The Guardians' Guide to the Galaxy
May 12, 2016 14:55:28 GMT -6
Spencer Adams, Wentworth Updegraff Jr., and 11 more like this
Post by The Polar Phantasm on May 12, 2016 14:55:28 GMT -6
[We begin in the bright light of the Springtime sun... God's flashlight beams down upon a greying man in a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt and grey cargo shorts. He sits in a desk chair on a rickety old wooden porch, smoking a cigarette and sweating through his clothes.]
Comedian: Just what is reality, anyway?
[He turns to the camera, continuing his line of questioning.]
Comedian: I mean, what makes the reality I perceive any more or less real than one someone else perceives? If I alter my perception through change in worldview or accepting a religion or using a shitload of drugs, does the world change or do I? Or both?
[He shrugs, shaking his head.]
Comedian: Ah, the dangers of philosophy. Now I'm not sure what the hell I believe.
[He laughs, taking a puff of his Pall Mall.]
Comedian: The universe we will be existing in will be a strange one, full of surprises and actiion. But it was not always the universe; its Big Bang was recent, and it eclipsed the universe we did live in with force. Most everyone accepted this change in reality, some as easily as the passing of the days... but a few people noticed the change, and some of them were just a bit inquisitive as to their universe's new nature.
[The Comedian stands, brushing his inexplicably multi-angled hair out of his face.]
Comedian: Three of these people will put their heads together to discover just what's up with feds, the universe and everything... it's their destiny. To answer the great questions, to discover the Ultimate Answer... spoiler alert, it's 42.
[He smiles, rolling his eyes.]
Comedian: Had to work that in here somewhere. So here, then, do we begin The Guardians' Guide to the Galaxy... here, then, do we begin United Championship Infinite. Here, then... do we begin, again. Come along with us, will ya? Don't forget your towel.
[He laughs, briefly... then the Comedian walks away, leaving us to stare at the blinding heat of New Orleans.]
Comedian (off-screen): Stay frosty, y'all.
--------------------------------------
"...kiss me, I kiss you... I know about you.
I been told about you...
...I been waitin' on you where the air's thin." -Underworld, Moaner
“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.” -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
--------------------------------------
POLAR PHANTASM #1: The Guardians' Guide to the Galaxy
--------------------------------------
[Scene: New Antarctica, Nevada; home of the Unstable Elements. This is a home like many others in this upper-end Las Vegas neighborhood; a suburban McMansion existing in this desert almost out of spite. We're looking at the interior of the well-appointed home; well, to be honest, it's less appointed these days than it has been. There is, for instance, a red crayon drawing at the base of a wall in the living room, right next to a potted ficus strewn with white indoor Christmas lights. The ficus we can likely attribute to the man of the house; he's a big fan of soft white light, as he believes it helps him think. That crayon artistry, though, is definitely courtesy of-]
Jeffy (from upstairs): MOMMMMYYY-
[-the pen hand of one Jeffrey Bankston, age 3. Named after the Elements' close friend Jeff Purse, the son of the Unstable Elements is at least as explosive in personality as his mother... and is suspected of being as smart as his father. "Kid P", as he is jokingly referred to by his parents, will likely be quite a handful in his time... as it is, his mother can barely handle him. We see her, Mom now back on stage, walk into view with her head hung, hands balled into fists. She silently grumbles out a bout of rage, punching at the air and then loudly stomping the floor a few times.]
Jeffy (from upstairs): MOM, I'M SCARED!
Nightmare (muttered): Your ass should be scared of Mommy after trying to draw Daddy on the wall-
[She looks over at the attempted portrait sketch; she shakes her head.]
Nightmare (muttered): -so maybe you're not an artist. I mean, what's up with the color, even? You couldn't draw your father in blue? He likes blue. Mommy's the red one.
Jeffy (from upstairs): MOMMMYYYY-
Nightmare (shouted): I'M COMING, HOLD ON.
