stats and a hugely convoluted list of skills and secondary skills, some of which have very little to do with wrestling and an awful lot to do with cooking. On the comments, AJ has hastily scribbled in on some entries whether or not he'd like to LARP with them in the future, what class they'd be and how friendly they could be with him.
Occulo's profile read a little something like this:
Occulo:
From Washington, presumably American?
STR ?? 17 presumptive
DEX ?? 17 presumptive
CON ?? 15 presumpti
WIS ?? 14 presumptive
INT ?? 15 presumptive
CHA ?? 5 presumptive
Occulo is a little bit known. He has crossed our path before, but since his time off he may have levelled up. Possible secret agent, potentially martial artisty, completely lawful neutral. Occulo needs to be kept at bay, otherwise his brawling style and martial arts may be too good to pin down.
Could work with him in the future, he seems to be a friend of Bonnie. Bonnie is cool. Government ties, may have father issues.
Class: Monk, lawful, good?
“A bit sparse on Occulo, don't you think?” Said Brontar.
“Indeed, I am researching all this as we go along. UCI has not officially had any matches yet so it is difficult to establish accurate reports. This is based on previous dealings with him. All I know is he is dangerous. If I am to be victorious in this match, I would need to want to win it more than he. The man has a drive and a desire to succeed, maybe he's wanting to atone for his father, maybe he wants to generally prove to this universe he is great, maybe he's trying to find himself and this whole thing is an excuse for him to beat some people up while he does? Who knows? All I know is this guy went to a whole different universe at one point and came back, like a digital universe. If that doesn't say tenacious I don't know what does. He's extremely talented and, quite honestly he scares me.”
“A man who is willing to kill his father for the greater good is a risky man to be dealing with, my Lord.”
“The man who can kill his father for a cause is a man who cannot be easily distracted or tricked. He is focussed and is dangerous for this reason. Too much focus can also lead to detriment as you can miss the big picture. It is difficult to distract him through simple means but maybe if we ensure his ire is focussed on one of the other competitors it can be done. Or if I can somehow disable him early on in the bout and concentrate on the other two it can work. He needs to be crowd controlled basically. You know, like a boss.”
“Which boss?”
“Shabad the magnificent, if you remember him.”
“The one with the leg?”
“That one, yes. If I keep him away, I have a chance.”
“OK.”
AJ flips the page of his book, dust flying out of the mighty tome as if it has no business being there and has just been evicted by a rather pissed off landlord. He lands on the profile of Aurora.
“This lady,” he began. “I really don't know how to take her.”
“What do you mean?”
The profile of Aurora, again had her picture in the corner. A note next to her name is scribbled “not Chelsea”
From San Diego, American again (there are lots of them here)
STR ?? 12 presumptive
DEX ?? 17 presumptive
CON ?? 11 presumpti
WIS ?? 14 presumptive
INT ?? 15 presumptive
CHA ?? 15 presumptive
Quick, agile, cunning? Totally unknown, completely not Chelsea. Can use small frame to get in and out quickly, ambush tactics. Also can fit into storage bins, must check lockers. Maximum damage when sneaking up and getting away, vulnerable to prolonged attacks due to low HP and XP. Pressure, don't let her get away.
Class: Thief/Rogue. Neutral Neutral.
“As you can see, this person is brand new to the sport so is a relative unknown.” AJ explained. “However, knowing what I know about her, she is quick, smart, agile and has all the tools to be a master thief or rogue. Her gameplan is likely to get in, get out, quick strikes and hope she doesn't get hit too hard.”
“Maybe, that sounds like a good plan at least.”
“Indeed, wait until your opponent is distracted by another, attack fast and hard, take them out quickly before they even know it. Sound tactics. However,” AJ pointed to his temple, “she has her friend with her, she'll be desperate to impress and may be prone to the odd bout of flashiness. She may well come in hard and fast at one point and misjudge exactly where she's going and burn, crashing to the floor like Nomar the Destroyer.”
