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Post by Results on Oct 10, 2017 22:46:20 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Oct 10, 2017 22:48:34 GMT -6
UCI Television Championship Jack Schlongson vs. Leon Wilder
A Punjabi tremor rings around the arena, steadily building towards an explosive crescendo that gives way to "Blood, Milk and Sky" by White Zombie. The instant mixed reactions from the live viewers and their vulgar signs hoisted in the air acknowledge the man behind the thundering echoes—'Dead End Wilder', 'Come Claim Me', and 'You're sh!t out of Luck.' It was clear who they invited in, albeit everything around had dimmed to a thick black except for fluorescent strobes of light spiraling around clockwork, searching the inside of the arena. Heads continuing to turn in the dark at every available direction in the search for roguish twenty-five year-old, it's then up in a particular staircase that the shadowed contour of Leon Wilder slowly trudges down the cold steps at his own leisure.
"The siren sings a lonely song
Of all the wants and hungers
The lust of love, a brute desire
The ledge of life goes under"
As the lyrics pursue, his surly pout emerging through the touch of light. He swings his arms loosely to their sides with a hint of cockiness in his movement. This is Wilder, soaked up with an aggressive form of confidence in the midst of a crowd reaching for him on his way down. Both of his shriveled up, glacial blue eyes remaining fixated with the ring, and never turning away to give care to those calling out to him. He quickly slides over the barricade upon contact, scoffing at everyone and everything with a saucy grunt before rolling his leather jacket-clad heap inside the ring.
Pacing around the mat in evident restlessness, Leon rolls his wrists and jerks his head sideways in last second preparation. A jittery smile ripping over his shady mug provided a closing gesture of how anxious he is to start swinging.
The camera cuts back to the entrance ramp to reveal a DJing table off to one side. Approaching the table is none other than Yourenigma himself. He waves to the audiences before going to work, queuing "Technicolor Dreams" playing with the build of the music for the sake of anticipation, pads and knobs flashing wildly to the growing volume until it hits its peak and Rainbow colored banners roll down on each side of the titantron and the lights strobe. Jack runs out from behind the entrance with his custom belt around his waist, the other members of Rekt 'Em following behind with rainbow colored flags, waving them back and forth. They make their way down the ramp to the ring where Jack slides in as the others place their flags in designated locations at three of the four corner posts on the outside.
Jack raises his belt above his head, much to the displeasure of the crowd before turning to his respective corner. The referee takes the belt from Jack, presents it to Leon before taking it to the center of the ring.
Taylor Lorde: This match is for the UCI Television Championship.
The referee lifts the belt up, presenting it to the audience and the viewers at home, Jack's custom display with its technicolor tint, J C S initials, and pink strap on prominent display.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing first, from Your Wildest Dreams, California. The television Champion: JACK "THE CRACK" SCHLONGSON!
Jack steps to the middle of the ring to the cheer of his teammates but the hatred of the audience before returning to his corner.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing next, the challenger, currently residing in San Diego, California: LEON WILDER!
Leon steps to the center of the ring to the cheer of fans and the boos of Jack's teammates who remain at ringside. Leon moves back into his corner as the belt is handed off to the side.
Sebastian Reid: Two Cali boys going at it for the title this week, should prove to be an interesting bout.
Jimmy Garcia: I worry about the interference card that is always in play with Rekt 'Em at ring side. There have been a number of occasions where we've seen-
Gravedigger: YOU'VE SEEN NOTHING, JIMMY! What you've seen is what you've wanted to see, and thats rose tinted sunglasses creating a world where your homophobia is justified!
Jimmy Garcia: I'm not homophobic, I just demand a fair fight!
Gravedigger: Denial! Jack is an amazing champion and you just continue to ignore it!
The referee signals for the bell.
DING! DING!
The bell rings and Jack immediately gets in the referee's face, yelling to make sure that he treats him fairly and not to show any homophobic bias, but as he is doing that, Bran Butts reaches into the ring and trips up Leon before pulling him to the outside.
Jimmy Garcia: THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Gravedigger: I don't know what you're talking about. To me it just looks like Leon tripped onto his face, rolled out of the ring in the direction of Rekt 'Em.
Rekt 'Em proceeds to beat down Leon Wilder
Jimmy Garcia: AND WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?!