[This is Crystal Bankston, known in wrestling circles as 'Nightmare'; wife of the Polar Phantasm and one-half of the Unstable Elements. She's 24 years old, she's from Los Angeles, and currently she's a full-time mom. Nightmare hasn't had a wrestling match in years, and it's well past 'getting to her' at this point. In her time as a professional wrestler, she held the record for most opponents stabbed; to say she has a temper would be an understatement. Crystal Bankston has a blood lust. It has been curbed, quite a bit this narrator might add, by the birth of their son... that said, it's an urge that never dies. Her penchant for sudden destruction and violence is merely sleeping, and not that soundly. Just ask the man who shares a bed with her; she's gotta get it out somehow, and that means the occasional sexually-induced injury. It's one of the hazards that come along with marrying a redhead. She trudges up the stairs, heading down a hallway; we follow as she enters a child's bedroom. The bedroom of Jeffrey Bankston is decorated with bright colors on the walls, doors and furniture; yellow, orange and red all clash together in that way that only a young child's bedroom or an autumn landscape painting can pull off. Plastic toys of all sorts litter the floor; a half-finished Lego bridge lies on the floor in the middle of the room, finding its way beneath Nightmare's foot.]
Nightmare: Fuck!
Jeffy (excited): Mommy cursing! Mommy cursing!
Nightmare: RIGHT- Sorry, jeez.
Jeffy (singing): Mommy's cursing- mommy's cursing!
Nightmare: You have way too much fun pointing that out.
Jeffy: Daddy does it too!
Nightmare: Only when you can hear it, baby.
[She ruffles his hair; he ducks, making a face.]
Jeffy: Nooooo-
[Nightmare giggles, uncharacteristically. Her smile is one of satisfaction, happiness... you know, it looks good on her. It was a long road to here, but she made it- even with her rage bottled to the point of explosion, Crystal Bankston is happy.]
Phantasm (from downstairs): Crystal? Hey, baby?
[She sighs, heading to the door.]
Nightmare: Jeff, there's nothing to be scared of. Go to sleep, honey.
Jeffy: But momm-
Nightmare: Jeff, I don't have time for this; if there are any monsters here, they should know Mommy will come back up here to kick their butts.
[Jeffy giggles.]
Nightmare: If you see a monster, you call me, ok? But I think they're scared. They're scared of Supermommy!
[Jeffy giggles louder, watching as his mother poses as a superhero. We cut to downstairs; a white-haired man in a white and blue singlet and pants stands in his foyer looking up the staircase. This man glistens with sweat despite the air conditioning; running a bit hot, despite being known as an ice-blooded ring veteran... his (normally knowing) gaze is skewed with confusion, face contorted into one half of surprise and half of condemnation. He slips into a smile as he hears his family upstairs, his son giggling happily as his wife tucks him into bed.]
Phantasm: At least I can remember them.
[...a moment later, his wife appears at the top of the stairs.]
Nightmare: Yes, dear?
Phantasm: What was I doing before this?
[She freezes, look of confusion on her face.]
Nightmare: You mean right before, or this morning, or-
Phantasm: Before I started training for UCI.
[She pauses, confused look staying despite her attempts to dispel it.]
Nightmare: -shit, I can't remember either!
[This- this is the Polar Phantasm. Cameron Bankston, Junior. Famous professional wrestler, inventor of a few useful gadgets. All around pretty good dude. He's known for his talent in the ring, sure, but he's also known for his genius intellect; the Phantasm is a feared opponent mostly due to his logical, calculating, strategic mind. Polar is 25; once upon a time, in his teens up until his early 20s, he was known to the wrestling world as 'Kid Phantasm'. Having shed the mantle of 'Kid' after marrying Nightmare, Polar dyed his hair white and curbed his comedic demeanor a bit... but don't let that fool you. When he's in his element, the Phantasm's one hell of an operator... but when he's out of his element, he makes a pretty decent comedian.]
Phantasm: Alright, don't panic- there has to be an explanation.
Nightmare: Like what?!
Phantasm: I don't know... it's like we've been drugged or something. I can't remember anything specific about what I was doing for work up until about a week ago; and people are hazy now, too. Here, this is weird- Eye-Seven, you there?
Iceberg-Seven: Iceberg-Seven is online, awaiting command.
[This is Iceberg-Seven; 'he' is an artificially intelligent computer that the Phantasm currently can't remember how he created in the first place. Eye-Seven's 'body' is in a server room at the Unstable Elements' 'vacation home' in Colorado; it's more of a compound, actually. Ok, it's a decommissioned Cold War era missile base that was renovated into a high-tech black site in 2013; what, you thought these two would vacation in a ski lodge? The Phantasm built himself a wrist-mounted computer a few years back, and it acts as a gateway for Iceberg-Seven to use to follow the Phantasm in his travels.]
