Post by Alex Richards on Oct 3, 2016 8:12:38 GMT -6
The world famous leader of the Guardians, The Polar Phantasm grins as he spots the uniquely Alex Richards vehicle, the Strange Rover.
Polar Phantasm: I knew having Nicola Tesla install a tracking device in that thing would pay off.
Polar knocks on the door. No answer. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his secret weapon.. an air horn. He grins devilishly
Polar Phantasm: I was hoping I could put this to use. That oughta wake him up.
Polar fires off the air horn and for his efforts is greeted by a loud crash. He spins around just in time to see a children's playhouse come tumbling from the strongest branch of the tallest tree. The playhouse pinwheels several times before finally shattering leaving the unconscious Alex Richards in a heap on the ground. Polar looks worried for a second. Then he notices Alex is snoring. He walks over to him and shoots off the air horn again. This time it causes Alex to jump to his feet. Then look around confused.
Alex Richards: I heard the alarm so I rolled over to get five more minutes.. I guess my tree house wanted five more minutes too because it rolled over and fell out of the tree. And I figured while I was falling I needed more sleep so I caught a few more Z's.
Polar Phantasm: Why exactly were you in that thing in a tree anyways?
Alex Richards: Always wanted a tree house when I was a kid. Never any trees in my backyard. Last night after about 15 boots of Zim-Quila I saw that beauty and figured fuck it.. I'll have one now! I dragged it to the park and climbed as far up the biggest tree I could until I passed out. It was the only smart thing I could have done after drinking that much.
Polar Phantasm: How was the tree house a smart idea?
Alex looks disappointed.
Alex Richards: I thought you would have figured that out boss.
Polar thinks for a second then smiles.
Polar Phantasm: You knew you were going to fall out of the tree and probably land on your head. That way you would be able to blame your headache on the fall.
Alex Richards: Fucking A I did! Instant hangover cure!
Polar Phantasm: But what I was really wondering is.. why would you be in that tree.. because there are no trees.
Alex looks absolutely stunned. He looks around at the forested park in amazement.
Alex Richards: You're right.. Wow.. was I ever drunk last night. I've passed this park dozens of times. All the trees were burnt down in that riot. Wait... what happened?
Polar Phantasm: The Comedian happened. He fixed it.. he fixed Chicago.
A huge grin breaks out across Alex's face.
Alex Richards: So David Sanchez isn't the mayor anymore?
Polar Phantasm: He is not.
Alex Richards: My city has no longer been destroyed by rioters, looters, thieves, the yakuza, gangs..
Polar Phantasm: No. Well no more than usual.
Alex Richards: How did you know about all of this?
Polar Phantasm: He told Bonnie and I he was fixing things up so we could leave Chicago.
Alex Richards: The hell! Why didn't I get an invite? Jesus fuck it's just like when I was in Pantheon.. was I there for any of the big decisions.. no, I just got to do the heavy lifting..
Polar Phantasm: Chill out Alex. Relax. He's my God, he probably just knew you were already ready to pass out.
Alex Richards: Well he's not my God.. he's an asshole!
Polar reaches out and slaps Alex.
Alex Richards: The hell man!
Polar shrugs.
Polar Phantasm: He's my god. He makes me do stuff. I would have done it anyways though ya big idiot. What's the big idea thinking you're being left out? Where you there the day Omega left to save the world?
Alex Richards: Yeah.
Polar Phantasm: And weren't you front and center for the roast? The time we took on the Yakuza? That night we took on the video game world?
Alex Richards: Yeah.. you right. The whole fact I'm facing Jayson Price.. is just bringing back memories from when I was in Pantheon. Pissing me off.
Polar Phantasm: Don't blame you there. That can upset anyone. I should know I was a founding member after all.
Alex Richards: The Comedian isn't an asshole. But your God still doesn't beat the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Polar Phantasm: He bet he could create one hell of a story about him though..
Suddenly something dawns on Alex. He bolts towards the Strange Rover..
Alex Richards: It's back! C'mon Polar! I got to see this! We got to see this! Drinks are on me!
Polar Phantasm: Drinks are always free for Guardians anyways. Team rules. Hey..
Alex excitedly grabs Polar's arm racing towards the Rover. Polar probably curious as to what the big man is so amped up for decides to follow. The Strange Rover speeds along at a good rate. Too good of a rate actually. A Chicago Police Officer motions for them to pull over. Alex turns to Polar.
Alex Richards: I knew things couldn't have changed too much. We're still getting hassled by corrupt cops.
Polar Phantasm: Either that.. or the problem is you're only going 120 in a school zone.
Alex Richards: School zone? Damnit I wish you didn't tell me that. Now I can't hit the nitrous and lose them.
Alex pulls the Strange Rover over and the State trooper approaches his car.
Alex Richards: So what do you think they are going to nail us for? Claim the Strange Rover isn't road legal? Claim we're still drunk or high?
Polar Phantasm: If the Rover didn't have an auto pilot they might have a case there.
Alex Richards: Gotta keep our levels up. Maybe they will blame us for some mugging or some robbery or assault that was committed today. Think we can get Bonnie or Andre to break us out of jail?
Polar Phantasm: Relax Alex, I'm telling you, The Comedian fixed Chicago. It's back to normal.
The officer makes his way over to the Rover and..
Officer: License and Registration please.
Alex goes into the glovebox and pulls out a fortunately empty beer helmet, a live rabbit, a map of France, and finally his license and registration.
Officer: Okay this seems to be in order. You know why I pulled you over, right?
Alex Richards: Driving while being a Guardian?
Officer: No, I'm a big fan of the Guardians. I also think your truck is bad ass. But you were going 80 over the speed limit. I'm going to knock it down to 40 though so I don't have to impound your vehicle. If you let me take a picture with you guys. The guys at the station aren't going to believe it.
Alex and Polar get out of the car and each of them take a picture with the officer who hands Alex a ticket before he goes.
Officer: Now slow down you hear!
Alex Richards: Wait... cops like us now?
Polar Phantasm: You did just get a 500 dollar speeding tickets.
Alex Richards: I got bigger fines then that back in the old days.
Polar Phantasm: Yeah you right. The Guardians have a slush fund to pay for fines.. in part because of you.
Alex Richards: At least I made my mark.
Polar shakes his head. He doesn't really care because the Phantasm is loaded anyway. By loaded of course we mean has money. It's a Guardians promo, you actually need to clarify whether we're referring to money or chemical enhancement.
Alex Richards: This is truly a strange new world. But it'll all be worth it if...
Alex pulls the Strange Rover back into gear and drives off albeit slower this time. But he can't contain his excitement as he pulls the Rover into an old, familiar place..
Alex Richards: Could it be? It just might be.. wait for it Polar! Drinks are on me as we enter.... THE SLOSHED PIT!
The off terrain vehicle skids to a disappointed stop. Alex and Polar get out, the big man being unable to mask his despair.
Alex Richards: It's... it's... still gone?
Polar Phantasm: You still have the Drunken Dragon, man. Did you really need a second bar anyways?
Alex Richards: I guess not. But you know.. you always remember your first..
Most people would of course say this about their first love, first fuck, first.. probably anything except for a bar. Polar however being well acclimated to the ways of the strange understands.
Polar Phantasm: But you know it's better this way anyways. If The Comedian brought back the Sloshed Pit would it be true every time you drink there would thinking of how Taylor Wright burned it to the ground last time?
Alex Richards: Yeah.. you right. I didn't come to the Sloshed Pit to drink and be angry. I would be disgracing it's memory if I did that.
Polar Phantasm: Besides.. look what's here now..
Polar gestures to the open grassy field that has replaced what was once the Sloshed Pit. There have been flowers planted, a garden really. The kind of garden that certainly would have taken more then a few days to grow but then again, the Comedian doesn't grow things he creates them. Including several flowers that have never been seen before in Chicago. There is a pathway, leading to a large granite monument In memory of those who lost their lives in the Chicago Riots of 2016, then a list of names. Alex smiles as a young girl approaches, and lays a bouquet of roses at the memorial. Looking for a minute then walking away.
