Post by The Hentai Prince on Aug 28, 2016 15:32:33 GMT -6
Announcer
It is my pleasure to introduce to you, the exciting, energizing, electrifying...HENTAI PRINCE!
Music boomed and bass rattled; a future-funk tune fit for the summer time madness. The walking beat and high powered synth notes were deafening but not as deafening as the cheers that erupted as soon as I stepped out onto the stage of the packed auditorium. Unbelievable. Lights blasted every other direction, colors nonsensically flashing like a small rave. Swallowed up in the explosion of noise, my body - if not my existence - went numb; feeling like I was walking on nothing in my black mid-calf leather boots.
As I walked to the middle of the stage, I had to keep my eyes to the ground to make sure my steps were solid and even. My circular framed sunglasses shook on my face, leaving a weird sensation on the bridge of my nose. Even my white button up shirt and tight black dress pants felt like they were vibrating against my body.
Slow breaths. In, out, in, out. Keep centered. Keep concentrated. This depends on focus...
Reaching the center of the stage, I looked out to the audience and saw a sea of onlookers that stretched up into the darkness towards the back; blocked out by the spotlights shining down on to me. My navy blue cape jacket sat still on my shoulders until I ripped it off and threw it into the air behind me in one swift motion, leaving my arm up, lingering as the jacket fluttered down to the ground; flash photography going off a thousands times a second.
In the beginning of the season, I had been worried by the sensation that I might lose footing or become generally disoriented with all the booming and cheering; but by mid-summer, I had learned how to keep fully aware through the production, the tricks of keeping my cool - as did my beloved Moe Stars who had been following close behind; giving attention to the fans; dancing around me in their synchronized fashion. They were putting on an excellent performance as always...with the exception of Batta…
Biyaku, Bani, and Botan were all so amazing and skilled, not being a moment out of step in their magnificent short style Kimonos. Each having beautifully unique designs matched to their ever-so unique and distinct personalities. Mastering character and posture so well that they couldn’t be any less than believable; selling those outfits like it was the only thing they ever cared to wear.
But Batta...Batta was lost. Not confident in who she was nor who she should ever become. A person just struggling to be self. She knew what she loved but didn’t know enough to love herself.
She was new and had reached out to me over twitter as a fan with infinite enthusiasm, wanting to be a Moe Star; exclaiming that she “would give anything to take part in such an important factor of the anime community…” Something I could understand myself for many reasons. Taking a look through her own cosplaying portfolio, my heart went out to her as she seemed so natural in her craft; character ready with each one of them, seeming like a perfect match with my philosophy of LOVE AND PASSION!
I should preface that I really wanted it to work out; putting in the extra hours to help her memorize the choreography and get her character down. But, it didn’t matter what I did because her problem wasn’t her talent but her mind. She was unsure and it tied and twisted her thoughts into anxiety, second guessing, and confusion. One might say “Baka!” but I can’t think anything but “unfortunate”.
I could only watch as she had hurried onto the stage, sticking out like a sore thumb. The other three were so smooth and alive; no hesitation as they side stepped, spun, and winked towards the crowd; blowing kisses and giving pouts. They weren’t just performing, they WERE the Moe Stars! Being simultaneous, yet owning every movement individually. Biyaku being seductive and knowing; experience radiating off of her in such subtle ways; her devious and cunning smile ready to take control of any situation. If there was anything more fitting than her purple velvet Kimono designed with green threaded smoke and rivers, I couldn’t think of it. Though, the sea green silk organza structured scarf was a cherry on top of the sundae, to be fair.
Then Bani, successfully innocent and earnest; her eyes lighting up at everyone she saw as if there was an inner light in every last one of them that only she could recognize; an open heart and a lack of prejudice that believed in everyone. Could you go with anything but a classic hot pink cotton with hearts and candy shapes organized in a child-like disorder? The calm color warm and bright amongst everything else so dark. Does it seem a bit on the head? Maybe, but sometimes it is so obvious that it has to be done.
Then there is Botan, assertive and confident; ready to prove her worth and continues to live without doubt; her stature strong and straight and alive within herself. The dark blue of her Kimono had a reflective quality in its dull satin with strips of blue sequins down the sides. Understated compared to the other two but it was about the truth in solidarity.
But Batta was unsure. Just unsure. It would have been something if she was supposed to be clumsy; the kind of bubbliness that so many can relate to. People liked the fool, but unfortunately that required more skill than one can imagine. It was the controlled clumsiness that Batta didn’t have. And here everyone was seeing it, unable to ignore it - not loveable or relatable, just awkward; as is such when one doesn’t live in a story.
...Rhythmic hip sway with a hand on the side as they pointed out to the crowd with the other, panning across the room. Then came the slide to the left, slide to the right - Batta being a step behind - and then the spin...Thus came the botch. A culmination of anxiety and worry boiled over and her dark red Mary Janes slipped out from under her, sending her falling to the ground. From the crowd came a collective ‘Oof!’.
The other Moe Stars were quick to hoist her up but the damage was done in multiple ways. Beyond breaking the stream of synchronization (right at the very end too, where they were supposed to pose and bask in success), she also managed to tear her blood red skirt; the dragon that wrapped all around the design of her kimono was torn right at the head. They scurried off as the music died down; the last of the cheers from the crowd spouted off, and I stood up on stage by myself, but my mind was not shaken. I had one shot at clearing the air and it would take a lot of carefully placed energy.
The Hentai Prince
Hello, Chicago!
There was a new, yet short burst from the crowd as they celebrated in hometown love. A cheap pop was a good way to get the morale high and break the ice without too much of an awkward transition. I walked across the stage with a wide gait and one hand on my hip as the other swung with each step, like that of a model travelling down the catwalk.
Usually something like this was a simple event. Most of the time I am brought on to judge (with a couple of my peers) Cosplay Contests or host a special event. It was kind of weird to be on the other side, only recently having discovered this new found micro-fame, but I guess there had been a shortage of celebrities since The Wave. I paused as the audience simmered down again, and then I brought the microphone to my lips.
The Hentai Prince
For those who may not know who I am...I am the idol of perversion, the celebrator of ecchi, the defender of pleasure! I am The Hentai Prince! Your royal heir to all things sensual and forbidden...and tentacles...And those lovely ladies you saw dancing by my side were the amazing Moe Stars! We travel the country, from convention to convention, at the speed of kawaii to spread our philosophy of LOVE AND PASSION!
The Audience
LOVE AND PASSION!
The echoing of the crowd still gave me goosebumps no matter how many times it happened. A few smattering of claps bubbled up but were quickly hushed as I continued on.
The Hentai Prince
Indoctrinating one town after another into the Kingdom of Lewd. We aim to gain acceptance for all our fellow otakus, all our like-minded perverts!
Then came the wooing and hollering! Though, I think it is only fair to say that it wasn’t me they were making all this commotion for. I was the vessel for a power beyond me, of which I was loaned the ability to live vicariously through. They were really cheering for “that Anime thing”...
I glided to the other side of the of the stage.
The Hentai Prince
The Hentai Prince know’s you are tired of hiding who you are! The Hentai Prince knows that feeling of rejection. He sees your hesitant faces; not sure who to reach out to, who to trust. The Hentai Prince sees this and he wants to help you! In our Kingdom of Lewd, all are welcomed! You are not alone! You are not strange and disgusting! You are one of many!
I quickly jumped to front-center stage and slowly squatted down. A hush came over the audience. I continued on in a quieter tone, keeping the crowd down but on the edge of their seat; their attention focused in by the sudden urgency.
The Hentai Prince
Grotesque they call us...
The Audience gasped...dramatic...
A gasps again…more dramatics!
The audience then proceeded to snort; their pig noises neither flattery nor mockery.
The Hentai Prince
But I ask, so what if we like school uniforms with short skirts? So what if we like two dimensional maids, and nurses? So what if some of us are into inconceivable tentacle monsters taking advantage of us? I say to you who judge: It is art It is spirit. It is life. It is...
I stood up straight, stretched both of my arms out, and shouted out…
The Hentai Prince
VIC-TORY!
