Jericho in the Fatal Four way (sounds kinky ;3)

    Jericho walks down a back alley, in a part of town your parents warn you about, the kind of place where if you go at night, they might just write you off as dead. In the dark alley half smoked cigarettes, empty hobo flasks of disgusting rot gut, and puddles of blood litter the broken concrete flooring. Wild ivy grows up the moldy stained brick walls that make up the edge of the alley. Jericho continues walking, smoking his Turkish Royal, until he gets to an old dumpster on the right side of the alley. The dumpster has fresh blood leaking from random bullet holes that scatter the dumpster. He placed his back against the wall so his body can face the dumpster and shimmies along the wall. Once he was passed the bleeding dumpster he continued his stride, lighting another cigarette with the one that’s almost gone, carelessly discarding it once his new one is lit.

    Finally, he reaches a flight of stairs at the end of the alley. A man is sitting on a bar stool next to the door. He stands once he notices Jericho.

Bouncer: Mr. Jericho, good to see you again. May Heaven smile.

Jericho: And Hell have mercy.

    The bouncer opens the faded red door and Jericho walks inside. Placing his caulking and underseal stained hoodie on a hook hanging from the wall and walks to the interior of The Blades Edge Bar. Once inside he sits down on his usual bar stool and looks at Mr. N who’s back is turned to him.

Jericho: Fuckin Christ N, you see me trounce that rich fuck?

Mr. N: I did Mr. Jericho. You certainly did your part well and got me quite a bit of money.

Jericho: What you had bet placed on me? HEY CAN I GET MY DRINK OR WHAT?

Mr. N: Of course Mr. Jericho.

Jericho: Of course to what? A bet or my drink?

Mr. N: Both, Mr. Jericho. Would you like an actual drink or just the free stuff again?

Jericho: Fuck do you think?

    Mr. N sighs for a moment and pulls an unmarked bottle off of the shelf and a shot glass from the freezer under the bar. He sets the bottle and shot glass in front of Jericho.

Jericho: Thank you.

    Jericho takes the shot and slams the glass on the table. The Gin Burning his innards on its way down.

Jericho: GAAAAAaah FUCK! WOOH fresh batch there ya fuck?

    Mr. N smirks at Jericho’s pain.

Mr. N: How could you tell?

Jericho: Look you know why I’m here so shall we get started?

Mr. N: Of course, but let me remind you I am doing you a favor and as such I would like a favor in return. And who knows the day may never come that I need a favor from you.

Jericho: I’ve the Godfather dawg. I know that favor is gonna be called and you know why I need money and can’t pay you, so fuck it. Favor it is.

Mr. N: Good! As long as that is understood then let’s get a move on.

    The pair walk over to a room with just a stained desk, a camera and a chair. Mr. N flicks a switch and a projector screen slowly lowers from the ceiling. The desk looked like it was once a real nice, like it sat in someone’s study and was dusted and cleaned regularly. Perhaps it was in a fire and then tossed out for junk. The chair looks like a lawn chair with bar stool legs. And the room looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in years. Dust covers everything, and random bits of wall paper is peeling and hanging from what was once a nice place. The floors are moldy and what’s not covered in black mold is covered in blood stains.

Jericho: N, do you torture people in here?

Mr. N: Only sometimes why?

Jericho: How did I know? Ok let’s get this shit show on the road.

    Jericho sits down in the chair and faces the camera, he places his pack and lighter on the table, he cracks his neck to get ready, taking a drag from his cigarette while he does it.

Mr. N: rolling in three. Two. One.

    Mr. N motions that they are recording.

Jericho: GEWD eveinin ladies and faggots alike! I would like to point your attention to the screen behind me because I have something fucking special to show all of you! No its not Mandy Wheelers sandy vagina! No its not Kyle Kemp, whoever the fuck that is! That’s right ya couple of cunts! Its ShadowLove! And what’s that its him crying in pain like a little bitch as the main faggot himself Howard Black fucks him up with that beautiful hold! I mean let’s all take a minute to look at the pain Shadows face! I mean I could jack off to that every night!

    Jericho takes a drag from his cigarette and turn back to face the camera.

Jericho: I mean really guys would you look at that? Crying like a bitch! I bet he needs to sit down to pee after having his dick ripped off in that match! But let’s look at another match! When he got his shit kicked in by Polar! I mean he was so desperate for a win, so wanting of victory that he had his Manager argue with the ref then went for a cheap roll up on Polar! But even when he tries to steal my cheap shot tactics HE STILL GETS DROPPED WITH A BRAIN BUSTER! Let’s take a look shall we?

    Jericho taking another moment to smoke his cigarette realizes its gone out. While he tries to get it relit, the screen behind him plays the scene of Polar dropping Shadowlove.