Gravedigger: THAT BASTARD, HE IS ATTACKING THEIR FISTS WITH HIS FACE!
Jimmy Garcia: Oh for crying out loud!
The referee tries to get around Jack, but refuses to let him pass, demanding for the referee to confirm that he will officiate fairly and without prejudice. Rekt 'Em stomps Leon down before rolling him back into the ring and quickly scatter from the scene of the crime as Jack finally moves away from the referee. The referee sees the downed Leon and looks around in confusion, he walks to the side of the ring and questions various members of Rekt 'Em but all of them feign ignorance.
Jimmy Garcia: This is ridiculous! Rekt 'Em should be banned from ringside!
Gravedigger: You mean like how gay men are banned from donating blood, adopting children, getting married in more countries still, and...um...to the back of the bus?!
Jimmy Garcia: Oh will you stop!
Jack picks up the hurt Leon, pulls him in close, hooks the leg and hits his new signature move The Same Team Swing, or hereby referred to as The STS! Jack goes for the pin.
ONE!
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TWO!
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.
THREE!
Taylor Lorde: You Winner and STILL UCI Television Champion: JACK "THE CRACK" SCHLONGSON!
Jack reaches over the ropes and demands his belt and a microphone, which are both handed to him.
Jack Schlongson: Well, that was fun!
The crowd roars in hatred at the dastardly act of Jack.
Jack Schlongson: My pretties, don't be mad. You finally have a Television Champion that matters! A real champion. A fighting champion. A truly sexy champion, hehe. But, I will say...as much as I like this title of mine and the designs I've given it...I think we can do a little better.
Jack hands the title back over the ropes as a tied off sack is handed to him. He undoes the string at the top and pulls it open to lift out of it a NEW custom Television title that is identical to the other custom title in every way except now the side plates are design with Andre Holmes' face printed on them.
Jack Schlongson: There we go! Much better! Now, this title will always remind me of the dream I've been chasing since I got here, and one that I will continue to chase for as long as I am employed.
The crowd boos loudly once more.
Jack Schlongson: Now that we have that settled though, let me get to my next point. I think, with this little display of my wrestling prowess, I have confirmed something that some of you might have written off as a fluke last week and that fact being: I am UCI's NUMBER ONE fighting champion!
The members of Rekt 'Em cheer on the outside of the ring, trying to overpower the audiences' explosive anger.
Jack Schlongson: You call that list of hit-and-run competitors, champions? Some of them barely defend theirs once a month. I come out every week and make this title MINE, make this show about me, and I will continue to do so until this company recognizes me as its new face. Forget the World title, the Tag Titles, that Hypermedia Belt, The Rising Stars title, or the missing Intercontinental title. Every week, through rain, sleet, and snow, it is ALL about the TV title! It's ALL. ABOUT. ME! No one does what I do! That locker room can only swipe at the spotlight, but I am stepping up and raising this title right in its glow. They just can't compete with me. So, I'mma go, but I'll be back next week, same bat-time, same bat-channel.
Jack winks before he throws down the microphone and exits the ring to "Technicolor Shades" by Yourenigma. |
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Post by Results on Oct 10, 2017 22:49:20 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Oct 10, 2017 22:50:15 GMT -6
Zombie McMorris vs. Keon Adesso
Gravedigger: First off Sebastian, and especially you Jimmy, I'm gonna need the both of you to stand up and show respect to the man who beat 52 other men in War last week and proved that he's not just a god of announcing but still a god of wrestling as well!
Jimmy Garcia: I think you just did a good job of that yourself.
Sebastian Reid: I have to give you your due. As a fellow wrestler that was a damn impressive performance.
Gravedigger: Speaking of great champions my man Z Mac is in the next match. The Guardians couldn't stop him from winning the world title. Kevin Bishop couldn't stop him from winning the world title. Even his own partner couldn't stop him from winning the world title. Zombie McMorris is gonna wreck house tonight.
Jimmy Garcia: Don't sleep on his opponent Keon Adesso. He was impressive in defeat in his debut.
Gravedigger: Seriously?
Jimmy Garcia: Well.. um.. you're supposed to hype these match to built interest for the fans.
Taylor Lorde: The following contest is a non title match scheduled for one fall, currently in the ring Keon Adesso!
Gravedigger: See, even Taylor Lorde don't give him much a chance.