Audience
VIC-TORY!
I dropped my arms to the side as the room hummed with energy. I let it go for a minute before bring the microphone once again to my lips.
The Hentai Prince
It is so much more to me than pantie shots and jiggly tits, though! My kingdom is about affection! My kingdom is about intensity! What flows through my finger tips is the immense vitality of my beliefs! The electricity of my heart and being! The power of my philosophy of LOVE AND PASSION!
Audience
LOVE AND PASSION!
The Hentai Prince
We are people who believe! When we have a dream, we go at it at full speed without hesitation! The Hentai Prince is not stopped by doubt! He is only powered by it! We are red blooded and alive! No one could have that hunger we possessed as we attempt everything at the same heart pounding energy! If we like something, we love it! If we do something, it is our passion! The Kingdom of Lewd is a population of fiery hearts and bright souls! What we conquer, we conquer in admiration and dedication!
I paused...
The Hentai Prince
With that said, I have an important announcement...With the end of summer just over the horizon, the convention season coming to a close, The Hentai Prince has decided to take a big step into a new world. One that will take every bit of his fiery heart to make it in! A world that is prominent here in Chicago. One that is just as filled with personalities as our beloved anime. It is with great excitement that I announce to you, my fellow otakus, that I, The Hentai Prince, have signed up with United Championship Infinite!
The room instantly went buzzing as the flash photography was unleashed once again but I raised my arms up to hush the commotion.
The Hentai Prince
I know you must have a lot of questions. “Why get into the ring and fight and risk breaking your flawless face?” “Why put your body on the line when the anime community adores you? You aren’t a wrestler, why become one?”...I will not lie, the answer is a complicated one but to put it simply, I would be lying if I said my only passion has been Anime! Gasp! I know! But It would hypocritical of me to say everything I have tonight and then leave this burning question inside of me, never knowing how it would have went...UCI has given me a chance during a time where dreams seem scarce, to find out that very thing! I don’t want you all to worry. This will not be the end of The Hentai Prince! With confidence, I will carve out my place and show the world that Otakus are not sad, out of shape, NEETs that they picture us to be!...Now, join me in stretching out your arms and shouting…
I held out my arms again to return to shouting…
The Hentai Prince
VIC-TORY!
Audience
VIC-TORY!
The Hentai Prince
VIC-TORY!
Audience
VIC-TORY!
The Hentai Prince
VIC-TORY!
Audience
VIC-TORY!
The music came back just as booming as before and Biyaku, Bani, and Botan came out dancing, this time without Batta. This part of the show went on for a while as they not only danced but sang as well. There were a few playfully fun sketches in between which they worked so hard on and even if some of them weren’t funny, they were heart warming at the very least. This was really a point where they could be the stars and get the attention they deserved, for I might have been the brain that brought it all together, they were the real talent of the whole act. I was no slouch, but sometimes I was so envious and wished I had the kind of ability they all had.
Though, as much hard work as we all put into this, it was when the show was over and we had all changed out of our costumes that the hardest thing I ever had to do happened. The four of us were exiting out the back of the building, chatting away, when we saw Batta (off-stage her name was Kate Hendrix) sitting on a bench in her street clothes, twiddling her thumbs as she looked at the ground with a face we were all familiar with. A face of defeat.
Biyaku (real name: Donna Samson) stood in front of me, placed her hand on my shoulder, and looked me dead in the eyes.
Donna Samson
You know what you have to do, Adam. Don’t hesitate for a second. It is going to be hard but we all have to accept the reality here.
Direct eye contact always made me so uncomfortable, even with people I have known for a while now. To avoid it, I looked down to her tight fit Re: Zero Ram t-shirt...I had a Rem counterpart back at my apartment...I sighed.
Adam Kurosawa
Right...The reality…
Donna patted me on the shoulder and smiled.
Donna Samson
You are a good guy, Adam. Don’t let that be your downfall.
She turned back and walked on. Bani (real name: Michelle Ribbons) walked past, slapping me on the back of the head as she usually did and walked on; her oversized, green Himouto! Umaru-chan t-shirt fluttering like a sail in the late-night breeze.
Michelle Ribbons
See ya tomorrow, Hentai Dunce! Hehe.
Botan (real name: Patricia Nichols) walked by with her head low, hidden under the hood of her light jacket which we always teased her about in the summertime heat but she would never take it down when she walked about outside. She gave me a quick, empty glance before walking on without saying anything. They all waved good-bye to Kate as they passed her. She was quick to muster up a smile and wave back, as if for a moment, the pain of embarrassment wasn’t all that bad.
I walked up and sat next to her on the bench, not saying anything for a moment, both just looking to the ground...Kate was the first to speak.
Kate Hendrix
I’m sorry, Adam.
Adam Kurosawa
It’s alright…
Kate Hendrix
If it was alright, you wouldn’t be about to fire me…
I looked up in surprise.
Adam Kurosawa
I…
She slowly lifted her head up and looked me in the eyes, much like Donna. Her face was covered in light red splotches from crying before we had arrived. I averted my gaze off to the side.
Kate Hendrix
Adam, I may be clumsy but I’m not dumb.
Adam Kurosawa
I wasn’t going to say you were…
Kate Hendrix
Adam, look at me…
It took a great amount of willpower but I did look back at her. Her face was calm but it wasn’t hard to see the twitching and shaking behind it of someone trying to hold up while breaking down.
Kate Hendrix
It is not being fired that is gonna hurt me. It is the fact that I wasn’t able to do what was needed to keep myself from being fired.
Adam Kurosawa
I mean, do we have to say fired. It isn’t like we are in the office or that we have an enterprise…
Kate Hendrix
Adam, word choice and vocabulary may make for good character designs, but it is shit at changing how I am going to feel about this. I just want you to say it.
My heart sank, but I won’t make the distinction that it had fallen anywhere close to how far Kate’s heart fell when she slipped on stage. This was never something I wanted to do when I started. In my head, it was going to be the dream of everyone having a great time and any sour moment could quickly be smothered down with our general happiness. But, that thought only mad situations like these unbearably painful…
Adam Kurosawa
K-Kate...you’re fired.
She smiled at me, but there was nothing happy in it.
Kate Hendrix
Thank you, Adam, for the opportunity. Thank you for everything. Good-bye.
That twinge of pain. The abruptness of that good-bye. I didn’t want it to just end like that. It didn’t feel right to end it that abruptly. I wanted to give her words of encouragement, give her something to make her feel better but the words stopped in my throat and I could tell that any persistence to try and cheer her up would just make the situation worst. I stood up and walked away with a sort of emptiness that I had not felt this whole summer.
From there, I headed straight to my newly acquired apartment. Being a member of the UCI roster, I couldn’t afford to fly from Miami to Chicago every week, so it seemed simpler to move up to my new place of business. I was shaking everyday since I made the call…
After fumbling with the keys, I finally unlocked the door and entered, with a gym bag slung over my shoulder, into what was a living space that was more empty than anything. Two chairs, a small table, and an older television that I didn’t think was going to work. And in one of the chairs, watching this Sunday night’s episode of UCI was my little, fourteen year old sister, Tina Kurosawa. My only remaining family after The Wave…
Tina was at school and I was working when our house was destroyed in The Wave. We didn’t know it then but our parents had been home during the attack, it wasn’t until a week later when they found the bodies. I was brought in to identify the bodies and when I saw them cold and pale, that is when I had the violent realization that Tina and I were alone and it was up to me to take care of her. I never cried so hard in my life.
It was rocky at first. I was a panicking mess, we had lost almost everything, and we had nowhere to go. We stayed with a coworker of mine for a little while until I found an apartment for ourselves. I was worried I was going to go grey with the amount of stress I was under. Always running around like a chicken with its head cut off, rambling and ranting about getting this done and that done. If had not been for the money my parents had been saving in our separate accounts, we would have been lost.
But, during all this chaos that was spinning in my head, my sister became quiet. A once energetic girl jumping all over the place, now quiet and blank. I was so scared she would just turn into a statue. I tried everything I could to get that energy back; not wanting her to be broken and without hope at such a young age. She was the reason I joined UCI.