Alex Richards: This is better then the Sloshed Pit anyways.
Polar Phantasm: I was hoping you would say that. A Guardian sees the big picture, sees the greater good. The minute all you think about is just some selfish need you become like David Sanchez, like Taylor Wright. Then you're not a Guardian.. you're a new Syndicate.. a new evil.
Alex Richards: That's not me Polar. Your God, and by extension you, you create worlds, you open up new realities. That ain't me either. I'm not a creator of worlds, what I am is a destroyer of tyrants. Bonnie and Andre have destroyed their fair share of tyrants too.. Bonnie putting Wendy on ice, and Andre declaring war on the Yakuza. I destroyed Taylor Wright, and embarrassed the Syndicate. Taylor promised his leader David Sanchez he was going to gain ownership of the Sloshed Pit. But he failed when he not only lost a bar brawl for ownership but lost the bar brawl by giving up. He had to burn down the Sloshed Pit to save face. And not only did the Guardians make sure I got a bigger, and better bar.
Polar Phantasm: With 100 percent less rats by the way.
Alex Richards: The Sloshed Pit didn't have any rats...
Polar Phantasm: Sure it didn't...
Alex Richards: But in addition to that I kicked the crap out of him again twice more. In a steel cage match and on the streets. I finished off Taylor Wright to the point where David Sanchez had no more use for him. Then David Sanchez came after me and almost immediately realized his mistake. He saw what I did to his second in command. And he ran.. he ran so far away..
Polar Phantasm: Hey now.. Bonnie and I already did the Flock of Seagulls.
Alex Richards: Anyways he ran all the way to Philly trying to get away from me. He saw the way I destroyed Wright and knew I was going to do the same to him. So he bolted, bolted and never came back before I could get my revenge.
Polar Phantasm: You did get your revenge though. You proved to the world that Sanchez wasn't a real leader. That the Guardians were right all long. That Sanchez didn't care about Chicago, didn't care about his Syndicate. He only cared about himself. And now his whole movement.. has been erased.
Polar shrugs.
Polar Phantasm: It was a Guardian thing.
Alex Richards: Speaking of Guardian things this is Chicago... this is a memorial... there is an empty parking lot... it's football season.. we are going to have the tailgate party to end all tailgate parties in memory of the Chicago riots! First we get a ton of booze, a literal ton of booze! Booze enough to crush someone! Then we get Vaseline. And we don't invite Jack Schlongson. That would make people uncomfortable. Especially Andre. We get two swimming pools... big fucking swimming pools! We don't fill them both with water though. First one... pure lighter fluid. You jump off the diving board for the first pool swim to the other side. Climb out.. enter the second pool.. jump on the diving board... while your buddy blow torches you! You dive into the pool of water this immortalizing Chicago forever with the Festival of the Human Torch!
Alex looks at Cam Bankston for several seconds, okay almost a minute, then finally sighs.
Alex Richards: Yeah... I know. Not a great idea. I just miss the adventure you know. The excitement. With Chicago having calmed down there's nothing left to do there, no one needs our help.
Cam laughs.
Polar Phantasm: You're a Guardian. You never know when the next adventure is coming. But you know.. there is a mission for you. You destroy tyrants, right? You're facing one this week.
Alex Richards: You used to be in Pantheon with Jayson Price...
Polar Phantasm: No. Jayson Price was in Pantheon with me. That's a difference. I gave my all to that group. Jayson Price was just there to leech off of us. When you think Pantheon... you might think the Phantasm, you definitely think Corey Black. You think Steve Orbit. But do you think Jayson Price? I don't think so. He used Pantheon now he's using his position as general manager of the UCI to benefit himself again? Has he wrestled a single match in the UCI? Has he done anything to earn a title shot? If he wins the title, what's the next worst thing he can do?
Alex looks determined.
Alex Richards: We're not going to find out. Because I'm going to stop him almost before he started. His first match in the UCI, his first title shot, it's gonna be his last. We waited before destroying Sanchez and his ilk. And they took over and nearly ruined Chicago. I'm not going to make that mistake again. I'm going to destroy Price before he can do his damage. Before he can reveal his end game.
Polar smiles and begins to walk away. His job as the leader of the Guardians done.. at least for now.
Alex Richards: Just to warn you though.. when I finish off Jayson Price.. we are so doing that stunt.
Polar Phantasm: I was hoping you would say that. Even if it's just a little adventure... Guardians live for that shit.
Alex Richards: Fuck yeah we do! And if riding a space dragon didn't get us BBQED what's a little fire gonna do to us?
The lights go on into the Drunken Dragon... The giant search lights from the ceiling turn on as well. The bar is bathed in a array of bright, near blinding levels of light. You see a projection screen floating across the room. Suddenly a feminine laugh is heard, and then the more high pitched voice of Alexa Richards calls out to Shaun Zach Richards who is sitting on a bar stool watching the incredible floating screen.
Alexa Richards: Can you see me Zach?
SZR: No, but I like it better that way.
Shaun's pants suddenly drop and Alexa lets out a large girlish gale of laughter.
SZR: Now I remember why I don't like it better when you're invisible.
Alexa lets out a sigh of relief. Then Zach shakes up a bottle of beer and lets it fly in the direction of the noise. Alex Richards returns to viability now covered in beer and beer foam. He sets down the screen and licks at some of the beer on his arm. Then takes another lick before grinning.
Alex Richards: It's a Trappist beer from the Netherlands. Zundert I do believe.
SZR: How the hell did you figure that out?
Alex Richards: Lots of practice drinking. I can teach you the ways Zach.
SZR: My liver wouldn't survive that.
Alex Richards: Just as well always in need of a D.D. Anyways. Had to make sure I still had my powers, losing those would have sucked. Thank god that didn't change. You wouldn't believe how often the ability to disappear has gotten me out a jam. Or into a jam. Well fuck it it's something to do either way and I would have been pissed if that went away. Besides how else could I have peeped on girls without them knowing...
Another female voice shrieks in response to that.
Rebecca Thatch: Alexander Anthony Richards! Why are you still peeping on girls when you have a girlfriend.
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: You were the girl I was peeping on.
Rebecca reaches out with her pimp cane shotgun, until she feels a large, bulky figure, then whacks him on what she hopes is the shoulder.
Rebecca Thatch: You could have just asked! Besides, if you case haven't noticed I'm blind! You could have peeped on me without going invisible!
Alex Richards: What would be the fun of that? Besides I was roleplaying.
Rebecca Thatch: You were writing trash talk on the internet?
Alex Richards: Different kind of roleplaying. And wasn't my middle name Theodore last time?
Rebecca Thatch: You told me that was wrong. So I'm going to keep guessing until I get it right.
Alex Richards: Besides of course I was gonna go invisible to peep on you. Just taking advantage of the fact you're blind to stare at you nude is a scumbag move. Anyone can do that. Going invisible.. now that's much more classy. That's something only the Archduke can do.
SZR: What how is that....
Rebecca Thatch: I see your point.
SZR: He has no point!
Alex Richards: Sure, I do. I want to peep. Becky wants me to peep.
SZR: You guys are weird.
Rebecca Thatch: But if you let me know you're there I'll put on more of a show.
Alex Richards: Duly noted.
SZR: You guys are definitely weird.
Alex Richards: I didn't gather you guys here to make weird sex jokes. That's just an added bonus. I gathered you here to one, show you a movie. Two, apologize for showing you such a crappy movie and three, rub it in to Jayson Price that I actually have friends and family who actually enjoy spending time with me.
SZR: Who are these people?
Alex Richards: Damnit, Zach you're totally ruining my point.
Rebecca Thatch: No he isn't. He obviously said that in a jesting manner.
SZR: I was hoping to at least claim I was serious.
