The Completly Sexy Feedback Post of Bolas de Arana

I looked over your most recent RP, and while I'm not as qualified to critique as some of the other fine folks on here I am still a champion, and I suppose that gives my opinion some form of credibility, but let's get on with it.

Now, first of all, i really liked the RP, the Bolas character is a treat to read, and the shoot was well written, it did feel a little like you were going trough a checklist, but that is perfectly natural in this kind of multi-man match, but if you're able, making it feel more flowing is always good, it kinda felt like every emote by Bolas was the end of one shoot and the start of another, totally separate shoot.

Now this last part is where I really have something to suggest because here I intended to review your CD, or Character Development, but this RP lacked any CD, which I think will catch up to you eventually, as the judges will start getting tired of very similar shoots with no story in between, and you'll probably get tired of writing them.

I'd suggest that you read a couple RPs from people around the fed, and see how they mix CD and shoot, it could also help you extend the length of your RP (Don't get me wrong, 1.2k isn't problematically short, but you certainly have room to add whatever you desire)

Again, good RP, I'm just focusing on where you can improve, because it's the kind of feedback I prefer to get.

I think you're on the right track, as far as progress goes.

Your promo style is a little different than a lot of us are used to, although I think it's refreshing. The use of graphics is unusual, but plays well in the overall context. I like how you're getting deeper into what's going on in Bolas' head, without distracting from the shoot -- which is always very good. Definitely not easy when you're starting in a new fed and you don't know a lot of characters or have history with them.

All in all, I personally like how the character is developing. Also digging the Deadpool vibe. Keep doing you, man, because it's working.