“Ah, Nomar, what a glorious bastard he was. I heard he ran at you like a crazed wildling, completely not realising you had a shield of protection on you just to appeal to a maiden?”
AJ laughed, more to himself than anything.
“Indeed he did. I see a potential for Aurora to do a Nomar if she feels that Chelsea is disapproving in some way. I also fear she is fragile both in body and spirit. However, let us not discount her, she has all the tools to be a fearsome foe. I want to make sure she's always under pressure and not able to do her damage. More so than the final opponent I have.”
“Ah,” said Brontar,” looking at the final profile on Macebook. He was looking at an entry for DeMarcus Jordan. This entry looked much more sparse than the others. It sure enough had his name, his profile picture and that he was from Atlanta. However, the rest of the entry was as follows:
STR ??
DEX ??
CON ??
WIS ??
INT ??
CHA ??
Harmless
“That's it?” Asked Brontar, eyebrows raised and looking at AJ incredulously.
“Yes, unless you know anything about him?” AJ asked hopefully.
“I know that he has a lot to prove, he had a tough childhood. Foster homes and abandonment make you one of two things.” Explained Brontar. “Either he is completely messed up emotionally and can no longer function correctly as a person, resisting and resenting the world at large, or he grew to be a tough skinned, dangerous kind of person who has resolve and much anger waiting to be unleashed upon someone. The fact is, you cannot just discount this kid because he could be one of the most dangerous people you may face.”
“How so?” Asked AJ
“Think about it, if you have nothing, nobody and absolutely no fear. You also have nothing to lose and will be willing to do anything to achieve your goals. Desperate and driven men tend to be dangerous men. They also tend to be unpredictable and willing to do anything to their body just to take you out.”
AJ thought for a moment. “Like Alf the deranged? The mad wizard king who lost all his family in that accident with the pigs? He went off the deep end a little and tried to summon his pigs back as like zombies.”
“A bit, yes, imagine that – but with fists.”
AJ shuddered a little bit, then rummaged in his rucksack again, picking up a quill and ink pot. He scribbled something in the entry. Brontar looked at it and shrugged.
“There.” AJ said, after putting his ink and quill back in the bag. “Mostly harmless.”
Brontar slapped AJ on the back, roaring with laughter. “Mostly harmless indeed, Lord Jenson. I shall now take my leave. I will see you in Kem on Saturday and we can journey to the land of Chicago together.”
AJ nodded in agreement and stood up to shake Brontar's hand.
“Well met Brontar. Welcome to the League of Larpers. With your sword, we shall surely prevail against the mightiest of foes beginning this Sunday eve. When the final bell has sounded, I shall be holding the dice of victory after hitting each one of these valiant opponents with a Critical Hit. I am sorry to the competitors, I really am. This will not be personal, it's just how the dice roll.”
Most people.
Andre Jenson, for want of a better phrase isn't most people. For example, he'd feel too comfortable or bored sitting on a deckchair drinking beer or Pimms and Lemonade. He'd feel out of sorts wearing some board shorts and a t shirt in the heat, wearing sandals on the beach or generally doing any of those things that most people were doing right now. No, Andre Jenson on this particular hot early summer's day was participating in “Le grand tournoi Unicorn” wearing full plate armour, that frankly felt like an oven on days like this. He couldn't drink because he'd need to pee and peeing – one of the pretty much staple things that you need to do as a human being was impossible in full armour, unless you want to get some nice chafing and/or rusting. It was the grand final of the melee. He'd already on that day bested some of the best LARPers in the country and was just about to go out and face the grand Champion “Brontar the Fist” who won the tournament 5 years in a row.
Brontar was a big, hulking beast, a brute that could shatter a shield into splinters. That the shields were made of balsa wood wasn't really a talking point amongst the LARP circles of the country, nor was the fact that the guy generally won the thing because he was the owner of the particular LARP event that was happening this particular summer day. The last time he faced anyone, he won because the other guy chose a rubber duck as his weapon, with no shield and spent most of the final few seconds of the tournament quacking at him and running around in circles. This kind of thing always happened to Brontar and frankly, he was getting bored of it and wanted a real melee for once.
