Post by Results on Jul 5, 2016 1:36:01 GMT -6
UCI Television Championship
Dustin Beaver © vs Wentworth Updegraff Jr.
Taylor Lorde: Our next match, is for deeee Yoooou...Seeeee...Eyeeee...Television Titleeeeee!
Tonight's white hot crowd pops huge, but those cheers soon turn into mega heel heat as we hear “The Standard of Sophistication's”, "Playa" by D-loc begin to play. Wentworth doesn't walk out however. Instead, Hunter Updegraff arrives first, dancing down the ramp, microphone in hand.
Hunter Updegraff: Hey hey hey! King Koopa Bloopa in the hooooouuuuussssssse-uh! It's time to get this party train rollin', by introducin' a man who stands six foot two and weighs two hundred thirty pounds. From coast to coast they call him the stud with the most! I'm talkin' about the standard of sophistication dat makes the ladies think about master...ing wrestling. Ladies and gentlemen, your NEXT UCI TV champion, Wentworth Updegraff Jr.!
Wentworth slowly struts out onto the entrance ramp, robe wrapped around him, concealing his physique. He holds out his arms, presenting himself to the audience as they shower him with boos. As he does this, Hunter sings his entrance theme loudly and obnoxiously into the mic.
Hunter Updegraff: I'm a... playa. You's a hater, see you later, trynna be down but you'll never be down so don't come around here!
Wentworth swats at an angry fans sign, before walking up the ring steps and wiping his feet on the apron. He slips through the ropes, and walks across the ring. Robe still wrapped around him.
Hunter Updegraff: There he is baby! That NEW TV champ everybody been wantin for'. Let me tell you a little somethin' about my boy's opponent tonight. He ain't shit, and we the tits, so this one already over! Updegraff bros. for life! WUT WUT!
The music dies, as Hunter poses with Wentworth for some Instagram moments.
Gravedigger: Hey! Wut! Wut! Your boi, Wavedigger here! #beachkrew for sealyfe! This Midwest crowd be waterlogged. Ignore these betas, Huntah!
Jimmy Garcia: Gravedigger's past associations with the now legendary group, hashtag beachkrew flaring up here as the crowd are not so enamoured by Wentworth's arrival.
Gravedigger: The hell you doin, JC? This ain't description for the blind...learn your craft, fool! Now, where be dat #beachkrew traitor, Dustin Beaver!
Skrillek and Diplo's Where U Now? Hits, then a spotlight shines at the beginning of the entrance ramp, awaiting the Beavs to walk into it. He enters the light, points to the crowd on the left and then to the crowd on the right. He then points with both hands at Wentworth and a booing Hunter. Beaver looks determined as he marches down to the ring, staring at his opponent.
His manager, Vengeance, walks a few paces behind him.
Gravedigger: Look at this lost deluded fool, Create-a-commentator Garcia! He's turned his back on a #beachkrew brother, he's holding another man's gold. It's a disgrace!
Jimmy Garcia: Wentworth and Dustin's history together has been short but storied, Gravedigger; there battles for this title are rapidly becoming the stuff of internet legend!
Gravedigger: Yeah, well there's gonna be some hits dealt out tonight, that's so sure!
Taylor approaches Beaver with the leather strap (about eight foot in length) and affixes it around his left wrist with a lock and key.
Jimmy Garcia: Taylor there with the light bondage.
Gravedigger: She's not used to being up top, Garcia. Look at that trashy hoe! She's a slave bitch all day long!
Jimmy Garcia: Ahem. No interest in the new Ghostbusters then?
Gravedigger: Shut up, fool! Get on with it!
Jimmy Garcia: Okay, quick recap on the rules of this match: each ring post has been labelled one to four, they must all be struck IN ORDER while attached to your opponent by the leather strap for the match to be won.
Gravedigger: Classic rules, you can't go wrong!
Jimmy Garcia: We'll see...
Vengeance refuses to leave the ring until the bell sounds, his presence under protest from Hunter. Taylor approaches Wentworth with the opposite end of the strap, who takes a step back, then another as Taylor approaches once more; Vengeance steps up to Wentworth arguing, but is met with Hunter. Those two jaw jack as--
Wentworth surges forward, concealed object! He cracks Beaver over the head with a lead pipe hidden beneath his robe and tosses the object out of the ring before referee Phil Brooks can see it! Beaver stumbles against ring one, dazed. Wentworth wraps the strap around his wrist and calls for the bell to sound. Phil obliges, eager to get the match underway, but unaware of what just happened!
Jimmy Garcia: Punk, no!
Gravedigger: Yes!
Straight right hands by Wentworth as the yanks Dustin forward for a short arm smash. Dustin's cut open as the ring is cleared. More right hands as Beaver tries to rope a dope but his legs are cut away from him by a kick. Wentworth hits post one!
DING!
Taylor Lorde: Post one has been struck. Wentworth Updegraff has three more posts remaining!
Wentworth wraps the strap around Beaver's throat, hitting a German Suplex while strangling Beaver in the process! While down on the mat, Wentworth pulls on the strap, choking the life out of Dustin!
