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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 0:48:12 GMT -6
Introduction
The Philips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia has been sold out for another episode of Monday Night Overload by the wrestling fanatics and loyal fans of the UCI Universe. The camera shows every type of crazy fan going wild, raising drinks or showing their own creative signs. We cut to Gravedigger and Jimmy Garcia seated behind the commentary table ready to speak after the UCI introduction vignette is over.
Jimmy Garcia: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to another episode of Monday Night Overload! I am Jimmy Garcia alongside my partner, Gravedigger! Tonight, we have debuting stars, crazy matches especially our UCI Television Championship where it shall be defended inside the legendary movie, Good Burger!
Gravedigger: I cannot believe Keenan and Kel are here for UCI. It couldn’t be Amanda Bynes or even the chicks from Sisters. God, whatever. To make things worse, oh look, Guardians in the main event again! This is some bullshit beyond recognition.
Jimmy Garcia: Yes! After we’ve witnessed the debut of The Movement taking out The Guardians, the stable wars have been rekindled again. Lines have been drawn, loyalties shall be tested and all those who are caught in the crossfire will suffer a terrible fate.
Gravedigger: The Movement are right to attack The Guardians. The Guardians are spotlight hoggers, egomaniacs and down right the worst people to ever be signed in the UCI. If they even open the show I quit!
The cameras change to the backstage area, more specifically in the parking garage of the arena. A 2017 Black Lexus RX 350 comes to a skidding halt in the middle of the parking lot. The front doors and the left back door pop open after the engine shuts off to have all three Guardians: Andre Holmes, Bonnie Blue and Alex Richards get out of the car and the Atlanta crowd goes nuts for their arrival.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gravedigger: I quit.
Andre pops open the back for all of them to get their luggage and carry on out of the car. When they do, Alex shuts the back and they all start walking through the hallways to the private locker room.
Alex Richards: You’re never driving again Andre.
Andre Holmes: Fuck you, my driving is perfection.
Bonnie Blue: You ran over two people, drove the car through three red stop lights and ran someone off the road.
Andre Holmes: Well, Britney Spears shouldn’t be driving drunk. Oops, I did it again!
Bonnie Blue: Alright, here’s our private locker room. I’ll hit the shower first then Alex then you.
Andre Holmes: Wait, why do I go last?
Alex Richards: You spend two hours...at least!
Andre Holmes: Cleanliness is next to Andreness.
Alex Richards: What is up with our private locker room?
Alex says as he notices a trail of red flower petals leading to the door. Andre and Alex look at each other before Bonnie shoves them aside to open the door leading to a decorated PRIVATE Guardians locker room. It’s like Valentine’s Day times ten with beautiful portraits of Bonnie Blue, flowers everywhere, pink and red lights flashing with subtle romantic music playing.
Jimmy Garcia: Valentine’s Day came early?
On a round table with a red cloth, a bouquet of roses has a note attached to it with Bonnie’s name on it. She takes the note into her hand then opens it before reading it out loud to Andre and Alex.
Bonnie Blue: “Dear Bonnie. You are the most beautiful women I have ever seen and your confident inspires me to be more than I am. You are my savior, my future, my true reason for living. I want to spend the rest of my life with you knowing that our time can be infinite. Please seek me out and love me as your one and only as I haved loved you.” It’s from Saint Remi.
Andre Holmes: Oh fuck him!
He grabs the note from her hand then drops it onto the red carpeted floor. Andre starts hopping up and down, stomping it with both feet while Alex and Bonnie watch him go mad. The two stand together as he continues to stomp and kick the crumpled note into ripped up pieces. When he’s finished, Alex places a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.
Alex Richards: Okay, the note taps out. You’re fine. Bonnie, you’re not thinkin’ of going out with this dude are you?
Bonnie Blue: Hell no!
Alex Richards: Then we have nothing to worry about. ...Yes?
A knock is heard on the door and Alex opens it to see a business casually dressed man in his thirties just barge inside with a briefcase. Andre turns around to see this man make himself at home and wonders why he doesn’t get his ass kicked right there.
Dr. Barry: Hello. My name is Doctor Barry and I am here to practice birthing exercises with you Andre.
Andre Holmes: I’m sorry, who sent you?
Dr. Barry: Mr. Remi. Please, sit down, spread your legs and let’s practice our breathing.
Gravedigger: AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CONGRATULATIONS ANDRE!
Andre looks at Alex who is gesturing for him to calm down and Bonnie is doing the same. He smiles and looks at the Doctor who is pointing at the floor in other words, ordering Andre around like he’s the boss.
Andre Holmes: Dr. Barry.
Dr. Barry: Yes?
Andre Holmes: Let me talk to you in private.
Instantly, he grabs him by the back of his head before tossing him through the wooden door. His body breaks the door into pieces, shards of wood flying everywere and his body ricochets all the way into the wall. Staff and backstage workers come to the aid of the nearly unconscious fake Doctor while Alex looks at Andre a little upset.
Alex Richards: Was that necessary?
Andre Holmes: ...Yes.
Alex Richards: Eh. Got a point.
Jimmy Garcia: Saint Remi has really pushed the buttons of The Guardians and now we need to head to the first match featuring Saint Remi and Bads News Brawler. |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 0:50:06 GMT -6
Saint Remi vs Bad News Brawler
Jimmy Garcia: Our first match of the night kicks off with the Bad News Brawler already in the ring, awaiting the arrival of his opponent!
Gravedigger: And that opponent is none other than one of the three brave men who had the courage -- finally -- to stand up to those bullies, the Guardians! Jonah St. Remington, better known in the locker room as Saint Remi, makes his debut appearance here tonight!
"Enemies" by Shinedown plays over the speakers and out walks Saint Remi to a astounding array of boos. Remi throws his arms out to take in the boos as he walks down the ramp. He pretends he is high fiving people and at the bottom of the ramp he slides into the ring. In the ring pyro shoots up out of the ring post as Remi holds his arms out again in the middle of the ring. Remi backs away to the corner.
Jimmy Garcia: The bell rings and Bad News Brawler goes right on the attack, unleashing a series of punches at Remi's head! There is virtually no weight or height difference between these two men, so that may not be the best strategy on Brawler's part.
Gravedigger: No it is not -- but it's the only strategy he has! Remi stands there, trading strike for strike until a hard right rocks Bad News back on his heels. Saint Remi presses the advantage with a big boot that sends the Brawler to the mat! Brawler back to his feet in an instant, only to be met with a running knee lift!
Jimmy Garcia: He's going to feel that in the morning, GD.
Gravedigger: He sure is, Jimmy. Saint Remi is firmly in control of this match, and he is not about to let up now. This man has a lot to prove, and precious little time to do it. Here comes Brawler with a head of steam, but Remi stops him in his tracks with a flapjack!
Jimmy Garcia: Bad News in trouble now as Saint Remi goes for that figure-four, and locks it in tight! You can see the strain this hold puts on the Brawler's legs here, and the pain is written all over his face.
Gravedigger: There are ways to get out of a figure four, but I don't think Bad News knows that. Right now, his mind is on reaching those ropes before the pain forces him to tap out. He's reaching... but those ropes are just past his fingertips. Might as well be a mile away. The Brawler might not have a choice. His hand is just about to -- wait!
Smirking, Remi releases the figure four before Bad News can even think to tap out. A swift kick to the Brawler's ribs, and Remi parades around the ring, arms raised as the audience rains boos down on him. Remi reaches down to pull Bad News back to his feet...
Jimmy Garcia: WHOA! Low blow from the Bad News Brawler right to the nether region! Saint Remi is on his knees, and the Brawler has the edge now. He lays into Remi with a series of forearm strikes, and for the first time, this crowd is solidly behind the Bad News Brawler!
Gravedigger: Brawler now with a grip on Saint Remi's hair as he hauls him to a vertical base. Bad News winds up to take one massive swing -- Remi rallies back with a discus punch! Saint Remi whips Bad News into the corner and now he's measuring his shot...
Saint Remi backs up several steps, then charges toward the corner and smashes into Brawler with a massive clothesline. Bad News slumps against the turnbuckles while Remi takes to the ropes, leaning out to the crowd, egging on the jeers, conducting a chorus of disapproval. After a moment or two, he turns away with a dismissive gesture and focuses his attention on a recovering Bad News Brawler.
Jimmy Garcia: CORNER DROPKICK! Brawler may be out on his feet here!
Gravedigger: And this is where rookie sensation Saint Remi cements his place in the UCI roster. He drags Brawler out of the corner and locks in a full nelson... There it is! SOUL CRUSHER!
Jimmy Garcia: Saint Remi with a roll-up pin, and -- hey his feet are on the ropes! But the official doesn't see it!
ONE . . .
TWO . . .
THREE ! ! !
