A Nightmare On South Street? Shit! How fucking original?
Oct 3, 2016 10:15:38 GMT -6
Alex Richards likes this
Post by SHADOWLOVE on Oct 3, 2016 10:15:38 GMT -6
"ONLY HAPPENS WHEN IT RAINS" by Garbage starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
A fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain seemed to hover more than fell outside the 2300 Arena, best known for Hardcore wrestling, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. A “shadowy” figure walked slowly down South Swanson Street, avoiding streetlights, meshing within the darkness and stopping in front of the multipurpose indoor arena.
Thunder roars and lightning strikes.
The electrostatic discharge of a strong, invisible byproduct of the psychedelic acidic thunderstorm in the far off distance gives the viewing audience at home a glimpse of the “shadowy” figure. The “shadowy” figure is your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove.
He’s stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a black leather trench-coat along with Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots. His classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair is slicked back from the fine mist showing his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes looking up at the old home of Hardcore wrestling, the EC“F’N”W Arena.
Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of his mind's eye, Shadowlove starts to wonder if this place still actually exists or was this all just a nightmarish dream concocted by his own subconscious mind after accepting an invitation to Jayson Price’s remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show knockoff of a Corey Black’s Friday The Thirteenth meets A Nightmare On South Street Redux:
“Who would've thought that after taking World Heavyweight Champion Alex Richards to his limit at Rite Of Passage, yours truly would be returning to a “shit-hole” like Philadelphia, Pennsylvania? There was no love lost between the city of brotherly love and myself. My only historical highlight from that clusterfuck in Pennsylvania was becoming the hottest young free-agent talent in the sports entertainment after the ghost of Joe Paterno invaded my former organization and no child was safe from those left behind and signing a one of the most lucrative contracts ever offered in the United Championship Infinite. A Nightmare On South Street? Shit! How fucking original?”
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helping the preternatural powers in the corner of his mind’s eye remain focused and alert.
“From its very first inception, the United Championship Infinite has been filled with many intriguing ironies and paradoxes but perhaps the most fascinating and beguiling irony and paradox of all has been about the apparent contradictions that seems to follow him around in this organization. The only apparent contradiction that everyone in this organization should be worried about is how he still remains the top contender for the World Heavyweight Championship even after the loss to the World Heavyweight Champion. Oh my critics will try to tell themselves that there is no way in hell that he is still the top contender to the World Heavyweight Championship after losing to Alex Richards. Really? REALLY?! You see when opportunity comes a knockin’ in the United Championship Infinite, it is most likely “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove that is a rockin’ on the other side of the door of opportunity. And being quite the opportunist that I am, I am never one to pass up the golden opportunity to redefine the way people should look at World Heavyweight Championship in the United Championship Infinite.”
He performs an old fashioned Booker T “Spinaroonie” style move then stands up posing like a fashion model on a catwalk as if nothing has happened.
“Now I've heard all the stories about David Sanchez, how he was some kind of “Legend In His Own Mind” and “Badass Freakarella” trying to make a comeback by reliving past glories here in the United Championship Infinite. HMPT! To see David Sanchez live and in living color and hearing about old wives tales about him, I wasn't that impressed, he just seemed a whole lot taller and bigger on television and nothing special. After all, the sports entertainment business is built on old wives tales of “Badass Freakarellas” like David Sanchez who huff and puff trying to do stuff, only to blow their own house down because they couldn't hang in an organization like the United Championship Infinite and had to tuck-tail and run back home to his “safe” house. David Sanchez simply saw the writing on the wall when I came a knocking on The Syndicate’s front door and ended the careers of two of their highly touted members, Jessica Buck and Erin Fausse, with The Dark Gift. . .”
He raises his head, showing off a fighter's face, with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes and showing off showing off his patented malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing over his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in an “Chicks really do dig me but they sure the hell don't dig The Dark Gift, suckas!” shit-eating grin.
As if on cue. . .
