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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:38:14 GMT -6
Opening Segment
Pyro hits the stage in the Golden 1 Center in Sacramento as we get a shot of a jam packed crowd before panning to our announce team of Jimmy Garcia, Sebastian Reid, and Gravedigger.
Sebastian Reid: Welcome to Overload from Sacramento, ladies and gentlemen! Tonight we’ve got a-
The slow beat of Rihanna's "Same Ol' Mistakes" rolls through the arena as blue and white spotlights, synchronized to the music, flare on and off against a darkened stage. Bonnie Blue appears, the UCI World Championship slung over her shoulder, peering at the audience over the rims of a pair of teal shutter shades. A mixture of boos and cheers pours forth from all directions as she surveys her domain, a defiant smirk on pink-glossed lips.
I can just hear them now / "How could you let us down?"
They don't know what I felt / Or see it from this way round
Sliding the shades back up, Bonnie makes her way along the aisle with a confident swagger, posing for a few selfies with fans as she reaches ringside. After a few pictures, the champ takes the shades off and tosses them to an excited young fan.
Feeling it overtake / All that I used to hate
Wonder what if we trade / I tried but it's way too late
The Daughter of Time ascends the steps and slips into the ring, lifting the UCI World Championship high with one hand, a microphone in the other. As she lowers the strap and replaces it on her shoulder, the music fades away to reveal a few lingering echos of disapproval.
Bonnie Blue: Yeah, yeah... boo all y'all want. Won't change the fact that, in spite of Spencer Adams' best efforts to strip this belt off my waist, I come through Election Day STILL your YOU-SEA-EYE World Champion! Three opponents -- THREE! -- all of 'em with somethin' to prove that night. All of 'em hungry for this, right here...
She pats the gold plate resting on her shoulder.
Bonnie Blue: An' every last one of 'em gave the very best they had that night, believe me. Ain't no shame in losin' under them circumstances, but let's face it, out of Kevin Bishop, Casey Holliday, an' Shadowlove -- what did y'all really expect? Of the three, only Casey can claim a victory over me, an' THAT was just the Golden Ticket match, so who gives a shit? Point is, unlike our previous World Champion, I don't get to handpick my opponents and coast through easy one-on-one defenses, no... I finally get the opportunity that I have proven over an' over that I deserve -- I WIN -- an' the first thing Spencer does is start booking these matches against multiple opponents. He didn't do that to Bishop. He didn't do that to Andre Holmes or Howard Black. So when I put down three of the best he could throw at me, Spencer goes on the hunt for another ringer from OUTSIDE this organization, while his two new lackeys put their heads together an' come up with a list of the worst this comp'ny has to offer to finally narrow it down to Bolas de-fuckin' Arana.
The audience pops at the mention of the luchador.
Bonnie Blue: No, no, NO! Do NOT cheer that asshole! This is a dude so desperate to make an impact that he actually went out lookin' for a way to enhance his non-existent abilities -- an' now look at him! He's a freak of nature, he ain't even human anymore! After all the shit I took from you people for bein' what I am, an' y'all cheer for THAT --
"Feel Invincible" by Skillet starts to beat in the arena and the fans roar their approval as the Inhuman Freak of Nature walks out from the back. He smiles wide and his long tongue whips out and back in and he raises a mic to his mouth as the music stops.
Bolas: I'm curious Bonnie, would you like some cheese to go with that wine?
The crowd laughs and cheers.
Bolas: What happened to the Bonnie that I respected when I got here? The one that took everything as it came and fought to be at the top. Instead, all I see is a baby who's throwing a fit because her rattle fell out of her crib and she can't reach it. So you can't hand pick your opponents. So you don't get what you want. Stop whining about it and just be a dam champion.
The crowd cheers.
Bolas: As for me, well you can say what you want. Call me a freak or whatever. It won't change the fact that I am going to march to that ring and throw everything I have at you. It won't stop what is coming for the Daughter of Time. In fact...why wait. I can just walk down this ramp here..."
Bolas starts to walk towards the ring.
Bolas:...climb up those steps and we can throw down right now!
Bolas starts to walk to the ring as "True North" bursts forth from the P.A, and sure enough out comes FPV. Not the backstage interviewer Frank Patrick Venable that the UCI Galaxy has come to know, but a different looking version.
Jimmy Garcia: What a strange development this is. According to rumors circulating all week, this person claiming to be FPV is apparently from (and I quote) "another universe." Considering Bonnie is involved in this, I'm willing to believe it.
FPV stays on the entrance ramp, microphone in hand as the crowd cheers him on.
FPV: United. Championship. Infinite.
Cheap pop for the name of the promotion!
FPV: You know back when I first started to hear this name, I didn't know what to make of it. This obviously not my home promotion, not even my home....aaah forget it, you guys wouldn't understand. Needless to say, I have no history with this place. So why in sam hell am I here challenging for the UCI World Title. Well that's very simple.
He then points at Bonnie, a determined look in his eye.
FPV: I have history...with you, little witch.
Another pop as Bonnie looks on from within the ring.
FPV: You're actions in this promotion have had consequences all over. At least when Pantheon were in their prime ruining the industry, they kept it in one centralized location. But you? You've made this a much...MUCH bigger issue. And the fact that it was YOU of all people to do this...well quite frankly it breaks my heart. I thought you were one of THE GOOD ONES, Bonnie. One of those people who would stick to their morals through thick and thin. Sad to see I was wrong there.
So Bonnie, when Spencer Fuckin' Adams came to me asking for help, another one who lose his way over the past few months, that should tell you just how desperate he was. I accepted the call, because I knew if I put my mind to it, I could easily take that big strap away from you and fix all this. I've been able to hang with your so-called "Father" in my career, even defending a tag title against him when his career as a pro wrestler was fading. I'll be more then able to hang with you.
Frank then turns his attention to Bolas, looking at him confusedly from ringside.
FPV: Now Bolas, you're different. I've got no history with you, and you've given me no reason to beef with you. Plus you've got the backing of The Gents, which is a good sign. I know you're excited to have your own shot at Bonnie. I just want you to know that I don't care how this goes down, Number One Contender match or a triple threat at the PPV. Either way, you're going to have a shot, I'm not gonna shit on you under these circumstances.
The Gents suddenly come hurtling down the ramp, skidding to a stop right in front of Bolas, stopping him from going anywhere forward. They are holding their hands up and shaking their heads, mics in hand.
The crowd start to boo as they see them stopping the fight.
Jenson: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Bolas, man, no. Not today.
Teo: As the General Entertainment and Nurturing Talent Specialists.
Jenson: I thought it was New talent?
Teo shrugs. Bonnie looks on in disgust as FPV stands looking rather OK with it all. Bolas, well, he's itching to fight.
Teo: As the GENTS. We have to make sure that our choice
Jenson: Our guy.