"Killed By Death" hits the PA system as the arena begins to fill with smoke. The Guitar and drums kick in and play up as the crowd search for ZMAC. Them vocals smash the speakers as the spot light is shows ZMAC whose stand out in the middle section of the area.
Fans: If you squeeze me lizard, I’ll put my snake in you. I’m a romantic adventure and a reptile too.
He stands there with his back turned to the ring with his arms out in a ‘T’ pose. He turns to face the crowd as he takes a few steps down the aisle way.
Fans: Easy! Easy!
He pumps the crowd up as they go rabid for the Coked UP Mad Man who reaches into his pulls out a vial of cocaine and snorts it.
Fans: The only time I’m gonna be easy is when I’m.. KILLED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH!
Taylor Lorde: Making his way to the ring.. from the Big Easy.. He stands six feet, six inches tall and weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds… The current UCI Heavyweight Champion of the world! He is the Coked Up Mad Man.. ZZZOOMMMBIE… MCMORRR-IISSS!
Fans: I’m a lone wolf ligger but I ain’t no pretty boy!
Fans swarm him as he takes beer after beer and chugs them; getting some all over his face and chest. ZMAC is in a sea of “Dove Killah Certified OG’s” as the fans lift him up and body surf him down to the crowd barrier.
Fans: KILLED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH!
He jumps the barrier and slides into the ring. ZMAC takes to the adjacent turnbuckle and taunts the crowd before taking off his jacket and throwing it to the towards the time keeper. The Honey Badger has arrived.
Jimmy Garcia: Zombie showing off that world title belt to the fans. You know he has to be proud of his first world title in wrestling.
Gravedigger: You kidding. He's the honey badger. He don't give a fuck about anything except fucking people up and snorting that coke. He's a straight up savage. And look at this Keon attacks from behind at the opening bell. I guess that's the smart thing he could have done. Ax kick! Does nothing. Zombie just stares at Keon.
Sebastian Reid: I think Adesso might have a problem here. He does up to the top rope. Missile dropkick is batted aside by Z Mac. Zombie taunting him now.
Z-Mac: LOL FGT!
Jimmy Garcia: He motions for Keon to try again. He bounces off of the ropes and vicious clothesline... doesn't even move Zombie.
Gravedigger: Zombie isn't a big man but his pain threshold is legendary. Adesso hammering away with punches now. That also doesn't seem to be doing anything to Z Mac. He does manage to power him to the corner now and he climbs the ropes continuing to hammer away on Z Mac. When your opponent smiles at you while you're hitting them that has to be unnerving.
Sebastian Reid: Z Mac atomic drops Adesso out of the corner. And a vicious big boot causes him to do a 360! I think Z Mac is done playing around. This week he claimed he was going to beat him with his own promo. Apparently he also decided to take some of his best shots in the ring as well..
Gravedigger: Those were his best shots? LOL Spinning powerslam by Zombie. He backs off. Is he showing mercy to Keon.. allowing him to get up? Ha ha ha ha! Of course not! He was just setting him up for the Boot Party! Then he does it again! A third boot party! After those savage kicks to the head Adesso isn't moving.
Jimmy Garcia: Referee should probably call this match off. Z Mac makes a cover.
1..
2..
pull up!
Jimmy Garcia: He didn't need to do that.
Sebastian Reid: But he wanted to. This is your world champion. And he's showing why right here. Zombie rolls Adesso onto his stomach now and decides to curb stomp the life out of him!
Jimmy Garcia: Thankfully he finally backs off of the prone form of his opponent. Wait.. he just reached into his pocket and now he's snorting cocaine on live television! Where's the DEA when you need them?
Gravedigger: They don't want none of Z Mac, you pussy. And look at that.. Lous Thesz press into vicious punches. The Stop he's Already Dead! Those punches are even harder when Z is all coked up like he is now. But he pulls away before the referee can stop this. He doesn't want this to end apparently. Maybe Z Mac is offended the UCI booked him against someone so obviously overmatched. He's dragging Keon to the top rope.. and Axe Wound off the top! You can count to a hundred after that. Not hyperbole either. Literally a hundred. Maybe a thousand.
1..
2..
3!
Taylor Lorde: Your winner of the match, the UCI World Heavvyweight Champion, Zombie McMorris!