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei” Ms Miyamoto appears out of nowhere from the darkness carrying an open stark white Persolé Skull Umbrella protecting herself fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain.
The simply ravishing femme fatale temptress’ raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin encased in a form-fitting stark white Mandarin sequin dress with a French-cut up the side to her thigh and stark white Jimmy Choo stilettos. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
MS. MIYAMOTO: Mandie Wheeler, being a former Television Champion, you kept on wishing upon a star and now just take a good look where you are? You really should've turned north on Elm Street instead of having A Nightmare On South Street. Then again, you really do love walking in Shadowlove-san’s shadow, if you will, now don't you? Even being a former Television Champion, you have had a hard time earning the respect and recognition that you so richly crave and deserve. And unlike the World Heavyweight Champion Alex Richards-san, Shadowlove-san and myself really do have the utmost respect for the former Television Champion Mandie Wheeler. She has seen what everyone else in this organization has seen in how easy it was for Shadowlove-san to use his influential manipulative personality to redefine the World Heavyweight Championship without even having the World Heavyweight Championship around his waist. Mandie Wheeler, do you really believe that a former Television Champion can actually do the one thing that the World Heavyweight Champion couldn't even accomplish and end Shadowlove-san’s career?. . .
Ms. Miyamoto lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face showing off the incandescent green eyes of the Goddess of Shadowlove and a 21st century female samurai warrior known for her bravery.
MS. MIYAMOTO: After all, Shadowlove-san singlehandedly turned one of Alex Richards-san’s world famous meaningless “Non-title” matches into one of the highest rated opening main event World Heavyweight Championship matches of all time in the United Championship Infinite. It was Shadowlove-san, and not Alex Richards-san, that made the World Heavyweight Championship relevant in the United Championship Infinite in Alex Richards-san’s irrelevant World Heavyweight Championship reign. And all that Alex Richards-san can do now after defeating Shadowlove-san is look at himself in the mirror on the wall while patting himself on the back asking the mirror, “Who’s the fairy-est World Heavyweight Champion of them all?” Only time will tell if Alex Richards-san reputation will revert back to his old ways of being just another mediocre World Heavyweight Champion by dishonoring, disrespecting, and disgracing the World Heavyweight Championship and the UCI with his world famous meaningless “non-title” matches?. . .
Shadowlove and Ms. Miyamoto start the dance of passion, a Sexy “Dynamic Duo” Tango, in fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain. The fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain starts mysteriously pulsating. The fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain seems to move in rhythm matching every dip and sweep coming from the Sexy “The Dynamic Duo” Tango. His low dusky voice rings out fully, with all charm and charisma that one can muster, mister:
SHADOWLOVE: Mandie Wheeler, the only reason that you were the Television Champion in the first place was that I didn't want to dumb myself down by the constraints that defines the Television Championship and nothing more. Was I the one that you pinned in the fatal four way match with Kyle Kemp and Jericho Salazar to gain the Television Championship in the first place? Nope. There will be no one between us this time at A Nightmare On South Street, it will just you and myself, mano-e-mano, no titles on the line, in the squared-circle. And unfortunately for you, my seductive handsomeness has had quite the side-effect on women both inside and outside of the squared-circle. Just ask Jessica, my sweet and innocent Jessica Buck, Erin Fausse, and the World Heavyweight Champion’s handicapped parking main squeeze, Rebecca Thatch? Oh wait, two out of the three aren't even around here anymore. Nevermind. Rebecca Thatch will only tell you how sinfully delightful she was to have her face buried in Alex Richards half-brother, Shaun Zach Richards, groin. The Dark Gift does truly work in mysterious ways and has a seemingly deliberate and obstinate desire to behave in such a way that is unreasonable, unacceptable, and more often, than not, doesn't really discriminate between man and/or women when dealing spitefully with the consequences of your actions Mandie Wheeler. . .