Phantasm: Eye-Seven, give me any records you have before last week. Combat strategies, scouting reports, special projects... anything.
Iceberg-Seven: Accessing... error. All files saved in invalid format. Cannot open files; most recent file accessed was 'Project: Bluebonnet' on 5/4/2016.
Phantasm: Bluebonnet... shit, what was that? Something- something familiar. A girl... a wrestler. I was trying to figure out what her story was, past the obvious and the kayfabe party-line... something about her made me curious.
Nightmare: You were scouting girls.
Phantasm: Yeah, for... something... there was a triangle... P-partner... Parthen- no, it was something like that-
Nightmare: God, how can we have forgotten all this?
Phantasm: Maybe if I can fix Eye-Seven... but I can't even remember how I built it.
Iceberg-Seven: Unit was created by user 'Polar Phantasm' and user 'Johnny Reb'.
Phantasm: Reb- holy shit, I remember! Reb! That's who we need...
Nightmare: Oh- oh, no.
Phantasm: What?
Nightmare: Reb died, honey.
[He stares solemnly for a minute.]
Phantasm: I think I knew that... but it still hurts.
Nightmare: That girl you were 'scouting'...
[He interrupts her with a sigh.]
Phantasm: It wasn't like that, it was- it was... crap, what's her name. Bonnie! Bonnie Blue. That was her name.
[Nightmare decends the stairs, suddenly having a flash of memory; she catches herself before she falls, grabbing the banister awkwardly.]
Nightmare: Yeah, the girl who says she's Reb's daughter! We were just talking about this the other day- what, two weeks ago?
Phantasm: Yes, now we're remembering! We were somewhere... I remember the arena... shit, were we in GEW? Why do I remember GEW?
Nightmare: I don't know, baby- all I can remember is you and Jeff Purse and- who else was it? You were forming a team for something-
Phantasm: RIGHT! Bluebonnet- Bluebonnet was the plan, and it started with finding out if that's really Reb's daughter! God, I'm glad I remember Jeff-
Nightmare: Yeah, we named our son after him. I'd be a little upset if we'd forgotten Jeff- ugh. Uh, hey-
Phantasm: Yeah?
Nightmare: Can you remember why we named our son after Jeff Purse?
[Polar pauses, then hangs his head.]
Phantasm: We're so fucked. I've gotta find Bonnie Blue somehow, and see if maybe she can help me fix whatever's wrong with...
[He waves around him.]
Phantasm: Everything. How is everything so shaky? It's like we got cancelled and uncancelled suddenly. Doesn't this feel like a late season re-pilot?
Nightmare: Cam, stop calling real life television. It's concerning.
Phantasm: I mean, that plan only works if she's really Reb's daughter-
[The doorbell rings; Nightmare looks up to Jeffy's room, praying he stays in bed. Polar looks to the door, wondering if fate has chosen this moment to reveal its machinations...]
Phantasm: No fuckin' way.
[He goes to the door, opening it- sure enough, a young blonde woman stands on his door with an expression of urgency on her face.]
Bonnie: No time to explain; get in the Ranchero.
[She waves behind her slightly; he looks over her shoulder, seeing a familiar craft. Oh, the places that Ranchero has been; upon seeing it, Polar remembers many adventures with this girl's father.]
Nightmare: That answers that question-
Phantasm: -and how. Polar.
[He extends a hand. Bonnie Blue shakes his hand, motioning behind her once more.]
Bonnie: I don't know how to tell ya otherwise; we got to go. Here, eat these.
[She tosses him a pack of peanuts.]
Bonnie: Help settle your stomach for the trip.
[They head off; Polar looks behind him to his wife, who surprisingly nods with understanding.]
Nightmare: Go save the universe, or whatever. I won't wait up.
[He mouths a 'thank you' as he dashes to catch up with his new friend, almost tripping over a sign on his front lawn reading 'NEW ANTARCTICA'.]
Phantasm: Where are we going, anyway?
[He struggles to open his pack of peanuts, grasping it and tearing at it with his teeth.]
Bonnie: The Waffle House at the End of the Universe.
[Polar tears the package suddenly in an unintentional reaction; peanuts fly everywhere, a few tinking against the side of the Ranchero.]
Phantasm: This must be a Thursday. I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays.