Alex Richards: Right now I'm hanging out with my brother Zach, and my beautiful girlfriend Becky. Earlier today the Polar Phantasm went out of his way to show me the new and improved Chicago. Last week Nightmare volunteered to sit at ringside with Becky for my match. Later on in the same show Andre Holmes, myself, and the rest of the Guardians helped Bonnie Blue make sure Wentworthless didn't escape justice. They all all helped me save my girlfriend from the Yakuza. I could go on and go. I have a lot of great memories with the Guardians. But here's my point. I have real friends. I have people I like and people who like me. Then there's Jayson Price. Who exactly does Jayson Price have? His cameraman Stu and Bob. Who are literally only there because he pays them? I always had friends in wrestling Jayson, the Pack, members of Pantheon, but you... you.. you've always been.. well you've always just been a dick.
Alex laughs.
Alex Richards: I remember hearing that rumor that Gravedigger pissed in your IV bag when you were in that coma. We all knew it wasn't really true of course.. but we hoped it was. Because that's the kind of guy you are Jayson Price. The kind of guy that old saying I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire was created for.
Alex stops laughing, stops smiling, and gets serious.
Alex Richards: I always has friends in wrestling. Like I said... like the Pack. And three members of the Pack we all joined Pantheon together. Jay Omega, Chelsea Armstrong, and myself. A few weeks back Jayson Price called me out in the ring, he said he was proud of me, he said he recruited me into Pantheon. Remember what I said? I said there was no way I would have ever thought Jayson Price would be congratulating me on winning a world title. Sounds like I was either being humble or being funny don't it? But really I wasn't being either, I was being truthful. You see Jayson, I do remember joining Pantheon.. and I remember you had nothing to do with it. Not only that.. you were against me joining Pantheon, and against my friends joining as well. Roll tape!
The projection screens comes to life and shows footage courtesy another federation, the WCF, the home of Pantheon. The Wording Slam 313 comes across the screen as we are treated to highlights of the return of Pantheon.
Corey Black: And this is why it is now my job to rebuild Earth's Mightiest Wrestling Stable. I looked at this roster we had and had to pick who would be the next crop of greats. It wasn't easy. I didn't ask many. In fact, I wasn't turned down at all. That says a whole lot about their faith in me and in themselves. This is exactly what I look for in members of Pantheon. They may not be the very best right now, but in a short time, you will not be able to have a WCF main event without a member of Pantheon in it. Just as it was, so it will be. Allow me to introduce you to the first member of the resurrected Pantheon - no it isn't BioWalker- it's JAYSON. PRICE.
A collective gasp comes over the crowd as Jayson Price steps out onto the stage. He walks down to the ring, up the steps and then steps through the ropes to a handshake from Corey Black.
Jayson Price: Now it's no secret that Corey and I have our issues with each other. We've had a mutual dislike for each other since I started here in WCF and with our personalities it's likely that he and I will be trading jabs until one of us retires or dies. But, as much as I hate this son of a bitch, I still respect him.
Black nods his head in approval.
Jayson Price: Now don't get all sappy, it's just a tiny bit of respect. I still think you're all elbows and flippy shit and that you're one Pricebuster away from needing a nurse to change you, grandpa.
No more nodding in approval, Black is now pointing to his elbow and telling Price he could knock him out right now. Price smiles and continues on.
Jayson Price: But the respect that I have for Corey Black is based on the knowledge of this business that he has. He's been doing this since the Millennium, almost exclusively for WCF except for that brief period in IWF that nobody wants to remember, and if there is anyone that can spot talent it's him. After all, if it wasn't for Corey Black, there would never have been a Jayson Price in Pantheon. There would have never been Jayson Price versus Jonny Fly at XIII and no World Title reign for me.
Clip
Corey Black: While it wasn't my favorite thing ever, the battles Jayson and I shared fortified this team. We know where we stand, we know each other better, and we can lead the new members of Pantheon with level heads. Well, hopefully level heads. Now for the meat and potatoes of this whole mess. The next member of Pantheon is - don't call him Cory because that's my name, it's The Scarecrow!
Another gasp from the crowd, then cheering. Out from the back comes relative newcomer The Scarecrow, an extra little pep in his step. He slides on into the ring and accepts the microphone from Corey Black. Jayson Price smiles and claps along his approval.
CLIP
Suddenly, Corey Black is cut off by "Cynics & Critics" by Icon for Hire! The crowd pops and then kinda fades into confusion as spotlights hit stairways in the audience, standing at a different part of the arena is Chelsea Armstrong, Jay Omega and Alex Richards - collectively known as The Pack. Inside the ring, the members of Pantheon sort of huddle up as The Pack make their way down to the ring, hopping the barricade and standing up onto the apron. Jayson Price breaks from the huddle only to be held by the wrist by Corey Black, who pulls him back in. Scarecrow steps to the side in case a foot is about to fly to Jayson's head - it isn't. A microphone flies to Corey Black's mouth.
Corey Black: Allow me to introduce you to the rest of Pantheon - Armstrong, Richards and Omega - The Pack...theon!
Massive pop the likes have never been heard, outdoing the one from earlier. The Pack, now Pantheon, all step into the ring and shake hands with Corey and Crow, but each member is dissed by Price. Corey walks over and puts a hand on Jayson's shoulder, whispering something into is ear as he passes the microphone to Chelsea.
CLIP
Corey Black: Here you have an already built team, and you're adding it in to Pantheon. To say these three aren't ready to break the glass ceiling and take over the main event is an understatement. The performances week in and week out speak for themselves. They know each other almost as well as I know Price, a well oiled machine capable of getting the job done in any combination you can put them in. Alone, tag, six man and woman, it doesn't matter. The heart and soul of Pantheon will be these three individuals. Jayson, Crow and I are the odd men out, oddly enough - but in due time it'll be a smooth six person wrecking crew. In theory, The Pack simply evolved. The next level has been achieved - they, along with Jayson Price, The Scarecrow and myself - are Pantheon.
Stewing the entire time and now angered, Jayson Price drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring as the "Mysterious Pantheon Theme" plays across the arena. The five members of Pantheon inside the ring soak in the cheers from the crowd. Corey Black can be seen mouthing 'he will be okay' to everyone in the ring, stopping at Chelsea and conversing with her just a but longer considering the history the three share. Nevertheless, Pantheon has reformed - potentially stronger than ever.
The screen fades to black as Alex Richards paces in front of it getting more and more agitated, more and more fired up.
Alex Richards: You didn't bring us into Pantheon Price. You were full of shit! You didn't want me.. you didn't want Chelsea.. you didn't want Jay Omega either! That's why I challenged you to the very same match Chelsea Armstrong did to try and gain your approval, try and prove her worth in Pantheon. That's why I want to face you in a Taipei Cage of Death match. The Blue Lady made a mistake. She thought your approval was worth something. I won't make that mistake. You came into that version of Pantheon as a bitter, old drunk who saw three people in front of him, three people who were about to be more famous then him. Were more talented then him, were better than him. So of course he didn't want us around. Now I get the chance to fix the wrong I committed all those years ago.
SZR: I don't recall you doing anything to Jayson around that time period.
Alex Richards: Yeah Zach, that was the wrong! When that match was over I should have gotten into that cage and beaten Jayson Price senseless, okay more senseless then normal. Because here's the thing, when it came to the Pack if you went after one of us you went after all of us. When it comes to the Guardians now the same thing holds true. That's why Bonnie took up Jay Omega's beef with Wentworth when the Omega Man went off into space. That's how I got involved in the feud with David Sanchez. He starts taking shots at my leader, the Phantasm, damn right I'm going to make sure the numbers game of his followers didn't allow Sanchez a cheap victory. But this one time.. I didn't. Probably because we were supposed to be teammates in Pantheon. You're not supposed to attack your teammates. You're supposed to be a team. At the time I put it aside after that match. We all pretended everything was good. But the fact remained, you didn't really respect any of us did you?
Alex pauses for a beat, composing himself.