To AJ's credit, he didn't know a single thing about any of this, he was as they say being “incognito” and touring the country to find the best LARPers in the realm. He entered the lists as a last minute entrant, under the name “Lord Personne” and signed with a seal which said “definitely not Andre Jenson” so, yeah completely legit and 100% incognito. He didn't know that people threw matches for Brontar, he didn't think that he needed to do anything other than give a true, honest account of himself and do the best he could. He was confident – knowing that his superior speed and endurance could help him here. The other guy wasn't so quick, but fuck, he was strong. He assessed him on the opening melee and figured that he must have rolled 20s in strength. His technique with the sword was also almost perfect. Almost. There was a weakness for a quicker person to get through, but it's hard to be quick in full plate.
“Ashbury,” He said while Lord Ashbury was helping him to check his suit for issues. “What do you think of this chap?”
Ashbury replied while not looking away from his armour. “No my Lord, he doesn't have the right mindset. You want someone who will follow you in battle and be disciplined on your forthcoming quest. This man is prone to flurries of emotion and his technique fails.”
AJ looked at Ashbury on hearing this. “Serious? How did I not notice that?”
“He hides it well, my Lord. However during the semi final he lost his temper at one point, albeit fleeting and did indeed drop his guard.”
“And what was I doing at this time?” AJ asked, while adjusting the strap on a gauntlet.
“I believe you were finding out your opponents at the upcoming UCI tournament my Lord.” Replied Ashbury, somewhat tersely.
“You still don't approve?” AJ asked.
“I do whatever you decide, my Lord. My opinion doesn't count in such matters.”
“Ashbury, you are my oldest friend, of course it matters.” AJ replied, tenderly.
Ashbury hesitated. “My Lord, it's just,” he paused while trying to think of how best to say it. “You have an important quest, yet you want to face these degenerates in hand to hand combat every week. I just feel like you could spend your time more wisely.”
AJ smiled. “What's more wise or noble than the fine art of hand to hand combat? I believe that our quest will be fulfilled and by winning these matches in UCI we shall be able to collect what we need and finally bring an end to our quest. Rest assured Ashbury, magic shall once again permeate throughout this realm of Earth. The mages of Shone have promised this.”
“They asked you to bring gold and prove your prowess at combat. You already have that – why did you just smile and walk away?”
“While it is true that I have gold aplenty and I have proven my prowess with the sword, bow, mace, shield, axe, staff, dagger, flail, morningstar, dirk.” He paused for a second, with enough time for Ashbury to try to speak – but AJ cut him off and continued: “Scimitar, pole, hammer, sickle, sling, club, kukri, mace, scythe, pick, spear, glaive, ranseur, arbalest and, in one case a bouquet of flowers. I have yet to prove myself fully in hand to hand combat. UCI is where I can learn and prove my craft. I can face fearsome competition using hand, foot, head and body. Once I have mastered it, I can truly be worthy of the mages' attention. Until then, UCI is where we are going.”
This was enough to stop any protestations from Ashbury, who shrugged and tightened a strap on his back.
“There.” He said, “you are ready.”
AJ smiled before putting on his helm. “Besides,” he said, the helm muffling his voice somewhat. “It's fun.”
AJ strode out to the middle of the arena, which was marked with rope on the field. His vision now fixed on the competitor in front of him. His opponent did the same, standing 10 feet away. Even though his helm was shrouding his face, AJ got the sense that Grongar was focussed on hurting him and beating him. There is something in a man's stance that tells you just what the measure of a man was and what his intentions were. This man in front of AJ right now may as well have been singing the song “Mama said knock you out” by LL Cool J at the top of his voice, in AJ's face. He just oozed danger.
