Post by Jericho Salazar on Jul 1, 2016 21:31:11 GMT -6
The bus factory in the shit part of Chicago, a company that used to be in Oakland, California, but moved to Chicago to cut cost. The daily grind here is a 5 am shift with plenty of lazy fuckers who do just enough to not get fired and put the work load on the few people who give a damn. Jericho is one of those people, the kind of guy who needs every bit of scratch he can get my hands on. It’s almost quitting time and he needs to get going so he can to UCI, and just like every time you’re in a hurry, something needs to come up.
Jericho: What do you need Andre?
Andre: OH good Jericho I was looking for you; do you have a minute?
Jericho looks at Andre, dead in the face, as his look sours into a worse scowl than the one he usually wears. He knows for a fact Andre is about to ask him to stay overtime.
Jericho: I know, Steve told me. I’ll as again what do you want?
Andre: Well I need you to go on top of the hybrid bus and fix the connection in the harness.
Jericho: Wait why the fuck am I doing that? Isn’t that Tan’s job?
Andre: Ya but I need you to stay overtime and fix it.
Jericho: Dude, why the fuck don’t he fix it? He’s the one who fucked it all up to begin with!
Andre: Well he needs to leave to pick up his ki-
Jericho cuts him off before he can continue with his excuses.
Jericho: REAAAAAALY? YOU ARE FUCKING ME RIGHT? CUZ HE HAS TO PICK UP HIS CROTCH SPAWN I’M STUCK HERE? THIS IS HELLA FUCKED.
Andre: So can you please fix it?
Breathing heavily with fists clenched so hard his knuckles turn white. Jericho attempts to calm himself before he strangles his supervisor. His scowl has turned for mildly annoyed to teeth grinding anger, every part of him is saying DO IT, THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW.
Jericho: You come to me cuz you know I need the money, so suck a cock Andre, I’ll fix fuck asses job.
Andre: Thanks man.
Jericho: Fuck off.
Jericho runs to his tool box, cussing to himself along the way, to grab what he needs to fix the harness connections inside the bundles loom. As he runs to his box, Jericho grabs a sheet with the problems the bus is having. As he reads the sheet he reads “harness has been replaced, needs install.” He stops dead in his tracks.
Jericho: Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? ANDRE!
Andre had already left forcing Jericho to completely reconnect the harness that had been replaced. A job that would take him nearly an hour to complete. Once that was done he had to sprint to his car and floor it through Chicago rush hour to get to the other side of town where UCI had made its home. Traffic was as horrible as always but it always feels worse when you are in a hurry.
Jericho: Fuck me man. Always, doesn’t matter what happens, I’m always JUST FUCKING SITTING HERE C’MON DUDE FUCKING GO. GOD FUCK how hard is it to merge over, if I give you money will I get a tax write off for helping a retard? OH C’MO- FUCKING SERIOUSLY? WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STOPPED AT A GREEN?
Other Driver: Hey man calm down its just traffic.
Jericho: YOU TALKING TO ME? I’LL FUCKING COME OVER THERE AND SHOVE THAT STEERING WHEEL DOWN YOUR COCK HOLE YOU FAGGOT!
The other driver rolls up his window and keeps looking in the complete opposite direction of Jericho. Going back to focusing on driving, what feels like hours go by as Jericho inches his way towards the UCI building, red light by red light, every stop sign with an old woman crossing the street, and every slow driver who comes to a full and complete stop to turn at a green light. He dealt with it all by pounding his steering wheel, screaming a fountain of expletives, and cranking Mac Dre.
Jericho: God I fucking hate this place. The buildings are all in shitty locations, the city smells like a dead body, I’m how fucking far away from an Ocean? OH YOU KNOW GIVE OR TAKE A FEW THOUGHSAND MILES. Just, ugh fuck me in the ass with an ipad. Thank Christ I’m finally her- OH MY FUCKING GOD WHERE AM I GONNA PARK FOR SHIT SAKE. AHHHH!