Teo: Our number one draft pick
Jenson: True, true.
Teo: We have to make sure that he is in tip top physical shape and has everything he needs to win that belt.
Bolas doesn't look like he wants to stop - he still looks like he wants to fight.
Jenson: You fighting is admirable and all, I mean who wouldn't want to destroy all of Baywatch.
Teo: They're the worst.
Jenson: They absolute worst. But you know, you have to focus buddy. You have this shot at Summermania.
Teo: So glad they changed that name.
Jenson: I know, right?
Jenson turns his attention to Bolas again, this time he looks at him with an intense focus.
Jenson: You got this, it's a great opportunity, we picked you because you have the heart, you won't give up and you won't let us down, we know this but, Bolas my friend. You need to learn when to strike. Do you strike now when there is nothing at stake other than hubris? That's what Baywatch want. They want you to get mad, to get riled, they want you to just jump in right now and go all guns blazing. They know they can get to you then. Hell they probably have a number of goons waiting to take you out.
Bonnie Blue: Whoa, whoa, whoa -- hold up. This, here, tonight... this ain't about #beachkrew. This is about me, fightin' month after month for the right to face Kevin Bishop for this belt, about how Spencer only gave me the shot because he expected me to lose, about how I gave the YOU-SEA-EYE the spectacle of a lifetime, made HISTORY, elevated this company to another level -- but all any of you see is a villain. Well, let me tell ya, y'all ain't seen NOTHIN' yet!
Jenson looks at Bonnie and shakes his head in disappointment, so does Teo.
Jenson: Or do you want to strike when it is the opportune moment? You're ready, we know this. You want to fight, we know this, but not here. Not right now. It's not worth it.
Bolas looks at Jenson, then at Teo, then at Bonnie. Still fixing for a fight.
Jenson: Trust me man, don't play their game, let's stick to the gameplan. Fight them when necessary, we'll sort you out with someone to take your frustrations out on next week. Just be patient for now. Hell, you could probably fight Jones. Bonnie might feel it if you hit her hard enough.
Teo: I'm not sure that's how it works?
Jenson: I'm sure we can find out. Bolas, what do you say man? Plan A or plan B?
Teo is working out which plan is which in his head, Bonnie is scowling impatiently in the ring. FPV is still watching in amusement.
Bonnie Blue: Plan A -- Get Wreckt. Plan B -- BEND. THE. KNEE. Your choice.
Bolas looks angry as he pushes the GENTS out of the way and takes two steps forward. He takes a deep breath and looks at the crowd, he's looking like he's ready to run in and fight. He lifts the mic to his mouth
Bolas: Fine. I'll wait till Summermania. Because lets face it, the only thing I'll get out of kicking your time jumping ass tonight is a big dose of satisfaction. But I want more then that. I want you to watch me take that belt from you. Keep your eye on the clock Bonnie, because nothing is going to save you from an Absolute Resolution!
The crowd aren't happy, they want a fight, Jenson and Teo are making sure this doesn't get out of hand though.
Crowd: LET THEM FIGHT LET THEM FIGHT!
Jenson and Teo are ushering Bolas away, slowing backing him up the ramp as he keeps his eyes firmly on Bonnie. |
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:40:05 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:41:20 GMT -6
ZMAC Segment
“Killed By Death.” By Motorhead hits the PA system. ZMAC can be seen in the archway of the middle section across from the hard camera. He turns in his familiar T-pose and both the Hypermedia and Television championships on his shoulders as he leaps backwards into the waiting arms of his rats. They surf him down towards the ring and dump him over the barricade. ZMAC grabs a mic from Taylor Lorde and rolls into the ring. He slaps his palm against the mic to prove that its on before he addresses the crowd.
ZMAC: Sacramento, how the hell are you doing tonight.
The crowd cheers.
ZMAC: That’s how ol’ Z is doin’ too except in a couple of weeks, ol’ Z has a task ahead of him. Rather, the world has a task ahead of its damn self. You see, in three weeks time MY Hypermedia Championship and my Television championship will be put on the line an in open challenge because all those fuccbois and FU-KAY-ZEE’S in the back think that Ol’ Z holding two belts is just too much. Truth be told, MY boi, the straight up Savage came to me and told me that he wanted to do some spectacular at up coming pay per view and he felt making yours truly the featured attraction was the best way to do that. He told ya boi:
“ZMAC..” He said. “Z, I’m thinking about really breaking Buy-rate records. I’m really thinking about doing something really special and I know you can this- I have confidence in you.” Then he turned to me and told me about this tournament for the HM and TV Championships and I was like, Nah son – we gone do this – we gone do this right. Put all the fuccbois in on me and watch what happens to them. Make this shit an OPEN CHALLENGE.
Let anyone who thinks they be anyone from a nobody try tah kk-k-k-kum up in the U-SEA-I and try and stach away from ZMAC the very damn thang dat he created with his own two hands..
The HYPERMEDIA CHAMPIONSHIP
The TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
Because the way that ol’ Z sees it- he’s going to hang onto these championships for as long as he damn well feels like it.Truth be told I’m going to be a double champion after this week when I stomp those pret-tay- tit-tays known as Alicia Elkslay and I’ll continue to be a champion all the way through the thirty first of this month.
What I’m say is, there are very few of you out there in the world foolish enough to try and take the Hypermedia Championship away from me and fewer still that maybe -> probably -> if I let them -> could -> take the belt off my boney hands.
But hey, whoever wants to get famous in three weeks, theres an open challenge but ya’ll need to know what cha’ll getting into and know that there ain’t no way out of it. I am the originator. I am the creator. I am the innovator. I am the very soul and essence of the division that none of you can properly comprehend or understand. Even after I get done mopping the floor with three, our, six, ten, fifty or who the fuck ever wants to try and go against ol’ Z-> still ain’t none of you going to understand so don’t stand there and pretend that you’ll be doing the world a favor by trying to take this belt off me.
Pray for yourselves.
Because in three weeks’ time, you’re all gonna need it.
Deuces BITCH! |
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:42:57 GMT -6
Joe Smarts vs. Doc Henry
Taylor Lorde: The next match is a one fall to a finish..
Sebastian Reid: Referee Jackie Mall just cut off Taylor Lorde's introductions for our opening bout.
Gravedigger: Probably didn't want to work this shit match. I know I didn't.
Jimmy Garcia: I'm being told something has happened backstage lets go to the tron were the camera men have found our competitors!
The camera pans over a fallen Joe Smarts to see Doc Henry on the ground and a petite red head holding onto his arm.
Sebastian Reid: Wow! That's a former WCF Wrestler, Cheyenne! Whats she doing!?
Gravedigger: Looks like she's doing us all a favor and taking out our garbage match.
Jimmy Garcia: Oh my gawd! She just snapped Docs arm back! The human arm isn't meant to bend that way it could be broken in half!