Nonchalantly, AJ stepped forward just as the brute stepped forward, closing the distance, ready for the fight. It began in a flash. Bronthar came at him with his sword in a crushing overhead sweep, crashing down on to the earth as AJ dodged. The idea, he thought was to stay away from him and tire him out. A fine strategy, thank you very much. Another swing, another dodge, closer this time. The dude just isn't tiring. AJ tried some offence of his own, a parry and a thrust here, a swing there, everything effortlessly deflected by the other man. AJ even came in close to him, locking the bigger man's sword with his own sword and shield. The man simply let go of his sword, laughed, and punched him in the face, knocking AJ down with a terrible thud. AJ's head buzzed, he had really no idea where he was at that point, which was pretty bad news considering the giant was bearing down on him with the full force of his sword. AJ willed himself to throw his body to one side and, with great protestation it managed it. Just in the nick of time, as AJ heard a thwack of the sword going past his head and missing him by an inch. He heard a voice from above him.
“Ser, remember, he's too good.” Came Ashbury's voice, urgently. “Make him angry”
AJ rolled his eyes behind his visor and managed to struggle to his feet as Brontar managed to get the sword out of the earth, apparently he hit it so hard it got stuck in the ground. As you do. AJ picked up his sword, throwing his shield to the side as he thought of possibilities. He started circling the giant while talking.
“So,” He began. “Your mom, I heard.....” He was cut off by having to dodge a swinging blow. “OK, how about you look like a....” Another dodge, this time very close, A J let out a small whistle as it went past him by the width of an ant's left antennae. Clearly those insults weren't working, so AJ thought of a plan B – if you can't make them mad then why not make them a friend? AJ backed up a little, catching his breath, with his sword still out in a guard position, just in case. He held his other hand up in a conciliatory gesture.
“You and I obviously are very well matched,” he began, then shrugged. “Well, you may well be more matched than I am, and I'm ok with that.” He smiled behind his visor, a pointless gesture, as he had his whole face covered by metal, but he did it anyway. “Tell me, do you watch Thrones?” He asked, in a very nice manner, he thought. I mean who wouldn't want to talk about Game of Thrones he thought? Clearly, he was correct, as a small grunt of acknowledgement came from the other side.
“Ah! Excellent!” He began, “Have you seen this week's episode yet?”
Another grunt came from the other side, Brontar clearly not attacking because a conversation about Game of Thrones is clearly a good topic to get onto, even in the midst of a grand melee final. This grunt sounded negative though, like a no. AJ, however, his head trapped in a metal case that meant sounds were kinda muffled thought it might have been a yes. He said the immortal line that would finally tip Brontar over the edge and come at him in such a violently furious frenzy that AJ would finally have his opening, albeit rather by accident.
“Wasn't Dani killing all the Khals and taking over the Khalasar, then Jon Snow agreeing to go and attack Winterfell with the Wildlings just totally awesome?”
Of course, if you, as the reader not seen this episode yet? I'm sorry. I will try to hide it for you, but I am making no promises. You'll just have to lump it and not go in a rage like Brontar did. To this end, Brontar, as predicted, lost his form, AJ was easily able to dodge his blow and sneak in behind his guard and take him out with a well placed sword to the throat. (Obviously it would be a killing blow in the real world, but AJ stopped just short and asked Brontar to yield. To his credit, he yielded with no fuss and calmed down considerably after AJ apologised for the spoiler.)
AJ held his arm out in an unmistakable gesture of friendship, which Brontar duly took and helped him to his feet as the assembled crowd cheered and applauded, while the trumpets blared in the background, signalling the end of the contest. AJ slapped Brontar on the back and took off his helmet, Brontar doing the same.
“I knew what you were doing, trying to rile me up.” Said Brontar, smiling. “I just kept trying to shut you up, you persistent little shit. How'd you know Thrones would do it?”
AJ simply smiled at this and changed the subject, not really wanting to admit it was an accident.
“I have a proposition for you.” He began. “I'm in need of a good swordsman for my party. I have something coming up soon, a huge adventure and I will need some hardy souls for it. There will be plenty of coin and ale in it for you.”
“Aye?” Brontar seemed intrigued. “Who else is with you?”