Alex Richards: You know.. that version was Pantheon was doomed from the start because we had one member, who was only take for himself. Only there because Pantheon was known as the world's mightiest stable. Only there to take. And everyone knew it, that's why the minute Pantheon got back together Corey Black didn't trust you. That's probably why he teamed up with two guy from outside of Pantheon in the king of trios. He didn't trust you to get things done for him and the third teammates. And he was right wasn't he? I remember that because I was on your team. You made it all about you. You didn't worry about winning as long as everyone was talking about Jayson Price. Now isn't that right? Not only was it right then.. it's right to this very day isn't it?
Alex thinks for a minute, trying to figure out how to compose his words.
Alex Richards: You got yourself a job as the general manager of the UCI. Most former wrestlers would be satisfied with this. Most would be content. I mean, I have to give you credit, you came up with one hell of a super show. A show so great they needed two days instead of just one. But not you. No, for the great Jayson Price it wasn't enough to be the general manager! It isn't enough to hold an epic show. He has to try and be the center of attention once again. You tried to make Pantheon all about you by insulting the former members of the Pack. Now you're doing the same thing. The UCI isn't about washed up former wrestlers trying to relive their glory days Price! You had to put yourself in your own main event, for the world championship. You say it's best for business...
Alex uses his loud, deep voice to empathize things.
Alex Richards: NO! IT'S BEST FOR ONE THING.. YOUR OWN FUCKING EGO! I WANTED TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE, WANTED TO HOPE YOU HAD CHANGED. I should have fucking known better. Jayson Price doesn't care about what's best for business.. all Jayson Price cares about is being in the spotlight all the damn time whether he deserves it or not. And how did he justify it? Calls me a disgrace to the world championship! If anyone knows anything about disgraces to the world title I guess it should be you, right Mister Two Week Title Reign?
Alex smiles slightly.
Alex Richards: That's it isn't it? You don't want anyone who was once aligned with you, Someone you would have considered a lesser teammates to have more success then you. That's it isn't it? You won the world title for the first time in 2012 and held it for two weeks. It took you almost 4 years to win the world title again. This time you held it for almost a month. Then you see me, a former member of the team you would have considered yours, one of the guys who once super kicked you into a coma, you see that guy in less then a year since I joined Pantheon, win the world championship. You felt threatened didn't you? There's this guy who debuted years after you did. Who is already going to be remembered as a greater champion, a greater wrestler then you are. You couldn't handle that could you, Jayson? That's why you named yourself the challenger at Nightmare on South Street. But then you tipped your hand, then you showed everyone the truth.
Alex Richards: Last week at Rite of Passage you did exactly what I knew you were going to do. Shadowlove spent a month trying to get me to put the world title on the line. I said he didn't earn the shot but listen to everything I said. I never said no, I never once said I wasn't going to defend the title against him. Because putting the title on the line and defeating him. That's the end game. That's what was going to finally shut him up and get revenge for my girl. Guy like Shadowlove he honestly believed I was afraid to defend against him. But that's not the interesting part. The interesting part was when Jayson Price jumped at the chance to sanction that world title match. And what happened during the world title match? It basically became a three on one match. Shadowlove, and Miyamoto.. and guess who? Jayson Price. Against one man, Alex Richards. You thought you would take the easy way out and help a weaker challenger win the world title. Because no one would ever believe Shadowlove would make a better world champion then I am. Because let's be real. This isn't about what's best for business. This is about the same fucking thing it's always about for you Price. It's about what's best for Jayson Price. With all your resources, you couldn't help Shadowlove win the world championship against me. Now what?
Alex Richards: I'll tell you what. Now you're locked inside of a cage, fists covered in glass, standing across the ring from the world champion. You're going to say you have the advantage. You're going to say you've won this match before. I don't give a fuck about any of that. For me, this is about changing the past. Not in the way the Guardians normally do it but that's alright. I shouldn't have waited in the WCF. The minute you said we weren't worthy of Pantheon I should have taken you out. Maybe I could have saved Pantheon. Maybe Pantheon would still be alive if we took the cancer out instantly instead of letting it fester, letting it grow. But I can do it this time. I can take you out before you grow in power, before you prove all my words true. You win this match, the UCI will suffer. The UCI will die with you as champion. I won't let the UCI die. This time I'm going to take care of business. This time I'm not going to give a second chance. You showed red when you fought my mentor Chelsea when you were supposed to be teammates. You did it again when you challenged me for the world title, when you doubted my abilities. I won't make the same mistake again. This time Price I'll show you what you are really worth.
Alex Richards: This is the third time we fought Jayson. I won the first match on Slam. You defeated me on Wednesday in an internet title falls count anywhere match. During your King Internet days. Does it bother you Jayson? You beat me in that internet title match. Yet the people don't remember you as the greatest internet champion of all time. There is a debate but it's between myself and Z-Mac. You were the undefeated internet champion yet people still thought I was better then you. Makes me wonder. How much of this world title match is about that? How much of this match is about you feeling jealous that the people would dare to think another was greater than you? You're going to hate the result of this match Jayson. You done fucked up. Before the match at least you had a legit gripe. After we fight for the world title everyone who thought I was the greatest internet champion of all time will have one more point to argue. You beat me in 2014 Price, 2016 Alex Richards is a whole different animal. That guy was not a world champion. That guy was a young wrestler trying to learn his way, barely winning more than he lost. This guy is a legit bad ass who beats fucking everyone. 12 out of my last 14 matches have been victories! Every top challenger in the UCI has resulted in a victory for the Archduke. Who have you been wrestling lately, Price? And you want to get in the ring with the hottest wrestlers in this sport? As always the fact you're so full of yourself is going to bite you in the ass.
Alex Richards: Now I'm fighting you in the scene of our of your greatest victories. When you became Mister Every Title once again by winning the cruiserweight championship. Because you don't deserve it. You don't deserve to look fondly upon that match and think of it as the night you beat Chelsea Armstrong to win the cruiserweight title. So I'm going to change it into your own personal nightmare. You will always remember the Taipei Cage of Death match as the night your active career finally came to a close. The night you tried and failed to win the world title for the last time. The night you finally got your comeuppance for doubting my worth. This is your show Jayson Price, but I'm in control of the nightmare. And it's one nightmare you will never, ever forget..
The Scene seemingly is about to fade out when new head bartender Scott, a bald bouncer looking guy not the type who looks like a big thinker to be frank, taps Alex on the shoulder.
Scott: What the fuck is this, boss?
Scott points to the far corner of the bar where this is a large, black mysterious, ominious looking vending machine.
Scott: No one told me there was gonna be a delivery. No one came to deliver that. It wasn't here this morning. It's here now.
Rebecca Thatch: You're new aren't you?
Scott: What's it to you?
Alex Richards: Weird shit always just kind of happened when I was around.. now that I'm a Guardian even more weird shit happens.
Alex goes over to explore the machine.
SZR: I would be careful with that if I was you.
Rebecca Thatch: Push the button and see what comes out.
Alex Richards: Ladies' choice.
SZR: Liar. You would have done that anyways.
Alex Richards: Yeah but now I get brownie points from my girlfriend too. It's good to be the Archduke.
Shaun looks at the machine, then grins relieved.
SZR: It only takes Yen. Why would we have any Yen?
Alex Richards: I got tons of Yen. It was one of the back up plans I was going to use against Shadowlove.. You see.. ah hell I'll tell the story later I want snack food.
Alex puts in his yen and hits the vend button. Now most vending machines would selections you can make. This one.. you see nothing and just press a giant red button. Out the bottom of the machine a box that looks like a McDonald's box but written in a language no one has ever seen before appears. Along with a note. Which Alex reads aloud.
Alex Richards: From my mind to your reality. This is the world famous pan dimensional vending machine. Consider this the first of many new adventures. Signed, The Comedian.
Alex grins broadly opening up the box and immediately a purple tenacle wraps around his throat choking him. Alex tosses the box against the wall.. then stomps it over and over. He picks up the box, dips a finger in and..
SZR: Don't you even think about..
Alex tastes it. Of course he does. It's Alex Richards.. he's never met a buffet he didn't like. Never met a vending machine he didn't like. Apparently even with questionable food inside.
Alex Richards: Not bad.. not bad at all. I think I'm going to like this machine.
