In The Immortal Words Of 2992; We Have A New TV Champion!
Aug 25, 2016 23:57:37 GMT -6
Spencer Adams and Bonnie Blue like this
Post by SHADOWLOVE on Aug 25, 2016 23:57:37 GMT -6
It is often said that a majority of people making a pilgrimage to the Hollywood Wax Museum featuring replicas of celebrities have always been fascinated, awestruck, and scared to death by the inhabitants of disembodied spirits of the deceased who have been the favorite topic of huge Hollywood box-office success. But aside from the smoke-and-mirrors special effects of movie magic, the Hollywood Wax Museum’s Chamber of Horrors featuring classic and current movie monsters possess a real-life, widely feared, honest-to-God, not the God, but A God, Hollywood Blockbuster and Supermodel in all of the sports entertainment business; Your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove.
He’s stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a black leather trench-coat along with Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots. His classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair showing his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes.
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye to remain focused and alert to the surroundings around him. Quietly, to himself, he recites the Hannya-Shin-Kyū, The Heart Mantra, taught to him by his mother as a child to calm his nerves while posing like a fashion model on a catwalk:
“Body is nothing more than emptiness, emptiness is nothing more than body. The body is exactly empty, and emptiness is exactly body. The other four aspects of human existence -- feeling, thought, will, and consciousness -- are likewise nothing more than emptiness, and emptiness nothing more than they. All things are empty: Nothing is born, nothing dies, nothing is pure, nothing is stained, nothing increases and nothing decreases. So, in emptiness, there is no body, no feeling, no thought, no will, no consciousness. There are no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind.There is no seeing, no hearing, no smelling, no tasting, no touching, no imagining.”
“There is nothing seen, nor heard, nor smelled, nor tasted, nor touched, nor imagined. There is no ignorance, and no end to ignorance. There is no old age and death, and no end to old age and death. There is no suffering, no cause of suffering, no end to suffering, no path to follow. There is no attainment of wisdom, and no wisdom to attain.The Bodhisattvas rely on the Perfection of Wisdom, and so with no delusions, they feel no fear, and have Nirvana here and now. All the Buddhas, past, present, and future, rely on the Perfection of Wisdom, and live in full enlightenment. The Perfection of Wisdom is the greatest mantra. It is the clearest mantra, the highest mantra, the mantra that removes all suffering. This is truth that cannot be doubted.”
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei” Ms Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, in her proper place, cradled up against “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
Her raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin encased in a form-fitting a shining metallic gold sequin Mandarin dress with a French-cut up the side to her thigh and shining metallic gold Jimmy Choo stilettos. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
MS. MIYAMOTO: It is very easy to see why the United Championship Infinite has always had quite the fascination with “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san and this Television Championship of theirs. I mean, after all, look at the list of all the undeserving and talentless Champions that have disgraced and discredited one of, if not, the most prestigious Championships in the sports entertainment business with their minuscule title reigns that doesn't even register a blip of the United Championship Infinite’s radar? This Television Championship deserves a whole lot better. And that is why the United Championship Infinite has chosen to bring back Shadowlove-san for yet a third time in the hopes and dreams of bringing honor, respect, and stability back to this already unstable Television Championship. This Television Championship is the only Championship where a Champion must successfully defend his or her Championship, week in and week out, against the very best competition that the United Championship Infinite has to offer. There is no one in this Fatal Four Way Match that is better than “The Prodigal Son and Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san! And it will be a very dangerous and false oversimplification on Mandie Wheeler’s, Kyle Kemp-san’s, and Jericho Salazar-san’s part to believe that “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san won't be the next UCI World Television Champion at Meltdown this Sunday Night. . .