Gravedigger: IT'S OVER! Jonah Saint Remington sends a powerful message to the Guardians with his debut victory here on this edition of Monday Night Overload! |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 0:52:54 GMT -6
? Segment
We cut to a shot of the door to the General Manager's office - a piece of paper taped under the placard denoting Kenan Thompson as the guest of the week - moments before the door is pushed open. The camera gets hustled into the room first - the scene jouncing along as the operator gets shoved out of the way. Once fully within the office, the cameraman's as-yet unseen assailant begins speaking in a loud, no-nonsense tone.
Voice: All right, Spencer, here's the deal--
The voice cuts off as the shot stabilizes, showing guest GM Kenan Thompson seated behind a desk with a confused look on his face.
Voice: What the shit? Where's Spencer? Who are you?
Kenan Thompson: What? My name is on the door, what do you mean "who am I"? Who are YOU?
The camera then pulls back to give us our first glimpse of the intruder who had barreled his way into the General Manager's office. A white muscle shirt under a green plaid vest covers his solidly muscular torso, and a pair of reflective Oakley sunglasses coupled with a week's worth of facial hair try to obscure his face, but the visage of Jay Omega is unmistakable to anyone versed in UCI history. Omega pulls the shades from his face with one hand, and sweeps the other through his unruly hair.
Jay Omega: I'm the baddest sumbitch on the planet, that's who I am. Name's Jay Omega, you've probably heard of me. Now who the Hell are you, and where is Spencer Adams?
Thompson leans back in his chair with a mildly insulted expression, and steeples his fingers in front of him.
Kenan Thompson: You're joking, right? I'm Kenan Thompson, noted television star. You'd probably remember me from Kenan and Kel; I was pretty big in the late Nineties.
Jay Omega: I spent the late Nineties kicking ass in Japan, sorry. I legitimately have no clue who you are. But since you're apparently running the show tonight, how's about you rustle me up a match with someone worthy of my greatness, while I run a quick Google search on ya?
Omega suits his words by raising his left arm and tapping at the display screen of the wearable supercomputer strapped to his forearm. Kenan on the other hand, simply splutters for a few moments, then stands up in indignation.
Kenan Thompson: I'm sorry, but that's not the way it works around here. For one, I don't actually have the authority to hire you, Mister Omega. And for another, even if I could hire you, tonight's show is already fully booked; there really isn't anywhere I could slot you in. And on top of that--
Jay Omega: Oh hey, you were the other black kid on the team in the second Mighty Ducks movie! I DO know you from somewhere! Man, those were some great movies. Hard to believe that Fulton Reed kid grew up to be Foggy Nelson, eh?
Thompson slams a hand down on the desk, cutting Omega off, and gaining his attention.
Kenan Thompson: Look, Mister Omega, I don't know what you were expecting when you walked in here, but I--
The Omega Man interrupts with a single upraised finger. With his eyes closed, Jay inhales deeply through his nose, holds the breath for a count of five, then slowly releases it before he leans forward, placing both palms on the desk. His face remains a mask of stillness, but the arctic edge to his voice when he speaks is cold enough to make a penguin shiver.
Jay Omega: I was expecting a little respect. You want to know who I am? I'm a Guardian; a founding member. Some would say the least talented member, but that's irrelevant. What IS relevant, is that my friends were assaulted as the show closed last week, and I ain't too happy about that. I'm so unhappy about it that I had my starship dragon friend bring me back to Earth, just so I could do something about it. So here's the deal, either you can give a match tonight so I have a legitimate outlet for my displeasure, or I can wander the halls with a fire poker, searching for a chance to show these upstart Alpha males what a pissed off Omega looks like. Your call, "Boss".
Stunned, Kenan works his mouth like a fish for a moment, though no sound comes out. Thompson shrinks back under the intensity of Omega's scrutiny, finally sinking down into his chair, and croaking out two words.
Kenan Thompson: I... can't.
The Omega Man whirls away, his intent clear on his face. As Jay wrenches the door open, the guest General Manager calls out to him.
Kenan Thompson: Next week! I can promise you a match next week! Just, please, don't do anything that'll get me sued!
Omega pauses halfway out the door, and turns back to Kenan with a blank look that quickly becomes a too-innocent smile.
Jay Omega: No promises.
As Jay leaves the room, we turn back to Kenan, who is now holding his head in his hands.
Kenan Thompson: I am so firing my agent; this was supposed to be an easy gig. |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 0:55:51 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 0:59:04 GMT -6
Ray Burnett vs Petrov
Taylor Lorde: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Petrov's voice can be heard over the PA saying in a calm but intimidating voice "Total. Fucking. Badass." as Blind by Korn starts to play. The crowd begins to talk amongst themselves in anticipation as the intro plays out before the words "ARE YOU READY!?" are shouted and the song drops in as Petrov emerges from the curtain and leans back and let's out a deep voiced shout and walks to the ring with a serious look on his face. He runs up the steps and climbs between the ropes as he paces about while shadowboxing and waiting for his opponent.
Jimmy Garcia: Do we really need to talk about this guy? I think he kinda speaks for himself..
Gravedigger: Fuck you, Jimmy buddy! Gravedigger is number one Petrov mark!
Slowly emerging from behind purple smoke with a cup full of lean, the Annihilator paces towards the ring, and stops at it. He takes one last sip, then hands it off to one of his fans.
Jimmy Garcia: Pretty talked about debut here tonight for Ray Burnett!
Gravedigger: Against Petrov? Good luck!
Jimmy Garcia: Petrov driving Burnett into the corner as he steps through the ropes!
DING DING DING!!
Gravedigger: Petrov lifting Burnett onto the turnbuckle here.
Jimmy Garcia: Burnett with the boot though, that one sending Petrov to the mat!
Burnett climbs up, standing atop the turnbuckle with his back facing the ring.
Gravedigger: Moonsault from Burnett!
Jimmy Garcia: Big move there!
Gravedigger: Burnett looking to lock in that scorpion deathlock!
Jimmy Garcia: Can he turn Petrov over?!
Gravedigger: No, Petrov pushing back, he sends Burnett flying!
As Burnett flies back, Petrov pushes up, charging at Burnett with a boot.
Jimmy Garcia: Burnett ducking underneath though, he hooks the leg for the pin!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match, Ray Burnett!
Jimmy Garcia: Quick win for Burnett here, impressive debut!
Gravedigger: Petrov will be back for vengeance, Jimmy boy!
Burnett rolls out of the ring, smirking at a frustrated Petrov as we cut away. |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:04:00 GMT -6
Stevie Mayhem vs Karlie Nash
Gravedigger: I really hope Karlie Nash wins this week.
Jimmy Garcia: I thought you were a fan of Stevie Mayhem last week.
Gravedigger: I am. I like his attitude. But if he loses I think there's a chance he pulls down his pants and takes a shit in the middle of the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Really? That's what you're rooting for. You're so jaded after being around the wrestling business all these years that that is what you're rooting for?
Gravedigger: Yeah so?
Jimmy Garcia: Oh forget it.
Gravedigger: That's what I thought.. pussy.
War Machine by AC/DC plays in the arena, Tracy steps on the stage and moves to the side, Karlie steps on the stage, Tracy and Karlie walks to the ring showing disdain for the crowd, Tracy walks up the steps and enters the ring, Karlie climbs the ropes from outside and flashes the loser sign to the crowd, she then climbs down ans stretches in her corner
Jimmy Garcia: “The Cougar Hunter” Karlie Nash currently in the ring. After a couple of hard fought battles against members of the Guardians she definately has the experience edge on Stevie Mayhem.
Gravedigger: Mayhem don't give a fuck.
Jimmy Garcia: Yeah but that could be what costs him this week. Karlie Nash certainly is motivated to end her recent losing streak. And the newcomer Stevie Mayhem could be just the ticket to do that.
Animals by Nickelback plays and the crowd goes wild with boos except for the women who cheer. Stevie Mayhem come out with my backpack of weapons and turn around, raising my arms, everyone chants "EAT SHIT AND DIE". As Stevie goes down the ramp, the crowd keeps chanting his name. He slides in and calls the ref a faggot before going to his corner.
Gravedigger: And oh.. Karlie Nash just leveled Stevie Mayhem before the bell with a massive kick to the head! Now she's really putting the boots to him! What's up with that?
Jimmy Garcia: I would imagine the lesbien cougar hunter probably didn't appeciate the gay slur Mayhem used towards the official and is trying to show him the error of his ways.. oh vicious clothesline by Nash! Now Karlie mounts Stevie and hammers away with forearm after forearm to the face!
Gravedigger: She delivers a good five or six stiff forearms to the face before climbing to her feet and grabbing the legs of Mayhem and giving him the old wishbone. That's one move most guys are glad isn't more popular. Then does it again! Really stretching the groin area of Stevie. She continues holding the ankles and exits the ring introducing Mayhem's boys into the ring post! Then pulls him into it again!