Moving to Chicago from Oakland had taken its toll on Jericho. He had given up his home and everyone he knew there, his favorite bar, his favorite route home, his favorite taco bell. But sacrifices needed to be made to keep the lights on, the food on the table, and the healthcare covered by the company. It was only out of necessity that Jericho moved from one shitty place to the other. He missed to salt in the air, the constant threat of death when swimming in the ocean, and Mexican food. Now salt is replaced with smog, swimming in the ocean replaced with rivers, and Mexican food with hotdog vendors. The only things he could cling to that reminds him of home was his taste in music and the people in Chicago are just as vile and vane as they are in the bay area, as well as it being just as likely to get shot at a stop light. His job paid very well but it would never be enough, he would always need more money. That’s why he is at UCI, not for the fame, but for the scratch.
Jericho: Finally got a fucking spot on the other end of the lot. Fucking stupid people who set this thing up with no fucking spot for people like me to load into. Kind of cheap ass fuckery is this anyway. Oh ya don't mind me, just one of the fucking wrestlers walking through the parking lot like a cunt.
Jericho continues his rant as he walks to the entrance for the wrestlers.
Bouncer: Hold on sir… Name?
Jericho: Jericho Salazar.
Bouncer: Umm hold on sir.
The bouncer looks over his clipboard trying to find Jericho’s name on the list. His face turns to confusion as though he is attempting to comprehend the words written on the paper.
Jericho: Need help?
Bouncer: Nah I’m just not good at reading.
Jericho: you… you are joking right?
Bouncer: No.
The bouncer returns to his clipboard looking even more frustrated than before. Slowly pronouncing Jericho’s name as he looks at the paper attached to his clipboard. Finally recognizing something that looks like it could be it. Jericho looks at the bouncer with a face of confusion and bewilderment, which quickly turns to frustration.
Bouncer: Is this you?
Jericho: YES.
Bouncer: Ok go on in take your first right and that will lead you to the men’s locker room.
Jericho: Cool thanks Grundy.
Bouncer: Who?
Jericho, pinching the bridge of his nose go inside and begins his search for the locker room to prepare for the fight. He looks for small details in the walls that could offer him a clue as to where he is in case he needs to get out in a hurry. As he walks he passes by workers too busy to looks up from their clipboards as they get ready for the final touches for the big event. Jericho makes sure to shoulder shove every person unlucky enough to walk near him, never apologizing for his actions and never stopping to help them. He eventually finds the men’s locker room across the hall from the women’s. The door is a dark faded red clumsily painted over the old paint job, from before UCI bought the place.
Jericho opens the door and finds his locker, old rusted with a piece of tape on it that reads J. SALIZER. The locker is old and warn, it’s got rust on the corners and on the hinges so it makes that ear splitting high pitch wine when its opened.
Jericho: Couldn’t even spell my fucking name right? It’s got three A’s in it, what the hell?
Jericho noticed all the other wrestlers who were forced to share a locker room, like inmates in a prison. Then he saw one of his opponents Shane Sayne. Jericho puts his shirt in his locker and sits down at one of the benches that litter the room and stares at his reflection in the mirror.
Jericho: Ok you little punk, that’s it. COME HERE! You think you can say what you want on the internet and get away with it cuz they can’t get you behind a keyboard? WELL IM RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE FAGGOT, COME TAKE A PIECE OF THE CHAMP! You might be one of the stupidest people I’ve ever seen since Kimbo Slice! You put all of your shit on the web for everyone to see!
Well retard I have seen it! I’ve not only seen it all but I’m not impressed! I know exactly what to expect from you! The second you hit that top rope I’m bringing you back down to earth. YOU HEAR ME FUCK FACE, IMMA GROUND YOU! I’m gonna put you on the mat and you don’t get to get back up! You are gonna be lucky if I don’t snap one of your legs and ruin your HIGH FLYING YOUTUBE CARRIER! I’ve got a great new video for your putrid cunt fans to see, it’s called “I got molested by Jericho and I liked it.” Because all I ever hear from you stupid punk kids now a days is, “lol Raped” well now its gonna happen to you ya faggot.