Cheyenne crawls over Doc's unconscious body to his opponent and digs a small leather bag from her tattered black and moss colored overcoat. The bag seems to squirm with life, and the freckled face woman slowly turns it over chuckling as cockroaches and grub worms pour from the bag into Joe Smarts mouth and eyes. The woman grabs a fat grub and looks straight at the camera.
Cheyenne: U... Seeeee...EYE! I'm. Here!
With that she takes a large bite and bug juices splatter the screen as the camera quickly returns to the announce desk that holds the appalled faces of the speechless announce team. |
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:44:07 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:46:44 GMT -6
UCI Television Championship Zombie McMorris (c) vs. Alicia Elkslay
Jimmy Garcia: Guys, we’re moving on to our second match of the night- The TV title match.
Sebastian Reid: Ugh, again, another week where we have to watch ZMAC wrestle. What a joke.
Jimmy Garcia: But Reid, the world was impressed by Alicia Elkslay last week and maybe she has what it takes to defeat ZMAC and become to the new TV Champion.
Reid: I hope so, I don’t think anyone wants ZMAC to hold that belt going into the Hypermedia Open.
Wavedigger: Well Reid, why don’t you go in there and do something about it? You wana run your mouth like a big shot- show us. Go in that ring right now and defeat the Coked Up Mad Man. I have full confidence in the Television champion to remain the television champion as well as remain the Hypermedia champion beyond Summermania.
Garcia: I was told that UCI officials liked what they saw of Elkslay and thought that a match with ZMAC was the perfect opportunity.
Reid: Perfect opportunity? Did you say perfect? How is this perfect? I have faith in Alicia too but ZMAC is a crazy killer. I don’t want to see our newest and hottest talent get hurt in only her second week. I want to see her beat ZMAC but there could be a hidden cost to this.
Garcia: Well you know me, guys, I don’t play favorites. However, if I had to, I’d go with Elkslay.
Taylor Lorde: Ladies and gentlemen.. The following match is for the UCI Television Championship! Making her way to the ring first… from Atlanta Georgia… The Angelic Princess…. Alicia Elkslay!
The screen turns into a hazy mixture of black/white/pink, as an image of an Angel appears atop the tron as the intro to Dear Agony's 'Low' resonates its way throughout the PA system. The crowd, although a little unsure on how to react based off the simple imagery and music they have heard/seen to this moment, begin to cheer the moment Alicia bursts out from behind the curtain. A soft sigh leaving her lips, she extends her arms out as if she is an angel, before beginning to half-skip, half-walk her way up the ramp.
Jimmy: Alicia Elkslay, UCI’s newest and hottest talent set to take on Zombie McMorris – one of the most ultra-violent wrestlers in the history of our industry.
"Killed By Death" hits the PA system as the arena begins to fill with smoke. The Guitar and drums kick in and play up as the crowd search for ZMAC. Them vocals smash the speakers as the spot light is shows ZMAC whose stand out in the middle section of the area.
Fans: If you squeeze me lizard, I’ll put my snake in you. I’m a romantic adventure and a reptile too.
He stands there with his back turned to the ring with his arms out in a ‘T’ pose. He turns to face the crowd as he takes a few steps down the aisle way.
Fans: Easy! Easy!
He pumps the crowd up as they go rabid for the Coked UP Mad Man who reaches into his pulls out a vial of cocaine and snorts it.
Fans: The only time I’m gone be easy is when I’m.. KILED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH!
Taylor Lorde: Making his way to the ring.. from the Big Easy.. He stands six feet, six inches tall and weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds… He is the Coked Up Mad Man.. ZZZOOMMMBIE… MCMORRR-IISSS!
Fans: I’m a lone wolf ligger but I ain’t no pretty boy!
Fans swarm him as he takes beer after beer and chugs them; getting some all over his face and chest. ZMAC is in a sea of “Dove Killah Certified OG’s” as the fans lift him up and body surf him down to the crowd barrier.
Fans: KILLED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH! KILLED BY DEATH!
He jumps the barrier and slides into the ring. ZMAC takes to the adjacent turnbuckle and taunts the crowd before taking off his jacket and throwing it to the towards the time keeper. The Honey Badger has arrived.
Reid: It’s such a contrast to see them in the ring together.
Wavedigger: Well Elkslay gives up a foot and about a hundred pounds on ZMAC. I don’t know how well this is going to go for Elkslay.
DING DING
The two circle each other in the middle of the ring, ZMAC trying to get Alicia to jump off sides and make an ill advised first move. Alicia reaches out with her hand to try and make first contact but ZMAC snatches her up in a headlock and dials in the pressure. Alicia is quick to shoot ZMAC off the ropes and knock him down with a beautiful dropkick. Alicia stays on ZMAC with a sharpshooter submission, knowing that she needs to kep ZMAC down but ZMAC makes it towards the ropes almost as fast.
The ref calls for the break.. 1.. 2..3..
Alicia breaks, turning around and kicking ZMAC to the apron. ZMAC gets to his feet but Alicia throws him back inside with a camel clutch suplex.
Reid: I heard that Alicia has a pretty good MMA type background.
Jimmy: Indeed. I heard those rumors going around myself.
Reid: It was a beautiful camel clutch suplex.
Alicia turns around and jumps on ZMAC hitting his with wild strikes and slaps as ZMAC does his best to cover up before summoning the strength to buck her off with his hips. ZMAC takes mount now and whispers something into Alicia’s ear before he starts to choke her.
Reid: Make no mistake about it, that is a clear illegal choke.
Wavedigger: ZMAC sending the message early.
The ref counts ZMAC for the choke.
1..2..3..4..
ZMAC gets up and starts arguing with the ref about the legality of the choke as Alicia rolls ZMAC up from behind.
The pin.
1..
2..
NOO!!
Jimmy: ZMAC kicks out.
Alicia picks up ZMAC and slams him down with a snap suplex following by a belly to back. ZMAC is quick to get up by Alicia whips him off the ropes and connects with a snap powerslam.
Crowd: AN-GEL-LIC… PRIN-CESS !! AN-GEL-LIC.. PRIN-CESS !!
Reid: Alicia with a rolling armbar to ZMAC!
Alicia gets the armbarlocked in but ZMACS long limbs save him again and he is able to roll up and through the armbar, picking Alicia up and laying her out with a sit-out powerbomb.
ZMAC covers Alicia for the pin.
1..
2..
NOO!!
Reid: Alicia Elkslay kicks out!
ZMAC gets up and goes off the ropes for a knee drop but Alicia counters it with an STF! Again ZMAC scrambles but little is working as the STF sinks in deeper and deeper finally ZMAC gets up like a man on fire and vaults over the top rope, landing on the outside and squashing Alicia under his weight.