Jimmy Garcia: Good! Mayhem had this coming to him! Karlie comes back in and goes to the top rope.. dropping a knee to the gut of Mayhem! She makes a cover.
1..
2..
kick out!
Gravedigger: You gotta do that more than that to win a match in the UCI. Stevie gets up, he seems taken aback by the vicious assault from the onset by Nash tonight. He's coming back with some punches though but Karlie goes to the eyes of Mayhem to cut that off then belly to back suplexes him down hard! Off the ropes and a diving headbutt by Karlie! She makes another pin.
1..
2..
another kick out!
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie continuing to take it to Mayhem. She shoots him off the ropes, and Mayhem ducks a clothesline.. then ducks a back elbow and goes for a cross body but Karlie caught him and plants him hard with a fallaway slam! Stevie Mayhem up Stevie Mayhem rocked with a big boot to the face. He staggers around the ring like he's on cheap whiskey.
Gravedigger: That's probably how he's going to celebrate his win when he makes the big comeback. But no.. maybe not after that vicious sidewalk slam! Karlie covers again.
1..
2..
3!
No.. shoulder up!
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie showing her frustration now she's just clearly choking Mayhem in the middle of the ring on the mat. Referee this week apparently not showing bias.. he's counting to force Karlie to break the hold. She does.. then goes right back to the choke!
Gravedigger: Hey.. you got a five count. Use it to your advantage! The referee actually has to pry Karlie off of Mayhem this time and he rolls out of the ring to the floor. Karlie isn't going to give him a break though.. she dives over the top rope with a clipping clothesline knocking Myahem down hard!
Jimmy Garcia: This match has been all Karlie Nash so far. Stevie Mayhem trying to get back to his feet and his head gets bounced off of the ring steps! Then again! Mayhem is bleeding a little now. He said this week that Karlie wouldn't be as tough as his ex. It looks like she's proving him wrong so far. DDT on the ring steps! Mayhem is out! He's not moving. Karlie rolls him back into the ring and makes the pin.
1..
2..
3!
Jimmy Garcia: Wait.. he got the shoulder up? No way!
Gravedigger: This Mayhem is a tough bastard that's for sure. Karlie fires him to the corner now and unloads on Stevie with punches. She whips him across the ring hard to the corner. Blind charge by Nash eats nothing but superkick! Right to the mouth there by Mayhem! That could have knocked some teeth out there. Karlie goes down hard. Mayhem remains in the corner trying to recover.
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie gets up and charges again but Mayhem slips out of the corner and rolls up Nash. But he's not trying for the pin. Instead using the position to punch Nash in the head!
Gravedigger: This Mayhem is a nasty guy. That's a good trait to have as a wrestler. Karlie kicks him off though. She gets to her feet and slugs Mayhem! Then drops him with a dropkick! Second dropkick is batted aside by Mayhem! RKO out of nowhere! Sorry force of habit! He's got a cover though.
Jimmy Garcia: No he's doesn't.. he's gouging the eyes of Mayhem with his thumb instead. The referee doesn't count the pin and tells him to knock that off.. so Mayhem curses at him again. Stevie up and he flips off the ref.
Gravedigger: Everyone needs to do that more. Karlie getting up, trying to clear her vision after that move.. but a snap DDT isn't going to help things! He's waiting on Karlie to regain her footing now.. he's clearly setting her up for something. And ohh.. what a vicious jumping knock out punch. I hear he calls that one the Devil's Right Hand. Wouldn't have pegged Stevie Mayhem for a Steve Earle fan. Looks like it got the job done though. Karlie is out and Stevie makes the pin.
1..
2..
kick out!
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie still has fight left in her. At least she did before he nailed her with that F5! No cover this time for Mayhem. Instead he's heading up to the top rope.. and launches himself with a swanton bomb! You know for such a foul personality this Mayhem guy has some highly skilled wrestling moves. He hooks the leg.
1..
2..
and three quarters!
Gravedigger: Stevie Mayhem rolls out of the ring and grabs himself a steel chair. He's got a mighty impressive move called the angel of death where he uses that chair.
Jimmy Garcia: That would get him disqualified.
Gravedigger: You say that like he cares. Referee though grabs onto the chair as Stevie re entered the ring with it. There's a tug of war which Stevie easily and obviously wins.. only to get bulldogged onto the chair by Karlie Nash! She should be disqualified!
Jimmy Garcia: No she shouldn't! The chair was entirely the fault of Stevie Mayhem! Nash has a cover.
1..
2..
3!
Jimmy Garcia: So close.. he somehow got the shoulder up off the canvas. Karlie will lift him up off the canvas.. and give him the jacknife powerbomb! She covers again.
1..
2..
Gravediggger: So very close. Karlie bounces off the ropes and connects with a flying forearm sending Stevie flying across the ring right into the referee!
Jimmy Garcia: What impact on that move. Mayhem's eyes are glazed over. Karlie Nash hooks the head of Stevie between her legs.. she's going for the upper body injury. No.. Stevie countered with a drop toe hold right onto that steel chair! The bastard did that on purpose.
Gravedigger: Yeah? So what? Only illegal if you get caught. He kicks the chair out of the ring as Karlie rolls around clutching her face. She gets up but walks right into the High Angle Bridging Snap Fisherman Buster DDT also known as the Sinner's Solution.
Jimmy Garcia: Not like this.
Gravedigger: The referee crawls over to count.
1..
2..
3!
Taylor Lorde: Here is your winner.. Stevie Mayhem!
Stevie Mayhem rolls out of the ring grabs the chair and takes a swing at the referee who quickly flees the scene.
Jimmy Garcia: This Stevie Mayhem is a loose cannon! Likely to do anything!
Gravedigger: I know.. that's what I like about him!
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie Nash wrestled a great match but in the end she got screwed.
Gravedigger: I disagree. All that matters is wins and losses and Stevie Mayhem won. |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:05:58 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:09:35 GMT -6
John Ojeda Segment
The camera comes on backstage, as Kenan Thompson is walking by with a happy look on his face. He is dressed impeccably in a nice suit and looks ready to play his part at the Guest GM for the night. As he continues down the hallway, the camera gets a good shot of John Ojeda and Gwen Gates talking. As Kenan approaches them, he smiles and waves.
Kenan Thompson: Well hi there! How are you guys doing tonight?
As Kenan gets closer, Ojeda and Gates stop in mid conversation. Both of them turn and glare at Kenan. But Kenan, being the jovial man that he is, doesn’t see the hatred in their eyes and presses on there.
Kenan Thompson: Well don’t you look lovely tonight maam. I love your hair. You two both have me so excited for this show. Let me tell you this, I expect the best out of you guys tonight.
John and Gwen look at back and forth between each other, clearly communicating something to each other without speaking. But Kenan soldiers on.
Kenan Thompson: And look at you big guy! You look like you’re ready for a war tonight. So you got any secrets you can tell ol’ Kenan? Some tricks of the trade so I can teach those jokers back in Hollywood a thing or two?
Kenan imitates some fake Karate moves in the air, far too close to Ojeda, but Ojeda doesn’t move yet. Kenan settles back into a regular position with his breathing a little heavy. Gwen looks at John and laughs, causing John’s eyes to narrow.
Kenan Thompson: Is it the jacket, is that what makes it work for you?
Kenan reaches out and starts to run his hands over John’s gang colors. Gwen starts to laugh nervously.
Gwen Gates: John… don’t.
Gwen keeps laughing, not really being serious about her request to John. In an instant, John’s calm demeanor breaks and in an instant, he rifles off an uppercut to Kenan’s gut. Kenan instantly reacts in pain.
John “Wrath” Ojeda: Get your hands off my fucking cut! Shut the fuck up chucklehead.
John grabs Kenan by the back of the head and runs him face first into the wall. Kenan hits hard and looks stupefied by the blow. John runs Kenan down the hallway by his head and throws him through a set of doors. Kenan tumbles out into the concourse area of the arena. Kenan screams as he lands.
Kenan Thompson: Someone help me! This is no way to treat a celebrity! Mama help me! KELLL! Kenan down! Kenan down!
Kenan tries to get up, but John follows after him and picks him up. John gets a running start and launches Kenan into the concession stand. The worker scatter from the stand as Kenan makes a giant mess in the snack stand. Kenan tries to get up and slips, falling down in a ridiculous way. Kenan gets back up again covered in nacho cheese
Kenan Thompson: Lord help me now I know what the corn chip at the bottom of the bag feels like!
Ojeda hops over the counter into the concession stand. Kenan gets up and Ojeda picks up a two liter bottle of orange soda. He swings for the fences and his Kenan in the head with it. Orange soda starts to spray everywhere and Kenan goes down. Ojeda picks up Kenan and hits him with the half empty bottle of soda, sending more orange soda flying. Kenan stumbles and face plants right in the soda fountain.