------------------------------------------------
THE GUARDIANS' GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
Book One: The Guardians' Guide to the Galaxy
Series conceived by Jay Omega, Bonnie Blue and the Polar Phantasm
Episode written by the Polar Phantasm
NEXT: The Waffle House at the End of the Universe
[(c) United Championship Infinite 2016. All rights reserved.]
Comedian: Just what is reality, anyway?
[He turns to the camera, continuing his line of questioning.]
Comedian: I mean, what makes the reality I perceive any more or less real than one someone else perceives? If I alter my perception through change in worldview or accepting a religion or using a shitload of drugs, does the world change or do I? Or both?
[He shrugs, shaking his head.]
Comedian: Ah, the dangers of philosophy. Now I'm not sure what the hell I believe.
[He laughs, taking a puff of his Pall Mall.]
Comedian: The universe we will be existing in will be a strange one, full of surprises and actiion. But it was not always the universe; its Big Bang was recent, and it eclipsed the universe we did live in with force. Most everyone accepted this change in reality, some as easily as the passing of the days... but a few people noticed the change, and some of them were just a bit inquisitive as to their universe's new nature.
[The Comedian stands, brushing his inexplicably multi-angled hair out of his face.]
Comedian: Three of these people will put their heads together to discover just what's up with feds, the universe and everything... it's their destiny. To answer the great questions, to discover the Ultimate Answer... spoiler alert, it's 42.
[He smiles, rolling his eyes.]
Comedian: Had to work that in here somewhere. So here, then, do we begin The Guardians' Guide to the Galaxy... here, then, do we begin United Championship Infinite. Here, then... do we begin, again. Come along with us, will ya? Don't forget your towel.
[He laughs, briefly... then the Comedian walks away, leaving us to stare at the blinding heat of New Orleans.]
Comedian (off-screen): Stay frosty, y'all.
--------------------------------------
"...kiss me, I kiss you... I know about you.
I been told about you...
...I been waitin' on you where the air's thin." -Underworld, Moaner
“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.” -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
--------------------------------------
POLAR PHANTASM #1: The Guardians' Guide to the Galaxy
--------------------------------------
[Scene: New Antarctica, Nevada; home of the Unstable Elements. This is a home like many others in this upper-end Las Vegas neighborhood; a suburban McMansion existing in this desert almost out of spite. We're looking at the interior of the well-appointed home; well, to be honest, it's less appointed these days than it has been. There is, for instance, a red crayon drawing at the base of a wall in the living room, right next to a potted ficus strewn with white indoor Christmas lights. The ficus we can likely attribute to the man of the house; he's a big fan of soft white light, as he believes it helps him think. That crayon artistry, though, is definitely courtesy of-]
Jeffy (from upstairs): MOMMMMYYY-
[-the pen hand of one Jeffrey Bankston, age 3. Named after the Elements' close friend Jeff Purse, the son of the Unstable Elements is at least as explosive in personality as his mother... and is suspected of being as smart as his father. "Kid P", as he is jokingly referred to by his parents, will likely be quite a handful in his time... as it is, his mother can barely handle him. We see her, Mom now back on stage, walk into view with her head hung, hands balled into fists. She silently grumbles out a bout of rage, punching at the air and then loudly stomping the floor a few times.]
Jeffy (from upstairs): MOM, I'M SCARED!
Nightmare (muttered): Your ass should be scared of Mommy after trying to draw Daddy on the wall-
[She looks over at the attempted portrait sketch; she shakes her head.]
Nightmare (muttered): -so maybe you're not an artist. I mean, what's up with the color, even? You couldn't draw your father in blue? He likes blue. Mommy's the red one.
Jeffy (from upstairs): MOMMMYYYY-
Nightmare (shouted): I'M COMING, HOLD ON.
[This is Crystal Bankston, known in wrestling circles as 'Nightmare'; wife of the Polar Phantasm and one-half of the Unstable Elements. She's 24 years old, she's from Los Angeles, and currently she's a full-time mom. Nightmare hasn't had a wrestling match in years, and it's well past 'getting to her' at this point. In her time as a professional wrestler, she held the record for most opponents stabbed; to say she has a temper would be an understatement. Crystal Bankston has a blood lust. It has been curbed, quite a bit this narrator might add, by the birth of their son... that said, it's an urge that never dies. Her penchant for sudden destruction and violence is merely sleeping, and not that soundly. Just ask the man who shares a bed with her; she's gotta get it out somehow, and that means the occasional sexually-induced injury. It's one of the hazards that come along with marrying a redhead. She trudges up the stairs, heading down a hallway; we follow as she enters a child's bedroom. The bedroom of Jeffrey Bankston is decorated with bright colors on the walls, doors and furniture; yellow, orange and red all clash together in that way that only a young child's bedroom or an autumn landscape painting can pull off. Plastic toys of all sorts litter the floor; a half-finished Lego bridge lies on the floor in the middle of the room, finding its way beneath Nightmare's foot.]