You have absolutely nothing on me you pandering, YouTube nobody. I bet even Keemstar wouldn’t waste his time bothering with you for drama because you are nothing, no drama at all. I hope that once I’m done stomping your fucking dick into the ground, everyone knows that your channel is garbage just like your style!
Turning his attention to Logan who had just appeared via a crack of thunder. Jericho gets right in his face.
Jericho: AND YOU, YOU DIME STORE VIOLENT J WANNA BE! Ill straight fucking end you right here where you stand! What you think some clown is gonna scare me? Faggot I am your worst fucking nightmare! You are even worse than the faggot that’s right behind me because at least he could win a match! You came out and got your fucking balls rocked! And what’s with the clown digs anyway? You look like something some edge lord thirteen-year-old emo fag writes fan fiction about. I bet before this you did magic tricks at emo sad boys birthdays didn’t you? Well let’s see something! Pull your virginity out of a hat, we all know you haven’t lost that yet!
Don’t start crying now dick less the clown, cuz once I get you in that ring, you ain’t gonna do shit. I’m gonna hurt you worse than you can ever imagine, I’m not afraid of you, in fact no one here is. You are just the butt of your own sad joke. But I have a joke for you, man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says treatment is simple, Logan Demon Joker is in town tonight, go see him that should pick your spirits up. Man bursts into tears. Says but doctor I am Logan Demon Joker.
Jericho turns around one final time to see Jessica Buck standing there in her ring attire.
Jericho: AND THEN THERE IS THE CUNT. What bitch, you think you’re something now that you beat a fucking crack head? Bitch, I’m from the bay where the tweakers will stab you, rob you then rape the corpse. I seen hotter bitches with better attitudes than you get pimped out on the daily. And if you think I aint afraid to hit a woman, I will straight pimp slap a hoe in front of your fucking mother, and straight fuck your dad in front of her.
You think you are some fucking hot shot, I am woman hear me roar, proud to be a third wave feminist? Let me ask you a question: if you outside the kitchen, where the fuck my sandwich at? You think you are ready to take on this fucking company? You aren’t even ready for summer you fat cow. Christ bitch why don’t you lose the love handles and put the fork down already. Looking like the white girl precious, “I ATE MAH BABEH”. You know I always thought coke heads were supposed to be skinny. And what is with that face bitch, so ugly blind niggas would turn you down! Moral of the fucking story don’t come here, thinking you are gonna do what man can do because you can’t. You know why you can’t you leathery ass Joanne River looking burn out? Because you are a weak pathetic, excuse for a woman.
I been in factories and seen real women, strong women. I bet you never had a job a day in your life. Sitting there waiting for stupid fuck heads to wait on you hand and foot because you are just a delicate little stink flower. When you step in that ring I’m going to treat you like the abused housewife you really are and you are just going to smile and take it. That’s right bitch after I clobber you I want you to smile, show everyone those missing teeth and when you leave the ring you’re just gonna tell everyone that you fell down a flight of stairs.
I bet you are doing this because deep down you are a failure, never able to make in the real world so you had to come here and try to prove something to daddy, but here is some reality. You are going to fail at this too, you are going let down all of those fans you made and they are going to see you as you really are, a failure. You think that using your sex appeal in the ring is going to help? All that’s gonna happen is you getting beaten to a pulp the second you try that shit on me. Because I’m not attracted to failures and sluts who are too ugly and too uncoordinated to even be a stripper.
The lights begin to flicker on and off as Jericho looks up from the mirror. There is no one in the locker room, except one of the workers standing at the door way flicking the lights on and off.
Worker: Duuuude c’mon. you are on in like one minute.