AJ thought for a moment, not wanting to say what he was going to say, but having to say it anyway. “Well, we have Amy, of course with her majestic bow, Puny Elfling does what he can, bless him and..” He hesitated, noticing the growl coming from Brontar.
“No.” He said in disbelief.
AJ cringed. Then nodded. “Yes, we have Sir Slashalot on the party as well.”
Brontar spit.
“Why not Ashbury?”
AJ shrugged,
“Ashbury doesn't want to be adventuring these days, he wants to only advise. He says it's something to do with taking an arrow to the knee.”
“And you decided to ask me, despite knowing about my past with Slashalot?”
“Well, yes – it was a long time ago and I'm sure he...” AJ was cut off by a hand in his face from Brontar.
“Do not say it Jenson. I do not want to hear it.”
Brontar chewed his lip for a moment while looking around, they had walked to the feasting tent by now and the sounds of drinking, merriment and a hog roast crackling filled their ears and the smells delighted their nostrils. Brontar turned back to AJ.
“What is the job anyway? Not that I'm saying I'm in yet, I just want to know what I'll be getting myself into.”
AJ sat down on a bench and grabbed a mug of ale, waiting for Brontar to join him before he continued.
“Have you ever heard of the lost city of Shone?” He said in a hushed voice. Brontar nodded in affirmation. “We found it, not so long ago.” He had to stop Brontar from looking too excited by placating him with a calm down gesture and hissing for him to be quiet. Once Brontar was quiet enough, he continued. “We visited the mages there, they gave us a quest. The whole enclave wants us to bring them tales of victory in hand to hand combat as well as the gift of gold.”
Brontar nodded again while listening.
“Why don't you just tell them the stories of today and, well, not being funny but you have all the money in the world. You can actually give them gold anything.”
AJ grimaced at this, as he did whenever anyone brought up the fact he was super rich.
“That's not what they are suggesting. As you know, I can best everyone with a number of weapons.”
Brontar coughed and looked at him, eyebrows raised.
“OK,” AJ laughed “I can best most people. What I have yet to do is win any hand to hand competitions. I have yet to test myself against the very best in combat sports.”
Brontar shrugged, shaking his head. “So what are you saying? You want to do MMA?”
AJ frowned at this suggestion. “No, not MMA. That's not the very best, you are limited in weight class and gender. No I am talking UCI.”
“UCI?” Brontar laughed “That new wrestling place in Chicago? How do you know they're the best, AJ?”
AJ showed Brontar the roster on his iPad. Brontar whistled.
“OK, so they're the best. What do you need me for?”
“Protection mainly. When things happen I don't want to be cheated, you know? Besides, when we go to Shone again, I want you there. We need 5 people to open the portal to Shone and, well, Ashbury doesn't want to be there.”
The idea of going to Shone filled Brontar with great thoughts, dreams of riches and magic beyond all of his imagination. Even enough for him to consider being on the same team as Slashalot and not want to smash his thick head up against a wall constantly until the screams ended. He sighed, then took a swig of his ale. Making his mind up.
“You have yourself a deal, my Lord. I will protect the party on your behalf. I apologise in advance for what I may do to Slashalot though.”
AJ gave him a stern look. “I would expect you to act professionally,” he scolded. “I don't mind you not liking each other, but you do need to work together.” He continued the stare. Brontar shied away from his gaze.
“Promise me.” AJ said
Brontar mumbled
“Promise me.” AJ repeated, a little more sternly.
“Oh alright then,” Brontar gave in, eventually. “I promise to protect all of you and ensure that I don't fight with Slashalot until the adventure is over.”
They shook hands. AJ then swiped on his iPad to the next part of the UCI app he had open, this was the card for Overload.
“Overload eh?” Commented Brontar. “Stupid name for a show.”
AJ scowled at him, not wanting to let Brontar know he named it.
“So, we have this tournament to name the first ever UCI champion. A perfect opportunity. Win this tournament and I am sure this will be enough gold and glory to impress the mages.” He said, while flicking through the bios of each of the members of the roster in the tournament.