John “Wrath” Ojeda: Who loves orange soda?!
Kenan Thompson: Kel loves it! I don’t.. love… it.
John “Wrath” Ojeda: Man shut the fuck up!
Ojeda grabs Kenan’s head and shoves it under the soda fountain and turns on the orange soda tap, trying to drown him with the orange soda. Kenan coughs and sputters as the soda covers his face. He struggles, trying to get away from Ojeda, but can’t. Gates walks on the scene and looks at John, laughing at the both of them.
Gwen Gates: Okay… okay… I think you proved your point John.
John “Wrath” Ojeda: Okay, maybe I have…
Ojeda lets go of Kenan and drops him in a pool of the slop on the floor from the concession stand. John hops back over the counter. John stands there and looks at Gwen for a second.
Gwen Gates: You feel better.
Ojeda gives Gates a look and then shrugs at her comment. Kenan gets up from the mess, looking a little battle worn.
Kenan Thompson: Does that mean we can still be friends?
Ojeda turns on a dime and rifles off an exceptionally stiff right hand to Kenan’s face. Kenan goes down, out cold from the punch. John smirks and shakes his hand slightly as he turns back to Gwen. He smirks and nods.
John “Wrath” Ojeda: Okay… NOW I feel better.
Gwen Gates: Now can we get ready for the battle royal?
John “Wrath” Ojeda: I’m ready…
Gwen Gates: Of course you are.
Ojeda and Gates walk off, and the cameras fade on a shot of Kenan laying knocked out in the a pool of cheese wiz and soda. |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:14:57 GMT -6
UCI Rising Stars Championship Contendership Battle Royal Vincenzo Armand vs Trevor Lomax vs Polly Pocket vs Lydia vs Jared Black vs Gwen Gates vs John Ojeda
Taylor Lorde: The following is a battle royal with the winner going on to face Casey Holliday at Watch the Throne for the UCI Rising Stars championship!
Vincenzo emerges from the entrance and walks a steady pace to the ring as the crowd goes silent. With eyes set straight ahead, his attention never wavers or veers to the audience and he shows no sign of emotion, during his journey to the ring. Removing his coat and sunglasses, he places them neatly near the side of the ring and climbs the steel steps. Upon which, he then enters the squared circle and takes his position; leaning his back against the turnbuckle with his arms casually draped over the ropes, where he awaits the arrival of the competition.
Jimmy Garcia: It’s time to find out what the rookies are all about!
Gravedigger: Clusterfuck madness time!
"Wake Up" by Arcade Fire begins. Multi colored lights strobe throughout the arena.21 seconds into the song, a spotlight hits the entrance ramp a shower of pink rose petals shoots into the air and engulfs Trevor Lomax, his hands outstretched, head down. As he walks down the entrance ramp, he lifts his head toward the ring, arms still outstretched. He reaches the apron, climbs onto it.. At the 1:39 mark of the song, he turns to the crowd and hits the Jesus Christ pose as even more rose petals shoot from the turnbuckles. After that, he enters the ring and goes to one corner, removing his shirts.
Jimmy Garcia: A little Movement representation in this one!
Gravedigger: Anyone who is here to get under the skin of The Guardians is alright in my book!
Polly’s music plays and she comes skipping out waving and smiling, with her manager, Peter, at her side. The duo then go skipping down the aisle to the ring tagging hands and hugging fans. At ringside, they both make a big lap around the ring high fiving people, throwing out little candy packets, and just being really happy and making the fans happy. From there, Polly slides into the ring and does a cute curtsy bow to each direction of the fans.
Jimmy Garcia: Here comes one of the more unique personalities we’ve seen in quite some time in UCI!
Gravedigger: Jaaaaail baaaaiiit!
Jimmy Garcia: You’re a classy guy, Digger.
The lights go out and the pyro hits the stage in an explosion. Once the fireworks disappear Lydia stands on the stage staring down at the ring. A sinister smile crosses her face as she slowly makes her way to the ring.
Gravedigger: Big win by Lydia last week over her Uncle Hayden.
Jimmy Garcia: Huge win, Digger! She could be a real threat here!
"The Nobodies (Against All Gods Remix)" by Marilyn Manson begins to play over the system as the lights begin to dim. As the song kicks in strobe lights begin to pulsate in time to the song. As it hits the climax, Jared Black steps out from behind the curtain with a sadistic smile on his face. He slowly walks down to the ring and slides in underneath the bottom rope. He stands up and looks out at the crowd as "The Nobodies" fades away.
Gravedigger: Third match into this man’s UCI venture, could this be the big win for Jared Black?
Jimmy Garcia: Big competition here, but he’s as big of a threat as anyone here!
Bad Girls by M.I.A hits the PA as Gwen Gates pops out through the Gorilla position, smiling at the crowd as she receives a chorus of boos. After a few moments, she points to the gap in the entranceway as Pistolvania Part 2 by Vinnie Paz plays through the arena. John Ojeda steps out, joining his girl on the stage before the two make their way down to the ring.
Gravedigger: Here comes UCI’s newest power couple.
Jimmy Garcia: How will the chemistry come into play in this one?
Gravedigger: It’s a definite advantage at least in the beginning.
Ojeda and Gates slide in as a brawl erupts in the ring.
DING DING DING!!
Jimmy Garcia: A storm of punches right here!
Gravedigger: Jared Black with the vicious clothesline to Polly Pocket!
Jimmy Garcia: Big clothesline to Lydia!
Gravedigger: Jared Black on fire out of the gate!
Jimmy Garcia: Speaking of Gates, Black better watch out for the power couple!
Gravedigger: Jared Black clotheslined over the top by Gates and Ojeda!
Taylor Lorde: Jared Black has been eliminated!
Jimmy Garcia: There goes the first!
Gravedigger: Looks like the strategy these two planned is already showing to be somewhat effective.
Jimmy Garcia: Lydia with those chops across the chest of Polly Pocket!
Gravedigger: Those gotta sting.
Jimmy Garcia: Stiff shoulder block from Lydia, Polly goes down!
Gravedigger: Lydia bounding off the ropes!
Jimmy Garcia: Kip up from Polly!
Gravedigger: Hurricanrana! There goes Lydia!
Taylor Lorde: Lydia has been eliminated!
Jimmy Garcia: Five left here!
Gravedigger: Suddenly, the field starts to show itself more clearly and we’re really left wondering who can pull it off.
Jimmy Garcia: Armand and Lomax duking it out right now!
Gravedigger: Lomax with the strong uppercut!
Jimmy Garcia: Armand firing back with one of his own!
Gravedigger: Clothesline attempt from Lomax.
Jimmy Garcia: Armand managing to duck it now!
Gravedigger: Italian suplex from Armand!
Jimmy Garcia: He keeps the arms locked, pulling Lomax up for a second!
Gravedigger: Lomax shifting his weight back down here.
Jimmy Garcia: Cutter from Lomax!
Gravedigger: Lomax bringing Armand back to his feet as these two are right back at it, trading blows left and right!
Jimmy Garcia: Clothesline from Armand, these two out on the apron now!
Gravedigger: Double big boot!
Taylor Lorde: Vincenzo Armand and Trevor Lomax have been eliminated!
Jimmy Garcia: Great effort by those two as they eliminate each other!
Gravedigger: Suddenly, we find ourselves down to just three!
Jimmy Garcia: Polly with the dropkick to Gwen Gates!
Gravedigger: Dropkick to Ojeda as well here!
Jimmy Garcia: She knows she’s the one at a disadvantage here, she’s gotta capitalize!
Gravedigger: Gates back up, Polly looking around here.
Jimmy Garcia: Hurricanrana attempt by Polly!
Gravedigger: Gates catches her, Gates lifting up Polly Pocket!
Jimmy Garcia: Dumped over the top rope!
Taylor Lorde: Polly Pocket has been eliminated!
Gravedigger: We’re down to just tw-
DING DING DING!!
Jimmy Garcia: Ojeda catches his girl from behind! Showing himself as a true opportunist, Ojeda has won this one and will face Casey Holliday at Watch the Throne!
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match and number one contender to the Rising Stars championship, John Ojeda!
Gravedigger: Huge win for Ojeda!
On the outside, Gates throws her hands up in frustration before resting them on the back of her head. The power couple shoots each other a grin as Gwen claps for John and we cut away. |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:17:41 GMT -6
Triple Threat Match Bolas de Arena vs Albion Enigma vs Kraven Killjoy
Taylor Lorde: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Return to Innocence by Enigma starts playing on the background, as out of the entrance runs Albion Enigma. He stays in front of the crowd and falls on his knees, putting his hands first on the floor and then raising them up with his fists clutched. He then jumps up on his feet and gets to the ring, as he falls on his knees on the middle of the ring and lets the cheers of the crowd fill him.