While Shadowlove and Ms. Miyamoto seamlessly choreograph every dip and sweep coming from the Sexy “The Dynamic Duo” Tango, Shadowlove leans over and passionately kisses Ms. Miyamoto’s alluring lips. As the kiss becomes more passionate, Ms. Miyamoto leans slightly backwards shifting her center of gravity while bending her leg at the knee for counterbalance. She leans her head back and looks at the viewing audience at home.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Mandie Wheeler, do we really have to go any further past this point of no return? There are no signs on A Nightmare On South Street that are telling you to turn back, there is just the very image of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san presence turning you on and making you crave even more. But even the good girl type of woman, like yourself, that is trying so desperately to become a bad girl has always been hypnotized by the seductive handsomeness that exudes from the very presence of being inside and outside of the squared-circle with “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. . .
She finger walks her index and middle finger across his muscular pec and reaches inside his black leather trench-coat and removes a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal.
MS. MIYAMOTO: The simple paradoxical differences between yourself and Shadowlove-san inside and outside of the squared-circle has been while you are trying to make the transition from being a good little girl to a very bad little girl, Shadowlove-san has always been who he has always been inside and outside of the squared-circle. The way people have judged Shadowlove-san both inside and outside of the squared-circle has always been open to a matter of interpretation by the viewing audience at home, inside the arena, and ever’body in the United Championship Infinite. So what is there about Mandie Wheeler that can be so thrilling and threatening to the viewing audience at home, the audience in the arena, ever’body in the United Championship Infinite, and to “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san?. . .
"PERSONAL JESUS" by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
“The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove bows his head and raises his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
SHADOWLOVE: Even though there is a little more “T” and a little more “A” added to your hourglass figure might make you more popular among the freaks and geeks out there, it takes more than your better than average good looks and attitude adjustment to impress the hell out of me. Your mother may have acted like a surrogate father to you but that just showed the world how exploited and mistreated you have been throughout your career. The UCI Hierarchy may want me to degrade and humiliate you at A Nightmare On South Street but why should I give the UCI Fandom the feeding frenzy that would only benefit Jayson Price and A Nightmare On South Street? What needs to be really stressed here is that I like you Mandie, the same way that I liked Jessica, my sweet and innocent Jessica Buck and Erin Fausse. And we all know how that turned out?. . .
Ms. Miyamoto takes her proper place cradled up against Shadowlove's body and starts caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
MS. MIYAMOTO: As thrilling and threatening Mandie Wheeler appears to the viewing audience at home, the live audience in the arena, and ever’body in the United Championship Infinite, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san’s passivity in this match only feeds the beast of burden of The Dark Gift and the likelihood that eventually you will ironically be totally waving a white flag surrendering yourself to a very tantalizing and threatening one, two, three. Your high testosterone level may or may not be a determining factor in the match, Shadowlove-san’s ruthless aggressiveness and willingness to break every rule will play quite a factor in this match. That is something that comes quite naturally to him and not some kind of wonderful thing that Mandie Wheeler finds in a bottle that becomes quite the problematic complexity for you when Shadowlove-san is humiliating and degrading you inside and outside of the squared-circle. . .
Shadowlove starts to "strip" off his black leather trench-coat like a Chippendale's dancer. Spinning the black leather trench-coat around him like a Matador in a bullring, throwing it up into the air, catching it and putting it back on as if nothing has happened.
SHADOWLOVE: The most fascinating aspect of this match will be no matter how much you fight, how much you object, the outcome will be the same. The UCI will truly see how outside the comfort zone that a good girl type of woman, like yourself, that is trying so desperately to become a bad girl with reckless abandon, will go in order to pull out a victory at A Nightmare On South Street. As a “professional” wrestler and “professional” fashion model, I have payed very close attention to your In-Ring abilities and can determine quite easily when you have had enough and reached your limitations. It takes better training and more experience than being a former Television Champion in order to physically and mentally influence and manipulate an outcome of a match. . .
“HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
Ms. Miyamoto exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around Shadowlove. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses, showing off her incandescent green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, Shadowlove-san, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: What is perhaps the most interesting thing in the sports entertainment business among all the wannabe Alpha and Omega males, and the bitchiest, pardon my French, of testosterone women like yourself, Mandie Wheeler, is that there is an apex predator, a Guardian Angel, if you will, like “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san that quietly bides his time flying around the United Championship Infinite under the radar until when opportunity knocks once again and he is called upon to do what he does best and watch over and protect this organization from mediocrity. Complacency then comes complacent as Shadowlove-san becomes the gatekeeper for all the good and bad things that comes along to those whom who have to wait and take a number until Shadowlove-san gets back to you. . .
Shadowlove raises his head, showing off a fighter's face, with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes and showing off showing off his patented malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing over his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in an “Dudley Do Right or is that a Snidely Whiplash” shit-eating grin.
SHADOWLOVE: So now, Mandie Wheeler, do very driven, amped up on testosterone type of women like yourself really experience an erotically charged up feeling of cherished adoration for craving the ultimate aphrodisiac known to man and women, that is as “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove? I know that you are totally enamored with my boundless passion for this organization and the sports entertainment business, so much so, that you would do anything to be inside and outside of the squared-circle with me. But I am way too cunning for the obsessive desire that you have towards me. However much that obsession is for me, you will always be placed in dire straits. You know all full well that when you played the “victim” card hoping your career would flourish under the sympathy of being the damsel in distress with the implication that you were a woman in need of rescue by a knight in shining armor, that you placed “The Handsome Half-breed” into quite the unconsciously, consciously, cunning predicament in order to gain the upper hand. But this isn't some true romance from a dime store telenovela that you find in México or here in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This is the UCI for God's sake, you know the place where everything in the modern world has been turned upside down and inside out? Where ambiguities and paradoxes run amuck like The Dark Gift that I will bestow upon you, Mandie Wheeler, at A Nightmare On South Street!. . .
A stark white stretch limousine, with a 10” lift and 38” rims and the toughest, most versatile off-road tires ever made, 38.5X14.50X15C Interco Super Swamper TSL/SX Bias-Ply tires with Vantablack mud flaps with a 3 1/2" by 2 1/4" chrome sexy cowgirl insignia and personalized license plate “Hariuddoburondo”, enters the scene from left to right in front of the old home of Hardcore wrestling, the EC“F’N”W Arena, 2300 Arena.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Now, Mandie Wheeler, do you see what you have done? You have unequivocally made The Dark Gift hopelessly enamored with you. The Dark Gift is now totally dedicated and committed its emotional attachment towards you. Historically, a great number of women have been in the spotlight of The Dark Gift’s non-consensual, and even degrading, deflowering by this, this anti-hero that you have come to love, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. But there is nonetheless a certain consensual agreement with the vicarious victim, such as yourself Mandie Wheeler, in such a dangerous, threatening, yet terribly exciting, experience of being delivered from evil by The Dark Gift. That is to say, once that you have been embraced by “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san, you essentially and voluntarily will brutally bask in the very physically irresistible and mentally disturbing essence of The Dark Gift. The formulaic ending of the innocence lost, tamed and conquered, Mandie Wheeler, at A Nightmare On South Street by The Dark Gift will serve notice to the entire United Championship Infinite that “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san is, and will always be, the strong, steady, safe, protective Guardian Angel of what dreams and nightmares may come to the United Championship Infinite.
A Japanese chauffeur, black chauffeur hat, jet-black crew-cut hair, sunglasses, custom-made black Giorgio Armani business suit, opens the rear passenger door. Ms Miyamoto raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face with her middle finger and enters the back of the limousine with Bushidō catlike precision.
The Japanese chauffeur bows to Shadowlove and interlocks his fingers together making a makeshift catapult with both his hands. The Japanese chauffeur looks at Shadowlove, then the makeshift catapult with both his hands, then back at Shadowlove. Shadowlove puts his hands on both shoulders of the Japanese chauffeur and his Alligator skinned boot into the Japanese chauffeur’s makeshift catapult. Shadowlove is last seen flying through into the air in a catapult style slingshot type of gesture and into the back of the stark white stretch limousine.