Jimmy: ZMAC finds one of the more creative ways to escape an STF, He vaulted out of the ring to get her off his back.
The ref starts counting.
1..2…3..
ZMAC gets to his feet and scoop slams Alicia onto the mat.
4..
He picks her up and throws her hard into the barricade.
5..
He walks towards her but she boots him away followed by an elbow smash. Alicia does her best to stay on the offensive, tackling ZMAC against the apron and trying for a swinging neck breaker but ZMAC kicks her legs out and counters..
Wavedigger: DEEP DICK SIX!
6..7..
ZMAC rolls back into the ring.
8.. 9..
Alicia is able to make it back into the ring.
ZMAC shoves her into the turnbuckle and starts to hammer away at Alicia but Alicia takes ZMAC and turns the tables and connects with strikes of her own.
Reid: Compare the strikes. ZMACS are stiff and wild but Alicias are calculated.
Jimmy: And ZMAC is regarded to be one of the best pure strikers in all of wrestling.
Reid: Well Alicia Elkslay is putting the champ on notice.
ZMAC turns the tables again and starts with mounted punches.
1..2..3..4..5..6.7..8..9..
ZMAC switches off his left for his right hand and continues..
10..11..12..13..14..15..
Jimmy: And Alicia Elkslay comes roaring out of the corner trying to take ZMAC down but ZMAC manages to block it.
ZMAC ends up in a side headlock and Alicia locks her wrists in a double arm ddt position…
WHAM!
Reid: The Princesses Lust! Double arm face buster!
The pin.
1..
2..
3…
NOOO!!!
ROPE BREAK !!
Wavedigger: ZMAC, the veteran puts his foot on the ropes.
Alicia gets frustrated with that and starts hammer fisting ZMAC who again reaches for the ropes and the ref has to break the count.
1..2..3..4..
The ref pulls Alicia off of ZMAC and as ZMAC gets to his feet..
WHAM!
Jimmy: The Angelic Song!
ZMAC flies backwards through the ropes and crashes into the guard rail. The ref keeps Alicia backed up as he counts..
1..2..3..4..5…6..
ZMAC gets to his feet and reaches into his pants to pull out a vial of cocaine.
Wavedigger: We know whats happening here. ZMAC about to break out the ol’ PG powder. That hawt dose.
ZMAC bumps a rail.
7..8..
Jimmy: And ZMAC is coking up!
9…
ZMAC slides back into the ring and Alicia is quick to attack him with punches and stomps but MAC withstands it and gets to his feet. Alicia backs off for a moment not knowing what to do but finally she starts unloading.
wham!
wham!
Wham!
Reid: Angelic song after angelic song! Alicia Elkslay trying to chop down the TV Champ.
Wavedigger: Not going to work; that cocaine is kicking in.
Jimmy: ZMAC with that super human ability to withstand punishment.
ZMAC scoops up Alicia for a running powerslam but shes able to slip out.
Reid: Inverted Princesses Lust!
the pin.
1..
2..
NOOO !!!
Wavedigger: ZMAC kicks out.
Alicia gets ZMAC to his feet and lays him out with a Taz-plex. ZMAC stays down but only for a moment. Alicia rushes him but she rushes into a trap..
Wavedigger: Zombie drop!
ZMAC goes to a corner..
ZMAC: BOOT PARTY!
wham!
Reid: NO! Alicia side steps!
WHAM!
Jimmy: Northern Lights Bomb! The Call of the Butterfly.
The pin.
1..
2..
3…
NOOOO!!!!!
Wavedigger: ZMAC kicks out.
Both of them are down..
the ref makes the double count..
1..2..3..4..5..
ZMAC gets up to his feet and hits the ropes connecting with a lionsault.
the pin.
1..
2…
3..
NOOO !!!
Reid: Alicia kicks out!
Jimmy: How incredible is this? Alicia Elkslay is keeping up with the coked up mad man..
ZMAC picks up Alicia and whips her into the turnbuckle. He connects with a stinger splash and then toses her towards the middle of the ring. ZMAC hops onto the top rope and walks it for a speing board hurricanrana.
NOO!!
Reid: The Angelic Princess counters with a powerbomb into sharp shooter.
Jimmy: And now into a modified STF!!
Reid: Now Alicias is just screaming in pain as she lets ZMAC go.
Jimmy: Look right there, I think he bit her. I swear, ZMAC just bit Alicia Elkslay and the ref didn’t see it.
The ref is checking on Alicia…
Wavedigger: FALCON PUNCH! Axe Wound !
Reid: Come on! The ref was checking on Alicia and ZMAC takes advantage of the situation.
The pin…
1..
Reid: NO!!!
2…
Jimmy: This could be…
3 !!!!!
DING DING
Wavedigger: He’s done it! ZMACs done it! He’s retained the TV Championship yet again!
Reid: That is such underhanded bullshit! Alicia almost had him!
Wavedigger: All most but not today!
Taylor Lorde: Ladies and gentlemen… the winner of this match and STILLLL UCI TELEVISION CHAMPION… ZOOMMMBIIEEE …. MCMOORRRIISSSS!!
The ref hands ZMAC his title as he rolls out of the ring, collecting his Hypermedia Championship and disappearing into the crowd.
Jimmy: Don’t sweat it, Alicia. The Angelic Princess put up one hell of a fight. There is nothing to be ashamed of. |
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:48:24 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:49:20 GMT -6
Debut Promo
Fade in from commercial straight into a video package:
Faraway shots of a muscular man training in a gym, wearing a grey hoodie that hides his face, are shown. Different scenes cut from him on a treadmill, and him punching a punching bag, as well as others.
“Renegade” by Jay-Z and Eminem plays in the background.
Then, suddenly, the growling of a lion is heard as invisible claws rip three strikes through the disrupted video, bringing both the video and song to an abrupt stop.
The claw marks remain, but the picture fades into a grey background, with red and gold font.
“WILDCAT” DYLAN WADE DEBUTS
TWO WEEKS FROM TONIGHT.
After fifteen seconds, the shot fades to the next Segment. |
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:52:06 GMT -6
Nova-Kaine vs. L Verez
Jimmy Garcia: Our next bout is the “Hero of the Underdogs” Nova-Kaine facing “Not of this World” L Verez.
Gravedigger: I may not like Nova much, but I'd much rather have that druggie win than that irritating space tranny.
Jimmy Garcia: That “space tranny” hasn't been pinned or submitted” yet.
Gravedigger: It also only won against Joe Smarts. So that's not saying much.
"Paper Cut" by Linkin Park starts blaring across the arena and red beams of light aim at the entrance of the ramp. Nova walks out with the beat of music controlling his movements and he bows to the fans in attendance. Nova throws up a salute and he runs down the ramp full speed.
Taylor Lorde: This contest is set for one fall! Making his way to the ring, from Columbus, Ohio. Weighing 205 lbs. He is the “Hero of the Underdogs” NNNOVA-KAAAAINE!!