Shadowlove made no physical movements, making the viewing audience at home tingle with anticipation by making the back of their hairs stand up. His heart rate never raises above a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye to remain focused knowing all full well that UCI has been craving for Him to bring back honor, respect, and stability to this already unstable Television Championship from the very onset of this organization's formation. After all, any Television Championship throughout the sports entertainment business is synonymous with his family's pedigree and will always play a very big part in His career, even when He shows no interest in this organization's Television Championship. And now, there was no way for Him to escape the inevitable and fulfill His destiny by becoming the UCI World Television Champion. His low dusky voice rings out fully, with all charm and charisma that one can muster, mister:
SHADOWLOVE: The greatest challenge that a Television Champion faces, each and every week, is none other than with themselves. And as such, Mandie Wheeler, you were just in the right place at the just right time when you won the Television Championship and nothing more. I was the one that served up Jessica, my sweet and innocent dollar bill, Jessica Buck up to Chase Jackson on a silver platter with The Dark Gift on the steel chair, and Chase Jackson couldn't handle the pressure of being Television Champion and served himself “silently” up to you, Mandie Wheeler. Now let's just see how well you do when you are face-to-face with someone more talented than yourself, Kyle Kemp, Jericho Salazar, and all the previous Television Champions, combined, in this Fatal Four Way Match for My Television Championship. The fundamental difference that separates a Television Champion from most of the other Champions in this organization is that the Television Champion not only puts the Championship on the line but also they put their own Championship reputation on the line as well. . .
"PERSONAL JESUS" by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
“The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove bows his head and raises his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
SHADOWLOVE: Mandie, Kyle, Jericho, you are looking at the hardest working wrestler in the UCI, I have faced some of the biggest and littlest names in this organization, 20 some odd opponents in 12 matches, if you are keeping score at home. But, I digress. If I were you, Mandie Wheeler, if I were you, Kyle Kemp, and if I were you, Jericho Salazar, I wouldn't concern myself too much about My win/loss record, 5-7, 6-7 overall, if you’re counting My Tag-team match with David Sanchez. That said, I’ve only actually been pinned only 4 times in the process, if you idiot savants are still scoring at home. But, I digress. The only thing that all three of you stooges should really just focus on is the way that the former Television Champions, Wentworth Updegraff Jr. & Jessica, my sweet and innocent dollar bill, Jessica Buck had to defeated Me to retain their Championships. Wentworth had to grab a handful of my ass and crocodile skinned pants and Jessica, my sweet and innocent dollar bill, Jessica had to leverage herself with both feet on the ropes in order to score the one, two, three. . .
Ms. Miyamoto lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face.
MS. MIYAMOTO: “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san has certainly been the best friend the United Championship Infinite’s Television Championship has ever had, He keeps the Television Championship relevant in this irrelevant world. Mandie Wheeler, you are only the Television Champion because Shadowlove-san has allowed the Television Championship to wallow in mediocrity far too long. Without Shadowlove-san to angrily point a finger at, the United Championship Infinite would have nothing to threaten their Television Champion with except for the likes of Kyle Kemp-san and Jericho Salazar-san. Does Mandie Wheeler really quake in her wrestling boots at the sound of Kyle Kemp-san and Jericho Salazar-san? Shadowlove-san is the only one in this Fatal Four Way Match that leads Mandie Wheeler into the temptation of losing the Television Championship, He has been most deliberately violently cruel towards the likes of Jessica Buck and Erin Fausse, so much so that He will most surely suffer eternal damnation and roast in Hell for his actions against Mandie Wheeler, Kyle Kemp-san, and Jericho Salazar-san when delivering all three of you stooges from evil with The Dark Gift. . .
Shadowlove raises his head showing off his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a “It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas inside the Talking Stick Resort Arena; And everywhere you go in Phoenix, Arizona!” shit-eating grin.
SHADOWLOVE: The very thought of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove, Me, becoming the UCI World Television Champion is the downfall of Western civilization and the end of the world as we know it. Mandie, Kyle, Jericho are you three stooges really ready to disappoint this organization and be condemned for losing the Television Championship to the very likes of Me? After all, I am the only one in this Fatal Four Way Match that the UCI feels a deep-seated repugnant contemptuous hatred for because I just really don't give a fuck what you three idiot savants and everyone else in this organization thinks about Me because I represent and symbolize the productive, euphoric, carnal knowledge and malignant pleasures of the very nature of man. . .
Ms. Miyamoto glides her fingers across Shadowlove’s muscular chest and pickpockets and removes a rolled up copy of the Wall St. Journal. She starts tapping the rolled up copy of the Wall St. Journal into the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Whenever the United Championship Infinite formed, the heroes of the past seem to become the villains of the present. This is the sole distinction between Mandie Wheeler, Kyle Kemp-san, Jericho Salazar-san, and “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. The productive, euphoric, carnal knowledge and malignant pleasures of deep respectful admiration for the arrival of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san onto the Television Championship scene is condemned by Mandie Wheeler, Kyle Kemp-san, Jericho Salazar-san and everyone else in the United Championship Infinite, because it requires very little changeover to transform “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san into one of the most convincing heroes and conniving villains that this organization and the sports entertainment business has ever seen inside and outside of the squared-circle. . .
"WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO (THUNDERDOME)" by Tina Turner starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
“The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove starts to "strip" off his black leather trench-coat like a Chippendale's dancer. Spinning the black leather trench-coat around him like a Matador in a bullring, throwing it up into the air, catching it and putting it back on as if nothing has happened.
SHADOWLOVE: Stupidity has always been part of human nature in the sports entertainment business and no one, and I mean, no one in the UCI has shown that they lack having a good sense of judgement like Jericho Salazar. And no one, and I mean, no one in the UCI is the personification of being one dumb sonuvabitch than that wannabe badass freakarella, Jericho Salazar. Jericho, you are like the turd that won't flush, you circle the bowl and down you go but you always find a way to float your dumbass back up to the top of the toilet that you call your wrestling career. You will always be that tiny little cockroach talking tough in the dark but once the light turns on, you scurrying around because you are, and always will be, just your daddy’s little girl getting your brown-streaked panties in a bunch. . .
“HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
Ms. Miyamoto exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around Shadowlove. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses, showing off her incandescent green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, Shadowlove-san, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: It isn't your fault Jericho Salazar-san that your wannabe cruel and brutal behavior is due to the fact that you were never taught what was right and wrong as a child in your family demographic. After all, when your daddy committed that wrong on you, you should've realized that it was just in your families nature and was just very simply a mistake to the laws of nature. Your family should’ve been truly sorry for what they have done to you over the years and you should've learned from it instead of wanting some more. But that is in your true nature now isn't Jericho Salazar-san, wanting more abuse? If you were truly honest with yourself about what happened in your childhood, you would be smart enough to not repeat the same thing over and over again. But you are you, now aren't you, Jericho Salazar-san? If you were raised in the right environment, then you would have realized that you still have no business even being this Fatal Four Way Match for the Television Championship. There is only way that a charity case like yourself can ease your conscious in life and that is to confess your sins and ask for forgiveness. But you, Jericho Salazar-san, are shit, pardon my French, out of luck and are free to go out and commit the same Salazar-san Family Sin because “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san put The Church Of Erin Fausse out of business. . .
Shadowlove takes a moment of silence for the demise of The Syndicate and drops to his knees like Willem Dafoe in the movie Platoon. He starts laughing like The Joker, in a mixed blend between Jared Leto, Heath Ledger, Jack Nicholson, and Cesar Romero.
SHADOWLOVE: Supposedly, I'm supposed to be impressed with this guy that actually thinks that he is better than Me, Kyle Kemp? Now let me get this straight, Kyle, you haven't been in the UCI for over two months; and then you crawl out from under that rock that you’ve been hiding under; and I am supposed to be afraid of you because of the rumors of a #BeachKrew reunion? Jesus “F’N” Christ, Kyle! The last time you were in the squared-circle with Me was the last time you were in this joint for Christsakes. We were in that Battle Royal where the winner got a shot at either the UCI Rising Stars or Television Title Match at Beachmania. Do you see the irony Kyle? I dumped you and Mr. Tay-Tay, Alex Richards dumped Me, Michael dumped Alex Richards. Everyone in that squared-circle got dumped that night like a prom queen that doesn't put out on prom night, well, everyone except for Michael. And don't get me started on that 12 man clusterfuck of a match when I was teamed up with a bunch of nobodies going against your #BeachKrew? You remember that one Kyle? You really lived up to your name that night too. You were nowhere to be seen that night either. Hell, I was the only one left in the ring when Wade Moor and Johnny Rabid finished Me off in that 12-man Clusterfuck of a Match back in the old place. . .
Ms. Miyamoto runs her hand through Shadowlove's classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and starts twirling his hair with her fingertips with carnal knowledge and malignant pleasure. Shadowlove sticks his right thumb into his mouth and pumps up his left bicep and left pec. He sticks his left thumb into his mouth and pumps up his right bicep and right pec. He starts flexing his biceps and pecs as a malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a “Holy Quick Mandie Wheeler impression Batman. To all my little Mandiemaniacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you will never go wrong." shit-eating grin.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Mandie Wheeler, there will only be one thing that the United Championship Infinite will say about you after you lose the Television Championship to “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san; Mandie Wheeler might be lacking a good sense of judgment but at least she was more courageous than Kyle Kemp-san and Jericho Salazar-san!. . .