She had never been interested in Anime, often referring to it at “that Anime thing”. She wasn’t mean about, she just never got it; though she was supportive of my work. She was more of a fan of Professional wrestling. We were both fans, but wrestling to her was Anime to me. Anytime we travelled to a new town for a convention, we would spend time trying to figure out if there was a promotion in town and how she could watch. Most of the time she could watch it on the Hotel’s TV, but sometimes I would take her to an actual live show if I was free. And if I was busy judging a contest and The Moe Stars were free, Donna would have no problem taking her for me.
It was our dad that got us into wrestling in the first place and so I think there was a point why she clung onto it so dearly. We used to think our father knew everything there was to know about wrestling with how much he would tell us. He even gave me the money to get trained a couple of years before The Wave. He always told me I had such a talent to entertain people and that I should use it. He told me it would be great for Professional Wrestling and wanted me to give it a try.
I walked up and stood by Tina, watching what was going on as two men were going at it with an impressive amount of aggression. I could feel the faint ache in my knees from picking up training again in the weekdays between convention weekends. I had forgotten how intense it really was. I had kept in physical shape but nothing works your cardio like wrestling…
Adam Kurosawa
Who versus who…
Tina Kurosawa
Howard Black vs. Andre Jenson
Adam Kurosawa
How is it?
Tina Kurosawa
It’s alright. Looks like this place is filled with a lot of tough guys...How was that Anime thing…
Adam Kurosawa
Was alright. I had to fire Kate…
Tina Kurosawa
Aww...I liked her. She was nice.
I turned away and began walking to my room.
Adam Kurosawa
We all did...Hey, once the show is over, I want you to go to bed. No excuses this time.
Tina Kurosawa
Boooo! My brother is already turning into the bad guy!
You should have seen her face when I told her. For the first time in a long time, it lit up! She was so excited that her brother was going to be a Pro-wrestler, something she cared about. I wanted to make her happy somehow after seeming like we were faced with nothing but disappointment. This seemed like the right way to do it. She needed something to take her mind off of all these things that a kid her age shouldn’t have to deal with. Curse The Wave…
I entered my room which had a box spring and mattress with a bunch of pictures scattered across it, and a desk with a sewing machine on it with several boxes of materials to the side of it. I dropped the heavy gym bag to my side as I took a seat at the desk. I rummaged through the bag and pulled out the damaged red kimono Batta wore. I placed it on the sewing machine and stared at it for a solid five minutes trying to figure out how to repair it. It would kill me to just stitch it back together and have that seem stand out so blatantly, forever tainting the outfit that I worked so hard on. I was turning my brain inside out how to cleverly disguise the mend.
It was a no go at the very moment and there was no sense in melting my brain over it. I stood up from the desk and moved over to my bed and stared at the pile of pictures...
Pictures everywhere, pictures I didn’t care about less than a year ago, but now pictures that are everything to me. So many people in these pictures that are no longer with us. The only things keeping their memories tethered to my mind are these still moments in time. My parents used to hang photos all over the house and I never got it. They were faces we would see everywhere and it seemed so pointless. It was all without context. But now, I realize that the context is where the people go in their in their lives from the moment that photo was taken.
They get somewhere far beyond that point and we look back fondly and say “remember so-and-so when…Can you believe where he is now?” That is exactly what my parents would be doing now if they were alive to see where I am today...Or we look at those photos when they are no longer there for us to see everywhere. Those photos will ensure us that we never forget their faces no matter how many times we summon them to memory. Photos just scattered on my bed. Uncles and aunts, grandfathers and grandmothers, friends and family. They are still here…
I pick up one of me and my father standing side by side after my first day of training. I was so tired and sweaty and you could tell by the lack of energy I had to smile but My dad was just beaming with joy. He was so ready for me to continue on and achieve something special. Sometimes I think he would daydream about how far I would go and what I could accomplish. He never tried to push me too hard but there were some days I could tell he was more excited than I was when I went off to train. Why did I stop?...
I didn’t need to look at a photo to remember. I had gotten injured. It was a leg injury, a hairline fracture in my fibula. I forget what caused it but it put me out for a while before I was good enough to have my first show. I remember how disappointed my dad looked. He wasn’t disappointed in me at all, just in happenstance. I could tell all those daydreams shattered in his head. I had been shaken up by the injury despite that lack of severity. I started thinking about how the list might not end there, how I might end up paralyzed if I continued down that route. My parents understood completely and if anything my mother seemed a little relieved. They continued to support me in what I chose to do which soon became cosplaying.
I picked up a picture of my first costume right before I went off to AniMiami. My mother taught me how to sew; one of the many things I learned from her that has kept us afloat. She would gladly go out and buy me materials so I could put something together for the convention in town. They both were happy enough to support me as I picked up one craft and another. Little did they know what I would turn into. From the little moment to what has been the craziest three months of my life.
It had been the summer of freedom and indulgence. The summer of prosperity and enlightenment. The summer of LOVE AND PASSION! It was the summer of The Hentai Prince. Booming with a celebration of Otaku Culture; the colorful cove of a sentimental breeze that enraptured many with promise of being transported to another world, an easier world, a more allowing world. From town to town, events pop up filled with a reality where these outfits, these hues, these obsessions are no longer weird or out of place, but instead are the pinnacle. To dawn the exoskeleton of one of your favorite characters was a sign, a secret code to invite another hardcore fan to join you in standing side by side under a pact of upholding the principles and values of your show passion, as people take pictures to commemorate existence of everyone’s efforts. From day one to the last, people swarm with excitement as they discover and are reminded that even if they are the loneliest person, they are not alone entirely. Behold the holy world of Anime.
And I was a prophet of sorts to the sacred ground of the Kingdom of lewd. Not all of the Anime doctrine agreed or appreciated our subsection but enough would partake that it was accepted as a part of “that anime thing”. Though despite what others thought, it wasn’t a matter of sex and porn; at least not entirely. To fully understand, you must first understand that Anime in itself is a passion of many repressive people, people who have felt deeply rejected by normal society and have taken refuge in the bright and vibrant world of Japanese animation where it was commonplace that the rejects and loners were vital and wise, that the idiots and failures had something inside them that almost everyone else failed to understand, that even the awkward and the confused could find love and belonging among peers. For a lot of us, it was a way to cope and believe we had a chance. We believed in “that Anime thing”.
But, in following this fandom, many of us found ridicule, which tends to be inevitable. If someone clings to something so out-of-the-ordinary so hard, there will be someone who will have that urge to stab at it. So, further we dug into ourselves. Less confident and less trusting as before. “Unfortunate”.
If it is to be stated why lewdness is such a big part of the anime community and ignore the obvious population of neckbeards that live in it, I would say that it became a level of expression; to open up that extra little bit more and to see others not reject you but, instead, share in it. And if I am to be so dramatic as to say it was my job to pass down the laws of Lewdness, this is what I would give you: The First Law: Kawaii is warmth. It allows the heart to flutter and admire in something attractive yet innocent. Just simplicity, simple simple simplicity. The Second Law: Ecchi is vulnerability. To open to the world, your own being. To see and be seen without the protection of barriers and diversions. Let one be closer and not be scared of others. Third: Hentai is freedom. Hentai is honesty. Hentai is without ashamed pretense. The only thing you can be is you and the only thing you adore is that which magnetizes you.
At least that is what an artist, a poet, a romantic might say about it. It goes without saying that for others, it may very well be taking advantage of a market or the marketeer. But in the mass, in the crowds, in the community, it is acceptance. And this was the summer I finally felt accepted. I had built up the credentials and the notoriety through years of competitive cosplaying, tailoring and travelling from one convention to another on my own dime, in hope of a prize and recognition for my efforts. There had been fruitlessness in a lot of it, prize-wise, but the people walking the floors would always be amused enough to stop me and want a picture taken. Compliment after compliment, smiling face after smiling face, pose after pose. The due diligence of “that Anime thing”.