At the end of the runway, Nova slides into the ring and pops up in the middle of the ring. He moves to the music a bit more before ascending the far right ring corner, where he bows to the fans. Nova leaps off the top rope and rests against the corner to await his opponent.
Sebastian Reid: Nova is no underdog here. He's got a huge size advantage, weighing almost a full 100 lbs more than L Verez, and also being almost a foot taller as well.
Gravedigger: Funny thing is, the tiny tranny does the grounded moves, while the bigger junky does the flippy shit.
As the beat to her song starts, L Verez starts walking slowly to the stage with her hands behind her back. Then she slowly turns toward the ring, and moves her arms to an X-crossed position, with an L hand sign on her right hand, and a V hand sign on her left. Once the bass drops, she 360 spins as she drops down to one knee. Her right hand is holding up her sunglasses, and her left is out with her "come in peace" symbol. As she gets back up, she lifts her right arm up with an "OK" symbol, and her left arm out to the side with her peace symbol.
Taylor Lorde: And his opponent! Hailing from a distant galaxy, weighing 125 lbs. She is “Not of this World” L VEEERREEEZ!!!
After making some odd gestures to the crowd, she quickly rolls to the ring and heads up the top rope as the beat intensifies with a robotic sci-fi like instrumental. She goes up the top turnbuckle, facing the crowd, lifting her arms back up. Her left back to her side with the peace symbol, and her right making an upside-down OK symbol against her eye, also sticking her tongue out. As her music begins to fade out, she sits on the top turnbuckle, with two peace signs held together in a praying position, as she awaits the arrival of her opponent.
Sebastian Reid: L Verez looks a bit frustrated. That could be from the confrontation she had with Karlie Nash last week. Could that be clogging her mind at a bad time here?
Gravedigger: Let's hope so. Maybe, if we're lucky, Karlie Nash could give it a good beating afterwards too.
Sebastian Reid: You are a terrible person.
Gravedigger: I know!
*DING DING DING!*
Nova-Kaine reaches out for a handshake. L Verez takes a second, due to her frustration, but politely shakes his hand and quickly bows.
Gravedigger: Well, this got much more boring. I think I'm going to take a nap now.
Nova and L lock up, with Nova gaining the advantage and pushing L off.
Jimmy Garcia: Nova-Kaine's size advantage proving to be a problem for L Verez. She gets right back up. Nova signaling for another lock up.
Sebastian Reid: L faking him out though. She ducks under Nova after making a lock up motion, and gets behind him to deliver a chop block!
Gravedigger: Subtracting the size from the equation. Maybe there's hope for this thing after all..
L Verez grabs hold of Nova-Kaine with a headlock, while digging her boot to the back of his knee.
Jimmy Garcia: Added leverage by holding his knee down with her boot. She's really looking to slow this pace down.
Gravedigger: Thank you, Captain Obvious. We had no clue that was going to be its strategy.
L transitions into a chin lock while grabbing Nova’s left hand.
Sebastian Reid: L Verez pulling some of that joint manipulation by pulling Nova’s fingers back!
Nova-Kaine: Ahh! Ahh! I'm too sober for this!
Gravedigger: The damn thing’s biting his fingers! Now that's what I'm talking about!
The ref forces a break and L Verez backs off. Then she quickly grabs his arm to force his hand to the ground and stomps it.
Gravedigger: Damn! Alien tranny ain't playing games today!
The ref pushes her back and gives her a warning. As soon as she looks at Nova, she eats a dropkick.
Gravedigger: And the tranny goes down! Now here comes the careless druggie offence.
Jimmy Garcia: He's going up the top, but L Verez wants none of that as she quickly gets back up and hits a jumping forearm. Nova recovering quickly though, kicking L Verez away. He leaps and ..
*BANG*
Jimmy Garcia: Big crossbody to the alien! He goes for the cover, but L Verez quickly kicks out.
Sebastian Reid: Nova-Kaine not done though. He keeps hold of Verez to clothesline her. Now picking her up again. Suplex position now… And a huge gourdbuster!
1
2- nooo!
L Verez slides under Nova-Kaine after the kick out and goes over him.
Gravedigger: Sleeper hold! Its locking it in!
Sebastian Reid: Legs and arms both wrapped around Nova. L Verez has all the leverage here!
Gravedigger: Not for long. Nova’s getting up now.
Sebastian Reid: Nova-Kaine quickly backs L Verez to the corner to break the hold. To the opposite corner now. And a big flying side kick to the Universal Protector! Back to the opposite corner… And ANOTHER flying side kick! L Verez goes down!
Nova-Kaine moves L Verez over to the middle of the ring and goes up to the top rope.
Jimmy Garcia: Nova-Kaine is ready to fly!
*BANG*
Jimmy Garcia: Huge flipping double leg drop! He goes for the lateral press!
1!
2!
NO!!
Jimmy Garcia: L Verez refusing to quit here!
Sebastian Reid: Nova-Kaine picking up L Verez now. Twist of Fate attempt, but reversed! L Verez now going for the Celestial Descent. Reversed!
Jimmy Garcia: Reverse Twist of Fate by Nova-Kaine! Another pin attempt now!
1
2
3-NO!!!
L Verez gets her foot to the bottom rope at the last second, causing a rope break.
Gravedigger: Wow. Didn't expect it to have good ring awareness after that. It must be running on instinct.
Jimmy Garcia: Nova’s caught! Nova's caught! She's got him in the guillotine lock!
Gravedigger: But now Nova’s hand is on the rope.
1!
2!
3!
4!
Gravedigger: L Verez breaking the hold at the last second. Looks like it caused enough damage though. Nova's still recovering from that guillotine lock.
Jimmy Garcia: He's back to his feet now. But here comes…
*BANG*
Jimmy Garcia: The Quasar Implosion!!! L Verez going for the cover!
1!
2!!
3---NO!!!
Sebastian Reid: L Verez can't believe it! She's in a bit of a debate with the ref now. She feels like that was supposed to be it.
Jimmy Garcia: Wait… is that… Karlie Nash!?
Karlie Nash jumps over the barricade and grabs Nova-Kaine. As the ref turns his attention to the commotion, Karlie throws Nash into the steel steps and starts running off.
*DING DING DING*
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match as a result of a disqualification, Nova-Kaine!
Jimmy Garcia: L Verez is fuming! She's running right after Karlie Nash!
Gravedigger: Nash is getting right into the mind of the space tranny. What a fantastic way to get the mental edge on your rival! And neither of the competitors walk out happy! Perfect.
L Verez and Karlie are backstage, being separated by security.
L Verez: How dare you cost me my match, you spoiled gallon of milk!
Karlie Nash: Hahaha! That's what you get, you wannabe Star Trek bitch!