Sebastian Reid: Simply brutal. Z Mac sends a message to everyone else in the Killing Floor match later this month. If he can do that in a regulation match, what can he do in a match with no rules? That thought makes me glad to be retired that's for sure.
After the match, the lights dim.
Gravedigger: Well this is never good.
Instead of someone running out, the video screen lights up. We see a man from behind, standing with only enough light to illuminate his body, not quite enough to make out any details. A voiceover begins.
Voice: Next week, one of the most dominant men from outside of United Championship Infinite will finally step foot in a UCI ring.
As the voice speaks, the camera pans around the man's body - still not offering any clues to his identity, but revealing one very important detail - he's wearing a WCF t-shirt.
Voice: The man that is destined to turn UCI upside down and change the face of the company will not only just enter the ring - he'll be making his UCI wrestling debut, showing the UCI audience his mastery of the squared circle.
The UCI audience all talk amongst themselves, wondering who this could be.
Voice: UCI, you have one week, because after that? Your whole world is about to change.
With that, the video ends. As the lights come back on, Zombie McMorris is visibly upset over having his post match ruined by this random vignette.
Sebastian Reid: Well, Digger, you know much more about WCF than I do, who do you think it could be?
Gravedigger: I honestly have no idea.. but I hope he knows what he's getting into. |
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Post by Results on Oct 10, 2017 22:51:17 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Oct 10, 2017 22:52:48 GMT -6
Kevin Bishop vs. Damian Kaine
Jimmy Garcia: We got a big one for you tonight folks. Hard to believe this isn’t our main event. The hatred on display. A sensei and the promising pupil. Some stories write themselves, but we’re here anyways. You guys got thoughts on this?
Gravedigger: I hope Bishop does what Damian Kaine couldn’t, off the brat. Oh don’t look at me like that. You guys know thought it too.
Sebastian Reid: Kaine has the heart to beat Bishop…. does he have the talent though. I’m pulling for him.
Gravedigger: Fuck that, squash match? What, no takers?
The entire arena falls into complete darkness, all lights have been taken. The audience left in darkness until a booming sound explodes out of the public announce system, taking control over the speakers. Words, the words of a woman's voice are seen on the titan-tron as the introduction begins.
See, the world from afar...
Every time that harsh drop of the bass pounds on the stereo system, the lights shine in synchronization of the beat.
Like dust from a star...
"Event Horizon" by Stitched Up Heart officially begins as the drums start picking up along the song. A single spotlight emerges center stage exposing Kevin Bishop's back to the crowd, the design of his jacket the only thing seen to the audience's eyes.
Taylor Lorde: And on his way to the ring…. from NYC…. he is King of the Brotherhood…. Kevin Bishop!
With the hoodie over his head, he slowly turns around to look at the disloyal fools booing him, slandering his name in their sheer ignorance. The chorus of the song begins which he expands his arms out to the side and a flash of golden fireworks explodes on each side of the stage. After that sequence has finished, he removes the hoodie from on top of his head then marches down the entrance path.
Jimmy Garcia: It’s Damian Kaine! He’s wailing on his former mentor at the ramp. Bishop fighting back.
Gravedigger: Connors, get your fat ass up there. Refs these days.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop takes control with some good knees.
Sebastian Reid: Ever the tactician. Taking the wind right out of DK.
JM: Throwing hoodie off in disgust. Someone just got a nice souvenir. Bet it turns up on EBay tomorrow. Dragging the younger fighter to ring with knees to keep him in place. He rolls Damian back in the ring. Fans showing their hatred from all over the area, as he climbs to the apron. Kaine is up!
Sebastian Reid:: That baseball slide will do some good. Going for the legs.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop regains and grapples over the ropes. Exchanging punches… looks like Damian is getting the better end. That shoulder thrust has Bishop in place, Kaine balancing on the second ropes… a suplex into the ring! Bishop shattering to the canvas.
Gravedigger: Whatever, you know DK is just delaying the end. He’ll never keep this shit up. Mark my words, Kaine is going to choke.
Sebastian Reid: Well he’s in control now. Nice headlock by the former student. Fluke or not, you have to give the kid credit. So much talent and heart go into everything he does.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop regaining… shoulder strikes break the hold. Hitting the ropes now and smashing Kaine to the floor behind a spinning elbow. DK lingering on the floor while Bishop applies a sidelock of his own. He’s taunting the kid now.