I felt so proud with myself after a while, that it became somewhat regular for me to try and get into the characters I dressed up as. I would work hard to try and mimic mannerisms, memorize catch phrases, and practice important movements and choreography if the character was known for any. I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t just the costume that I was wearing but the ideas of the character I was portraying. It was that extra step into being a part of the thing we admired. Bringing it to life.
Then there came a point where there were a line of costumes I did that had a common trait that is quite popular in anime: The unashamed perv. Characters from anime such as Desert Punk, Girls Bravo, Inuyasha, No Game No Life, and even Dragon Ball Z...The list was almost endless of possible choices. It was a common source of comedy as the perv dismounted in his attempt of flirtation, only too get smacked down by a self-respecting, strong-willed, female character. I had attempted a few contests with such characters and afterwards, I would walk the floor in full energy. And of course people enjoyed playing along. It was an awarding feeling, watching people live out the tropes they enjoyed watching; to forget that there was an outside world and all those judging and scrutinizing “normies”. Nope, here for the span of the weekend, there was only “that Anime thing”.
Though, unbeknownst to me, while I continued to travel the circuit, my face was starting to get around the internet and I was getting a small bit of recognition for my skill and enthusiasm. I had never planned for something of the such to happen. It was mainly female cosplayers who would be recognize and I just assumed that since I wasn’t an attractive member of the opposite sex, that to most people I would just be “a guy that sews”. But, the truth was that I had been so successful in my efforts, that people began making note of me.
It was one time that I thought it would be funny if, instead of dressing up as a character from an anime, I created an entirely original anime-styled outfit and see how many people would notice or rack their brain trying to figure out what show I could possibly be from. So, I donned a navy blue cape jacket with golden links (a white button up shirt underneath), a pair of circular frame sunglasses with reflective tint, tight black dress pants, and black leather shoes that came to a point. I figured my own long black hair was unruly enough to pass for a character’s style and so I didn’t bother with a wig. And thus, the origins to the outfit I would become familiarized with.
After forming the wardrobe of this non-existent character, I spent an unreasonable amount of time practicing poses in the mirror, trying to figure out exactly what kind of character I wanted this to be. Finally, I could be creative and develop a persona all my own. Not that I didn’t like gearing up as someone else’s intellectual property rights, it was that there is only so much you can do with it. People would put fun spins on previous character by giving them a conceptual addition like Steam Punk or Cyper Punk, or Punk...punk, etcetera. But there is only so far you could stray. This was different. This was mine. He could be whatever I wanted him to be. He wasn’t really a part of “that Anime thing.” He was alive inside my head. And I was going to debut him in my home town, at AniMiami.
Obviously, I didn’t bother entering a competition; as it would be against the rules to not have a source. so I spent my time that weekend mainly taking to the convention floor. Surprisingly, it wasn’t even ten minutes before someone walked up to me, excited to have recognized my face and was interested in seeing what I had conjured up for the convention. It was startling to be recognized when I had never felt like anything more than a nobody. It was somewhat encouraging but at the same time alarming.
Anonymity was what made these outrageous displays work. We could act like crazies and fools because we didn’t know any of these people and doubted we would see them again outside of the convention, so there was a sense of “here goes nothing”. But, now people were noticing me, not by costume, but by my face. It caused me to retract a little in my interaction until I realized something. Even if he recognized me by my face, he still didn’t know me. He was still just a random person that I would most likely never see again. It wasn’t long after that thought, that I was back in full swing.
Upon approaching, I could tell that he was somewhat embarrassed and hesitant to ask but after a moment or so of me flamboyantly talking him up in the manner I had chosen appropriate for this wardrobe, and getting a dialogue started (giving a sort of assurance that nothing he could say would be as ridiculous as me) he finally gathered the will to ask.
Convention Goer
Just curious, maybe it is more obscure than I am familiar with, but may I ask you who you are supposed to be?
There was a moment of hesitation from myself, as I knew the question would be ask but for some reason I had yet to come up with an answer. But, that is when something rather interesting happened. Someone, hearing the question that was brought to me, shouted (as to be heard over the deafening chatter).
Shouting Con-Goer
Don’t you know?! He’s The Hentai Prince!
For a moment I was stunned and thought that maybe by some accident or subconscious guidance that I had somehow actually dressed up as a character I was unaware of. I quickly searched my mind, trying to remember any notion of such a character, until a phone was shoved right in front of both of us. It was a fan page...for me.
In bold white letters at the top, it said “The Hentai Prince!” and had a little over a few thousand likes. How often is it that you find out there is a fan page for yourself that your were completely unaware of? Well, when you do find out, there is not a moment in your life to compare it to. You could search and search but honestly I don’t think there is a name for the odd mixture of emotions that rushed through your body.
Apparently, my perv cosplays were a hit among many people who couldn’t help but relay the antics they had taken part in upon meeting me and it was one very perceptive responder that managed to connect that in all these stories, it was the same person cosplaying each one. At first, they referred to me as “Mr. Hentai” but many of the fans decided that made me sound like a dirty uncle that everyone kept their kids away from and decided that I needed something that sounded young and represented the energy I was becoming known for. It was apparently the same perceptive fan who came up with the name “The Hentai Prince” which caught on like a wildfire.
How things happen under your nose...
It took me a moment to click back into reality and realize I was staring, dumbfounded, into the phone a little bit too long. I shook off the surprise and with a new sort of determination, as if the character was truly alive in me, I gave what was probably the cheeziest laugh I could muster and struck a pose like that of a hero making a declaration to the world.
The Hentai Prince
HAHAHA! Yes! It is I, The Hentai Prince!
It was at that moment that I realized that what I was wearing was no longer a “costume” but my official wardrobe; what people will recognize me for months to come. To them it was real, I was real. The Hentai Prince was real. “That Anime thing” for once, was real.
And over the course of this last summer, the community needed a hero. The Wave had destroyed so many lives. It crushed the hope and confidence of so many people. The conventions were fewer but more packed than ever as people needed an escape. It only reinforced the fact that we were not alone. That those we surrounded ourselves with were more like us than before. Very few had survived The Wave unscathed and so when you look out onto the convention floor, you will more than likely see those who have been suffering much like yourself. So, despite how I might have felt, I knew there were thousands of people who were going through the same thing.
It was when that fact finally came to light for me, that I knew that The Hentai Prince was more than just a character. He was going to be the personality, the energy, the love and passion that my fellow Otakus-no, my fellow human beings needed.
Though that didn’t stop it from being a lonely experience sometimes. There were days I felt trapped inside; unable to just be me. I needed to keep the illusion alive. I didn’t want to break the reality people had built around me. I was afraid to let them know that their hero was an act. It came to the point now-a-days that the only people I was talking to as myself, no persona, were either The Moe Stars or my sister. All these other people wouldn’t care if I was just Adam, a quiet and calm loser who doesn’t really have much going on. They didn’t come to see “just Adam”. And people on the outside, “normies”, really didn’t care either way. I was still just “a guy who sews”. Even though it was just two minds I had, I felt like to everyone else, I had a thousand masks.
I guess a part of me hoped that in UCI, I could reach more people...have more people care. Maybe even get them to appreciate the talent inside rather than the character I projected outside. Is that narotic? I hope not. I didn’t feel like I was doing it for me, but maybe that is how most people felt when they do something so narotic. Maybe it was just a product of watching all that Anime. So many of those characters trying to be the very best. Gon Freecss, Kōsei Arima, Goku...Ash Ketchum…
Essentially if you ever saw how they say that Disney Princesses have ruined relationships for girls. Shonen does the same for boys in terms of our dreams. Just rekt. We grow up thinking we are going to try to be number one and reach the stars then the rest of life spends all this time chopping at our legs.
But despite all this, I can’t let it show. Stay strong and be confident! If there is even the slightest bit of a chance for me to bring some hope back into this world, I have to BE The Hentai Prince. I can’t stop even for a second to pity myself.
So, I took a moment, dropped the photos back on to the bed and returned to my desk. This kimono wasn’t going to fix itself. Eventually, I will find someone worthy to wear it. But for now, I just wanted it to be complete, accomplished, whole...not in two parts. Two parts mended together to be one.