Jericho: Right, shit. Ummm what way to the stage?
Worker: Down the hall. Make a right. You can’t miss it dude.
Jericho stands from his bench he was at and takes one final glance at the mirror.
Jericho: I gotta stop talking to myself.
Jericho: What do you need Andre?
Andre: OH good Jericho I was looking for you; do you have a minute?
Jericho looks at Andre, dead in the face, as his look sours into a worse scowl than the one he usually wears. He knows for a fact Andre is about to ask him to stay overtime.
Jericho: I know, Steve told me. I’ll as again what do you want?
Andre: Well I need you to go on top of the hybrid bus and fix the connection in the harness.
Jericho: Wait why the fuck am I doing that? Isn’t that Tan’s job?
Andre: Ya but I need you to stay overtime and fix it.
Jericho: Dude, why the fuck don’t he fix it? He’s the one who fucked it all up to begin with!
Andre: Well he needs to leave to pick up his ki-
Jericho cuts him off before he can continue with his excuses.
Jericho: REAAAAAALY? YOU ARE FUCKING ME RIGHT? CUZ HE HAS TO PICK UP HIS CROTCH SPAWN I’M STUCK HERE? THIS IS HELLA FUCKED.
Andre: So can you please fix it?
Breathing heavily with fists clenched so hard his knuckles turn white. Jericho attempts to calm himself before he strangles his supervisor. His scowl has turned for mildly annoyed to teeth grinding anger, every part of him is saying DO IT, THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW.
Jericho: You come to me cuz you know I need the money, so suck a cock Andre, I’ll fix fuck asses job.
Andre: Thanks man.
Jericho: Fuck off.
Jericho runs to his tool box, cussing to himself along the way, to grab what he needs to fix the harness connections inside the bundles loom. As he runs to his box, Jericho grabs a sheet with the problems the bus is having. As he reads the sheet he reads “harness has been replaced, needs install.” He stops dead in his tracks.
Jericho: Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? ANDRE!
Andre had already left forcing Jericho to completely reconnect the harness that had been replaced. A job that would take him nearly an hour to complete. Once that was done he had to sprint to his car and floor it through Chicago rush hour to get to the other side of town where UCI had made its home. Traffic was as horrible as always but it always feels worse when you are in a hurry.
Jericho: Fuck me man. Always, doesn’t matter what happens, I’m always JUST FUCKING SITTING HERE C’MON DUDE FUCKING GO. GOD FUCK how hard is it to merge over, if I give you money will I get a tax write off for helping a retard? OH C’MO- FUCKING SERIOUSLY? WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STOPPED AT A GREEN?
Other Driver: Hey man calm down its just traffic.
Jericho: YOU TALKING TO ME? I’LL FUCKING COME OVER THERE AND SHOVE THAT STEERING WHEEL DOWN YOUR COCK HOLE YOU FAGGOT!
The other driver rolls up his window and keeps looking in the complete opposite direction of Jericho. Going back to focusing on driving, what feels like hours go by as Jericho inches his way towards the UCI building, red light by red light, every stop sign with an old woman crossing the street, and every slow driver who comes to a full and complete stop to turn at a green light. He dealt with it all by pounding his steering wheel, screaming a fountain of expletives, and cranking Mac Dre.
Jericho: God I fucking hate this place. The buildings are all in shitty locations, the city smells like a dead body, I’m how fucking far away from an Ocean? OH YOU KNOW GIVE OR TAKE A FEW THOUGHSAND MILES. Just, ugh fuck me in the ass with an ipad. Thank Christ I’m finally her- OH MY FUCKING GOD WHERE AM I GONNA PARK FOR SHIT SAKE. AHHHH!