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND. . . THE END!
A fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain seemed to hover more than fell outside the 2300 Arena, best known for Hardcore wrestling, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. A “shadowy” figure walked slowly down South Swanson Street, avoiding streetlights, meshing within the darkness and stopping in front of the multipurpose indoor arena.
Thunder roars and lightning strikes.
The electrostatic discharge of a strong, invisible byproduct of the psychedelic acidic thunderstorm in the far off distance gives the viewing audience at home a glimpse of the “shadowy” figure. The “shadowy” figure is your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove.
He’s stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a black leather trench-coat along with Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots. His classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair is slicked back from the fine mist showing his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes looking up at the old home of Hardcore wrestling, the EC“F’N”W Arena.
Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of his mind's eye, Shadowlove starts to wonder if this place still actually exists or was this all just a nightmarish dream concocted by his own subconscious mind after accepting an invitation to Jayson Price’s remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show knockoff of a Corey Black’s Friday The Thirteenth meets A Nightmare On South Street Redux:
“Who would've thought that after taking World Heavyweight Champion Alex Richards to his limit at Rite Of Passage, yours truly would be returning to a “shit-hole” like Philadelphia, Pennsylvania? There was no love lost between the city of brotherly love and myself. My only historical highlight from that clusterfuck in Pennsylvania was becoming the hottest young free-agent talent in the sports entertainment after the ghost of Joe Paterno invaded my former organization and no child was safe from those left behind and signing a one of the most lucrative contracts ever offered in the United Championship Infinite. A Nightmare On South Street? Shit! How fucking original?”
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helping the preternatural powers in the corner of his mind’s eye remain focused and alert.
“From its very first inception, the United Championship Infinite has been filled with many intriguing ironies and paradoxes but perhaps the most fascinating and beguiling irony and paradox of all has been about the apparent contradictions that seems to follow him around in this organization. The only apparent contradiction that everyone in this organization should be worried about is how he still remains the top contender for the World Heavyweight Championship even after the loss to the World Heavyweight Champion. Oh my critics will try to tell themselves that there is no way in hell that he is still the top contender to the World Heavyweight Championship after losing to Alex Richards. Really? REALLY?! You see when opportunity comes a knockin’ in the United Championship Infinite, it is most likely “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove that is a rockin’ on the other side of the door of opportunity. And being quite the opportunist that I am, I am never one to pass up the golden opportunity to redefine the way people should look at World Heavyweight Championship in the United Championship Infinite.”
He performs an old fashioned Booker T “Spinaroonie” style move then stands up posing like a fashion model on a catwalk as if nothing has happened.
“Now I've heard all the stories about David Sanchez, how he was some kind of “Legend In His Own Mind” and “Badass Freakarella” trying to make a comeback by reliving past glories here in the United Championship Infinite. HMPT! To see David Sanchez live and in living color and hearing about old wives tales about him, I wasn't that impressed, he just seemed a whole lot taller and bigger on television and nothing special. After all, the sports entertainment business is built on old wives tales of “Badass Freakarellas” like David Sanchez who huff and puff trying to do stuff, only to blow their own house down because they couldn't hang in an organization like the United Championship Infinite and had to tuck-tail and run back home to his “safe” house. David Sanchez simply saw the writing on the wall when I came a knocking on The Syndicate’s front door and ended the careers of two of their highly touted members, Jessica Buck and Erin Fausse, with The Dark Gift. . .”
He raises his head, showing off a fighter's face, with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes and showing off showing off his patented malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing over his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in an “Chicks really do dig me but they sure the hell don't dig The Dark Gift, suckas!” shit-eating grin.
As if on cue. . .
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei” Ms Miyamoto appears out of nowhere from the darkness carrying an open stark white Persolé Skull Umbrella protecting herself fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain.