#SewingPrinceTechnique!!!
It is my pleasure to introduce to you, the exciting, energizing, electrifying...HENTAI PRINCE!
Music boomed and bass rattled; a future-funk tune fit for the summer time madness. The walking beat and high powered synth notes were deafening but not as deafening as the cheers that erupted as soon as I stepped out onto the stage of the packed auditorium. Unbelievable. Lights blasted every other direction, colors nonsensically flashing like a small rave. Swallowed up in the explosion of noise, my body - if not my existence - went numb; feeling like I was walking on nothing in my black mid-calf leather boots.
As I walked to the middle of the stage, I had to keep my eyes to the ground to make sure my steps were solid and even. My circular framed sunglasses shook on my face, leaving a weird sensation on the bridge of my nose. Even my white button up shirt and tight black dress pants felt like they were vibrating against my body.
Slow breaths. In, out, in, out. Keep centered. Keep concentrated. This depends on focus...
Reaching the center of the stage, I looked out to the audience and saw a sea of onlookers that stretched up into the darkness towards the back; blocked out by the spotlights shining down on to me. My navy blue cape jacket sat still on my shoulders until I ripped it off and threw it into the air behind me in one swift motion, leaving my arm up, lingering as the jacket fluttered down to the ground; flash photography going off a thousands times a second.
In the beginning of the season, I had been worried by the sensation that I might lose footing or become generally disoriented with all the booming and cheering; but by mid-summer, I had learned how to keep fully aware through the production, the tricks of keeping my cool - as did my beloved Moe Stars who had been following close behind; giving attention to the fans; dancing around me in their synchronized fashion. They were putting on an excellent performance as always...with the exception of Batta…
Biyaku, Bani, and Botan were all so amazing and skilled, not being a moment out of step in their magnificent short style Kimonos. Each having beautifully unique designs matched to their ever-so unique and distinct personalities. Mastering character and posture so well that they couldn’t be any less than believable; selling those outfits like it was the only thing they ever cared to wear.
But Batta...Batta was lost. Not confident in who she was nor who she should ever become. A person just struggling to be self. She knew what she loved but didn’t know enough to love herself.
She was new and had reached out to me over twitter as a fan with infinite enthusiasm, wanting to be a Moe Star; exclaiming that she “would give anything to take part in such an important factor of the anime community…” Something I could understand myself for many reasons. Taking a look through her own cosplaying portfolio, my heart went out to her as she seemed so natural in her craft; character ready with each one of them, seeming like a perfect match with my philosophy of LOVE AND PASSION!
I should preface that I really wanted it to work out; putting in the extra hours to help her memorize the choreography and get her character down. But, it didn’t matter what I did because her problem wasn’t her talent but her mind. She was unsure and it tied and twisted her thoughts into anxiety, second guessing, and confusion. One might say “Baka!” but I can’t think anything but “unfortunate”.
I could only watch as she had hurried onto the stage, sticking out like a sore thumb. The other three were so smooth and alive; no hesitation as they side stepped, spun, and winked towards the crowd; blowing kisses and giving pouts. They weren’t just performing, they WERE the Moe Stars! Being simultaneous, yet owning every movement individually. Biyaku being seductive and knowing; experience radiating off of her in such subtle ways; her devious and cunning smile ready to take control of any situation. If there was anything more fitting than her purple velvet Kimono designed with green threaded smoke and rivers, I couldn’t think of it. Though, the sea green silk organza structured scarf was a cherry on top of the sundae, to be fair.
Then Bani, successfully innocent and earnest; her eyes lighting up at everyone she saw as if there was an inner light in every last one of them that only she could recognize; an open heart and a lack of prejudice that believed in everyone. Could you go with anything but a classic hot pink cotton with hearts and candy shapes organized in a child-like disorder? The calm color warm and bright amongst everything else so dark. Does it seem a bit on the head? Maybe, but sometimes it is so obvious that it has to be done.
Then there is Botan, assertive and confident; ready to prove her worth and continues to live without doubt; her stature strong and straight and alive within herself. The dark blue of her Kimono had a reflective quality in its dull satin with strips of blue sequins down the sides. Understated compared to the other two but it was about the truth in solidarity.
But Batta was unsure. Just unsure. It would have been something if she was supposed to be clumsy; the kind of bubbliness that so many can relate to. People liked the fool, but unfortunately that required more skill than one can imagine. It was the controlled clumsiness that Batta didn’t have. And here everyone was seeing it, unable to ignore it - not loveable or relatable, just awkward; as is such when one doesn’t live in a story.
...Rhythmic hip sway with a hand on the side as they pointed out to the crowd with the other, panning across the room. Then came the slide to the left, slide to the right - Batta being a step behind - and then the spin...Thus came the botch. A culmination of anxiety and worry boiled over and her dark red Mary Janes slipped out from under her, sending her falling to the ground. From the crowd came a collective ‘Oof!’.
The other Moe Stars were quick to hoist her up but the damage was done in multiple ways. Beyond breaking the stream of synchronization (right at the very end too, where they were supposed to pose and bask in success), she also managed to tear her blood red skirt; the dragon that wrapped all around the design of her kimono was torn right at the head. They scurried off as the music died down; the last of the cheers from the crowd spouted off, and I stood up on stage by myself, but my mind was not shaken. I had one shot at clearing the air and it would take a lot of carefully placed energy.
The Hentai Prince
Hello, Chicago!
There was a new, yet short burst from the crowd as they celebrated in hometown love. A cheap pop was a good way to get the morale high and break the ice without too much of an awkward transition. I walked across the stage with a wide gait and one hand on my hip as the other swung with each step, like that of a model travelling down the catwalk.
Usually something like this was a simple event. Most of the time I am brought on to judge (with a couple of my peers) Cosplay Contests or host a special event. It was kind of weird to be on the other side, only recently having discovered this new found micro-fame, but I guess there had been a shortage of celebrities since The Wave. I paused as the audience simmered down again, and then I brought the microphone to my lips.
The Hentai Prince
For those who may not know who I am...I am the idol of perversion, the celebrator of ecchi, the defender of pleasure! I am The Hentai Prince! Your royal heir to all things sensual and forbidden...and tentacles...And those lovely ladies you saw dancing by my side were the amazing Moe Stars! We travel the country, from convention to convention, at the speed of kawaii to spread our philosophy of LOVE AND PASSION!
The Audience
LOVE AND PASSION!
The echoing of the crowd still gave me goosebumps no matter how many times it happened. A few smattering of claps bubbled up but were quickly hushed as I continued on.
The Hentai Prince
Indoctrinating one town after another into the Kingdom of Lewd. We aim to gain acceptance for all our fellow otakus, all our like-minded perverts!
Then came the wooing and hollering! Though, I think it is only fair to say that it wasn’t me they were making all this commotion for. I was the vessel for a power beyond me, of which I was loaned the ability to live vicariously through. They were really cheering for “that Anime thing”...
I glided to the other side of the of the stage.
The Hentai Prince
The Hentai Prince know’s you are tired of hiding who you are! The Hentai Prince knows that feeling of rejection. He sees your hesitant faces; not sure who to reach out to, who to trust. The Hentai Prince sees this and he wants to help you! In our Kingdom of Lewd, all are welcomed! You are not alone! You are not strange and disgusting! You are one of many!
I quickly jumped to front-center stage and slowly squatted down. A hush came over the audience. I continued on in a quieter tone, keeping the crowd down but on the edge of their seat; their attention focused in by the sudden urgency.
The Hentai Prince
Grotesque they call us...
dirty!
The Audience gasped...dramatic...
slimy!
A gasps again…more dramatics!
....grotesque pigs!
The audience then proceeded to snort; their pig noises neither flattery nor mockery.
The Hentai Prince
But I ask, so what if we like school uniforms with short skirts? So what if we like two dimensional maids, and nurses? So what if some of us are into inconceivable tentacle monsters taking advantage of us? I say to you who judge: It is art It is spirit. It is life. It is...
I stood up straight, stretched both of my arms out, and shouted out…
The Hentai Prince
VIC-TORY!
Audience
VIC-TORY!