Jimmy Garcia: Dustin looks to be in a bad way, blood pouring from that heinous attack!
Vengeance at ring side slams his hands against the mat, willing his young charge back to his feet. Dustin reaches out as the crowd wills him on--
Crowd: Beaver! Beaver! Beaver! Beaver!
Gravedigger: You know that's just a coincidence, right? Look at this fat, male demographic! They're just crying out for what they've never had!
Beaver hooks a free arm under the calf of Updegraff and lifts him up for a fireman's carry, switches it in mid air and hits an improvised michinoku driver!
Crowd: Holeeee sheeit! Holeeee sheeit! Holeeee sheeit! Holeeee sheeit!
Dustin on his feet now, arm hooked to that strap and a dead weight Updegraff. He drags his opponent over to ring post one. Step after step is laboured, he's almost there, almost there...
Yanked back! Dustin stumbles to the mat as Updegraff is back on his feet, pulling the strap towards him, Dustin tries to get to his feet, applying the breaks, but Updegraff's superior strength wins out and Dustin is pulled forward; Dustin however changes tactics and RUNS at Updegraff, hitting a running missile dropkick!
Jimmy Garcia: Nailed him with that flying double leg kick!
Gravedigger: Missile drop-kick you imbecile!
Beaver drills a downed Updegraff with more rights and lefts as he goes full MMA on Wentworth's now bloodied face. He fireman lifts Updegraff and carries him over to ring post one; slams his palm down hard on the ring post.
DING!
Taylor Lorde: Post one has been struck. Dustin Beaver has three more posts remaining!
Beaver climbs the ring post and begins to hook in the arms for a top rope Pedigree. Phil Brooks looks on, almost proud as Beaver screams at the crowd that this is it!
LOW BLOW! Updegraff floats over Beaver and hits a TOP ROP SUNSET FLIP DRIVER!
Crowd: Holeeee sheeit! Holeeee sheeit! Holeeee sheeit! Holeeee sheeit!
Both competitors stay down for a few moments, blood and swat running down their shattered bodies as Brooks check up on them, Updegraff up first, Fireman carries Beaver to ring post two as Beaver wriggles free and hits an inverted hurricanrana!
Jimmy Garcia: Beaver on auto pilot there with that odd Lucha Libre move!
Gravedigger: Odd? It was a Hurricanrana! YEEZUS CHRIST!
Dustin is up as he hits--
Taylor Lorde: Post two has been struck! Dustin Beaver has two more posts remaining!
Beaver lifts Updegraff to his feet and goes for a DDT, blocked! Updegraff with a spear into ring post two as he hits--
Taylor Lorde: Post two has been struck! Wentworth Updegraff has two more posts remaining!
Snake eyes on Dustin as the blood loss starts to take it's toll on Beaver! Updegraff with a Brainbuster; slamming Dustin's head down hard onto the mat! The standard of sophistication drags Dustin over to ring post three, as it's Dustin's turn now to put on the breaks, change tactics quick however as he goes for broke and runs the ropes, using his impressive athletic ability to hit a head scissor takedown on on Updegraff just as he--
Taylor Lorde: Post three has been struck! Wentworth Updegraff has one more post remaining!
Updegraff is down after the head scissor. Dustin drags himself up by the ropes, slams his palm as--
Taylor Lorde: Post three has been struck! Dustin Beaver has one more post remaining!
Jimmy Garcia: One more post for Beaver, one more for Updegraff, this has been an absolute war!
Clothesline attempt by Updegraff as both competitors are back on their feet in the centre of the ring. Beaver ducks, goes for a bionic elbow, sidestepped by Wentworth, locks in a belly to belly; blocked by Dustin--
BEAVER TO BELLY!
Updegraff is down as the crowd are on their feet! Beaver dragging that dead weight of Updegraff closer and closer to victory, one step over another...slow, but assured. This is it, this is the moment, can Beaver retain. Can he do it?
Updegraff up on his feet, he cannons forward and shoves Beaver in the back, who Cactus clotheslines over the top rope! Beaver is helpless as he caught between the ropes, Brooks rushes over to try and prise them apart, helped by Vengence and the ring crew as a smug and assured Wentworth takes a bow to a chorus of boos. He saunters over to ring post four, a jaunty little step as Beaver's face turns blue.
Jimmy Garcia: For gawd's sake man, help Beaver!
Updegraff flips off Garcia as he smirks and casually slams his palm down on ring post four.
Taylor Lorde: Your winner, and NEW TV CHAMPION....WENTWORTH UPDEGRAFF, JR!
Hunter enters the ring, bounding towards his brother as Beaver is finally set loose from the ropes, only to watch his prised belt is being handed over to this nemesis. Vengeance has his arm over his client and shouts “This isn't over” as he escorts Beaver out of the ring to a standing ovation!
Jimmy Garcia: Standing ovation by the crowd there, Beaver gave it his all tonight! He was moments away from victory, it could have gone either way
Gravedigger: That's all it takes in this business, Garcia, a split second to change history.