Ms. Miyamoto raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face with her middle finger.
SHADOWLOVE: Mandie Wheeler you are done as Television Champion. . . END OF STORY!
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND. . . THE END!
He’s stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a black leather trench-coat along with Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots. His classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair showing his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes.
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye to remain focused and alert to the surroundings around him. Quietly, to himself, he recites the Hannya-Shin-Kyū, The Heart Mantra, taught to him by his mother as a child to calm his nerves while posing like a fashion model on a catwalk:
“Body is nothing more than emptiness, emptiness is nothing more than body. The body is exactly empty, and emptiness is exactly body. The other four aspects of human existence -- feeling, thought, will, and consciousness -- are likewise nothing more than emptiness, and emptiness nothing more than they. All things are empty: Nothing is born, nothing dies, nothing is pure, nothing is stained, nothing increases and nothing decreases. So, in emptiness, there is no body, no feeling, no thought, no will, no consciousness. There are no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind.There is no seeing, no hearing, no smelling, no tasting, no touching, no imagining.”
“There is nothing seen, nor heard, nor smelled, nor tasted, nor touched, nor imagined. There is no ignorance, and no end to ignorance. There is no old age and death, and no end to old age and death. There is no suffering, no cause of suffering, no end to suffering, no path to follow. There is no attainment of wisdom, and no wisdom to attain.The Bodhisattvas rely on the Perfection of Wisdom, and so with no delusions, they feel no fear, and have Nirvana here and now. All the Buddhas, past, present, and future, rely on the Perfection of Wisdom, and live in full enlightenment. The Perfection of Wisdom is the greatest mantra. It is the clearest mantra, the highest mantra, the mantra that removes all suffering. This is truth that cannot be doubted.”
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei” Ms Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, in her proper place, cradled up against “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
Her raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin encased in a form-fitting a shining metallic gold sequin Mandarin dress with a French-cut up the side to her thigh and shining metallic gold Jimmy Choo stilettos. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
MS. MIYAMOTO: It is very easy to see why the United Championship Infinite has always had quite the fascination with “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san and this Television Championship of theirs. I mean, after all, look at the list of all the undeserving and talentless Champions that have disgraced and discredited one of, if not, the most prestigious Championships in the sports entertainment business with their minuscule title reigns that doesn't even register a blip of the United Championship Infinite’s radar? This Television Championship deserves a whole lot better. And that is why the United Championship Infinite has chosen to bring back Shadowlove-san for yet a third time in the hopes and dreams of bringing honor, respect, and stability back to this already unstable Television Championship. This Television Championship is the only Championship where a Champion must successfully defend his or her Championship, week in and week out, against the very best competition that the United Championship Infinite has to offer. There is no one in this Fatal Four Way Match that is better than “The Prodigal Son and Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san! And it will be a very dangerous and false oversimplification on Mandie Wheeler’s, Kyle Kemp-san’s, and Jericho Salazar-san’s part to believe that “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san won't be the next UCI World Television Champion at Meltdown this Sunday Night. . .
Shadowlove made no physical movements, making the viewing audience at home tingle with anticipation by making the back of their hairs stand up. His heart rate never raises above a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye to remain focused knowing all full well that UCI has been craving for Him to bring back honor, respect, and stability to this already unstable Television Championship from the very onset of this organization's formation. After all, any Television Championship throughout the sports entertainment business is synonymous with his family's pedigree and will always play a very big part in His career, even when He shows no interest in this organization's Television Championship. And now, there was no way for Him to escape the inevitable and fulfill His destiny by becoming the UCI World Television Champion. His low dusky voice rings out fully, with all charm and charisma that one can muster, mister:
SHADOWLOVE: The greatest challenge that a Television Champion faces, each and every week, is none other than with themselves. And as such, Mandie Wheeler, you were just in the right place at the just right time when you won the Television Championship and nothing more. I was the one that served up Jessica, my sweet and innocent dollar bill, Jessica Buck up to Chase Jackson on a silver platter with The Dark Gift on the steel chair, and Chase Jackson couldn't handle the pressure of being Television Champion and served himself “silently” up to you, Mandie Wheeler. Now let's just see how well you do when you are face-to-face with someone more talented than yourself, Kyle Kemp, Jericho Salazar, and all the previous Television Champions, combined, in this Fatal Four Way Match for My Television Championship. The fundamental difference that separates a Television Champion from most of the other Champions in this organization is that the Television Champion not only puts the Championship on the line but also they put their own Championship reputation on the line as well. . .