I dropped my arms to the side as the room hummed with energy. I let it go for a minute before bring the microphone once again to my lips.
The Hentai Prince
It is so much more to me than pantie shots and jiggly tits, though! My kingdom is about affection! My kingdom is about intensity! What flows through my finger tips is the immense vitality of my beliefs! The electricity of my heart and being! The power of my philosophy of LOVE AND PASSION!
Audience
LOVE AND PASSION!
The Hentai Prince
We are people who believe! When we have a dream, we go at it at full speed without hesitation! The Hentai Prince is not stopped by doubt! He is only powered by it! We are red blooded and alive! No one could have that hunger we possessed as we attempt everything at the same heart pounding energy! If we like something, we love it! If we do something, it is our passion! The Kingdom of Lewd is a population of fiery hearts and bright souls! What we conquer, we conquer in admiration and dedication!
I paused...
The Hentai Prince
With that said, I have an important announcement...With the end of summer just over the horizon, the convention season coming to a close, The Hentai Prince has decided to take a big step into a new world. One that will take every bit of his fiery heart to make it in! A world that is prominent here in Chicago. One that is just as filled with personalities as our beloved anime. It is with great excitement that I announce to you, my fellow otakus, that I, The Hentai Prince, have signed up with United Championship Infinite!
The room instantly went buzzing as the flash photography was unleashed once again but I raised my arms up to hush the commotion.
The Hentai Prince
I know you must have a lot of questions. “Why get into the ring and fight and risk breaking your flawless face?” “Why put your body on the line when the anime community adores you? You aren’t a wrestler, why become one?”...I will not lie, the answer is a complicated one but to put it simply, I would be lying if I said my only passion has been Anime! Gasp! I know! But It would hypocritical of me to say everything I have tonight and then leave this burning question inside of me, never knowing how it would have went...UCI has given me a chance during a time where dreams seem scarce, to find out that very thing! I don’t want you all to worry. This will not be the end of The Hentai Prince! With confidence, I will carve out my place and show the world that Otakus are not sad, out of shape, NEETs that they picture us to be!...Now, join me in stretching out your arms and shouting…
I held out my arms again to return to shouting…
The Hentai Prince
VIC-TORY!
Audience
VIC-TORY!
The Hentai Prince
VIC-TORY!
Audience
VIC-TORY!
The Hentai Prince
VIC-TORY!
Audience
VIC-TORY!
The music came back just as booming as before and Biyaku, Bani, and Botan came out dancing, this time without Batta. This part of the show went on for a while as they not only danced but sang as well. There were a few playfully fun sketches in between which they worked so hard on and even if some of them weren’t funny, they were heart warming at the very least. This was really a point where they could be the stars and get the attention they deserved, for I might have been the brain that brought it all together, they were the real talent of the whole act. I was no slouch, but sometimes I was so envious and wished I had the kind of ability they all had.
Though, as much hard work as we all put into this, it was when the show was over and we had all changed out of our costumes that the hardest thing I ever had to do happened. The four of us were exiting out the back of the building, chatting away, when we saw Batta (off-stage her name was Kate Hendrix) sitting on a bench in her street clothes, twiddling her thumbs as she looked at the ground with a face we were all familiar with. A face of defeat.
Biyaku (real name: Donna Samson) stood in front of me, placed her hand on my shoulder, and looked me dead in the eyes.
Donna Samson
You know what you have to do, Adam. Don’t hesitate for a second. It is going to be hard but we all have to accept the reality here.
Direct eye contact always made me so uncomfortable, even with people I have known for a while now. To avoid it, I looked down to her tight fit Re: Zero Ram t-shirt...I had a Rem counterpart back at my apartment...I sighed.
Adam Kurosawa
Right...The reality…
Donna patted me on the shoulder and smiled.
Donna Samson
You are a good guy, Adam. Don’t let that be your downfall.
She turned back and walked on. Bani (real name: Michelle Ribbons) walked past, slapping me on the back of the head as she usually did and walked on; her oversized, green Himouto! Umaru-chan t-shirt fluttering like a sail in the late-night breeze.
Michelle Ribbons
See ya tomorrow, Hentai Dunce! Hehe.
Botan (real name: Patricia Nichols) walked by with her head low, hidden under the hood of her light jacket which we always teased her about in the summertime heat but she would never take it down when she walked about outside. She gave me a quick, empty glance before walking on without saying anything. They all waved good-bye to Kate as they passed her. She was quick to muster up a smile and wave back, as if for a moment, the pain of embarrassment wasn’t all that bad.
I walked up and sat next to her on the bench, not saying anything for a moment, both just looking to the ground...Kate was the first to speak.
Kate Hendrix
I’m sorry, Adam.
Adam Kurosawa
It’s alright…
Kate Hendrix
If it was alright, you wouldn’t be about to fire me…
I looked up in surprise.
Adam Kurosawa
I…
She slowly lifted her head up and looked me in the eyes, much like Donna. Her face was covered in light red splotches from crying before we had arrived. I averted my gaze off to the side.
Kate Hendrix
Adam, I may be clumsy but I’m not dumb.
Adam Kurosawa
I wasn’t going to say you were…
Kate Hendrix
Adam, look at me…
It took a great amount of willpower but I did look back at her. Her face was calm but it wasn’t hard to see the twitching and shaking behind it of someone trying to hold up while breaking down.
Kate Hendrix
It is not being fired that is gonna hurt me. It is the fact that I wasn’t able to do what was needed to keep myself from being fired.
Adam Kurosawa
I mean, do we have to say fired. It isn’t like we are in the office or that we have an enterprise…
Kate Hendrix
Adam, word choice and vocabulary may make for good character designs, but it is shit at changing how I am going to feel about this. I just want you to say it.
My heart sank, but I won’t make the distinction that it had fallen anywhere close to how far Kate’s heart fell when she slipped on stage. This was never something I wanted to do when I started. In my head, it was going to be the dream of everyone having a great time and any sour moment could quickly be smothered down with our general happiness. But, that thought only mad situations like these unbearably painful…
Adam Kurosawa
K-Kate...you’re fired.
She smiled at me, but there was nothing happy in it.
Kate Hendrix
Thank you, Adam, for the opportunity. Thank you for everything. Good-bye.
That twinge of pain. The abruptness of that good-bye. I didn’t want it to just end like that. It didn’t feel right to end it that abruptly. I wanted to give her words of encouragement, give her something to make her feel better but the words stopped in my throat and I could tell that any persistence to try and cheer her up would just make the situation worst. I stood up and walked away with a sort of emptiness that I had not felt this whole summer.
From there, I headed straight to my newly acquired apartment. Being a member of the UCI roster, I couldn’t afford to fly from Miami to Chicago every week, so it seemed simpler to move up to my new place of business. I was shaking everyday since I made the call…
After fumbling with the keys, I finally unlocked the door and entered, with a gym bag slung over my shoulder, into what was a living space that was more empty than anything. Two chairs, a small table, and an older television that I didn’t think was going to work. And in one of the chairs, watching this Sunday night’s episode of UCI was my little, fourteen year old sister, Tina Kurosawa. My only remaining family after The Wave…
Tina was at school and I was working when our house was destroyed in The Wave. We didn’t know it then but our parents had been home during the attack, it wasn’t until a week later when they found the bodies. I was brought in to identify the bodies and when I saw them cold and pale, that is when I had the violent realization that Tina and I were alone and it was up to me to take care of her. I never cried so hard in my life.
It was rocky at first. I was a panicking mess, we had lost almost everything, and we had nowhere to go. We stayed with a coworker of mine for a little while until I found an apartment for ourselves. I was worried I was going to go grey with the amount of stress I was under. Always running around like a chicken with its head cut off, rambling and ranting about getting this done and that done. If had not been for the money my parents had been saving in our separate accounts, we would have been lost.
But, during all this chaos that was spinning in my head, my sister became quiet. A once energetic girl jumping all over the place, now quiet and blank. I was so scared she would just turn into a statue. I tried everything I could to get that energy back; not wanting her to be broken and without hope at such a young age. She was the reason I joined UCI.