Jericho: Once again I know what I’m jacking off to later! But I digress, the only good thing about shadowlove is his manager, Ching Chong McSlanteyes! I tell you all what I’d let her put a finger in my butt while I beat off in her face! In fact, I should she what’s she’s doin when she isn’t sitting there trying desperately to keep the most overrated wrestler here, well overrated. Shadow, what is this your third time going for this belt? I mean for fuck sake at this point it’s just not meant to be! I mean how absolutely worthless are you that you can’t even win a shitty belt like this. ITS NOT EVEN THAT GOOD A BELT! HAHAHA YOU THINK THIS ONE MATTERS? THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS IS SAT ON THE COCK OF THE DUDE THAT MADE YOU CRY LIKE A BITCH! HAHAHAHA your whole career so far has been so fucking bad and so sad it makes me fucking harder than a rock! AND YOU KNOW THE BEST PART! If I win this title, I’ll show you how worthless it is and burn it in front of you! hell I might even get me a mouth huggin from your slave master there.

    Jericho takes out another cigarette to smoke and lights it with the other that’s almost dead.

Jericho: Now let’s move onto the girl with the sandy vagina! The girl who lactates so much penis envy it would make Sigmond Freud shit a brick so hard it would put a hole in the floor at his mother’s house! Mandie Wheeler! Let’s take a good look at her fags and faggets! I mean she has held onto this gold belt for a good minute now and lets all have a moment of silence for her losing it in this fatal four way! I mean I guess once she loses here she will have to go back to being a ring side girl! But let’s be real here, the odds are all stacked against her she has me, Shadowfuckwit, and the faggot with a faux hawk all coming to brutally butt fuck her and take that retarded belt.

    Jericho takes another drag from his cigarette.

Jericho: I can already hear the internet now making all kinds of excuses about how she lost because the patriarchy. How awe she wasn’t given a fair chance by everyone so she should still get to keep the belt. Honestly, if I win you can all keep the belt after I burn it in front of all of you. because guess what I don’t care about it! It makes my penis so happy to see that this is all you people care about. A worthless title for worthless people!

    Jericho lights another cigarette and begins to smoke, he exhales the smoke through his nose and puts the other one out on the desk.

Jericho: The final one here tonight is the faux hawk faggot himself Kyle Kemp! The only man whose ego is matched only by his stupidity! Well fuck my ass and cum in my mouth, this man is like Shadowlove if he was actually competent! He has the same shitty haircut and all. But after all that huge shit talk in front everyone, you would think that a man who “who dares anyone to prove him wrong” would go up against a titan in this cesspool that is UCI, no we get him versus someone on the level of Logan Demon Joker. And now what? He is gonna come up here and take a worthless title as well? For someone who came here with a shout of thunder he certainly has had a whisper of a career hasn’t he? I mean for fuck sake man this guy needs to change his fucking tampon coming in here like he owns the place.

    Jericho takes another drag of his cigarette.

Jericho: And now let’s look at the biggest cocksucker of them all! Jericho! That’s right yah shit fucks! It’s me! I have been told I don’t belong here, I’m undeserving of this title, but that’s where you are right! I don’t deserve to be here! I deserve to be in a nice shitty, mid floor condo with a wife and kid, a life where I never needed to come here and be a part of this cancer on society! But here I am and it’s all because of you! Yes, all of you! The wrestlers who caused 1he Wav3! You bunch of cunts have brought this reckoning upon yourselves! You can pin me, make me tap, knock me unconscious, do whatever you want. It won’t matter because I’ll always be there to shit in your pillow cases! Be there to piss in your cornflakes! I am going to ruin everything you people stand for! I will continue to fight because watching all of you have to fight a so called nine to fiver makes all of you mad. Because all of you are the same. One trick ponies who are all just smug and self-centered, people who want this rock star life style, all here because they have no skills outside of molesting each other. That’s why I am different from all of you because I am not here for that. I am just here for the money and one other thing. Hate. I am here for hate. If the word hate was written on every atom in the universe, every single molecule that makes up everything, it would pale in comparison to how much I fucking hate all you in this fucking Nanosecond. I am going to beat all of you fucking cunts because I hate all you, then I am going to take that title and burn it in front of all you because I am going to show you that all of your effort and all of your struggle has been in vain for a piece of golden garbage.

    Jericho stands and flicks his cigarette at the screen, as Mr. N cuts the footage. Jericho storms out of the room and goes back to the bar. He sits down at his bar stool, picks up the bottle and begins to chug it. A man sits next to him.

Patron: Woah stranger you better slow down.

    Jericho stops drinking and takes the spout of the bottle and smashes it into the man’s face knocking him out in an instant. He pulls out a cigarette and begins to smoke it. Mr. N walks behind the bar.

Mr. N: would you like a new bottle my friend?

Jericho: shut the fuck up and get me one.

Mr. N: Of course Mr. Jericho. I’ll take care of sending the footage to who it needs to go to.

Jericho: Where’s my fucking drink?

Mr. N: Coming right up Mr. Jericho.