“You know anything about these 3?” Brontar asked, pointing at Demarcus Jordan, Occulo and Aurora. “You need to know your opponent in order to beat them. This is how you beat me, you knew my weakness was anger. You knew that my weakness was Game of Thrones and you were cunning enough to use it against me.
“Quite, quite,” AJ hurried on. “I know Occulo, I have faced him before. The others, not so much.”
AJ leant forwards and grabbed a satchel, sitting on the floor near his feet. He pulled out a massive book from the satchel, which had a stylised M inscribed on it. He opened the book at the index and started searching.
“What's this?” Asked Brontar.
“This, my friend, is the Macebook. It contains an in depth analysis of each and every competitor that I have come up against or am likely to come up against. I have now started to fill in entries for UCI fighters.”
Brontar looked a mixture of impressed and puzzled. “Am I in there?” He asked, naturally. As every time someone says something has names of everyone he needs to know about, the person who hears this instantly for some unfathomable reason decides they want to know what they said about them. Maybe it's vanity, maybe curiosity? Who knows? AJ wasn't about to tell him though and ignored the question. He flicked to Occulo's profile.
The profile page was laid out in almost the exact same way as a Dungeons and Dragons character sheet. It had the name of the person, a little picture attached to the side, a detailed breakdown of strengths and weaknesses along with motivtions, physical and mental stats and a hugely convoluted list of skills and secondary skills, some of which have very little to do with wrestling and an awful lot to do with cooking. On the comments, AJ has hastily scribbled in on some entries whether or not he'd like to LARP with them in the future, what class they'd be and how friendly they could be with him.
Occulo's profile read a little something like this:
Occulo:
From Washington, presumably American?
STR ?? 17 presumptive
DEX ?? 17 presumptive
CON ?? 15 presumpti
WIS ?? 14 presumptive
INT ?? 15 presumptive
CHA ?? 5 presumptive
Occulo is a little bit known. He has crossed our path before, but since his time off he may have levelled up. Possible secret agent, potentially martial artisty, completely lawful neutral. Occulo needs to be kept at bay, otherwise his brawling style and martial arts may be too good to pin down.
Could work with him in the future, he seems to be a friend of Bonnie. Bonnie is cool. Government ties, may have father issues.
Class: Monk, lawful, good?
“A bit sparse on Occulo, don't you think?” Said Brontar.
“Indeed, I am researching all this as we go along. UCI has not officially had any matches yet so it is difficult to establish accurate reports. This is based on previous dealings with him. All I know is he is dangerous. If I am to be victorious in this match, I would need to want to win it more than he. The man has a drive and a desire to succeed, maybe he's wanting to atone for his father, maybe he wants to generally prove to this universe he is great, maybe he's trying to find himself and this whole thing is an excuse for him to beat some people up while he does? Who knows? All I know is this guy went to a whole different universe at one point and came back, like a digital universe. If that doesn't say tenacious I don't know what does. He's extremely talented and, quite honestly he scares me.”
“A man who is willing to kill his father for the greater good is a risky man to be dealing with, my Lord.”
“The man who can kill his father for a cause is a man who cannot be easily distracted or tricked. He is focussed and is dangerous for this reason. Too much focus can also lead to detriment as you can miss the big picture. It is difficult to distract him through simple means but maybe if we ensure his ire is focussed on one of the other competitors it can be done. Or if I can somehow disable him early on in the bout and concentrate on the other two it can work. He needs to be crowd controlled basically. You know, like a boss.”
“Which boss?”
“Shabad the magnificent, if you remember him.”
“The one with the leg?”
“That one, yes. If I keep him away, I have a chance.”
“OK.”
AJ flips the page of his book, dust flying out of the mighty tome as if it has no business being there and has just been evicted by a rather pissed off landlord. He lands on the profile of Aurora.
“This lady,” he began. “I really don't know how to take her.”
“What do you mean?”