Jimmy Garcia: One of the most exciting newcomers right here!
Gravedigger: One of the biggest weirdos if you ask me.
Jimmy Garcia: I’m sure he’d be pleased to hear you say that!
A loud gunshot echoes the arena followed by the trumpeting of an elephant. Few seconds later Kraven comes running out to the sound of a stampede, holding Dante up in the air. He runs around the ring a few times before rolling into it, he wraps Dante around his neck and throws his hands into the air, as a lion roar burst through the speakers.
Gravedigger: Probably the most intimidating member of The Movement right here.
Jimmy Garcia: Can’t disagree there!
Gravedigger: You have to. Otherwise, people might actually think we’re friends or something.
"Smooth Criminal" starts and the crowd goes wild as the World’s Favorite Jackass comes out to a roar. He raises his hands in the air, does a double fist pump and runs to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope. He practically slides to the middle, striking a sexy "I'm on a bear skin rug" pose, before bouncing up and climbing a turnbuckle to the roar of his fans. He walks to the ref, shakes his hand, sticks some Monopoly money in his hand and walks away, the mask winking at the crowd as he points out pretty women and happy children in the crowd and waves to them.
Jimmy Garcia: One of my favorite parts of a UCI show!
Gravedigger: Heh...balls.
DING DING DING!!
Jimmy Garcia: Right away here, these three going at it!
Gravedigger: Stiff kicks to the gut from all three of these men, trying to chip away at the competition.
Jimmy Garcia: Enigma with the swinging neckbreaker to Bolas!
As he gets back up, Enigma is met with a hard clubbing forearm to the back of the head from Kraven.
Gravedigger: Killjoy throwing Albion through the ropes now and he’s sent tumbling to the outside.
Jimmy Garcia: Bolas back up here!
Gravedigger: Killjoy has him now.
Jimmy Garcia: Sitout facebuster from Killjoy!
1!
KICKOUT!
Killjoy smiles as he gets off the luchador, pushing back up as Albion slides back into the ring.
Gravedigger: Spinning clothesline from Killjoy!
Jimmy Garcia: Tough shot there!
1!
KICKOUT!
Gravedigger: Kraven sinking the arm under Albion’s neck here.
Jimmy Garcia: It’s been all Kraven Killjoy here so far!
Gravedigger: Not if Spider Balls has anything to say about it.
Killjoy’s hold is broken up via a kick to the back from Bolas. He shoots a wicked look towards the luchador as he quickly rises to his feet.
Jimmy Garcia: Kraven doesn’t appear to be too pleased with Bolas interrupting there!
Gravedigger: Kraven charging at Bolas now.
Jimmy Garcia: Great move pulling down the bottom rope and Kraven is sent flying to the outside!
The crowd pops as Bolas retains his hold on the top rope, using it as leverage to pull himself back up. Loud “Bo-las!” chants ring out as the charismatic wrestler looks from side to side before running off the ropes and vaulting over.
Gravedigger: Crossbody from Bolas.
Jimmy Garcia: Kraven catches him!
Gravedigger: Unbelievable strength from Kraven Killjoy here! Bolas suspended with that military press now.
Jimmy Garcia: Here comes Enigma!
Gravedigger: Dropkick through the ropes from Enigma, that one landing right into the gut of Killjoy!
Enigma gets to his feet, grabbing hold of Killjoy and positioning him against the announce table.
Jimmy Garcia: Look out for Albion!
Gravedigger: Step back, Jimmy!
As Jimmy and Gravedigger clear out, Albion gets a running start towards Killjoy before sending him over the top.
Jimmy Garcia: Albion with the clothesline over the top here!
The crowd pops for Enigma as he quickly rises back up, turning his attention to Bolas who has now managed to roll back into the ring.
Gravedigger: After taking out the threat that is Kraven Killjoy, I think Albion might be looking to end this one.
Albion slides back into the ring, stalking Bolas.
Jimmy Garcia: Trying to lift Bolas up in suplex position!
Gravedigger: Bolas planting the foot though, swinging Albion’s weight up!
Jimmy Garcia: MILF driver!
Gravedigger: Could this be it?
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!
Jimmy Garcia: Killjoy just a second too late sliding into the ring and Bolas wins it!
Taylor Lorde: The winner of this match, Bolas de Arana!
Gravedigger: Fast paced, fun action. That’s what UCI is all about right there! |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:18:05 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:24:20 GMT -6
UCI Intercontinental Championship Contendership Mikey Carson vs PerZag
'Eye of the Tiger' blast over the PA system as PerZag walks down to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He carries a microphone in hand as he walks down to the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: It looks like PerZag has something to say.
Gravedigger: Isn't he supposed to have a match?
Jimmy Garcia: Yes, but he must want to speak first.
Gravedigger: Ugh, fucking hell. We have to listen to more shit tonight.
PerZag reaches the ring, and rolls inside, before standing up, and walking to the center of the ring. He puts the microphone up near his lips, and begins to speak.
PerZag: "Okay, I know I am supposed to have a match right now, but I have something to say. And it's simple. After a back and forth banter between myself and some rimjob artist that I will not name, *cough Remi *cough, I would officially like to offer my services to The Guardians. Now, I am pretty fucking certain that they don't need it, but as long as I get to punch the face in of Saint Remi, I will be a very happy person.
Now, with that said, and out of the way, I would like to officially announce that The Worthy Alliance is open for applications. Yes, The Worthy Alliance. This Alliance is only for those that are deemed Worthy, which is why the application process is here. So, if you are out there, and you want an alliance with myself, and any other member of The Worthy Alliance, then apply. Everyone can apply. Not everyone can enter. So, with that said, let's get to the one thing you have all been waiting for. MY MATCH!"
PerZag drops the microphone, and backs into the corner to await his match which is up next.
Gravedigger: What a disgrace.
Jimmy Garcia: What are you talking about?
Gravedigger: Last month Stevie Corah was the InterContinental Champion. This month Perzag and Mikey Carson are competing to be the number one contender and Bonnie Blue is the champion. For shame.
Jimmy Garcia: What are you talking about? Mikey Carson took Celeste Mallory to the limit two weeks ago.
Gravedigger: And lost. He's a loser.
Jimmy Garcia: What about Perzag. One of the most improved wrestlers on the roster. Picked up a huge win last week.
Gravedigger: He's a loser too.
Jimmy Garcia: What's wrong with you? Are you jealous these guys are in their prime and you're retired?
Gravedigger: I think I can still kick your ass Jimmy.
Jimmy Garcia: Well I know both of these guys could kick your ass Gravedigger. And whoever wins this is going to be one hell of a challenge for the dominant IC champion Bonnie Blue.
With there being a small amount of silence with the fans waiting for the next bit of action. The very opening to what sounded very similar to a video game could be heard filling the arena’s speakers. Seconds later “Game Over” by Lil Flip blasted through the arena’s speakers causing the crowd to erupt with cheers. All eyes found themselves falling to the entrance set up. Only a couple of brief seconds had passed before the curtain was pushed aside leading to the man they called “The Next Generation” came out. Mikey Carson headed right to the middle of the entrance ramp with his ring jacket up over his head. Gripping a hold of it and yanking it down to view the crowd. The loud cheers were heard. A smile just crossed his lips with the man beginning to make his way down the ramp.
Taylor Lorde: “Ladies and gentlemen making his way to the ring at this time. Coming from Carson City, Nevada. Weighing in at one hundred and eighty pounds. He is the Next Generation, MIKKKKEYYYY CAAARRSSONNNN!”
On the ramp the man managed to slap a couple of hands with the fans before reaching the ringside area. Walking up to the ring, he pulled himself up onto the apron before turning and starting to climb the top rope. Managing to make it to the top, he perched himself up there looking out at the thousands that were cheering for him. It was a situation that warmed his heart. In that being said Carson leaped from the top rope into the ring where he began to remove his ring jacket. At the same exact time the man’s theme music was starting to die out putting him in a position where he was about to engage in some in ring action.
Taylor Lorde: And his opponent, in this InterContinental title number one contendership match, Perzag!
Jimmy Garcia: There's the opening bell and the opening lock up. Perzag immediately uses his 45 pound weight advantage to power Mikey Carson to the corner and offers up a clean break.
Gravedigger: See, that's why I don't like these two good guys. Why power someone to the corner if you're not gonna blast em one in the chops.
Jimmy Garcia: Because you have confidence in your skills that you don't need to in order to win? Perzag showing his ability with a nice hip toss there into an arm bar on Carson whop kips up, then does a backflip into a Mexican armdrag! Perzag kips up himself and grabs a side headlock. Mikey bounces him off the ropes and gets floored with a shoulder block. Perzag hits the ropes Mikey leap frogs him then executes a monkey flip! Perzag ducks a clothesline and dropkicks down Carson. He makes a cover.
Not even a one count.