Gravedigger: Star Trek bitch is trying to get past security, but they're pulling Karlie away. Leaving it with a couple of the remaining members of security.
Jimmy Garcia: Wait, she's storming back here!
L Verez makes her way to the ring, Nova-Kaine still there as well, holding his head after the attack from Karlie Nash.
Jimmy Garcia: L Verez doing the respectful thing and apologizing to Nova for the turnout of their match. They shake hands, L Verez bowing in the process.
Nova-Kaine leaves the ring, and L Verez calls for a mic.
Gravedigger: Great. It wants to speak to our people.
L Verez: Karlie Nash! You are going to pay for what you just did! It will be optimal for you to tread lightly. The Protector of the Universe is going to make… you… BLEED!
She almost drops the mic, but raises it back to her mouth.
L Verez: Oh, and Spencer Adams. I expect an answer from you tonight. Don't keep me waiting, for I am *not* in the mood for patience.
She drops the mic and storms out of the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: What does Spencer Adams have in store for L Verez?
Gravedigger: That thing has no right to speak to the owner like that! I hope he fires that Star Trek bitch! |
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:54:44 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:56:49 GMT -6
Mustache Segment
"Turbo Lover" by Judas Priest plays. Out walks Mama Mustache. The smarks in the crowd cheer but the rest of the crowd boo her. She looks at the crowd disdainfully and puts up her middle fingers followed by the NWO “down there” gesture.
Sebastian Reid: Well, we heard the Super Stache Brothers asked for some TV time, but I guess their overbearing mother is going to take it up instead of them.
She enters the ring and yells at Taylor Lorde.
Mama Mustache: Gimme a fuckin’ mic!
The music stops playing. She brings the microphone up to her mouth but before a word comes out, Spencer Adams music hits.
Sebastian Reid: HA! Good, let someone interrupt her for once!
Gravedigger: How rude!
He enters the ring and gets a mic of his own.
Spencer Adams: I’ve been meaning to address what happened at Election Day but since I respect your husband and I wanted to give your sons the chance to celebrate their hard earned win of the Tag Team Titles, I decided to hold off until this week.
Mama Mustache: [sarcastically] Oh, what a nice fuckin’ guy ya are.
Spencer Adams takes a second before he responds so that he doesn’t lose his temper.
Spencer Adams: Before I do what I came out here to do, I just need to know one thing: why do you think you deserve a shot at the World Championship? You’re not even a wrestler, let alone a contracted talent in this company. What do you think gives you the right to even ask for a World Title shot? It’s bad enough that I get hounded all day by my contracted wrestlers pounding on my door demanding World Title shots that they haven’t even earned or my actual World Champion complains about the challengers I line up for her, but then I have to deal with the MOTHER of two of my wrestlers barging around backstage, causing all sorts of problems, abusing my production staff, picking fights with the talent on Twitter, and just generally being a pain in my ass all because she has this DELUSION in her mind that somehow, someway, without ever having wrestled a day in her life, she deserves a match for the UCI World Championship. You have to understand how ridiculous all of that sounds.
Mama Mustache takes a second of her own before she responds.
Sebastian Reid: It’s amazing. Usually she has something nasty and vile to come back at someone with right away, but this time, it looks like she’s collecting her thoughts.
She starts speaking softly.
Mama Mustache: Spencah, you got a problem with me and I don’t know why. What did I eva do to you to slight me in this way?
Spencer Adams: I just told you…
She snaps.
Mama Mustache: Don’t fuckin’ interrupt me! Have some respect for ya fuckin’ eldas, would ya? You’re a real fuckin’ punk, you know that? You made this gawd damn fuckin’ poll and ya got these people like Zawmbie MacMorris and Kawlie Nash sayin’ “Hey, we’re gonna write Mama Mustache’s name in becawse she deserves the nod.” And whadda you do? You don’t even consida me. You don’t even put my name on the gawd damn ballot. You don’t count in any of the write in votes. You don’t even think of me. Why? Becawse I’m not a contracted wrestla? Who gives a fuck?! It’s fuckin’ professional wrestlin’! You can do whateva the fuck you want, it’s your organization! You make up the fuckin’ rules! Well, there must be a fuckin’ rule that says “Ursula Mustache neva gets shit.” Sounds like my fuckin’ life! Ursula Mustache ain’t neva gotten shit in her gawd damn life! All I want, all I am fuckin’ askin’ for Spencah, is a shot at the fuckin’ World Gawd Damn Title!
Ya know how many times I had to watch my husband on the television gettin’ that fuckin gold around his waist every fuckin’ year? I was in Madison Square Garden the first time he dropped the big leg on the Titanium Shah for that fuckin’ world title. And then I watched him when he did it again against the Snatcho Man. And then I watched him again when he did it to Corporal Carnage. And then Yokofupa. And then Triple A. I watched him do it so many gawd damn times. And while he was out doin’ awl of that, you know what I had to do? I had to put the kids to bed and make sure the laundry was fuckin’ folded, and make sure that he came home to a nice clean home where he could put his World Title on the fuckin’ mantle. And I had to polish that fuckin’ shit every fuckin’ day so that it was gleaming; that way, when he took it on the fuckin’ road with him goin’ to the next fuckin’ town, that thing was glitterin’ more than a fuckin’ diamond ring, which by the way, I neva fuckin’ got from my husband when we had our fuckin’ wedding at the fuckin’ Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas where our nuptials were fuckin’ carried out by a gawd damn fuckin’ Elvis impersonatuh!
I DESERVE the World Gawd Damn Title shawt once in my gawd damn life; that way I can finally say someone fuckin’ recognizes what I’ve sacrificed in my life. Becawse without me, mothafucka, you wouldn’t have had fuckin’ Roid Rogers! You wouldn’t have had my fuckin’ husband tawkin’ about Roidamania and fuckin’ tawkin’ about his fuckin’ Roidamaniacs! You know, he had his Roidamaniacs, but he forgot about his fuckin’ little maniacs at home that he fuckin’ splooged into my fuckin’ pussy!
Jimmy Garcia begins to heave.
Sebastian Reid: Hang in there, Jimmy.
Mama Mustache: You wouldn’t have had Roidamania without me. You wouldn’t have had someone that changed this business single handedly without me! Without me raisin’ those gawd damn fuckin’ kids and bein’ the fuckin’ housewife, he wouldn’t have had the freedom to get the fuck out there on the road and fuckin’ wrestle and win the fuckin’ titles and make a lot of fuckin’ money for the fuckin’ wrestlin’ organizations he fuckin’ fought for! I gave him the freedom to do that, becawse behind every man is a good fuckin’ woman and I’ve been a good woman my whole entire life!