Nightmare: Fuck!
Jeffy (excited): Mommy cursing! Mommy cursing!
Nightmare: RIGHT- Sorry, jeez.
Jeffy (singing): Mommy's cursing- mommy's cursing!
Nightmare: You have way too much fun pointing that out.
Jeffy: Daddy does it too!
Nightmare: Only when you can hear it, baby.
[She ruffles his hair; he ducks, making a face.]
Jeffy: Nooooo-
[Nightmare giggles, uncharacteristically. Her smile is one of satisfaction, happiness... you know, it looks good on her. It was a long road to here, but she made it- even with her rage bottled to the point of explosion, Crystal Bankston is happy.]
Phantasm (from downstairs): Crystal? Hey, baby?
[She sighs, heading to the door.]
Nightmare: Jeff, there's nothing to be scared of. Go to sleep, honey.
Jeffy: But momm-
Nightmare: Jeff, I don't have time for this; if there are any monsters here, they should know Mommy will come back up here to kick their butts.
[Jeffy giggles.]
Nightmare: If you see a monster, you call me, ok? But I think they're scared. They're scared of Supermommy!
[Jeffy giggles louder, watching as his mother poses as a superhero. We cut to downstairs; a white-haired man in a white and blue singlet and pants stands in his foyer looking up the staircase. This man glistens with sweat despite the air conditioning; running a bit hot, despite being known as an ice-blooded ring veteran... his (normally knowing) gaze is skewed with confusion, face contorted into one half of surprise and half of condemnation. He slips into a smile as he hears his family upstairs, his son giggling happily as his wife tucks him into bed.]
Phantasm: At least I can remember them.
[...a moment later, his wife appears at the top of the stairs.]
Nightmare: Yes, dear?
Phantasm: What was I doing before this?
[She freezes, look of confusion on her face.]
Nightmare: You mean right before, or this morning, or-
Phantasm: Before I started training for UCI.
[She pauses, confused look staying despite her attempts to dispel it.]
Nightmare: -shit, I can't remember either!
[This- this is the Polar Phantasm. Cameron Bankston, Junior. Famous professional wrestler, inventor of a few useful gadgets. All around pretty good dude. He's known for his talent in the ring, sure, but he's also known for his genius intellect; the Phantasm is a feared opponent mostly due to his logical, calculating, strategic mind. Polar is 25; once upon a time, in his teens up until his early 20s, he was known to the wrestling world as 'Kid Phantasm'. Having shed the mantle of 'Kid' after marrying Nightmare, Polar dyed his hair white and curbed his comedic demeanor a bit... but don't let that fool you. When he's in his element, the Phantasm's one hell of an operator... but when he's out of his element, he makes a pretty decent comedian.]
Phantasm: Alright, don't panic- there has to be an explanation.
Nightmare: Like what?!
Phantasm: I don't know... it's like we've been drugged or something. I can't remember anything specific about what I was doing for work up until about a week ago; and people are hazy now, too. Here, this is weird- Eye-Seven, you there?
Iceberg-Seven: Iceberg-Seven is online, awaiting command.
[This is Iceberg-Seven; 'he' is an artificially intelligent computer that the Phantasm currently can't remember how he created in the first place. Eye-Seven's 'body' is in a server room at the Unstable Elements' 'vacation home' in Colorado; it's more of a compound, actually. Ok, it's a decommissioned Cold War era missile base that was renovated into a high-tech black site in 2013; what, you thought these two would vacation in a ski lodge? The Phantasm built himself a wrist-mounted computer a few years back, and it acts as a gateway for Iceberg-Seven to use to follow the Phantasm in his travels.]
Phantasm: Eye-Seven, give me any records you have before last week. Combat strategies, scouting reports, special projects... anything.
Iceberg-Seven: Accessing... error. All files saved in invalid format. Cannot open files; most recent file accessed was 'Project: Bluebonnet' on 5/4/2016.