The profile of Aurora, again had her picture in the corner. A note next to her name is scribbled “not Chelsea”
From San Diego, American again (there are lots of them here)
STR ?? 12 presumptive
DEX ?? 17 presumptive
CON ?? 11 presumpti
WIS ?? 14 presumptive
INT ?? 15 presumptive
CHA ?? 15 presumptive
Quick, agile, cunning? Totally unknown, completely not Chelsea. Can use small frame to get in and out quickly, ambush tactics. Also can fit into storage bins, must check lockers. Maximum damage when sneaking up and getting away, vulnerable to prolonged attacks due to low HP and XP. Pressure, don't let her get away.
Class: Thief/Rogue. Neutral Neutral.
“As you can see, this person is brand new to the sport so is a relative unknown.” AJ explained. “However, knowing what I know about her, she is quick, smart, agile and has all the tools to be a master thief or rogue. Her gameplan is likely to get in, get out, quick strikes and hope she doesn't get hit too hard.”
“Maybe, that sounds like a good plan at least.”
“Indeed, wait until your opponent is distracted by another, attack fast and hard, take them out quickly before they even know it. Sound tactics. However,” AJ pointed to his temple, “she has her friend with her, she'll be desperate to impress and may be prone to the odd bout of flashiness. She may well come in hard and fast at one point and misjudge exactly where she's going and burn, crashing to the floor like Nomar the Destroyer.”
“Ah, Nomar, what a glorious bastard he was. I heard he ran at you like a crazed wildling, completely not realising you had a shield of protection on you just to appeal to a maiden?”
AJ laughed, more to himself than anything.
“Indeed he did. I see a potential for Aurora to do a Nomar if she feels that Chelsea is disapproving in some way. I also fear she is fragile both in body and spirit. However, let us not discount her, she has all the tools to be a fearsome foe. I want to make sure she's always under pressure and not able to do her damage. More so than the final opponent I have.”
“Ah,” said Brontar,” looking at the final profile on Macebook. He was looking at an entry for DeMarcus Jordan. This entry looked much more sparse than the others. It sure enough had his name, his profile picture and that he was from Atlanta. However, the rest of the entry was as follows:
STR ??
DEX ??
CON ??
WIS ??
INT ??
CHA ??
Harmless
“That's it?” Asked Brontar, eyebrows raised and looking at AJ incredulously.
“Yes, unless you know anything about him?” AJ asked hopefully.
“I know that he has a lot to prove, he had a tough childhood. Foster homes and abandonment make you one of two things.” Explained Brontar. “Either he is completely messed up emotionally and can no longer function correctly as a person, resisting and resenting the world at large, or he grew to be a tough skinned, dangerous kind of person who has resolve and much anger waiting to be unleashed upon someone. The fact is, you cannot just discount this kid because he could be one of the most dangerous people you may face.”
“How so?” Asked AJ
“Think about it, if you have nothing, nobody and absolutely no fear. You also have nothing to lose and will be willing to do anything to achieve your goals. Desperate and driven men tend to be dangerous men. They also tend to be unpredictable and willing to do anything to their body just to take you out.”
AJ thought for a moment. “Like Alf the deranged? The mad wizard king who lost all his family in that accident with the pigs? He went off the deep end a little and tried to summon his pigs back as like zombies.”
“A bit, yes, imagine that – but with fists.”
AJ shuddered a little bit, then rummaged in his rucksack again, picking up a quill and ink pot. He scribbled something in the entry. Brontar looked at it and shrugged.
“There.” AJ said, after putting his ink and quill back in the bag. “Mostly harmless.”
Brontar slapped AJ on the back, roaring with laughter. “Mostly harmless indeed, Lord Jenson. I shall now take my leave. I will see you in Kem on Saturday and we can journey to the land of Chicago together.”
AJ nodded in agreement and stood up to shake Brontar's hand.
“Well met Brontar. Welcome to the League of Larpers. With your sword, we shall surely prevail against the mightiest of foes beginning this Sunday eve. When the final bell has sounded, I shall be holding the dice of victory after hitting each one of these valiant opponents with a Critical Hit. I am sorry to the competitors, I really am. This will not be personal, it's just how the dice roll.”