"PERSONAL JESUS" by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
“The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove bows his head and raises his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
SHADOWLOVE: Mandie, Kyle, Jericho, you are looking at the hardest working wrestler in the UCI, I have faced some of the biggest and littlest names in this organization, 20 some odd opponents in 12 matches, if you are keeping score at home. But, I digress. If I were you, Mandie Wheeler, if I were you, Kyle Kemp, and if I were you, Jericho Salazar, I wouldn't concern myself too much about My win/loss record, 5-7, 6-7 overall, if you’re counting My Tag-team match with David Sanchez. That said, I’ve only actually been pinned only 4 times in the process, if you idiot savants are still scoring at home. But, I digress. The only thing that all three of you stooges should really just focus on is the way that the former Television Champions, Wentworth Updegraff Jr. & Jessica, my sweet and innocent dollar bill, Jessica Buck had to defeated Me to retain their Championships. Wentworth had to grab a handful of my ass and crocodile skinned pants and Jessica, my sweet and innocent dollar bill, Jessica had to leverage herself with both feet on the ropes in order to score the one, two, three. . .
Ms. Miyamoto lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face.
MS. MIYAMOTO: “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san has certainly been the best friend the United Championship Infinite’s Television Championship has ever had, He keeps the Television Championship relevant in this irrelevant world. Mandie Wheeler, you are only the Television Champion because Shadowlove-san has allowed the Television Championship to wallow in mediocrity far too long. Without Shadowlove-san to angrily point a finger at, the United Championship Infinite would have nothing to threaten their Television Champion with except for the likes of Kyle Kemp-san and Jericho Salazar-san. Does Mandie Wheeler really quake in her wrestling boots at the sound of Kyle Kemp-san and Jericho Salazar-san? Shadowlove-san is the only one in this Fatal Four Way Match that leads Mandie Wheeler into the temptation of losing the Television Championship, He has been most deliberately violently cruel towards the likes of Jessica Buck and Erin Fausse, so much so that He will most surely suffer eternal damnation and roast in Hell for his actions against Mandie Wheeler, Kyle Kemp-san, and Jericho Salazar-san when delivering all three of you stooges from evil with The Dark Gift. . .
Shadowlove raises his head showing off his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a “It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas inside the Talking Stick Resort Arena; And everywhere you go in Phoenix, Arizona!” shit-eating grin.
SHADOWLOVE: The very thought of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove, Me, becoming the UCI World Television Champion is the downfall of Western civilization and the end of the world as we know it. Mandie, Kyle, Jericho are you three stooges really ready to disappoint this organization and be condemned for losing the Television Championship to the very likes of Me? After all, I am the only one in this Fatal Four Way Match that the UCI feels a deep-seated repugnant contemptuous hatred for because I just really don't give a fuck what you three idiot savants and everyone else in this organization thinks about Me because I represent and symbolize the productive, euphoric, carnal knowledge and malignant pleasures of the very nature of man. . .
Ms. Miyamoto glides her fingers across Shadowlove’s muscular chest and pickpockets and removes a rolled up copy of the Wall St. Journal. She starts tapping the rolled up copy of the Wall St. Journal into the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Whenever the United Championship Infinite formed, the heroes of the past seem to become the villains of the present. This is the sole distinction between Mandie Wheeler, Kyle Kemp-san, Jericho Salazar-san, and “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. The productive, euphoric, carnal knowledge and malignant pleasures of deep respectful admiration for the arrival of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san onto the Television Championship scene is condemned by Mandie Wheeler, Kyle Kemp-san, Jericho Salazar-san and everyone else in the United Championship Infinite, because it requires very little changeover to transform “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san into one of the most convincing heroes and conniving villains that this organization and the sports entertainment business has ever seen inside and outside of the squared-circle. . .
"WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO (THUNDERDOME)" by Tina Turner starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
“The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove starts to "strip" off his black leather trench-coat like a Chippendale's dancer. Spinning the black leather trench-coat around him like a Matador in a bullring, throwing it up into the air, catching it and putting it back on as if nothing has happened.