“You wanted to be a Guardian? You had it all, Damian!”
Jimmy Garcia: Mind games from one of the game’s best. What’s he doing?
Sebastian Reid: Oh man, what a star. He’s brided that headlock into the Muta’s lock. Damn, he’s good.
“Where are your Guardians now!?”
Jimmy Garcia: He’s tearing Kaine apart by the body and soul.
Gravedigger: I already told you that. But no, we want the boy to upend the master. Will. Not. Happen.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop rolls out, looking for new ways to teach his former prospect.
Gravedigger: You mean teach him respect. Damian thought the Guardians were his salvation. They can’t even stop one man. Besides, they play by the rules anyhow. They wouldn’t interfere.
Jimmy Garcia: Kaine pulling himself by the ropes with Bishop watching from the opposite side. Insidious intent on that man’s face. Gives you chills. I think he’s goading Damian to fight back. Both now joining in the center.
Sebastian Reid: Fans might enjoy this little game. Offering the wrists look fun from here, but it could backfire on Bishop. You never give someone a second breath.
Jimmy Garcia: Kaine takes his bait for a lockup and meet a hard knee. Bishop giving that Dikembe “no-no” right to Damian’s face. Huge thrust! DK just rammed a shoulder into Bishop’s gut. He takes the arms, hooking them hard… man, he slammed a little more on that double underhook suplex. His mentor writhing on one side. A cover!
1…
2…
Sebastian Reid: A good try from the student, but not enough to keep the master down. Connors showing two. Kaine pulls his hair back wondering what more can he do tonight.
Jimmy Garcia: He’s taking control now with some sort of surfboard stretch. Something to slow things down. Although we have to think Bishop has something else in store for situations like these.
Gravedigger: He’s the ex-World Champ. Of course, he does, Jimmy!
Jimmy Garcia: Well Damian has found a great opening and is taking full advantage. Bishop reaches the ropes with a foot. Connors calling for the break. Ooh… that smarts.
Sebastian Reid: Kaine took his eye off for a second. And Bishop hit that quick kick. He has the arm now, giving the kid another dose of knees.
Gravedigger: A steady diet for brats. He won’t make a mistake like that again.
Jimmy Garcia: He’s locking the leg to a slumping DK. Is he looking for an exploder?
“Never forget your family, Damian. Blood is forever.”
Jimmy Garcia: Another tease as Bishop drops Damian with a hard knee. He teased us all with an exploder, his back pocket ace. Kaine headbutts backwards for space. Both circling now. What reflexes… Bishop ducks the clothesline… going for the Iron Maiden!
Gravedigger: Waiter, check please.
Jimmy Garcia: Part one, now the second, applying that dragon sleeper. I can’t hear him over this crowd. They’re loving every minute. Connors on top of the action, asking for the tap.
Sebastian Reid: DK will collapse before he taps, especially against his old mentor.
Gravedigger: Then get the pillows. Because the Sandman is coming.
Jimmy Garcia: He just slammed a reluctant Kaine to the mat. Holding down the shoulders.
1...
2…
Jimmy Garcia: Just in time! Damian Kaine will not go down! Bishop looking to Connors in disgust.
Gravedigger: He had that one, Jimmy. Connors can’t even count calories. Why do you think he could count to three? This is bullshit.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop just threw Kaine into the turnbuckle.
CHOP! woo CHOP! woo
Sebastian Reid: Wrestling fans are the best. Damian Kaine!
Jimmy Garcia: Where did that come from! He just surged from the corner and nailed a belly-to-belly on Kevin Bishop looks dazed. He rises right into an enzugiri kick.
Sebastian Reid: Like thunder!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop slow to his feet. Kaine has him in a headlock. What could he be looking for here? Screaming and charging right for those ropes… # Checkmate … oh man!
Gravedigger: Told you he’s not going to lose.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop, in desperation, threw DK like a lawn dart. In doing so, he avoids what could have been a quick finish to a match he once had in hand. Both men grounded and looking for answers. Pain will not stop them. There will be blood tonight. Life changes, families divide, but this is more than a moment between old blood. This is old V young. Master V Student. Past V Future. And the fans are going nuts for it all. And my hands are shaking.