WELL I’M TIRED OF BEIN’ A GOOD FUCKIN WOMAN! I’m tired of being the good one in the Mustache Family! It’s time for me to be a selfish mothafucka! It’s time for ME to get out on the road and leave fuckin’ Biff and Buff home and leave Ernesto to fuckin’ cook and clean and fold laundry and do awl the otha fuckin’ shit that I’ve been doin’ for thirty fuckin’ years. It’s time for me to have my own fuckin’ ring rats! Men, women, I don’t give a fuck! I just want to be able to fuck afta the fuckin’ show! That’s awl I want Spencah! That’s awl I want! But your too much of a gawd damn cawcksuckin’ mothafucka who doesn’t care about an old woman like me who’s neva been appreciated in her whole gawd damn fuckin’ life! I could tell ya awl day about my fuckin’ fucked up life and you still wouldn’t get it, would you! Would you, you gawd damn cawcksuckin’ mothafucka?!
Spencer takes a little bit of pity on Mama.
Spencer: You think I don’t understand what kind of life you’ve had? My mother had to deal with my father, who beat the shit out of her day after day. I’m sorry your husband never appreciated you but you’re not the only wife who’s ever had it rough, and while I feel for you, it doesn’t excuse your behavior in MY COMPANY, especially kicking me in the balls at Election Day.
Mama: So why don’t you do something about it, huh? How about you and me have a match at Summermania?
Spencer starts to laugh a little bit.
Spencer: Are you serious? A match? No, no, that’s not going to happen. Look, as tough as I know you are, I can’t in good conscience fight someone who’s twice my age. It’s just not going to happen.
Mama: Who gives a fuck how old I am? First you won’t give me the title shawt, and now you won’t even give me the courtesy of a fight? You think I’m some old broad that belongs in a nursing home? You think I’m fragile? Or maybe you’re just too much of a pussy to step in the ring with me.
Crowd: Oooooo.
Spencer laughs again.
Spencer: Look, I really don’t have time for this. I have a show and a company to run. The only reason I interrupted you was to tell you that not only am I never going to grant you a World Title shot, but you are hereby BANNED from all UCI events indefinitely!
The crowd cheers.
Sebastian Reid: Thank you!
He goes to walk out of the ring but is stopped by Mama.
Mama: Hold on there, Spencah.
Spencer turns around. Mama’s mood has changed. She’s smiling now.
Sebastian Reid: Something’s fishy.
Jimmy Garcia: And it’s not her vagina for once.
Mama: It’s gonna be kind of hard to ban a manager when she has the right to accompany her clients down to the ring.
Spencer Adams: Manager? What the hell are you talking about?
Mama reaches under her moo-moo and into her underwear. She pulls out a piece of paper and puts it right in front of his face. He holds his nose and gags a little bit.
Mama: This is a fuckin’ manager’s license, just issued to me today by the California State Athletic Commission.
Spencer grabs it with the tips of his fingers and observes it.
Spencer: Great, so you’re a manager for tonight. What does that matter? Your sons don’t even have a match tonight.
Mama: Time out, genius. One, I intend on having a manager’s license in every state where UCI goes. Two, my sons do have a match tonight, which is why I told them to request this TV time that I’m taking up right now. And three, I neva said I was representin’ my boys.
Spencer Adams: Oh god. Who on my roster did you convince to let you represent them?
Mama: I brought in some fresh talent, which is what this UTI gang bang division is sorely lackin’ after my boys ran out awl the otha competition.
She looks at the crowd.
Mama: Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the first clients of Mama Mustache Managerial Services, Incorporated, Grand Poobah Flexay and Rudy 2 Booty, the SWAG TEAM!
The screen shows a picture of the Swag Team.
The Swag Team come down to the ring, dancing down the aisle. They enter the ring, shake Mama Mustache’s hand, surround Spencer Adams, and dance. Spencer pushes them away and steps out of the ring.
Mama: And now, their opponents, the UTI Gang Bang Champions, the next generation of Mustache men who flex, fight, and fuck betta than anyone in professional wrestlin’ today, Biff and Buff, the SUPER STACHE BROTHERS!
"A.D.I.D.A.S." by Korn plays throughout the arena as Buff and Biff Mustache make their way down the entrance ramp, being sure to embrace the thousands and thousands cheering fans that are vying just even the slightest touch of the two most charismatic and euphoria inducing wrestlers in UCI history. They get in the ring, stand on the ropes, and hold up their titles.
Spencer: Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is not happening.
Mama: Hey, you listen to me, prick face! This is our TV time and we can do whatever we damn well please.
Spencer: Oh yeah? Well, how are you going to have a match without a referee? You think I’m going to let any of my refs take part in this charade?
Mama: Of course not! Ya think I’m stupid? I’m one step ahead of you! Ladies and gentleman, allow me to introduce to you the LICENSED referee for this matchup, my brother, Ulysses Nabrow!
Sebastian Reid: Ulysses Nabrow. U. Nabrow? Are you kidding me?!
A picture of Ulysses Nabrow comes up on the screen.
Ulysses walks down the aisle in his ref’s shirt, and sure enough, he has a unibrow. He gets in the ring and hugs Mama Mustache and the Super Stache Brothers.
Ulysses Nabrow: Sista, I just wanna tell ya, I’m so thankful ya gave me this jawb and it’s an honuh to officiate a match wit’ my gawd damn nephews!
Mama: Brotha, I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d want to officiate this match. Come here and give ya sista a kiss!
Ulysses and Mama tongue kiss.
Crowd: Ooooo!
Jimmy Garcia can be heard vomiting.
Gravedigger: Oh come on, Jimmy, they’re family!
Spencer Adams: Alright, enough of this. If this is what you want, then guess what? Your boys are putting those titles on the line against your “clients.”
Mama: What, you think that’s going to create some sort of dissension between me and my boys? Fuck that! My boys are fighting champions! They’re willing to put the titles up against anybody, anytime, anyplace, anywhere! They came to this ring with every intention of puttin’ those gawd damn gang bang titles on the line! Right, boys?
Biff and Buff nod their heads.
Mama: Good, now start the match!
Mama leaves the ring. While the Swag Team take off their shirts, Ulysses calls for the bell and the Super Stache Brothers clobber Grand Poobah Flexay and Rudy 2 Booty over the head with their belts. Flexay falls out of the ring. Biff and Buff Irish whip Rudy into the opposite corner. Biff charges at Rudy but Rudy gets a boot up. Biff stumbles backward. Rudy charges at him but Biff pops Rudy in the air only to be caught by Buff, who hits the Mustache Ride powerbomb.
Jimmy Garcia: How can the ref let them double team this poor guy like this?!
Sebastian Reid: Jimmy, it's their fucking uncle! Think, man!
Buff double chickenwings Rudy’s arms and lifts him up. Rudy screams out in pain. Biff comes off the ropes, Buff drops Rudy, and Biff catches Rudy with a double knee facebuster.
Gravedigger: MUSTACHE SMASH!