Gravedigger: Both men back on their feet now. And they nod at each other. See? This sportsmanship crap is boring. Perzag scoops up Carson for a slam. He slips out the back door then dropkicks \Perzag into the ropes and connects with a back stabber! He's gonna pin him.
1..
2..
kick out!
Jimmy Garcia: Mikey whips Perzag off of the ropes it's reversed.. tilt a whirl pick up by Perzag is countered with a head scissors takedown! Mikey will snap suplex Perzag down then springboard off of the ropes with a legdrop!
1..
2..
kick out!
Gravedigger: Seated dropkick to the head of Perzag and another cover.
1..
2..
another kick out!
Jimmy Garcia: Mikey Carson looking a little frustrated. You know from his comments earlier his losing streak is getting to him. You have to wonder what he's willing to do to break it.
Gravedigger: We'll see what he's made of by the time this is over. Nice short arm clothesline by Carson which he quickly follows up with a snap DDT! Mikey Carson going to the top rope.. He nails the Cream of the Crop!
1..
2..
3!
Jimmy Garcia: Nope, foot on the ropes by Perzag. Good ring awareness by the Worthy One. Mikey drags Perzag to his feet.. he looks a little shaken up.. Carson 3:16.. that springboard stunner is countered with a short punch to the kidneys. Now Perzag tosses him over the top rope by the hair!
Gravedigger: See! That's more like it! Do what you gotta do in order to win. Perzag holding the ropes open for Carson now. C'mon.. that makes me sick.
Jimmy Carson: You have serious issues Gravedigger. Carson renters and.. wait a second.. Perzag dropped that rope down across the back of Carson's neck then nailed him with a vicious knee lift!
Gravedigger: Ha ha! I think we now know who I'm going to be cheering for. Take it to him Perzag! Vicious snap mare.. then the neck snap.. and a big boot to the face! Hes got a cover.
1..
2..
kick out!
Jimmy Garcia Perzag was getting outwrestled and frustrated so he took a short cut there.
Gravedigger: And so what? Look how he's doing now. Perzag rams Carson head first into the corner and now he's lighting him up with chops! Big Beal out of the corner.. and he follows it up with a running fameasser! He's gonna pin him.
1..
2..
Jimmy Garcia: Mikey has way too much fight in him to stay down after just that. Big belly to belly by Perzag now. And now he's going to garvin stomp Carson. I have to give Perzag credit. He knows his wrestling history and he's willing to use it against his opponents. Now he pulls Carson up and gives a running powerslam shades of a certain British brawler.
Gravedigger: The only real brawler is the Bad News Brawler. Perzag pulls the stunned Carson to his feet. It looks like he's going for the Perzag perfection.. but it's countered with a small package.
1..
2..
Jimmy Garcia: He almost pulled that off out of nowhere! But Perzag runs Carson over with a vicious clubbing lariat. Mikey trying to punch his way back to his head but Perzag levels him with a shining wizard. Now he's slapping Carson in the side of the head a few times. There's no need for that.
Gravedigger: This Perzag is a cocky wrestler. You can't turn that off. Either you believe you're better then anyone else in the world or you don't. And Perzag does. Butterfly suplex by Perzag. He keep this up and he can prove he is indeed better then anyone else. He's going to lift up Carson into the torture rack now. Undersized Mikey is not going to get out of this. This match is over.
Jimmy Garcia: You've seen Mikey so far in the UCI though. This guy has serious heart. I can't see him submitting here. Especially with a title shot on the line.
Gravedigger: He better quit. You can't wrestle with a broken back.
Jimmy Garcia: He's shaking his head though and refusing to give it up. Perzag looks annoyed and oh.. goodnight! He just dropped him back first right across the knee with a vicious backbreaker.
Gravedigger: Told you he should have quit.
1..
2..
Gravedigger: How did he kick out of that?
Jimmy Garcia: I'm telling you Gravedigger. You can't measure heart.
Gravedigger: Sure you can. Heart is for losers. And look at Perzag applying a Boston crab now. Really putting the pressure on Mikey's already injuried back. Two weeks ago he got his neck jacked by Celeste Mallory. He refused to give up, he lost anyways. Learn from it and give it up kid.
Jimmy Garcia: That's terrible advice.
Gravedigger: Is it? You see the grimace on Carson's face. You can see how much pain he's in. But yet he's still telling the referee no. But he can't fight it. He's just going to pass out and what would that prove?
Jimmy Garcia: Carson pulling his way towards the ropes. He's inching towards those ropes and persistence pays off as he just barely touched that bottom rope. And ohh.. knee right to the spine by PerZag. Then a couple of stomps to the back.
Gravedigger: Yeah.. that really worked out well for him didn't it? Perzag will lift Carson onto the top rope. This superplex is going to do it. His back can't take this punishment much longer. He pushes off and..
Jimmy Garcia: Mikey countered with a flip over blockbuster! Normally he dabs after he does that. But he's in too much pain at the moment but still a great move!
Gravedigger: Dabbing is fucking stupid anyways. Both men are still down and referee Franky Downs is counting.
1..
2..
3..
4..
5..
6..
7..
Perzag is up..
8..
9...
Mikey is up and immediately grabbed in a full nelson.
Jimmy Garcia: He's going to give him the stroke.. blocked by Carson... Russian leg sweep! Mikey slowly getting up again.. Perzag back to his feet again first but Mikey dropkicks him right in the knee.
Gravedigger: That's a dangerous move. Could blow out an MCL with that. Then a running European uppercut knocks down Perzag! The Worthiest one of all gets back to his feet only to eat a superkick! Mikey will cover him.
1..
2..
Jimmy Garcia: You gotta do more then that to beat Perzag. Mikey drags Perzag to his feet.. and he's trying to lift him up for a brainbuster.. he seems to be straining after all that work on his back.. he lifts him up.. and drops him down hard.. right on the top turnbuckle! That could break someone's neck.
Gravedigger: It might have. Perzag isn't moving. Mikey goes to the top rope.. if he hits this it could be over.. corkscrew moonsault.. well executed and hit perfectly by Carson. He's gonna pin him.
1..
2..
3!
Jimmy Garcia: No... referee Franky is saying it was only 2. I thought he had him there. Mikey Carson lifts Perzag onto his shoulders now.. he could be going for a DVD... no instead he dumps over him the top rope! Perzag trying to get up.. he landed hard on his head there. Mikey holds the ropes now open... but instead he dives through them flattening Perzag with that suicide dive!
Gravedigger: I love it when your so called good guys start breaking the rules! Mikey Carson re enters the ring.. and this time he springboards to the top rope and.. holy shit! Achievement Unlocked to the arena floor! Yeah that was brutal! I don't know if it was smart though. After that I doubt either of them can get back into the ring. If they both lose can Corah get another title shot.
Jimmy Garcia: No.. Carson is getting up. He's on the ring apron and Perzag leaped up and belly to back suplex onto the floor. 7...8... Perzag rolls back in.. 9... 10.. no... Perzag rolled back out to break up the count.
Gravedigger: Why did he do that? He had the win!
Jimmy Garcia: Because Perzag is the kind of guy who wants to win the match. He doesn't want a count out, he wants to pin Carson! And sends Carson down again on the floor with a massive headbutt... now he's going to whip him into the ring post.. but it's reversed by Mikey.. who then follows it up with a big time leg lariat on Perzag! His head hit that ring post hard!
Gravedigger: See, trying to play fair is going to cost Perzag the victory. |Carson tosses him back in now.. and he nailed him in the middle of the ring with the Game Over!
1..
2..
3!
No! No! No!
Jimmy Garcia: The crowd is chanting Holy shit! They don't know how he kicked out of that either! Carson looks amazed. How is he going to put away Perzag now? I think he's got some idea though.. he dumps Perzag into the corner with a northern lights suplex tying him up in the corner. He goes to the top rope on the opposite side... and literally dives across the ring with a double stomp right to the face of Perzag! That could have broken his jaw there. He drags him to the middle of the ring.
1..
2..
3!
Gravedigger: I don't think so. Perzag got that shoulder just a fraction of an inch off the canvas. I gotta give both these guys credit. They might be good guys but they certainly aren't holding back tonight. Carson going for the finish him. He may have played too many video games over the years but this tiger suplex is going to end this up if he hits it.. but no! Perzag manages to bull rush Carson be he can lift him off the ground and hammers his back against the corner with a brutal spear!
Jimmy Garcia: Now he plants him in the middle of the ring with an equally brutal Anderson style spinebuster! He drapes an arm across the chest of Carson.
1..
2..
somehow didn't get him!
Gravedigger: I don't know what Perzag has left in the tank here. Ohh.. looks like he's going something left.. he lifts Carson for a powerbomb.. he's going for the Worthiest move of all.. But Carson counters the powerbomb with a sit out DDT! Now Perzag is the one who's down and out. He rolls on top.
