PerZag
Developmental
Posts: 86 
|
Post by PerZag on Sept 4, 2016 2:43:04 GMT -6
So yeah as the subject says, any feedback would be appreciated. This is a new approach and a new story for my character of PerZag. I hope that the story has come across nicely, but any feedback or suggestions would be great. And if anything written in the story seems rushed, it is probably because it was. Thanks. Also, here's the link just in case. uciwrestling.freeforums.net/thread/1127/story-perzag-beginning |
|
|
|
Post by Spencer Adams on Sept 5, 2016 15:55:57 GMT -6
Really good debut RP here. I think more shoot in future RPs is something to strive for, but your pacing with the CD this week was stellar in my opinion.
|
|
PerZag
Developmental
Posts: 86
|
Post by PerZag on Sept 11, 2016 0:34:20 GMT -6
Really good debut RP here. I think more shoot in future RPs is something to strive for, but your pacing with the CD this week was stellar in my opinion. Thanks for the feedback man, I hope that I have done better in my shooting. Anyhow, here is is. The next issue of The Story of PerZag. uciwrestling.freeforums.net/thread/1169/story-perzag-justice-followSo, yeah, any feedback would be great thank-you. And as I said, I hope I have done what was suggested, decently. I don't know how well the shooting went, but any feedback or suggestions would be great. Thanks. |
|
|
|
Post by Spencer Adams on Sept 12, 2016 11:28:29 GMT -6
Really good debut RP here. I think more shoot in future RPs is something to strive for, but your pacing with the CD this week was stellar in my opinion. Thanks for the feedback man, I hope that I have done better in my shooting. Anyhow, here is is. The next issue of The Story of PerZag. uciwrestling.freeforums.net/thread/1169/story-perzag-justice-followSo, yeah, any feedback would be great thank-you. And as I said, I hope I have done what was suggested, decently. I don't know how well the shooting went, but any feedback or suggestions would be great. Thanks. Much more well rounded than last week. Good job on using the pointer to improve. I think all anyone can really ask of someone is to see that effort to tweak some things here and there to improve their craft and you delivered. Good stuff, man. |
|
PerZag
Developmental
Posts: 86
|
Post by PerZag on Sept 13, 2016 2:06:53 GMT -6
Thanks for the feedback man, I hope that I have done better in my shooting. Anyhow, here is is. The next issue of The Story of PerZag. uciwrestling.freeforums.net/thread/1169/story-perzag-justice-followSo, yeah, any feedback would be great thank-you. And as I said, I hope I have done what was suggested, decently. I don't know how well the shooting went, but any feedback or suggestions would be great. Thanks. Much more well rounded than last week. Good job on using the pointer to improve. I think all anyone can really ask of someone is to see that effort to tweak some things here and there to improve their craft and you delivered. Good stuff, man. Thanks, man. I have always had trouble with my shooting, and once you said that that was where I should aim a bit more on, it helped me think a bit better. I hope the character development was still good, but I thought the shooting was better. Now, I know to focus a lot more on the shooting, especially since it is not my best point in roleplaying. |
|
|
|
Post by Spencer Adams on Sept 13, 2016 8:39:50 GMT -6
Much more well rounded than last week. Good job on using the pointer to improve. I think all anyone can really ask of someone is to see that effort to tweak some things here and there to improve their craft and you delivered. Good stuff, man. Thanks, man. I have always had trouble with my shooting, and once you said that that was where I should aim a bit more on, it helped me think a bit better. I hope the character development was still good, but I thought the shooting was better. Now, I know to focus a lot more on the shooting, especially since it is not my best point in roleplaying. You're doing well with incorporating both. The thing that I find with people who may struggle with shooting is that they don't feel comfortable "tearing people down" whether that be cause it's not them or they just can't write it well. I think the key to shoot and match relevance in general is to make the reader feel like every match to your character is very important overall. |
|