Sebastian Reid: Taking two corners seems their best option. Avoiding contact is the main goal here. You don’t want to fall into a bad step. One mistake could be fatal.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop sidestepping with his back to the ropes. You have to wonder what plans he’s got in mind. He goes for a grapple… Damian slips underneath and hits the ropes. He’s rocketing back…
CRACK!
Jimmy Garcia: Huge super kick! And down goes Bishop. Fans begging for that 450 we’ve seen so many times before. Kaine smiles in route to the top rope. Bishop is a dead fish there. Wasting no time on his descent… Lord and mercy! Black Death… Black Death! And Damian Kaine flips over him into a prone position. Bishop covers in haste!
1…
2…
3…
Taylor Lorde: And your winner… Kevin Bishop!
Sebastian Reid: Well, your guy won.
Gravedigger: Pay up.
Sebastian Reid: Double or nothing on Alex Richards?
Gravedigger: Just admit you’re broke.
Jimmy Garcia: Aren’t we all? Emotional win for the former World Champ. Damian Kaine gave almost more than he could handle. But in the end, the veteran comes out on top. |
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Post by Results on Oct 10, 2017 22:53:39 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Oct 10, 2017 22:54:58 GMT -6
Shadowlove vs. Oblivion vs. Alex Richards
Taylor Lorde: The following is the maiiiin event of the evening and is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Taylor Lorde: Introducing fi-!
“PERSONAL JESUS” by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system throughout the arena.
A mixture of multicolored laser lights and strobe lights illuminates throughout the arena with theatrical smoke and fog sets the scene like a Four Season Fashion Show. The audience throughout the arena stands in unison and waiting in anticipation for what is about to be the "New and Improved" fashion wrestling trend in the United Championship Infinite’s season.
Coming through the theatrical smoke and fog and appearing under the fashion show lighting is the one and only, First Couple of Professional Wrestling. Your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, along with his the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, and personal bodyguard/valet, "The Fashionista Sensei" Ms. Miyamoto.
His classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair was perfect and showing off his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare radiating from his sparkling blue eyes. He was stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe along with his custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned pants and custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned boots.
Her raven black hair was pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes remained hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses on her perfectly flawless nose. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin encased in a form-fitting shimmering silver and Vantablack Mandarin sequin dress with a French-cut up the side to her thigh designed by Stella McCartney and Vantablack Jimmy Choo stilettos.
They stop for a second, taking in the aura of throughout the arena, and pose like fashion models on a catwalk.
The audience throughout the arena starts going wild and begin clicking away with their cameras like the paparazzi during a "Hollywood" premiere.
She leads the way down the aisle with flirty seductive confidence as he follows a few steps behind her enjoying the view and make their way to the squared-circle.
He slides into the squared-circle like, well, like the slithering snake in the grass that he is so proudly of being in the United Championship Infinite.
And his sweet and lovely Miyamoto, with Bushidō catlike precision, walks up the ringside steps with flirty, seductive confidence and enters the squared-circle through the second rope.
“HER STRUT” by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system throughout the arena.
He stands in the middle of the squared-circle and spreads his arms straight out from his sides and bows his head, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus Wept!
The audience throughout the arena starts going wild and begin clicking away with their cameras like the paparazzi during a "Hollywood" premiere for Mr. UCI.
She exudes fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around him to a rousing "Standing Ovation" from the audience throughout the arena.
The audience throughout the arena keep going wild and keep clicking away with their cameras like the paparazzi during a "Hollywood" premiere for Mr. UCI’s better half, Ms. United Championship Infinite.
She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose of her angelic looking face showing off her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
She takes her proper place cradling against his muscular body and moving very little, never turning her head, or revealing any kind of expression that gives the viewing audience at home a clue as to her innermost thoughts. With the exception of a very sharp and penetrating affection and devilishly delicious, malevolent and pleasurable, mischievously smile coming from her very luscious and alluring lips, she starts caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
He raises his head with his classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair in slow motion and shows off his chiseled fighter's face and stares out at the magnificent crowd throughout the arena with an ice cold stare which radiants from his sparkling blue eyes.
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye remain focused and alert to the surroundings around him.
A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a "I believed that I need no introduction, I’m The Face Of The Franchise, the whole ‘F’N’ Show, Mr. UCI, if you will, or whatever expletive that you want to put in front of my name” shit-eating grin as he strips off his newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe like a Chippendale's dancer.