SHADOWLOVE: Stupidity has always been part of human nature in the sports entertainment business and no one, and I mean, no one in the UCI has shown that they lack having a good sense of judgement like Jericho Salazar. And no one, and I mean, no one in the UCI is the personification of being one dumb sonuvabitch than that wannabe badass freakarella, Jericho Salazar. Jericho, you are like the turd that won't flush, you circle the bowl and down you go but you always find a way to float your dumbass back up to the top of the toilet that you call your wrestling career. You will always be that tiny little cockroach talking tough in the dark but once the light turns on, you scurrying around because you are, and always will be, just your daddy’s little girl getting your brown-streaked panties in a bunch. . .
“HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
Ms. Miyamoto exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around Shadowlove. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses, showing off her incandescent green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, Shadowlove-san, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: It isn't your fault Jericho Salazar-san that your wannabe cruel and brutal behavior is due to the fact that you were never taught what was right and wrong as a child in your family demographic. After all, when your daddy committed that wrong on you, you should've realized that it was just in your families nature and was just very simply a mistake to the laws of nature. Your family should’ve been truly sorry for what they have done to you over the years and you should've learned from it instead of wanting some more. But that is in your true nature now isn't Jericho Salazar-san, wanting more abuse? If you were truly honest with yourself about what happened in your childhood, you would be smart enough to not repeat the same thing over and over again. But you are you, now aren't you, Jericho Salazar-san? If you were raised in the right environment, then you would have realized that you still have no business even being this Fatal Four Way Match for the Television Championship. There is only way that a charity case like yourself can ease your conscious in life and that is to confess your sins and ask for forgiveness. But you, Jericho Salazar-san, are shit, pardon my French, out of luck and are free to go out and commit the same Salazar-san Family Sin because “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san put The Church Of Erin Fausse out of business. . .
Shadowlove takes a moment of silence for the demise of The Syndicate and drops to his knees like Willem Dafoe in the movie Platoon. He starts laughing like The Joker, in a mixed blend between Jared Leto, Heath Ledger, Jack Nicholson, and Cesar Romero.
SHADOWLOVE: Supposedly, I'm supposed to be impressed with this guy that actually thinks that he is better than Me, Kyle Kemp? Now let me get this straight, Kyle, you haven't been in the UCI for over two months; and then you crawl out from under that rock that you’ve been hiding under; and I am supposed to be afraid of you because of the rumors of a #BeachKrew reunion? Jesus “F’N” Christ, Kyle! The last time you were in the squared-circle with Me was the last time you were in this joint for Christsakes. We were in that Battle Royal where the winner got a shot at either the UCI Rising Stars or Television Title Match at Beachmania. Do you see the irony Kyle? I dumped you and Mr. Tay-Tay, Alex Richards dumped Me, Michael dumped Alex Richards. Everyone in that squared-circle got dumped that night like a prom queen that doesn't put out on prom night, well, everyone except for Michael. And don't get me started on that 12 man clusterfuck of a match when I was teamed up with a bunch of nobodies going against your #BeachKrew? You remember that one Kyle? You really lived up to your name that night too. You were nowhere to be seen that night either. Hell, I was the only one left in the ring when Wade Moor and Johnny Rabid finished Me off in that 12-man Clusterfuck of a Match back in the old place. . .
Ms. Miyamoto runs her hand through Shadowlove's classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and starts twirling his hair with her fingertips with carnal knowledge and malignant pleasure. Shadowlove sticks his right thumb into his mouth and pumps up his left bicep and left pec. He sticks his left thumb into his mouth and pumps up his right bicep and right pec. He starts flexing his biceps and pecs as a malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a “Holy Quick Mandie Wheeler impression Batman. To all my little Mandiemaniacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you will never go wrong." shit-eating grin.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Mandie Wheeler, there will only be one thing that the United Championship Infinite will say about you after you lose the Television Championship to “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san; Mandie Wheeler might be lacking a good sense of judgment but at least she was more courageous than Kyle Kemp-san and Jericho Salazar-san!. . .
Ms. Miyamoto raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face with her middle finger.
SHADOWLOVE: Mandie Wheeler you are done as Television Champion. . . END OF STORY!
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND. . . THE END!