Phantasm: Bluebonnet... shit, what was that? Something- something familiar. A girl... a wrestler. I was trying to figure out what her story was, past the obvious and the kayfabe party-line... something about her made me curious.
Nightmare: You were scouting girls.
Phantasm: Yeah, for... something... there was a triangle... P-partner... Parthen- no, it was something like that-
Nightmare: God, how can we have forgotten all this?
Phantasm: Maybe if I can fix Eye-Seven... but I can't even remember how I built it.
Iceberg-Seven: Unit was created by user 'Polar Phantasm' and user 'Johnny Reb'.
Phantasm: Reb- holy shit, I remember! Reb! That's who we need...
Nightmare: Oh- oh, no.
Phantasm: What?
Nightmare: Reb died, honey.
[He stares solemnly for a minute.]
Phantasm: I think I knew that... but it still hurts.
Nightmare: That girl you were 'scouting'...
[He interrupts her with a sigh.]
Phantasm: It wasn't like that, it was- it was... crap, what's her name. Bonnie! Bonnie Blue. That was her name.
[Nightmare decends the stairs, suddenly having a flash of memory; she catches herself before she falls, grabbing the banister awkwardly.]
Nightmare: Yeah, the girl who says she's Reb's daughter! We were just talking about this the other day- what, two weeks ago?
Phantasm: Yes, now we're remembering! We were somewhere... I remember the arena... shit, were we in GEW? Why do I remember GEW?
Nightmare: I don't know, baby- all I can remember is you and Jeff Purse and- who else was it? You were forming a team for something-
Phantasm: RIGHT! Bluebonnet- Bluebonnet was the plan, and it started with finding out if that's really Reb's daughter! God, I'm glad I remember Jeff-
Nightmare: Yeah, we named our son after him. I'd be a little upset if we'd forgotten Jeff- ugh. Uh, hey-
Phantasm: Yeah?
Nightmare: Can you remember why we named our son after Jeff Purse?
[Polar pauses, then hangs his head.]
Phantasm: We're so fucked. I've gotta find Bonnie Blue somehow, and see if maybe she can help me fix whatever's wrong with...
[He waves around him.]
Phantasm: Everything. How is everything so shaky? It's like we got cancelled and uncancelled suddenly. Doesn't this feel like a late season re-pilot?
Nightmare: Cam, stop calling real life television. It's concerning.
Phantasm: I mean, that plan only works if she's really Reb's daughter-
[The doorbell rings; Nightmare looks up to Jeffy's room, praying he stays in bed. Polar looks to the door, wondering if fate has chosen this moment to reveal its machinations...]
Phantasm: No fuckin' way.
[He goes to the door, opening it- sure enough, a young blonde woman stands on his door with an expression of urgency on her face.]
Bonnie: No time to explain; get in the Ranchero.
[She waves behind her slightly; he looks over her shoulder, seeing a familiar craft. Oh, the places that Ranchero has been; upon seeing it, Polar remembers many adventures with this girl's father.]
Nightmare: That answers that question-
Phantasm: -and how. Polar.
[He extends a hand. Bonnie Blue shakes his hand, motioning behind her once more.]
Bonnie: I don't know how to tell ya otherwise; we got to go. Here, eat these.
[She tosses him a pack of peanuts.]
Bonnie: Help settle your stomach for the trip.
[They head off; Polar looks behind him to his wife, who surprisingly nods with understanding.]
Nightmare: Go save the universe, or whatever. I won't wait up.
[He mouths a 'thank you' as he dashes to catch up with his new friend, almost tripping over a sign on his front lawn reading 'NEW ANTARCTICA'.]
Phantasm: Where are we going, anyway?
[He struggles to open his pack of peanuts, grasping it and tearing at it with his teeth.]
Bonnie: The Waffle House at the End of the Universe.
[Polar tears the package suddenly in an unintentional reaction; peanuts fly everywhere, a few tinking against the side of the Ranchero.]
Phantasm: This must be a Thursday. I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays.
------------------------------------------------
THE GUARDIANS' GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
Book One: The Guardians' Guide to the Galaxy
Series conceived by Jay Omega, Bonnie Blue and the Polar Phantasm
Episode written by the Polar Phantasm
NEXT: The Waffle House at the End of the Universe
[(c) United Championship Infinite 2016. All rights reserved.]