She had never been interested in Anime, often referring to it at “that Anime thing”. She wasn’t mean about, she just never got it; though she was supportive of my work. She was more of a fan of Professional wrestling. We were both fans, but wrestling to her was Anime to me. Anytime we travelled to a new town for a convention, we would spend time trying to figure out if there was a promotion in town and how she could watch. Most of the time she could watch it on the Hotel’s TV, but sometimes I would take her to an actual live show if I was free. And if I was busy judging a contest and The Moe Stars were free, Donna would have no problem taking her for me.
It was our dad that got us into wrestling in the first place and so I think there was a point why she clung onto it so dearly. We used to think our father knew everything there was to know about wrestling with how much he would tell us. He even gave me the money to get trained a couple of years before The Wave. He always told me I had such a talent to entertain people and that I should use it. He told me it would be great for Professional Wrestling and wanted me to give it a try.
I walked up and stood by Tina, watching what was going on as two men were going at it with an impressive amount of aggression. I could feel the faint ache in my knees from picking up training again in the weekdays between convention weekends. I had forgotten how intense it really was. I had kept in physical shape but nothing works your cardio like wrestling…
Adam Kurosawa
Who versus who…
Tina Kurosawa
Howard Black vs. Andre Jenson
Adam Kurosawa
How is it?
Tina Kurosawa
It’s alright. Looks like this place is filled with a lot of tough guys...How was that Anime thing…
Adam Kurosawa
Was alright. I had to fire Kate…
Tina Kurosawa
Aww...I liked her. She was nice.
I turned away and began walking to my room.
Adam Kurosawa
We all did...Hey, once the show is over, I want you to go to bed. No excuses this time.
Tina Kurosawa
Boooo! My brother is already turning into the bad guy!
You should have seen her face when I told her. For the first time in a long time, it lit up! She was so excited that her brother was going to be a Pro-wrestler, something she cared about. I wanted to make her happy somehow after seeming like we were faced with nothing but disappointment. This seemed like the right way to do it. She needed something to take her mind off of all these things that a kid her age shouldn’t have to deal with. Curse The Wave…
I entered my room which had a box spring and mattress with a bunch of pictures scattered across it, and a desk with a sewing machine on it with several boxes of materials to the side of it. I dropped the heavy gym bag to my side as I took a seat at the desk. I rummaged through the bag and pulled out the damaged red kimono Batta wore. I placed it on the sewing machine and stared at it for a solid five minutes trying to figure out how to repair it. It would kill me to just stitch it back together and have that seem stand out so blatantly, forever tainting the outfit that I worked so hard on. I was turning my brain inside out how to cleverly disguise the mend.
It was a no go at the very moment and there was no sense in melting my brain over it. I stood up from the desk and moved over to my bed and stared at the pile of pictures...
Pictures everywhere, pictures I didn’t care about less than a year ago, but now pictures that are everything to me. So many people in these pictures that are no longer with us. The only things keeping their memories tethered to my mind are these still moments in time. My parents used to hang photos all over the house and I never got it. They were faces we would see everywhere and it seemed so pointless. It was all without context. But now, I realize that the context is where the people go in their in their lives from the moment that photo was taken.
They get somewhere far beyond that point and we look back fondly and say “remember so-and-so when…Can you believe where he is now?” That is exactly what my parents would be doing now if they were alive to see where I am today...Or we look at those photos when they are no longer there for us to see everywhere. Those photos will ensure us that we never forget their faces no matter how many times we summon them to memory. Photos just scattered on my bed. Uncles and aunts, grandfathers and grandmothers, friends and family. They are still here…
I pick up one of me and my father standing side by side after my first day of training. I was so tired and sweaty and you could tell by the lack of energy I had to smile but My dad was just beaming with joy. He was so ready for me to continue on and achieve something special. Sometimes I think he would daydream about how far I would go and what I could accomplish. He never tried to push me too hard but there were some days I could tell he was more excited than I was when I went off to train. Why did I stop?...
I didn’t need to look at a photo to remember. I had gotten injured. It was a leg injury, a hairline fracture in my fibula. I forget what caused it but it put me out for a while before I was good enough to have my first show. I remember how disappointed my dad looked. He wasn’t disappointed in me at all, just in happenstance. I could tell all those daydreams shattered in his head. I had been shaken up by the injury despite that lack of severity. I started thinking about how the list might not end there, how I might end up paralyzed if I continued down that route. My parents understood completely and if anything my mother seemed a little relieved. They continued to support me in what I chose to do which soon became cosplaying.
I picked up a picture of my first costume right before I went off to AniMiami. My mother taught me how to sew; one of the many things I learned from her that has kept us afloat. She would gladly go out and buy me materials so I could put something together for the convention in town. They both were happy enough to support me as I picked up one craft and another. Little did they know what I would turn into. From the little moment to what has been the craziest three months of my life.
It had been the summer of freedom and indulgence. The summer of prosperity and enlightenment. The summer of LOVE AND PASSION! It was the summer of The Hentai Prince. Booming with a celebration of Otaku Culture; the colorful cove of a sentimental breeze that enraptured many with promise of being transported to another world, an easier world, a more allowing world. From town to town, events pop up filled with a reality where these outfits, these hues, these obsessions are no longer weird or out of place, but instead are the pinnacle. To dawn the exoskeleton of one of your favorite characters was a sign, a secret code to invite another hardcore fan to join you in standing side by side under a pact of upholding the principles and values of your show passion, as people take pictures to commemorate existence of everyone’s efforts. From day one to the last, people swarm with excitement as they discover and are reminded that even if they are the loneliest person, they are not alone entirely. Behold the holy world of Anime.
And I was a prophet of sorts to the sacred ground of the Kingdom of lewd. Not all of the Anime doctrine agreed or appreciated our subsection but enough would partake that it was accepted as a part of “that anime thing”. Though despite what others thought, it wasn’t a matter of sex and porn; at least not entirely. To fully understand, you must first understand that Anime in itself is a passion of many repressive people, people who have felt deeply rejected by normal society and have taken refuge in the bright and vibrant world of Japanese animation where it was commonplace that the rejects and loners were vital and wise, that the idiots and failures had something inside them that almost everyone else failed to understand, that even the awkward and the confused could find love and belonging among peers. For a lot of us, it was a way to cope and believe we had a chance. We believed in “that Anime thing”.
But, in following this fandom, many of us found ridicule, which tends to be inevitable. If someone clings to something so out-of-the-ordinary so hard, there will be someone who will have that urge to stab at it. So, further we dug into ourselves. Less confident and less trusting as before. “Unfortunate”.
If it is to be stated why lewdness is such a big part of the anime community and ignore the obvious population of neckbeards that live in it, I would say that it became a level of expression; to open up that extra little bit more and to see others not reject you but, instead, share in it. And if I am to be so dramatic as to say it was my job to pass down the laws of Lewdness, this is what I would give you: The First Law: Kawaii is warmth. It allows the heart to flutter and admire in something attractive yet innocent. Just simplicity, simple simple simplicity. The Second Law: Ecchi is vulnerability. To open to the world, your own being. To see and be seen without the protection of barriers and diversions. Let one be closer and not be scared of others. Third: Hentai is freedom. Hentai is honesty. Hentai is without ashamed pretense. The only thing you can be is you and the only thing you adore is that which magnetizes you.
At least that is what an artist, a poet, a romantic might say about it. It goes without saying that for others, it may very well be taking advantage of a market or the marketeer. But in the mass, in the crowds, in the community, it is acceptance. And this was the summer I finally felt accepted. I had built up the credentials and the notoriety through years of competitive cosplaying, tailoring and travelling from one convention to another on my own dime, in hope of a prize and recognition for my efforts. There had been fruitlessness in a lot of it, prize-wise, but the people walking the floors would always be amused enough to stop me and want a picture taken. Compliment after compliment, smiling face after smiling face, pose after pose. The due diligence of “that Anime thing”.