Flexay tries to get back in the ring but Buff stomps on him while Biff goes for the cover. Ulysses counts.
1, 2, 3.
Mama: The winners of this cawntest, and still those UTI GAWD DAMN GANG BANG CHAMPIONS, MY BOYS, THE SUPER STACHE BROTHERS!!!
“A.D.I.D.A.S.” plays while the Stache Brothers celebrate like they just won the Super Bowl!
Flexay checks on Rudy while Mama stands over them. The music stops.
Mama: And as for you two, you know what? You suck! YA FIRED!
She orders Biff and Buff to grab Rudy and Flexay. She gives each of them a swift kick in the nuts. All Spencer can do is watch on in embarrassment and hold his head in shame.
Mama: Hey Spencah! You see what just happened to these two numbnuts? Well guess what? If you don’t accept my challenge by next week, ya gonna end up just like them!
She drops her mic. “A.D.I.D.A.S.” plays while Biff, Buff, Mama, and Ulysses all hold hands and raise their arms in the air. The camera fades as the show goes to commercial. |
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Post by Results on Jul 10, 2017 23:59:26 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 11, 2017 0:00:39 GMT -6
Alex Richards Segment
Gravedigger: So far this is shaping up to be a great show
I'm Not Like Everybody Else by the Kinks begins to play and the crowd explodes!
Gravedigger: Well fuck! I spoke too soon. This guy again? Like the world needed more Guardians!
Jimmy Garcia: Alex Richards is an UCI legend. I for one am estatic to see him back.
Gravedigger: And you're a moron for thinking that.
Alex Richards steps through the curtain, his doctor's bag in one hand, a boot filled to the brim with Zim-Quila in the other, the world heavyweight title around his waist. He chugs his drink then tosses the boot into the crowd before raising the title in the air to massive cheers. He then starts walking towards the ring a serious look on his face with a hint of a smile making it seem like he's probably putting it on, which he is. On the way to the ring he delivers his trademark hard high fives to the fans. At least those brave enough to want them. He wanders around ringside talking to fans for a few minutes killing time before finally entering the ring.
Sebastian Reid: He certainly is taking his time to get to the point isn't he? He made his return after being missing and assumed dead for several months claiming he was going to fix the problems within the Guardians. Time to see what's on his mind.
Gravedigger: It's Alex Richards.. there is nothing on his mind. It's literally empty.
Alex pulls a mic from the doctor's bag and begins to speak.
Alex Richards: Have I mentioned lately how great it is to be back in the UCI.. here in California?
Cheap pop
Alex Richards: Man, that always works.. especially for fat guys. Now I could come out here and drink Zim-Quila and crack jokes for hours. In fact that's what I call a productive weekend. But unfortunately I have some business I need to get down to. Two weeks ago I had the honor of watching my tag team partner, the leader of the Guardians Bonnie Blue defend the world championship at Election Day
Mixed reaction for the daughter of time reference.
Alex Richards: Since then I've been looking for Bonnie. Wanting to meet with Bonnie. Haven't had any luck. I can't find Bonnie. Two weeks ago I was proud of Bonnie. She's the world champion and she defended that world title against three of the top contenders for the world title. A former world champion, the holder of the Golden Ticket, and Mister UCI. She beat em all. But more importantly she beat them all by herself. Bonnie didn't need the Beach Krew to defend the world title. She did it on her own. As a pale, fat, bald guy I know from personal experience.. the beach sucks! No offense intended California but do you really want to see me in a speedo?
Gravedigger: Nobody wants to see that.
Sebastion Reid: We are in agreement there.
Alex Richards: Bonnie is a great champion, Bonnie is a great leader of the Guardians. But as for the Beach Krew? We don't need them! But you know.. maybe I'm wrong.. maybe she's wrong. But I figure Bonnie should come out here and sit down with the Archduke of Mass Confusion and we'll hash this out. We will get on the same page and we will make the Guardians the dominant force for good we have always been! What do you guys think?
The crowd erupts again. The Doctor Who Meets Metal E Rock song starts to play.
Jimmy Garcia: And it looks like Alex is going to get his wish. Wait no.. through the crowd.. that's.. Evil Paul Rudd! And he has a stun gun in hand! Alex is looking towards the ring ramp waiting for Bonnie. He doesn't see Rudd coming at all. He slides into the ring and nails Alex right at the base of the skull with that gun!
Gravedigger: He's really putting a charge into him isn't he! Ha ha!
Sebastion Reid: We need some help out here. Alex looks helpless. Obviously Paul Rudd got someone to play that theme to cause a distraction. He's going into his singlet and he's got a noose!
Gravedigger: You know what they say guys! If at first you don't succeed... try try again. He's gonna finish off Alex once and for all tonight.
Paul wraps the noose around Alex Richard's throat and suddenly Damian Kaine and L Verez race towards the ring. Kaine gets in first and Paul threatens him with the stun gun.. only to be floored by the bicycle superkick from L!
Jimmy Garcia: Good teamwork from Kaine and Verez there! Damian risked getting stunned there to provide the distraction for L there! Paul Rudd rolls out of the ring. Thank God for Damian and L there as Paul Rudd was fixing to do something unspeakable to Alex Richards right there.
Alex Richards slowly pulls himself to his feet, he looks at L Verez.. then looks at Damian Kaine seemingly surprised to see the former television champion. The three competitors look at each other, seemingly trying to figure out what motivations could have lead the others to be there as the show goes to commercial. |
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Post by Results on Jul 11, 2017 0:02:51 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jul 11, 2017 0:03:57 GMT -6
Guardians Segment
The camera fades back in from commercial with Alex Richards, Damian Kaine, and L Verez standing face to face (to face.)
Damian Kaine: You good, Alex? That asshole didn't get you too hard did he?
Alex Richards: Don't worry about Rudd. We'll get to him eventually. We need to focus on Bonnie.
Damian's face seems perplexed. L simply nods her head.
L Verez: Bonnie isn't in her right mind with the #beachkrew nonsense.
Alex Richards: You're right, there. And if anybody is going to get through to her, it's gonna be me.
L and Alex share a smile while Damian seems a bit at odds with himself, causing Alex to take note.
Alex Richards: You okay, man? We're gonna get here.
Damian Kaine: Actually… I'm going to take a step back. I'm not leaving the Guardians. Not in the slightest. But I've gotta clear my name from that fucking copycat, plus I want to focus on obtaining the triple crown.
L Verez: Does this mean you're not going to help us get Bonnie back?
Damian Kaine: Hell no. No, what I'm saying is I'm gonna shift focus. But if y'all need me? I'm gonna be either wherever Overload is, or I'll be in Savannah. You have my number. Don't hesitate to call. Because the #beachkrew shit needs to end.
Damian finishes his statement and walks away, leaving L and Alex alone with the news. |
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