Moving to Chicago from Oakland had taken its toll on Jericho. He had given up his home and everyone he knew there, his favorite bar, his favorite route home, his favorite taco bell. But sacrifices needed to be made to keep the lights on, the food on the table, and the healthcare covered by the company. It was only out of necessity that Jericho moved from one shitty place to the other. He missed to salt in the air, the constant threat of death when swimming in the ocean, and Mexican food. Now salt is replaced with smog, swimming in the ocean replaced with rivers, and Mexican food with hotdog vendors. The only things he could cling to that reminds him of home was his taste in music and the people in Chicago are just as vile and vane as they are in the bay area, as well as it being just as likely to get shot at a stop light. His job paid very well but it would never be enough, he would always need more money. That’s why he is at UCI, not for the fame, but for the scratch.
Jericho: Finally got a fucking spot on the other end of the lot. Fucking stupid people who set this thing up with no fucking spot for people like me to load into. Kind of cheap ass fuckery is this anyway. Oh ya don't mind me, just one of the fucking wrestlers walking through the parking lot like a cunt.
Jericho continues his rant as he walks to the entrance for the wrestlers.
Bouncer: Hold on sir… Name?
Jericho: Jericho Salazar.
Bouncer: Umm hold on sir.
The bouncer looks over his clipboard trying to find Jericho’s name on the list. His face turns to confusion as though he is attempting to comprehend the words written on the paper.
Jericho: Need help?
Bouncer: Nah I’m just not good at reading.
Jericho: you… you are joking right?
Bouncer: No.
The bouncer returns to his clipboard looking even more frustrated than before. Slowly pronouncing Jericho’s name as he looks at the paper attached to his clipboard. Finally recognizing something that looks like it could be it. Jericho looks at the bouncer with a face of confusion and bewilderment, which quickly turns to frustration.
Bouncer: Is this you?
Jericho: YES.
Bouncer: Ok go on in take your first right and that will lead you to the men’s locker room.
Jericho: Cool thanks Grundy.
Bouncer: Who?
Jericho, pinching the bridge of his nose go inside and begins his search for the locker room to prepare for the fight. He looks for small details in the walls that could offer him a clue as to where he is in case he needs to get out in a hurry. As he walks he passes by workers too busy to looks up from their clipboards as they get ready for the final touches for the big event. Jericho makes sure to shoulder shove every person unlucky enough to walk near him, never apologizing for his actions and never stopping to help them. He eventually finds the men’s locker room across the hall from the women’s. The door is a dark faded red clumsily painted over the old paint job, from before UCI bought the place.
Jericho opens the door and finds his locker, old rusted with a piece of tape on it that reads J. SALIZER. The locker is old and warn, it’s got rust on the corners and on the hinges so it makes that ear splitting high pitch wine when its opened.
Jericho: Couldn’t even spell my fucking name right? It’s got three A’s in it, what the hell?
Jericho noticed all the other wrestlers who were forced to share a locker room, like inmates in a prison. Then he saw one of his opponents Shane Sayne. Jericho puts his shirt in his locker and sits down at one of the benches that litter the room and stares at his reflection in the mirror.
Jericho: Ok you little punk, that’s it. COME HERE! You think you can say what you want on the internet and get away with it cuz they can’t get you behind a keyboard? WELL IM RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE FAGGOT, COME TAKE A PIECE OF THE CHAMP! You might be one of the stupidest people I’ve ever seen since Kimbo Slice! You put all of your shit on the web for everyone to see!
Well retard I have seen it! I’ve not only seen it all but I’m not impressed! I know exactly what to expect from you! The second you hit that top rope I’m bringing you back down to earth. YOU HEAR ME FUCK FACE, IMMA GROUND YOU! I’m gonna put you on the mat and you don’t get to get back up! You are gonna be lucky if I don’t snap one of your legs and ruin your HIGH FLYING YOUTUBE CARRIER! I’ve got a great new video for your putrid cunt fans to see, it’s called “I got molested by Jericho and I liked it.” Because all I ever hear from you stupid punk kids now a days is, “lol Raped” well now its gonna happen to you ya faggot.