1..
2..
3!
Jimmy Garcia: Perzag got the foot on the ropes. Undaunted Mikey pushes Perzag into the ropes for the self assisted alley oop.. o c'onnor roll into the.. wait.. Perzag turned on him with a knee lift.. he countered the German suplex portion and Perzag Perfection!
1...
2..
3!
Gravedigger: No..in the ropes. Perzag executed a great counter.. and hit his pet move. But he was too close to the ropes. Carson realized it. But now look at Perzag he's going to the top rope.. waiting on Carson to get up... Death From Above... that standing moonsault... countered with a sit out tombstone piledriver!
Jimmy Garcia: No way Perzag is kicking out from that.
1..
2..
3!
No!
Jimmy Garcia: Carson shakes his head, he can't believe it either. But he pulls Perzag into position.. and.. he nailed it! That tiger driver.. the Finish Him!
1..
2..
3!
Taylor Lorde: Your winner of the match and NEW number one contender for the InterContinental Championship... Mikey Carson!
Both men lay on the mat, obviously spent after the war they just went through.
Jimmy Garcia: Mikey Carson with an extremely hard fought win against Perzag tonight. These guys destroyed each other for the right to challenge Bonnie Blue and in the end Mikey just barely edged this one out.
Gravedigger: I'm happy. After that performance Mikey is going to destroy Bonnie Blue. Those damn Guardians have too many titles. I hope he drops her on her stupid head too and takes the title.
Jimmy Garcia: One thing is for sure.. that is going to be a instant classic match. Kind of like the one tonight was. |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:29:27 GMT -6
Tag Team Match Toxin vs Kuno Kenji/Andre Jenson
DING DING DING
Taylor Lorde: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL
Jimmmy Garcia: ONE FALL
Gravedigger: FUCK YOU!
“One More Diamond” by Elliot Goldenthal hits as the crowd instantly sits on their hands and/or decides to go for a bathroom break for the next couple of minutes.
a lone green spotlight shines on the entranceway. The man known as Carlton in his dress pants, loafers and cardigan sweater walks out making sure that the area is clear as Kaycee Caprice, the woman known as “Poison” walks through the entranceway slowly and seductively wearing her trench coat, The Rose & Thorn of wrestling, Persephone follows her in her purple and black wrestling gear…
She looks around for a moment and cracks a smirk as Persephone takes her hand and leads them to the ring. She may stop to entice and flirt with the fans as she enjoys the attention, they even pose for selfies as pictures of themselves with anyone are satisfying. Once the girls known as Toxin get to the ring, Carlton opens up the ring ropes but she instead shakes her head and splits on the mat to the roar of the crowd and rolls under the ring, Persephone, seductively goes through the ropes that Carlton holds open as he quickly helps her take off Persephone’s cape and Kaycee’s coats. They walk up to opposite corners and raises their hands with a sexy smile on their faces.
They get down and meet in the middle of the ring, they kiss each other on the cheeks and pose to the camera awaiting the start of the match while Carlton makes his way to their corner.
Kaycee prepares to face her opponent teasing and flirting with the referee in the process…..
Literally people make a noise.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing first, here is Kaycee Caprice and Persephone, together known as TOXIN!
Jimmy Garcia: WHAT A WELCOME FOR THESE YOUNG LADIES DIGGER
Gravedigger: Yeah.... Sure....
Jimmy Garcia: What's gotten into you?
Gravedigger: It's....Personal
Jimmy Garcia: Yeah?
Gravedigger: I don't wanna talk about it.
Jimmy Garcia: Fair enough, here comes one of your favourites now to cheer you up though!
A loud, high-pitched "Nyaaaa!~" echoes over the PA system, causing the women and children, (and a few very weird adult men), to squeal in delight.
Gravedigger: OH FOR FUCK SAKE!
Jimmy Garcia: Don't know why you are surprised. We knew this match was on.
Gravedigger: Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it!
Taylor Lorde: And their opponents, from Senpai's apartment, here is the Kawaii House Cat KUNO KENJI!
Tokameki Poporon starts playing as soft lights in baby blue, white and pink illuminate the entire arena, matching the colors on Kuno's tights as he walks out from backstage, drawing another huge pop from the crowd, his black cat ears perking up at the roar.
Not quite anticipating such an overwhelming reaction, Kuno hides his blushing face in his hands, drawing several "Aww"s from the audience.
As the vocals of the song kick in Kuno manages to forget about how terrifying he finds the crowd as he skips down to the ring, head moving from side to side in sync with the music as he sings along.
Upon reaching the ring, Kuno jumps onto the apron and looks around before slingshotting into the ring and doing a cartwheel when he lands, rolling around into a cat-like stretch, letting out a soft "Nya~", drawing a second exclamation of "Aww" from the crowd before he makes his way to his own corner.
Jimmy Garcia: He looks ready to go, he's on a roll with Andre Jenson, their new found alliance seems to be reaping rewards!
Gravedigger: Oh. Yay I guess?
A deep voice booms from the PA system "In the world of the fantasy land of Kem begot a new type of warrior, one which was created from the fires of the star Elume and forged in the great battles of the third age. A warrior so daring and so brave that King Dennis the maker himself would try to destroy him and fail. This man is more than man, he is legend"
Big Blue Dress by Cranius begins to play as mist slowly rolls up the entrance ramp
Taylor Lorde: And introducing, from the Fantasical island of Kem, here is the Bane of Undersund and Time magazine's least likely world leader to invade a foreign country, ANDRE JENSON!
The mist continues to roll. There is no Jenson.
Taylor Lorde: Andre Jenson!
She points to the ramp, as if trying to summon him. No one comes, just the mist.
Taylor Lorde: ANDRE JENSON!
Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. The ramp stays empty. Toxin laugh, the crowd look at Kuno who merely takes a giant breath and shrugs. He turns to the referee who also shrugs.
Jimmy Garcia: LOOKS LIKE THIS ONE IS GOING TO BE A HANDICAP MATCH NOW DIGGER
Gravedigger: great. I'm so, so, happy about this.
Jimmy Garcia: Are you sure you're ok?
Gravedigger: I already told you I wasn't!
Jimmy Garcia: OK then.
Persephone takes position on the apron as the bell rings
DING DING DING
It's also interspersed with the sound of a few dozen party blowers coming from the ringside seats. A bunch of people are sitting on the front few rows now wearing party hats. Kuno frowns and locks up with Kaycee. The crowd seem to be getting a bit more of a buzz now, looking at the party goers by the ring who are all blowing party blowers and one person has set up an impromptu buffet, setting a table on the ring side of the barrier.
Jimmy Garcia: What in the world?
Gravedigger: A party? Oh, I bet I wasn't invited to that either.
Jimmy Garcia: Is that a hog roast?
Gravedigger: Oh fuck.
Jimmy Garcia: You know something Digger?
Gravedigger: Think about it, who's the only person we know who would set up a medieval banquet in the middle of a match.
Jimmy Garcia: He isn't?
The crowd part a little and you see Andre Jenson starting to carve a hog roast while watching the match, drinking from a stone goblet encrusted with jewels.
The people in the ring have started to notice now, Kuno glares at his tag partner. He looks to the ref, just after he punches Kaycee down to the floor, then rolls out of the ring. He walks to AJ and they have a conversation.
Jimmy Garcia: Have we got a mic down there?
Gravedigger: If we don't we're amateurs.
Sure enough a mic is there within seconds.
Kuno: What are you doing Jenson?
Jenson: Birthday party. I invited you.
Kuno: We are supposed to be in a match!
Jenson: Oh! I totally forgot to tell the booking team it was my day off today! I'm in no fit state to fight.
He leans in close and whispers conspiratorially,
Jenson: I've been drinking mead. Don't tell Amy!
He puts his finger to his lips to shush everyone. Kuno is disgusted. He rolls back into the ring. Persephone Tries to hit him with a wicked clothesline and Kuno ducks underneath it with a rollup
1
2
3!
Taylor Lorde: Here is your winner! KUNO KENJI!
Immediately Toxin attack him together, starting to give him a beatdown. Persephone claws his back while Kaycee starts to kick him all over. Jenson sways a little and looks to the Druid and the Warrior.
Jenson: Go help.
They immediately nod as Jenson turns around and helps himself to some more hog roast and starts to dance in the crowd, turning his back to the ring and starting a conga line.
The druid and Warrior slide into the ring, looking at Toxin beating on Kuno.
Jimmy Garcia: OH NO!
Gravedigger: OH YES!
Jimmy Garcia: I'M SURE THAT'S NOT WHAT HE MEANT!
Gravedigger: ARE YOU THOUGH?
The Warrior and Druid joined in on the beatdown with Toxin. They were holding Kuno down while the ladies took turns in punching and kicking him. The Warrior slides to the outside of the ring and grabs a chair or two, throwing them into the ring. The women pick them up and start to beat Kuno even more with them.