The simply ravishing femme fatale temptress’ raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin encased in a form-fitting stark white Mandarin sequin dress with a French-cut up the side to her thigh and stark white Jimmy Choo stilettos. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
MS. MIYAMOTO: Mandie Wheeler, being a former Television Champion, you kept on wishing upon a star and now just take a good look where you are? You really should've turned north on Elm Street instead of having A Nightmare On South Street. Then again, you really do love walking in Shadowlove-san’s shadow, if you will, now don't you? Even being a former Television Champion, you have had a hard time earning the respect and recognition that you so richly crave and deserve. And unlike the World Heavyweight Champion Alex Richards-san, Shadowlove-san and myself really do have the utmost respect for the former Television Champion Mandie Wheeler. She has seen what everyone else in this organization has seen in how easy it was for Shadowlove-san to use his influential manipulative personality to redefine the World Heavyweight Championship without even having the World Heavyweight Championship around his waist. Mandie Wheeler, do you really believe that a former Television Champion can actually do the one thing that the World Heavyweight Champion couldn't even accomplish and end Shadowlove-san’s career?. . .
Ms. Miyamoto lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face showing off the incandescent green eyes of the Goddess of Shadowlove and a 21st century female samurai warrior known for her bravery.
MS. MIYAMOTO: After all, Shadowlove-san singlehandedly turned one of Alex Richards-san’s world famous meaningless “Non-title” matches into one of the highest rated opening main event World Heavyweight Championship matches of all time in the United Championship Infinite. It was Shadowlove-san, and not Alex Richards-san, that made the World Heavyweight Championship relevant in the United Championship Infinite in Alex Richards-san’s irrelevant World Heavyweight Championship reign. And all that Alex Richards-san can do now after defeating Shadowlove-san is look at himself in the mirror on the wall while patting himself on the back asking the mirror, “Who’s the fairy-est World Heavyweight Champion of them all?” Only time will tell if Alex Richards-san reputation will revert back to his old ways of being just another mediocre World Heavyweight Champion by dishonoring, disrespecting, and disgracing the World Heavyweight Championship and the UCI with his world famous meaningless “non-title” matches?. . .
Shadowlove and Ms. Miyamoto start the dance of passion, a Sexy “Dynamic Duo” Tango, in fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain. The fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain starts mysteriously pulsating. The fine mist of psychedelic acidic rain seems to move in rhythm matching every dip and sweep coming from the Sexy “The Dynamic Duo” Tango. His low dusky voice rings out fully, with all charm and charisma that one can muster, mister:
SHADOWLOVE: Mandie Wheeler, the only reason that you were the Television Champion in the first place was that I didn't want to dumb myself down by the constraints that defines the Television Championship and nothing more. Was I the one that you pinned in the fatal four way match with Kyle Kemp and Jericho Salazar to gain the Television Championship in the first place? Nope. There will be no one between us this time at A Nightmare On South Street, it will just you and myself, mano-e-mano, no titles on the line, in the squared-circle. And unfortunately for you, my seductive handsomeness has had quite the side-effect on women both inside and outside of the squared-circle. Just ask Jessica, my sweet and innocent Jessica Buck, Erin Fausse, and the World Heavyweight Champion’s handicapped parking main squeeze, Rebecca Thatch? Oh wait, two out of the three aren't even around here anymore. Nevermind. Rebecca Thatch will only tell you how sinfully delightful she was to have her face buried in Alex Richards half-brother, Shaun Zach Richards, groin. The Dark Gift does truly work in mysterious ways and has a seemingly deliberate and obstinate desire to behave in such a way that is unreasonable, unacceptable, and more often, than not, doesn't really discriminate between man and/or women when dealing spitefully with the consequences of your actions Mandie Wheeler. . .