His sweet and lovely Miyamoto raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face while hiding her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes with her middle finger. And with Bushidō catlike precision, she exits the squared-circle through the second rope and walks down the ringside steps with flirty seductive confidence.
A couple of salty looking Japanese dudes named Kyodai and Shatei, known as the bodyguard duo of Black Rain, both sporting jet-black crew-cut hair, sunglasses, custom-made black Giorgio Armani business suits appear out of nowhere and stand in an on guard, very protective, ever vigilant attack formation behind her outside the squared-circle.
Sebastian Reid: Not one to wait for his introduction, The Handsome-Half Breed is here and ready to go!
Jimmy Garcia: You gotta think he’s extra motivated after losing the TV title a couple weeks ago at Rite of Passage!
Gravedigger: I don’t think he’s that phased by it honestly.
Sebastian Reid: Blockbuster main event here, I’d say Shadowlove has other things to worry about right now.
The opening guitar solo to I'm Not Like Everybody Else by the Kinks plays then Alex Richards steps through the curtain, his doctor's bag in one hand, a boot filled to the brim with Zim-Quila in the other. He chugs his drink then tosses the boot into the crowd before raising the title in the air to massive cheers. He then starts walking towards the ring a serious look on his face with a hint of a smile making it seem like he's probably putting it on, which he is. On the way to the ring he delivers his trademark hard high fives to the fans. At least those brave enough to want them. He wanders around ringside talking to fans for a few minutes killing time before finally entering the ring.
Gravedigger: Speaking of bigger things..
Sebastian Reid: You can’t help yourself, can you?
Gravedigger: Nope.
Jimmy Garcia: Two time tag champ, Watch the Throne winner, former world champ, and the runner up in last year’s Killing Floor match! Only a few people are anywhere near as accomplished as The Archdu-
The house lights go out, as lighter colored lights come on. The multiple cameras pan around the jam packed United Center. The fans are holding up various signs. The atmosphere is explosive and the crowd is cheering. "Oblivion" by Mastadon begins to play. The blaring guitar begins to play.
The house lights go out. The crowd begins to murmur. Strobe lights begin to flash, as bright white lasers begin to flash. Two bright spotlights hit the entrance stage. The music continues to thump. Some of the fans are thrashing and/or dancing a long with the music...
BOOM!!
Explosive fire pyro shoots straight up, on the stage and down the ramp. Then right about that time, Oblivion slowly comes, with a dead stare. The music continues the blare out and rattled the arena.
Oblivion slowly begins to walk down to the edge of the entrance stage, bringing in the cheers, of the crowd...
Crowd: OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!!
Past the entrance stage there are sixteen hooded cloaked individuals, eight on each side of the aisle, with their heads down. Chanting...
Hooded individuals: A-WHOO!! AWHOO!! AWHOO!!
Taylor Lorde: Coming down to the ring... The former UCI Television Champion!! From The Deepest and Darkest Side of a Sick Man's Mind... Weighing in at 325 pounds... IT is The Monster... Oblivion!!
Oblivion drags IT's right leg as drags along a sledgehammer. The Monster snears at a nearby camera, right before Oblivion slowly run up the steel steps and climb the turnbuckle from out the ring, once again throwing up IT's massive right arm.
Crowd: OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!!
Oblivion leaps into the ring, stomping around, taking long strides, barking, shaking the top ring rope.
Sebastian Reid: Oblivion never fails to make me feel filthy.
Gravedigger: As you should.
Jimmy Garcia: In just a few months in UCI, Oblivion has made a name for himself as a force to be reckoned with and even earned a TV title along the way!
Sebastian Reid: Three very respected competitors, one main event, here we go!
DING DING DING!!
Richards leans against his corner, taunting Obi and Shadow to bring it. Before the two can go for it, they turn their attention to each other.
Gravedigger: Shadowlove posing in Oblivion’s face, I like the confidence.
The Monster responds to The Handsome Half-Breed’s shit eating grin by stepping up forehead to forehead and roaring in his face.
Sebastian Reid: Shadowlove still holding that pose in the face of-
Jimmy Garcia: BIG RIGHT HAND FROM OBLIVION AND HERE WE GO!
The Monster lands a few more big shots to Shadow’s face before he’s sent towards Richards corner.
