Enter the Masked One (RP#1 for Overload 11/7)
Nov 2, 2016 14:51:35 GMT -6
Spencer Adams, Bonnie Blue, and 3 more like this
Post by Bolas de Arana on Nov 2, 2016 14:51:35 GMT -6
This Vignette is sponsored by Alien Bits…In Space, no one can hear you crunch
The voice of so many famous movie ads is heard. "Monster" by Imagine Dragons plays softly over the video.
“Undefeated in Legacy Wrestling….”
Bolas is seen hitting the MILF Driver, the YGNT, and using the Hand-to-Mouth.
“Number One Contender to the Legacy Title.”
Bolas hitting a MILF Driver on Teo to get the win.
“And then, Legacy closed its doors.”
Bolas walking down a dark hall with a light way way down there at the end.
“But a hero never stops being a hero.”
The shadow of Bolas on a city building, a cape flowing behind him and an odd symbol in the sky, like to marbles in a bag.
“When United Championship Infinite called….Bolas answered!”
A head shot of Bolas with two thumbs up.
“Now the Worlds Favorite Jackass and Hero to the People comes to UCI for one purpose…..to be sexy as hell.”
Bolas with the High School senior pose.
“Prepare to be amazed.”
The music stops with the video fading to black. A quiet, fast speaking voice runs off a list of things as the scene is fading out.
Warning: Bolas promos may contain binge drinking, fried foods, maximum noise output, lonely walks on the beach, obscene language, random words, indecent behavior, substance abuse, tea bagging, random acts of stupidity, video game references, and the occasional nudity.
"Greetings and salutations my Ball-oholics! It is I, the fantastic phenomenon, the man who puts your ex in sex, Bolas "I'm like milk, cause I do a body good" de Arana. Now, as many of you Ballaniacs know, we recently took a spill with Legacy Wrestling. It appears that, with poor management, comes poor decisions. And now, the doors have closed."
"SQWUAK!!"
"Exactly Enrique! I just won the number one contendership to the Legacy title. I was undefeated! And now, well I was sad for a few hours before, low and behold, I saw an ad for UCI on the Twitter feed. So what did your Moms favorite wrestler do? Why I called, I emailed, and I sent up smoke signals to UCI. And here I am, contracted like a case of herpes!"
"CAW!"
"I'm sorry, you know I don't speak hooligan."
"SQWUAK!"
"Oh...right. I don't have herpes...Im just contracted the same....no that isn't right. Contracted like...you know what, I got nothing Enrique. The point is, I am back baby!"
[Bolas double thumbs up the camera, then continues]
"Now I understand that I have to start from the bottom. And just like your Mom, I'm use to the bottom. But I have big aspirations and plan to be on the top faster then that girl named Sinnamon. And what is the best way to do that. To flip, hit, bounce, and roll over not one, not two, but three competitors! And with yours truly in the match, this will be better then Two girls, one cup!
"SQWUAK!"
"Ok, that was a crappy reference. I admit it, I was hitting it below the belt there. But spa-fecally speaking, I think that video has a shitty reputation."
[The mask has that surprised look to it as Bolas puts his hand over his mouth, in that "Oops I did it again" look]
"First on my list of individuals that need a winning personality, is that Michal Whin guy. Seriously, I saw this one promo you did, and I have to admit, I thought it was a Viagra commercial. No joke. It was short, had horrible acting, some whining, something about contacting a doctor or maybe you were pretending to be a doctor. I don't know, but it was horrible. I really don't think your Whinning Formula got you the "whin" you was looking for. I'm sure there was a lot of laughing though, kind of like when you see one of those Viagra commercials and you laugh at the 4 hour erection part, knowing you would more then likely get a high five from your girl if it lasts that long. The Whining Formula isn't working for you. And, it is unfortunate for you, because you are going to run into that same problem this week. Because you have about as much chance of winning this match, as you do winning Publisher's Clearing House."
"Next in this wonderful match, entitled three guys, one girl, is Ursala. Or is it Lillith. See I can't tell. Her bio on UCI.com flips and flops through the names. It's like the darkest game of ping pong, where you can't see what is really happening, but you can hear it. So I will just address you as the name on the marquee. Now Ursala reminds me of a friend of mine, except that she is a woman. And she claims to have magic or something. See, I have magic. It's the magic of sexiness. Its okay, you can stare. I don't mind. Honestly, I know that the spandex suit doesn't hide a lot, so I am more transparent then most people you see on TV."
"SQWUAK!"
"I know the suit isn't transparent! I was, it was just an example. It was all word play my feathered friend. Word play. Anywho, your feminant wiles are not going to work on me Ursula. Mostly cause you just plain frightening. Partial because I will not allow it. I can't. I couldn't allow it before in my other fed, that is how I remained undefeated. And I can't allow it here. I have to go out, show management that I am a star, I am the guy. And if that means Your Gonna Need a Towel after this match, then so be it. You see what I did there Enrique?"
"CAW!"
"And lastly in this match of fun, is the Insane Aussuie Jamo. And wow, is this man nuts. I'm talking, seriously needs a doctor nuts. But I'm friends with a man that has more personalities in his head then the average household. I learned all about crazy. Crazy doesn't scare me. Controlled crazy, well okay that does scare me. It's why me and my friend didn't go out to parties. That man would just as likely use you as a weapon as defend you in a fight. Controlled crazy is a serious problem for me. Do I target Jamo out the gate, or let him wear everyone else down, and then attempt to fight him? In a match like this, there is no right or wrong answer. Its all in how you hold yourself. Ii tend to hold myself to the left, but thats me. Others might be more to the right, or in the middle."
"In the end, this match will be determined by sheer will to win. And my will is indomitable. I will go out there, I will amaze the fans, I will light up the night! And I will steal the show. And a win. And that win will lead to another and another and soon, UCI will have to take notice of me. So hang on my Balloholics, this is going to be a fan-flip-tastic of a ride!"
[Bolas stands, adjusts his tie and walks off seen as the camera fades to black]
Will Bolas rebound from the closure of Legacy?
Can UCI be just the place to display his talents?
Will he ever get a freaking date?
All these questions and more will be answered...as long as you stay tuned!