I felt so proud with myself after a while, that it became somewhat regular for me to try and get into the characters I dressed up as. I would work hard to try and mimic mannerisms, memorize catch phrases, and practice important movements and choreography if the character was known for any. I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t just the costume that I was wearing but the ideas of the character I was portraying. It was that extra step into being a part of the thing we admired. Bringing it to life.
Then there came a point where there were a line of costumes I did that had a common trait that is quite popular in anime: The unashamed perv. Characters from anime such as Desert Punk, Girls Bravo, Inuyasha, No Game No Life, and even Dragon Ball Z...The list was almost endless of possible choices. It was a common source of comedy as the perv dismounted in his attempt of flirtation, only too get smacked down by a self-respecting, strong-willed, female character. I had attempted a few contests with such characters and afterwards, I would walk the floor in full energy. And of course people enjoyed playing along. It was an awarding feeling, watching people live out the tropes they enjoyed watching; to forget that there was an outside world and all those judging and scrutinizing “normies”. Nope, here for the span of the weekend, there was only “that Anime thing”.
Though, unbeknownst to me, while I continued to travel the circuit, my face was starting to get around the internet and I was getting a small bit of recognition for my skill and enthusiasm. I had never planned for something of the such to happen. It was mainly female cosplayers who would be recognize and I just assumed that since I wasn’t an attractive member of the opposite sex, that to most people I would just be “a guy that sews”. But, the truth was that I had been so successful in my efforts, that people began making note of me.
It was one time that I thought it would be funny if, instead of dressing up as a character from an anime, I created an entirely original anime-styled outfit and see how many people would notice or rack their brain trying to figure out what show I could possibly be from. So, I donned a navy blue cape jacket with golden links (a white button up shirt underneath), a pair of circular frame sunglasses with reflective tint, tight black dress pants, and black leather shoes that came to a point. I figured my own long black hair was unruly enough to pass for a character’s style and so I didn’t bother with a wig. And thus, the origins to the outfit I would become familiarized with.
After forming the wardrobe of this non-existent character, I spent an unreasonable amount of time practicing poses in the mirror, trying to figure out exactly what kind of character I wanted this to be. Finally, I could be creative and develop a persona all my own. Not that I didn’t like gearing up as someone else’s intellectual property rights, it was that there is only so much you can do with it. People would put fun spins on previous character by giving them a conceptual addition like Steam Punk or Cyper Punk, or Punk...punk, etcetera. But there is only so far you could stray. This was different. This was mine. He could be whatever I wanted him to be. He wasn’t really a part of “that Anime thing.” He was alive inside my head. And I was going to debut him in my home town, at AniMiami.
Obviously, I didn’t bother entering a competition; as it would be against the rules to not have a source. so I spent my time that weekend mainly taking to the convention floor. Surprisingly, it wasn’t even ten minutes before someone walked up to me, excited to have recognized my face and was interested in seeing what I had conjured up for the convention. It was startling to be recognized when I had never felt like anything more than a nobody. It was somewhat encouraging but at the same time alarming.
Anonymity was what made these outrageous displays work. We could act like crazies and fools because we didn’t know any of these people and doubted we would see them again outside of the convention, so there was a sense of “here goes nothing”. But, now people were noticing me, not by costume, but by my face. It caused me to retract a little in my interaction until I realized something. Even if he recognized me by my face, he still didn’t know me. He was still just a random person that I would most likely never see again. It wasn’t long after that thought, that I was back in full swing.
Upon approaching, I could tell that he was somewhat embarrassed and hesitant to ask but after a moment or so of me flamboyantly talking him up in the manner I had chosen appropriate for this wardrobe, and getting a dialogue started (giving a sort of assurance that nothing he could say would be as ridiculous as me) he finally gathered the will to ask.
Convention Goer
Just curious, maybe it is more obscure than I am familiar with, but may I ask you who you are supposed to be?
There was a moment of hesitation from myself, as I knew the question would be ask but for some reason I had yet to come up with an answer. But, that is when something rather interesting happened. Someone, hearing the question that was brought to me, shouted (as to be heard over the deafening chatter).
Shouting Con-Goer
Don’t you know?! He’s The Hentai Prince!
For a moment I was stunned and thought that maybe by some accident or subconscious guidance that I had somehow actually dressed up as a character I was unaware of. I quickly searched my mind, trying to remember any notion of such a character, until a phone was shoved right in front of both of us. It was a fan page...for me.
In bold white letters at the top, it said “The Hentai Prince!” and had a little over a few thousand likes. How often is it that you find out there is a fan page for yourself that your were completely unaware of? Well, when you do find out, there is not a moment in your life to compare it to. You could search and search but honestly I don’t think there is a name for the odd mixture of emotions that rushed through your body.
Apparently, my perv cosplays were a hit among many people who couldn’t help but relay the antics they had taken part in upon meeting me and it was one very perceptive responder that managed to connect that in all these stories, it was the same person cosplaying each one. At first, they referred to me as “Mr. Hentai” but many of the fans decided that made me sound like a dirty uncle that everyone kept their kids away from and decided that I needed something that sounded young and represented the energy I was becoming known for. It was apparently the same perceptive fan who came up with the name “The Hentai Prince” which caught on like a wildfire.
How things happen under your nose...
It took me a moment to click back into reality and realize I was staring, dumbfounded, into the phone a little bit too long. I shook off the surprise and with a new sort of determination, as if the character was truly alive in me, I gave what was probably the cheeziest laugh I could muster and struck a pose like that of a hero making a declaration to the world.
The Hentai Prince
HAHAHA! Yes! It is I, The Hentai Prince!
It was at that moment that I realized that what I was wearing was no longer a “costume” but my official wardrobe; what people will recognize me for months to come. To them it was real, I was real. The Hentai Prince was real. “That Anime thing” for once, was real.
And over the course of this last summer, the community needed a hero. The Wave had destroyed so many lives. It crushed the hope and confidence of so many people. The conventions were fewer but more packed than ever as people needed an escape. It only reinforced the fact that we were not alone. That those we surrounded ourselves with were more like us than before. Very few had survived The Wave unscathed and so when you look out onto the convention floor, you will more than likely see those who have been suffering much like yourself. So, despite how I might have felt, I knew there were thousands of people who were going through the same thing.
It was when that fact finally came to light for me, that I knew that The Hentai Prince was more than just a character. He was going to be the personality, the energy, the love and passion that my fellow Otakus-no, my fellow human beings needed.
Though that didn’t stop it from being a lonely experience sometimes. There were days I felt trapped inside; unable to just be me. I needed to keep the illusion alive. I didn’t want to break the reality people had built around me. I was afraid to let them know that their hero was an act. It came to the point now-a-days that the only people I was talking to as myself, no persona, were either The Moe Stars or my sister. All these other people wouldn’t care if I was just Adam, a quiet and calm loser who doesn’t really have much going on. They didn’t come to see “just Adam”. And people on the outside, “normies”, really didn’t care either way. I was still just “a guy who sews”. Even though it was just two minds I had, I felt like to everyone else, I had a thousand masks.
I guess a part of me hoped that in UCI, I could reach more people...have more people care. Maybe even get them to appreciate the talent inside rather than the character I projected outside. Is that narotic? I hope not. I didn’t feel like I was doing it for me, but maybe that is how most people felt when they do something so narotic. Maybe it was just a product of watching all that Anime. So many of those characters trying to be the very best. Gon Freecss, Kōsei Arima, Goku...Ash Ketchum…
Essentially if you ever saw how they say that Disney Princesses have ruined relationships for girls. Shonen does the same for boys in terms of our dreams. Just rekt. We grow up thinking we are going to try to be number one and reach the stars then the rest of life spends all this time chopping at our legs.
But despite all this, I can’t let it show. Stay strong and be confident! If there is even the slightest bit of a chance for me to bring some hope back into this world, I have to BE The Hentai Prince. I can’t stop even for a second to pity myself.
So, I took a moment, dropped the photos back on to the bed and returned to my desk. This kimono wasn’t going to fix itself. Eventually, I will find someone worthy to wear it. But for now, I just wanted it to be complete, accomplished, whole...not in two parts. Two parts mended together to be one.
#SewingPrinceTechnique!!!