Gravedigger: Elbow to the back from Richards, but-
Sebastian Reid: Stinger splash in the corner from The Monster!
Jimmy Garcia: That one hit both Richards and Shadowlove!
Shadow collapses to the mat as Oblivion leaps through the air for a clothesline on Richards in the corner.
Sebastian Reid: Richards catching him though, pivoting around.
Jimmy Garcia: BELLY TO BELLY FROM ALEX RICHARDS!
1!
KICKOUT!
Gravedigger: Gonna take more than that to take down Oblivion.
Sebastian Reid: You know, that’d be at least a two count against most others facing Richards, but Oblivion isn’t like most!
Richards spins around to a sitting position just as Shadowlove is back up, bouncing off the ropes to catch The Archduke off guard.
Jimmy Garcia: Low clothesline from Shadowlove, arm draped over Richards!
1!
NO!
Gravedigger: Another quick pin there.
Shadowlove spins around, hooking his arm around Richards head as the big man slowlypushes to his feet with Shadowlove still maintaining the hold.
Sebastian Reid: Shadowlove with nowhere to go.
Jimmy Garcia: POWERSLAM FROM RICHARDS AND THE PIN!
1!
2!
Gravedigger: Oblivion leaping to break up the pin!
Richards tries to push off Shadowlove and back up, but Oblivion stays on top of him with forearms and elbows before pulling him up himself.
Sebastian Reid: Big headbutt from Oblivion, Richards wobbled a bit from that hit!
Oblivion whips Richards off the rope and The Archduke rebounds off, before literally turning the other cheek as he leaps up and hits Oblivion with a rear view.
Jimmy Garcia: Ouch!
Gravedigger: Ouch is right, that’s a big dude.
The crowd roars to life as Richards turns to Shadowlove, pulling The Handsome Half-Breed up before locking his arms around his waist.
Sebastian Reid: Richards flipping Shadow up into a crucifix.
Jimmy Garcia: Shadowlove slides behind Richards, good counter there as he spins The Archduke around.
Sebastian Reid: SEDUCTIVE HANDSOMENESS!
Gravedigger: Miyamoto pleased with that one, Shadowlove with the pin.
1!
2!
Jimmy Garcia: FOOT ON THE ROPE!
Miyamoto screams in frustration, throwing Richards foot on the rope before hopping onto the apron to argue with the ref.
Sebastian Reid: Oblivion from behind, but the ref distracted by Miyamoto!
Gravedigger: 5150!
Oblivion drops down for the pin as the ref ejects Miyamoto from ringside.
Jimmy Garcia: Ref turning finally, pin being counted!
1!
2!
3!
NO!
Sebastian Reid: HOW?!
Gravedigger: That distraction from Miyamoto bought Shadowlove just a tenth of a second to kickout, but that’s all it took this time!
Oblivion pushes up and begins screaming out in anger, tearing a nearby turnbuckle to shreds before turning back towards Shadowlove and yanking him up for another 5150.
Jimmy Garcia: Shadowlove slipping out just in time!
Sebastian Reid: DARK GIFT!
Shadowlove and Oblivion both flop to the mat and The Handsome Half-Breed crawls slowly over to Oblivion before draping the arm over The Monster.
1!.....
2!....
3!-
Jimmy Garcia: Alex Richards pulling Shadowlove off just in time!
Sebastian Reid: Kick to the gut from Shadowlove, pulling Richards in for a second straight Dark Gift in this one!
Jimmy Garcia: SPIKED SAMOAN PUNCH!
As Shadowlove drops and rolls out, grabbing at the throat, Richards steps toward the downed Oblivion, sloppily pulling him up.
Gravedigger: Elbow from Oblivion, Richards sent to the corner.
Sebastian Reid: Splash from Oblivion!
Jimmy Garcia: RICHARDS WITH THE KNEES UP, RIGHT TO THE FACE OF THE MONSTER!
Richards pulls a stunned Oblivion in and props himself up on the turnbuckle before hitting the-
Sebastian Reid: SANITY SLIP!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match, Alex Richards!!
Gravedigger: Tough battle for sure.
Jimmy Garcia: Understatement of the century! Huge momentum for Richards going towards Killing Floor!
Sebastian Reid: Well, that’s all she wrote for this week, ladies and gentlemen! Goodnight and we’ll see you next time! |
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