The crowd are finally booing at this point. The women don't seem to care though. They throw the chairs down in disgust and storm out of the ring, hurling abuse at the crowd. The Warrior and druid now take it in turns to get a few shots in before picking Kuno up and tossing him out of the ring like a child straight through the dessert table!They smile at each other and then go to the drinks table, grabbing a couple of tankards. They clink them together and take a hearty swig as they look down at Kuno's battered body.
Jimmy Garcia: POOR KUNO KENJI – HE DIDN'T DESERVE THAT AT ALL, WE NEED SOME MEDICAL PEOPLE OUT HERE
Gravedigger is laughing, a hearty laugh.
Gravedigger: OH THAT CHEERED ME UP! |
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:30:15 GMT -6
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Post by Results on Jan 17, 2017 1:37:25 GMT -6
UCI Television Championship Good Burger Brawl El Trébol Jr © vs Teo Del Sol
Jimmy Garcia: Every week, fans tune into UCI for their dose of craziness. This next contest is no exception!
The feed cuts to the inside of a 1990’s fast food joint. A row of diners makes up a sort of viewing audience as we see two luchadors stretching out in the middle of the dining room. Standing between the two wrestlers is a young black man with a whimsical expression.
Ed: Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?!
A whiney, frustrated voice yells out somewhere from the back of the establishment.
Mr. Baily: Ed!
Ed: Yeah?!
Mr. Baily: Just call the match!
Ed: Oh!...well okay!
The young man rushes behind the register, quickly picking up a phone and punching in a series of numbers.
Ed: Hello?! Is this the match?!
Mr. Baily: The wrestling match, Ed! Just announce the participants!
Ed: Oh! Haha...well why didn’t ya say so?!
The spunky youth leaps over the counter, adjusting his headset as he goes to speak to the viewing audience.
Ed: The following brawl is scheduled for one fall, dudes! Hah! Over here, we have the challenger, Teo del Sol!
Some of the patrons applaud as the popular luchador raises a fist in the air.
Ed: Oh yeah! The other dude is the UCI TV Champion, El Trebol Jr.!
More applause as Ed steps away and the two shake hands before quickly breaking and circling each other.
Jimmy Garcia: Looks like that’s the queue, ladies and gents!
Gravedigger: That skit was stupid.
Jimmy Garcia: Well, it’s match time now!
Gravedigger: Oh boy.
Jimmy Garcia: Trebol and Teo trading some strikes here in the beginning, looking to make this a true brawl it appears!
After a few consecutive, close-range strikes, El Trebol Jr. grabs hold of Teo, whipping him towards a nearby table for two.
Gravedigger: My god!
Jimmy Garcia: Hard impact there as del Sol is just launched into that mess of metal!
Teo’s face shows the pain as he arches his back in reaction to the hit. Trebol appears focused and aggressive as he pulls his fellow luchador to his feet once more, launching him over the counter this time.
Gravedigger: The champ does seem a lot more motivated tonight than we’ve seen him before.
Jimmy Garcia: It’s a unique match against a foe who is really gunning for Trebol’s claim to fame!
Gravedigger: Well, it looks like he’s looking to turn it up even more.
The crowd of patrons looks on in shock as Trebol lifts up on the register, removing it from the front counter as he waits for Teo to rise to his feet.
Jimmy Garcia: This could get ugly!
Gravedigger: He’s looking to take the head off his opponent.
As Teo stumbles to his feet, Trebol takes a step back, launching the register towards his head.
Jimmy Garcia: Oh god!
Gravedigger: That was close! Teo just barely managed to avoid the impact.
Jimmy Garcia: I don’t think we can say the same about that window behind him!
With the force required to launch the weaponry, Trebol is brought to a hunched over position as Teo collects himself and makes his move.
Gravedigger: Sol driving Trebol forward, nice counter by him as he drives the champion back first into that countertop!
Jimmy Garcia: Sol hooking the champion now, appears to be attempting that front suplex onto the counter!
As Teo lifts Trebol up, Trebol manages to shift the weight, landing on his feet atop the counter.
Gravedigger: Great awareness by the champion there.
Jimmy Garcia: Stiff kick under the challenger’s chin to match!
Teo stumbles back as Trebol leaps off the counter with a sense of urgency.
Gravedigger: Flying dropkick from Trebol!
Teo slumps down a bit against the end of the burger assembly line, but Trebol stays on the offensive as he drags the challenger with him towards the grill.
Jimmy Garcia: Spatch not present, but his signature instrument is!
Gravedigger: Trebol smacking Teo with that spatula, interesting choice for sure.
Jimmy Garcia: Hard slaps echoing through the kitchen!
Trebol wedges the spatula among the equipment, making it stick out edge first.
Gravedigger: This is a dangerous El Trebol Jr. we’re seeing tonight!
Jimmy Garcia: Face first into that spatula!
Gravedigger: No! Sol planting the feet!
Teo puts weight under the champion, throwing him over himself and onto the grill, causing Trebol to scream out in pain as he is planted back first on the hot surface.
Jimmy Garcia: Absolutely sickening!
Gravedigger: I’m glad we’re not there to smell the burnt flesh on the back of El Trebol Jr. right now!
Trebol quickly rolls off, trying to crawl away now as Teo takes a minute to collect himself.
Jimmy Garcia: Teo back on his own hunt now!
The challenger reaches across both sides of the equipment surrounding them, dragging various dishes from their resting places, causing them to crash against the steel assembly areas and floor below.
Gravedigger: Teo getting himself fired up here!
Trebol grabs onto a counter, trying to pull himself to his feet as Teo assists by grabbing hold and pulling him up, dragging the champion back towards the front.
Jimmy Garcia: More blows being traded here between these two!
Teo delivers a stiff knee to Trebols gut before lifting the champ onto his shoulders and stepping onto the front counter once more.
Gravedigger: Look at the strength from Teo del Sol, climbing onto the counter with his opponent’s weight on his back like it’s nothing!
Jimmy Garcia: He makes it look easy!
With Trebol on his shoulders, Teo goes to step forward, but is met with some counter elbows to the side of the head.
Gravedigger: Trebol working his way out of this one.
Trebol delivers one last elbow, causing Teo to loosen up as he drops behind the challenger.
Jimmy Garcia: Teo launched forward here!
Gravedigger: HOLY SHIT!
Jimmy Garcia: Is Teo alive?!
The dining area goes silent as Teo collides head first with the glass face of the Good Burger milkshake machine, causing a rush of Strawberry liquid to pour out over the downed luchador.
Gravedigger: What the hell did we just see?!
Trebol drops to a knee, collecting himself before rolling off the counter and grabbing Teo by the head.
Jimmy Garcia: I don’t know how these two are still in it!
Gravedigger: They just had to go and ruin the damn Strawberry jacuzzi..
Trebol drags his challenger towards the doors to the establishment, pounding away at the head as Teo struggles to stand.
Jimmy Garcia: Exiting Good Burger now it appears!
Gravedigger: Are they allowed to do that?
Jimmy Garcia: It’s a brawl, Digger, anything goes!
The camera and crowd inside rush out the doors after them as we get a shakier view of Trebol dragging Teo across the street.
Jimmy Garcia: They’re going to Mondo Burger!
Gravedigger: Those traitors!
Dragging Teo around the side of the building, the two disappear behind the competition’s restaurant.
Jimmy Garcia: Where could these two be heading?!
Gravedigger: Not sure. It doesn’t look like they’re anywhere in sight..
Jimmy Garcia: Sooo...is that it then?
Gravedigger: Um...maybe?
The camera suddenly jerks skyward as the mob standing outside pops loud.
Jimmy Garcia: Look, Digger! Teo del Sol is on top of the straw!
Gravedigger: No way!
Teo balances himself, looking down at an unconscious champion laying on the lid of the giant cup that sits on top of Mondo Burger.
Jimmy Garcia: Somebody put a stop to this! If Teo slips, this could be a life or death situation!
Gravedigger: This is the TV division, Jimmy!
Jimmy Garcia: Teo pointing to the heavens!
Gravedigger: OH MY GOD!
Jimmy Garcia: HABANERO HIGH DIVE!
Gravedigger: Habanero high dive onto El Trebol Jr.!
Jimmy Garcia: Teo hooks the leg!
1!
2!
3!
Gravedigger: Unbelievable!
Ed: Haha! Cool!
Gravedigger: Where the hell did he come from?!
As Teo struggles to his feet, he is handed the championship by a ref as Ed speaks once more.
Ed: The winner and newwwww UCI TV champion, Teo del Sol!!
Jimmy Garcia: Where did the ref come from at that?!
Gravedigger: This was...strange, Jimmy, but I enjoyed every second of it!
The camera fades as Teo’s hand is raised from the top of Mondo Burger. |
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