While Shadowlove and Ms. Miyamoto seamlessly choreograph every dip and sweep coming from the Sexy “The Dynamic Duo” Tango, Shadowlove leans over and passionately kisses Ms. Miyamoto’s alluring lips. As the kiss becomes more passionate, Ms. Miyamoto leans slightly backwards shifting her center of gravity while bending her leg at the knee for counterbalance. She leans her head back and looks at the viewing audience at home.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Mandie Wheeler, do we really have to go any further past this point of no return? There are no signs on A Nightmare On South Street that are telling you to turn back, there is just the very image of “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san presence turning you on and making you crave even more. But even the good girl type of woman, like yourself, that is trying so desperately to become a bad girl has always been hypnotized by the seductive handsomeness that exudes from the very presence of being inside and outside of the squared-circle with “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. . .
She finger walks her index and middle finger across his muscular pec and reaches inside his black leather trench-coat and removes a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal.
MS. MIYAMOTO: The simple paradoxical differences between yourself and Shadowlove-san inside and outside of the squared-circle has been while you are trying to make the transition from being a good little girl to a very bad little girl, Shadowlove-san has always been who he has always been inside and outside of the squared-circle. The way people have judged Shadowlove-san both inside and outside of the squared-circle has always been open to a matter of interpretation by the viewing audience at home, inside the arena, and ever’body in the United Championship Infinite. So what is there about Mandie Wheeler that can be so thrilling and threatening to the viewing audience at home, the audience in the arena, ever’body in the United Championship Infinite, and to “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san?. . .
"PERSONAL JESUS" by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
“The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove bows his head and raises his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
SHADOWLOVE: Even though there is a little more “T” and a little more “A” added to your hourglass figure might make you more popular among the freaks and geeks out there, it takes more than your better than average good looks and attitude adjustment to impress the hell out of me. Your mother may have acted like a surrogate father to you but that just showed the world how exploited and mistreated you have been throughout your career. The UCI Hierarchy may want me to degrade and humiliate you at A Nightmare On South Street but why should I give the UCI Fandom the feeding frenzy that would only benefit Jayson Price and A Nightmare On South Street? What needs to be really stressed here is that I like you Mandie, the same way that I liked Jessica, my sweet and innocent Jessica Buck and Erin Fausse. And we all know how that turned out?. . .
Ms. Miyamoto takes her proper place cradled up against Shadowlove's body and starts caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
MS. MIYAMOTO: As thrilling and threatening Mandie Wheeler appears to the viewing audience at home, the live audience in the arena, and ever’body in the United Championship Infinite, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san’s passivity in this match only feeds the beast of burden of The Dark Gift and the likelihood that eventually you will ironically be totally waving a white flag surrendering yourself to a very tantalizing and threatening one, two, three. Your high testosterone level may or may not be a determining factor in the match, Shadowlove-san’s ruthless aggressiveness and willingness to break every rule will play quite a factor in this match. That is something that comes quite naturally to him and not some kind of wonderful thing that Mandie Wheeler finds in a bottle that becomes quite the problematic complexity for you when Shadowlove-san is humiliating and degrading you inside and outside of the squared-circle. . .
Shadowlove starts to "strip" off his black leather trench-coat like a Chippendale's dancer. Spinning the black leather trench-coat around him like a Matador in a bullring, throwing it up into the air, catching it and putting it back on as if nothing has happened.
SHADOWLOVE: The most fascinating aspect of this match will be no matter how much you fight, how much you object, the outcome will be the same. The UCI will truly see how outside the comfort zone that a good girl type of woman, like yourself, that is trying so desperately to become a bad girl with reckless abandon, will go in order to pull out a victory at A Nightmare On South Street. As a “professional” wrestler and “professional” fashion model, I have payed very close attention to your In-Ring abilities and can determine quite easily when you have had enough and reached your limitations. It takes better training and more experience than being a former Television Champion in order to physically and mentally influence and manipulate an outcome of a match. . .
“HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
Ms. Miyamoto exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around Shadowlove. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses, showing off her incandescent green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, Shadowlove-san, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
MS. MIYAMOTO: What is perhaps the most interesting thing in the sports entertainment business among all the wannabe Alpha and Omega males, and the bitchiest, pardon my French, of testosterone women like yourself, Mandie Wheeler, is that there is an apex predator, a Guardian Angel, if you will, like “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san that quietly bides his time flying around the United Championship Infinite under the radar until when opportunity knocks once again and he is called upon to do what he does best and watch over and protect this organization from mediocrity. Complacency then comes complacent as Shadowlove-san becomes the gatekeeper for all the good and bad things that comes along to those whom who have to wait and take a number until Shadowlove-san gets back to you. . .
Shadowlove raises his head, showing off a fighter's face, with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes and showing off showing off his patented malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing over his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in an “Dudley Do Right or is that a Snidely Whiplash” shit-eating grin.
SHADOWLOVE: So now, Mandie Wheeler, do very driven, amped up on testosterone type of women like yourself really experience an erotically charged up feeling of cherished adoration for craving the ultimate aphrodisiac known to man and women, that is as “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove? I know that you are totally enamored with my boundless passion for this organization and the sports entertainment business, so much so, that you would do anything to be inside and outside of the squared-circle with me. But I am way too cunning for the obsessive desire that you have towards me. However much that obsession is for me, you will always be placed in dire straits. You know all full well that when you played the “victim” card hoping your career would flourish under the sympathy of being the damsel in distress with the implication that you were a woman in need of rescue by a knight in shining armor, that you placed “The Handsome Half-breed” into quite the unconsciously, consciously, cunning predicament in order to gain the upper hand. But this isn't some true romance from a dime store telenovela that you find in México or here in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This is the UCI for God's sake, you know the place where everything in the modern world has been turned upside down and inside out? Where ambiguities and paradoxes run amuck like The Dark Gift that I will bestow upon you, Mandie Wheeler, at A Nightmare On South Street!. . .
A stark white stretch limousine, with a 10” lift and 38” rims and the toughest, most versatile off-road tires ever made, 38.5X14.50X15C Interco Super Swamper TSL/SX Bias-Ply tires with Vantablack mud flaps with a 3 1/2" by 2 1/4" chrome sexy cowgirl insignia and personalized license plate “Hariuddoburondo”, enters the scene from left to right in front of the old home of Hardcore wrestling, the EC“F’N”W Arena, 2300 Arena.
MS. MIYAMOTO: Now, Mandie Wheeler, do you see what you have done? You have unequivocally made The Dark Gift hopelessly enamored with you. The Dark Gift is now totally dedicated and committed its emotional attachment towards you. Historically, a great number of women have been in the spotlight of The Dark Gift’s non-consensual, and even degrading, deflowering by this, this anti-hero that you have come to love, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san. But there is nonetheless a certain consensual agreement with the vicarious victim, such as yourself Mandie Wheeler, in such a dangerous, threatening, yet terribly exciting, experience of being delivered from evil by The Dark Gift. That is to say, once that you have been embraced by “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san, you essentially and voluntarily will brutally bask in the very physically irresistible and mentally disturbing essence of The Dark Gift. The formulaic ending of the innocence lost, tamed and conquered, Mandie Wheeler, at A Nightmare On South Street by The Dark Gift will serve notice to the entire United Championship Infinite that “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san is, and will always be, the strong, steady, safe, protective Guardian Angel of what dreams and nightmares may come to the United Championship Infinite.
A Japanese chauffeur, black chauffeur hat, jet-black crew-cut hair, sunglasses, custom-made black Giorgio Armani business suit, opens the rear passenger door. Ms Miyamoto raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face with her middle finger and enters the back of the limousine with Bushidō catlike precision.
The Japanese chauffeur bows to Shadowlove and interlocks his fingers together making a makeshift catapult with both his hands. The Japanese chauffeur looks at Shadowlove, then the makeshift catapult with both his hands, then back at Shadowlove. Shadowlove puts his hands on both shoulders of the Japanese chauffeur and his Alligator skinned boot into the Japanese chauffeur’s makeshift catapult. Shadowlove is last seen flying through into the air in a catapult style slingshot type of gesture and into the back of the stark white stretch limousine.
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND. . . THE END!