Rebecca Thatch: You know.. I am feeling kind of hungry..
SZR: You guys are nuts.
Fade to Black
Polar Phantasm: I knew having Nicola Tesla install a tracking device in that thing would pay off.
Polar knocks on the door. No answer. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his secret weapon.. an air horn. He grins devilishly
Polar Phantasm: I was hoping I could put this to use. That oughta wake him up.
Polar fires off the air horn and for his efforts is greeted by a loud crash. He spins around just in time to see a children's playhouse come tumbling from the strongest branch of the tallest tree. The playhouse pinwheels several times before finally shattering leaving the unconscious Alex Richards in a heap on the ground. Polar looks worried for a second. Then he notices Alex is snoring. He walks over to him and shoots off the air horn again. This time it causes Alex to jump to his feet. Then look around confused.
Alex Richards: I heard the alarm so I rolled over to get five more minutes.. I guess my tree house wanted five more minutes too because it rolled over and fell out of the tree. And I figured while I was falling I needed more sleep so I caught a few more Z's.
Polar Phantasm: Why exactly were you in that thing in a tree anyways?
Alex Richards: Always wanted a tree house when I was a kid. Never any trees in my backyard. Last night after about 15 boots of Zim-Quila I saw that beauty and figured fuck it.. I'll have one now! I dragged it to the park and climbed as far up the biggest tree I could until I passed out. It was the only smart thing I could have done after drinking that much.
Polar Phantasm: How was the tree house a smart idea?
Alex looks disappointed.
Alex Richards: I thought you would have figured that out boss.
Polar thinks for a second then smiles.
Polar Phantasm: You knew you were going to fall out of the tree and probably land on your head. That way you would be able to blame your headache on the fall.
Alex Richards: Fucking A I did! Instant hangover cure!
Polar Phantasm: But what I was really wondering is.. why would you be in that tree.. because there are no trees.
Alex looks absolutely stunned. He looks around at the forested park in amazement.
Alex Richards: You're right.. Wow.. was I ever drunk last night. I've passed this park dozens of times. All the trees were burnt down in that riot. Wait... what happened?
Polar Phantasm: The Comedian happened. He fixed it.. he fixed Chicago.
A huge grin breaks out across Alex's face.
Alex Richards: So David Sanchez isn't the mayor anymore?
Polar Phantasm: He is not.
Alex Richards: My city has no longer been destroyed by rioters, looters, thieves, the yakuza, gangs..
Polar Phantasm: No. Well no more than usual.
Alex Richards: How did you know about all of this?
Polar Phantasm: He told Bonnie and I he was fixing things up so we could leave Chicago.
Alex Richards: The hell! Why didn't I get an invite? Jesus fuck it's just like when I was in Pantheon.. was I there for any of the big decisions.. no, I just got to do the heavy lifting..
Polar Phantasm: Chill out Alex. Relax. He's my God, he probably just knew you were already ready to pass out.
Alex Richards: Well he's not my God.. he's an asshole!
Polar reaches out and slaps Alex.
Alex Richards: The hell man!
Polar shrugs.
Polar Phantasm: He's my god. He makes me do stuff. I would have done it anyways though ya big idiot. What's the big idea thinking you're being left out? Where you there the day Omega left to save the world?
Alex Richards: Yeah.
Polar Phantasm: And weren't you front and center for the roast? The time we took on the Yakuza? That night we took on the video game world?
Alex Richards: Yeah.. you right. The whole fact I'm facing Jayson Price.. is just bringing back memories from when I was in Pantheon. Pissing me off.
Polar Phantasm: Don't blame you there. That can upset anyone. I should know I was a founding member after all.
Alex Richards: The Comedian isn't an asshole. But your God still doesn't beat the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Polar Phantasm: He bet he could create one hell of a story about him though..
Suddenly something dawns on Alex. He bolts towards the Strange Rover..
Alex Richards: It's back! C'mon Polar! I got to see this! We got to see this! Drinks are on me!
Polar Phantasm: Drinks are always free for Guardians anyways. Team rules. Hey..
Alex excitedly grabs Polar's arm racing towards the Rover. Polar probably curious as to what the big man is so amped up for decides to follow. The Strange Rover speeds along at a good rate. Too good of a rate actually. A Chicago Police Officer motions for them to pull over. Alex turns to Polar.
Alex Richards: I knew things couldn't have changed too much. We're still getting hassled by corrupt cops.
Polar Phantasm: Either that.. or the problem is you're only going 120 in a school zone.
Alex Richards: School zone? Damnit I wish you didn't tell me that. Now I can't hit the nitrous and lose them.
Alex pulls the Strange Rover over and the State trooper approaches his car.
Alex Richards: So what do you think they are going to nail us for? Claim the Strange Rover isn't road legal? Claim we're still drunk or high?
Polar Phantasm: If the Rover didn't have an auto pilot they might have a case there.
Alex Richards: Gotta keep our levels up. Maybe they will blame us for some mugging or some robbery or assault that was committed today. Think we can get Bonnie or Andre to break us out of jail?
Polar Phantasm: Relax Alex, I'm telling you, The Comedian fixed Chicago. It's back to normal.
The officer makes his way over to the Rover and..
Officer: License and Registration please.
Alex goes into the glovebox and pulls out a fortunately empty beer helmet, a live rabbit, a map of France, and finally his license and registration.
Officer: Okay this seems to be in order. You know why I pulled you over, right?
Alex Richards: Driving while being a Guardian?
Officer: No, I'm a big fan of the Guardians. I also think your truck is bad ass. But you were going 80 over the speed limit. I'm going to knock it down to 40 though so I don't have to impound your vehicle. If you let me take a picture with you guys. The guys at the station aren't going to believe it.
Alex and Polar get out of the car and each of them take a picture with the officer who hands Alex a ticket before he goes.
Officer: Now slow down you hear!
Alex Richards: Wait... cops like us now?
Polar Phantasm: You did just get a 500 dollar speeding tickets.
Alex Richards: I got bigger fines then that back in the old days.
Polar Phantasm: Yeah you right. The Guardians have a slush fund to pay for fines.. in part because of you.
Alex Richards: At least I made my mark.
Polar shakes his head. He doesn't really care because the Phantasm is loaded anyway. By loaded of course we mean has money. It's a Guardians promo, you actually need to clarify whether we're referring to money or chemical enhancement.
Alex Richards: This is truly a strange new world. But it'll all be worth it if...
Alex pulls the Strange Rover back into gear and drives off albeit slower this time. But he can't contain his excitement as he pulls the Rover into an old, familiar place..
Alex Richards: Could it be? It just might be.. wait for it Polar! Drinks are on me as we enter.... THE SLOSHED PIT!
The off terrain vehicle skids to a disappointed stop. Alex and Polar get out, the big man being unable to mask his despair.
Alex Richards: It's... it's... still gone?
Polar Phantasm: You still have the Drunken Dragon, man. Did you really need a second bar anyways?
Alex Richards: I guess not. But you know.. you always remember your first..
Most people would of course say this about their first love, first fuck, first.. probably anything except for a bar. Polar however being well acclimated to the ways of the strange understands.
Polar Phantasm: But you know it's better this way anyways. If The Comedian brought back the Sloshed Pit would it be true every time you drink there would thinking of how Taylor Wright burned it to the ground last time?
Alex Richards: Yeah.. you right. I didn't come to the Sloshed Pit to drink and be angry. I would be disgracing it's memory if I did that.
Polar Phantasm: Besides.. look what's here now..
Polar gestures to the open grassy field that has replaced what was once the Sloshed Pit. There have been flowers planted, a garden really. The kind of garden that certainly would have taken more then a few days to grow but then again, the Comedian doesn't grow things he creates them. Including several flowers that have never been seen before in Chicago. There is a pathway, leading to a large granite monument In memory of those who lost their lives in the Chicago Riots of 2016, then a list of names. Alex smiles as a young girl approaches, and lays a bouquet of roses at the memorial. Looking for a minute then walking away.
Alex Richards: This is better then the Sloshed Pit anyways.