You have absolutely nothing on me you pandering, YouTube nobody. I bet even Keemstar wouldn’t waste his time bothering with you for drama because you are nothing, no drama at all. I hope that once I’m done stomping your fucking dick into the ground, everyone knows that your channel is garbage just like your style!
Turning his attention to Logan who had just appeared via a crack of thunder. Jericho gets right in his face.
Jericho: AND YOU, YOU DIME STORE VIOLENT J WANNA BE! Ill straight fucking end you right here where you stand! What you think some clown is gonna scare me? Faggot I am your worst fucking nightmare! You are even worse than the faggot that’s right behind me because at least he could win a match! You came out and got your fucking balls rocked! And what’s with the clown digs anyway? You look like something some edge lord thirteen-year-old emo fag writes fan fiction about. I bet before this you did magic tricks at emo sad boys birthdays didn’t you? Well let’s see something! Pull your virginity out of a hat, we all know you haven’t lost that yet!
Don’t start crying now dick less the clown, cuz once I get you in that ring, you ain’t gonna do shit. I’m gonna hurt you worse than you can ever imagine, I’m not afraid of you, in fact no one here is. You are just the butt of your own sad joke. But I have a joke for you, man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says treatment is simple, Logan Demon Joker is in town tonight, go see him that should pick your spirits up. Man bursts into tears. Says but doctor I am Logan Demon Joker.
Jericho turns around one final time to see Jessica Buck standing there in her ring attire.
Jericho: AND THEN THERE IS THE CUNT. What bitch, you think you’re something now that you beat a fucking crack head? Bitch, I’m from the bay where the tweakers will stab you, rob you then rape the corpse. I seen hotter bitches with better attitudes than you get pimped out on the daily. And if you think I aint afraid to hit a woman, I will straight pimp slap a hoe in front of your fucking mother, and straight fuck your dad in front of her.
You think you are some fucking hot shot, I am woman hear me roar, proud to be a third wave feminist? Let me ask you a question: if you outside the kitchen, where the fuck my sandwich at? You think you are ready to take on this fucking company? You aren’t even ready for summer you fat cow. Christ bitch why don’t you lose the love handles and put the fork down already. Looking like the white girl precious, “I ATE MAH BABEH”. You know I always thought coke heads were supposed to be skinny. And what is with that face bitch, so ugly blind niggas would turn you down! Moral of the fucking story don’t come here, thinking you are gonna do what man can do because you can’t. You know why you can’t you leathery ass Joanne River looking burn out? Because you are a weak pathetic, excuse for a woman.
I been in factories and seen real women, strong women. I bet you never had a job a day in your life. Sitting there waiting for stupid fuck heads to wait on you hand and foot because you are just a delicate little stink flower. When you step in that ring I’m going to treat you like the abused housewife you really are and you are just going to smile and take it. That’s right bitch after I clobber you I want you to smile, show everyone those missing teeth and when you leave the ring you’re just gonna tell everyone that you fell down a flight of stairs.
I bet you are doing this because deep down you are a failure, never able to make in the real world so you had to come here and try to prove something to daddy, but here is some reality. You are going to fail at this too, you are going let down all of those fans you made and they are going to see you as you really are, a failure. You think that using your sex appeal in the ring is going to help? All that’s gonna happen is you getting beaten to a pulp the second you try that shit on me. Because I’m not attracted to failures and sluts who are too ugly and too uncoordinated to even be a stripper.
The lights begin to flicker on and off as Jericho looks up from the mirror. There is no one in the locker room, except one of the workers standing at the door way flicking the lights on and off.
Worker: Duuuude c’mon. you are on in like one minute.
Jericho: Right, shit. Ummm what way to the stage?
Worker: Down the hall. Make a right. You can’t miss it dude.
Jericho stands from his bench he was at and takes one final glance at the mirror.
Jericho: I gotta stop talking to myself.