Polar Phantasm: I was hoping you would say that. A Guardian sees the big picture, sees the greater good. The minute all you think about is just some selfish need you become like David Sanchez, like Taylor Wright. Then you're not a Guardian.. you're a new Syndicate.. a new evil.
Alex Richards: That's not me Polar. Your God, and by extension you, you create worlds, you open up new realities. That ain't me either. I'm not a creator of worlds, what I am is a destroyer of tyrants. Bonnie and Andre have destroyed their fair share of tyrants too.. Bonnie putting Wendy on ice, and Andre declaring war on the Yakuza. I destroyed Taylor Wright, and embarrassed the Syndicate. Taylor promised his leader David Sanchez he was going to gain ownership of the Sloshed Pit. But he failed when he not only lost a bar brawl for ownership but lost the bar brawl by giving up. He had to burn down the Sloshed Pit to save face. And not only did the Guardians make sure I got a bigger, and better bar.
Polar Phantasm: With 100 percent less rats by the way.
Alex Richards: The Sloshed Pit didn't have any rats...
Polar Phantasm: Sure it didn't...
Alex Richards: But in addition to that I kicked the crap out of him again twice more. In a steel cage match and on the streets. I finished off Taylor Wright to the point where David Sanchez had no more use for him. Then David Sanchez came after me and almost immediately realized his mistake. He saw what I did to his second in command. And he ran.. he ran so far away..
Polar Phantasm: Hey now.. Bonnie and I already did the Flock of Seagulls.
Alex Richards: Anyways he ran all the way to Philly trying to get away from me. He saw the way I destroyed Wright and knew I was going to do the same to him. So he bolted, bolted and never came back before I could get my revenge.
Polar Phantasm: You did get your revenge though. You proved to the world that Sanchez wasn't a real leader. That the Guardians were right all long. That Sanchez didn't care about Chicago, didn't care about his Syndicate. He only cared about himself. And now his whole movement.. has been erased.
Polar shrugs.
Polar Phantasm: It was a Guardian thing.
Alex Richards: Speaking of Guardian things this is Chicago... this is a memorial... there is an empty parking lot... it's football season.. we are going to have the tailgate party to end all tailgate parties in memory of the Chicago riots! First we get a ton of booze, a literal ton of booze! Booze enough to crush someone! Then we get Vaseline. And we don't invite Jack Schlongson. That would make people uncomfortable. Especially Andre. We get two swimming pools... big fucking swimming pools! We don't fill them both with water though. First one... pure lighter fluid. You jump off the diving board for the first pool swim to the other side. Climb out.. enter the second pool.. jump on the diving board... while your buddy blow torches you! You dive into the pool of water this immortalizing Chicago forever with the Festival of the Human Torch!
Alex looks at Cam Bankston for several seconds, okay almost a minute, then finally sighs.
Alex Richards: Yeah... I know. Not a great idea. I just miss the adventure you know. The excitement. With Chicago having calmed down there's nothing left to do there, no one needs our help.
Cam laughs.
Polar Phantasm: You're a Guardian. You never know when the next adventure is coming. But you know.. there is a mission for you. You destroy tyrants, right? You're facing one this week.
Alex Richards: You used to be in Pantheon with Jayson Price...
Polar Phantasm: No. Jayson Price was in Pantheon with me. That's a difference. I gave my all to that group. Jayson Price was just there to leech off of us. When you think Pantheon... you might think the Phantasm, you definitely think Corey Black. You think Steve Orbit. But do you think Jayson Price? I don't think so. He used Pantheon now he's using his position as general manager of the UCI to benefit himself again? Has he wrestled a single match in the UCI? Has he done anything to earn a title shot? If he wins the title, what's the next worst thing he can do?
Alex looks determined.
Alex Richards: We're not going to find out. Because I'm going to stop him almost before he started. His first match in the UCI, his first title shot, it's gonna be his last. We waited before destroying Sanchez and his ilk. And they took over and nearly ruined Chicago. I'm not going to make that mistake again. I'm going to destroy Price before he can do his damage. Before he can reveal his end game.
Polar smiles and begins to walk away. His job as the leader of the Guardians done.. at least for now.
Alex Richards: Just to warn you though.. when I finish off Jayson Price.. we are so doing that stunt.
Polar Phantasm: I was hoping you would say that. Even if it's just a little adventure... Guardians live for that shit.
Alex Richards: Fuck yeah we do! And if riding a space dragon didn't get us BBQED what's a little fire gonna do to us?
The lights go on into the Drunken Dragon... The giant search lights from the ceiling turn on as well. The bar is bathed in a array of bright, near blinding levels of light. You see a projection screen floating across the room. Suddenly a feminine laugh is heard, and then the more high pitched voice of Alexa Richards calls out to Shaun Zach Richards who is sitting on a bar stool watching the incredible floating screen.
Alexa Richards: Can you see me Zach?
SZR: No, but I like it better that way.
Shaun's pants suddenly drop and Alexa lets out a large girlish gale of laughter.
SZR: Now I remember why I don't like it better when you're invisible.
Alexa lets out a sigh of relief. Then Zach shakes up a bottle of beer and lets it fly in the direction of the noise. Alex Richards returns to viability now covered in beer and beer foam. He sets down the screen and licks at some of the beer on his arm. Then takes another lick before grinning.
Alex Richards: It's a Trappist beer from the Netherlands. Zundert I do believe.
SZR: How the hell did you figure that out?
Alex Richards: Lots of practice drinking. I can teach you the ways Zach.
SZR: My liver wouldn't survive that.
Alex Richards: Just as well always in need of a D.D. Anyways. Had to make sure I still had my powers, losing those would have sucked. Thank god that didn't change. You wouldn't believe how often the ability to disappear has gotten me out a jam. Or into a jam. Well fuck it it's something to do either way and I would have been pissed if that went away. Besides how else could I have peeped on girls without them knowing...
Another female voice shrieks in response to that.
Rebecca Thatch: Alexander Anthony Richards! Why are you still peeping on girls when you have a girlfriend.
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: You were the girl I was peeping on.
Rebecca reaches out with her pimp cane shotgun, until she feels a large, bulky figure, then whacks him on what she hopes is the shoulder.
Rebecca Thatch: You could have just asked! Besides, if you case haven't noticed I'm blind! You could have peeped on me without going invisible!
Alex Richards: What would be the fun of that? Besides I was roleplaying.
Rebecca Thatch: You were writing trash talk on the internet?
Alex Richards: Different kind of roleplaying. And wasn't my middle name Theodore last time?
Rebecca Thatch: You told me that was wrong. So I'm going to keep guessing until I get it right.
Alex Richards: Besides of course I was gonna go invisible to peep on you. Just taking advantage of the fact you're blind to stare at you nude is a scumbag move. Anyone can do that. Going invisible.. now that's much more classy. That's something only the Archduke can do.
SZR: What how is that....
Rebecca Thatch: I see your point.
SZR: He has no point!
Alex Richards: Sure, I do. I want to peep. Becky wants me to peep.
SZR: You guys are weird.
Rebecca Thatch: But if you let me know you're there I'll put on more of a show.
Alex Richards: Duly noted.
SZR: You guys are definitely weird.
Alex Richards: I didn't gather you guys here to make weird sex jokes. That's just an added bonus. I gathered you here to one, show you a movie. Two, apologize for showing you such a crappy movie and three, rub it in to Jayson Price that I actually have friends and family who actually enjoy spending time with me.
SZR: Who are these people?
Alex Richards: Damnit, Zach you're totally ruining my point.
Rebecca Thatch: No he isn't. He obviously said that in a jesting manner.
SZR: I was hoping to at least claim I was serious.
Alex Richards: Right now I'm hanging out with my brother Zach, and my beautiful girlfriend Becky. Earlier today the Polar Phantasm went out of his way to show me the new and improved Chicago. Last week Nightmare volunteered to sit at ringside with Becky for my match. Later on in the same show Andre Holmes, myself, and the rest of the Guardians helped Bonnie Blue make sure Wentworthless didn't escape justice. They all all helped me save my girlfriend from the Yakuza. I could go on and go. I have a lot of great memories with the Guardians. But here's my point. I have real friends. I have people I like and people who like me. Then there's Jayson Price. Who exactly does Jayson Price have? His cameraman Stu and Bob. Who are literally only there because he pays them? I always had friends in wrestling Jayson, the Pack, members of Pantheon, but you... you.. you've always been.. well you've always just been a dick.
Alex laughs.
Alex Richards: I remember hearing that rumor that Gravedigger pissed in your IV bag when you were in that coma. We all knew it wasn't really true of course.. but we hoped it was. Because that's the kind of guy you are Jayson Price. The kind of guy that old saying I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire was created for.
Alex stops laughing, stops smiling, and gets serious.
Alex Richards: I always has friends in wrestling. Like I said... like the Pack. And three members of the Pack we all joined Pantheon together. Jay Omega, Chelsea Armstrong, and myself. A few weeks back Jayson Price called me out in the ring, he said he was proud of me, he said he recruited me into Pantheon. Remember what I said? I said there was no way I would have ever thought Jayson Price would be congratulating me on winning a world title. Sounds like I was either being humble or being funny don't it? But really I wasn't being either, I was being truthful. You see Jayson, I do remember joining Pantheon.. and I remember you had nothing to do with it. Not only that.. you were against me joining Pantheon, and against my friends joining as well. Roll tape!
The projection screens comes to life and shows footage courtesy another federation, the WCF, the home of Pantheon. The Wording Slam 313 comes across the screen as we are treated to highlights of the return of Pantheon.
Corey Black: And this is why it is now my job to rebuild Earth's Mightiest Wrestling Stable. I looked at this roster we had and had to pick who would be the next crop of greats. It wasn't easy. I didn't ask many. In fact, I wasn't turned down at all. That says a whole lot about their faith in me and in themselves. This is exactly what I look for in members of Pantheon. They may not be the very best right now, but in a short time, you will not be able to have a WCF main event without a member of Pantheon in it. Just as it was, so it will be. Allow me to introduce you to the first member of the resurrected Pantheon - no it isn't BioWalker- it's JAYSON. PRICE.
A collective gasp comes over the crowd as Jayson Price steps out onto the stage. He walks down to the ring, up the steps and then steps through the ropes to a handshake from Corey Black.
Jayson Price: Now it's no secret that Corey and I have our issues with each other. We've had a mutual dislike for each other since I started here in WCF and with our personalities it's likely that he and I will be trading jabs until one of us retires or dies. But, as much as I hate this son of a bitch, I still respect him.
Black nods his head in approval.
Jayson Price: Now don't get all sappy, it's just a tiny bit of respect. I still think you're all elbows and flippy shit and that you're one Pricebuster away from needing a nurse to change you, grandpa.
No more nodding in approval, Black is now pointing to his elbow and telling Price he could knock him out right now. Price smiles and continues on.
Jayson Price: But the respect that I have for Corey Black is based on the knowledge of this business that he has. He's been doing this since the Millennium, almost exclusively for WCF except for that brief period in IWF that nobody wants to remember, and if there is anyone that can spot talent it's him. After all, if it wasn't for Corey Black, there would never have been a Jayson Price in Pantheon. There would have never been Jayson Price versus Jonny Fly at XIII and no World Title reign for me.
Clip
Corey Black: While it wasn't my favorite thing ever, the battles Jayson and I shared fortified this team. We know where we stand, we know each other better, and we can lead the new members of Pantheon with level heads. Well, hopefully level heads. Now for the meat and potatoes of this whole mess. The next member of Pantheon is - don't call him Cory because that's my name, it's The Scarecrow!
Another gasp from the crowd, then cheering. Out from the back comes relative newcomer The Scarecrow, an extra little pep in his step. He slides on into the ring and accepts the microphone from Corey Black. Jayson Price smiles and claps along his approval.
CLIP
Suddenly, Corey Black is cut off by "Cynics & Critics" by Icon for Hire! The crowd pops and then kinda fades into confusion as spotlights hit stairways in the audience, standing at a different part of the arena is Chelsea Armstrong, Jay Omega and Alex Richards - collectively known as The Pack. Inside the ring, the members of Pantheon sort of huddle up as The Pack make their way down to the ring, hopping the barricade and standing up onto the apron. Jayson Price breaks from the huddle only to be held by the wrist by Corey Black, who pulls him back in. Scarecrow steps to the side in case a foot is about to fly to Jayson's head - it isn't. A microphone flies to Corey Black's mouth.
Corey Black: Allow me to introduce you to the rest of Pantheon - Armstrong, Richards and Omega - The Pack...theon!
Massive pop the likes have never been heard, outdoing the one from earlier. The Pack, now Pantheon, all step into the ring and shake hands with Corey and Crow, but each member is dissed by Price. Corey walks over and puts a hand on Jayson's shoulder, whispering something into is ear as he passes the microphone to Chelsea.
CLIP
Corey Black: Here you have an already built team, and you're adding it in to Pantheon. To say these three aren't ready to break the glass ceiling and take over the main event is an understatement. The performances week in and week out speak for themselves. They know each other almost as well as I know Price, a well oiled machine capable of getting the job done in any combination you can put them in. Alone, tag, six man and woman, it doesn't matter. The heart and soul of Pantheon will be these three individuals. Jayson, Crow and I are the odd men out, oddly enough - but in due time it'll be a smooth six person wrecking crew. In theory, The Pack simply evolved. The next level has been achieved - they, along with Jayson Price, The Scarecrow and myself - are Pantheon.
Stewing the entire time and now angered, Jayson Price drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring as the "Mysterious Pantheon Theme" plays across the arena. The five members of Pantheon inside the ring soak in the cheers from the crowd. Corey Black can be seen mouthing 'he will be okay' to everyone in the ring, stopping at Chelsea and conversing with her just a but longer considering the history the three share. Nevertheless, Pantheon has reformed - potentially stronger than ever.
The screen fades to black as Alex Richards paces in front of it getting more and more agitated, more and more fired up.
Alex Richards: You didn't bring us into Pantheon Price. You were full of shit! You didn't want me.. you didn't want Chelsea.. you didn't want Jay Omega either! That's why I challenged you to the very same match Chelsea Armstrong did to try and gain your approval, try and prove her worth in Pantheon. That's why I want to face you in a Taipei Cage of Death match. The Blue Lady made a mistake. She thought your approval was worth something. I won't make that mistake. You came into that version of Pantheon as a bitter, old drunk who saw three people in front of him, three people who were about to be more famous then him. Were more talented then him, were better than him. So of course he didn't want us around. Now I get the chance to fix the wrong I committed all those years ago.
SZR: I don't recall you doing anything to Jayson around that time period.
Alex Richards: Yeah Zach, that was the wrong! When that match was over I should have gotten into that cage and beaten Jayson Price senseless, okay more senseless then normal. Because here's the thing, when it came to the Pack if you went after one of us you went after all of us. When it comes to the Guardians now the same thing holds true. That's why Bonnie took up Jay Omega's beef with Wentworth when the Omega Man went off into space. That's how I got involved in the feud with David Sanchez. He starts taking shots at my leader, the Phantasm, damn right I'm going to make sure the numbers game of his followers didn't allow Sanchez a cheap victory. But this one time.. I didn't. Probably because we were supposed to be teammates in Pantheon. You're not supposed to attack your teammates. You're supposed to be a team. At the time I put it aside after that match. We all pretended everything was good. But the fact remained, you didn't really respect any of us did you?
Alex pauses for a beat, composing himself.
Alex Richards: You know.. that version was Pantheon was doomed from the start because we had one member, who was only take for himself. Only there because Pantheon was known as the world's mightiest stable. Only there to take. And everyone knew it, that's why the minute Pantheon got back together Corey Black didn't trust you. That's probably why he teamed up with two guy from outside of Pantheon in the king of trios. He didn't trust you to get things done for him and the third teammates. And he was right wasn't he? I remember that because I was on your team. You made it all about you. You didn't worry about winning as long as everyone was talking about Jayson Price. Now isn't that right? Not only was it right then.. it's right to this very day isn't it?
Alex thinks for a minute, trying to figure out how to compose his words.
Alex Richards: You got yourself a job as the general manager of the UCI. Most former wrestlers would be satisfied with this. Most would be content. I mean, I have to give you credit, you came up with one hell of a super show. A show so great they needed two days instead of just one. But not you. No, for the great Jayson Price it wasn't enough to be the general manager! It isn't enough to hold an epic show. He has to try and be the center of attention once again. You tried to make Pantheon all about you by insulting the former members of the Pack. Now you're doing the same thing. The UCI isn't about washed up former wrestlers trying to relive their glory days Price! You had to put yourself in your own main event, for the world championship. You say it's best for business...
Alex uses his loud, deep voice to empathize things.
Alex Richards: NO! IT'S BEST FOR ONE THING.. YOUR OWN FUCKING EGO! I WANTED TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE, WANTED TO HOPE YOU HAD CHANGED. I should have fucking known better. Jayson Price doesn't care about what's best for business.. all Jayson Price cares about is being in the spotlight all the damn time whether he deserves it or not. And how did he justify it? Calls me a disgrace to the world championship! If anyone knows anything about disgraces to the world title I guess it should be you, right Mister Two Week Title Reign?
Alex smiles slightly.
Alex Richards: That's it isn't it? You don't want anyone who was once aligned with you, Someone you would have considered a lesser teammates to have more success then you. That's it isn't it? You won the world title for the first time in 2012 and held it for two weeks. It took you almost 4 years to win the world title again. This time you held it for almost a month. Then you see me, a former member of the team you would have considered yours, one of the guys who once super kicked you into a coma, you see that guy in less then a year since I joined Pantheon, win the world championship. You felt threatened didn't you? There's this guy who debuted years after you did. Who is already going to be remembered as a greater champion, a greater wrestler then you are. You couldn't handle that could you, Jayson? That's why you named yourself the challenger at Nightmare on South Street. But then you tipped your hand, then you showed everyone the truth.
Alex Richards: Last week at Rite of Passage you did exactly what I knew you were going to do. Shadowlove spent a month trying to get me to put the world title on the line. I said he didn't earn the shot but listen to everything I said. I never said no, I never once said I wasn't going to defend the title against him. Because putting the title on the line and defeating him. That's the end game. That's what was going to finally shut him up and get revenge for my girl. Guy like Shadowlove he honestly believed I was afraid to defend against him. But that's not the interesting part. The interesting part was when Jayson Price jumped at the chance to sanction that world title match. And what happened during the world title match? It basically became a three on one match. Shadowlove, and Miyamoto.. and guess who? Jayson Price. Against one man, Alex Richards. You thought you would take the easy way out and help a weaker challenger win the world title. Because no one would ever believe Shadowlove would make a better world champion then I am. Because let's be real. This isn't about what's best for business. This is about the same fucking thing it's always about for you Price. It's about what's best for Jayson Price. With all your resources, you couldn't help Shadowlove win the world championship against me. Now what?
Alex Richards: I'll tell you what. Now you're locked inside of a cage, fists covered in glass, standing across the ring from the world champion. You're going to say you have the advantage. You're going to say you've won this match before. I don't give a fuck about any of that. For me, this is about changing the past. Not in the way the Guardians normally do it but that's alright. I shouldn't have waited in the WCF. The minute you said we weren't worthy of Pantheon I should have taken you out. Maybe I could have saved Pantheon. Maybe Pantheon would still be alive if we took the cancer out instantly instead of letting it fester, letting it grow. But I can do it this time. I can take you out before you grow in power, before you prove all my words true. You win this match, the UCI will suffer. The UCI will die with you as champion. I won't let the UCI die. This time I'm going to take care of business. This time I'm not going to give a second chance. You showed red when you fought my mentor Chelsea when you were supposed to be teammates. You did it again when you challenged me for the world title, when you doubted my abilities. I won't make the same mistake again. This time Price I'll show you what you are really worth.
Alex Richards: This is the third time we fought Jayson. I won the first match on Slam. You defeated me on Wednesday in an internet title falls count anywhere match. During your King Internet days. Does it bother you Jayson? You beat me in that internet title match. Yet the people don't remember you as the greatest internet champion of all time. There is a debate but it's between myself and Z-Mac. You were the undefeated internet champion yet people still thought I was better then you. Makes me wonder. How much of this world title match is about that? How much of this match is about you feeling jealous that the people would dare to think another was greater than you? You're going to hate the result of this match Jayson. You done fucked up. Before the match at least you had a legit gripe. After we fight for the world title everyone who thought I was the greatest internet champion of all time will have one more point to argue. You beat me in 2014 Price, 2016 Alex Richards is a whole different animal. That guy was not a world champion. That guy was a young wrestler trying to learn his way, barely winning more than he lost. This guy is a legit bad ass who beats fucking everyone. 12 out of my last 14 matches have been victories! Every top challenger in the UCI has resulted in a victory for the Archduke. Who have you been wrestling lately, Price? And you want to get in the ring with the hottest wrestlers in this sport? As always the fact you're so full of yourself is going to bite you in the ass.
Alex Richards: Now I'm fighting you in the scene of our of your greatest victories. When you became Mister Every Title once again by winning the cruiserweight championship. Because you don't deserve it. You don't deserve to look fondly upon that match and think of it as the night you beat Chelsea Armstrong to win the cruiserweight title. So I'm going to change it into your own personal nightmare. You will always remember the Taipei Cage of Death match as the night your active career finally came to a close. The night you tried and failed to win the world title for the last time. The night you finally got your comeuppance for doubting my worth. This is your show Jayson Price, but I'm in control of the nightmare. And it's one nightmare you will never, ever forget..
The Scene seemingly is about to fade out when new head bartender Scott, a bald bouncer looking guy not the type who looks like a big thinker to be frank, taps Alex on the shoulder.
Scott: What the fuck is this, boss?
Scott points to the far corner of the bar where this is a large, black mysterious, ominious looking vending machine.
Scott: No one told me there was gonna be a delivery. No one came to deliver that. It wasn't here this morning. It's here now.
Rebecca Thatch: You're new aren't you?
Scott: What's it to you?
Alex Richards: Weird shit always just kind of happened when I was around.. now that I'm a Guardian even more weird shit happens.
Alex goes over to explore the machine.
SZR: I would be careful with that if I was you.
Rebecca Thatch: Push the button and see what comes out.
Alex Richards: Ladies' choice.
SZR: Liar. You would have done that anyways.
Alex Richards: Yeah but now I get brownie points from my girlfriend too. It's good to be the Archduke.
Shaun looks at the machine, then grins relieved.
SZR: It only takes Yen. Why would we have any Yen?
Alex Richards: I got tons of Yen. It was one of the back up plans I was going to use against Shadowlove.. You see.. ah hell I'll tell the story later I want snack food.
Alex puts in his yen and hits the vend button. Now most vending machines would selections you can make. This one.. you see nothing and just press a giant red button. Out the bottom of the machine a box that looks like a McDonald's box but written in a language no one has ever seen before appears. Along with a note. Which Alex reads aloud.
Alex Richards: From my mind to your reality. This is the world famous pan dimensional vending machine. Consider this the first of many new adventures. Signed, The Comedian.
Alex grins broadly opening up the box and immediately a purple tenacle wraps around his throat choking him. Alex tosses the box against the wall.. then stomps it over and over. He picks up the box, dips a finger in and..
SZR: Don't you even think about..
Alex tastes it. Of course he does. It's Alex Richards.. he's never met a buffet he didn't like. Never met a vending machine he didn't like. Apparently even with questionable food inside.
Alex Richards: Not bad.. not bad at all. I think I'm going to like this machine.
Rebecca Thatch: You know.. I am feeling kind of hungry..
SZR: You guys are nuts.
Fade to Black